FROM THE MAILBAG
Helen,
My Petja Palooza Swag bag arrived today, and exceeded all my expectations.
My Mother happened to be over, so of course I had her model my favorite item. Then we had a fist fight over who gets to keep it.
Handcut Petja Beard by Naffrodisia • Sex toys and discount code from Extreme Restraints
I’m off to update my Match.com profile with information of my newly acquired cock ring and 20% off coupon for sex toys. Wish me luck!
Forever yours in fuckery,
Heather
Helen,
I got my new license plates today, bitchez!
- Cheryl
Dear Helen,
I purchased the Lil Wayne Knobs and I am SOOOOO excited!
We live just outside of New Orleans, so Lil Weezy is kind of a big deal around here. And we have just remodeled our kitchen in a french country style – very traditional. I thought they would look PERFECT on a few cabinet doors in our kitchen.
I was right!
Now my kitchen is the most gangsta kitchen ever… except Lil Wayne’s kitchen, cause he’s in it.
Much Love and Fuckery,
Angel
Dear Helen,
I saw this on eBay, and I thought of you.
When applying for a job with Vegans, make sure to wear your wool suit jacket!
- Brian
Helen,
When you featured me for the CF4L Octopi, I sent my parents the link. They were proud of me, since I haven’t accomplished much in life.
I made $500 that week, which was just enough to bring my parents up for a tiny wedding ceremony (and send their asses back to Florida).
As a thank you, I wanted to send you something special. We’ve always said my father resembles Robert DeNiro with a bad haircut, so here’s a picture of him, the night before my wedding, in my stilettos, pinching his nipples.
Dear Helen,
Today’s post reminded me of this piece of artwork hanging in the halls of a local Catholic College. It is a life-sized Jesus made entirely out of yarn, stuffed with straw (I think) and nailed to a large wooden cross.
I assure you, It’s much more horrific in person. I didn’t want the nuns getting upset so I wasn’t able to pose my kids in front of it, but it’s gigantic, with Jesus maybe being 6 feet tall not counting the arms or cross.
Cheers!
-Nikki (Keeping the God in OMFG)
Hi April,
It looks like Etsy has added more keywords in response to customer demands. Thought you’d get a dainty lady-boner out of the first one.
CF4L,
Hi Helen,
I know Christmas is over and everything, but I just got around to eating my Russell Stover Caramel Santa, and I was hoping you could help me understand what part of him I got exactly.
Thanks,
Jenny
Hey, thanks for the great suggestion, gmail.
- Lindsay
May 25, 2012 at 9:34 am
runs spastically to add whimsicle to her keywords!
May 25, 2012 at 9:40 am
I gather “fuckery” is already long available?
May 25, 2012 at 10:09 pm
Other keywords showing up in my shop’s stats since my Regretsyfication: “Level 4″, “vajazzle”, “goatse” and of course, “CF4L”.
I haven’t received any notifications from Natalie about any of those, though … yet.
May 25, 2012 at 9:38 am
I’m just glad Heather’s favorite item wasn’t the cock ring. That might have been a little awkward for her mom to model…
May 25, 2012 at 9:56 am
Except her mom actually posed with it. My mom would have blushed and then yelled at me for being so vulgar as to even have something like that in my possession. We were a very repressed Catholic household.
Some of you fuckers have way cool parents!
May 25, 2012 at 10:26 am
Mine were Lutheran but I’ll bet you anything they were more repressed than yours. My mom froze — as did the ambient temperature — when my [then] soon-to-be SIL referred to her brother as a “turd.”
May 25, 2012 at 10:44 am
You can overcome a repressed childhood. I grew up believing “crap” and “crud” were naughty words, and heaven forfend anyone saying “oh, geez” in my mother’s house. Fast forward 30 years, and when my second son was born, the nice nurse asked my first son (aged 4 1/2) what he thought we should name the baby and he replied “Turd Rocket.” Of course, that’s only his MIDDLE name…
May 25, 2012 at 10:53 am
Oh, it totally can be overcome. Add lousy to the list of bad words not allowed in my house. Now the f-bomb is every other word in my everyday conversation. Now if only my husband could overcome his repressed Protestant upbringing…
May 25, 2012 at 11:59 am
i once dated a guy who’s parents were so uber-religious that i couldn’t even say “good lord,” in the house. i spent the entire 3 hour drive up there saying “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck fuck.”
i would like to say we didn’t last long, but i wasted a lot of time on that fuckity fucker.
