Seven Great Etsy Stores I Never Bought Anything From
As you know, I buy a lot of jaw-dropping merchandise on Etsy, from quilts to lamps to things so special they cannot be described with human speech.
It’s difficult to manage so many objects, but we keep things in check by stringently adhering to three rules:
1. Do not allow collections to migrate (ie: no Spiderman figures in the bedroom)
2. Surround odd objects with sleek and neutral objects, so the eye has a place to rest
3. You can’t buy everything
It’s all good advice, but it’s really that last one that keeps the house from looking like the season finale of HOARDERS. Well, that and the paucity of dead cats in the living room.
And so I present, with infinite longing and regret, seven Etsy shops I love, and have yet to buy anything from.
1. Creative Pal
It’s hard to describe Paul Shapiro’s Etsy store. He’s inspired by old toys, baseball cards and Willie Wonka, and he makes amazing motion lamps (with or without sound). But for me, his best work is reproducing vintage in-store advertising like the motorized Slinky display above.
His store is on hiatus due to some personal issues, so I’ve linked some sold pieces that I wish I’d bought when I had the chance.
- Batman shadow lamp
- Laurie Partridge paper doll motion lamp
- Messenger From Mars vintage store display reproduction
2. The Art & Designs of Ron Guyatt & Indy Lytle
Ron Guyatt, a Canadian graphic artist, makes travel posters for places we’ll never see. He also has some amazing faux movie posters, as well as an assortment of pieces that will delight any gamer.
- If Stanley Kubrick made the Tetris Movie
- Portal poster
- Map of Isla Nublar
3. Jessica Alpern
Jessica first came to my attention last year, when she made a hand-cut paper map of Helsinki for this post (password: CF4L). It’s hard for me to believe that anyone has this kind of dexterity and control, but then, my hands shake trying to get the Pop Tarts out of the toaster. Of course, that could just be excitement.
- Playing in the sprinklers
- Dinosaur head
- Hey Honey
4. Musetap Studios
Wil Woods and Tyrine Carver turn out some of the wittiest art I’ve seen in a long time (the Deathstar Reflections print pictured above made me laugh so hard I cried). They affectionately deliver their backhanded valentines to every geek staple from Dr. Who to Star Wars, with a generous helping of X-Box and Marvel on the side.
- Art Nouveau Loki
- The Lion Gir
- Another Castle
5. Jewel Renee
Jewel Renee is not only extremely gifted, but incredibly generous. She has donated art to our fundraisers, and supported many of the people we’ve helped over the years through April’s Army sales and other projects. While her aquatic monsters are freaky and wonderful, she also does remarkably sensitive animal portraits and art for children.
- Custom pet portrait
- Mama and cubs
- Hellephants (inspired by this post)
6. Vandalized Vintage by Trixie Delicious
Trixie Delicious is a master of contrast and contradiction. She successfully mines humor from the unexpected juxtaposition of antique plates and harsh words, and the overall effect is enchanting. Or fucking enchanting, if you prefer.
- Vodka teacup
- Hardcore sweet tray
- Seven Deadly Sins set
7. The Gryllus
Cara Thayer and Louie Van Patten are two collaborative Oregon artists who paint side-by-side. They had me at Breaking Bad, but their subject matter runs the gamut from pop culture icons to color studies to nudes, with the occasional still-life thrown in just to kick your ass some more.
June 15, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Holy shit. “Another Castle” is so going to be my brother’s wedding present.
June 15, 2012 at 1:44 pm
“Paucity” – well, la-tee-da!
June 15, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Goatslinky!
June 15, 2012 at 1:48 pm
You…an etsy buyer? But…but I thought you were a stifler of all wondrous creative minds that bring us forth tin octopi, reusable tampons, and bulk bought ebay merchandise?
June 15, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Speaking of Chinese resellers and Ebay; has anyone here seen TopHatter.com? Facebook put it’s ad up because I mention Etsy.
It’s strange; it seems to be the place cupcake sniffers get their “floral cabochons” (aka: those plastic dahlia-things that rival the brass octopi in number) from sweat-shop-loving resellers. It’s a virtual auction.
What are your thoughts/experiences?
June 15, 2012 at 1:48 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/99654495/11×17-the-lonely-god
Oh, how I wish.
June 15, 2012 at 1:49 pm
It’s like cracked and regretsy had a wild one night stand and this is the resulting bastard child!
I’m so happy.
June 15, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Those are awesome! I wonder if “The Gryllus” does (do?) custom work?
