Screw that! that’s an open invitation to do the bump and grind on that person’s chest. While I do appreciate the delicate goldette chain along with the white blouse, that necklace has no holiday where it is okay to wear that to work. Except maybe to a bris. But then you can’t whoop it up, lay that person on the floor and sing “Get Down on it”
Also to prevent accusations of sexual misconduct. Teachers are only allowed side hugs (where I live, anyway), even if they teach little kids who run around hugging everyone. Telling my five-year-old that she can’t hug her teacher or wear a sleeveless dress is awkward, because the whole point is unsexifying a kid who’s too little to know what sexy means.
I thought it was playing “We are the Champions” in the background.
Then I realized I still had my music playing in iTunes…after I turned it off, it was much less awesome.
WHA???? I’m so confused…..how is it anti-semitism?? Isn’t it anti-circumcision??? That’s not the same thing….because non-semites circumcise as well. That’s like saying being anti-watermelon is racist against blacks….
Lots of fundamentalist Christians also circumcise (because it’s recommended in the Old Testament, mostly). When I was born my Dad rambled on for a couple of minutes about the importance of me being circumcised on the eighth day.
Then the nurses gently explained that I was a girl. Fortunately, he gave that up.
Well I’m anti-watermelon and I resent that anyone might believe we’re against blacks.
We just hate foods that say they’re a melon while not actually being a melon. We also hate they’re green rind and most of all their horrible black seeds.
Do blacks have green rinds?
Do blacks say they’re melons when they’re not?
Do blacks have black seeds? (Hopefully not. If they do they might want to seek medical attention)
No?
Well then why hate them?
They’re not watermelons!
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
June 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm
I think getoffmylawn is just trying to perpetuate the myth that Brits don’t circumsize. Ok, fine. Being of British of Britsh lineage, I’m forced to admit that it’s mostly true.
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
June 14, 2012 at 10:03 pm
I wasn’t really hating on Americans. I live less than an hour from the border and ‘visit’ every couple of weeks. My Dad has a business there and I’ve seen much of the country, at its best and worst.
…there was an uninformed, facetious (I hope) cheap shot made at the metric system. I just Hot Potatoed it right back.
I guess the cheap shots are only supposed to fly one way. That explains the horror of the Bush Era(s).
I saw the metric system joke. It was clearly a joke, where your post was worded like a well thought-out stab at Americans in general. I apologize for evidently reading your post the wrong way, but adding in totally unrelated remarks about our health care sounds more like you just being bitter than a reply to the metric system joke.
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
June 15, 2012 at 1:29 am
Don’t apologize for being an independent thinker! It was just a generalized comment about the pot calling the kettle black. Just because things have been done the same way for generations, doesn’t make it the right way, or the only way. Especially when the majority of (economically and politically) similar countries have adopted a different and some may argue, better, system of doing things and have been successful in doing so.
…I also find it mildly entertaining that Canada is the butt of many “jokes” here, but fsm forbid they come flying back the other way. I guess it’s difficult for me to understand how your system works from the outside looking in, much as I’m sure we’re viewed as evil socialists.
Mind you, I get a lot of customers at the fabric shop where I work who came to NZ from India, and they all think in yards and inches. So I guess India never got the memo about converting to metric.
Or they got it, and it’s still sitting on someone’s desk.
I’m at once relived and disappointed that my family never thought to rob and/or ‘murder’ each other when landing on a property we couldn’t afford. Oh, Mafia rules, you could’ve been so much fun.
It’s a pacifier for FJL’s. For those times when you know you really shouldn’t open your mouth. (Boy that sounded mean, was really meant to be funny, but fuck it.)
I know what you meant. I was talking to my mom about work the other day, and told her, “You know how it is. Some days it’s exhausting just keeping your mouth shut.” She laughed because I got my snark from her.
my uncle wore a phallic symbol (a fuchsia penis, to be exact) to my grandmothers funeral. we agree this one is much more tasteful and would have better suited the occasion.
I need more details.
Was his mom cruel about him being gay & he was showing her he could love dick all he wants? Is he an artist to whom it was just one of many controversial outfits? Is he super-duper-dumb and didn’t realise it was a dick?
My cousin actually DID catch a string of Mardi Gras beads with a plastic penis charm on it this year. All I managed to get was a string of rubber ducks. I would have preferred a string of rubber dicks. Oh well.
Ah, Mardi Gras and penis beads….I still remember how actually *normal* it seemed when the lady in the garage pay booth was wearing her strand of nice, large penis beads one year. Only in New Orleans.
You’d need a really big one for the center (I’m not Jewish, but I know there are nine candles/lights on a menorah and the center one is usually bigger or longer, but definitely NOT uncut).
I may be wrong… but I believe, from a SEO and marketing standpoint, it’s probably best NOT to use words like “Little” or “Small” or “Tiny” or “Minuscule” or “Microscopic”
Totally my thoughts too. I have a lot of thoughts in that vein, like, when Morrissey is writing song lyrics and then he’s like, “Hey guys, what if I just, like, yelped like a dying dog at this part?” And his band is like, “OMG Yeah! Great idea!!”
I saw this on a different site earlier in the week and I knew it would make its way here.
I’m hoping they can customize them… choose skin tone and maybe add a PA piercing on there to please the ladies??
What if you were being interviewed on national television about some horrible tragedy (earthquake, fire, etc)and you had that on? That would be awesome.