May 25, 2012 at 3:49 pm
When we were kids, we used to get our mouths washed out with soap (Seriously hate the taste of Ivory!) for calling somebody a “pig”. Once my Mom got old enough for a little senility to kick in, she remembered all the words she learned in the Navy in WWII. Whew! I didn’t think she knew those!
May 25, 2012 at 10:16 pm
I’ll bet you’re glad gasoline cupcake soap wasn’t a thing yet!
May 25, 2012 at 4:14 pm
I’m in college and my mom was helping me unpack my stuff into my new room. Of course she found my vibrator… She, at least, got a kick out of that!
May 25, 2012 at 10:17 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJLeNAcYg7E
(The caption says “time to get your own place?” It’s a real TV ad for a rental agency)
May 25, 2012 at 5:02 pm
No kidding! I would’ve loved to talk to my mom about sex, but to this day she still insists that “it hurt for two years.”. I told her she was either lying to “scare” us, or she had a medical condition she should have addressed. She refuses to believe other people (her daughters) actually think sex is fun, as if it’s this huge conspiracy on the part of every man on the planet.
May 25, 2012 at 6:24 pm
At least your mom actually TALKED to you about it. When I started my period, all I got was the same book she’d given to my oldest sister (who was 18 years older than me) when she’d started her period. It was sorely lacking in actual information, so most of what I actually know about sex I had to pick up on my own. Mostly from reading the porn books available at the local drug store. This is NOT the ideal way to learn about sex.
The only actual instruction I got was ‘wait until your married’
May 27, 2012 at 12:16 am
I didn’t get any talk, just the thing we were taught at school when we were ten. It didn’t help. I still remember screaming and general FTFO’ing for at least an hour before I got my sister’s help…you know..with the screaming and all, it was hard to ignore.
So to any parents not willing to have the talk. Wait until your daughter screams. It will be epic.
May 25, 2012 at 9:41 pm
Forget parents, my grandmother probably would have grabbed a banana to demonstrate the cock ring, while wearing the beard.
My family has no sense of shame, and a large dose of humor.
May 25, 2012 at 9:39 am
Am I tripping balls, because I swear a shorter version of this was this up briefly yesterday afternoon?
May 25, 2012 at 9:41 am
In that case we’re both tripping balls, but then, I started on my morning vodka even earlier than usual so I’m not the best person to ask really…
May 25, 2012 at 11:28 am
You are not alone.
May 25, 2012 at 11:36 am
derp. too many this’
May 25, 2012 at 9:41 am
I love the license plate:) I can’t even talk my dh into the AZ Centennial plate that would look so b-awesome on my truck, I’m jealous!
May 25, 2012 at 10:19 am
In some states, dont you have to put a little statement explaining why you are choosing the words/letters on the personal plate? If they had to here, I am DYING to know what they put.
May 25, 2012 at 6:27 pm
I would have invented a story about how it was a tribute to my beloved cat Cassus Fluffy who died tragically at the age of 4.
May 25, 2012 at 10:19 pm
Condolences for your contrived loss, Badger.
May 25, 2012 at 10:58 am
I want to have a threesome with that Pro-choice/CF4L plate and it’s owner.
Another Arizonan wanting a specialty plate too. I AM getting a new car soon but it’s taking forever and I’m worried someone in our great state already stole the idea.
May 25, 2012 at 9:42 pm
I had a custom license place once, a WoW themed one. Only 4 people ever got it.
I’ve considered getting it again, now that I’ve changed cars and states, but I dunno. My car attracts enough attention without a goofy license place.
May 25, 2012 at 10:31 pm
Simply subtly sticker your gas flap, like I did!
