Sitting Bull
Yesterday, I posted a $30,000 fiberglass Iron Throne replica for sale in the HBO store.
While I realize that a throne featured in A Song of Resin and Fiberglass may be a be a bit out of reach for most of us, I’m happy to report that Etsy offers a beautiful assortment of very special chairs for your mother’s basement, which according to the Etsy forums, is where you people live.
I’m pretty sure that was just the Tivo downloading new software.
“TOILE” IS MY SAFE WORD
It’s nice, but you can’t sit in it until after 5:00.
It can say, “hot glue gun” in two different languages.
TASTE IS SUBJECTIVE
June 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm
I’m sure the creator of the Lick – n – Sit Tongue chair will be hearing from Gene Simmons’ lawyer very soon.
June 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Or the Free Face guy. Who would want to buy it.
June 7, 2012 at 1:56 pm
My first thought too~!
June 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm
I was going to say “there’s only one tongue I sit on” but since HK made that post, I really don’t feel like publicizing him any further.
June 7, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Only if he found it attractive… but he does have unique taste in chairs!
June 8, 2012 at 2:31 am
Yeah, he really needs it. Imagine sitting on a Lick-n-Sit while being eaten out by the Free Face Guy. It could totally become his trademark!
June 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm
He might want to pick up the ‘vibration raising chair’ that thing could steal clients from him if it works as advertised.
June 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm
did it need to be a pierced tonque as well
June 8, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Well they do feel nice. The only two things it’s missing are:
1. an ice cube pillow
2. any possible reason someone might want to own it
June 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 7, 2012 at 1:47 pm
I’m sensing someone (yes, I’m pointing to you!) with serious control (freak) issues, and I’m not even sitting in the Atomic Chair. Just saved myself $12,500. Win-Win!
June 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm
Lack of safe words are for rapists.
June 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm
What a
greatpick-up line:“I will build a chair for you. You give me a sense of purpose, for you have gone into my head.”
OMG.
You ARE the blue light.
June 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm
The Blue Light Specials have really gone sideways.
June 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Intense blue light in our home?
He lives in a KMart?
June 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm
It’s all part of Kmart’s aggressive new marketing campaign.
June 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Okay. That last chair is a MUST for the Louisville Licker.
June 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Can I get it died in weird blue?
June 7, 2012 at 4:28 pm
I beleive [sic] so!
June 7, 2012 at 7:42 pm
for only the “attractive” applicants to sit in. It’s near as scary as a dentist’s chair.
June 8, 2012 at 6:45 am
Like The Louisville Licker, the chair seems to have herpes blisters on the tongue.
June 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I think they’ll sell pretty quickly; you know what they say – chair today, gone tomorrow.
June 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm
If that Atomic chair is a gift, why are they asking so much for it? Oh, wait, it’s because the blue light told them to.
June 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Aren’t you just re-posting the headshots from the Pee Wee’s Playhouse casting call?
June 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm
1) New age Foosball table deconstruction.
2) Does this come with red silk rope? It has to match my couch.
3) Does this come in sweet potato?
4) My I wondered where my junk jewelery box and that can of gold spray paint went!
5) SEE PREVIOUS POST
June 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm
It does come in sweet potato with butter pillow, unfortunately cinnamon & sugar is extra…
June 7, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Blue potato? I might want a blue shibari chair getup. it must match.
June 7, 2012 at 6:38 pm
three potato, four!
June 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm
I must have that potato chair! With chives!
June 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm
YES. My inner fatass (Meaning my outer fatass.) was like “I CAN EAT FOOD, I CAN SIT ON FOOD. FOOOOD.“
June 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm
I desire it as well. I challenge you to potato eating contest for it, and I warn you that I’m pregnant and hungry.
June 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm
That potato chair is just a little bit awesome. And it’s making me hungry.
June 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm
I’m holding out for bacon. Mmmm BACON MAKES ME ALL CAPSLOCK!
June 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm
There’s a bacon scarf in the store.
