AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
June 17, 2012 at 12:18 pm
I worked with a dame once upon a time that had a standing order with the wine store that was delivered to her house every Thursday afternoon. She even drank so much during a lunch meeting once that she had to have someone drive her home to wait for it because she wasn’t capable. After that she gave the delivery guy a key.
She may have been a drunk, but at least she was a responsible one.
They are only giving it away because CPS is making a home visit. The last visit didn’t go well after they saw the Absolut accent lamps and baby rattle made from an old bong.
It’s strange how often I run into Craigslist ads with a higher asking price in the description than the price that’s shown in the title. Was there some ‘standard Craigslist practice’ update I missed that sanctioned this?
Note the flower vase on the floor, the women’s shoes, throw pillows, and hair band on the floor. This is a young man’s treasured artwork being evicted by the new lady of the house. Pour one out for his youth.
Reminds me of my garage sale experience yesterday. I scored a Boba Fett bobble head off a guy who’s wife kept hovering and giving me cheaper prices… I think I bought a piece of his soul for $3
I find myself more bothered by the fact that the bottles are so unevenly placed than by the fact that it’s a table made of Jack Daniels bottles. If you’re going to do a thing, do it right, damn it.
All I can think of is how many wasps (or teenagers) this will attract in summer. It’s altogether too optimistic to assume that the etsy madmen know how to properly wash a bottle out.
I stand corrected: not etsy madmen; craigslist madmen. Which is somehow even worse. I just assume that everything on craigslist has been rubbed on someone’s genitals at some point.
The best part is that they were savvy enough to remove everything from the table before taking photos, but too stupid to realize that we can see all that crap on the floor and couch in the background. Klassy.
I think it’s sweet how many people are closet Lohan fans. I’ll try to be more sensitive next time she wrecks her Bentley while she’s all hopped up on Z and crack.
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
June 17, 2012 at 12:31 pm
I ‘m pretty sure that $50 wouldn’t even cover a 40 pounder of JD here. How many could you buy in Santa Monica for $50? 3? 4? 5? There are a few reasons I go to the US every couple of weeks. Cheap, illegal booze is one of them. I guess that’s why i’m so out of touch with “Canadian” liquor prices. I will pay more for our beer here though. Our export is shit.
this isn’t so much “made of” jack daniels, as it is “supported by” jack daniels. i was highly disappointed in the final product. a little more creativity, please!
So, more like a real wino curled up asleep on your floor to support a glass tabletop with “What’s the word/Thunderbird!/etc.” etched around the perimeter?
June 17, 2012 at 9:34 am
That will go perfectly with my bean bag chair stuffed with cirrhotic livers!
June 17, 2012 at 9:47 am
And my puke-aquarium.
June 17, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Hold my hair, I gotta feed the fish…
June 17, 2012 at 4:10 pm
pukuarim, as it were
June 17, 2012 at 9:35 am
One of the bottles is missing a lid. Would not buy.
June 17, 2012 at 9:42 am
You keep your weed in there.
June 17, 2012 at 9:47 am
The rest of the bottles hold your shattered dreams of success.
June 17, 2012 at 9:52 am
No no, you keep your extra money in there for when your drunken frat brother falls through it and you have to pay for taking him to the hospital.
June 17, 2012 at 9:54 am
But you know they’d just end up stuffed with IOUs…
June 17, 2012 at 9:36 am
That is just classy as FUCK.
June 17, 2012 at 11:26 am
‘Specially the wooden part… looks like it may have been a pallet in its previous incarnation.
June 17, 2012 at 11:31 am
My guess is that this dude buys Jack Daniels by the pallet load.
June 17, 2012 at 12:18 pm
I worked with a dame once upon a time that had a standing order with the wine store that was delivered to her house every Thursday afternoon. She even drank so much during a lunch meeting once that she had to have someone drive her home to wait for it because she wasn’t capable. After that she gave the delivery guy a key.
She may have been a drunk, but at least she was a responsible one.
June 17, 2012 at 4:20 pm
I would just like to state that I love the fact that you used the word “dame”. It’s so under-utilized in this day and age.
June 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm
I second that emotion.
June 18, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Yes, but they forgot to include the word “classy”.
June 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm
They are only giving it away because CPS is making a home visit. The last visit didn’t go well after they saw the Absolut accent lamps and baby rattle made from an old bong.
June 17, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Only reason it rattles is ’cause a couple of xanax got stuck in there.
June 17, 2012 at 9:37 am
Frat house chic! Coming next time on Martha Stewart Living.
June 17, 2012 at 9:54 am
Next Week: How to make a bong out of all those empty beer cans!