I want to buy two and wear them as earrings. They’re small enough that someone would have to lean in close to see what they are…and that would be THE most awkward moment ever.
If you buy two and send them to me I will mount them on SS stems with nothing behind them. They will look like little fleshy growths, until someone leans in, it will be awkward squared!
Because if you don’t make jewelry and I send this to you, I will expect a sternly worded message from Mrs. Fucker to the effect of “Stop enabling him! I’ve told everyone to stop sending him miniature penises and now I’m going to track you down and make you wish you were intractably mentally ill, because that would be the only way you’d avoid my wrath.”
Wow, you are truly possesed of an insight beyond your years. While I failed to consider the results of Mrs. Fucker finding out a woman mailed me genitalia, it didn’t get by you for a second. Where were you & your insight when I was 14 – 24? I could have really used it then.
The Gear Sconce is beautiful! Your posters are also gorgeous. I love the retro designs (when I visited Alcatraz I bought a few postcards just because of the 1940s look of them). What kind of paper are they on?
Spend some time in the archives. They can be thrilling and chilling.
(To answer your question, No. Bajingo is singular and boobs is plural. I don’t want to tell you everything, because discovering it all on your own can be so…so indescribable.)
Yeah, I’m new to posting here. I like it so far… I’m really fucking tired of etsy, especially the forums. This place is way less douchy and sickly sweet (“Your dangle earrings are SOOO fucking cute!” type shit), so it’s perfect for me. Plus, there are people here who are actually funny, so that’s a huge bonus.
We think you’re funny too!
Stick around; Regretsy ROCKS, and the comments sections are almost as funny as the posts, plus we learn loooots of things here. (OK sure, most of them are things that will scar and warp you, but that’s half the fun!)
You are so right – That piston bookshelf and the mixing bowl light have me lusting to shop. Those Etsy cupcakes should take a look at those for examples of recycling – no shit glued to shirt there!
I am, too. I saw someone mention beads with dicks further up the page and was all “WAAAAA, where do I find some?!”. Thank goodness for BillsBayou!
But bridal shower favors, website? BAH. I’d get a couple dozen, take ‘em to an anime convention and pass ‘em out amongst my fellow yaoi fans. Every one of my friends would wear it all weekend, which is probably why they’re my friends in the first place.
askmeaboutmyexplosivediarehea
June 14, 2012 at 12:18 pm
I would wear this everywhere including my office and mass. When the priest raises an eyebrow, I will simply say it isn’t very christ like to judge those with dicks around their necks.
So, how much extra do you think she’d charge to add some blue and a touch of fuzz to the balls for the sake of realism? Because, you know, if I’m wearing a dick around my neck, I’m not going to half-ass it.
I dunno, these are cute and all but I’d be much more interested in buying a tiny version of a big, veiny, glorious boner at full-salute. Then I could hang a necklace from my necklace.
The perfect gift for that person who agrees not to exchange gifts but then gives you one and leaves you running around or a bottle of wine or a regift for them. Once you give them this they’ll never gift you again.
June 14, 2012 at 9:39 am
Makes an awkward hug even more awkward. Is that a tiny rubber penis poking me in the sternum?
June 14, 2012 at 9:42 am
But it does make the Christian side hug easier: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Oj0-splZw
June 14, 2012 at 11:46 am
Screw that! that’s an open invitation to do the bump and grind on that person’s chest. While I do appreciate the delicate goldette chain along with the white blouse, that necklace has no holiday where it is okay to wear that to work. Except maybe to a bris. But then you can’t whoop it up, lay that person on the floor and sing “Get Down on it”
June 14, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Dafuq did I just watch!?
In the words of Hank Hill: “Don’t you realize you’re making rock and roll worse, not making Christianity better!” only replace rock and roll with rap…
Jesus…
June 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm
It was so disturbing. “I’m a ruff rider, filled up with Christ’s love…”
WTEverlastingFUCK??? Though, to be fair, rap has shitty lyrics that make no sense anyway….
Aren’t side hugs used for children who’ve been sexually abused???
June 14, 2012 at 7:27 pm
Or people you don’t really wan to hug-like Crazy Aunt Tillie who’s been sending you a doily every year for Christmas since you were 12.
June 14, 2012 at 10:58 pm
Also to prevent accusations of sexual misconduct. Teachers are only allowed side hugs (where I live, anyway), even if they teach little kids who run around hugging everyone. Telling my five-year-old that she can’t hug her teacher or wear a sleeveless dress is awkward, because the whole point is unsexifying a kid who’s too little to know what sexy means.
August 12, 2012 at 2:37 pm
I thought it was playing “We are the Champions” in the background.
Then I realized I still had my music playing in iTunes…after I turned it off, it was much less awesome.
June 14, 2012 at 11:11 am
So small you could prick yourself on it. Ouch.
June 14, 2012 at 9:39 am
I am so wearing that to my next job interview.
June 14, 2012 at 9:39 am
Wait, this thing is from England… where’s the foreskin?
June 14, 2012 at 9:43 am
I think you may have missed this.
June 14, 2012 at 9:55 am
The crafter uses foreshortened perspective.
June 14, 2012 at 10:01 am
Foreshortened is forearmed. Or short-armed. Or something.
June 14, 2012 at 10:20 am
I really think the crafter just forgot to check under the hood.
June 14, 2012 at 10:09 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm
The Jews lost the monopoly on circumcision loooooong before you were born. Unless you are *that* Jesus.
