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Fender Bender (NSFW)

If you’re looking for a print of a pig-nosed guy with a boner sniffing a guitar neck, I may have good news for you.

205 comments on Fender Bender (NSFW)

  1. mamsy99
    June 19, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    and in a STIFF mailer too……

    Thumb up Thumb down +142

  2. MatildaLjungberg
    June 19, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    With 1 boob even.

    Thumb up Thumb down +215

    • monkey33
      June 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm

      Are you talking about the artist?

      Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • barky
      June 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm

      a uniboob!

      Is it just me, or is this um…person… in the painting rather oddly attached?

      Thumb up Thumb down +57

      • jenipants
        June 19, 2012 at 4:32 pm

        I was thinking the same thing.
        1. That is totally a boob.
        2. His wang looks like it’s a late addition by a myopic surgeon.

        Thumb up Thumb down +89

        • Lola
          June 19, 2012 at 9:17 pm

          I know I’m supposed to be looking at his wang, but all I can see is the BOOB.

          Thumb up Thumb down +24

          • Postmenopaws ™
            June 19, 2012 at 11:42 pm

            Artist paints chick playing guitar.
            Boyfriend says, “Looks like a dude.”
            Paint flies.
            Artist says, “It IS a dude.”
            They have sex again.

            Thumb up Thumb down +30

  3. HaileyHalitosis
    June 19, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    I bet that this will be sold in the next month. I know people, people who are very high all the time, that would enjoy this framed above the mantle of the oven in their travel trailer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +65

    • MacPhellimey
      June 19, 2012 at 2:53 pm

      Hmm… I think this boob drawing boob may have given me a hint on solving my money troubles actually. XD

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • resonanteye
      June 19, 2012 at 6:04 pm

      I actually kind of want to buy this for my old roommate- a ginger metal-riffing guitar player dude. I wonder if he’d actually hang it up.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  4. spankyb
    June 19, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Probably strangely considering the subject matter, my first question was ‘Why is she wiping her nose on the guitar?’ followed by a scroll down and my second thought. ‘Oh. Perhaps it’s not a she’.

    Thumb up Thumb down +156

    • Stretch65
      June 19, 2012 at 2:36 pm

      “a shim?”

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • aliceblue
        June 19, 2012 at 9:51 pm

        Of course, should have known – it’s Shim Morrison.

        Thumb up Thumb down +56

    • Kitchen Bish Vagina
      June 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm

      This is actually of a poster promoting the off-Broadway show, The Crying Game: A Musical

      Thumb up Thumb down +44

      • Badger
        June 19, 2012 at 7:24 pm

        All I could think was MtF pre-op. Because that is definitely a boob AND a boner.

        Thumb up Thumb down +14

  5. Zena
    June 19, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    His boobs are better than mine at least…

    Thumb up Thumb down +54

    • mamazog
      June 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm

      In the same position, my left boob would be trying to smother that monkey-boy tattoo on my bicep. Huh. There’s another phrase that will only exist on the internet: “monkey-boy tattoo on my bicep.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

      • Mugsy Doodle
        June 19, 2012 at 2:54 pm

        Saw your post further down…now that I look at the tat, it really DOES look like HK, but because I had tried hard not to focus on any details, I didn’t notice it. I gave you a thumbs up.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

  6. lawmom
    June 19, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    It looks the artist clearly painted a woman and then as an afterthought, stuck a bone on there. At least the drapes match the carpet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +88

    • Getoffmylawn
      June 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm

      It looks like a game of Pin the Wang on the Rocker…

      Thumb up Thumb down +114

    • megatron
      June 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

      And stuck it on her leg for some reason.

      Thumb up Thumb down +138

      • Annabelle de Jour
        June 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm

        I noticed that too – the wang is clearly sprouting out of his/her upper thigh.

        Or maybe it’s just a really bad hernia.