June 16, 2012 at 3:21 pm
They do mention in their Omar Little write up: “If you like this piece, but want something a little different – send us a message! We love to do commissions and we can do something in the same medium for the same price – or something larger for a bit more.”
June 17, 2012 at 7:45 pm
Oooh! I know what I want for my birthday next month!
June 15, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Helen, you should do what the glitter cupcakes do on Etsy: have a featured seller profile. Only instead of the useless, beige sheep they usually choose, go with people that display an amazing skill set.
June 15, 2012 at 2:50 pm
HELL YES. This is a great idea! Complete with interview rich in coolness-of-genuine-handcraft/vintage and free of happy-clappy-cupcake-bullshit.
June 15, 2012 at 2:59 pm
Yes, it’s a great idea! Heck, Cake Wrecks does it every week, showing off the talent that can get forgotten underneath all the fuckery; I think you could do a great job of introducing us to new
ways to empty our bank accountwonderful talented sellers!June 15, 2012 at 4:56 pm
I do like the “Things I love” or “Awesome Purchase of the Week” posts (like this one)–it’s always a nice reminder that even though there’s lots of fuckery and cupcakes out there, there’s also some pretty badass stuff that I would love to own.
June 15, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Musetap is making me seriously regret being terminally buried by debt.
June 15, 2012 at 6:27 pm
I was thinking the same thing! I’m bookmarking that shop for future gift ideas. Also, my apartment has been lacking in wall decorations…..
Food is overrated!
June 15, 2012 at 1:55 pm
I bought three of Jewel Renee’s watercolors for my son’s room and they are GORGEOUS! I got them matted and framed and will post a picture once they’re hanging. She really does beautiful work.
June 15, 2012 at 2:22 pm
I’ve been collecting Hellephant pictures. They are just so damned cute that, just like she cannot resist creating more of them, I cannot resist buying more of them! I also need to get a pet portrait from her; she is so talented!
June 16, 2012 at 12:54 pm
I have a wall in my dining room dedicated to hellephants. I have a problem.
June 18, 2012 at 10:12 am
Yes, you do have a problem. You ave ONE wall in your dining room dedicated to Hellephants. Just one. (And I’m very jealous that you have a Wall o’ Hellephant!)
June 15, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Yay Jewel Renee! Love her!
June 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm
She did a froggy commission for me and I have to have ALL THE THINGS!
June 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm
And? OMG ONE OF THE SWEETEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET EVAR. With caps.
June 15, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Shut the truck up, froggy. Are you trying to ruin my reputation on the forums? Well, YOU ARE SWEET TOO! Take that.
June 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm
YAY YAY YAY!
June 15, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Thanks to Jewel Renee, I have a lovely snazzy new Cthulhu Hellephant iphone 4 cover from Zazzle. It’s AWESOMESY GOODNESS.
You rock, Jewel!
June 16, 2012 at 9:30 am
Jewel did an absolutely beautiful custom portrait of 2 of my cats. I still need to get her to do my other fur babies!
Not to mention she IS one of the sweetest people you will talk to!
June 16, 2012 at 11:18 am
I agree. I have about a wall’s worth of her stuff. I’d have more but sometimes I do have to buy food.
June 15, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I can’t even finish reading this before I start thinking “April! You bitch!” That Jurassic Park poster will be mine mo-fos! I think I deserve it!
Now the big decision… color or sepia?
June 15, 2012 at 2:23 pm
It’s either the Jurassic Park map or the Venus travel posters. Dammit, I wish I had more money!
June 15, 2012 at 2:51 pm
I want the Fifth Element poster kind of badly.
June 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm
I bought the color Isla Nublar map. I’m so freaking excited about it.
June 15, 2012 at 1:58 pm
I say HELLYES JewelRenee is talented & generous.
June 15, 2012 at 2:11 pm
I second that! She is truly awesome and her talent knows no bounds.
And she’s in the process of illustrating the first Hellephant book. She posted the opening picture (and offers it for sale in her shop), of Helly at the bathroom mirror. That little tush of his is the sweetest thing I’ve seen. I’m having a hard time waiting for the book. It’s going to be so wonderful.
In the meantime, I have a few small Helly’s and have ordered a half dozen more, mostly in her “Treasure Island” series. Squeeee!
June 15, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Wait… there’s a book soon? Guess it’s time to quit living under the rock.
June 15, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Get your preorder in before they are gone!
June 15, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Yes, please come preorder one and help me prove to my family that I’m not a total loser nut job. You should have seen my dad’s face when I tried to explain the hellephant. It was a mixture of confused and sad.
June 15, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Okay – I just ordered one of the books. SO CUTE!