May 25, 2012 at 9:42 am
Things I will never see in my family:
Dad wearing stilettos and pinching his nipples.
May 25, 2012 at 10:03 am
In my family, Dad wearing stiletos and ANYONE pinching anything like that.
May 25, 2012 at 10:23 am
Me either. Thank god.
May 25, 2012 at 2:19 pm
My dad thinks he’s famous now. My dad’s probably home right now pinching his nipples while my mom photographs him. He’ll be lucky if he becomes a new meme.
May 25, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Your Dad does have a bit of a DeNiro face on him. I have a customer at work that I’ve always thought looks a lot like him too. Then there’s another guy that looks a bit like Burt Reynolds…and another that looks like the creepy dude that lived downstairs on “Friends”.
May 26, 2012 at 2:11 am
Mr. Heckles! Yes, I watch too much Friends.
May 27, 2012 at 12:21 am
I have to say, I loved the pic. It’s just so…nonchalant. The glittery heels just wrap that up into like a..super slick burrito wrapper working at Taco Bell at 3am on the weekend.
May 25, 2012 at 9:44 am
I think I wanna wreck Donna the Dead’s parents’ home now.
May 25, 2012 at 9:46 am
I think the most awesome thing on this page is the ‘TRUST WOMEN. RESPECT CHOICE.’ license plate. The ‘CF4L’ just pushes it over the edge.
P.S. My mother-in-law used the word ‘whimsical’ in describing her latest scrapbooking effort five times in a three-minute conversation yesterday. Never have I wanted to slap her so soundly and so frequently.
May 25, 2012 at 1:51 pm
She may actually have been saying “whimsicle”… which would make her waaaay cool!
May 25, 2012 at 9:48 am
Donna the Dead,
I love the photo of your Dad in your stilettos pinching his nipples, but what really makes the picture is that awesome Boston Terrier at his feet!
Only the best people have Boston Terriers. Just ask Helen. Aren’t they terrific dogs?
May 25, 2012 at 9:58 am
Can we expand that to include all pushed-face dogs? I have two pugs I think are pretty fuckin’ awesome!
May 25, 2012 at 10:09 am
Shout out for pugs-two of them own me. RESCUE RULES!
May 25, 2012 at 10:46 am
Second that emotion. All of it. For both my smushed-face short-bussers.
May 25, 2012 at 12:40 pm
I have two french bulldog “nephews” and adore them.
May 25, 2012 at 10:21 am
My Boston is the spitting image of Helen’s. I can’t tell them apart.
May 25, 2012 at 10:22 am
Aside from the fact that they live thousands of miles apart and have never actually met. Other than that…
May 25, 2012 at 10:33 am
But they have never been seen in the same room! Dah dah duuuuumm!
May 25, 2012 at 11:58 am
Well, most Bostons do shop at the same clothing store.
May 25, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Now you each know where to look if your dog ever needs a stunt double…as dogs often do.
May 25, 2012 at 5:51 pm
One of cats is black and white, so his markings are sort of Boston Terrier-ish. Does that count?
May 25, 2012 at 9:49 am
Gmail never makes suggestions like that to me. I’m actually pissed off about it.
Secondly, I realize I need to up my game (by several orders of magnitude) in my emails to Helen.
May 25, 2012 at 9:50 am
I always enjoy seeing how many FJLs have awesome parents.
May 25, 2012 at 10:20 am
It certainly explains a lot.
May 25, 2012 at 11:33 am
Sometimes it can be a bad thing. Like when my dad was going to just hire a prostitute to babysit my brothers and me when he took us to las vegas. We were very young. I think it was about learning life lessons, and that it would be cheaper than finding someone to babysit us demons. Though I’m still not sure how I feel about it, on one hand it’s funny as hell. But on the other…
May 25, 2012 at 9:19 pm
May 25, 2012 at 9:44 pm
Hey! I think I have that Hookemon card!
May 25, 2012 at 9:52 pm
Gotta catch ‘em all!
