No thanks, just looking
This post first appeared on Regretsy in June of 2011.
A few years ago, I used to lurk on LiveJournal.
LJ has the best possible conditions for cultivating hysteria. Half the users are looking for something to be offended by, and the other half are too stoned to go to work. The combination turns out a magically delicious flavor of drama that never gets stale.
I remember seeing a post by a woman who had an enormous tattoo of a pirate ship on her chest. It was gruesome and gory, with skulls, ravens, bloody swords and naked women, and the design ran down both arms. She also had ear holes you could keep a can of Pepsi in, and so many facial piercings that it looked like she fell into a tackle box.
One afternoon, she posted a breathless, angry diatribe about something that happened at the supermarket. Apparently she was wearing a bikini top to go food shopping – as you do – and was putting milk in her cart when she noticed a middle aged man in a suit looking at her. He didn’t say anything, he wasn’t leering or rolling his eyes, he was just… looking.
She picked up a container of milk and shouted, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?” Then she threw it at him, and chased him out of the store, screaming at the top of her lungs. Which as you know, is an excellent way to avoid calling attention to yourself.
I didn’t understand her reaction then, and I still don’t get it. Don’t you want people to look at you? Isn’t being a little bit shocking at least part of the point? If you’re doing everything you possibly can to stand out, why would you be angry when people notice? Or did you split your tongue to keep a low profile?
Still, everything I’ve read would indicate that staring at someone with tattooed eyeballs is considered rude. Even though you did it to yourself, and you clearly want people to notice what you’ve done, we’re not supposed to look, or make any kind of face. Well, unless we approve. I guess if I also have horns surgically implanted in my skull and we happen to see each other at Trader Joes, we can do that nod thing that people do when they both drive the same car.
But otherwise, just keep looking straight ahead, asshole. The fact that I have wind chimes hanging from my ballsack is none of your concern.
May 19, 2012 at 1:35 pm
The mullet is the worst offense here. Seriously, dude.
May 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm
I dunno, the underbite and bad posture are what bothers me the most.
May 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Hey not everybody can afford an orthodontist and a chiropractor AND concert posters!
May 19, 2012 at 10:55 pm
I’m not sensing the best hygiene either
May 22, 2012 at 10:40 am
For me it’s the serial killer stare.
May 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm
To call that disaster a mullet is an insult to mullets.
May 19, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Not a mullet. It’s a limp mohawk. But yes, dude looks like a shit head.
May 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm
this is my second favorite rant, eclipsed only by the hippie rant.
i said it on the facebook page, but it bears repeating here: i would not be fucking that dude ever, no matter how drunk.
May 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Now all we need is a t-shirt that reads, “I’m sure he does, but it won’t happen.”
May 19, 2012 at 10:57 pm
or “plan on using the watermelon in the produce aisle”
May 19, 2012 at 9:38 pm
No? But you get to specify size!
May 19, 2012 at 10:50 pm
Yes, I read his shirt and thought, “O.K., but would anyone rather be fucking YOU?” Personally, I would rather have a simultaneous pap smear/tooth cleaning (no, it’s not the same orifice), while listening to nails on a chalkboard.
May 21, 2012 at 11:36 am
My beer goggles would have to be the size of kegs.
May 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm
So… out of all the “hardware” he has chosen to adorn himself with… braces were clearly not one of those that he found important.
I want to pull his pants up. They look uncomfy.
May 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Oh me too. Call me. 111-111-1111 Thanks.
May 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm
i have a fuckton of tattoos because i think they’re gorgeous. i will never, ever understand people that get pissy when other people look at them or, god forbid, are curious about them.
May 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Ditto.
May 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm
I should add that I love when someone asks about them because they all have a story. I like telling stories.
May 19, 2012 at 1:45 pm
yep, exactly. it’s fun to talk about them! although i usually preface my stories with “how long do you have?” so i can pick what ones to talk about. a couple of them are on the long side.