June 14, 2012 at 12:41 pm
WHA???? I’m so confused…..how is it anti-semitism?? Isn’t it anti-circumcision??? That’s not the same thing….because non-semites circumcise as well. That’s like saying being anti-watermelon is racist against blacks….
June 14, 2012 at 7:33 pm
Lots of fundamentalist Christians also circumcise (because it’s recommended in the Old Testament, mostly). When I was born my Dad rambled on for a couple of minutes about the importance of me being circumcised on the eighth day.
Then the nurses gently explained that I was a girl. Fortunately, he gave that up.
August 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm
Well I’m anti-watermelon and I resent that anyone might believe we’re against blacks.
We just hate foods that say they’re a melon while not actually being a melon. We also hate they’re green rind and most of all their horrible black seeds.
Do blacks have green rinds?
Do blacks say they’re melons when they’re not?
Do blacks have black seeds? (Hopefully not. If they do they might want to seek medical attention)
No?
Well then why hate them?
They’re not watermelons!
June 14, 2012 at 1:56 pm
This is what happens when you lose the Regretsy Drinking Game.
June 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm
That assumes that winning is even a possibility.
June 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Um. HK is jewish. I guess that means she has some self esteem issues? I’m not sure of the point you’re obviously not making here.
June 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm
I think getoffmylawn is just trying to perpetuate the myth that Brits don’t circumsize. Ok, fine. Being of British of Britsh lineage, I’m forced to admit that it’s mostly true.
June 15, 2012 at 7:48 am
You’re saying it like it’s a bad thing?
June 14, 2012 at 9:40 am
What do you mean “little?”
It looks about eight inches to me.
June 14, 2012 at 9:55 am
Shhh Royal Mail charges extra for larger packages.
June 14, 2012 at 11:01 am
You must go by the “Man” ruler…
June 14, 2012 at 11:36 am
What’s its size in metric?
June 14, 2012 at 12:33 pm
Oh 45 stone or some other bullshit measure
June 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm
…Ow. D:
June 14, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Crazy but true: The only countries in the world that haven’t officially adopted the metric system – Burma (Myanmar), Liberia and the United States.
You keep great company, my archaic American friends!
…not to mention that you’re the only country in the developed world without Universal Health Care (kinda).
Don’t get me wrong, I love the USA, but in a mentally challenged distant cousin kind of way.
I’ll just crawl under my leftist, American Hat now…
June 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Don’t hate on Americans just because you don’t like how our country is run. It’s not exactly our fault.
June 14, 2012 at 8:11 pm
I’m a rather disenfranchised, semi-poor, uninsured, disgruntled American Liberal Democrat. I can say nasty things about my country. It’s my right.
All others need to stfu.
June 14, 2012 at 10:03 pm
I wasn’t really hating on Americans. I live less than an hour from the border and ‘visit’ every couple of weeks. My Dad has a business there and I’ve seen much of the country, at its best and worst.
…there was an uninformed, facetious (I hope) cheap shot made at the metric system. I just Hot Potatoed it right back.
I guess the cheap shots are only supposed to fly one way. That explains the horror of the Bush Era(s).
June 14, 2012 at 10:54 pm
I saw the metric system joke. It was clearly a joke, where your post was worded like a well thought-out stab at Americans in general. I apologize for evidently reading your post the wrong way, but adding in totally unrelated remarks about our health care sounds more like you just being bitter than a reply to the metric system joke.
June 15, 2012 at 1:29 am
Don’t apologize for being an independent thinker! It was just a generalized comment about the pot calling the kettle black. Just because things have been done the same way for generations, doesn’t make it the right way, or the only way. Especially when the majority of (economically and politically) similar countries have adopted a different and some may argue, better, system of doing things and have been successful in doing so.
…I also find it mildly entertaining that Canada is the butt of many “jokes” here, but fsm forbid they come flying back the other way. I guess it’s difficult for me to understand how your system works from the outside looking in, much as I’m sure we’re viewed as evil socialists.
June 15, 2012 at 11:48 pm
Mind you, I get a lot of customers at the fabric shop where I work who came to NZ from India, and they all think in yards and inches. So I guess India never got the memo about converting to metric.
Or they got it, and it’s still sitting on someone’s desk.
June 14, 2012 at 11:59 am
That’s what I keep trying to tell Mrs. Fucker, but she don’t want to believe me.
June 14, 2012 at 11:33 pm
Hehehe, reminds me of this:
August 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm
How long have they been lying to you about size honey?
June 14, 2012 at 9:40 am
I guess thesis the alternative to having a guy’s balls in your purse
June 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm
That’s a weird thing to do your thesis on.
June 14, 2012 at 9:29 pm
Weird maybe, but think of all the fun opportunities for research!!
June 14, 2012 at 9:41 am
I have the same one, but in a different color.
June 14, 2012 at 9:41 am
I hope this isn’t one of those life-sized mold casting kits!
June 14, 2012 at 9:41 am
For the discerning man or lady who would pay $23 for the privilege of having his/her torso used as a ballsack rest.
June 14, 2012 at 10:04 am
Yeah right, if only it was that cheap. Oh wait, you’re talking about the necklace, aren’t you…
June 14, 2012 at 9:41 am
On the plus side, it would be useful to have around in case you lose a Monopoly piece.
June 14, 2012 at 9:42 am
except with everyone fighting over who gets to be the penis.