June 15, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Thank you for supporting my delusions. I’m hoping to make a run of 100. If I do the printer will give me extras and I can pollute my favorite causes with them. Nothing livens up a silent auction or church raffle like Regretsy fan art.
June 16, 2012 at 5:14 am
I read that as “If I do the printer, he will give me extras…” and was thinking “Sexual favors for Regretsy swag?” I think I need to go back to bed and sleep a few more hours.
June 16, 2012 at 12:46 pm
You are right Charitable, Commas matter!
June 16, 2012 at 4:08 am
I was painting hellephant at my church one day (we do ‘creative worship’) when the teaching was on ‘hope’. I got some very confused looks, until I explained that painting Hellephant makes me happy, and he is the very epitome of hope!
A one-eared, previously loved toy (ie – junk) being sold instead of trashed, has a new lease on life and becomes a beloved mascot of a bizarre internet group comprised of sarcastic, bitter FJLs.
The dawning light of comprehension across their faces was wonderful to see. Helly has a new little fan club there now
Hell Yes, If you’re a nut job, that makes me the cashew canning factory
June 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Just ordered one too! I need to counter my nephew’s religious indoctrination somehow. This seems appropriate.
June 15, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Awesome stuff, I’m in love with all of it, especially the raunchy china:) I can’t wait for the flouncing to begin on the Deathstar Reflections pic though. Swami sees much butthurt in the immediate future!
June 16, 2012 at 8:36 am
Yes. The Butthurt is strong in that one.
June 15, 2012 at 2:02 pm
I must own GIR print!
June 15, 2012 at 3:37 pm
Me, too! I will put it with my GIR amigurumi I made. (GIR likes to sneak into my husband’s suitcase when he travels) I miss when Nickelodeon used to make awesome cartoons.
June 15, 2012 at 6:09 pm
Got 2. Now I know what my sister is getting for Christmas. 2 people off the gift list, and it’s only June. Awesome.
I continue to look to Regretsy for gifts to commemorate this most sacred of over-commercialized holidays.
June 15, 2012 at 9:06 pm
I need this so hard I can’t even stand it!
June 15, 2012 at 2:13 pm
The Gryllus’s painting of Peg Bundy is my absolute favorite. That hair…
June 15, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Want the Vodka and Tequila teacups so bad, but as I keep telling my grandmother, delicate gold-trimmed china just pisses me off. Anyone want to buy the real things after I take a photo and decoupage it to my kitchen cabinets?
Oh wait, no way in hell am I shipping those things either.
June 15, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I now have 4 new favorite items I can scheme how to budget for. Thanks a lot.
June 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm
No kidding. I’m sitting at my computer going “I want that. And I want that. Ooh! And I really want that.” Then I look at my bank account. Then I cry.
June 15, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Oh, Goddamnit. I
wantNEED The Gryllus’ Elliott Smith portrait!http://www.etsy.com/listing/101118163/elliott-smith-in-ink-and-paint-on-panel
June 15, 2012 at 2:28 pm
I’d buy the Omar Little painting for a friend’s house warming in a heartbeat if I had $210 or if they did prints.
June 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Yay! I love Jewel Renee’s paintings
June 15, 2012 at 2:31 pm
As a Geek – the Death Star Reflections is awesome – as a military wife – it leaves me also a bit conflicted – but hey – that’s what great art is supposed to do anyway – these are GREAT examples of how Etsy should work and should showcase more of instead of resellers and stupid fluff like feathers and sticks tied with twine. If I had unlimited funds these would all be things I would buy
http://www.wishuponahero.com/wishes/?id=1214187
June 15, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Is it really only $190 to send both boys to camp?
June 16, 2012 at 6:50 am
yes for 5 day day camp.
June 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm
It leaves me conflicted too, but it’s because I’m pretty sure Darth Vader wouldn’t give a shit about the nameless peons that have died for him. The guy chokes admirals to death, for crying out loud.
June 15, 2012 at 6:25 pm
Weren’t they all clones? Would it just be one name over & over with a number?
June 16, 2012 at 6:49 am
Because I am a good geek mom and am warping my children correctly – I can tell you from watching The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network that they all actually have been given their own nicknames – at least the main characters like Rex, Cut and Slick
June 16, 2012 at 10:48 am
Actually Clone Wars clone troopers and Stormtroopers weren’t all the same clones. Stormtroopers also included other cloned people as well as “normal” soldiers in the armor. I argued with Wil over the technicalities over that image when he first debuted it buuuut we Star Wars nerds generally lose out to pop culture.