May 19, 2012 at 3:23 pm
So here’s a question for the inked FJLs. If you had a tattoo that was greatly significant to you, but felt it was too personal a story to share with strangers, how would you handle someone asking you about it? Just lie and say there’s no special meaning; you just like the design? Make up something else? Say “It’s significant to me, but for personal reasons”? I think that last one would be my natural tendency, but wouldn’t that be sort of like what April’s complaining about here?
Or would it be better to avoid the question altogether by putting such a tattoo in a place where strangers wouldn’t be able to see it? If I’m going to spend a chunk of money on a gorgeous design, I’d like to be able to show it off. But I’m conflicted because I don’t know how to deal with curious questions.
May 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm
I got my first tattoo at 39 to commemorate my imminent divorce (the spouse didn’t allow bumper stickers on the car, either) . It’s a Chinese phrase that goes unnoticed unless a blouse dips down in the back. When people ask what it says, I tell them I can’t remember if it’s “beef with broccoli ” or “I drink my bathwater. ” That usually ends the conversation in either giggles or a side-eye.
May 19, 2012 at 4:43 pm
I had a friend who got a chinese character on his shoulder … supposedly for “silent strength”.
I asked him if he’d checked with somebody before he got it, and when said, “no … why?” I told him it really said “kick me”. I managed to say it with a straight face, too, because I have no idea what it really said.
The freak out was worth it, though >:)
May 19, 2012 at 4:48 pm
I think there’s a difference between getting a tattoo that is significant to you, although you may not want to share that significance with total strangers (and I think your last response is perfectly fine) vs. having lots of tattoos (or piercings or whatever) and then throwing a temper tantrum when somebody looks at your body art/modifications.
May 19, 2012 at 11:00 pm
Also what happens if say you get a tattoo of all four faces of Kiss on your shoulder which may have been cool in 1979 but is outdated now…?
May 19, 2012 at 11:42 pm
Depends how you think the person would react. If you are vaguely familiar with them and think they’d respect you telling them it was a personal thing, then tell them. If it’s some random idiot, you’re probably easier just saying “oh idk it’s a cool design”. I have the same deal myself.
May 20, 2012 at 2:11 am
I do have one tattoo (out of 8) that has a private story behind it…but when I designed it I hid the meaning, basically. It can be taken more than one way. In fact, people often read into it whatever they like, and I let them. Now it sounds like a Rorschach test lol…but it isn’t like that. Anyway, if people ask, I just don’t tell. It’s like if you were wearing a charm bracelet and people asked what the charms each meant. If one is too personal, you just skim over it and move along.
May 20, 2012 at 2:12 am
oops that smiley was supposed to be an 8 with a ) behind it. Blast.
May 23, 2012 at 9:03 am
I actually ended up making up a second, less-personal but still plausible story behind mine to tell most people who ask me. It worked out well because people have their curiosity satisfied, I don’t awkward anyone out with the real story, and I get a tattoo that represents two different but equally special things to me.
May 19, 2012 at 4:16 pm
I do not have tattoos, but am fascinated by them. I’ve asked many people about their tattoos and always say, “If it’s not personal, does that ______ have a special meaning that you wouldn’t mind sharing?”. Most people are very glad to tell me about them (and something they spent $$$ and hours of discomfort/pain to get). I’ve never had anybody chew my head off over it.
May 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm
I agree. I don’t have tats that show, but when I head to the rammstein show with my amazing cleavage, I’m totally comfortable with the staring.
May 20, 2012 at 2:14 am
Rammstein is boss.
May 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm
agreed in full! i only have one tatt (for the moment), but it demands showing! whether i get looks of approval or looks of “ew,” i am still proud to show it off–that’s the point!
May 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I concur. I’m a pretty conservative-looking housewife type (no body mods ‘cept pierced ears), and I’ve struck up more interesting conversations with people others would consider scary-looking dudes, just because I wanted to ask them about one of their cool tats. I’ve never had anyone get offended because I was checking them out. I think maybe they are hoping to recruit me to the ranks. Oneday…
BTW, HK, did you ever get that tattoo you were talking about? I thought you mentioned getting one in Finland, but then I don’t remember you mentioning it afterwards.
May 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Tattoos are awesome. I’m inked, myself, with plans to get more someday (when I’m not depending on soda cans and donating plasma just to be able to pay my bills).
