Fotini, the magickal, whimsical remnant fairy, lives in your linen closet, where she staples old handkerchiefs to your sports bras.
A fashion must have not.
My first thought was: “Jesus Christ this is fucking hideous.” Then my second thought was: “yup, still fucking hideous.”
Jesus Christ agrees with you, I am sure.
The funny thing is that her tattoo says ‘Jesus Christ’. It’s a kind of typographic ligature Eastern Orthodox use on icons and other stuff.
It’s like a sign that reads “Jesus approves handkerchiefs on a bra”.
Well, crap. MY first thought was “pfft, she’s spelled ‘whimsicle’ wrong,” followed swiftly by a facepalm.
I give it a Stevie Nix.
Even Stevie is looking at it going “Oh, hell no!”
Well, we think that’s what she’s saying. That woman mumbles like a Dick Tracy villain.
I C what you did there
A FAIRY’S HEART BEATS TWEEEEEEE!
And this is an absolute fashion must have:
LOL, and you can do it at home!
I’m pretty sure that she’s stapling things to an actual bra, not a sports bra. Though I’m gay so I haven’t seen an actual bra in some time …
I’m a woman, and I couldn’t tell you if that’s a sports bra or not. Not because I’m some braless hippy, just because I’m lazy and my idea of athletic support is cheering on Manchester United.
It looks like a camisole to me. But WTF do I know? I’m probably not faerie enough to “get” it.
I wear a sports bra most days, because it’s comfy on a large, squishy bosom (on a large, squishy body). That ain’t it.
I have the same problem. WEEP FOR US, REGRETSY.
It’s not a sports bra. The straps and back aren’t wide enough. Sports bras work by squashing everything down so they don’t move.
Let’s not get bogged down in minutiae. The important thing is, it’s hideous.
But it fits her so beautifully. What woman doesn’t want her breasts to look like granny’s used hankies?
Now i see their have been a number of other hanky comments. In my feeble defense, my plagiarism wasn’t intentional.
Also, for some reason I find this thing more disturbing than the guy fucking the shoes.
Making love to the shoes.
Don’t. Tread on Me
I think she may have just used the wording “sports bra” just for the poetry of it. Can we get over the semantics? (Did I use that word correctly? I haven’t worked in a while and I think my brain is starting to atrophy talking only to the dog all day.)
Is this in the hanky code? I looked up pink floral and couldn’t find it.
Wait a minute. I just realized we have a weekend in Provincetown dedicated to men who wear these.
Better check with them. But beware, pink flowers could possibly be the code for something gross (or, barring that, peculiar).
I think it’s code for “My beard attended a sewing class, and all she got was…* hemorrhage*” My gay friends, including the masculine ones, would need to be comforted if they saw this.
The hankies are worn on the left, right, and center. Hey, I’m all for flexibility, but I wish people would make up their minds. Makes it very confusing for those of us who work so hard to memorize charts!
Holy crap, is that a NURSING BRA? Look at the straps! Does it not look like they unbutton from the cups?
So she’s selling her used nursing bras (like used panties, only just gross, not pervy) to lactating fairies. Eases.
Not eases. Ewwwww. Fucking autocorrect.
Yes! That is most definitely a nursing bra. What a nutbag!!!!
On the bright side, if a woman’s breastfeeding while wearing this and the kid vomits, there’s handy bits of cloth available to mop up the spew.
Well, thank god, because I just wouldn’t buy it unless I could nurse out of it.
…kidding. But it is weird how pregnancy and nursing have changed the way I shop for clothes. First, I had to make sure it would fit a monster belly. Now, I need to see if I can easily get my boobs out of it. My life is not as it used to be.
I’ve always shopped for clothes my boobs can get out of easily. I don’t have any kids, I just like to have an escape route planned ahead of time.
I love you.
That will be my criteria when I’m clothes shopping: “Hi, I’m looking for something that lets my boobs escape easily…No, I’m not nursing. Why do you ask?”
