Daughter has them (at 25!) cos she changed her sensible, mother-bought shoes for crappy don’t fit shoes that she borrowed from her friends when she got to school. At last – something bad I do not feel guilty for!
That must be the result of constantly wearing tight, pointy-toed, high-heeled moccasins, OUCH! I am glad I come from the tribe Butchbutstraight, where our traditional footwear is the hiking sandal.
Exactly! The big toe looks painfully deformed from footwear choices, and the smaller toes are squished together giving the appearance of some other digit after the little toe. Ouch is right!
It’s the regretsy double standard. If there’s an unattractive model, regretsians pounce all over anyone who mentions it. If there’s a very attractive model, regretsians seize on anything to denigrate her. I’m sure all the haters are just as attractive as the girl in the photo, but with better feet. HA!
I can’t handle feet, I have what might be called anti foot-fetish (or foot-phobia possibly), so with the previous post and this one I’m more freaked and icked out now than I’ve ever been by Regretsy posts..
Surprisingly this is the first thing I noticed. Like some people should not be allowed to wear swimwear, this woman needs to wear shoes. Even if nothing else.
It’s just her heel. The way her foot is turned and arched, you can see the bottom of her foot past her toes. Don’t freak out about a perfectly average foot, people.
All of this confusion means the photographer is a dumbass. A viewing of America’s Next Top Model would be helpful for him at this point. You don’t let boobs distract you from a bad foot angle.
Okay, that is not to say ANTM is the end-all and be-all of photography lessons, but there is certainly remedial advice on there this photographer could learn from.
I saw some dreamcatchers at a gift stand in the Navajo corner of Arizona, and I told the guy I thought they were a Sioux thing. He said they were, but the tourist don’t know that, and he sells what people buy. I’m all for that.
No kidding! I go to a local pow wow each year and dream catchers and herbs are practically all you can buy. That, and Indian Tacos. But those are really yummy.
It’s been a year and a half since I had an Indian taco. It was a great one, from a little trailer kitchen by the side of the road, the way god intended.
I was confused by the ostrich feathers until I found a valuable historical document (decoupaged onto a Tide bottle vase) describing how Aboriginal people traded furs for ostrich feathers with the Hudson Bay Company. I learn so much from Etsy I might as well shred this useless degree.
Shred it…and glue the shreds onto an empty Pringles can, to represent the fast-food mind-set of today’s educational system and how many chemicals absorb every day without having any control over it…and then maybe add something about the plastic lid being a metaphor for how society puts a lid on our creativity and individuality and personhood.
*shudders at how easily that came to mind without giving it any thought*
No, no… it’s the now extinct Ostri-eagle. It’s extinct because it kept trying to hide by sticking it’s head in the sand everytime it saw a bad pedicure and cheesy photo. Needless to say, they all suffocated.
Which is why the squeals of outrage if you object to the use of swastikas largely come from white New Agers, not Chinese or Indian Buddhists or Hindus.
Naw, it’s totally above board. I memory serves me, I think it’s detailed in Treaty No. 1 signed at Lower Fort Garry with the Ojibwa, Swampy Cree. Up here in Canada, we’ve been profiting from our people since 1871!
“The Indian Arts and Crafts Act of 1990 (P.L. 101-644) is a truth-in-advertising law that prohibits misrepresentation in marketing of Indian arts and crafts products within the United States. It is illegal to offer or display for sale, or sell any art or craft product in a manner that falsely suggests it is Indian produced, an Indian product, or the product of a particular Indian or Indian Tribe or Indian arts and crafts organization, resident within the United States. For a first time violation of the Act, an individual can face civil or criminal penalties up to a $250,000 fine or a 5-year prison term, or both. If a business violates the Act, it can face civil penalties or can be prosecuted and fined up to $1,000,000.
“The law covers all Indian and Indian-style traditional and contemporary arts and crafts produced after 1935. The Act broadly applies to the marketing of arts and crafts by any person in the United States.”
As a blue eyed and blondish haired Creek/Cherokee (who is by no means active in Tribal culture) my darkness has been stamped out by the white devil blood. At least I don’t have to tan!
My poor husband, who is also a blond Cherokee/Creek individual–how many of you ARE there? I thought that was kind of specific of him–simply turns bright red when exposed to too much sunlight.
*art. Art, art, art. I blame preggo brain. I also recently tried to stick my coffee cup, complete with ice cubes, in the microwave to brew a cup of coffee in my Keurig.
Wow! They shaved their pits and legs! Who knew? And that must be a traditional cherry/raspberry all-natural toenail polish she’s got going there. And the blonde hair…. oh, fuck it; this is stupid on so many levels I could be here all night.
She was taught the ancient art of beauty by Mary McDonnell in “Dances with Wolves.” At least they had a lame backstory for her being nekked in buckskin.
Actually, it wasn’t uncommon traditionally for First Nations people to remove body hair (Iroquois men and women, for instance, used mussel shells as tweezers). Also, they are still around, and perfectly capable of going to the drugstore for razors and nail polish.
My husband is 1/4 Native American, and is blonde with green eyes. My step children are blonde, one green eyed and one blue-eyed. The ONLY reason the youngest has brown eyes is because I’m Italian. But the Ostrich feathers are pretty much bullshit.
The thing is that Native Americans from the East Coast and Midwest and Southeast and all who married white people tended to marry, well, Scots-Irish types. Due to settlement demographics. A couple of generations worth of genes outta the British Isles, and you start getting the blond look coming through no matter what.
The objection here is a revisionist portrayal of “traditional” life. We have a lot of Native celebrations here in Oklahoma and, while everyone encourages young people to participate in their heritage, dyed blonde (or any other color) hair and colored contacts are viewed as disrespectful.
Oh, I am no fan of the piece in the original posting. But whenever one of these hipster Native fetish pieces gets posted some of the comments by people jumping to an attempted defense of Native culture are also fairly ignorant and offensive. Natives weren’t/aren’t barefoot cavepeople with no technology or cultural advancements of their own, they aren’t all the same, and they shouldn’t be talked about like they’re all extinct now. And comments about how people probably aren’t Native because they don’t look a certain way are borderline racist. Native people don’t all look the same and they aren’t all racial purists either (which, again, is not a defense of this piece, just a reponse to comments).
I agree. But it’s hard to ignore the ugly history of dominant usurpation of minority culture. I’d rather have a condescending but well-meaning defense of traditional culture than people defending Princess Tigerleisl here as a legitimate work “because Native people aren’t all dark, you know.”
When the message you get from white culture is that the way your people look is ugly, it’s not racist to teach your children that they are beautiful. It’s not racist to teach them that the way your people look is what they should aspire to.
I don’t think that a person is defending Native culture when they paint it as something entirely different than it is based on nothing but their own imagination.
My kids are part native, and they were born extremely blond with green eyes, as was their sperm-dad, who has an even greater percentage of Native blood in him.
Also, everything bethymania said, far better than I was trying to put into words. There’s enough to mock about this image without perpetuating harmful and racist stereotypes.
You’re a moron. Do you even know how we determine Native American heritage in Oklahoma? Rest assured we do, and Elizabeth Warren meets those standards. This is the most Republican state in the country, and there are plenty of people here who’d like nothing better than to take EW down, but they’re not saying jack shit about it, because there’s nothing to be said. So STFU and go back to looking down your nose at us like everyone else does. We might not be good at much, but by God we’re good at being Okies.
And teenage pregnancy.
If this was even close to true there wouldn’t be a story. I’m from MA, where EW is running. Even if that lying bitch could demonstrate heritage, which by her admission she can’t, her percent is under min for recognition, the EEOC laws she abused are to redress wrongs suffered. Wrongs she never suffered, and no one in her family ever suffered. She is the worst of the worst and party doesn’t enter into it.
Which EEOC laws did she benefit from? Oh, right, none. She didn’t get any scholarships, she wasn’t a preferential hire. Two of her employers chose, after hiring her, to classify her as a minority on their reporting to the federal government.
There isn’t, to date, a story. The emails you guys send around titled “107 more reasons BHO is a MUSLIM TERORIST” aren’t actually media.
Moron, exactly what does ew falsely claiming minority status have to do with Obama? She benefitted from preferential hiring & the schools used her to claim furthered diversity. A claim, she admits can’t be verified, that her greatgreatgreat grandmother, listed as white on census, was Cherokee if true would make her 1/2 or less of the min for recognition. Mass isn’t some type of far right red state, and rebuking her isn’t part of some deep, vast, right wing, conspiracy. You are the only one trying to stir up idiotic conspiracies by playing a foolish “Obama troll” accusation.
As far as I’m concerned, Oklahoma means that my parents in Arkansas need only travel about two miles across the state line to partake of a very reasonably priced casino buffet and the chance to waste about five dollars on the nickel slots.