May 20, 2012 at 2:17 am
Yeah ever since this darn recession and getting laid off my good job, I’ve not been able to afford a darn thing. Not tattoos, not any regretsy swag, and not health care. This economy has got to turn around dammit.
May 19, 2012 at 2:31 pm
I once had an old lady open my shirt (the blue uniform polo) to see the dragon tattoo on my chest when I was working at Petco. It was kinda creepy but she was fascinated by tattoos since her grandson got one of Jim Morrison.
I think some people get all pissy because they think others are judging them and whispering behind their backs.
Me? I really don’t care. I have a hodge podge of tattoos going down my arms and on my hands and am more than happy to talk about them. The author, Sherrilyn Kenyon, kept me at her table for 20 minutes while she showed off my Scythian tattoos (which I had done myself when I was bored) to other people at a book signing.
May 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm
The funny thing about my tattoos and piercings is that I forget I have them. Every now and then I’ll be in line at the grocery store of just standing on the subway and some random person will say “did that hurt?” or “wow that’s cool” and I have no idea that they’re talking to me.
But I must say I don’t have to wear a stupid t-shirt for someone to figure out I want to fuck — a quick glance at my crotch and you’ll get the message. And I don’t mind in the least when that’s getting started at.
May 20, 2012 at 2:21 am
I love that one, did it hurt. What do you think, genius? Needles in your skin do indeed hurt. I usually get that one for my lip piercing, way more than my tattoos. I also forget I have tattoos, they’re just part of me now.
May 20, 2012 at 2:36 am
I also overlook my tattoos as they are just part of my skin like my freckles are and I don’t directly think of them all the time.
I have a lot of skin covered in ink, but it can all be under a long sleeve shirt and shorts.
It’s really funny when I meet people in winter (usually school parents that I meet mid school year) and then continue to t-shirt weather in spring; it’s happened more than once that they’re surprised that I’m tattooed. We’ve talked for months and I didn’t think to mention it and they had no clue.
I also have had the moment where it takes me a second to realize they’re talking to me when they make a comment.
The only thing I’ve minded about the public and my art is one time when I was in a bar some creepy guy with too smooth hands grabbed my hand and started petting my arm. It was super awful.
The other one is when people move your clothes to get a better look without asking or warning you they’re going to.
May 19, 2012 at 8:16 pm
I openly admire other people’s tattoos and give them a big, friendly smile if they notice. I love ink and piercings. I just have so far not committed the income resources to getting inked (piercing is cheaper and I’ve got a couple of unobtrusive ones).
May 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm
If that woman’s story is even remotely true, it is a completely inappropriate reaction and she should have been arrested for assault. If she thinks it’s rude to stare, then why was SHE staring?
“I altered my body to make a statement of self expression and someone was STARING at me!!!” = First world problems.
May 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I had a client once with the word “Suicidal” tattooed on his forehead. Sadly, he was his own ink artist, and he did it looking into a mirror. So standing next to him and looking into the same mirror was the only way to really see the word was “Suicidal”. I once joked he should have chosen the word “Ambulance”. He actually thought that was pretty funny. RIP Joey. You were one of a kind.
May 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Today I had to spend a loooong while to city and then walked to the train station, when it was against her breasts.
Breasts were formally put up in a kind of top, model, which my wife calls “tit bag”. You know this model, also known as a miracle of God, for I as a professional clothing, or at least the former, I know that God is indeed a miracle that it will remain inside the 3 liters of fat on her.
Reflex glanced at those breasts, you know, just as soon be considered the African Stars, St. Peter’s Basilica, the Oresund Bridge …
Breast was attached to the back side of the woman. The woman was about 25 or 32 years or something and looked into my eyes, that cool, and was roughly parallel to range from about half a block away, and cried out, as it would have been a quarter or a half away, “staring at you my breasts, eh?”
The woman stared at the breasts over in a way that reminded me of the situation which is considered a so-called. naval guns from the receiving side…
May 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm
But another miracle of God descended upon me.
I knew what to say.
“What makes you assume that you would have something else to watch?”