May 25, 2012 at 9:50 am
So the dad in the heels sent me to google to find a picture of Dr. Frankenfurter. I get there and this catches my eye. so forgive it being off topic but, but, but DR FRANKENFURTER RUBBER DUCKY :O
May 25, 2012 at 10:09 am
How dare you post that picture without a link where we can buy it!!!!
May 25, 2012 at 10:27 am
http://www.baronbob.com/rubberduck-Dr-Frank-n-Furter.htm
Also this is amazing:
http://www.baronbob.com/celebriduck-jamesbrown.htm
May 25, 2012 at 4:13 pm
I just might buy that (the Frank-N-Furter one).
I just bought RHPS fridge magnets.
May 25, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Product is out of stock??? NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
May 25, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Chill! YOU MUST CHILL! There are several on eBay right now, GO!
May 25, 2012 at 11:14 pm
MsChilePepper — Thank you! The duck has now been purchased as a belated birthday gift for a friend who has played Frank on too many occasions to count back in the day. Rocky Horror castmates stick together!
May 25, 2012 at 11:34 pm
I’d like to add that this is my first ever eBay purchase. I hope I don’t live to regret this day.
May 25, 2012 at 10:25 am
I have an Ozzy duck like that. My ex used to complain that it was starring at him in the shower.
May 25, 2012 at 10:47 am
Which made him the ex. Why do they think everything is about them?
May 25, 2012 at 10:54 am
I am going to put myself out there for down thumbing by saying I’ve never actually SEEN The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I somehow manage to get the references to it, because that’s the kind of geek I am, but I seriously feel like I’m missing out on something amazing by never having watched this.
May 25, 2012 at 12:31 pm
It’s an experience, for sure.
I would not call it “amazing,” though. It’s actually a pretty terrible movie. Some of the songs are good, and of course the floorshow is something to experience, but it’s not exactly good.
May 25, 2012 at 1:04 pm
awwwww Bronc….not good? I’ve been thinking you’d look awesome in fishnets and a feather boa!
May 25, 2012 at 1:31 pm
I do look good in fishnets, there’s no denying that.
Rocky Horror as an experience is fun.
As a movie, objectively speaking, it’s no good.
May 25, 2012 at 2:48 pm
The first time I saw Rocky Horror was a midnight showing in Tel Aviv. Wow. They knew every line, threw rice, the whole fucking works. Truly the most amazing time I have ever had in a cinema.
May 25, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Dang it, Bronc! Now all of us FJL’s are going to want to see you in fishnets dressed up like Dr. Frankenfurter.
(Note to HK – you could have him sign prints of it for your next April’s Army fundraiser.)
May 25, 2012 at 6:37 pm
I’d pay good money to see Bronc as Frank-n-Furter.
May 25, 2012 at 3:07 pm
A local theater is doing a production of Rocky Horror, I’m probably going to be in it… should I put your name in for Franknfurter, Bronc?
May 25, 2012 at 4:20 pm
I know what you mean Bronc. I love RHPS but that doesn’t mean I think it’s a good movie.
Totally picturing you in fishnets now….hmmmm.
May 25, 2012 at 4:41 pm
So much truth. Rocky Horror is a sincerely awful movie. Do not rent it and do not watch it on tv at Halloween. The only way to do it is at an actual theater with people who know how to have fun.
If it’s still showing in Des Moines, don’t go there! Make the effort and go to Chicago instead. Seriously. Step up your game, Des Moines!
May 25, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Plus, it’s just not the same throwing rice at the TV.
May 25, 2012 at 5:19 pm
That actually sounds like my idea of a perfect movie. I like all those terrible cheesy cliche horror movies. The more predictable it is the better I like it. So I probably will be goofy enough to consider The Rocky Horror Picture Show as amazing. Fishnets help.
May 25, 2012 at 9:46 pm
It’s not the movie that matters. It’s the experience.
The first time I saw it, I was 17, and we’d managed to cram 10 people onto a waterbed, in 2 rows of 5. I was on top of a friend’s Polish Exchange student, who not only slept through the movie, but me being on top of him.