June 16, 2012 at 12:27 pm
LOL
June 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Yes, as the wife of a Vietnam vet who just Does Not Get Regretsy — or most geekery, for that matter — I think it’s safest for me to enjoy the Death Star Reflections online and perhaps not try to hang it on the wall at home. Some things just aren’t really explainable, and best not to even try.
June 15, 2012 at 2:33 pm
I love Paul Shapiro’s descriptions of his items; he puts a lot of his passion into them. That’s what Etsy should be about; people being obsessed enough to make something out of it for someone else to covet.
June 15, 2012 at 2:43 pm
Score! The Seven Deadly Sins floral plate set are now mine! I can’t wait to serve tea sandwiches off these bitches. “Oh what is that gluttony…you want some more?”
June 15, 2012 at 2:44 pm
*is now mine!* All this vodka certainly didn’t help my grammar.
June 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm
That’s wonderful!!! I’m so very (*cough*) very happy for you!!!
*Bites tongue not to curse a blue streak that Hellkitten bought the set. Keeps telling self, “Be nice, ask nicely, or she won’t tell you. Don’t
makefinish voodoo doll of Hellkitten*If you don’t mind my asking, and assuming that Trixie Delicious may make another set, how much money should I be putting aside for that set?
June 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Why thank you! I assumed they would look lovely next to my latch hook pirate ship wall hanging. But go ahead and put that voodoo doll away because when I showed my completely unreasonable husband my awesome purchase he swore he would move out if they moved in. I’m in talks with the seller to see if I can exchange the plates for some of her other items…long story short they most likely up for grabs. The cost was $140 plus $17 shipping. I’ll let you know if I end up with them maybe I can just pass them on to you.
June 18, 2012 at 9:40 am
Voodoo doll put away. Doll-to-bring-me-extra-cash-so-I-can-afford-them taken out.
Good luck!
June 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm
NOOOO!! I’m a little bit fatter and jealouser now.
June 15, 2012 at 2:51 pm
I’m super glad you included trixiedelicious, by the way. I had this one in my favorites forever: https://www.etsy.com/transaction/81057170?transaction_id=81057170
June 15, 2012 at 2:52 pm
I just got 2 prints I bought from Jewel Renee in the mail yesterday and they are STUNNING!
June 15, 2012 at 2:59 pm
Yeah, so I’m totally buying that Turret poster in another tab as I type this.
June 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm
Another Jewel Renee plug: She did the design for my wedding invitations, and they are lovely.
June 15, 2012 at 3:20 pm
Just spent an hour in steotch’s etsy shop. Wow, just wow.
June 15, 2012 at 4:57 pm
I love her.
I also bought these:
http://www.etsy.com/transaction/41005226
http://www.etsy.com/transaction/41005227
http://www.etsy.com/transaction/41005228
June 15, 2012 at 8:23 pm
…ooh and Gollum!
Add in the Judge and you’re sitting on the largest Steotch collection in the world.
Your home is like the Ghetto Getty Center. The “Ghetty”.
Love you back, beotch. ~ S
June 16, 2012 at 10:54 am
The Ghetty! Holy shit, that’s what I’m calling my house from now on.
June 16, 2012 at 10:55 am
I forgot Gollum!
http://www.regretsy.com/2011/03/10/give-me-the-precious/
June 15, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Oh wow! Now I really want to try making paper cut out silhouettes! Does anyone know how she preserved them in glass?
June 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm
However she does it, the results are stunning!
June 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm
I thought her descriptions said she used vellum to preserve the silhouettes.
June 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Oh. Ew.
I guess I was more wondering about the, “Float mounting on plexi-glass” instead.
June 17, 2012 at 8:00 pm
Hahaha! Don’t worry it’s paper vellum, like rice paper. I just saw this post a moment ago. How exciting to be on Regretsy! I have always feared it might happen…I’m gonna pour myself a drink.
June 15, 2012 at 3:38 pm
I’d like to share a shop belonging to someone who does beautiful work. She doesn’t have many sales, and I haven’t yet bought anything, though I would like most of it. It’s incredibly intricate, hand-made jewelry.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Ksemi?ref=seller_info
June 15, 2012 at 4:12 pm
I am in love with Jessica Alpern’s dinosaur skull papercut. It hangs proudly in my living room. I’m hoping she’ll expand the selection of dinosaur skulls so I can have a wall covered in prehistoric goodness.
And of course I’ve got a huge crush on Jewel Renee and her ocean prints. The leafy sea dragon is amazing and her prints are absolutely stunning.
I’ve already decided to send Guyatt my next paycheck because those travel posters make me swoon.