June 7, 2012 at 4:30 pm
If you eat a baked potato while sitting in the baked potato chair, will the world explode?
June 7, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Potato-ception
June 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Only if you are a nun drinking Droste cocoa.
June 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm
It IS awesome! That’s the sort of thing Etsy AUGHT to be about. Creative & handmade. Should have bacon though. And cheese. And sour cream. Maybe an afghan in rust, white & orange would cover that.
I would likely have bought the hell outta this back in my teens.
June 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm
DAMMIT, *now* I want a loaded potato. Managed to escape it before but you just *had* to go and throw in some bacon, didn’t ya’?
June 8, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Having sex in the baked potato chair can add sour cream. Please note I said IN the chair not WITH the chair ever since the My Little Pony plushie one has to be very specific
June 7, 2012 at 3:53 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one that liked it, it is wonderful!
June 7, 2012 at 7:38 pm
My husband agreed that if it were less expensive, we would buy it. Not that we think it’s over-priced (it looks well worth every penny), but we just can’t afford it right now. I wish I were seeing this right after tax-rebate season.
June 7, 2012 at 6:40 pm
the bacon should be the small occasional table that sits next to the chair.
And the cheese and sour cream should somehow be a lamp. Or a rug.
June 10, 2012 at 11:16 am
Hmm, I was thinking the bacon should be a blanket. I see no reason I can’t have cheese and sour cream pillows, too.
June 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Do you reckon they’d do one with baked beans?
June 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm
FINALLY! Something to match my bed!
(source credit: http://hamburgerbed.com/ )
June 8, 2012 at 8:21 am
Looking at that makes me really hungry. Or sleepy. I get them confused.
June 8, 2012 at 9:51 am
one usually follows the other, and is then followed by the other.
June 7, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Of all the chairs up there, at least the potato looks comfortable.
June 8, 2012 at 1:42 am
True dat. Otherwise, whatever happened to comfy chairs? The Spanish Inquisition can’t have ALL of them.
June 7, 2012 at 4:12 pm
If I had more than 268sqft to call home, that potato chair would be on a fed-ex truck and on it’s way here. It would look awesome with my giant vintage ’12″ HOT DOG’ hot dog stand sign.
June 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm
Agreed but I ain’t paying extra for chives. What about bacon bits?!
June 7, 2012 at 8:09 pm
I’m tempted to buy it for The Boy (my husband.) He loves beanbags and has an addiction to food, and the butter pillow is too adorable.
Now I just need someone to loan me 250$…
June 8, 2012 at 10:13 am
I keep picturing what the potato chair would look like without the blanket and pillow…it’s not pretty.
June 8, 2012 at 9:57 pm
It’s lining, not a blanket – so no one ever has to find out unless you really feel like photo-shopping!
June 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Is it just me, or does the tongue chair look ‘shopped?
June 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm
A good airbrush artist can make it look that way (and not PS airbrush tool). Google airbrush art and you’d be amazed at what talented people can do.
June 8, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Yes, but what about the people who made this chair?
June 8, 2012 at 8:53 pm
You know what, on closer inspection I take that back. Someone did a HELL of a job painting that thing. I’d like to see their work on something less horrifying.
June 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Crystals not included? Well, then forget it.
Also, I love the baked potato beanbag chair.
June 7, 2012 at 2:58 pm
I love it too
June 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Thank you…exactly my thoughts. No crystals? Well, just to hell with that! Screw your damned blue light; my chakras must be satisfied!
June 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm
TATERS, PRECIOUS!
That beanbag is fucking awesome.
June 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm
More like fucking DELICIOUS!
June 7, 2012 at 9:39 pm
Their whole shop is awesome. I was flipping through it and got “If I Had a $1,000,000″ stuck in my head, because if I did have $1,000,000 I’d buy everything in that shop. I’d have me a food room and commission them to make me a sub sandwich couch or something.