I don’t know if seeing it live will ever top that.
May 25, 2012 at 3:56 pm
My husband, who was raised in a super-religious Southern Baptist home, was talked into going to see the Rocky Horror SHOW (yes, the live version) back in college. Tim Curry danced down the aisle and stopped to grind his glittery crotch right at mr. m’s eye-level. He never totally recovered.
May 25, 2012 at 6:38 pm
I am now officially insanely jealous of your husband.
May 25, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 25, 2012 at 6:33 pm
Don’t feel bad-I didn’t see it for the first time till I was 52. I would definitely recommend watching it, though, if only because it’s a damn good movie. The pop culture references are just the icing on the fuckery cake.
May 25, 2012 at 11:32 am
Tim Curry’s duckface was almost as good as Auntie Freddies, not sure the half bill was necessary.
May 25, 2012 at 11:55 am
I own this rubber ducky. It was a gift from my kick ass husband. My daughter used to play with it in the tub when she was little.
May 25, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I don’t care who you are, that right there is a thing of beauty. A THING OF FUCKING BEAUTY. It made me go CAPSLOCK.
May 25, 2012 at 9:50 am
When I was little my dad let me put barrettes in his hair. But, I can’t imagine him doing anything as AWESOME as that. Donna the Dead, you have an amazing pops there:).
On a related note:
My boyfriend hurt his back a few weeks ago and had trouble getting up and getting himself things. He was laying in bed in his boxers and undershirt and needed some water…
So, of course I made him pull up his shirt and rub his nipples and sing “I’m a Little Teapot.” While I filmed him.
I wish I had thought to put him in stilletos.
May 25, 2012 at 10:18 am
Update:
I just watched the video again. He keeps saying “Why are you doing this to me?” and I keep saying. “Touch them. Sing I’m a little teapot.”
The whole thing smacks of Silence of the Lambs: “It put’s the lotion in the basket…”
I think we have a healthy relationship.
May 25, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Post the video, or it didn’t happen.
May 25, 2012 at 6:41 pm
I just spat wine spitzer all over my screen.
No way:).
1. I don’t know how.
2. It’s insurance. There are some far more compromising videos of me in his possesion. Mutual destuction. Like I said: healthy relationship.
3. Ok maybe… for another bottle of club soda and another bottle of pinot.
P.S. This makes me wet: http://www.etsy.com/listing/93494895/spocktopus
Or it’s the wine spritzer dribbling down my chin. Either way it’s a pleasant sensation.
May 25, 2012 at 9:38 pm
I stand by what I said. If his counter videos are as good as the one you mentioned, they should all be posted for all to see.
May 25, 2012 at 5:38 pm
For me, the best part is pairing this comment with the innocent, butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-it’s-mouth look of your avatar
May 25, 2012 at 8:21 pm
I wish my real face was like that. As it is everyone’s on to me.
May 25, 2012 at 9:51 am
That octopus necklace is AWESOME – when was this featured? What’s her store?
May 25, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Donna the Dead’s store: http://www.etsy.com/shop/xdonnaxthexdeadx
Featured many moons ago. Probably in Club Fuckery. Hard to say when exactly. The vodka, you know.
May 25, 2012 at 6:43 pm
Did you see this gem?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/93494895/spocktopus
May 25, 2012 at 9:43 pm
I had a hell boy octopus once, but I don’t know what I did with it. I lame it on the cheap beer. Damn you rolling rock. Either way, I’m making a celebrity/fictional character inspired octopus collection. When will it be posted? who knows! I’m too drunk to remember what I wanted to craft.
May 25, 2012 at 9:49 pm
I can vouch that the octopi necklaces are awesome in person. I bought one for my cousin for Christmas, and she loved it.
Had one pink and one orange octopus, and it was far bigger and sturdier than I expected. I was super pleased.
May 25, 2012 at 9:54 am
I also got my swag bag, but I was unable to restrain myself to just one piece. So instead, I broke out the cheap rum and put ALL of it on. At the bottom of the picture, you can see the feet of my “extremely proud” mother. Please note, the cock ring has been turned into a regular ring, since my fiance is 3000 miles away. I tried to put it on the tiny paper penis, but no dice.
