King Henry I is said to have died from eating “a surfeit of lampreys.” He had a fatal fondness for lamprey pie, which was usually a special occasion feed. That’s like eating paté and tiramisu every day.
to be fair, it wasn’t the lamprey. It was the medicine given to cure the constipation, which led to him being one of many glorious kings gloriously ending their lives in the loo.
I still want to know what project the GWB head was intended for originally. I’m tempted to imagine a zombie from The Walking Dead gnawing forlornly on it and finding it lacks nourishment.
I’ve met him a couple times. He giggles. He’s like this gnome/Santa Clause guy who writes books that are nothing but food and sex. Really nice guy, though. Still depressed I couldn’t make it to the last signing I wanted to go to.
my friend and I saw that book in the store, and stole the recipe for honey cakes out of it. They’re actually surprisingly good–scratch that, of course they’re good, George Martin wrote them into being. Duh.
Those quail pot pies might look delicious, but lead to increased fertility and offspring. They can also cause the unfortunate side-effect of horrible acne; However, the quince dessert pies may counter this effect.
This book far surpasses all my other cookbooks for my purposes (looking at pictures of food and reminding myself I really ought to get around to cleaning off enough kitchen counter to get to the toaster oven again someday, and maybe even the stove.
However, its motivational effectiveness has just been undermined by the fact that I now know HK’s Amazon identity and can review-stalk her. So that’ll be another week or two of frozen dinners.
I have a ‘free sample’ of the Harry Potter cookbook on my Kindle. I always got hungry when I read about the feasts in the books. A friend of mine tried to make butterbeer once but it turned out disgusting.
I used to want the Narnia cookbook even though I didn’t actually think the food sounded very appetizing in the books, well except for Turkish Delight, until I found out what that actually was. Yuck. The book was out of print though so I was never able to get it.
I love Turkish delight (lokum). If you like Japanese ginger candy and/or soft gummies, you might like it. Go for the nut or lemon flavor before the rose or mint.
I used to have the Nancy Drew cookbook! It didn’t look like that, it was a hardbound book that looked like the rest of ‘em, but it was the same recipes.
The only thing I remember ever trying to make was the fortune cookies.
(I think they turned out “ok as cookies but nothing remotely like a fortune cookie.” Ooh, wait, I think there was a chocolate shortbread recipe in there too, made that. Yay cookies!)
The Two Fat Ladies made a version of a roman mustard straight from a Roman cookbook in one of their episodes. They served it over green beans. It looked wonderful, grainy and delicious! It was also very easy to make.
Lamprey pies are still served to British royalty on special occasions like the Queen’s recent Jubilee. That may have been what sent poor Prince Philip to the hospital.
Checked out the images link. Somebody REALLY likes Sansa Salad. And that somebody really needs to get their pipes checked. I’m not a doctor, but the color’s off, dude.
No, if they were for Dune-themed baby showers, they would be cupcakes or mini puddings swirled with cinnamon and nutmeg with the shai’hulud made out of modeling chocolate, popping up out of a patch of cookie crumbs and cinnamon. The perfect treats to go with baby’s first stilsuit!
I may have though about this a little too thoroughly…
Yeah, that makes sense. I really love cooking for others… If family and/or friends are coming over, expect a glorious feast. And I’ll even cook nice stuff when it’s just me, but I really hate the clean up (and I loathe a messy kitchen.) So a lot of times it’s just cereal (Or something equally easy) for dinner.
We had a season premiere party for the last season and I made a lot of things from Inn At The Crossroads. It was pretty tasty. We got my sister-in-law to eat goat, so that was pretty cool. Also, these are tasty as hell and I could not stop eating them. http://www.innatthecrossroads.com/2012/03/22/stuffed-green-peppers/
I love goat too! And lamb. But seriously, goat is my favorite meat. My SIL eats McDonalds, and nothing interesting at all, so it was pretty crazy that she stepped out of her box to try goat.
your lamprey pie image is almost as unappetizing as how i pictured them in my mind while reading the book…it’s funny, other than roast boar and lemon cakes, I really haven’t found myself pining for the foods of westeros…
I’ve actually eaten something that is probably really similar to that when I was in Japan. Instead of honey they were sweetened with soy sauce and miran. (Which is good, because I fucking hate honey.) Also, even though they told me I was eating locusts, they actually looked more like grasshoppers to me.