June 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm
“Marion, don’t look at it. Shut your eyes, Marion. Don’t look at it, no matter what happens!”
June 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm
$12,500 chair and the seller couldn’t be bothered to include crystals?!
What a rip-off!
June 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Aw, beaten to the punch by trippingchristy.
That’s what I get for not reading the comments before I post.
June 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Yes, but you DO get a symbol in the middle of that atom that looks a little White Power-y.
June 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm
“The Society of Amputee Nazis”?
June 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Searching my brain instead of Google, that looks like a symbol for the Isle of Man.
Ooo, mystical!
June 8, 2012 at 3:08 pm
That symbol was the first thing I noticed. You think it looks “a little White Power-y”? That’s because it’s the symbol of the Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging (Afrikaner Resistance Movement). They are South African Neo-Nazis.
June 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm
The Crystals must stay because they bring the blue light into the sellers head
June 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Atomic Chair’s nasty plywood back really gives it that “I saw the blue light at K-Mart” feel… I also like that they put the Pyramids backdrop there. Can we “See It” other interesting places? Like At The Landfill?
June 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm
OH! We MUST see it in lots of other places! I have no computer skills but now I’m hoping like MAD that somebody will help us out. I’d like to see it flying, as a metaphor for astral projection or whatever he’s talking about.
June 8, 2012 at 1:55 pm
View It In A Room, please!!
June 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm
WHOOMP! Chair it is!
June 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm
I know it’s not official or anything but you’ve gotten my comment of the day award. It is known.
June 7, 2012 at 2:55 pm
It is known
June 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm
I would prefer to hold out for the Cereal Bondage art piece – a large bowl of fruit loops rope-bound in the ancient Japanese art form known as Bullshita.
June 8, 2012 at 6:30 am
Convo me!
June 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm
I believe there is a special someone out there, who will take care of any attractive woman who is clean down there, who’d like that tongue chair.
June 7, 2012 at 1:47 pm
*adds “because the blue light went into my head” on list of things to tell the judge*
June 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm
*adds “because the blue light went into my head” on list of things to say to get out of jury duty
June 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Except in Queens, NY, courts. Those clerks are hard-ass and won’t accept anything short of death as an excuse and for that you have to send a notarized letter three weeks before your jury duty or death, whichever comes first.
June 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Not so sure. Kevin Smith couldn’t get out of jury duty with a severe anal fissure.
June 7, 2012 at 1:47 pm
I wonder how many of those started as Ecologica Malibu’s boats?
June 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm
You need to get the tongue and the baked potato(which is awesome btw) arrange next to each other so the tongue looks like it is licking the baked potato,
Then you need to put your house up for sale and install a hidden camera so you can watch the Realtor try to explain it away to prospective buyers.
June 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm
When I sit naked it’s a little tongue in cheek
June 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm
I prefer to have my vibration raised swiftly and violently, thankyouverymuch.
June 8, 2012 at 12:29 pm
Convo me
June 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm
“…construct the components of this chair and then its assembly”
’cause having the parts of a 12,000 dollar chair strewn about the living room would just look odd.
June 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm
The atomic chair appears to have foosball table handles on the sides, how much more awesome would it be if it could flip open to reveal a hidden foosball table?!
June 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Then it might be worth… half… of what they’re charging for it.
June 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Do you suppose the bilingual, Fool’s Gold chair and the tongue chair get together for regular coffee klatsches?
June 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm
So, if you pay $3000 for a tied up Louie the 14th toile chair, will the seller come to your house and rig it up from your ceiling? Because for that price the install better be included!
June 8, 2012 at 8:10 am
depends where you live
June 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Love, Love, Love the Potato chair. What could I possibly use for the bacon bits? Ummm…bacon…
June 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Little brown corduroy pockets sewn onto it, where you can store your remote, cel, kleenex, crack pipe, bag of skittles or whatever else you keep near when watching TV.
June 7, 2012 at 6:45 pm
You are an evil genius.
June 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Maybe drape the bacon scarf they have in their shop over it.