June 17, 2012 at 9:37 am
It’s strange how often I run into Craigslist ads with a higher asking price in the description than the price that’s shown in the title. Was there some ‘standard Craigslist practice’ update I missed that sanctioned this?
June 17, 2012 at 10:37 am
Was there some ‘standard Craigslist practice’ update I missed that sanctioned this?
“Drink heavily before posting”?
Oh wait. That’s the ‘standard Regretsy practice’. Never mind.
June 17, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Standard Craigslist practice? Nah, it’s the old bait and switch practice.
June 17, 2012 at 4:14 pm
That’s when you switch hands so you don’t tire one arm out, right?
June 17, 2012 at 9:37 am
Replace all the bottle caps with nipples for a really special effect. And a CPS visit.
June 17, 2012 at 9:38 am
An alcoholic’s dream table.
June 17, 2012 at 9:39 am
It would be much better if they were all stuffed with Christmas lights.
June 17, 2012 at 9:39 am
As I am looking at renting a actual house soon, I am facing a war between two parts of my Psyche upon viewing this item:
College me: Dude, that is badass!
Nerd me: Needs more Tardis’
Of course, both points are rendered moot by my girlfriend who would say: “Buy that and I leave.”
June 17, 2012 at 10:02 am
Note the flower vase on the floor, the women’s shoes, throw pillows, and hair band on the floor. This is a young man’s treasured artwork being evicted by the new lady of the house. Pour one out for his youth.
June 17, 2012 at 10:10 am
I’m being reminded of that bit in When Harry Met Sally about the wagonwheel coffee table.
June 17, 2012 at 10:18 am
What’s next to be evicted? His Jenny McCarthy Bud Light posters?
June 17, 2012 at 11:41 am
Dear God! Not the Corona Christmas lights!
June 17, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Reminds me of my garage sale experience yesterday. I scored a Boba Fett bobble head off a guy who’s wife kept hovering and giving me cheaper prices… I think I bought a piece of his soul for $3
June 17, 2012 at 4:15 pm
I hear those posters can cause autism.
June 17, 2012 at 9:40 am
Looks like Slash must be moving out of the area.
June 17, 2012 at 9:42 am
Truly a master of “upcycling”. I’m guessing it’s “mid century modern”?
June 17, 2012 at 9:43 am
Judging by the fact that it comes from Santa Monica, I’m guessing “Shit that washed up on the beach.”
June 17, 2012 at 9:46 am
When I read the description, I did a double take: I was like, “YOU MADE THAT YOURSELF???” I thought I saw the same thing over at Pottery Barn.
June 17, 2012 at 9:53 am
Don’t you try to blame the Fukushima tsunami for this one, D.P.! Haven’t those poor people suffered enough?
June 17, 2012 at 9:57 am
I’ll meet you halfway and say that their livers have.
June 17, 2012 at 9:44 am
Is this from the Whiskey A No-NO?
June 17, 2012 at 9:44 am
Throw in a couple of pizza box side tables and we’ve got ourselves a deal there, honcho.
June 17, 2012 at 9:51 am
Idea: B+
Execution: F
June 17, 2012 at 10:08 am
The thing that bothers me most about it is that the bottles aren’t in a perfect circle, but the glass top is. *twitch*
June 17, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I find myself more bothered by the fact that the bottles are so unevenly placed than by the fact that it’s a table made of Jack Daniels bottles. If you’re going to do a thing, do it right, damn it.
June 17, 2012 at 9:51 am
The design obviously utilizes the “Golden Ratio”, hence it’s total and complete success as a balanced, harmonious piece.
June 17, 2012 at 11:26 am
Sorry, the Jose Cuervo Especial Gold table is for the foyer.
June 17, 2012 at 11:28 am
Where the fuck are my manners…
I shouldn’t have gone to finishing school in Cancun.
June 17, 2012 at 9:56 am
It’s almost always better to wait until you’ve sobered up before you undertake projects you came up with while drunk. Exception: karaoke.
June 17, 2012 at 9:59 am
Other exception: Open heart surgery.
June 17, 2012 at 10:00 am
Getting or giving?
June 17, 2012 at 10:06 am
Both, I would guess.
June 17, 2012 at 4:18 pm
At the same time? Is this some kind-of “open heart surgery 69″ going on?
June 18, 2012 at 8:19 am
Is there any other way to do open heart surgery? 69 keeps the chi focused, and the blood pumping.
June 17, 2012 at 4:24 pm
The kneebone’s connected to the…something. The something’s connected to the…red thing. The red thing’s connected to my wrist watch…Uh oh. /Dr. Nick
June 17, 2012 at 9:59 am
They were still drunk when they took the pictures! It’s called “kick all the extraneous shit out of the shot”.