May 25, 2012 at 9:55 am
Also, my pants say “Canada, eh?” Because there’s nothing the Canadians love more than milking stereotypes to get tourist money. They’re great. The pants AND the Canadians.
May 25, 2012 at 10:00 am
A delightful theme of family unity going on in this thread. Parents taking pictures of kids, kids taking pictures of parents. CF4L is doing it part for stronger families and a better world. Because the family that swags together, shags together. Or something like that. What else rhymes with swag?
May 25, 2012 at 10:07 am
Rag? No. My mom had a hysterectomy. Slag? Scallywag? According to a rhyming dictionary I found, we could go with “coefficient of drag” or “nautical signal flag.” I like them.
May 25, 2012 at 10:39 pm
May 25, 2012 at 9:54 am
I really want that license plate, including the pro-choice thing. Awesome.
May 25, 2012 at 9:55 am
I worked in a drug store when I was a kid so I know all too well the inevitable disappointment of unwrapping anything made by Russell Stover.
May 25, 2012 at 11:09 am
Are you old enough to remember Loft’s chocolate? It was SO awesome (and it may have been the first break-apart chocolate bar). Went out of business.
May 25, 2012 at 10:00 am
I live in VA and could not be a bigger, fatter, jealouser loserer than I am right now. If I see those plate I may just steal them (NOT REALLY)! But I will honk and pump my fist.
May 25, 2012 at 10:25 am
I live in Virginia, too. I’ve got to stay on the lookout for this plate!
May 25, 2012 at 10:50 am
What is this site doing to me? I saw “I live in Vagina.” Well, whatever you’re doing to me, do it again.
May 25, 2012 at 10:26 pm
Just remember: Vagina is for lovers!
May 25, 2012 at 11:10 am
I live in Virginia as well. So jealous I did not think of this.
May 25, 2012 at 11:45 am
Maybe “Goatse” is still available?
May 25, 2012 at 10:00 am
I’d like to thank you Fuckers for validating my lifestyle. CF4L!
May 25, 2012 at 10:01 am
I got a dose of Finland last night. I went out to a burlesque show and Helsinki’s own LouLou D’Vil was performing! She’s touring in the states prior to competing in the Miss Exotic World competition in Vegas next week, and I hafta say…I’m as gay as a picnic basket, but I was ready to switch teams for her. She is as beautiful as a fantasy, a 40s pinup brought to life. Now a group of my burlesque-loving friends are ready to visit Helsinki…
May 25, 2012 at 10:03 am
LouLou, in one of the outfits she wore last night. Bunk-worthy.
May 25, 2012 at 10:08 am
Oh my. You weren’t kidding. She’s gorgeous.
May 25, 2012 at 10:22 am
Holy shit wow
May 25, 2012 at 11:25 am
She is beautiful. I love burlesque because it satisfies the outfit queen in me, provides fuckery, humour, and tease. Performing is not for me, but helping design the outfits would be heavenly.
A burlesque event with CF4L designed outfits/performances….
I’ll be in my bunk.
May 25, 2012 at 2:16 pm
I’m straight, and would consider switching teams for her. Gorgeous!
May 25, 2012 at 6:41 pm
Wow. What a knockout.
May 25, 2012 at 10:54 am
Any attendees, keep your eyes open for my BFF Sweetpea.
http://fotodog.tumblr.com/post/8457345011/sweetpea-of-lilis-burlesque-review-performing-at
May 25, 2012 at 10:01 am
Giant Yarn Jesus has Kermit hands and feet.
May 25, 2012 at 10:15 am
This is appropriate, as Kermit is Muppet Jesus: seen in Meet the Feebles (Peter Jackson’s masterpiece).
I’d put the actual picture here, but it’s hard to find online for some reason.
May 25, 2012 at 10:36 pm
Close, but not exactly:
Sorry I can’t figure out how to put the clip up; one of the best scenes from THE best movie ever.