June 14, 2012 at 9:45 am
Hey – no fair!
You always get to be the penis!
I don’t want to be the stupid hat again!
MOM!
June 14, 2012 at 9:49 am
The penis is caught in the shoe again!
Wait, now we’re cross-referencing so many Regretsy posts my head is going to explode!
June 14, 2012 at 9:56 am
That would make a refreshing change from the way the game usually ends.
“You bought everything on that side. You are such a dick!”
“No, you’re the dick.”
“MOM!”
June 14, 2012 at 2:33 pm
A big difference to how it usually ends in my house aka attempted murder…
June 15, 2012 at 1:20 am
I thought “Attempted Murder” was already the official alternate name for the game?
I’ve seen fewer hurt feelings during Diplomacy, a game specifically designed to get you to betray each and every one of your friends.
June 15, 2012 at 7:02 pm
I’m at once relived and disappointed that my family never thought to rob and/or ‘murder’ each other when landing on a property we couldn’t afford. Oh, Mafia rules, you could’ve been so much fun.
June 14, 2012 at 9:42 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 14, 2012 at 9:42 am
I was reminded of this:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ba132721d0/white-man-s-d-k-with-susan-sarandon
June 14, 2012 at 10:55 am
how did I miss this video before?
I need me a white man’s penis
June 14, 2012 at 3:13 pm
If I could get one of those, I would use it in place of a thumbs up, because they’re friggin’ MAGICKAL!!!
June 14, 2012 at 9:43 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 14, 2012 at 2:15 pm
… and this is what happens when you lose the Regretsy Meth Game.
August 12, 2012 at 3:02 pm
You mean we have a meth game?
Why didn’t anyone tell me?!
June 14, 2012 at 9:43 am
Maybe I’ll buy two – I’ve been looking for a new set of cufflinks.
June 14, 2012 at 9:44 am
It’s a pacifier for FJL’s. For those times when you know you really shouldn’t open your mouth. (Boy that sounded mean, was really meant to be funny, but fuck it.)
June 14, 2012 at 10:20 am
I know what you meant. I was talking to my mom about work the other day, and told her, “You know how it is. Some days it’s exhausting just keeping your mouth shut.” She laughed because I got my snark from her.
June 14, 2012 at 9:45 am
my uncle wore a phallic symbol (a fuchsia penis, to be exact) to my grandmothers funeral. we agree this one is much more tasteful and would have better suited the occasion.
June 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm
I need more details.
Was his mom cruel about him being gay & he was showing her he could love dick all he wants? Is he an artist to whom it was just one of many controversial outfits? Is he super-duper-dumb and didn’t realise it was a dick?
June 14, 2012 at 9:45 am
Pre-pearl necklace necklace. Even the title is a mouthful.
June 14, 2012 at 9:53 am
you beat me to it!! i was going to say that this would be better on a string of pearls.
June 14, 2012 at 11:03 am
Or best of all, with a little tiny pearl dripping from the tip.
June 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm
So buy it and replace the chain, and glue a tiny pearl to the tip. problem solved!
June 14, 2012 at 9:46 am
http://img0-llalt.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.324216560.jpg
i saw this on tumblr (also in the user’s store) and really thought it was very clever though.
June 14, 2012 at 9:51 am
yikes, i actually find that to be kinda creepy, though well-crafted.
June 14, 2012 at 10:11 am
*clicks on link*
OK, that’s nice blue earring. What’s it supposed to be?
*focuses on blue earring…then sees second ear*
Christ on a Chees-it that’s creepy!
June 14, 2012 at 9:52 am
Awe man! I totally wanted to do that! Ah well, I guess deep down I knew I didn’t have any original ideas in my head. Sigh.
June 14, 2012 at 11:38 am
That’s clever and creepy and well-crafted and creepy!
June 14, 2012 at 4:41 pm
That gives me the heebie jeebies in the best way.
June 14, 2012 at 9:47 am
You could hang a small wreath on it at Christmas time.
June 14, 2012 at 9:53 am
and tiny mardi gras beads for mardi gras!
June 14, 2012 at 10:27 am
Or a tiny hat, well anytime.
June 14, 2012 at 10:43 am
Or a top hat and a monocle for that classy Victorian look. Add a set of goggles and it’s steampunk!
June 14, 2012 at 10:40 am
My cousin actually DID catch a string of Mardi Gras beads with a plastic penis charm on it this year. All I managed to get was a string of rubber ducks. I would have preferred a string of rubber dicks. Oh well.
June 14, 2012 at 7:38 pm
I once found one of those with what appeared to me to be rubber headlights on it. I was disappointed that they did not light up.
Yeah. They were tits.
June 14, 2012 at 11:04 am
Consider the possibilities for Flag Day! (today is Flag Day by the way).
June 15, 2012 at 7:09 pm
Indeed! Just use a tiny craft drill to add a little urethra hole in the tip, and switch out any number of flags or charms on pegs!
June 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Ah, Mardi Gras and penis beads….I still remember how actually *normal* it seemed when the lady in the garage pay booth was wearing her strand of nice, large penis beads one year. Only in New Orleans.
June 14, 2012 at 10:23 am
How totes adorable would eight of these things on a menorah be?
June 14, 2012 at 10:31 am
You’d need a really big one for the center (I’m not Jewish, but I know there are nine candles/lights on a menorah and the center one is usually bigger or longer, but definitely NOT uncut).