        Thumb up Thumb down +62

        • Mugsy Doodle
          June 19, 2012 at 2:36 pm

          I’ve known people with double hernias…not sure if I’m sorry this isn’t one of them.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • Maman Brigitte
        June 19, 2012 at 4:15 pm

        What’s up with these painters who’ve mastered the use of color, line, shading, etc, but can’t figure out where to stick a dick correctly? It’s like watching an aspiring singer who belts out songs like Jennifer Hudson, but can’t sing a damn note in tune. Congrats, Etsy – you’re the American Idol of bad art.

        Thumb up Thumb down +64

    • Stretch65
      June 19, 2012 at 2:40 pm

      yes! its the attention to detail like that that makes this rise to the next level. But there is something else that I just cant put my finger on…

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Dances With Lasagna
        June 19, 2012 at 5:52 pm

        I’m not sure I *want* to put my finger on it.

        Thumb up Thumb down +17

  7. raeannabanana
    June 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Beard and breast notwithstanding, what happened to the last 1/4 of the painting? It had a strong start, and then the right (his/her left) kind of turned into an alien hand, and he/she seems to have a serious hip problem. Probably ought to see a doctor about that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

    • BewilderingDialogue
      June 19, 2012 at 2:52 pm

      It’s actually a portrait of a rocker shortly after being run over by a steamroller.

      Only possible explanation.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • ArmyHippieChick
      June 19, 2012 at 11:53 pm

      The secret’s out: it’s a blind collaborative piece. As in, both artists were blind to each other’s work, which resulted in a surprise ending. ;)

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • katfud
        June 21, 2012 at 1:01 am

        I’m pretty sure that’s a Happy Ending…

        At $20 for that thing, there should be.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

  8. chicknaggie
    June 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Is it sad that I’m just glad it’s only $20 instead of $200. For $20, this would make an excellent prank gift if nothing else.

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

    • knitibranch
      June 19, 2012 at 2:36 pm

      The print is only $20. If you want the actual painting, prepare to shell out $500.

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

  9. DrMuffinz
    June 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Why is his/her penis growing out of his/her inner thigh? I am concerned.

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

    • Zena
      June 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

      Yeah it’s far too low! Couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it…

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Stretch65
        June 19, 2012 at 2:42 pm

        This is one of the breast paintings I’ve seen from this artist

        Thumb up Thumb down +15

  10. FistyAnn
    June 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Clearly commissioned by Dave Mustaine.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • Beckinstein
      June 19, 2012 at 2:26 pm

      That explains SO much!

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • BewilderingDialogue
        June 19, 2012 at 2:55 pm

        Dave Mustaine enjoys paintings of rockers who have been crushed by steamrollers?

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Elysapeth
      June 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm

      This is what Dave Mustaine did shortly after he punched James Hatfield. I know this because the idea of punching James Hatfield gives me a boner.

      Thumb up Thumb down +21

  11. angrierthanyou
    June 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    I’ve come to the conclusion that absolutely no one on etsy can draw decent pecs. Stop with the boobies on the menfolk! Or at least put in the description they’re supposed to be boobies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • Getoffmylawn
      June 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm

      Oh come on, tits all they know how to do!

      Thumb up Thumb down +38

    • BewilderingDialogue
      June 19, 2012 at 2:56 pm

      I’ve come to the conclusion that absolutely no one on etsy can draw decently pecs.

      There. Fixed.

      Thumb up Thumb down +24

    • CrabOfDoom
      June 20, 2012 at 9:37 pm

      Stand aside, etsy! My skills at nekkid manboobs are here to save you!

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  12. butterwort
    June 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    Is he playing the guitar backwards? That’s what’s really bugging me.

    Is he even playing the guitar at all?

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • ebinard
      June 19, 2012 at 3:18 pm

      No, he’s not “playing” guitar at all, he’s molesting it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +46

    • OhHowMyBrainHurts
      June 19, 2012 at 5:07 pm

      I don’t think a guitarist could properly hold and play a guitar with a stiffy that big. My theory is there’s a coke bullet attached to the neck he’s trying to get a hit off of.

