- Buy your own at Supervelma’s Etsy store
Love it. But, really, what DO you have to do to get a Persian rug with a cherub on it?
Kanye could’ve used Alchemy, but alas… he’ll have to find an artist on Craigslist.
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Kanye Kardashian – need I say more?!
Then he better get ready for a bounty of placenta/menses/justgodstopsellingfluids.
actually, and I only know this because people complained when I posted the pic of that tweet, apparently it is (or was way back when) forbidden by Muslim law to have depictions of humans or animals on the rugs.
*insert The More You Know gif here*
Yep, Islamic art is pattern-based – it’s not just the rugs; images of people are considered haraam. Something to do with idolatry.
ORLY? Maybe it’s a more recent prohibition/interpretation of the Quran?
Holy titfucking christ, that is beautiful.
yeah, those medieval Persians could paint.
I was taught it’s always been like that, the worst offense being depictions of Muhammad. Perhaps its more recent if zombietime.com is to be a reliable source (http://zombietime.com/mohammed_image_archive/islamic_mo_full/)
Mosques, however, never have human imagery. It’s usually calligraphy and floral designs.
It’s a long-standing prohibition but more strictly enforced against depictions of Allah and Muhammad. It may also be the difference between private art and more public images. Rugs are used in mosques so that probably why the cherub thing would be a no no.
It’s an original prohibition, but the powerful and wealthy have violated it in private from day one.
IIRC there were depictions of scenes in the Quran on the Dome of the Rock that got plastered over.
Islam not being all the same in all places and times, sometimes there’s a general ban on all depictions of people and animals, but sometimes it just applies to divine figures and of course not showing Muhammed ever. (The Persian miniaturists usually got around this by having him depicted as a head made of flames or something.)
Judeo-Christians also have a Commandement about not making “graven images”, which the Jewish tradition took more literally, but Christians decided it just meant don’t worship idols. Allegedly, some ancient Jewish groups got around the prohibition by making sculptures that were so lumpy and shapeless you couldn’t really tell what they were, so most of Etsy should be safe.
Annabelle – I was all like “cool, I’m getting fun education on Regretsy,” then Bam! You pulled me right back into lumpy dumpy Rapunzelomonas.
Different interpretations–different times and places, as you see–but the non-representational patterning that’s so popular in Islamic art probably does have something to do with an unease–at least at times and in places–about representation.
Aniconism is the word for a prohibition on depictions of figures (as opposed to iconoclasm, which is the smashing up of ones that are already there) – there are fairly good articles on Wikipedia about aniconism in the Islamic, Jewish, and Christian traditions.
Miniatures are allowed in Persian art because they are tiny and private works of art, usually kept in an album. A rug wouldn’t be acceptable because it’s out all the time.
Sooooo that tattoo I got from an islamic art book in 97 was probably not the best idea? Even though it’s pretty and it matches the other one from the book?
Cancelling that trip to Dubai!
OMG, these rock. As soon as I’m not flat broke, I’m ordering several – one for each room of my shitty apartment. I’ll let you pick the quotes, too, because hey, it’s Kanye. How can you go wrong?
*humps Supervelma’s leg*
FYI – you are my favorite person in the world.
It is anti-Hadith, so unlikely to exist. So get a rug that’s not Persian.
I am so in love with these.
WHAT? Beyonce’s embroidery is better.
I had no idea how big a douchnozzle Kanye really was until I saw his words immortalized in embroidery.
I love the first paragraph of the description of the item – I tried adding “Liz Lemon!” to the beginning or end of each tweet, and they really *did* sound like Tracy Jordan was saying them. Genius.
Maybe that’s where Tina Fey’s getting the dialogue from?
I think these actually made me like him more. It’s like we share some of the same mundane day-to-day problems. Fur pillow are really hard to sleep on.
English are hard too.
I really loved the water bottle one. I’ve had that thought. Generally when I’ve had zero sleep in multiple days
The water bottle one was my favorite, followed closely by the fur pillow one.
Holy wow. Amazing. Reminds me of this twitter page I came across a few days ago
“Siri, why aren’t more things lunar powered?”
Never before has so much assholery looked so appealing.
Goatse doesn’t count.
I am not a gay fish!
One in every room!
OMG, THESE ARE MINE!!!! And I admit that I was holding my breath when I saw they were featured here (the reactions from people have been mixed) – so… thanks for not hating them
I LOVE these.
Okay, if you guys need me, I’ll be squeeing under my desk and trying not to pee my pants. But seriously, thanks, this has made my day/week/millenium
he’s such a misunderstood genius! what’s not to love…
Velma you get a whole box of Scooby Snax!!!
These are completely awesome…I ran across them the other day after another piece was featured on Winning At Everything. Keep up the wonderful work!