June 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm
I fucking love the potato bean bag chair. I would curl up in it after my day of indentured servitude, I mean low-wage office work and not come out until the next morning or until someone hollered free vodka.
June 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm
The potato bean bag chair is awesome! I think it’s clever they added the yellow square pillow to be the butter. If I had the money I would totally buy that.
June 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm
“St. Germain along with the Arkangels helps to control the intensity and velocity of the Atomic Chair so that you can raise your vibration to the next level without significant discomfort. ”
What does this even mean? Where is the chair going and how fast would it normally travel if St. Germain and the Arkangels (also my new band name) weren’t helping control the velocity/intensity?
Is ‘crystals not included’ just code for ‘bring your own meth to properly experience this chair?’
June 7, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I thought the “arkangels” spelling was fitting, but I would totally love some seller to double down on their spelling mistakes and tal about arcangles someday.
June 7, 2012 at 5:14 pm
My BS-to-English translator says, “I got hold of some bad weed. Mighta been poison oak.”
June 8, 2012 at 3:35 am
“after the appearance of a very intense blue light in our home”
My BS-to-English translator says:
“After the police raided the meth lab in our basement.”
June 8, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Totally unrelated, but apparently some woman just got busted in a Walmart for carrying what police believed to be a portable meth lab.
Speaking of meth labs.
June 8, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Little known fact – Noah’s daughters were a crime-fighting force, known as the Ark-Angels.
June 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Have you guys looked at the beanbag seller’s other items? Mmmmmm . . .
Waffle and Syrup Sheets w/ optional Fruit Pillows
Slice of Pizza Sleeping Bag w/ Optional Veggie Pillows
June 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm
I am kind of in love with this person! I want fruit pillows!
June 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm
I have the seller in my favs. They’ve got some very clever ideas, and I am slowly saving up for my own pizza sleeping bag.
June 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm
THANK you for the heads-up! I love the waffle with all my heart and soul! Look at the little end-thingie on that blueberry- perfection!
June 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm
New favorite seller right here. I fucking adore food themed things.
June 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm
This entire shop is a smorgasbord of functional delight. It seriously makes me clap my hands and go eeeheehee! And I’m sure I’ll have some whimsicle dreams later tonight, but instead of sugarplum fairies it’ll be dancing pizza camp-outs and flowing bacon scarves and buttery potato chairs and sweet waffle beds.
I so wish we could have Half-Christmas in July.
June 7, 2012 at 4:17 pm
I’m totally ordering a smorgasbord comforter.
June 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Ugh. Another seller photo-ing their stuff on the floor.
Get a lightbox!
June 7, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Aw man, it was a joke… ’cause they’re all so BIG.
Where’s my nutella… *sniff*
June 7, 2012 at 6:43 pm
OMG I must have a waffle sheet for my bed! That way I won’t be a slob who never makes the bed, I will be displaying ART!
June 7, 2012 at 7:40 pm
This seller is *genius*! I wonder if you can add a scent- mmm, bacon.
Random, but true, our dairy store has bacon icecream. It’s awesome. (but so’s near everything with bacon)
June 8, 2012 at 8:26 am
I kind of want to wrap myself up in that pizza, taco-style.
June 8, 2012 at 8:29 am
Or is it burrito-style? Then just bury me under the potato chair and don’t come get me until noon. zzzzz
June 8, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Which just totally made me want to go to there:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/1447
June 8, 2012 at 10:38 pm
LOL I watch that and start out with a serious craving for a taco and by the time the pizza is added I’m over it. The blueberry pancake kills it for me. But I would totally try that up until the pizza.
June 8, 2012 at 11:50 am
Great. Now I’m hungry.
June 8, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I want to decorate my family room with all of this.
June 8, 2012 at 1:47 pm
I actually loved that baked potato chair. That seller has some neat things.
Too bad I’m a poor college girl…
June 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Chives not included?! Facists.