June 14, 2012 at 10:39 am
Hey, what you stick in the last hole is your business…
June 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm
Do NOT let those candles burn all the way down! Yikes. That’s a whole new meaning to “It burns”
June 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Just add a pair of jingle balls and a voice chip that says “Ho ho ho.” It would be the perfect stocking stuffer!
June 14, 2012 at 9:49 am
I may be wrong… but I believe, from a SEO and marketing standpoint, it’s probably best NOT to use words like “Little” or “Small” or “Tiny” or “Minuscule” or “Microscopic”
and then the word “Penis”
June 14, 2012 at 9:54 am
“fun-size”?
“cozy”?
“portable”?
June 14, 2012 at 9:55 am
Probably not “fun-size” unless meant ironically – like candy.
June 14, 2012 at 12:04 pm
I’m gong to be describing my penis as Fun-size, you know, when I have any opportunity to steer conversation to my penis.
June 14, 2012 at 12:22 pm
But, somehow, “whimsicle” is okay? I’m just curious, is all.
June 14, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Whimsicle is not a size descriptor. Whimsicle special cupcakes (and penises!) come in all sizes.
June 15, 2012 at 9:26 am
I can be whimsicle & fun at the same time, right?
June 14, 2012 at 10:01 am
“boutique”?
June 14, 2012 at 11:05 am
Bite-size?
June 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Portable Penis is totally the name of my new band!
June 14, 2012 at 10:15 am
Right! And the ONE time that the word ‘creamy’ would have totally sold it!
June 14, 2012 at 12:21 pm
It’s clearly “tall” (as opposed to “grande” or “venti”). Thanks for that logical nomenclature, Starbucks.
June 14, 2012 at 10:44 pm
Teacup?
June 14, 2012 at 11:08 pm
Collectible action figure + penis?
June 14, 2012 at 9:51 am
And now you can collect the set!
….with matching ring.
(I think they are creepy like left-over doll parts)
June 14, 2012 at 9:52 am
left-over doll parts makes sense. now we know what happened to Ken.
June 14, 2012 at 9:51 am
Ring – link
http://www.etsy.com/listing/96355517/little-penis-ring
June 14, 2012 at 11:06 pm
You could like so punch someone in the head with this for some total skull fuckery
June 15, 2012 at 7:12 pm
As a ring, it looks like a mutated extra finger growing out of a knuckle.
June 14, 2012 at 9:52 am
I don’t really ever go to anything formal enough to wear that.
I always love imagining someone stooped over, lovingly crafting a 3/4″ penis…all the details have to be just right or it would look stupid, you know?
June 14, 2012 at 9:55 am
Totally my thoughts too. I have a lot of thoughts in that vein, like, when Morrissey is writing song lyrics and then he’s like, “Hey guys, what if I just, like, yelped like a dying dog at this part?” And his band is like, “OMG Yeah! Great idea!!”
June 14, 2012 at 9:53 am
I saw this on a different site earlier in the week and I knew it would make its way here.
I’m hoping they can customize them… choose skin tone and maybe add a PA piercing on there to please the ladies??
June 14, 2012 at 7:41 pm
I want one with a Jacob’s Ladder.
June 14, 2012 at 9:54 am
Truth in advertising.
June 14, 2012 at 9:55 am
That’s even too fucking lame for a bachelorette party at TGIFriday’s.
June 14, 2012 at 11:14 am
That would be redundant.
June 14, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Lameception!
June 14, 2012 at 9:59 am
It’d be great if it had a tiny banner under it that said “Thug Life” in Old English letters.
June 14, 2012 at 12:33 pm
I think I would enjoy hanging out with you.
June 14, 2012 at 1:20 pm
You would. I’m sure of it. haha
June 14, 2012 at 1:32 pm
That was a joke. I’m not THAT douchy, I swear.
June 14, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Alright, THAT was a joke. I am that douchy.
June 14, 2012 at 11:18 pm
Good sir, you’ve really entered Regretsy with a bang. Your douchy self is welcome here any time.
June 15, 2012 at 8:18 am
Thank you, rawrf. I’ll bring the vinegar if you bring the water, ok?
June 14, 2012 at 9:59 am
I want a tiny box attachment to put around it. Something festive, Christmassy even.
June 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Convo her and explain…
“Step one…”
June 14, 2012 at 10:05 am
Where in the world would you wear a conservative white button down shirt and a penis necklace?
June 14, 2012 at 10:08 am
I was thinking “Where WOULDN’T you wear it?” Funeral would probably be out, I guess. Ron Jeremy’s funeral, maybe…
June 14, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Yeah, for a funeral you’d want to put it with a dark shirt.
How about a wedding? You could add some pearls like others suggested. Class it up a bit.
June 15, 2012 at 8:21 am
You could alert everyone to your “toast to the bride n’ groom” by tapping the tiny dick against your champagne glass.
You could also make some new friends at the wedding by going from table to table, stirring everyone’s drinks with it. Or an anal thermometer.
June 14, 2012 at 10:09 am
A bris?
June 14, 2012 at 10:11 am
A “meet the parents” dinner date?
June 14, 2012 at 10:13 am
What if you were being interviewed on national television about some horrible tragedy (earthquake, fire, etc)and you had that on? That would be awesome.
June 14, 2012 at 4:20 pm
I like how you think.