June 15, 2012 at 4:44 pm
The leafy sea dragon is one of the ones I bought, as well as the sea horses and the sea turtle. They’re all amazing.
June 15, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Love to see Toledo artists getting their props, and here is another one I think you guys may like if jewel is your style
http://www.jpopstudios.com/
June 15, 2012 at 7:46 pm
I love Jenny’s work! She’s fantastic! I hope she’s at the Botanical Garden again this year.
June 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm
I desperately need the Slut/Whore teacup set for when I have those special visitors!
June 15, 2012 at 5:34 pm
My church has a ladies tea every year. I kinda want to buy these and use them on my table. I think it would create quite a stir!
June 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm
OH, I need these! Yes, Yes, I do.
June 15, 2012 at 9:33 pm
I would buy these up SO fast if there was a third one that said “Hooker” because my two friends and I call each other “Slut,” “Whore,” and “Hooker.” You know… cause we love one another.
June 18, 2012 at 9:45 am
Maybe you can request a custom order?
June 16, 2012 at 7:18 am
too funny – could you imagine pulling those out the next time your MIL asked for a cup of coffee at your house
June 18, 2012 at 10:09 am
On the upside, it could be the LAST time your MIL asked for a cup of anything at your house.
June 15, 2012 at 6:09 pm
These artists prove that there IS hope for the World yet!
June 15, 2012 at 7:40 pm
I’m so excited to see jewel Renee on this list! She did this portrait of my kiddos
https://www.etsy.com/transaction/81196662
And I proudly display several hellephant prints in my home.
June 15, 2012 at 7:48 pm
I also meant to say that helly is one of the most generous people I have the pleasure to “know”. She is always right there when someone needs help, and her reverse raffles are a lot of fun.
June 15, 2012 at 9:44 pm
Your kids are gorgeous. It was like being handed a Macy*s ad and having someone say “Hey, I’ll pay you to draw this.” <3
June 15, 2012 at 8:11 pm
How did Etsy screw up & put something good (the hand cut paper) on the front page? I guess even a broken clock is right twice a day.
And LOVE the slut/whore teacups!!
June 15, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Just for that, I’m putting some Spidey figures in the bedroom now.
June 15, 2012 at 9:45 pm
Oh no you’re not. It’s a rule.
June 16, 2012 at 7:20 am
My friend had some of his DC Comic character spillage in his bathroom – its intimidating to pee with Green Lantern staring you down though
June 15, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Travel Posters for Fat Jealous Losers
June 16, 2012 at 5:35 am
Those are awesome.
June 15, 2012 at 9:42 pm
I seriously need the Louis CK portrait.
June 15, 2012 at 10:25 pm
I just got my two prints from JewelRenee in the mail today! I got the sea turtle and the jellyfish. They’re getting matted and put in my bathroom, so that I can contemplate their finer points while creating the next WMD in its porcelain housing.
AKA I like them a lot.
June 16, 2012 at 12:50 pm
I’m glad they inspire you.
June 15, 2012 at 10:45 pm
I pre-ordered a copy of “Hellaphant Has a Day,’ despite having no small children or grandchildren.
And the ‘Playing in the Sprinkler’ silhouette is gorgeous. Then I read the description and discovered she’d CUT IT OUT OF A FUCKING PAINT CHIP! I can’t cut a straight line if someone draws me one with a ruler, and she can do tiny, intricate silhouettes on paint chips!
Excuse me; I have to go drown my FJL sorrow in some ice cream.
June 15, 2012 at 10:52 pm
Oh yay, Trixie! I’ve seen her work in person quite a few times at a local indie craft market and admired it greatly.
June 16, 2012 at 7:19 am
How did you know I collect teacups with obscene things on them?
June 16, 2012 at 10:46 am
Wil and Tyrine from Musetap are two of my best artist friends. What’s in their Etsy store isn’t even a wink of all the crazy things they’ve done.
June 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm
I don’t even watch Breaking Bad and I want this. Byran Cranston is hot.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/89179356/walter-white-from-breaking-bad-5-ink-and
June 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm
I just made an account with etsy to buy Hey Honey from Jessica Alpern. Too pretty to pass up!
June 16, 2012 at 7:37 pm
The tea cups and china are brilliant!
and for the 73rd time in my life I’ve wondered, why haven’t I come up with something like that?
June 18, 2012 at 11:00 am
Anyone know what the price range is on Creative Pal’s lamps? I’m obsessed!
July 11, 2012 at 12:34 am
I’m so sending that ‘Shithead” plate as my ex’s wedding gift!