June 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm
And thanks to Mayor Bloomberg, no sour cream.
June 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Actually I appreciate that they add them only on request: raw onions make me burp so I would definitely get it without.
June 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Please send the lick-n-sit chair to the Louisville area…
June 7, 2012 at 2:07 pm
That potato chair remind me of the “it’s always sunny in Philadelphia” where Charlie makes a taco bed.
June 7, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Okay, I think we have to agree that baked potato chair maker has actual talent. And if I had a kid, which I never will, I would totally buy them a pizza sleeping bag. I’m not shaped anything like that, so it would not work for me unless it was big enough to be a Macy’s Parade Float.
June 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm
That beanbag made me hungry. Mmmmmm, BUTTER.
June 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm
With regard to the first one – someone’s read too much Philip K Dick.
June 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Is that what it’s referencing? I was actually gonna give that description a pass, as it seemed to be genuine crazy instead of pretensious this-is-how-I-imagine-artists-talk faux crazy, and also because the product is AWESOME. But christ, am I sick of second-hand Phillip K. Dick.
June 8, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Second hand Dick – I see what you did there
June 8, 2012 at 8:31 pm
The seller is actually referencing Theosophy and its various concepts.
June 7, 2012 at 6:46 pm
I believe Philip K Dick wrote like that due to heavy drug use.
June 8, 2012 at 3:30 pm
According to Wikipedia, amphetamines, and lots of them. Somehow he survived to 53 before he had the stroke.
Maybe the seller is just naturally crazy and will live longer, producing overpriced nutty chairs with entertaining descriptions to a ripe old age.
June 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Not gonna lie: I want that Beanbag chair. One day I will have a room filled with food-themed items.
June 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Didn’t you just get married? So…not to late to set up a wedding registry.
June 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm
I did! It wasn’t a full on ceremony though. We just got the papers, and everyone gave us video games/money for our wedding. This seller’s stuff is going on my ‘If you want to get me an awesome present’ list though.
June 8, 2012 at 8:49 pm
BRILLIANT
I want to get married now just so I can register at Fry’s Electronics/Newegg.com (the happy couple will need a new networking setup, obviously!).
June 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm
too late to set up…
/derp
June 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Oh my god, I wish I had ridiculous amounts of money. I’d buy every damn one of these chairs, and set them up around a large version of the Star Trek table from a few months back, and I’d host dinner parties – for school administrators, and the Jehovah’s Witnesses who come around regularly, and co-workers, and the local Republican party members.
Now to plan the menus….
June 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm
I’m sorry, that atomic chair looks GREAT. It would make a great prop for a movie where the main character loses all their money in a pyramid scheme.
June 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Not to pick nits or anything (unless you guys think there might be a market on Etsy for used nits), but I didn’t spend hours watching Stargate SG1 for nothing. If I remember anything other than Christopher Judge without a shirt on, I happen to remember that you need to die in order to ascend. I imagine the electrical cord and metal seat are tastefully obscured for the photo.
June 8, 2012 at 6:37 am
That’s the first thing I thought of, too, when I saw that line about ascending. And now you’ve made me smile thinking of Christopher Judge without his shirt on. Thank you.
June 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Crystals not included!? Screw that, then.
And the tongue chair? Free Face guy *needs* that – if he can get an “acceptably cute” lady to sit in that for their “arrangement”, he’s found the future Free Face.
…
Or something. Yeah…that sounds weird. …cause the *rest* of the post totally does *not*. Sure.
June 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm
April, have you spent your day looking for erotic tongue chairs? That would be…kinda awesome, frankly.
Gods, but I’m twisted. Regretsy: weeding out nutters since 2009!
June 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm
You tyo’d my friend: Regretsy weeds out the NON nutters!
June 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm
OMG I typo’d “typo’d” what a tool!
Anyhow, Regretsy: where the creepy people are!