I also ate salty crickets in an Oaxacan Restaurant once. Bugs of all kinds are apparently standard food in Oaxaca.
Inn at the Crossroads is a great blog (I didn’t realize GRRM spent so much time describing so many meals!). I’d um… not be worried about lampreys in any pie Wyman Manderly served.
April likes Pat Boone! Seriously, when he was younger, that guy was a heartthrob. I found myself slowing down his shirtless scenes in Journey to the Center of the Earth… A LOT!
That is great! I was comptemplating picking up the unofficial one too.
Anyways, I already decided that for my baby shower I am totally making a jello heart and eat it in front of everyone using my wost of manners and only my bare hands, no utensils.
I still don’t know what to do with my wedding… There are so many ASoIaF weddings to choose from. Maybe this book will help me with planning the wedding feast, though.
Red wine is a must. And lots of red meat with red pickled beets, maybe? Strawberry-rhubarb pie. Bowls of red m&ms and a cherry slurpee machine for the tots. And, of course, red velvet cake.
I don’t want anyone getting killed at my wedding, though… I mean, I might get arrested… I mean, a Dothraki wedding without killing would be boring and a Red Wedding? Well, you guys know the rest…
Hilarious photos, but a little cruel to post them on Amazon where the various idiots of the net might think they’re actually from the cookbook, and be swayed not to buy it.
I’ve been following the girls’ blog for almost a year, and they really deserve all the success the book can bring them!
I get that you like their blog, but try not to lose perspective. There’s nothing cruel about sending hundreds of thousands of hits to an author’s Amazon page. They will sell a shitload of books today.
Wow, I had no idea you had that many followers! In that case, I certainly applaud your motivation, and I hope you’re right!
I’ve seen a couple of reviews that implied the book gave instructions on cooking Dragon Eggs (seriously?), rather than the fact that it’s a proper, researched cookbook.
Incidentally, the “Eat, Lamprey, Love” still has me giggling. Nicely ‘shopped.
Don’t watch TV, haven’t had time to read any of the last 20 years of GRRM, can’t even find a copy of Sandkings for my sweetheart, and I WANT THIS BOOK. Along with everything else of GRRM’s except himself. But I’d cook dinner for him. I already make a mean Ugly Fish with Leeks.
Does anyone who has a pulse NOT want to taste Daenerys Targaryen’s honeyfingers? Actually, even the wights would probably want a piece of that, and they have no pulse, so there you go.
I have to admit it took me a moment then to realize they were still talking about food. I was all “Well, that’s an interesting euphemism” followed by “Wait…”
Those books are filled with descriptions of meat juice dripping down the stubbly chin of an old toothless man, while he fondles a wench who has greyscale…i’ll have seconds, please!
Oh my god! I took a how-to-use-etsy class given by paul shapiro! he was such a funny and amazing guy. He had these lamps shaped like a stripper’s torso with nipple tassle on off switches, the breast part was that the group he was teaching was (other than me) all women over 50 xD
June 15, 2012 at 9:34 am
Is George Bush’s head on the menu?
June 15, 2012 at 9:39 am
Sure hope so!
June 15, 2012 at 9:59 am
And now the non-Bowdlerized DVD set will be rare collectibles.
Makes me wish I woulda bought it.
June 15, 2012 at 9:59 am
It’s chock full of heady goodness.
June 15, 2012 at 11:54 am
Ugh speaking of which: Did you see the lamprey pies on Amazon?
June 15, 2012 at 1:06 pm
King Henry I is said to have died from eating “a surfeit of lampreys.” He had a fatal fondness for lamprey pie, which was usually a special occasion feed. That’s like eating paté and tiramisu every day.