Southern Arkansas, where my mom’s dad’s people are from, means that, even if the stories about my great-grandmother being part Cherokee are true, there’s no way I’ll ever know, because “that’s not something we talk about.”
Ah, racism.
(And then again, as a woman of mixed ethnic heritage—I’m a quarter Filipina.—I have to say it’s nice to be able to choose whether I want to be white or not, depending on what I get out of it.)
Standing on tuna cans to see five miles farther! Does that count? I visited Oklahoma, and while the people were absolutely wonderful and amazing, I was SO homesick for my East Tennessee mountains.
A real photographer wouldn’t have a woman’s foot looking like that. That’s a bad and awkward pose. If they did, it’d end up in the rejects pile, not as a $350 print.
I’m always somewhat disappointed that people who rip off native American artwork aren’t more creative. The actual Native designs are way more beautiful and intricate than these shitty hipster photos would have people believe. But then, if they were any kind of creative they wouldn’t be ripping off native cultures and clumping them into ugly, stereotypical photos either.
THIS. When I was little, I used to strip the needles off the sago palm in my parents yard and pant them, so I could try to do woven quill patterns. Needless to say it very much did not work, but I’ve always thought quillwork was completely gorgeous. I’d love to see something creative done around that.
No kidding. I own a few pieces of native artwork that I purchased from actual tribe members who made a living off their craft, and I often just look at it really closely and try to figure out how the Hell they did it.
It seems to me that at some point either the photographer or the model would see the problems with this, but I guess not.
And in the other “Native American” picture in their shop, where she’s in the rain or something, her expression is somehow so fucking hilarious to me, but I can’t pinpoint why.
I don’t know why, maybe it’s her “O” face? But the addition of rain makes it officially glorified porn for me. There’s only so many tits before you go from art to fetish.
This is why I love me some Regretsy. There this chick is, buck naked (pun intended) and all we can focus on is her fucked up, gross hobbit feet. I think I’ve found my internet home.
I am sorry, but that Wikipedia description is so inaccurate. You cannot rely on it, that’s just stupid. Because everyone knows to be truly a Native American girl, you have to sit quiet like and reveal your boobies to the universe. It is what going native means. Stupid Wikipedia.
LOL, they have “erotic art” of “The Little Match Girl!” Seriously, I’m all for creative fantasies, but it seems like a story about a child freezing to death in the snow doesn’t work with the whole “erotic” thing.
Wow, now I have to dig out my books because the husband has never heard of The Little Match Girl, nor has he heard the original version of Rapunzel or Sleeping Beauty- though this shop’s photo is quite possibly truer to the original tale than they know.
But he did enjoy a good laugh at the Native American girl pictured above.
You can find the original (well, translated into English) nasty versions of fairy tales on the Web. Public domain and all that.
I grew up in the sixties and remember Cinderella’s stepsisters mutilating themselves to fit into the slipper. Do they not get that version these days? Do Hansel and Gretel not cook the witch in the oven?
Nope, and nope. I remember the version of Cinderella that you’re talking about though. ‘Cause we have an old version of Grimm’s Fairy Tales here that I used to read regularly as a kidlet.
True enough- they basically collected the folk stories the peasant story tellers knew (and some from the nobles) and brought them all together. However the book was intended to be a source of German Identity and suited to a noble audience, and the nobles didn’t like the peasant stories full of sex and violence- so those parts got cut out in later editions. Early editions still have that fun stuff though!
One cut off her heel, and the other cut off her toe.
But, really, if the prize was becoming future queen, why not go for it?
The story that terrified me as a child, and I can’t really explain why, was the Goose Girl. It wasn’t gory; it was just a case if stolen identity. Maybe that was it, though: having your whole life stolen.
In one of the versions I own, they cut off a toe and a heel, then when they left the house to accompany their stepsister and prince to the castle, white doves flew down and pecked out their eyes. Then later the Prince asked her stepmom how she’d punish someone over (doing something or other) and she replied, strip them, chuck then into a barrel studded with nails, and drag it behind a while horse. The Prince is like, “COOL! HAVE YOU MET MY NEW WIFE?” and then orders it done to her.
At least his name wasn’t “Hans” There are so many of them in the books, and 99% of the time he’s a douchecanoe.
Was it in Sleeping Beauty that the Evil Queen had to put on red-hot iron shoes and dance till she died? Cos that really freaked me out as a child. I have big feet and shoes always hurt, so it was real personal.
Not since Disney re-wrote all the fairy tales to have family-friendly endings. Do you remember the real ending of the Little Mermaid? The prince marries somebody else and the mermaid kills herself.
To be fair, she’s given a choice- kill the prince with the blade made from her sisters’ hair so his blood splashes on her feet, and she becomes a mermaid again, or throwing herself into the water at sunrise, which is what she does and there she’s caught up by the spirits of the air, who pray over children.
For every tear shed over every bad child, she has a day taken off her sentence, for every good child, she has a year added. something along those lines.
Either way, it’s not her voice that the seawitch took- it was her tongue and she never got it back, even at the end.
I actually found the implications of the Disney version more disturbing. Can you imagine the poor girl’s honeymoon? “WTF is that? Wait…you’re going to do what?”
No, they don’t get the Stepsisters chopping up their feet parts in today’s versions. Nor do they get the Rapunzel gave birth to twins under a bush in the desert version either. Or the version where the Little Mermaid DIES instead of living (I seem to be the only one who remembers seeing the Little Mermaid movie in the late 70s/early 80s where she does die)…
Yeah, kids these days live such sheltered lives.
I have books with the original Grimm’s stories in them. And books for Hans Christian Anderson’s original versions, Scandinavian fairy and folktales, and on and on.}:P
We had a box set of two books of fairy tales: Hans Christian Anderson and The Brothers Grimm. One was red, one green. They had beautiful color pictures. I remember “The Snow Queen” gave me nightmares!
There were 7 of us kids, and my sister got the set. I have since found duplicates in second-hand bookstores and given them to all the rest of my siblings. My kids, and my nieces and nephews, have all been read the real stories.
What can be said, the Prussians were a military unit turned conquerors- you can’t expect their tales to be clean. Combine that with them writing in Marburg, which had been mostly culturally isolated and was still a Gothic-Renaissance town even in the early 19th century, and they got some of the really tasty tales that’d died out elsewhere.
-yes I’ve taken a German Literature course, how can you tell? XD Sorry for the lecture-
(Ah, Deutsche lit. I really do live for that gore. And I love the German sense of humor. Nichtlustig does it for me every time.)
I spent about six weeks in the Harz area of Germany 2007. They love them some Hexen in that area (or at least, you know, they love the profits from the tourism).
Also, I toured the most awesomest castle I toured while in Deutschland (and there were oh, so many castles. A castle on every corner. And where there weren’t castles, there were cathedrals.) at Schloß Wernigerode.
Careful now. Last I checked the hipsters don’t like to wear uniforms, and construction worker would imply having a job, so that’s out. They’re generally pretty scared of real bikers from what I’ve seen too. They could maybe pull off the cowboy, but it would have to be badly executed on purpose.
Great. Now we’re going to get blasted by the don’t-be-so-bunionist-and-you-should-accept-people-with-deformed-feet cupcakes!
p.s. A coworker and I were complaining about having to share a pantry with the sloppy, clueless, never-clean-up-after-themselves department down the hall. “Oh, they’re just cupcakes! Pretentious, selfish cupcakes!” Coworker had never heard the term “cupcake” applied to anyone…and she LOVED it. I can’t introduce her to Regretsy. I know her limits.
I can, but only because I have crazy high arches, which is possibly what Dances-with-Ostriches has. However, trying to match her position gives my foot a painful cramp in less then a second.
Actually, I take some of that back. Despite trying to mimic her, I still can’t match whatever it is she’s done to make her pinky toe migrate up next to her ankle.
It’s basically just foreshortening and pale heel creating an ambiguous form. (I’m an artist, so you can trust me on this. And very little else.)
If this were a charcoal sketch, the artist would have messed with the lighting or just upped the contrast to highlight the difference between toes and underside of foot. As a photograph, it creates enough of a distraction to render the photograph unusable as-is. Though my handy-dandy Photoshop tools could probably fix it.
The color of her eyes is SO shopped. Nobody has chartreuse eyes that bright. Not even my Irish grandma, and she was so Irish burst into flames every time you got her in direct sunlight.
Vampires don’t tend to have bright red hair and the ability to throw a slipper and hit you around the back of the head with it for using the Lord’s name in vain despite you being in the middle of nowhere several miles from their house.
Maybe it’s my degree in English speaking here, but I’m having WAY more trouble with eroticizing The Little Match Girl than the polydactyl Sacagawea up there.