(And that’s a very good thing)
June 7, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Well…I’d go for the whole “separating the wheat from the chaff” bit, but I’m not sure which one we’d be…
Maybe I should’ve said “Regretsy: [bringing] out the nutters since 2009!”
June 8, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Muphrey’s Law: Any post correcting spelling or grammar will contain a typographical errer.
June 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm
One time I thought there was a mysterious blue light in MY home. I woke up to pee in the night & saw it shining out of the livingroom, kinda flickering. Turns out I had accidentally muted the TV when I headed to bed, rather than shutting it off.
June 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Oh man, can you imagine being invited to be a quest on one of those terrible political commentary shows where people yell at each other a lot, and the set is full of those chairs? Like, even the bondage one. And no one else seems to notice, they just keep yelling about Obama being an alien and interupting each other and you’re trying to promote your book or whatever and all you can think is, Why am I sitting on the pope’s shitter? Why is that man on a tongue-themed dentist’s chair? What is going on here?
June 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm
You should make that a short film. It would be beautifully unsettling!
June 8, 2012 at 12:03 pm
You’ve managed to keep your mouth shut about the chairs and focus on the issues at hand, like the evils of Planned Parenthood group rate abortions, and you’re about to walk of stage and they are thanking you for your time, and then the host is like, dude, did you even notice the chairs? And all the other guests are like, yeah, what’s wrong with you? Are you just completely comfortable with this? Is this how you people live? In baked potatoes? Christ, you’re sick.
June 8, 2012 at 1:25 pm
“TOILE” “TOILE”!!!
June 7, 2012 at 2:28 pm
I wish the tongue one, if they HAD to put arms, had made the arms teeth-like. Or transparent plexiglass. As is, the arms just spoil the illusion.
June 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm
The first one is begging to be made into a fake Journey album cover.
Suggestions for album title?
June 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm
“Open Arms”?
June 7, 2012 at 2:49 pm
“Don’t Stop Reclinin’”.
June 7, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Chair on Radio
Trial by Chair
Arkangel
That’s all I’ve got for now.
June 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm
I want that baked potato beanbag chair. I regret nothing.
June 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm
I WANT A BAKED POTATO CHAIR. It’s easy on the “eyes”.
June 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm
…and easy on the thighs.
June 7, 2012 at 3:12 pm
From earlier posts on Regretsy, I know someone else who’s fairly easy on the thighs.
June 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm
I want a baked potato beanbag chair, too. And I do live in the basement…but it’s my house and it’s the only way my fat, jealous ass can have a moment to myself.
June 8, 2012 at 1:43 pm
We spend a lot of time in our basement as well, but then – it’s freakishly cool in the summer/warm in the winter. I do believe our house is built on some weird franken-soil.
June 7, 2012 at 3:04 pm
If you’re going to build a crazypants psycho chair after the blue light enters your head, do it right:
The Throne Of The Third Heaven Of The Nations Millennium General Assembly
This is in the Smithsonian. Seriously.
Plus it’s way better than the stuff-glued-to-other-stuff chairs above. Though I do love the potato chair, and that tongue is turning me on…
June 7, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I thought of that, too. But James Hampton sure had a better sense of workmanship! Plus he wasn’t trying to make tons of money from his stuff. He believed.
June 7, 2012 at 3:10 pm
If I wanted to prove to my friends that I am the mad, mad ruler of the universe, I would buy that “Serial Bondage” chair. And rule from it.
Now where did I put my Swiss bank account number? I need a little over $3000 in funds…
June 7, 2012 at 3:11 pm
I remember thinking that Target’s designers line of home furnishings was awkward. Now I see that I’m just leading a very sheltered life.
June 7, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Hang on a moment. If that first chair is ‘a gift to Earth and humanity from the 7th Ray’, why is Ray asking $12,500 for it?
The seat really worries me. If you weigh more than an Arkangel, and I suspect many of us do, then you’ll be through the cheap plywood seat in no time, and end up on the point of the pyramid. That wouldn’t be pretty.
And those wings are crooked.