July 2, 2012 at 5:32 pm
to be fair, it wasn’t the lamprey. It was the medicine given to cure the constipation, which led to him being one of many glorious kings gloriously ending their lives in the loo.
June 15, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Head cake pops FTW.
June 15, 2012 at 1:52 pm
I still want to know what project the GWB head was intended for originally. I’m tempted to imagine a zombie from The Walking Dead gnawing forlornly on it and finding it lacks nourishment.
June 15, 2012 at 9:37 am
The books do have a truly preposterous number of descriptions of food stuffs, which, having seen pictures of GRRM, is kind of unsurprising.
June 15, 2012 at 5:48 pm
I’ve met him a couple times. He giggles. He’s like this gnome/Santa Clause guy who writes books that are nothing but food and sex. Really nice guy, though. Still depressed I couldn’t make it to the last signing I wanted to go to.
June 21, 2012 at 9:47 am
I’ve met him also, I was charmed by his smile and big blue eyes. Sigh-who knew? I have a pretty darn hot husband too!
June 15, 2012 at 9:37 am
“Ever wonder what it’s like to kiss a girl? This cookbook will keep you wondering”
June 15, 2012 at 9:55 am
Man, is that joke tired.
June 15, 2012 at 10:12 am
Thank you.
June 15, 2012 at 9:37 am
my friend and I saw that book in the store, and stole the recipe for honey cakes out of it. They’re actually surprisingly good–scratch that, of course they’re good, George Martin wrote them into being. Duh.
June 15, 2012 at 9:39 am
“Ever wonder which game-meat will eradicate acne?”
June 15, 2012 at 10:02 am
Dove, of course.
June 15, 2012 at 10:09 am
i will try anything to get rid of my fjl acne.
June 15, 2012 at 11:43 am
It’s obviously NOT quail.
Those quail pot pies might look delicious, but lead to increased fertility and offspring. They can also cause the unfortunate side-effect of horrible acne; However, the quince dessert pies may counter this effect.
June 15, 2012 at 9:40 am
This book far surpasses all my other cookbooks for my purposes (looking at pictures of food and reminding myself I really ought to get around to cleaning off enough kitchen counter to get to the toaster oven again someday, and maybe even the stove.
However, its motivational effectiveness has just been undermined by the fact that I now know HK’s Amazon identity and can review-stalk her. So that’ll be another week or two of frozen dinners.
June 15, 2012 at 9:47 am
*sigh* I’m sorry, I just have to add:
)
Thank you. I feel better now.
June 15, 2012 at 10:22 am
I was pretty sneaky with my user name.
June 15, 2012 at 10:43 am
Oh, I do hope you add more reviews and lists and whatnot over there. This was hilarious: Vanity Projects by Ten Delusional Celebrities
June 15, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Pants-crappingly funny yet indispensable!
June 15, 2012 at 11:47 am
http://www.amazon.com/Fictional-Food-Bibliophiles-List-Cookbooks/lm/R3ZNK3UHVYA9G
I like number 15: The Nancy Drew Cookbook: Clues to Good Cooking
I didn’t see the Harry Potter cookbook so I assume the list is incomplete.
June 15, 2012 at 12:31 pm
I have the Jane Austen Cookbook.
Off to find the period-appropriate kitchen appliances (orphans)and Ingredients (40% cow poop milk).
June 15, 2012 at 1:14 pm
Harry Potter cookbook:
Page 1: House Elves will hook you up.
The End.
June 15, 2012 at 7:26 pm
I have a ‘free sample’ of the Harry Potter cookbook on my Kindle. I always got hungry when I read about the feasts in the books. A friend of mine tried to make butterbeer once but it turned out disgusting.
I used to want the Narnia cookbook even though I didn’t actually think the food sounded very appetizing in the books, well except for Turkish Delight, until I found out what that actually was. Yuck. The book was out of print though so I was never able to get it.