For those not familiar, it is a horrific “fairy tale” about a little girl from a poor home who is forced to sell matches. It’s New Year’s Eve, and very cold. She can’t go home because her father will beat her for not selling any matches. Cold and alone, she curls up in a niche. One at a time she strikes each match, and for the briefest moment she experiences happiness and comfort. As her matches begin to dwindle, she sees a beautiful vision of her departed grandmother in heaven and strikes all the remaining matches in an attempt to hold on to that moment. The next day, the little girl is found frozen to death with a smile on her face.
If that doesn’t extinguish the burning in your loins.. well, I’m sure HKpril has something much worse for us tomorrow. (Oh, I hope. I hope.)
I’m pale with blondish hair. One day at work I was finger-weaving with embroidery floss (work was insanely boring, OK?) when a customer came in, saw what I was doing, and asked if I was an Indian. When I said no, he said “But you’re doing Indian stuff!” I desperately wanted to ask him if he was Scottish, based on the fact that he was wearing plaid, but I didn’t need to give anyone anymore reasons to fire me.
I couldn’t decide if that episode was respectful or not. It showed both sides, but it was extremely oversimplified (being originally a kid’s show, I guess that’s to be expected.) It was awesome though. “The chief and I have reached an agreement.” “Yes. That was the worst performance either of us has ever seen.”
Bronies had a mixed reaction to “Over a Barrel” for the exact reasons you name. In a children’s show (which MLP:FiM presumably still is, sorta), it’s difficult to address issues of substance in 22 minutes without a cop-out resolution to the problem. (The author of this particular episode also received mixed reviews for the other episode they wrote, but I think both are decent.)
Hopefully we can at least agree that a cartoon bison caricature intended to represent indigenous people as a culture rather than a sexy costume choice is at least more “native” than an airbrushed, freshly-waxed blonde tart with her toenails painted pink.
Am I the only one who has Don Armando’s racist disco classic “I’m an Indian Too” going through their brain as they see this??
I mean can’t you see her lost in the wilderness breaking out into the dance of her people, The Hustle, to summon the spirits of bad fringe and horrendous cocaine trips?
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
June 11, 2012 at 3:08 pm
I grew up less than a mile from the largest reservation in Canada, went to school with Natives and have family members that married Natives and I can unequivocally say that this chick does not have a drop of Native blood in her.
…and I’m pretty sure that neither she nor the photographer have even met a real Native, but they probably tell everyone “I’m not racist, I have Native friends.” Yeah, well I’m not fat, there are vegetables in my fridge.
I read through the comments, scrolled back up for a last look, and I thought, wait, $350? For a print? No, it’s… on canvas… nearly 2 ft x 3ft.
Listen, if magazine formats are simply too small to meet your fapping needs, I’m pretty sure you can get a life-size cardboard cutout of your muse of choice for way less than this.
And $50 more to ship it. In 5 to 15 days. I’m sure that’s not inflated for a mailing tube at all.
I’m willing to bet that for $400, you can hire a prostitute to wear a party store headdress for you while services are rendered. This is yet another product where I wish I could have the names and photos of everyone who buys it, as anyone who lets their dick do that much of their thinking for them is a moron I don’t want any contact with whatsoever.
Well Poke-A-Hotness indeed! I hope her kind doesn’t get slaughtered mercilessly by rapacious colonists, but I think it’s too late for that because
A. she’s only a Native American if a tribesperson and a white person did the nasty and
B. in real life, her people CHOOSE to go barefoot-
to sleep in tents at music festivals surrounded by smoke-
to take hallucinogenics not for spiritual purposes-
to keep themselves ‘hygenic’ with all-natural products-
to wear handmade/woven pelts and accessories-
to eat raw foods as long as they aren’t animals-
and they ARE being slaughtered mercilessly. Because they have to pay for indie songs on iTunes and the 1% are totally harshing their mellow.
No, that’s more than cool with me, I say let anybody do the nasty any way they want to and with anyone! (This model probably agrees because free love is coming back into being cool again.) Although I have a sneaking suspicion that her tribal blood is about 0.0%.
OUR MOTTO IS:
FLOW is the menstrual state of creative crappery in which the person is fully drenched in what he or she is doing blah blah blah more pretentious artspeak kerfuffle.
When I first went to the shop I did read it as menstrual state. On accident.
In other news, TITS. Soft core never looked so good! I’m tempted to buy it and eat the damn thing. I would film myself eating it of course and then project the film on the wall of a church or post office. And that would mean something. Because art has meaning, right? Someone? What does this mean? help.
Reading these comments so far, I’ve gone from being mystified by someone thinking this was a good idea to mystified about whether the toenails are pink or orange.
We’re all focusing on the wrong person here. The problem isn’t the model, it’s the photographer. This jackass is so obviously one of those guys who claims he’s a photographer and hands out his card to all the hot chicks at parties, sleazily hoping they’ll actually be naive enough to take his word for it that he’s a professional and posing nude is totally artistic.
The photographer is Polish,and their taste in “art” is… unique, I’ve found. I’d like to recommend a film called “Seksmisja” (Sexmission). Wiki says it’s “a 1984 cult Polish comedy science fiction action film.” I say, “BOOOBIES! Lots and lots of boobies!.” It’s considered to be one of the best Polish films in the past 30 years, and last time I checked, it was available on Netflix.
“MEN! Would you love to whack off to porn of an Indian princess, if only she weren’t so Indian? Then come on over to the International House of Whitewashing! All of the ethnic fetishizing with none of the minorities! Act now – wholesome white girls are waiting to powwow with YOU!”
Her vacant off-to-the-side look makes me wonder if she’s auditioning to be an Etsy admin. She really needs a mustache on a stick to complete the effect.
June 11, 2012 at 1:32 pm
The longer I stare at that forward foot the more confused I get.
June 11, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Is she missing toes or does she have a few extra?
June 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm
It looks like she has an extra, or that she had her feet bound because she’s also totally Chinese too.
June 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm
That is the first thing that popped into my mind… lotus foot!
June 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Oh hell. Everyone knows Native Americans never paint their toenails in porno pink. Ugh.
June 11, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Just one hell of a bunion. Happens to all Native Americans.
June 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm
That’s what I think, too. It could be bad photoshopping from an earlier pose, also…
June 12, 2012 at 3:52 am
Not a bunion. They only happen to your big toes – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunion.
And they fucking hurt!
Daughter has them (at 25!) cos she changed her sensible, mother-bought shoes for crappy don’t fit shoes that she borrowed from her friends when she got to school. At last – something bad I do not feel guilty for!
June 11, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Don’t care. Boobies.
June 11, 2012 at 6:29 pm
Sorry to be boring, but it looks like that’s just her heel – that foot is at (or was photoshopped into – but why?) a weird angle.
Also, holy hell! There are so many things wrong with this conventionally-attractive-presumably-white-woman-as-sexualized-Native-American idea.
June 13, 2012 at 7:26 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 11, 2012 at 1:35 pm
The foot has a thumb…or an old witch chin…
June 11, 2012 at 1:36 pm
It kind of looks like a deformed hand with stumpy little fingers.
June 11, 2012 at 1:38 pm
DITTO. It’s like a gorilla foot, all thumbs and no toes.
June 12, 2012 at 7:01 am
Boy I’d like to hump her Keds…
June 11, 2012 at 1:38 pm
That must be the result of constantly wearing tight, pointy-toed, high-heeled moccasins, OUCH! I am glad I come from the tribe Butchbutstraight, where our traditional footwear is the hiking sandal.
June 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Exactly! The big toe looks painfully deformed from footwear choices, and the smaller toes are squished together giving the appearance of some other digit after the little toe. Ouch is right!
June 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm
I’m a member of that tribe!!
June 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Yikes! I thought my bunions were bad!
June 11, 2012 at 1:52 pm
She has feet? Huh. I didn’t notice.
June 11, 2012 at 2:02 pm
omg, I didn’t notice until I read your comment (there was so much to take in) but now I can’t stop looking at it.
June 11, 2012 at 2:10 pm
My first thought was “what foot?”
I think that’s her heel.
Now I will go back to looking at the interesting parts.
June 13, 2012 at 7:38 am
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June 13, 2012 at 3:46 pm
No, I just think many of the people aren’t as entranced by these really great titties as I am, so they look at the whole picture and notice the feet.
I am back here days later just to check on the comments, of course, not to look at those amazing ta-tas again.
June 11, 2012 at 2:20 pm
It is surely a foot that creates more questions than it answers.
June 11, 2012 at 2:26 pm
It’s a bad case of hammertoe, if you ask me. I had an ex girlfriend who was a professional dancer, and her feet were exactly that kind of mess.