June 7, 2012 at 3:20 pm
I feel stupid that I have to ask, but… what happens if you sit in your potato beanbag before 5? [cries like Troy in Community]
June 7, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I think it’s referencing the fact that baked potatoes are usually a dinner item at restaurants and not available until after 5:00 pm.
Obviously, those people go to a better class of restaurant than Wendy’s!
June 26, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I was wondering about that myself. Because I was thinking of getting one for my office cubicle. Then when people were mean to me, I could say “All y’all just jealous of my baked potato chair!”, and they would have to admit that yes, they are jealous. Because that chair is awesome.
June 7, 2012 at 3:20 pm
The Fool’s Gold chair looks a bit uncomfortable, what with the gold angel-ballerina thing jamming into your crotch while you sit. And the candle just beneath it, to get the cherub nice and hot before she brands your tender bits. I also like that while you’re burning your junk on the angel ballerina, you’re also sitting on the lute-playing angel’s face, and if you’re using the armrests, you can make yourself an accurate replica of Jesus’s stigmata holes. Sacrelicious.
June 7, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Your screen name…the result of a mixed marriage, perhaps? I’m not judging, just curious.
June 8, 2012 at 9:45 am
More or less, yes. The first half was part of a nickname I was given by an asshole ex-boyfriend, and the second half is because dinosaurs are fucking rad. So I basically repurposed an insult into something much more awesome.
June 9, 2012 at 11:15 am
Finally—repurposing that’s better than the originals!!!!
June 7, 2012 at 5:09 pm
When I looked at that chair, the first thing I thought about was how uncomfortable it would be to sit on a cherub’s face. Especially if I was feeling particularly gassy.
June 7, 2012 at 4:01 pm
I really like the baked potato chair. I imagine Rincewind must also approve.
I wouldn’t mind a collection of chairs that looked like baked goods.
June 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Could he have it………..mashed?
June 7, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Damn just saw the shipping for the potato chair. $50. Oh but hey! It goes down to $50 with another item!
June 7, 2012 at 7:17 pm
Well, imagine the weight & volume… it seems crazy to ship a beanbag! I’m sure they could sell just the wrapper and let you obtain your own beanbag locally.
June 7, 2012 at 8:21 pm
Sadly, I thought about this. But have you ever opened up a beanbag chair? All those little styrofoam beads repel each other because of the static electricity. I unzipped mine between my weed smoking and hentai watching days and that bridged the gap handily. It’s an instant giant white fountain that clings to everything.
Now if you need me, I’ll be in my bunk.
June 7, 2012 at 5:41 pm
Forget “sent from my iphone”,
“Please convo me if you are interested in having chives included” is my new email signature.
June 7, 2012 at 6:01 pm
The Serial Bondage 6 person must have watched Three Extremes…a lot. But that was actually cool.
June 8, 2012 at 8:08 am
nope never watched what, I’m just really into Japanese culture and being French makes me open and interested in erotism I guess…
June 7, 2012 at 6:27 pm
I feel that that first chair is something that Giorgio Tsoukalos will sit in, as he ascends into the heavens to be with his alien brothers.
June 7, 2012 at 8:29 pm
Is it just me, or are the blue wings on the Atomic chair crooked? And the design on the seat… It may be because the chair is angled in the picture, but I looked at the sellers other photos, and I don’t think so. Not that the angle is deal breaker, because really, the whole CHAIR is a deal breaker. But, it’s fucking with my OCD. Now I’m going to have to drink another glass of wine. ((sigh))
June 7, 2012 at 8:32 pm
The baked potato chair is amazeballs.
June 7, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Misread: “some violation from the chair in the picture will occur.” Oh, Regretsy, how you’ve warped my expectations.
June 8, 2012 at 8:55 pm
If you want that you have to pay $59.95 for the optional Canadian incubus to be ritually bound to it.
June 7, 2012 at 9:00 pm
Unfortunately I don’t have $12,500, because I NEED that atomic chair for doing Reiki! I can just imagine the amazingness.