June 15, 2012 at 9:09 pm
I love Turkish delight (lokum). If you like Japanese ginger candy and/or soft gummies, you might like it. Go for the nut or lemon flavor before the rose or mint.
June 15, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I used to have the Nancy Drew cookbook! It didn’t look like that, it was a hardbound book that looked like the rest of ‘em, but it was the same recipes.
The only thing I remember ever trying to make was the fortune cookies.
(I think they turned out “ok as cookies but nothing remotely like a fortune cookie.” Ooh, wait, I think there was a chocolate shortbread recipe in there too, made that. Yay cookies!)
June 15, 2012 at 9:40 am
It says it’s “in stock”. VERY surprising.
June 15, 2012 at 10:11 am
It makes sense to me. Broth doesn’t have the same mouthfeel.
June 15, 2012 at 9:41 am
I follow the folks who made that book. It’s called Inn at the Crossroads: http://www.innatthecrossroads.com/.
It’s pretty awesome. They do medieval versions and modern versions of the fictional food GRRM describes. It’s harder than you think.
June 15, 2012 at 9:46 am
Really interesting link. I like the idea of the Roman mustard.
June 15, 2012 at 10:41 am
The Two Fat Ladies made a version of a roman mustard straight from a Roman cookbook in one of their episodes. They served it over green beans. It looked wonderful, grainy and delicious! It was also very easy to make.
June 15, 2012 at 1:03 pm
I miss the Two Fat Ladies, I’ll have to see if I can find their show online.
June 15, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Cooking Channel has been showing them on the weekends in hour blocks.
June 15, 2012 at 1:39 pm
If it wasn’t for the DVD set I think I’d go insane. I’ve probably memorized every word on every disk.
June 18, 2012 at 7:57 pm
But surely Roman mustard would have to have garum in it?
June 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I kinda love that blog! Dying to try the modern honey cakes and chase down some diabetes
June 15, 2012 at 9:46 pm
Inn at the Crossroads is the best. I try not to read it when I’m hungry.
June 15, 2012 at 9:43 am
I love Hodor’s look on the packaging.
I really want to know what recipes with eel are in the book. If I never read the phrase “lamprey pie” again I’ll be happy.
June 15, 2012 at 9:57 am
Dissecting a lamprey was possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever done in my entire life, and I have given birth twice.
June 15, 2012 at 11:47 am
Lamprey pies are still served to British royalty on special occasions like the Queen’s recent Jubilee. That may have been what sent poor Prince Philip to the hospital.
June 15, 2012 at 9:49 am
June 15, 2012 at 10:08 am
…and may I suggest a Boones Farm Sun Peach Pink, um, March vintage, to go with your eel?
June 15, 2012 at 10:14 am
The wines of Dorne are sweetest, this is known.
June 15, 2012 at 10:32 am
Boones Farm: goes down smooth, pukes up fresh.
June 15, 2012 at 11:23 am
You win the internets for that insightful comment.
June 15, 2012 at 9:11 pm
As a teenager in the 70s, I had some experience with the Boones.
June 15, 2012 at 10:55 am
Mortica: “Wednesday, PLAY with your food.”
June 15, 2012 at 11:01 am
That just looks like spoiled gachkkk’k (I can’t spell Klingon food words for crap)
June 16, 2012 at 12:03 am
It’s baktag.
June 15, 2012 at 11:27 am
June 15, 2012 at 1:21 pm
“Cup o’ Puke, and cop a puke!
June 15, 2012 at 9:45 pm
Something is still alive in there.
June 15, 2012 at 9:50 am
Checked out the images link. Somebody REALLY likes Sansa Salad. And that somebody really needs to get their pipes checked. I’m not a doctor, but the color’s off, dude.
June 15, 2012 at 12:28 pm
He might have been punched in the nuts a few times beforehand.
June 15, 2012 at 9:52 am
Lamprey Pies – “The mouths are the best part”. April, you are the eel deal.