June 11, 2012 at 2:32 pm
My husband was born with a club foot. Even before his corrective surgery, it never looked as fucked-up as that one.
June 11, 2012 at 3:02 pm
I can’t handle feet, I have what might be called anti foot-fetish (or foot-phobia possibly), so with the previous post and this one I’m more freaked and icked out now than I’ve ever been by Regretsy posts..
June 11, 2012 at 3:03 pm
This was meant to be a reply to the first one..
June 11, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Surprisingly this is the first thing I noticed. Like some people should not be allowed to wear swimwear, this woman needs to wear shoes. Even if nothing else.
June 11, 2012 at 4:41 pm
It’s just her heel. The way her foot is turned and arched, you can see the bottom of her foot past her toes. Don’t freak out about a perfectly average foot, people.
June 11, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Yes. It’s just an extremely arched foot, the model putting some weight on it, and a lousy camera angle.
June 11, 2012 at 7:58 pm
Do normal feet actually bend that way??
June 11, 2012 at 6:29 pm
Oh, I get it! It’s foreshortening combined with the really white bottom of her heel.
This effect occurs in the group known as the Palefoot Nation.
June 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm
All of this confusion means the photographer is a dumbass. A viewing of America’s Next Top Model would be helpful for him at this point. You don’t let boobs distract you from a bad foot angle.
June 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm
Okay, that is not to say ANTM is the end-all and be-all of photography lessons, but there is certainly remedial advice on there this photographer could learn from.
June 11, 2012 at 10:53 pm
Yes, what this photo needs is Tyra Banks as the art director.
“Smitoes! You need to be smiling with your toes… let me show you.”
June 11, 2012 at 1:32 pm
She’s from the Slap-a-ho nation.
June 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm
and her name was Poca-hooters.
June 11, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Insert obligatory “smoking the peace pipe” joke here.
June 12, 2012 at 8:36 am
Or Suckayaweena.
June 12, 2012 at 4:57 am
Or Pocahonky.
June 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Speaking as a Lakota Sioux gal, I’d like to point out the disappointing lack of dreamcatchers and howling wolves/full moons.
June 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Not to mention “medicine man” walking sticks.
June 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm
It’s okay. She turns into a werewolf without genitalia any time there’s a sparkling vampire nearby.
June 11, 2012 at 2:16 pm
I saw some dreamcatchers at a gift stand in the Navajo corner of Arizona, and I told the guy I thought they were a Sioux thing. He said they were, but the tourist don’t know that, and he sells what people buy. I’m all for that.
June 11, 2012 at 7:01 pm
No kidding! I go to a local pow wow each year and dream catchers and herbs are practically all you can buy. That, and Indian Tacos. But those are really yummy.
June 12, 2012 at 6:41 pm
Yes. Yes. That picture up there is certainly one fine “Indian” “taco”.
June 13, 2012 at 8:22 am
Dream catchers are sort of a Plains Indian thing, but they’ve been co-opted by truck stop gift shops across the nation.
Fry bread, though. Omigod, I could fuck up some fry bread right now.
June 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm
It’s been a year and a half since I had an Indian taco. It was a great one, from a little trailer kitchen by the side of the road, the way god intended.
June 12, 2012 at 4:05 pm
I thought dreamcatchers were Ojibwe?
June 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm
I was confused by the ostrich feathers until I found a valuable historical document (decoupaged onto a Tide bottle vase) describing how Aboriginal people traded furs for ostrich feathers with the Hudson Bay Company. I learn so much from Etsy I might as well shred this useless degree.
June 11, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Shred it…and glue the shreds onto an empty Pringles can, to represent the fast-food mind-set of today’s educational system and how many chemicals absorb every day without having any control over it…and then maybe add something about the plastic lid being a metaphor for how society puts a lid on our creativity and individuality and personhood.
*shudders at how easily that came to mind without giving it any thought*
June 11, 2012 at 6:03 pm
Here Mugs, have a nice vodka tonic, without the tonic, to make it all better.
June 11, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Thank you. I really needed that!
June 12, 2012 at 12:40 pm
And then upcycle your Pringles creation into a bong. Or peace pipe in this situation.
June 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Man, what is up today? The internet seems to be slightly more racist than usual, and that takes some doing.
June 11, 2012 at 1:34 pm
don’t forget her traditional festive Native American toenail polish…
June 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm
It’s the new Native and Naughty line from OPI. She’s wearing Sudoku Sunrise.
June 11, 2012 at 2:37 pm
I see whatcha did there…
June 11, 2012 at 2:39 pm
You didn’t know that Native Americans invented toenail polish?
June 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm
yeah, quit mocking her cultural heritage. although her manicure is a bit more suspicious.
June 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Hey now. Maybe she builds bookshelves from old scavenged national park picnic benches and old canoes.
June 11, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Those white things are ostrich. Pretty sure ostriches are from a different continent.
I’m just glad there wasn’t a cutsie tomahawk.
June 11, 2012 at 1:40 pm
No, no… it’s the now extinct Ostri-eagle. It’s extinct because it kept trying to hide by sticking it’s head in the sand everytime it saw a bad pedicure and cheesy photo. Needless to say, they all suffocated.
June 11, 2012 at 1:46 pm
There used to be ostriches here, but they were all ostri-cized! Get it?
June 12, 2012 at 7:17 am
I feel you should be booed for this, and yet I find myself pressing the thumbs up button.
June 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm
This was taken when there were still alot of BUFFalo, though.
June 11, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Or muffalo, in this case.
June 11, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I’m particularly amused by the warning not to take imagery that belongs to someone else.
June 11, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Cultural appropriation isn’t subject to copyright laws, fortunately for about 76% of Esty sellers.
June 11, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Which is why the squeals of outrage if you object to the use of swastikas largely come from white New Agers, not Chinese or Indian Buddhists or Hindus.
June 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm
They’ll sue you for all the wampum in your bank account.
June 11, 2012 at 1:56 pm
It had to look up “intellectual” to see if the definition had changed.
June 11, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Naw, it’s totally above board. I memory serves me, I think it’s detailed in Treaty No. 1 signed at Lower Fort Garry with the Ojibwa, Swampy Cree. Up here in Canada, we’ve been profiting from our people since 1871!
June 11, 2012 at 4:50 pm
http://www.iacb.doi.gov/act.html
“The Indian Arts and Crafts Act of 1990 (P.L. 101-644) is a truth-in-advertising law that prohibits misrepresentation in marketing of Indian arts and crafts products within the United States. It is illegal to offer or display for sale, or sell any art or craft product in a manner that falsely suggests it is Indian produced, an Indian product, or the product of a particular Indian or Indian Tribe or Indian arts and crafts organization, resident within the United States. For a first time violation of the Act, an individual can face civil or criminal penalties up to a $250,000 fine or a 5-year prison term, or both. If a business violates the Act, it can face civil penalties or can be prosecuted and fined up to $1,000,000.
“The law covers all Indian and Indian-style traditional and contemporary arts and crafts produced after 1935. The Act broadly applies to the marketing of arts and crafts by any person in the United States.”
June 11, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I am sorry! I am still staring at the breasts…………………….
June 11, 2012 at 1:49 pm
The tan lines are very faint. You have to spend a little time looking for them.
June 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Go ahead, we’ll wait.
June 11, 2012 at 2:16 pm
they are in all honesty pretty nice, in a nostalgic 80s kind of way.
June 16, 2012 at 6:06 pm
Um, they’re pretty much awesome in a no-disclaimers kind of way.
Although I’m curious to know how 80′s boobs differ from modern ones.
June 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm
I’m kind of afraid to mention that here, so I’m glad someone else did.
Pardon me while I scroll back up.
June 12, 2012 at 4:54 am
They are quite pretty.
June 11, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I get it – the toenail polish ruined the authenticity.
June 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm
I feel like the crimped hair also detracts from the authenticity. I didn’t think teepees were equipped with electric outlets.
June 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Authentic Native American crimping irons were heated in the flames of the camp fire.
June 11, 2012 at 3:21 pm
You mean the blonde hair and blue (or green?) eyes didn’t tip you off?
June 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm
As a blue eyed and blondish haired Creek/Cherokee (who is by no means active in Tribal culture) my darkness has been stamped out by the white devil blood.
At least I don’t have to tan!
August 12, 2012 at 11:05 am
My poor husband, who is also a blond Cherokee/Creek individual–how many of you ARE there? I thought that was kind of specific of him–simply turns bright red when exposed to too much sunlight.
June 11, 2012 at 4:09 pm
I kinda got stuck at the pink lip gloss, myself.
June 12, 2012 at 2:40 am
The Inca’s had nail paint/polish in the 1500′s.
