IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTER
You magnificent bastards have made Bronc one of Southern California’s top 50 fundraisers for this year’s AIDS/Lifecycle!
That means he not only gets a jersey, a windbreaker and a hat, he also gets a solar charger for his phone!
And that will come in very handy tonight when he’s icing his taint in a tent in the middle of Shitsville, and wants to share.
Thanks again!
June 3, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Other than a deserved sense of satisfaction (on top of meeting his fund-raising goal), what does he earn if he wins the race?
June 3, 2012 at 4:12 pm
The satisfaction of a job well done, plus a hemorrhoid pillow.
June 3, 2012 at 5:07 pm
The limitless adoration of one amazeballs fiance, four adorable dogs, and legions of loyal fans. What more could a man want?
June 3, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Actually it’s not a race. It’s just a matter of completing the journey, not who comes in first. It’s like Etsy, where Everyone’s a Winner!
June 3, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Oh Esty, you so silly.
June 3, 2012 at 4:12 pm
Fuck that J Tyler Cassity: He so obviously cheated!
June 3, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Written like a true FJL!!
June 3, 2012 at 5:25 pm
His total reminds me of the joke about the woman who decided to whore herself out to help pay the bills. She came back the first day with $275.10
Her husband was aghast. “What cheap bastard gave you ten cents?!”
“They all did.”
June 3, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Tyler Cassity runs the Hollywood Forever cemetery and was the inspiration for the David Fisher character on “Six Feet Under”. Maybe he got sponsored by a lot of dead people?
I remember Roddy Bottum from the band Imperial Teen. Bronc might be the only heterosexual man on this list.
June 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm
Tyler Cassity was a consultant on Six Feet Under, but the Fishers aren’t based on him.
He’s highly connected & very rich, even though all his ventures haven’t been as successful as the revamp of the Hollywood Memorial Park into Hollywood Forever, with all the hipster extras. I think he has plenty of live friends to draw on for $$ – he used to be fairly closeted, but I don’t think that’s been the case for some years now.
June 3, 2012 at 4:18 pm
#3 Roddy Bottum =Ruddy Bottom LOL
Wow. Even Bronc’s real name sounds made up.
June 3, 2012 at 4:23 pm
I was honestly searching the entire image for ‘Bronc Drywall’. All this time and I never knew. Damn.
June 3, 2012 at 4:47 pm
John Foley would make a great porn name. just sayin’
June 3, 2012 at 5:18 pm
*cracks out the old camcorder* I’m an excellent fluffer(not to too my own horn… though for a twenty I can…) and if he needs taint icing… I don’t easily get grossed out and have very warm hands… that is all.
June 3, 2012 at 7:18 pm
How do you fluff with an avatar like that?
Also: I keep thinking of the kinds of cupcakes that have taint icing. If you know what I mean.
June 4, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Matt Foley makes a great motivational speaker’s name.
June 3, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Any discussion of Bronc’s taint brings me running…
June 3, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Bronc’s taint with a little icing? Ooh… (faints)
June 3, 2012 at 5:18 pm
I genuinely LOL’d at the mental image of him icing his taint.
June 3, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Icy Taint was Louisville’s least favorite Drag Queen in the early 80s.
June 3, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Such an amazing thing to do! Happy to have donated. I am going to watch them all go through Ventura and maybe make a big BRONC MAFUCKIN DRYWALL sign or something. That way his co-cyclists won’t know it’s him and I won’t embarrass him or myself too badly. Congrats and good luck, Bronc!
June 3, 2012 at 6:19 pm
awww, but the embarrassment is so much a part of the fuckery!
June 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm
Don’t be more than 85% naked and keep the props to a minimum.
June 3, 2012 at 5:49 pm
The list should go by best looking. Then he wouldn’t even need us.
June 3, 2012 at 6:05 pm
There are some great names up there for my next novel. Randy Phillips…Jason Krech…Christopher Poore…John Jude Duran…
todders off to start a new novel she won’t finish….