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • aliceblue
        June 19, 2012 at 9:56 pm

        With that stiffy he should be playing the guitar like a violin.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • rockahulahoops
          June 20, 2012 at 5:15 am

          Or a cello.

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
      June 19, 2012 at 8:23 pm

      /serious nerd pickle face

      The modern guitar is actually derived from the harp and was intended to be played upright and outfacing with the base resting between the musicians knees. If you look at some of the old acoustic guitars, it’s much easier to envision. When bands and stage performances became popular, it gradually became adapted to be played as we know it to be today.

      /end serious nerd pickle face

      …also, as a (mediocre) guitarist, I’m having the hardest time imagining that anyone could possibly be that aroused by a ‘Dean’ guitar.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

  13. Zippy
    June 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    The whammy bar is in the wrong place.

    Thumb up Thumb down +75

  14. MockingbirdDont
    June 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    I KNEW LINDSAY LOHAN WAS A DUDE. IT’S ALL SO OBVIOUS NOW. The drinking? The bad choice in friends? The meth? ALL CRIES FOR HELP FROM A TORMENTED YOUNG MAN. Come on out, Lindsay. We’re here for you, and we accept your purple dick and fire crotch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +65

  15. raeannabanana
    June 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    And what’s up with the thigh penis?

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • Matt Johnson
      June 19, 2012 at 1:55 pm

      You no like thighwang?

      Thumb up Thumb down +54

      • ilikedeadbabyjokes
        June 19, 2012 at 2:33 pm

        Oh no Mister Johnson, me gusta.

        Thumb up Thumb down +17

        • Matt Johnson
          June 19, 2012 at 2:36 pm

          Te gusta chuletas de cerdo en la biblioteca?

          (Do you like pork chops in the library?)

          Thumb up Thumb down +21

          • Mugsy Doodle
            June 19, 2012 at 2:39 pm

            That sounds like a question that our favorite Finn, Petja, would ask after using a translation app.

            Thumb up Thumb down +38

            • aliceblue
              June 19, 2012 at 9:59 pm

              I still remember the two “best” phrases we were supposed to translate in H.S. Spanish class: “What caused the explosion?” and “He watched while she drowned.” I think the textbook people were having a bad day.

              Thumb up Thumb down +18

              • Postmenopaws ™
                June 19, 2012 at 11:56 pm

                I went to middle school in California, so of course I took French. My favorite phrase was “Jean est dans le sac.”

                John. In the bag.

                o_o

                It was funny as hell in 8th grade.

                Thumb up Thumb down +7

              • Midge
                June 20, 2012 at 7:21 am

                Jealous! All we ever talked about in French were people going to the friggin’ library and wondering where their aunt’s pen was.

                Thumb up Thumb down +7

  16. Magical Realist
    June 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    I think the tattoos are nicely rendered. Really, I do.

    So I’m just going to admire them, rather than look at the way his scary Barbie-colored peen is sprouting out of his upper thigh. Because looking at that just gives me the queasy shudders.

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

    • abyssgazer
      June 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm

      Yeah, but why a tattoo of Joyce DeWitt?

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • Matt Johnson
        June 20, 2012 at 8:24 am

        Ahhhh….the most unsung member of the “Three’s Company” cast…Awesome tattoo choice! I have one of Bea Arthur.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Mugsy Doodle
      June 19, 2012 at 2:40 pm

      I read “that gives me the queasy shoulders,” and that gave me pause.

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • mamazog
        June 19, 2012 at 2:48 pm

        Wow. I read shoulders, too. Bifocal time? No…more rum.

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

        • bethycutiepie13
          July 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

          Unfortunately, I stopped and backtracked when I saw “queasy shoulders” on nothing stronger than coffee. Apparently, this painting is something that causes even shoulders to dry heave.

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

  17. raeannabanana
    June 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    That hand makes me think of Scary Movie and the guy with the little withered hand.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  18. monkey33
    June 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    I need a van and this need to be on the side of that van.