June 11, 2012 at 1:36 pm
Some white people disrespecting the Native Americans?
THAT’S PREPOSTEROUS!
June 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I’m just trying to figure out at what time in Native American history they practiced the Chinese are of Lotus Feet.
June 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm
*art. Art, art, art. I blame preggo brain. I also recently tried to stick my coffee cup, complete with ice cubes, in the microwave to brew a cup of coffee in my Keurig.
June 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Wow! They shaved their pits and legs! Who knew? And that must be a traditional cherry/raspberry all-natural toenail polish she’s got going there. And the blonde hair…. oh, fuck it; this is stupid on so many levels I could be here all night.
June 11, 2012 at 2:02 pm
She was taught the ancient art of beauty by Mary McDonnell in “Dances with Wolves.” At least they had a lame backstory for her being nekked in buckskin.
June 11, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Actually, it wasn’t uncommon traditionally for First Nations people to remove body hair (Iroquois men and women, for instance, used mussel shells as tweezers). Also, they are still around, and perfectly capable of going to the drugstore for razors and nail polish.
June 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm
but are they blonde? do they wear persimmon toenail polish as part of their heritage?
and has ostrich become the feather of choice?
so many questions.
June 11, 2012 at 7:10 pm
My husband is 1/4 Native American, and is blonde with green eyes. My step children are blonde, one green eyed and one blue-eyed. The ONLY reason the youngest has brown eyes is because I’m Italian. But the Ostrich feathers are pretty much bullshit.
August 12, 2012 at 11:08 am
The thing is that Native Americans from the East Coast and Midwest and Southeast and all who married white people tended to marry, well, Scots-Irish types. Due to settlement demographics. A couple of generations worth of genes outta the British Isles, and you start getting the blond look coming through no matter what.
June 11, 2012 at 4:04 pm
The objection here is a revisionist portrayal of “traditional” life. We have a lot of Native celebrations here in Oklahoma and, while everyone encourages young people to participate in their heritage, dyed blonde (or any other color) hair and colored contacts are viewed as disrespectful.
June 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm
Oh, I am no fan of the piece in the original posting. But whenever one of these hipster Native fetish pieces gets posted some of the comments by people jumping to an attempted defense of Native culture are also fairly ignorant and offensive. Natives weren’t/aren’t barefoot cavepeople with no technology or cultural advancements of their own, they aren’t all the same, and they shouldn’t be talked about like they’re all extinct now. And comments about how people probably aren’t Native because they don’t look a certain way are borderline racist. Native people don’t all look the same and they aren’t all racial purists either (which, again, is not a defense of this piece, just a reponse to comments).
June 11, 2012 at 4:56 pm
^ This.
June 11, 2012 at 6:14 pm
I agree. But it’s hard to ignore the ugly history of dominant usurpation of minority culture. I’d rather have a condescending but well-meaning defense of traditional culture than people defending Princess Tigerleisl here as a legitimate work “because Native people aren’t all dark, you know.”
When the message you get from white culture is that the way your people look is ugly, it’s not racist to teach your children that they are beautiful. It’s not racist to teach them that the way your people look is what they should aspire to.
June 11, 2012 at 6:48 pm
I don’t think that a person is defending Native culture when they paint it as something entirely different than it is based on nothing but their own imagination.
June 11, 2012 at 10:14 pm
My kids are part native, and they were born extremely blond with green eyes, as was their sperm-dad, who has an even greater percentage of Native blood in him.
Also, everything bethymania said, far better than I was trying to put into words. There’s enough to mock about this image without perpetuating harmful and racist stereotypes.
June 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I didn’t realize that Native Americans practiced footbinding as well.
June 11, 2012 at 1:38 pm
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June 11, 2012 at 1:38 pm
I take it her name is ‘Limps with Bunion’
June 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm
This ranks right up there with hobo weddings as an example of cluelessness (at best) and assholery (at worst) meeting suburban hipsters.
Now pass Princess Walking Douche another PBR.
June 11, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I almost choked on my nyquil over the Princess Walking Douche comment.
Someone should photoshop that in there.
June 11, 2012 at 2:27 pm
eh?
June 11, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Now I’m waiting for the fauxtographer to show up here and tell us we’re all a bunch of racists for not seeing that this girl is 1/52 Shawnee.
/puts on ostrich feather headdress
//takes off shirt
June 11, 2012 at 1:44 pm
No, no, no. Her great grandmother was a Cherokee princess.
June 11, 2012 at 1:55 pm
I’d be more impressed if her grandad had been a Cherokee princess.
June 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm
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June 11, 2012 at 4:14 pm
You’re a moron. Do you even know how we determine Native American heritage in Oklahoma? Rest assured we do, and Elizabeth Warren meets those standards. This is the most Republican state in the country, and there are plenty of people here who’d like nothing better than to take EW down, but they’re not saying jack shit about it, because there’s nothing to be said. So STFU and go back to looking down your nose at us like everyone else does. We might not be good at much, but by God we’re good at being Okies.
And teenage pregnancy.
And making meth.
So I guess that’s four things.
June 11, 2012 at 5:27 pm
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June 11, 2012 at 7:38 pm
Which EEOC laws did she benefit from? Oh, right, none. She didn’t get any scholarships, she wasn’t a preferential hire. Two of her employers chose, after hiring her, to classify her as a minority on their reporting to the federal government.
There isn’t, to date, a story. The emails you guys send around titled “107 more reasons BHO is a MUSLIM TERORIST” aren’t actually media.
June 12, 2012 at 3:23 am
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June 12, 2012 at 7:02 am
I like turtles.
June 11, 2012 at 10:53 pm
Calf fries, circuses in the winter, giant praying hands, and streets named after cool people. Those are three more Oklahoma things.
June 12, 2012 at 4:52 am
As far as I’m concerned, Oklahoma means that my parents in Arkansas need only travel about two miles across the state line to partake of a very reasonably priced casino buffet and the chance to waste about five dollars on the nickel slots.
Southern Arkansas, where my mom’s dad’s people are from, means that, even if the stories about my great-grandmother being part Cherokee are true, there’s no way I’ll ever know, because “that’s not something we talk about.”
Ah, racism.
(And then again, as a woman of mixed ethnic heritage—I’m a quarter Filipina.—I have to say it’s nice to be able to choose whether I want to be white or not, depending on what I get out of it.)
June 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Standing on tuna cans to see five miles farther! Does that count? I visited Oklahoma, and while the people were absolutely wonderful and amazing, I was SO homesick for my East Tennessee mountains.
June 12, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Oklahoma isn’t flat. If you want flat try visiting the prairie provinces.
Here’s one of my favorite jokes about Canada (that I made up, anyway):
You know that hill between Winnipeg and Calgary? Just kidding.
June 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm
I wouldn’t call this a fauxtographer. The photography is professional; it’s the subject matter that’s faux.
June 11, 2012 at 4:54 pm
A real photographer wouldn’t have a woman’s foot looking like that. That’s a bad and awkward pose. If they did, it’d end up in the rejects pile, not as a $350 print.
June 11, 2012 at 1:40 pm
I’m always somewhat disappointed that people who rip off native American artwork aren’t more creative. The actual Native designs are way more beautiful and intricate than these shitty hipster photos would have people believe. But then, if they were any kind of creative they wouldn’t be ripping off native cultures and clumping them into ugly, stereotypical photos either.
June 11, 2012 at 1:52 pm
THIS. When I was little, I used to strip the needles off the sago palm in my parents yard and pant them, so I could try to do woven quill patterns. Needless to say it very much did not work, but I’ve always thought quillwork was completely gorgeous. I’d love to see something creative done around that.
Instead, Princess Pokey-Tatas. :/
June 11, 2012 at 1:52 pm
er…PAINT them. Not sure how you can put pants on a palm needle, but then, I’m sure I tried. :/
June 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Sounds like a new Etsy winner to me. They could be a discount if you buy them together with a snail sweater.
June 11, 2012 at 2:10 pm
And a chicken poncho.
June 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm
you are way over-rating my creative skills, but I love you for it.
June 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm
No kidding. I own a few pieces of native artwork that I purchased from actual tribe members who made a living off their craft, and I often just look at it really closely and try to figure out how the Hell they did it.
June 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Elizabeth Warren: The College Years
June 11, 2012 at 1:44 pm
“Insert Elizabeth Warren joke here”
June 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I’m trying to be annoyed at the listing, but I am enjoying her tits far too much.
June 11, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Thank you! I was asking myself if I was the only one staring at the boobies, while everyone else is worried about feet.
June 11, 2012 at 3:15 pm
The little bit of lady-boner going on when I saw boobies was completely eradicated by those feet. Eeeeeew.