The woman stared at me over the breast and said, “Srsss … Damn … Srsss “then glanced around and shouted,” Oh, Oh, Satan … Satan … “and went on towards the south, presumably for John’s Church Square, where the capacity to turn.
May 19, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Fuuuck, I just saw who this is. I’m a jerk. Thumbs away.
May 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm
I love your stories.
May 19, 2012 at 2:59 pm
So do I.
May 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 19, 2012 at 8:18 pm
Are you new here?
May 21, 2012 at 4:50 am
I’m not an everyday reader but I’m far from a ‘newbie’ and I can’t figure out P-H’s comments either. I’m not in favor of gratuitous rudeness about commenters’ writing styles, but I also don’t think it’s fair for some Gang of Regretsy Insiders to act as though P-H’s comments are (of course!) easily comprehended and get all snooty towards ‘outsiders’. Before getting all self-righteous in P-H’s defense, You down-thumbing insiders should recall that you’ve just finished thoroughly mocking the looks of the t-shirt model.
May 19, 2012 at 2:59 pm
“staring at you my breasts, eh?”
I SOOOOO want a T shirt with that emblazoned across the front.
May 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm
I didn’t know Yoda was Finnish.
May 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Now we know…
May 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm
May 19, 2012 at 3:10 pm
There..that’s better!
May 20, 2012 at 6:23 am
The world’s shortest man has bags under the eyes.
May 19, 2012 at 3:17 pm
oddly, a little reorganizing DOES make a difference. In one, you’re staring, in the other, the breasts stare at you…
May 19, 2012 at 4:04 pm
only delicacy
May 19, 2012 at 8:19 pm
I like it because it COULD be interpreted that the breasts are staring at you.
“Hey, lady! Are your tits staring at me?”
May 20, 2012 at 6:21 am
Wink and accusing Viewing?
May 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm
I can never be too stoned to go to work. I work at home. so even if I dont get out of bed in the morning I am at work….
long story short: I should go check out that lifejournal thing.
greets from germany (where it iss 22:34 and I am still “at work” …heheh)
May 19, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Ditto!
Working from home = internet 24/7.
Also, I work ON the internet. I feel Regretsy time should be deductible as a business expense for sanity-maintenance purposes.
May 19, 2012 at 1:45 pm
So thanks to HK I have a new word: diatribe.
I want to use this word as often as I can, I love how it sounds.
May 19, 2012 at 1:45 pm
I think the most offensive thing is the fact that this guy has no ass to speak of. Sadsies.
May 19, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Ass is not the only part that his profile pic revealed a lack of…
May 20, 2012 at 2:27 am
Seriously, the first thing I thought was…where’s his ass? World’s flattest ass. Because the way he looks otherwise, well that looks like most of my guy friends so it’s like, whatevs
May 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Now, I don’t have any body modifications nearly as extreme as that woman, nor would I act like a lunatic in a grocery store with my tits out–but I do have 2 facial piercings and a couple tattoos, and I shit you not, I did not do it so more people would look at me. I just like how it looks, its fun to me. I am actually ridiculously shy and self-conscious. That doesn’t mean that no one is allowed to look when they find it strange (I always forget about them until I see someone staring, and then im like, oohh). As long as its not blatantly mean, its fine. Unless I have a carton of milk nearby and then you better RUN.
May 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm
I concur wholeheartedly.
May 19, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Same here. I’m very introverted and don’t like talking to strangers, but with 2 full sleeves I’ve had to get used to it.
May 19, 2012 at 8:25 pm
I am so offended.
Why all this abuse of delicious dairy products? I hope you at least are throwing skim or 1%, not the good stuff.
May 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm
I have a couple of face piercings (nothing too off, just an eyebrow and nose) and more than in a few in my ears. At an old job I worked behind the Customer Service counter, some guy once told me, “You know, if God wanted you to have all those holes in your body, you would have been born with them.” I laughed and was like, “Are you seriously talking about my body holes? Rude.” He turned red and left.