June 7, 2012 at 9:03 pm
I like the golden Jesus one, too, but I’m afraid my pubes would catch fire.
June 7, 2012 at 9:38 pm
I’m actually kind of in love with that baked potato chair. But then again my mind is always thinking about FOOD and how GOOD FOOD IS so that’s kind of expected.
Cheeto throw pillows, anyone?
June 7, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Who needs a chair when you have a sleeping bag like this?!
June 8, 2012 at 12:35 am
THE CHUMBUDDY!!!!
My friends and I all want one, so we can play “Shark Attack Victim”.
June 8, 2012 at 8:56 pm
I want one! Good thing I’m too big to fit in it or I’d be seriously tempted.
June 7, 2012 at 10:51 pm
Yeah I totally just bought a blueberry pillow
for myselffor my boyfriend from the Etsian who makes those potato chairs. Her shop was just TOO AWESOME and I couldn’t resist.June 7, 2012 at 10:58 pm
How excited am I to realize that I could definitely make the baked potato bean bag chair? NEW SUMMER PROJECT.
June 8, 2012 at 12:51 am
I want all of them. Luckily, I live in a company truck, which prevents me from swapping out the the seats.
June 8, 2012 at 5:41 am
“People who have experienced the Atomic Chair have changed there lives forever.”
Cringe!
June 8, 2012 at 8:57 pm
That was the only part that made you cringe?
June 8, 2012 at 6:19 am
Random trivia:
The word “Jouy” (in “toile de Jouy”) is an homophone of some forms of the french verb “jouir” which means “to enjoy” or “to come” (in the sexual sense).
I might be able to make something funny out of it if I wasn’t that lazy.
June 8, 2012 at 9:48 am
and that’s exactly why I used a chair in toile de Jouy!
June 8, 2012 at 10:12 am
That makes sense but I figured the pun was lost to non-french speakers
Thanks for your answer.
June 8, 2012 at 10:32 am
I’m glad you explained this French innuendo
June 8, 2012 at 1:32 pm
innuendo translates to “in your end, though”
June 8, 2012 at 9:56 am
All I can ever think of when I see “weird chairs” is:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/540076210.html
June 8, 2012 at 10:04 am
I somewhat adore all of these chairs. The Fool’s Gold one is possibly my favorite–too bad I’m not bilingual…
June 8, 2012 at 8:58 pm
No, silly, the chair does that for you.
June 8, 2012 at 10:26 am
Can it change the size of the taste?
June 8, 2012 at 10:33 am
Like most of you, I like the baked potato beanbag and the ChumBuddy is brilliant. The wings on the angel chair are definitely crooked – for that price you’d think they would take the trouble to paint them on straight.
The downside of reading Regretsy at lunch & breaks is that I always end up shooting an entire orange segment out my nose or something. Someday I will choke to death while reading about forks downcyleed into hipster mustaches.
June 8, 2012 at 10:34 am
Oops – I meant downcycled.
June 8, 2012 at 11:45 am
Wait, chives not included? Well, can I have bacon bits instead? Not even going to ask about sour cream…
June 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm
That poor chair is gonna get raped.
What happened to the five that came before it? I probably don’t want to know.
June 8, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Last time I sat down in a fancy chair and felt an explosion within me, I shat my pants.
Can I get a guarantee from the maker of the Atomic Chair that that’s not the type of explosion she was talking about?
June 8, 2012 at 2:09 pm
I now want to turn a room in my house into a jambalaya ball pit.
June 9, 2012 at 1:38 pm
I really like the baked potato one. The butter pat pillow is cleaver. That’s what makes Regretsy so great–I can like something lame and get seriously abused or ignored for it, and we can all still be friends!
June 9, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Fat, jealous friends.
June 10, 2012 at 11:48 am
The potato chair person must be a fan. Check out the shop again!
October 11, 2012 at 10:54 am
the chair is bilingual?! I will use this in the future