June 15, 2012 at 9:52 am
Finally I know just what to cook for 7 hungry LARPERS!
June 15, 2012 at 9:53 am
I love cookbooks.
Rarely cook, but I love cookbooks.
But I do have leeks growing in my veggie patch this year.
June 15, 2012 at 9:54 am
I love the Lamprey pie image you uploaded.
June 15, 2012 at 11:02 am
they look like baby sandworms… So cute!
June 15, 2012 at 9:14 pm
For Dune-themed baby showers?
June 15, 2012 at 9:47 pm
Is there any other kind?
June 15, 2012 at 10:14 pm
No, if they were for Dune-themed baby showers, they would be cupcakes or mini puddings swirled with cinnamon and nutmeg with the shai’hulud made out of modeling chocolate, popping up out of a patch of cookie crumbs and cinnamon. The perfect treats to go with baby’s first stilsuit!
I may have though about this a little too thoroughly…
June 15, 2012 at 9:56 am
I love cooking. I love feasts one might find in a high fantasy or renaissance festival type setting. I think I would love this book.
And if I ever watched TV, I have a feeling I’d like Game of Thrones too.
June 15, 2012 at 10:09 am
I love to cook — I hate to have to cook. So I usually don’t, if that makes sense.
June 15, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Yeah, that makes sense. I really love cooking for others… If family and/or friends are coming over, expect a glorious feast. And I’ll even cook nice stuff when it’s just me, but I really hate the clean up (and I loathe a messy kitchen.) So a lot of times it’s just cereal (Or something equally easy) for dinner.
June 15, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I hear ya. Cooking for a special event, or to try some strange new dish? Fun! Meal planning, not so much.
June 15, 2012 at 9:57 am
We had a season premiere party for the last season and I made a lot of things from Inn At The Crossroads. It was pretty tasty. We got my sister-in-law to eat goat, so that was pretty cool. Also, these are tasty as hell and I could not stop eating them. http://www.innatthecrossroads.com/2012/03/22/stuffed-green-peppers/
June 15, 2012 at 1:10 pm
I LOVE young goat. Not an easy thing to find in Southern California though. More typically I just buy lamb (Which tastes about the same, really.)
June 15, 2012 at 3:11 pm
I love goat too! And lamb. But seriously, goat is my favorite meat. My SIL eats McDonalds, and nothing interesting at all, so it was pretty crazy that she stepped out of her box to try goat.
June 15, 2012 at 10:00 am
Hot Pie can’t be a potpie, though, because he is too large to fit through the automat window.
June 15, 2012 at 10:01 am
I ordered this a few days back from BN and awaiting its arrival on Monday.
June 15, 2012 at 10:28 am
your lamprey pie image is almost as unappetizing as how i pictured them in my mind while reading the book…it’s funny, other than roast boar and lemon cakes, I really haven’t found myself pining for the foods of westeros…
June 15, 2012 at 11:42 am
Sure, but how about those honeyed locusts? There are more foods in Essos and Pentos, ebinard, than are dreamt of in your Westeros.
June 15, 2012 at 1:28 pm
I’ve actually eaten something that is probably really similar to that when I was in Japan. Instead of honey they were sweetened with soy sauce and miran. (Which is good, because I fucking hate honey.) Also, even though they told me I was eating locusts, they actually looked more like grasshoppers to me.
I also ate salty crickets in an Oaxacan Restaurant once. Bugs of all kinds are apparently standard food in Oaxaca.
June 15, 2012 at 10:42 am
When I was reading the books I definitely started to wish I could eat food from a place without anti-bacterial soap or toilet paper.
June 15, 2012 at 10:48 am
Inn at the Crossroads is a great blog (I didn’t realize GRRM spent so much time describing so many meals!). I’d um… not be worried about lampreys in any pie Wyman Manderly served.
June 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm
I’ve heard Manderly’s pies are to die for. Don’t be afreyed to be adventurous!
/death by pun
June 21, 2012 at 9:49 am
So few people caught that in the last book. I don’t think that recipe will ever make the cookbooks.