June 15, 2012 at 8:24 am
Thank you, SpyGlassez. I must confess, though – I wear a special helmet that does a lot of my thinking for me, so I can’t take ALL the credit.
June 14, 2012 at 10:13 am
Sexual harassment training at the human resources department.
June 14, 2012 at 10:17 am
I still think the listing picture would be better with the necklace on someone wearing a nun’s habit.
June 14, 2012 at 10:29 am
My first thought was Lana Del Ray.
June 14, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Saturday night mass at St. Peters?
June 14, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Only if I can get the pearl necklace as a rosary.
June 14, 2012 at 10:06 am
I want to buy two and wear them as earrings. They’re small enough that someone would have to lean in close to see what they are…and that would be THE most awkward moment ever.
June 14, 2012 at 12:08 pm
If you buy two and send them to me I will mount them on SS stems with nothing behind them. They will look like little fleshy growths, until someone leans in, it will be awkward squared!
June 14, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Do you make jewelry, or is this just an attempt to get your hands on these?
June 14, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Why’s it gotta be just one?
June 14, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Because if you don’t make jewelry and I send this to you, I will expect a sternly worded message from Mrs. Fucker to the effect of “Stop enabling him! I’ve told everyone to stop sending him miniature penises and now I’m going to track you down and make you wish you were intractably mentally ill, because that would be the only way you’d avoid my wrath.”
June 15, 2012 at 9:32 am
Wow, you are truly possesed of an insight beyond your years. While I failed to consider the results of Mrs. Fucker finding out a woman mailed me genitalia, it didn’t get by you for a second. Where were you & your insight when I was 14 – 24? I could have really used it then.
June 14, 2012 at 10:10 am
I’m holding out for the labret version.
June 14, 2012 at 10:13 am
I’m still regretting the modelling jobs I did in college.
June 14, 2012 at 10:15 am
I’m sorry they forced you to model in those cold studios!
June 14, 2012 at 10:17 am
Reykjavik is a tough place to start a modeling career. Trust me. It can make or break you in seconds.
June 14, 2012 at 10:32 am
Totally unrelated to this post, but I just checked out your shop and DAMN you make some beautiful pieces. This bench had me drooling! http://www.etsy.com/listing/96042499/fire-extinguisher-bench
June 14, 2012 at 10:47 am
Thanks so much!! That’s the most recent piece I’ve made, so I appreciate the compliment!
June 14, 2012 at 11:17 am
I think This piece is quite beautiful.
June 14, 2012 at 11:23 am
Thank you! Wow! So many nice people here!
June 14, 2012 at 11:42 am
The Gear Sconce is beautiful! Your posters are also gorgeous. I love the retro designs (when I visited Alcatraz I bought a few postcards just because of the 1940s look of them). What kind of paper are they on?
June 14, 2012 at 11:47 am
Thank you, Mugsy!The posters are printed on some kind of gloss card, I think. I get them printed in South Carolina.
June 14, 2012 at 12:32 pm
I simply adore the piston bookshelf, and I’m typically not much on modern art/design. It’s just beautiful.
June 14, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Thank you, Beeby! I’m not much on it, either. I like a combination of old and new.
June 14, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Oooh, yes, beautiful work!
Love the banjo lamp. And it’s a sign that I’ve been on Regretsy MUCH too long that I totally read that as “bajingo lamp.”
June 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Thanks, rushgirl!
June 14, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Are “bajingos” boobs? Sounds festive, whatever they are!
June 14, 2012 at 1:58 pm
You’re new here, aren’t you? Welcome!
Spend some time in the archives. They can be thrilling and chilling.
(To answer your question, No. Bajingo is singular and boobs is plural. I don’t want to tell you everything, because discovering it all on your own can be so…so indescribable.)
June 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Yeah, I’m new to posting here. I like it so far… I’m really fucking tired of etsy, especially the forums. This place is way less douchy and sickly sweet (“Your dangle earrings are SOOO fucking cute!” type shit), so it’s perfect for me. Plus, there are people here who are actually funny, so that’s a huge bonus.
June 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm
We think you’re funny too!
Stick around; Regretsy ROCKS, and the comments sections are almost as funny as the posts, plus we learn loooots of things here. (OK sure, most of them are things that will scar and warp you, but that’s half the fun!)
June 14, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Not only is it awesome, it’s tagged steampunk – CORRECTLY!
June 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Hey, now – someone needs to tell Matt Johnson to head over to the forums, too, so he can enjoy the even MORE fuckery that goes on there!
June 14, 2012 at 6:02 pm
No kidding. I’m drooling over some of his stuff. As soon as I get my debt paid down, that mixing-bowl lamp is MINE.
June 14, 2012 at 9:45 pm
You are so right – That piston bookshelf and the mixing bowl light have me lusting to shop. Those Etsy cupcakes should take a look at those for examples of recycling – no shit glued to shirt there!
June 14, 2012 at 10:18 am
Just in time for father’s day!
June 14, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Oooooh I can get this for my father who IS a complete dick!
June 14, 2012 at 10:20 am
I’m imagining all those poor castrated Ken dolls.
Or I’m imagining getting a bunch of them and attaching them to Ken dolls.
Or possibly replacing my “vaguely traditional totem pole” idea with “let’s just carve a 10′ penis and erect it in the front yard”.
June 14, 2012 at 10:47 am
Gee, if Ken had had that, maybe Barbie wouldn’t have left him for G.I. Joe…
June 15, 2012 at 7:58 am
Really? I thought she dumped him for Blaine? WAS IT ALL A LIE??!!!