I think I love both of you. And the fat lady store is having a bra sale now so I may go terrorize some poor college sales girls this weekend with your line.
That explains why they’re too big.
it’s be handy during allergy season. gross, but handy.
I think you misspelled “hanky”.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
That’s okay. I think April misspelled “he”.
I must live a sheltered life because I have no idea how hankys come into play in gloryholes.
Or even hankies.
Well if you don’t want to swallow, you can catch it in a hanky…
They make handy makeshift gloryhole doilies.
You hardly see gloryhole doilies anymore. No one has class these days.
Not needing to worry about cleanup at the gloryhole doesn’t indicate a sheltered life, it indicates you’re visiting high caliber gloryholes.
Whoever buys this will be popular as hell during allergy season! Topless by the end of the day, probably, but popular.
Ideally that would increase the person’s popularity.
I can see it all now, as a wannabe seductress performs the Dance of the Seven Snotrags.
I was really hoping this was a guy… Why would a girl do that to the twins?! =S
See the real girly girl in me (she’s small and insignificant and usually gets shouted down by slob, tomboy and perv parts of me) thinks that from under the boobs down its sort of cute. Ish. But with weird creepy boobs so no.
Yeah, the weirdo boobs are the first thing I saw, and I can’t ignore them. Who wants their breasts to look like deflated balloons?
I know I didn’t.
I had to go back and look again; It looked to me like it was just a really bad sewing job on the fabric over the cups, but you may be right.
As a flat-chested gal I see the problem. You are supposed to stuff the hankies IN the bra cups, not stick them to the outside.
So, are you saying deflated balloons aren’t whimsical? Shit.
It would be kind of cute (as a Halloween costume, with tights instead of pants) if it weren’t so poorly made and it didn’t make her boobs look so lumpy.
Whimsical Fairy Fotini.. not a delicious pasta dish as I thought it would be before clicking. Disappointment #19201 of the day.
They had to pull it off the menu. Turns out the fairies are too hard to debone.
That’s why you press them.
Kidding? Fotini alfredo makes a delicious luncheon dish for those who don’t care about the side effects of eating pasta slathered in cheese sauce.
I’m actually 90% sure looking at those straps that it is a breastfeeding tank top. My mom-friends have them; sort of a quick-release snap for the jugs.
That’s some messed up upcyling. Messedupcycling.
“Messedupcycling – new favorite word ever. Replacing my sister’s comment about the time travel in MiB 3: “Yeah, I thought there’d be more blacklash, too”.
well no need to search everywhere for a burp cloth after feeding. Now, that’s thinking ahead.
Could also explain the deflated look.
As an added bonus, your boobs will look like they are grandmas wearing bonnets! Very whimsical!
is that some sort of fun playful Popsicle?
Do you even go here?
Fuck me sideways with a fairy wand. Not only is that a cringe worthy pun of a product name, but looks like you have spooge dripping off your “sicles”.
That is a thing of beauty.
Somebody *really* likes Whim-sicles!
-wants to thumbs-up Jupiter several more times-
She needs a posture pal.
Her enthusiasm for dressing as a fairy is perfectly expressed through these images. It’s like the effort of wearing this hair-shirt has perked her up like a thirsty flower jabbed into sand.
I like the little piece in the back that says “BELIEVE”. It has to tell us the person who made is was serious.
It’s almost like they anticipated our incredulity.
This has Regretsy Bait written all over it…under all the hankies.
Fairy Fotini, is that an Olive Garden dish, made from the previous night’s leftovers, half eaten bread sticks, soggy salad and such?
Perfect for the Dance of a Thousand Fails.
I would give this comment a thousand thumbs if I could. Well played.
Whimsical is spelled correctly.
WHAT IS THIS MADNESS
It is made for nursing so all the hankies for wiping up the spit-up seem so appropriate now don’t they? From the fit of the cups she has been sucked dry….