June 3, 2012 at 8:49 pm
That reminds me of a recent ep of Bob’s Burgers. Where Atina had run out of ideas in writing fan fic. So she started writing friend fic.
will you be writing Bronc and Helen fanfic?
I would be interested in being a beta reader.
You could even include the crazies, Dror, Towel Mike.. The possibilities are endless.
June 4, 2012 at 3:59 am
You mean master-beta reader?
June 4, 2012 at 8:23 am
I see what you did there.
June 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm
*blink*
Interesting . . . I know an author who wrote a story about black-market beagles. Would you also, by chance, be into Brittanys and agility? If so, I am an LJ acquaintance whom you met in Vegas, and “Kyasarin” is the Japanese pronunciation of my name. Do we know each other?
June 4, 2012 at 4:40 am
I’m oddly fascinated by Aaron Alan.
That’s a lot of A.
June 3, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Well done. He deserves a loving cup of champagne. Or maybe make that a sitz bath….
June 3, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Word!
June 3, 2012 at 8:18 pm
Well done!! Did you make sure to gluegun a lucky troll to his handlebars?
Now that Bronc’s tuned up, here’s the next event:
http://www.horsetalk.co.nz/news/2011/11/202.shtml
June 3, 2012 at 8:21 pm
I can’t be the only one here who immediately googled his actual name… right?
June 4, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Nope
http://www.popejohnpaulii.org.uk/images/PJP2-Archbishop-John-Foley.jpg
P.S. I don’t know how to link images
June 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm
Ice that taint… Ice it good…
June 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm
HK and BD are so “G”. And that might mean good or it might mean sumpin’ else, bitches.
June 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm
So who’s already working on the hemorrhoid pillow?? I have a hard time believing this hasn’t happened already. Kniti, Princess Buzzkill??? Anyone??
June 4, 2012 at 8:03 am
I’m still burnt out from making boob-scarves, and I didn’t see the memo…
If I can do one with flesh-colored muslin, I’m in.
June 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm
I must know, when icing a taint does one use butter cream or a glaze?
June 4, 2012 at 2:39 am
Buttercream icing is disgusting. No one in the real world uses buttercream. Everyone knows that. Also, buttercream does not exist.
Wankers…
Perhaps this will help too:
June 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm
You use this, with some glitter stirred in:
June 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm
That was supposed to be a reply to aliceblue’s comment. I fail >_<
June 4, 2012 at 3:35 am
Every time I see Bronc’s real name I think “Oh wow, she’s engaged to the guy from CCR”, then I realize it’s ‘Foley’, not ‘Fogerty’.
June 4, 2012 at 8:15 pm
Heh, I immediately thought, “wow, you’re John Foley? I bet you miss England Dan, huh?”
June 4, 2012 at 9:02 am
This rocks! I’m not dissing the 50K collectors, that is a buttload of money for a good cause. I would love to see some pictures of the throng on the road. All kinds of pain for all kinds of good works.
As a personal plug, I’m competing for a Viking sewing machine that I’m pretty sure goes to charity (mine is currently a fancier model). If anyone wants to vote, for free, no registration, I have the link in the April’s Army Forum. Top 20 vote getters are juried for the winner.
June 4, 2012 at 10:25 am
Damnit, if only you could have waited till pay day… Oh well, I suppose having no time is what being a modern gay man is all about. All else fails I donate to your other charity, keep your awesomeness coming. Fucking love you Ms. Killer.
June 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm
If you had told us he was going to be in ranked by donations we would have at least got him to top ten!!
June 4, 2012 at 8:18 pm
Who is this John Foley bastard AND WHERE IS BRONC??
June 5, 2012 at 9:01 am
You mean Bronc Drywall isn’t his real name?
June 5, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Shoot I would go by Bronc Drywall if that was my real name.. Also it fits the body type better.
June 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm
“icing his taint in a tent in the middle of Shitsville”
bravo!