June 15, 2012 at 8:48 am
Blaine was just a passing fancy.
As the little girl said when she sat on Santa’s lap, “I want Barbie and G.I. Joe.”
“But, doesn’t Barbie come with Ken?”
“No, Barbie plays with Ken, but she COMES with G.I. Joe.”
June 14, 2012 at 10:26 am
I’m a bit surprised that they got Rush Limbaugh to agree to a plaster cast for the mold…
June 14, 2012 at 10:39 am
Rush Limbaugh is a BIG prick, not a little one.
June 14, 2012 at 10:49 am
Touche. You make a good point.
June 14, 2012 at 11:18 am
No, he’s a big prick, but he has a little dick.
And now I’ve put myself off lunch by considering Rush’s winky.
June 14, 2012 at 11:43 am
Excellent point…and I know, I hated to have to think about it, too.
August 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm
No no. He has to ACT like he has a big prick. He’s just so ashamed.
June 14, 2012 at 10:26 am
Where I come from that’s called Chestnuts. Hang it on a wall, it becomes walnuts.
June 14, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Put it in hot chocolate and it’s cocoanuts
June 14, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Fondle it in a dark room and it’s a feel-bert.
*slinks away*
June 14, 2012 at 6:04 pm
*applaud*
June 14, 2012 at 10:35 am
They could stick a little seed bead in the clay and give it a piercing.
June 14, 2012 at 10:49 am
for some reason all I can think of is Easy E singing “Nutz on your chin, nutz on your chin”
June 14, 2012 at 10:50 am
I dated him back in the 70′s – always wondered what became of him. See, on the positive side, I never forgot him….
June 14, 2012 at 5:42 pm
I was just about to say: if I wanted a tiny dick I’d call any of my ex-husbands.
//unforgettable, no matter how hard I’ve tried to repress the awful memories…
June 14, 2012 at 10:54 am
I’m from New Orleans. Dicks on a string? No eyebrows will be raised.
http://www.mardigrasimports.com/shop/subcategory-3-10.html
Tell you what, here’s some that light up:
http://www.mardigrasimports.com/shop/product-72004589-3-12.html
Sheesh. Find me something SHOCKING, will you?
June 14, 2012 at 9:36 pm
They light up!! I’m in love with that webpage.
June 15, 2012 at 7:41 pm
I am, too. I saw someone mention beads with dicks further up the page and was all “WAAAAA, where do I find some?!”. Thank goodness for BillsBayou!
But bridal shower favors, website? BAH. I’d get a couple dozen, take ‘em to an anime convention and pass ‘em out amongst my fellow yaoi fans. Every one of my friends would wear it all weekend, which is probably why they’re my friends in the first place.
June 14, 2012 at 10:56 am
See, I would’ve thought that adult-themed Shrinky Dinks were a bad idea…shows what I know, I guess.
June 14, 2012 at 10:57 am
So…does the model for this piece happen to be single?
(I’m asking for a friend. She has extremely low self-esteem.)
June 14, 2012 at 11:11 am
And hopefully she been practicing her Kegels a LOT.
June 14, 2012 at 11:16 am
OR is really into bellybutton sex.
June 14, 2012 at 11:37 am
My heart breaks for all the women with outies who long for good, satisfying bellybutton sex.
June 14, 2012 at 11:44 am
I know….where are the telethons for them? Jerry Lewis totally ignores them, you know?
June 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I would’ve suspect Chaz Bono to do that telethon.
June 15, 2012 at 8:49 am
You are so cruel!
Marry me?
June 14, 2012 at 11:08 am
If they’re going to have a woman model this, she should be very busty and wearing a very low-cut top, doncha think? What’s with the button-down?
June 14, 2012 at 11:20 am
I think if a busty lady was modeling it, then the penis should have a little sombrero on it. It just makes sense to me.
June 14, 2012 at 11:11 am
I imagine it being worn underneath a button up shirt, with it poking through a button hole.
June 14, 2012 at 12:01 pm
It would be cute cell phone jewelry, or maybe for a pet collar…
June 14, 2012 at 12:03 pm
Or pleasuring hamsters.
June 14, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Oh why did I read your comment? Hamster perv…
June 14, 2012 at 3:00 pm
No, that’s gerbils. I don’t do gerbils. I’m Baptist.
June 14, 2012 at 4:25 pm
YES!! DarkSock has come over to the Regretsy side….my internet is complete!
June 15, 2012 at 8:50 am
*Adds “I don’t do gerbils. I’m Baptist.” to list of sampler-worthy Regretsy posts…and giggles*
August 12, 2012 at 3:08 pm
So gerbils are a Methodist thing then?
June 14, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Off topic, but “Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle” is the greatest name in the history of names on any planet anywhere.
June 14, 2012 at 12:29 pm
You should see what her name was before they shortened it at Ellis Island.
June 14, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Now THAT’S good!
June 14, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Why, thank you, Matt Johnson.
June 15, 2012 at 9:31 am
You’re welcome, PrincessBuzzkillCryingGlitterEagle, if that is your real name…..
That’s Sioux Indian, is it not?
June 16, 2012 at 7:28 pm
No, it’s not Lakota. They are very…erm… touchy about cultural appropriation.
It’s “Cherokee”.