June 11, 2012 at 5:16 pm
I didn’t even notice her feet because boobs. Also, boobs.
June 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm
If you ignore her feet, I think she’s pretty hot.
June 11, 2012 at 1:42 pm
She must be from the lost tribe of Hitachi.
June 11, 2012 at 1:52 pm
+1 for Simpsons reference.
June 11, 2012 at 1:42 pm
It seems to me that at some point either the photographer or the model would see the problems with this, but I guess not.
And in the other “Native American” picture in their shop, where she’s in the rain or something, her expression is somehow so fucking hilarious to me, but I can’t pinpoint why.
June 11, 2012 at 3:30 pm
I don’t know why, maybe it’s her “O” face? But the addition of rain makes it officially glorified porn for me. There’s only so many tits before you go from art to fetish.
June 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm
“There’s only so many tits before you go from art to fetish.”
It’s when there are more than two per person that a line gets crossed, I think.
June 11, 2012 at 6:23 pm
You win 10,000 internetz for funniest comment of the day!
June 11, 2012 at 6:24 pm
Also, if it’s an odd number more than one, I am almost certain that qualifies as fetish.
June 11, 2012 at 8:10 pm
As one who has favorited some weird-ass photoshopped body types on deviantart, I’m firmly of the opinion that it can be both.
I’m not sure naked tits in the rain on a green-eyed blond counts as “fetish,” though. Unless she’s also taking it up the tuchus from an anthro dragon.
June 12, 2012 at 1:12 am
Well, the rain is falling up, so there’s that.
June 11, 2012 at 1:43 pm
she has a foot?
June 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm
I love how your avatar is squinting, looking for the foot.
June 11, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Nice casual racism/tits combo.
June 11, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Just found this:
“Take the headdress OFF!”
June 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Whoopsie, no embed.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o5A0VGvnXg
June 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Rick Mercer and Graham Greene together in one spot?!?!?!
Be still my beating heart!
Thanks for posting that! Hilarious!
June 12, 2012 at 1:31 pm
I have no words for how much I adore this, and you for bringing it to me.
June 11, 2012 at 1:44 pm
This is why I love me some Regretsy. There this chick is, buck naked (pun intended) and all we can focus on is her fucked up, gross hobbit feet. I think I’ve found my internet home.
June 11, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Speak for yourself. Some of us have our priorities straight, so to speak.
June 11, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Something is straight all right.
June 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm
That headdress looks like a standing rib roast.
June 11, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Damn. Now I’m hungry and I don’t have enough beads for a good buffalo-and-Swiss sammich.
June 11, 2012 at 1:47 pm
my god! she has chimpanzie feet.
June 11, 2012 at 1:48 pm
And don’t forget the greatest contribution by Native American tribes to our society today: The use of nail polish.
June 11, 2012 at 1:48 pm
I am sorry, but that Wikipedia description is so inaccurate. You cannot rely on it, that’s just stupid. Because everyone knows to be truly a Native American girl, you have to sit quiet like and reveal your boobies to the universe. It is what going native means. Stupid Wikipedia.
June 11, 2012 at 8:11 pm
I feel like Boobies To the Universe should be an album name.
June 11, 2012 at 1:48 pm
LOL, they have “erotic art” of “The Little Match Girl!” Seriously, I’m all for creative fantasies, but it seems like a story about a child freezing to death in the snow doesn’t work with the whole “erotic” thing.
June 11, 2012 at 1:51 pm
The erotic art of Typhoid Mary sold out in minutes.
June 11, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Damn Rule 34.
June 11, 2012 at 1:53 pm
HCA left out the fact that the Little Match Girl had a tramp stamp.
June 11, 2012 at 2:20 pm
What’s the one on the front called…
June 11, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Tart Art
June 11, 2012 at 3:32 pm
A sure thing detector.
June 11, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Well, at least the pictures make it obvious why she froze to death.
June 11, 2012 at 2:19 pm
She should have spent less on eyeliner and more on pants.
June 11, 2012 at 1:51 pm
If she’ll put her clothes on, New York promises to sell back Manhattan.
June 11, 2012 at 1:56 pm
I so want that Wiki page to be the actual page. So lie to me and tell me it is.
June 11, 2012 at 2:06 pm
It is, Kestris, it truly, truly IS! (Have I ever lied to you? No. No, I haven’t.)
June 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Whee! My life is complete! }:P
June 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Wow, now I have to dig out my books because the husband has never heard of The Little Match Girl, nor has he heard the original version of Rapunzel or Sleeping Beauty- though this shop’s photo is quite possibly truer to the original tale than they know.
But he did enjoy a good laugh at the Native American girl pictured above.
June 11, 2012 at 2:27 pm
You can find the original (well, translated into English) nasty versions of fairy tales on the Web. Public domain and all that.
I grew up in the sixties and remember Cinderella’s stepsisters mutilating themselves to fit into the slipper. Do they not get that version these days? Do Hansel and Gretel not cook the witch in the oven?
June 11, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Nope, and nope. I remember the version of Cinderella that you’re talking about though. ‘Cause we have an old version of Grimm’s Fairy Tales here that I used to read regularly as a kidlet.
June 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Me too! The original version in German is even bloodier. The Brothers Grimm were all about scaring kids into behaving ‘well’.
June 11, 2012 at 8:17 pm
From what I understand, the stories that the Grimms drew on and cleaned up (!) weren’t intended for children at all, but adults.
Hence all the sex and violence.
June 12, 2012 at 10:16 am
True enough- they basically collected the folk stories the peasant story tellers knew (and some from the nobles) and brought them all together. However the book was intended to be a source of German Identity and suited to a noble audience, and the nobles didn’t like the peasant stories full of sex and violence- so those parts got cut out in later editions. Early editions still have that fun stuff though!
June 11, 2012 at 6:49 pm
One cut off her heel, and the other cut off her toe.
But, really, if the prize was becoming future queen, why not go for it?
The story that terrified me as a child, and I can’t really explain why, was the Goose Girl. It wasn’t gory; it was just a case if stolen identity. Maybe that was it, though: having your whole life stolen.
June 11, 2012 at 8:13 pm
Well, the version I read had a talking severed horse head. Was that in yours? That definitely freaked me the fuck out as a kid.
June 12, 2012 at 1:34 am
In one of the versions I own, they cut off a toe and a heel, then when they left the house to accompany their stepsister and prince to the castle, white doves flew down and pecked out their eyes. Then later the Prince asked her stepmom how she’d punish someone over (doing something or other) and she replied, strip them, chuck then into a barrel studded with nails, and drag it behind a while horse. The Prince is like, “COOL! HAVE YOU MET MY NEW WIFE?” and then orders it done to her.
At least his name wasn’t “Hans” There are so many of them in the books, and 99% of the time he’s a douchecanoe.
June 12, 2012 at 3:41 am
Was it in Sleeping Beauty that the Evil Queen had to put on red-hot iron shoes and dance till she died? Cos that really freaked me out as a child. I have big feet and shoes always hurt, so it was real personal.
June 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Not since Disney re-wrote all the fairy tales to have family-friendly endings. Do you remember the real ending of the Little Mermaid? The prince marries somebody else and the mermaid kills herself.
June 11, 2012 at 5:40 pm
To be fair, she’s given a choice- kill the prince with the blade made from her sisters’ hair so his blood splashes on her feet, and she becomes a mermaid again, or throwing herself into the water at sunrise, which is what she does and there she’s caught up by the spirits of the air, who pray over children.
For every tear shed over every bad child, she has a day taken off her sentence, for every good child, she has a year added. something along those lines.
Either way, it’s not her voice that the seawitch took- it was her tongue and she never got it back, even at the end.
June 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm
And I may know a wee bit much about fairy tales… Heh.
But then, they originally were written for adults afterall.
June 11, 2012 at 7:10 pm
I actually found the implications of the Disney version more disturbing. Can you imagine the poor girl’s honeymoon? “WTF is that? Wait…you’re going to do what?”
June 11, 2012 at 5:36 pm
No, they don’t get the Stepsisters chopping up their feet parts in today’s versions. Nor do they get the Rapunzel gave birth to twins under a bush in the desert version either. Or the version where the Little Mermaid DIES instead of living (I seem to be the only one who remembers seeing the Little Mermaid movie in the late 70s/early 80s where she does die)…
Yeah, kids these days live such sheltered lives.
I have books with the original Grimm’s stories in them. And books for Hans Christian Anderson’s original versions, Scandinavian fairy and folktales, and on and on.}:P
June 11, 2012 at 5:56 pm
We had a box set of two books of fairy tales: Hans Christian Anderson and The Brothers Grimm. One was red, one green. They had beautiful color pictures. I remember “The Snow Queen” gave me nightmares!