June 17, 2012 at 10:01 am
All I can think of is how many wasps (or teenagers) this will attract in summer. It’s altogether too optimistic to assume that the etsy madmen know how to properly wash a bottle out.
June 17, 2012 at 10:04 am
I stand corrected: not etsy madmen; craigslist madmen. Which is somehow even worse. I just assume that everything on craigslist has been rubbed on someone’s genitals at some point.
June 17, 2012 at 10:37 am
I thought it was Craig’s genitals and that’s why it’s called that. Craig’s a busy guy.
June 17, 2012 at 10:04 am
Is that glass thick enough to handle nightly games of “Quarters” and “Asshole”?
June 17, 2012 at 10:15 am
The best part is that they were savvy enough to remove everything from the table before taking photos, but too stupid to realize that we can see all that crap on the floor and couch in the background. Klassy.
June 17, 2012 at 10:17 am
I can’t tell if this is on Regretsy because it’s good or bad.
Regardless, I need it in my living room right exactly now.
June 17, 2012 at 10:30 am
It’s best not to think too hard about it. Just buy it immediately for $50 or $75. Or you could probably just trade some Marlboro Miles for it.
June 17, 2012 at 8:31 pm
Not gonna lie, Matt, this made me do an Amadeus laugh.
June 18, 2012 at 5:03 am
Thank you, raeannabanana.
June 17, 2012 at 10:20 am
So is it $50 (title) or $75 (description)?
June 17, 2012 at 10:22 am
The whiskey bottle table says “dumbass”, but the oriental rug and hardwood floors say “trust fund”.
June 17, 2012 at 10:30 am
Nah. You can buy cheap rugs like that outside gas stations in LA. It probably cost $35.
June 17, 2012 at 10:32 am
Mexico’s part of the Orient, right?
June 17, 2012 at 10:41 am
If you’re Mitt Romney, yes.
June 17, 2012 at 10:40 am
The table’s design is called “The Shame Spiral”.
June 17, 2012 at 10:57 am
Omg.. I would buy that for my husbands Man cave if it was local. His only drink is JD and coke.
June 17, 2012 at 12:00 pm
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June 18, 2012 at 6:59 am
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June 18, 2012 at 11:29 am
Lohan? Just goes to show how out of the loop I am. When I saw Lilo, I thought you were referring to “Lilo and Stitch” and considered downvoting you.
June 17, 2012 at 12:31 pm
I ‘m pretty sure that $50 wouldn’t even cover a 40 pounder of JD here. How many could you buy in Santa Monica for $50? 3? 4? 5? There are a few reasons I go to the US every couple of weeks. Cheap, illegal booze is one of them. I guess that’s why i’m so out of touch with “Canadian” liquor prices. I will pay more for our beer here though. Our export is shit.
June 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm
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June 17, 2012 at 1:02 pm
At least it’s handmade
June 17, 2012 at 1:37 pm
This… this might be a win. I can’t tell.
Can I sample a full bottle while I think on it?
June 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm
This would be a great Father’s Day gift for my dad. Too bad we live on the other side of the country.
June 17, 2012 at 1:54 pm
somebody was thirsty
June 17, 2012 at 3:17 pm
At least you’ll never run out of Moltov cocktail receptacles. Well, depending on your frequency of use.
June 17, 2012 at 5:38 pm
These are much better presented in the design and execution.
June 18, 2012 at 5:53 am
There is a bar near my house that has these in both JD bottles and Corona bottles.
June 17, 2012 at 6:00 pm
When are you picking it up?
June 17, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Is it just my eyes or did they not dust the table before they took the picture?
June 17, 2012 at 8:36 pm
With all my empties, I could make a house full of Jager bottle furniture.
June 17, 2012 at 8:40 pm
I don’t care what it looks like, it still had to be WAAAYY more fun than making tampon jewelry or chewing gum doilies.
June 18, 2012 at 8:22 am
I scanned that comment quickly. Unfortunately, “tampon chewing gum” is what sprung out at me.
June 17, 2012 at 8:44 pm
this isn’t so much “made of” jack daniels, as it is “supported by” jack daniels. i was highly disappointed in the final product. a little more creativity, please!
June 17, 2012 at 11:20 pm
So, more like a real wino curled up asleep on your floor to support a glass tabletop with “What’s the word/Thunderbird!/etc.” etched around the perimeter?
July 2, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Somewhere, there’s a frat house missing a coffee table and possibly boasting a very mournful looking goat in a tutu