June 15, 2012 at 10:51 am
April likes Pat Boone! Seriously, when he was younger, that guy was a heartthrob. I found myself slowing down his shirtless scenes in Journey to the Center of the Earth… A LOT!
June 15, 2012 at 10:52 am
That is great! I was comptemplating picking up the unofficial one too.
Anyways, I already decided that for my baby shower I am totally making a jello heart and eat it in front of everyone using my wost of manners and only my bare hands, no utensils.
I still don’t know what to do with my wedding… There are so many ASoIaF weddings to choose from. Maybe this book will help me with planning the wedding feast, though.
June 15, 2012 at 11:01 am
Red wine is a must. And lots of red meat with red pickled beets, maybe? Strawberry-rhubarb pie. Bowls of red m&ms and a cherry slurpee machine for the tots. And, of course, red velvet cake.
June 15, 2012 at 11:12 am
why not keep going with the dothraki theme?
June 15, 2012 at 12:39 pm
I don’t want anyone getting killed at my wedding, though… I mean, I might get arrested… I mean, a Dothraki wedding without killing would be boring and a Red Wedding? Well, you guys know the rest…
June 15, 2012 at 10:55 am
Hilarious photos, but a little cruel to post them on Amazon where the various idiots of the net might think they’re actually from the cookbook, and be swayed not to buy it.
I’ve been following the girls’ blog for almost a year, and they really deserve all the success the book can bring them!
June 15, 2012 at 11:21 am
I get that you like their blog, but try not to lose perspective. There’s nothing cruel about sending hundreds of thousands of hits to an author’s Amazon page. They will sell a shitload of books today.
June 15, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Wow, I had no idea you had that many followers! In that case, I certainly applaud your motivation, and I hope you’re right!
I’ve seen a couple of reviews that implied the book gave instructions on cooking Dragon Eggs (seriously?), rather than the fact that it’s a proper, researched cookbook.
Incidentally, the “Eat, Lamprey, Love” still has me giggling. Nicely ‘shopped.
June 15, 2012 at 11:17 am
Psshh. It can’t hold a candle to The Joye Of Snacks.
June 15, 2012 at 9:45 pm
True. Westeros may have good food, but they don’t have the bananananana soup surprise.
June 15, 2012 at 11:35 am
Don’t watch TV, haven’t had time to read any of the last 20 years of GRRM, can’t even find a copy of Sandkings for my sweetheart, and I WANT THIS BOOK. Along with everything else of GRRM’s except himself. But I’d cook dinner for him. I already make a mean Ugly Fish with Leeks.
June 15, 2012 at 12:34 pm
http://www.amazon.com/SANDKINGS-George-R-Martin/dp/067165554X
June 15, 2012 at 11:58 am
Does anyone who has a pulse NOT want to taste Daenerys Targaryen’s honeyfingers? Actually, even the wights would probably want a piece of that, and they have no pulse, so there you go.
June 15, 2012 at 7:33 pm
I have to admit it took me a moment then to realize they were still talking about food. I was all “Well, that’s an interesting euphemism” followed by “Wait…”
June 15, 2012 at 9:51 pm
I’m confused. And aroused.
June 15, 2012 at 1:40 pm
I wonder if I’m the only Regretsian who has the Myra Breckinridge Cookbook.
June 15, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Those books are filled with descriptions of meat juice dripping down the stubbly chin of an old toothless man, while he fondles a wench who has greyscale…i’ll have seconds, please!
June 15, 2012 at 2:44 pm
I truly appreciate your Song of Ice and Fire obsession.
June 16, 2012 at 12:35 pm
I WANT THIS. I would buy it for my Kindle, but I want all the pretty pictures.
June 16, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Oh my god! I took a how-to-use-etsy class given by paul shapiro! he was such a funny and amazing guy. He had these lamps shaped like a stripper’s torso with nipple tassle on off switches, the breast part was that the group he was teaching was (other than me) all women over 50 xD