There were 7 of us kids, and my sister got the set. I have since found duplicates in second-hand bookstores and given them to all the rest of my siblings. My kids, and my nieces and nephews, have all been read the real stories.
June 12, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Disney is doing a new movie called ‘Frozen’ based off the The Snow Queen tale.
I’m cringing already because that’s one of my favs.}:(
June 11, 2012 at 8:02 pm
I’ve seen the movie you’re talking about, actually have a copy of it on VHS after “borrowing” it from a video store many years ago…
June 11, 2012 at 8:19 pm
Or where the prince rapes Sleeping Beauty and it’s giving birth that wakes her up. No mere kiss, that!
June 12, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Yes! I tried telling my husband about that and he… just looked at me like I was nuts.
June 12, 2012 at 4:59 am
In my German-language Grimm’s Märchen, they totally do. It’s my favorite. I live for all the good old-fashioned Prussian gore.
*happy sigh*
June 12, 2012 at 10:35 am
What can be said, the Prussians were a military unit turned conquerors- you can’t expect their tales to be clean. Combine that with them writing in Marburg, which had been mostly culturally isolated and was still a Gothic-Renaissance town even in the early 19th century, and they got some of the really tasty tales that’d died out elsewhere.
-yes I’ve taken a German Literature course, how can you tell? XD Sorry for the lecture-
June 14, 2012 at 1:59 am
(Ah, Deutsche lit. I really do live for that gore. And I love the German sense of humor. Nichtlustig does it for me every time.)
I spent about six weeks in the Harz area of Germany 2007. They love them some Hexen in that area (or at least, you know, they love the profits from the tourism).
Also, I toured the most awesomest castle I toured while in Deutschland (and there were oh, so many castles. A castle on every corner. And where there weren’t castles, there were cathedrals.) at Schloß Wernigerode.
June 11, 2012 at 2:15 pm
It’s the actual page. Honest injun…
June 11, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I cant wait to see the Policeman, Biker, Cowboy, and Construction Worker ones.
June 11, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Careful now. Last I checked the hipsters don’t like to wear uniforms, and construction worker would imply having a job, so that’s out. They’re generally pretty scared of real bikers from what I’ve seen too. They could maybe pull off the cowboy, but it would have to be badly executed on purpose.
June 11, 2012 at 2:13 pm
You said “pull off the cowboy”! *giggles*
June 11, 2012 at 2:14 pm
I envision lots of hot pink fringe.
June 11, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Isn’t the weirdness of her foot just her heel at a funny angle?
June 11, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Try putting your foot into the position (assuming you have normal feet, that is). It’s a huge ol’ honkin’ bunion!
June 11, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Great. Now we’re going to get blasted by the don’t-be-so-bunionist-and-you-should-accept-people-with-deformed-feet cupcakes!
p.s. A coworker and I were complaining about having to share a pantry with the sloppy, clueless, never-clean-up-after-themselves department down the hall. “Oh, they’re just cupcakes! Pretentious, selfish cupcakes!” Coworker had never heard the term “cupcake” applied to anyone…and she LOVED it. I can’t introduce her to Regretsy. I know her limits.
June 11, 2012 at 7:13 pm
I can, but only because I have crazy high arches, which is possibly what Dances-with-Ostriches has. However, trying to match her position gives my foot a painful cramp in less then a second.
Actually, I take some of that back. Despite trying to mimic her, I still can’t match whatever it is she’s done to make her pinky toe migrate up next to her ankle.
June 12, 2012 at 5:03 am
It’s basically just foreshortening and pale heel creating an ambiguous form. (I’m an artist, so you can trust me on this. And very little else.)
If this were a charcoal sketch, the artist would have messed with the lighting or just upped the contrast to highlight the difference between toes and underside of foot. As a photograph, it creates enough of a distraction to render the photograph unusable as-is. Though my handy-dandy Photoshop tools could probably fix it.
June 11, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Feet? She has feet?
June 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm
The color of her eyes is SO shopped. Nobody has chartreuse eyes that bright. Not even my Irish grandma, and she was so Irish burst into flames every time you got her in direct sunlight.
June 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Are you implying that this photo is inaccurate in some way?
June 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Not entirely. She doesn’t appear to have implants.
June 11, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Jury’s out on that one. She seems to have defined edges on the inside of her cleavage.
If they’re implants, they’re nicely done but hardly authentic!
June 11, 2012 at 4:04 pm
in her toe.
June 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Was it that she was Irish or a vampire?
June 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Vampires don’t tend to have bright red hair and the ability to throw a slipper and hit you around the back of the head with it for using the Lord’s name in vain despite you being in the middle of nowhere several miles from their house.
June 11, 2012 at 2:10 pm
God bless the Aim of the Irish!
June 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm
And all us Irish sons who lived in fear of our grandmas. Hell had NOTHING on her wrath.
June 11, 2012 at 3:16 pm
In that case I must be adopted. I always thought I was Irish-American (as I do sunburn like one!) but my cat throws better than I do.
June 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm
It doesn’t kick in until you become a grandmother and have rebellious grandkids.
June 11, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Oh well damn. I’m sterile. So much for my MLB dreams (which didn’t really exist anyway).
June 11, 2012 at 2:09 pm
The orange toenail polish is another authentic touch! Good to see Etsy sellers are so thorough..
…ly craptastic!
June 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm
My sister in law is a big Tinkerbelle fan. I simply MUST get THIS ONE for her for her birthday.
Although, I think the brother in law might enjoy it more than her.
June 11, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I love how the seller shows it in a room.
June 11, 2012 at 2:19 pm
I think they took a page from REgretsy in that regard.
And my how THe Little Match Girl has grown up… she must be from one of those undead fairy tale versions.
June 11, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Did you see one of the Sleeping Beauty? http://www.etsy.com/listing/93065152/fairy-tale-erotic-art-photography-on
Not sure why the photographer does a call-out on the lips and then doesn’t mention them in the copy.
I’m reminded of Anne Rice’s Beauty series and am annoyed because AR is so annoying.
Thanks a lot, pretentious racist photographer!!
June 11, 2012 at 5:41 pm
LOL, Anne Rice’s Beauty trilogy is what I thought of second to the real fairy tale.
June 11, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Maybe it’s my degree in English speaking here, but I’m having WAY more trouble with eroticizing The Little Match Girl than the polydactyl Sacagawea up there.
For those not familiar, it is a horrific “fairy tale” about a little girl from a poor home who is forced to sell matches. It’s New Year’s Eve, and very cold. She can’t go home because her father will beat her for not selling any matches. Cold and alone, she curls up in a niche. One at a time she strikes each match, and for the briefest moment she experiences happiness and comfort. As her matches begin to dwindle, she sees a beautiful vision of her departed grandmother in heaven and strikes all the remaining matches in an attempt to hold on to that moment. The next day, the little girl is found frozen to death with a smile on her face.
If that doesn’t extinguish the burning in your loins.. well, I’m sure HKpril has something much worse for us tomorrow. (Oh, I hope. I hope.)
June 11, 2012 at 7:19 pm
I think the photographer was familiar with the story, but then asked himself “You know what would make this better? T&A!” He was wrong, of course.
June 11, 2012 at 2:46 pm
It’s the Tinker Bell one that gets me! Nothing invokes the erotic side of fairy tales like pixie wings from the dollar store?
June 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm
The first thing my eyes were drawn to was her freakish right foot. Good to know I’m not the only person, judging by the comments.
June 11, 2012 at 2:12 pm
i wonder if they will shoot a photo of her sitting Indian style for me.
June 11, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I’m pale with blondish hair. One day at work I was finger-weaving with embroidery floss (work was insanely boring, OK?) when a customer came in, saw what I was doing, and asked if I was an Indian. When I said no, he said “But you’re doing Indian stuff!” I desperately wanted to ask him if he was Scottish, based on the fact that he was wearing plaid, but I didn’t need to give anyone anymore reasons to fire me.
June 11, 2012 at 2:15 pm
June 11, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Judging by her vacant stare, feathered hair, and neon orange pedicure I’m guessing she belongs to the whataho tribe native to the Jersey shore.
June 11, 2012 at 2:28 pm
June 11, 2012 at 5:34 pm
I couldn’t decide if that episode was respectful or not. It showed both sides, but it was extremely oversimplified (being originally a kid’s show, I guess that’s to be expected.) It was awesome though. “The chief and I have reached an agreement.” “Yes. That was the worst performance either of us has ever seen.”
June 11, 2012 at 6:36 pm
Bronies had a mixed reaction to “Over a Barrel” for the exact reasons you name. In a children’s show (which MLP:FiM presumably still is, sorta), it’s difficult to address issues of substance in 22 minutes without a cop-out resolution to the problem. (The author of this particular episode also received mixed reviews for the other episode they wrote, but I think both are decent.)