    Thumb up Thumb down +74

  19. Vagrarian
    June 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Lessee…a tit, a dick growing from the thigh, weird hips, ugly nose, too-bright tats….

    At least it’s fondling the dials on the guitar rather nicely.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  20. Angel Laveaux
    June 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    YES! I made it to Regretsy infamy! I love you guys, dicks, tits and all!

    Thumb up Thumb down +187

    • Vagrarian
      June 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm

      And you get love from me for having such a great sense of humor!

      Thumb up Thumb down +59

      • Unfortunate Incident
        June 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

        Indeed!

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

        • Lola
          June 19, 2012 at 9:28 pm

          Three cheers for Angel XD

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • GlitterFairy
      June 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

      Congratulations! I bet your sales will mysteriously increase after this. ;)

      Thumb up Thumb down +35

    • MockingbirdDont
      June 19, 2012 at 1:56 pm

      If I didn’t have a wise cracking 4 year old, with the penchant for repeating all she sees and hears, walking around this thing would be hanging in my kitchen. Kudos for being awesome.

      Thumb up Thumb down +24

    • Mugsy Doodle
      June 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm

      OK, be honest—did you do this painting as Regretsy bait?

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • Angel Laveaux
        June 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm

        Mugsy, I did not. I painted this years ago. However, I do think it’s awesome that some of you guys think the tat looks like HK.

        Thumb up Thumb down +34

        • Postmenopaws ™
          June 20, 2012 at 12:01 am

          I had to go back and look for that…and yes, it does.

          I’ve actually kind of been obsessing over his sensuous lips…

          Me. Bunk. [slithers off]

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • silverbit
      June 19, 2012 at 4:31 pm

      you are hilarious and awesome.

      I gotta tell you though “ashtray heart” really has something going for it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Kyasarin
      June 19, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      I’m envious. All I could do on Etsy is slog along with the rest of the hopelessly mediocre who will never see their work either purchased by people with actual taste or featured on the rarefied heights of this site. But you–you have accomplished something. Be proud! Regretsy infamy does not come to the faint-hearted!

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • BewilderingDialogue
      June 19, 2012 at 5:11 pm

      I’m just curious; no pressure – were you going for Regretsy infamy with this piece?

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • BewilderingDialogue
        June 19, 2012 at 5:19 pm

        Sorry, I didn’t notice you had answered this question already.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • CupcakeFucker
      June 19, 2012 at 5:55 pm

      Hey, I just logged in to tell you I really love some of your paintings, especially ‘Kate’s Two Loves’, ‘Southern Gotham’ and ‘Edgar & Allan’. You use color really well and there’s this mix of pulp, deco and psychedelia which is really cool.

      Also, even with the gynecomastia I would still hit it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • Vagrarian
      June 19, 2012 at 6:04 pm

      I think “Storm Chaser” rocks, myself.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  21. Shaniataint
    June 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    The tat on his left upper arm looks kinda like HK to me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • mamazog
      June 19, 2012 at 2:50 pm

      Oh, Christ on a cracker. Don’t say that … I referred to it as a monkey-boy farther up the posts. Imma get down-thumbed.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  22. Unfortunate Incident
    June 19, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Hmmmmm, there is a scene in Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughter House 5 that describes the main character’s discovery of his son playing a pink guitar in the bathroom. However, I don’t remember anything about fondling knobs in the narrative.

    I’m sure that this a very literate piece. Totally sure.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  23. Cockamamie Jamie
    June 19, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Titties, dick, and rock & roll! And, mailed “stiff” for your private fondling pleasure!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  24. Upcycled
    June 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    *Loads the page*

    A NSFW tag! Just for one misshapen boob? Lol-

    *Scrolls down*

    Oh my.

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

    • follox
      June 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

      I got that, too… before I scrolled, the picture cuts off just at the bottom of the guitar :D

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  25. abbynormal
    June 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    one half of the chest has a white boob the other half is black and boobless. its like a kfc bucket of mystery MEAT. hurk hurk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  26. magentaboo
    June 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Isn’t the guitar a little small? Or is it because other objects look larger than actual size?