It kind of looks like her breasts are about to peel off, but at least she’ll probably be able to find a way to re-purpose them if they do.
Still better than this gem from the same shop: http://www.etsy.com/listing/70098386/chocolate-with-blue-swirls-cami?ref=correlated_featured — it’s like one of those x-ray shirts, but with intestines instead of bones.
Did she get those little goofy paisley things wholesale? They appear on a bunch of her items.
It screams… No wait, that was me.
What we have here is a person who needs to learn the difference between “can” and “should”.
I agree, as in “She SHOULD take a basic sewing class and pitch her current pieces into a large, flaming CAN.”
I think she has some pretty good ideas and some pretty bad ones. I like this dress:
I have a couple that are similarly styled, albeit not made by this person, and they’re comfy and flattering (and I hate wearing dresses).
The execution is still pretty poor — look at the fit around the chest. Of course, it does not help that thee model is apparently wearing a textured lace bra and the dress is unlined.
I think the best is this one from her shop http://www.etsy.com/listing/97684013/rose-red-cotton-knit-with-vintage
Because every gal’s rack should look like Grandma’s coffee table?
I like the one entitled “Hawaiian, Frech Holiday”. By “Frech” she means “French” of course, but what is a “Hawaiian, French Holiday”?? Perhaps she really means “Tahitian Holiday” and doesn’t know it.
It can be worn with a pair of jeans and heels, but it shouldn’t.
It can be worn, but it shouldn’t.
and it is only $69! Why do I always have to click the link to see how much they want for this stuff??? Why do I always have to see what else is in there pandora’s chest of delights?
It’s half the fun of this place – the realm of weirdo discovery awaits, just a click or two away!
Sorry, all I can think of is that those Surly Teenage Fairies should STAND UP STRAIGHT!!!
The very sad thing is that she isn’t a teenager – she’s got saggy, baggy upper arms… a very unfortunate combination with the wrinkle-tit motif…
Less fotini, more martini.
You guys, we can save her! Quick, everyone blow your nose if you believe in fairies!
I’m just as confused by the cross-cultural amulets of superstition. She has an ‘evil eye’ around her neck, as well as a Buddha, more ‘evil eyes’ on her wrist in addition to dzi beads, and what I can only assume is an iron cross and celtic writing tattoed on her back. I guess when you leave the house wearing something this fugly, you want to make sure that you have all of your bases covered when it comes to luck
The front is kind of cute, though I’m not sure this is the best venue. The back has too many gaps for my taste. Not consistent enough.
It’s called she realized she didn’t have enough “hankies” to continue the tight spacing of the front and had to make due. Ah, the joys of not mocking it up first. The bright side? It allows us to mock.
The only thing going for this is that the seller spelled “whimsical” correctly.
I have a friend named Fotini. Somehow I can’t imagine she’d be pleased at being forcibly associated with… this.
Her entire shop is a hideous mash-up of an underwear drawer, old hankies, and grandma’s entire curtain collection all sewn together in bizarre ways.
I actually have a picture in my head of a similar design that, done correctly, would be really cute. Meaning, a constructed top and not scraps stapled onto a random base. I may make one for the Phoenix Fairy Festival…
Iza Ferry, dammit!
Thanks for my new desktop background!
You win +100 internets!
See, the boobies are actually just like those old Reebok pump up shoes from the 90′s. You can inflate and deflate according to your fit preference.
Check out the price. *snickers like a 12-year-old*
I really love the rosebud print, and I love the idea she was going for. Unfortunately for her it was horrendously executed. If anyone pays that much for it they should be executed!
She has some truly confusing things in her shop, but it’s the “Rainbow Mystery Coat” that I love best, if only for this picture:
The dogs are so oblivious to the “mystery,” it’s fantastic!
See, and if it was in dark blue or green or black, my nerdy d&d-loving self would adore it. I feel this is a missed opportunity on her part.