Hopefully we can at least agree that a cartoon bison caricature intended to represent indigenous people as a culture rather than a sexy costume choice is at least more “native” than an airbrushed, freshly-waxed blonde tart with her toenails painted pink.
June 11, 2012 at 6:49 pm
Amen!
June 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm
Also; poor Pinkie. She has feelings too, y’know!
At least Dashie enjoyed the performance, judging from the wingboner. Subtle, but I suspect that was intentionally added by the animators…
June 11, 2012 at 2:36 pm
I can’t get that song by War out of my head.
“The six-toed kid was a friend of mine.”
June 11, 2012 at 2:40 pm
This is definitely not putting her best foot forward!
June 11, 2012 at 2:41 pm
“Hush! Injun womun hear sound of twigs breaking in forest … buzzing of many Dremels in distance … “
June 11, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Am I the only one who has Don Armando’s racist disco classic “I’m an Indian Too” going through their brain as they see this??
I mean can’t you see her lost in the wilderness breaking out into the dance of her people, The Hustle, to summon the spirits of bad fringe and horrendous cocaine trips?
June 11, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Ms. Abramowitz also has a line of Special Headdresses under the Etsy shop “Zoo the Jioux”.
June 11, 2012 at 3:08 pm
I grew up less than a mile from the largest reservation in Canada, went to school with Natives and have family members that married Natives and I can unequivocally say that this chick does not have a drop of Native blood in her.
…and I’m pretty sure that neither she nor the photographer have even met a real Native, but they probably tell everyone “I’m not racist, I have Native friends.” Yeah, well I’m not fat, there are vegetables in my fridge.
Fucking hipsters.
June 11, 2012 at 3:44 pm
I’m going to have to use that now. “I’m not fat, there are vegetables in my fridge.”
June 11, 2012 at 4:33 pm
…as long as you use it with FJL pride!
June 11, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Stolen.
June 11, 2012 at 3:15 pm
And like most Native American Women she has applied New Pink Button to her nipples.
June 11, 2012 at 3:27 pm
I wasn’t aware that they cast Taylor Swift in the new ‘Dances With Wolves’ sequel.
June 11, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Don’t say that…the way the film industry is going these days I dread the thought that could really happen.
June 11, 2012 at 3:27 pm
I read through the comments, scrolled back up for a last look, and I thought, wait, $350? For a print? No, it’s… on canvas… nearly 2 ft x 3ft.
Listen, if magazine formats are simply too small to meet your fapping needs, I’m pretty sure you can get a life-size cardboard cutout of your muse of choice for way less than this.
June 11, 2012 at 3:38 pm
A cardboard cutout will also be easier to wipe clean.
June 11, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Cons:
1. Absorbent.
2. Cardboard papercuts are horrific*.
(*Don’t ask how this owner of a life sized cardboard Jean-Luc Picard knows that.)
June 12, 2012 at 1:55 am
And $50 more to ship it. In 5 to 15 days. I’m sure that’s not inflated for a mailing tube at all.
I’m willing to bet that for $400, you can hire a prostitute to wear a party store headdress for you while services are rendered. This is yet another product where I wish I could have the names and photos of everyone who buys it, as anyone who lets their dick do that much of their thinking for them is a moron I don’t want any contact with whatsoever.
June 11, 2012 at 3:29 pm
I’m impressed by everyone’s observational skills. I didn’t even realize she had feet and wasn’t Native American until I clicked on the comments.
I looked at the boobs, looked at the price tag, decided to pass, and looked at the boobs for awhile longer.
All of you are correct, her feet are weird and she’s not Native American, but you know… boobs.
Boobies.
June 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm
NAtive Americans invented false eyelashes, too. Wow.
June 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm
Well Poke-A-Hotness indeed! I hope her kind doesn’t get slaughtered mercilessly by rapacious colonists, but I think it’s too late for that because
A. she’s only a Native American if a tribesperson and a white person did the nasty and
B. in real life, her people CHOOSE to go barefoot-
to sleep in tents at music festivals surrounded by smoke-
to take hallucinogenics not for spiritual purposes-
to keep themselves ‘hygenic’ with all-natural products-
to wear handmade/woven pelts and accessories-
to eat raw foods as long as they aren’t animals-
and they ARE being slaughtered mercilessly. Because they have to pay for indie songs on iTunes and the 1% are totally harshing their mellow.
June 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Natives and white people can’t do the nasty together?
June 11, 2012 at 4:01 pm
No, that’s more than cool with me, I say let anybody do the nasty any way they want to and with anyone! (This model probably agrees because free love is coming back into being cool again.) Although I have a sneaking suspicion that her tribal blood is about 0.0%.
June 11, 2012 at 5:23 pm
What, no brownface? Man, it’s like these people aren’t even TRYING anymore.
June 11, 2012 at 5:28 pm
I have a response to Glitter Tears Crying Eagle here:
On a separate and lesser note, why isn’t this filed under cultural appropriation?
June 11, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Ooh! Let’s see who can come up with the best “Indian” name for her. My entry is above.
June 11, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Shitting Bull.
June 11, 2012 at 6:16 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 12, 2012 at 1:58 am
The only jokes to be had are at the expense of real Natives, eh?
June 11, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 12, 2012 at 8:32 pm
I guess the low comment rating is because Lotus Foot is actually Chinese. sorry.
June 11, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Any excuse to appear topless. Guess she figured “Girls Gone Wild” wasn’t artsy enough.
On a lighter note, I think I saw those earrings at Cost Plus last weekend.
June 11, 2012 at 6:44 pm
If only someone had grabbed the photographer by the face and said, “Don’t… do this…”
June 11, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Also, to everyone involved in the creation of this… “art.”
June 11, 2012 at 7:02 pm
OUR MOTTO IS:
FLOW is the menstrual state of creative crappery in which the person is fully drenched in what he or she is doing blah blah blah more pretentious artspeak kerfuffle.
When I first went to the shop I did read it as menstrual state. On accident.
In other news, TITS. Soft core never looked so good! I’m tempted to buy it and eat the damn thing. I would film myself eating it of course and then project the film on the wall of a church or post office. And that would mean something. Because art has meaning, right? Someone? What does this mean? help.
June 11, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Immediately made me think of this:
http://imgur.com/gallery/9Ksfo
June 11, 2012 at 7:19 pm
My God, that Wikipedia entry is Genius!!
I can also see adding under ‘notable Native Americans’: Summer Brown, smokes out of a peace pipe bowl
June 11, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Cherokee People is my jam. I apologize to no one.
June 11, 2012 at 7:53 pm
OH GOD THERE’S MORE!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/93145243/native-american-erotic-art-photography?ref=v1_other_2
June 12, 2012 at 3:09 am
That one looks like Thing is about to pounce on her eyeballs.
June 11, 2012 at 8:29 pm
Reading these comments so far, I’ve gone from being mystified by someone thinking this was a good idea to mystified about whether the toenails are pink or orange.
June 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm
Bring back the eagle that says DAS RACIST.
June 11, 2012 at 10:04 pm
We’re all focusing on the wrong person here. The problem isn’t the model, it’s the photographer. This jackass is so obviously one of those guys who claims he’s a photographer and hands out his card to all the hot chicks at parties, sleazily hoping they’ll actually be naive enough to take his word for it that he’s a professional and posing nude is totally artistic.
June 12, 2012 at 1:21 am
The photographer is Polish,and their taste in “art” is… unique, I’ve found. I’d like to recommend a film called “Seksmisja” (Sexmission). Wiki says it’s “a 1984 cult Polish comedy science fiction action film.” I say, “BOOOBIES! Lots and lots of boobies!.” It’s considered to be one of the best Polish films in the past 30 years, and last time I checked, it was available on Netflix.
June 12, 2012 at 2:13 am
“MEN! Would you love to whack off to porn of an Indian princess, if only she weren’t so Indian? Then come on over to the International House of Whitewashing! All of the ethnic fetishizing with none of the minorities! Act now – wholesome white girls are waiting to powwow with YOU!”
I’m going to go puke now.
June 12, 2012 at 4:42 am
There isn’t anything about this that isn’t terrible. It takes some kind of special talent.
June 12, 2012 at 9:35 am
We call white girls dressed like Native Americans (pppfffttt) “Nab-a-hoe”.
June 12, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Maybe she’s just working on her future Playboy Spread….She wants to make sure she doesnt forget her roots, or whoever’s roots they may be.
June 12, 2012 at 6:57 pm
Her vacant off-to-the-side look makes me wonder if she’s auditioning to be an Etsy admin. She really needs a mustache on a stick to complete the effect.
June 12, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Hipster porn.