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  27. miraty
    June 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Is it just me or is the base of his penis located on the inside top of his right leg? Awkward.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  28. Matt Johnson
    June 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Why are the subjects of these types of paintings always in outer space? Do stoners hate painting backgrounds? Or did the brownies kick in after they were done painting the translazerguitardudechickthing?

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  29. calculusgirl
    June 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    The dangling modifier makes April’s comment that much funnier.

    sniffsniffsniffsniffsniffsniff

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • jolyre
      June 19, 2012 at 2:11 pm

      I love a good dangling modifier. I actually looked at the picture good and hard (heh) trying to figure out how that boner was sniffing the guitar neck.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • DarkSock
      June 19, 2012 at 2:53 pm

      I think he/she is sniffing in the essence of Mr. Hankey, who is making a cameo up by the 5th fret.

      That explains the flared nostrils.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  30. Angel Laveaux
    June 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    You know, I’ve always painted bodies in disproprtion. I don’t know why, but sometimes I like it and sometimes I don’t. My strength is in my colors, I think. Anyway, this is a portrait of some dude I met on Craigslist. I meant it to be serious at first, but then said ‘fuckit’ and turned him into a trannie. Because I love trannies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +83

    • Angel Laveaux
      June 19, 2012 at 2:02 pm

      *disproportion*

      Damnit. SO EXCITED!

      Thumb up Thumb down +30

    • whimsiclefucker
      June 19, 2012 at 2:12 pm

      Congrats on the feature!

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • LovelyOrangina
      June 19, 2012 at 2:20 pm

      I appreciate a technical breakdown of the materials used as much as the next person, but I really think your work would sell better with a bit of a backstory. I know, it’s what Etsy advises and your instinct is tell Etsy to fuck off, but if this comment is any indication of the kind of stories you can tell about your work, I think you’re sitting on a gold mine. Because now that I know it’s some “dude [you] met on Craigslist”, it’s totally going in my to-be-purchased-when-I-have-extra-money list.

      Thumb up Thumb down +41

      • Angel Laveaux
        June 19, 2012 at 3:52 pm

        Hah! You really think so? I have all kinds of embarrassing stories about this piece in particular. Embarrassing to other people, not me. Obviously I have no shame.

        Thumb up Thumb down +37

        • BewilderingDialogue
          June 19, 2012 at 5:15 pm

          LovelyOrangina is absolutely right!

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • LovelyOrangina
          June 19, 2012 at 5:59 pm

          I AM right. Do it and report back. I can’t wait to hear about Mermaid Sushi II.

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

          • LovelyOrangina
            June 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm

            Just in case, I checked out your Etsy store again, and look, you’ve updated your item description. Personally, I think “Dirty Magic” would also make an excellent title.

            http://www.angellaveaux.com/1/post/2012/06/gender-bender.html

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

          • Angel Laveaux
            June 19, 2012 at 9:38 pm

            Oh, hell. This is going to take forever since pretty much every piece has a story, BUT I get bored at work a lot, SO I may just revamp all my descriptions in the coming days. Thanx for the valuable feedback! Normally I just trudge along in Etsyland never expecting to get much attention there, as do most, unless they are resellers.

            Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • knitibranch
      June 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm

      FWIW, the people I know who are transsexual find the word “tranny” demeaning. Not trying to be the word police or anything, but sometimes people use words they don’t know are hurtful right up until they find out that they are, ’cause it wasn’t intended that way….

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Angel Laveaux
        June 19, 2012 at 4:54 pm

        I apologize for my offensive faux pas.

        Thumb up Thumb down +23

        • Matt Johnson
          June 20, 2012 at 8:27 am

          …although it is funny to split hairs on offending words on a website dedicated to making fun of people…

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • terriwells
            June 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

            Ah, now that reminds me of an old saying: “A gentlemen never gives unintentional offense.” It’s the UNINTENTIONAL part that’s the key here.

            Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • ebinard
      June 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm

      Your use of color, sense of humor, rendering of tattoos…and cock…all very strong assets!

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • Angel Laveaux
        June 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm

        I appreciate it! Especially if you’re not being sarcastic.

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

        • halcat
          June 19, 2012 at 4:26 pm

          You really do have a much higher level of artistry and technical skill than we’re used to seeing here. I suppose the debate over relative personal appeal is a side effect of unusual art.

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • Shaniataint
          June 20, 2012 at 12:44 am

          I just checked out your blog and saw your other work – some very nice stuff. I especially liked some of your acrylics. Violet Violet was my fav.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Flouncerrific
      June 19, 2012 at 4:00 pm

      Your New Orleans Pride watercolor is gorgeous. I kind of adore a lot of your stuff.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • Angel Laveaux
        June 19, 2012 at 5:00 pm

        Thank you, halcat and Flouncerrific, for your kind comments.

        To be honest, this is one of my oldest paintings. I’d like to think I got better since then, even though I am proud of all my work. Some of it does make me wince, but everything I’ve done shows me how far I’ve come, artistically and personally.

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • BewilderingDialogue
      June 19, 2012 at 5:12 pm

      That explains a LOT! Thanks!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  31. T-Bone
    June 19, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    Do I dare ask how the dude’s nostril got stretched out so wide?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  32. Trickster
    June 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    As a shemale, I am inclined to think this is supposed to be one too. I mean, the 80′s had hair bands, but Steven Tyler never had boobs. (Or the snout.)

    Now, David Bowie, on the other hand…

    Dammit. Now I miss the 80′s, and feel old. :P

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • Trickster
      June 19, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      My 80′s Cheerilee pic didn’t make it through so I’ll try once more:

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • Trickster
        June 19, 2012 at 2:10 pm

        Huh. That’s weird. Regretsy’s forum is stripping my img tags. Does that mean they can’t be hotlinked, or am I doing something dumb*?

        ( * = …er than normal)

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • pearlheartgtr
          June 19, 2012 at 2:20 pm

          What’s strange is that the img tags aren’t in the list below the text field. Maybe it’s a wordpress hiccup.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • lemon_bombs
        June 19, 2012 at 2:57 pm

        It’s not just me?

        The flounce shindig is called off.
        Or renamed.
        Whatevs.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • pearlheartgtr
          June 19, 2012 at 3:59 pm

          Nope. But my last comment was a reply and it ended up with it’s own number.

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Angel Laveaux
      June 20, 2012 at 8:56 am

      Maybe it’s not so ironic then that David Bowie was my very first masturbatory idol (thank you, “Labyrinth”!).

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  33. lemon_bombs
    June 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    That boner looks like an afterthought. Or like the stapon harness was painted out.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • barky
      June 19, 2012 at 3:40 pm

      And the whole works is rolling down his/her leg on its own little wheels.

      That explains it!

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  34. lemon_bombs
    June 19, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    strapon

    derp derp derp

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  35. butts lol
    June 19, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    This painting could use a lot Les Paul in it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • rumpledtulip
      June 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm

      And a lot less peter.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

  36. butts lol
    June 19, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Mucilage, doll. They fall off in a month…?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  37. Victoria Regina
    June 19, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    He/she seems to be adjusting the size of the smell.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  38. darkmoonlady
    June 19, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    I thought at first this was a rejected movie poster for Rock of Ages..

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Mugsy Doodle
      June 19, 2012 at 3:02 pm

      There’s a building near my office that is always decorated with a giant movie poster–at least 20 stories high. It had Rock of Ages for a few weeks. This afternoon I noticed that half of it had already been whitewashed out. Buh-bye Tom Cruise!