And your blog is cracking me up.
Seriously, this is the best ever, it’s going straight to the top of my wishlist.
These are beyond awesome! We just bought a new house and must have one of these for our office. So much win here!
I must buy a house to hang these in.
maybe you could just buy a wall if you can’t afford a house right now – we all need this ASAP!
Are you kidding? I want ALL OF THEM.
THESE ARE AMAZING. I’m looking through Kanye’s tweets to find the perfect one to hang in a snarky pastor’s apartment.
I’m leaning towards “being nice is the shit.” That is my kind of theology.
they are too funny to hate, and such a great way to showcase the douchebaggery of Kanye…which he just keeps on giving! p.s.I just bought your Jawas!
Supervelma, you really rock! Your work is inspired. Haven’t seen anything I’ve loved this much in quite some time.
Well, anything that didn’t contain Spock, anyway!
I can’t wait till we get into our actual apartment. Honey and I have always had to share an office which means having to agree on art. And he would hate these, but give me that gentle it’s-okay-that-you’re-fucked-up smile and say that I can get them, but soon I won’t even have to ask permission.
tl;dr, this would’ve destroyed my relationship previously, but it’s okay.
Your work is awesome! Especially the other embroidery in your shop of the girl from The Ring. That is some clever stitching.
I just inquired as to how much a custom piece would be!
I love them too!!
These are wonderful. I am seriously considering ordering one, but I have to find my favorite tweet first.
They gave you a shout-out today on Morning Edition (NPR), but I’m sure you are aware of this! Effing hilarious! Finally something on Etsy that I’d like to buy!
Someone told me that I got a shout out on some Dallas morning radio show, but I had no idea about NPR – holy shit!
I was sad that I walked into Nobu with no shoes until I meant a rapper who had no brain.
This is amazaballs! A way to make any batshit twitter rant look classy!
Dibs on the water bottle one. I hate that too. Doesn’t everyone?
Love, love these!
Would it be extra to have an Armenian pee on them?
No, no, no! You have the Armenian peed on by a black dude!
This is genius. Absolute genius. LOVE.
I feel Kanye’s pain when it comes to the irritation associated with finding proper cherub imagery on Persian rugs. It reminds me of the time when, after flying the G4 into Teterboro from Boca, we arrived at our Hudson River-side horse farm only to discover that the deer had eaten all of the tulips!
Simply a tragedy! On our annual visit to the villa in Gasperina, we had purchased an exquisite Murano vase. Imagine our surprise when, upon our return home, we discovered that Stewardess had only packed it with 4 fur pillows and not 5 and a throw as I had specifically requested! Thankfully it wasn’t damaged, but what if we had hit turbulence?!
You simply cannot find good help these days.
I have to get the one about the water bottle, because that has always been my favorite douchebag Kanye comment.
Sometimes I get emotional over farts.
Beat me to it! I love that video!
CANNOT THUMBS UP ENOUGH.
I was JUST going to ask if anyone had seen this.
I also tweeted the listing to him earlier, hopefully she gets a sale out of it.
I tend to be irresponsible when water bottles are concerned. I can’t believe that Kanye is more resposible about something than I am.
Crap. If I had an extra $45 for WTFery this month, one of those would be mine. Damn you, unexpected engine repair fees!
What the eff… Supervelma, you and your whole store are so damn fabulous!
This is fucking fabulous.
And I love the comment about how you can get it customized with “different grooms, or even a bride and a groom if you’re into that.”
*if you’re into that*
I just showed this to my son, who’s been having trouble deciding what to get as a wedding gift for his long-time penpal and good friend Jamie now that he and his boyfriend are getting married.
He ran off mumbling something about whether he had a good picture of Jamie and Scott she could use, and whether there was enough time to get a custom order done before the wedding.
And THIS magnificent Star Wars/Shining masterpiece . . . wow.
Come Play With Us R2D2 For Ever And Ever And Ever
mine!just bought it…can’t pass up Jawas and shining references in one!
I am SO sad these are sold:
I want my own now!
While I appreciate the snark service you offer, I humbly request that you stop finding so many awesome things I want to spend money on. My budget can’t handle it.
I love the Water Bottle Tweet! Love it!
The Shining/Star Wars mash-up sampler that seller also has in her shop is probably the most amusing thing I’ve seen in a while.
I found this… rug
I thought we could go with this one, tell Kanye it’s Persian, problem solved.
i want to hang one of these so that everyone who comes to my apartment and hangs out in my bathroom while dropping the kids off at the pool will have the opportunity to enjoy this awesome fuckery.
just when you thought Kanye couldn’t be a bigger douche…
“an abortion can cost a ballin’ n–s up to 50gs maybe a 100. Gold diggin’ b—es be getting pregnant on purpose. #STRAPUP my n–s!”