Joseph’s technicolor dreamcoat.
Now available in ‘Technicolor Yawn’!
This coat is Size small “because the silk brocade doesn’t stretch”? No, it’s because you ruined gorgeous fabric by measuring it correctly and now it barely fastens across your chest – and the hood barely fits on your head!
She has an uncanny way of making things that are ALMOST right, but then wrong in the wrongest ways…
The dog figured she took a shit, he may as well take one too!
Worryingly, I think that coat would be rather awesome…if it wasn’t made out of tarpaulin
THAT DOG IS POOPING IT IS SO AWED BY THE MYSTERY
Okay, 2 points back because I like her dogs.
So, what the fuck is a fotini and why is it not a list of crimes against humanity yet?
A fucked up floaty bikini top. And I agree the Hague should be alerted immediately.
The first thing I thought when I saw this was “ravioli tits.”
And the magical slouch faerie appeared..
Why is she all hunched over and slouchy in the first pic? It makes this already terrible chunk of clothing look even worse.
I think maybe she was going for cleavage
She should go a little farther.
I think this shirt would be really handy if you just pinched one out and realized there’s no toilet paper left!
It sort of looks like she is wearing a water bra after someone stuck her with a needle and drained all the liquid.
I’m really tempted to make one of these out of an old jogging bra and dishcloths.
What are you waiting for!? All you need to do is staple the cloths to the bra. It practically makes itself!
Buyer must have majikal titties to properly fit into the crudely darted boulder holders. Okay, they look more like pebble holders.
I declare this to be Renaissance Faire Lingerie whereby yon maiden may findeth a tryst with a young knight!
And then he can use one of those hanky’s to wipe up! Ya, I went there.
Betcha some hipster would wear this to Coachella, with ugg boots and a neon turkey feather fake-NDN headdress.
The majority of what’s in her shop just screams ‘retirement village couture’ – from the kind of place that has Crafts Hour twice a month.
It doesn’t bode well for the garment when even the creator visibly can’t wait to take it off.
On the upside, if anyone’s got a snotty nose, she’s totally prepared.
Hell, one wipe on your nose with this and you’ll be sneezing glitter for a month.
The most confusing aspect of the whole outfit for me is the dodgy looking band-patch affair going on at the back. Do you think she took a look at the outfit after she made and thought “Nah, it’s still missing SOMETHING” *le staple* “Ahh much better.”
“Do I dare to add one more piece of crap to this ensemble?”
I had reference J. Alfred.
This is pretty cool, (I love me some waistcoats) but she’s made it at least a couple of inches too short. *sadface*
Also, who waits for a bus in a field?
My inner costumiere has fought her way to the surface, screaming “Extra large GROMMETS! Wrinkled binding! Couch cushion fabric! Polysilk! ” …help …
I think she’s waiting for a stagecoach. Or a steam train.
Ah, a Steampunk vest. That explains it.
I hope she doesn’t lay down.. someone might mistake her for an old couch and try to sit on her.
This is perfect for allergy season. No more need for kleenex. Environmental friendly. What more does one need?
I don’t think she is hunched over in shame or bad posture
I just think she constructed it so bad that she is now trapped within it..
Maybe it’s the official uniform for the Faerie Flag Football league.
If she drew a razor knife across her midsection, she could simultaneously flirt with like 50 dudes.
wrong page, dude
Holy crap that is my fault.
Unless two women have that same tattoo, I had a roomate who asked me to teach her to sew, and one of her first big ideas was the prototype of that top. The first one had the bra cups exposed, and the base stitched to it. She wore it everywhere and apparently now is making a go of sewing based off of it.
I don’t know whether to laugh or apologize.
I don’t even think this is the worst thing she’s produced. At least I now know what happened to my grandmothers doilys. http://img0.etsystatic.com/007/0/6177884/il_fullxfull.376752904_53xw.jpg
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