May 25, 2012 at 10:30 am
I swear I thought the e-mail said that Jesus was made entirely out of YAM. Damn reading glasses.
Although that would’ve been pretty freakin’ amazeboats too.
May 25, 2012 at 11:25 am
There was a dude in the last city I lived who sculpted things out of dried potatoes, so it’s not that far fetched.
May 25, 2012 at 10:04 am
I like that the added keywords also include upcycled. Yay. :-/
May 25, 2012 at 10:04 am
Just me, or is the correct spelling of “whimsical” starting to look wrong to anyone else?
May 25, 2012 at 10:58 am
Me, too. Now I’m beginning to wonder if it even has a correct spelling?
May 25, 2012 at 9:32 pm
I’m a proofreader who has been sorely tempted to whip out my red pen on more than one occasion o.O
May 25, 2012 at 10:05 am
I love you people
May 25, 2012 at 10:10 am
I get Gmail ads in my professional account, but Gmail no longer gives my “personal” email account any ads. I think it just gave up on trying to find…er…appropriate content for my tastes.
May 25, 2012 at 10:25 am
I wish Lindsay would share the directions for making this tin foil hat!
May 25, 2012 at 10:11 am
OMG. Donna the Dead’s dad is Max Cady.
May 25, 2012 at 11:25 am
Jesus has long pubic hair.
May 25, 2012 at 12:43 pm
God forgive me, but I have to wonder what’s underneath knit Jesus’ ittle bitty loincloth. Is he… anatomically correct?
May 25, 2012 at 1:16 pm
My bet is that if you lift the loincloth, there’s either a mousetrap that snaps on your finger, or he’s like a Ken doll.
May 25, 2012 at 1:52 pm
THANK YOU. That was my first thought… What is Jesus packing under there? I cannot believe I had to go down to the last set of comments for someone to mention it!!
I’m sure yarn Jesu is sporting quite the skein of wool underneath the dish cloth.
If only I had the photoshop skillz to hook him up with that vibrating cock ring.
May 26, 2012 at 5:24 pm
I sent that picture in, and I am now going to make it a personal mission to take one with the cloth lifted. It’s in a little entry area to one of the class buildings so the key will be going during a class break or something. I’m gonna plan it all Mission Impossible style…but with nuns and monks.
May 26, 2012 at 6:11 pm
YES
May 25, 2012 at 2:03 pm
That is one sexy lady in a Petja beard. <3
May 25, 2012 at 3:01 pm
I just want the lady that got the lil wayne drawer pulls to know that I really wanted them and I was bummed that they couldn’t be mine but I was comforted in the fact that a new orleanian got them.
May 25, 2012 at 6:51 pm
You can have them again: http://www.etsy.com/listing/89800522/lil-wayne-etched-wooden-cabinet-knobs
May 25, 2012 at 3:18 pm
With that jacket, that might pass muster with the vegans who do it for health reasons, or simply don’t like the killing of animals.
I wouldn’t risk it, though. There’s no way to tell where they fall on the not-crazy/batshit scale until you’ve put honey in your tea, and discover they’ve tossed you out the window.
May 25, 2012 at 3:49 pm
The only way Yarn Jesus could be more horrific (read: “better”) is of he was made of sock monkey socks.
May 25, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Sock monkey Jesus sounds amazing.
May 25, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Nikki, are you saying that those nuns are using Jesus as a straw-man argument?
May 25, 2012 at 7:10 pm
I live in VA and if I see that license plate, I will force you to pull over and I will force you to enjoy 2 hugs. 1 for the CF4L and 1 of the pro choice.
May 27, 2012 at 6:08 am
It’s out just me, or does Jesus have moobs?
May 29, 2012 at 6:26 am
Yay! That’s my license plate!
We were camping over the weekend or else I would have posted sooner. If you’re in Richmond, keep an eye out!
You should have seen me doing the happy dance when my husband said, “Hey, your license plate is up for renewal — do you want to change it?” and CF4L was available.
Fat? Yes. Jealous? Not usually. Loser? Not so much.