June 17, 2012 at 8:08 am
Ahhh….as in “Jeep Grande Cherokee”, I take it? A tribe known as much for their hunting prowess as for their terrible gas mileage…
June 14, 2012 at 12:03 pm
I am overcome with an urge to have my dentist implant two of these in place of my upper canines.
June 14, 2012 at 12:09 pm
Then you could get a super hero name like “Dicktooth”.
June 14, 2012 at 12:31 pm
WangFang – the Spitting Serpent. He almost took Green Lantern out.
June 14, 2012 at 3:04 pm
DïckTööth = my new band name.
And yes I burned an hour at work trying to figure out how to get umlauts to post.
June 15, 2012 at 8:31 am
If I knew how to make umlauts, I would
A)type everything I could get me hands on with them, including birth and death certificates.
B)Probably never leave the house except for maybe a Motley Crue concert.
C)Change my name to something that’s JUST umlauts, with maybe a silent Q at the end.
June 14, 2012 at 12:34 pm
THE ONE-EYED AVENGER!
June 14, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Captain Spunk!
June 14, 2012 at 12:08 pm
It would be great if it had a white ribbon that unfurled from the head when you touched it that reads “ask me about my grandkids”.
June 14, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Is there a matching tiny ‘giney for the teeny weenie? Ya know, his and hers.
June 14, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Go search “Felt Brooch” on etsy. You’ll be amazed.
June 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Yes, “amazed.” That’s exactly what you’ll feel.
June 14, 2012 at 12:18 pm
I would wear this everywhere including my office and mass. When the priest raises an eyebrow, I will simply say it isn’t very christ like to judge those with dicks around their necks.
June 14, 2012 at 12:24 pm
At first I wanted to buy one of these for my ex SO BADLY. Then I remembered that he already had one, but his wife is wearing it. Oh, well.
June 14, 2012 at 12:32 pm
But you’re not bitter, right?
June 14, 2012 at 12:34 pm
No, he’s just the dickless wonder.
But yeah, I’m a little bitter too.
June 14, 2012 at 4:26 pm
I read that as “a little biter” and thought, well, that explains why HE isn’t wearing it any more.
June 14, 2012 at 12:35 pm
I think it’s hollow, and filled with just enough cyanide to kill yourself if someone sees you wearing it.
June 14, 2012 at 12:39 pm
So, how much extra do you think she’d charge to add some blue and a touch of fuzz to the balls for the sake of realism? Because, you know, if I’m wearing a dick around my neck, I’m not going to half-ass it.
June 14, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Blue and fuzz are expensive, tiny wangs are cheap, my dear…
I think it should have hair that goes like a foot down from it. Just completely/absurdly out of proportion. It’d be like a shrunken head.
June 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm
I want one of those (necklaces) so badly.
June 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm
I dunno, these are cute and all but I’d be much more interested in buying a tiny version of a big, veiny, glorious boner at full-salute. Then I could hang a necklace from my necklace.
June 14, 2012 at 1:26 pm
If it’s gonna be a boner, it should hang on a pearl necklace, don’t ya think?
June 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm
OHHHHHHHHH. So THAT’S how lesbians have sex.
June 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Is that like a “promise ring”?
Or something for a Dominant woman to wear to indicate that she “owns” her Submissive guy?
June 14, 2012 at 3:05 pm
More like a threat ring…
June 14, 2012 at 4:06 pm
It kinda just looks like an extra, mutated finger.
Totally needs veins and pubes for more recognisability in this situation.
June 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Or you just tell people it came from your conjoined twin, and stare at them as though they were jerks for bringing it up.
June 15, 2012 at 9:20 am
That’s really good. haha
“It’s all I have left of Derek. Thanks for bringing it up”.
June 24, 2012 at 11:39 am
With this thing, I thee wed.
June 14, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I suppose this is classier than just hanging a pair of “truck nuts” from a collar and calling it done.
June 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Relative to the balls, it seems a bit meagre, doesn’t it?
June 14, 2012 at 4:58 pm
I’m going to make a point of starting at least one sentence each day with “relative to the balls.”
June 14, 2012 at 5:36 pm
I think you should start every sentence with “relative to the balls”
June 14, 2012 at 8:42 pm
“Relative to the balls, this soda tastes great!”
June 14, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Relative to the balls, getting my ass kicked isn’t so bad.
June 15, 2012 at 9:29 am
“Relative to the balls, Princeton is a wonderful university”
“Relative to the balls, that Kenny Rogers concert was awesome!”
“Relative to the balls, my Mother in Law smells terrific”
June 14, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Alternate post titles:
Dick Chain-y
Junk Jewelry
Every kiss begins with KY
June 15, 2012 at 8:53 am
Giggling with glee over your screen name.
And now I know who to ask when I need a hammer and some nails.
June 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Size does matter, as does detail!
June 14, 2012 at 8:19 pm
These all look like baby penises. That makes me uncomfortable.
June 14, 2012 at 8:52 pm
This would look PERFECT in the center of my goatse necklace!!
June 14, 2012 at 9:33 pm
The perfect gift for that person who agrees not to exchange gifts but then gives you one and leaves you running around or a bottle of wine or a regift for them. Once you give them this they’ll never gift you again.
June 14, 2012 at 11:22 pm
Better keep a few of these around the house, just in case.
July 11, 2012 at 12:36 am
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
August 12, 2012 at 3:10 pm
All I could think was, “wow that’s detailed…”
Then I clicked through the link…and…not so much.