Annnd – “It ain’t happen to me but I know people.”
Not sure if his most insensitively douchey tweet deserves this awesome treatment.
I so want the water bottle tweet in my bathroom. That specific room.
He’s one classy guy. Such a catch.
I wonder where them Gold diggin bitches be getting they abortions (sic)? Dubai?
Can I have hipster points if I liked her shop before it was featured on Regretsy? No?
Why would you want hipster points? Are you hoping to get a discount on your next case of PBR?
This is my favorite part:
…if there’s a tweet (that) touches your heart that ISN’T from Kanye, I’m open to doing that instead, even though… why?
um, this is amazing too!
I think she could do some great Regretsy butthurt/flounce embroidery.
I should really do something poster-sized of the letter from that “attorney”
That would be a beautiful thing.
I would buy one.
You had me at “Boobs.”
This made my (rainy, ugly, loser-y) day! You really ARE super, supervelma! I never really paid attention to the gay fish until he hitched his douche wagon to the ass-tastic Kardashian Klan. Fair disclosure: my kids go to the same high school that Kris Humphries attended, so by Minnesota standards, we’re practically related. Derp.
I WANT A ROOM FILLED WITH THESE
One on every wall (maybe more if there’s room)
One on every flat surface.
Also, I am totally digging that The Ring embroidery.
oh my lord. this is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. I wish I had an extra 30 bucks laying around.
I’m trying to understand – is this on regretsy because it sucks, or because it’s awesome? Because this seems pretty awesome to me. It’s not in the same class as kale, resellers, cole slaw, vagina imagery, or dead-stuff-crafts.
However, I will agree that it certainly is DIY meets WTF. But really, it should be DIY meets WTF-AWESOME!
Sometimes Regretsy puts things up because they’re awesome. It’s rarer, but it does happen.
These look well done, but shouldn’t they be mounted tighter? Is loose mounting an embroidery thing? I am only coming from a cross stitch perspective where the tighter the mount, the better (that’s what he said!).
The embroidery is generally not framed as tightly as cross stitch is.
I love rich people problems. Not in a sarcastic way. I really do. They always make me laugh.
“Now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle”, “Fur Pillows are hard to actually sleep on”
O.M.G. Thank you for that.
Things of beauty.
Can she give us an estimate on excerpts from the Ocean Marketing kerfuffle?
Also, up until this exactly moment I thought it was kerfluffle, but the spell check objects to that until I remove the first l. The More You Know.
Somone needs to make that into a rug, or at least a wall hanging *stat*
Have you ever seen something so amazingly perfect that the mere act of looking at it breaks your heart, simply because it makes you realize that you’ve spent your entire life without it?
I get emotional over fonts, too, Kanye.
I get emotional over fonts, too.
No need for me to post separately, because you have expressed my feelings so completely.
This, I imagine, is how the fine citizens of The Vatican felt when Michelangelo unveiled the Sistine Chapel.
‘Being nice is the shit’.
Any man who quotes Ghandi is okay in my book.
Yo supervelma. I’m really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but Beyonce had some of the best embroidered tweets of all time! OF ALL TIME!
Here’s to hoping this douche is one big ol’ fucked up dream. Cheers.
I AM SO SAD THAT THIS IS ALREADY SOLD!
Seriously, is that not the most gorgeous piece of embroidery ever? Supervelma, you are truly amazing!
I am reminded of Amanda Palmer’s brilliant song made up entirely of tweets, including a few of Kanye’s gems.
Josh Grobin sings Kanye…. More more more~
MooMoo, thank you, thank you so much! That was like Christmas. If you ever need a kidney, you can have one of mine.
I feel like I must be the only Aziz Ansari fan here. I can’t help but hear these read in his voice. Also, I need to learn to embroider shit, along with a few thousand other skills I’d like to have!
That fucking water bottle tweet destroys me EVERY TIME! Jesus, that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read. It’s like Kanye woke up to find someone had dropped off a kitten in the seat next to him. Oh great, now I gotta be responsible for this kitten.
Dang, I am in the wrong time zone, SHE IS ALMOST ENTIRELY SOLD OUT! Wah! Is there a gallery of your stuff out there, Supervelma?
hey – the regretsy peeps have been ridiculously kind to me and it makes me, a fat, jealous loser, want to cry big fat tears (and I’m moving soon, so I need the funds) but *shameless plug* – here’s my flickr set with a bunch of my embroidery http://www.flickr.com/photos/68403903@N00/sets/72157625275437447/ – or you could check out my sold orders – http://www.etsy.com/shop/supervelma/sold?ref=shopinfo_sales_leftnav
Sorry, but the whole ironic appropriation of hip hop needs to die already. It’s tired and overdone and not even remotely clever.
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