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  39. lemon_bombs
    June 19, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  40. ebinard
    June 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Kissed by fire…lucky. And the rug matches the curtains, a true red maiden.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  41. annearama28
    June 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Is it weird the first thing I noticed was its gigantic eyebrow?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  42. slovaksiren
    June 19, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    When I scrolled down, I was seriously expecting the ding-dong to be covered by the guitar… I should have known better, I mean, this is Regretsy.

    But seriously, that penis looks really low to me for some reason… the again, considering I can’t remember the last time I even seen a guy naked, I wouldn’t know…

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  43. slovaksiren
    June 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Anyways, he he should get that purple head on his penis checked out… That doesn’t look natural at all…

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

    • Postmenopaws ™
      June 20, 2012 at 12:11 am

      I believe it was used to “paint” the guitar.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  44. Dragon8Lady
    June 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    More like GENDER Bender….

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  45. Dick Puncher
    June 19, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    Why is it coming off their leg?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • BewilderingDialogue
      June 19, 2012 at 5:18 pm

      Because it can.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  46. Petja-Herra
    June 19, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    This reminds me of one point, my writing. short story

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • Petja-Herra
      June 20, 2012 at 4:14 am

      “It was one of a kind Agatha never been seen in museums or galleries. She turned the picture face, trying to deduce the position of the model had been.
      It is understood he was trying to deduce the position of the artist was. Very confusing to work.
      Not technically a very fine, but he had to admit that it was something big. Or at least more than she had ever seen.

      And a new image, similar to, but a new type.
      42 files with the same subject, in various configurations, but the same man. Sure, there were a couple of pictures, which had nothing to what she would have known that it was the same man, but man am certain of it.”

      Quote from my short story “Tourist of Bragalone”

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  47. thecreightonberyl
    June 19, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    That guitar’s got a Helluva sustain.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  48. Vox Mortuum
    June 19, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    “‘Cause I love my guitar
    I love my guitar…

    “We always stay up late at night
    Up in my bedroom
    Soemtimes we get carried away
    Banging the wall, banging the floor
    Burning both ends of the midnight oil…”

    //can’t believe no one’s whipped out the Jump Little Children song perfect for this yet…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  49. WhenSnowballsAttack
    June 19, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    I have an unexpected craving for a churro dipped in grape jelly and I’m not even pregnant.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  50. Beriadan
    June 19, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    I have my fingers crossed for friday to come, my brother has been complaining that I haven’t gotten him his birthday present. Happy birthday!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Beriadan
      June 19, 2012 at 8:18 pm

      Hell I’m going to get two, I have a friend I’d like to scar.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  51. Cygnata
    June 19, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    Why is his dick coming out of his thigh?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  52. Ladymongoose
    June 19, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    How can Guitar Hero’s penis possibly compete with that meticulously-stippled starry night?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  53. Ladymongoose
    June 19, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    ‘It will be shipped in a bubble wrapped stiff mailer for protection. ‘

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  54. Ejia
    June 20, 2012 at 1:51 am

    Oh thank goodness. A day without penises on Regretsy is like a day without vodka.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  55. DarkSock
    June 20, 2012 at 6:53 am

    Sir, I request that you NOT rock out with your cock out.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  56. o2beatdbeach
    June 20, 2012 at 7:20 am

    Etsy’s rendition of Vintage Vera Wang.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  57. ChaosTheory
    June 20, 2012 at 8:58 am

    Ah heck, I misread that as FASSbender NSFW and got all excited.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Ejia
      June 22, 2012 at 1:02 am

      Do I have to cover myself with ancient alien writing for Fassbender to poke at my squishy bits?

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  58. amurana
    June 21, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    NO WAY. Turns out this painting is HUGE in real life. I know this because it was done by a roommate of a good friend. Based on someone she met on craigslist. I feel so close to hideous greatness! YAY!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  59. Angel Laveaux
    June 22, 2012 at 7:28 am

    I’m such a size queen, right? Hahah! I’m not sure who you are, but hello! <3

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  60. bouffantbettie
    June 26, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    haha wtf why!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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