May 19, 2012 at 1:56 pm
a couple of years ago, when i was a waitress, the tattoo on my upper arm showed a little bit from underneath my sleeve and an elderly lady i was waiting on grabbed my arm and was like, “why would you do that to yourself? you’re such a pretty girl, why would you do that?” i wish i would’ve had something witty to say, i just kind of stammered that it was a tattoo for my dad and continued serving drinks.
May 19, 2012 at 1:59 pm
you should have said, “because i love it! you should get one, too!” hahaha. i’ve won a couple old ladies over with that suggestion.
May 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm
See, this is how we know we did this for ourselves and not for attention. I rarely have anything clever to say when someone says something about my tattoos or why I have piercings. All of my tattoos are hidden (ie, they all come out to play when I’m wearing a bikini) and the people that comment usually make me flustered. However, I have never chased someone down while screaming like a banshee because of it.
May 19, 2012 at 2:39 pm
i can’t really tell if you’re implying i may have gotten my tattoo “for attention,” but i assure you i got mine because i really loved it, and it’s something i did for myself. i’m just very secure about having it. people don’t fluster me when they comment on my tattoo because i genuinely love it, and it’s easy to tell them so. i just happen to be a bit quicker on the draw when i get comments, i suppose–but being able to talk openly about my tattoo doesn’t mean i didn’t get my tattoo for myself, think for a long time on the design, or lessen the meaning of it. i don’t honestly understand why people who love their tattoos get upset when someone comments on them.
May 19, 2012 at 4:40 pm
My reply was to “makenoapology”
May 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Haha. The first time I met my best friend’s dad, he goes, “what’s all that shit in your face?” I’ve also been asked if beverages leak out of my mouth because of the lip piercing, which might actually be good party trick…
May 19, 2012 at 2:13 pm
I asked a coworker that very question the other day.
May 19, 2012 at 2:24 pm
The only reason I don’t have my nose pierced is because if I were to sneeze it would likely jettison any installed hardware at deadly speeds into the immediate vicinty.
I can, however, dribble a stream of liquid from my labret hole in the most decidely romantic way….if you’re into drooly, semi-interesting middle-aged FJLs.
May 19, 2012 at 8:33 pm
I pierced my own nose. My nose wall was too thick to get the little coil things into it, and regular nose studs were too short and kept falling out. Stud earrings were too big and the earring backs made it get infected. Finally let it grow in.
One day I’ll let a pro take a stab at it.
May 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm
I used to get this too. “You’d look so much better without those hooks in your face” “why do you have fishing lures in your face, did you fall into a tackle box?” and also some lame comments how easy it would be to use a magnet to drag me somewhere, even though titanium really isn’t even magnetic. And these are usually adult men saying these
Last fall at this stupid orientation camp for international students here in Canada this chick from Bangladesh asked me if I hated my parents and got all the piercings to offend them or something. I was super confused, she just asked “why do you hate your parents” out of nowhere :O Obviously I had to explain how it had nothing to do with my parents and that I’m also not really that age when people apparently do that kinda stuff to offend others, but I’m not sure if she believed me. She was 18 and there with her brother because girls can’t go to places alone, I was 26 but my average age seems to be 22 and under. Lol.
May 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Is this available in a onesie?
May 19, 2012 at 2:32 pm
BAHAHAHAHAHA
You can buy this one, as an alternative…
May 19, 2012 at 4:49 pm
From the mouth of my mother-in-law, I shit you not.
May 19, 2012 at 1:55 pm
I keep staring at the belt with the restraint loops on it and all I can think is…
a) You’re wearing it backwards.
b) If it’s that loose, what’s the point of the restraint loops?
May 19, 2012 at 4:32 pm
to tie his many children to, I am sure. I don’t think condoms work properly over prince alberts.
May 19, 2012 at 9:55 pm
Those are restraint loops? Hell’s bells, that explains a lot! I was wondering why his belt was covered with cock rings, and there was no answer to that I wanted to really consider.
May 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm
LJ is like an outrage machine some days. There’s various things that cause people to completely lose their shit. The post that will bring down LJ is one that combines body image, which fandom is better, cats, and where someone used the WRONG PRONOUN.
Seriously, any large com, the wrong pronoun used to describe someone that’s not part of the standard gender binary, 100+ comments of fighting over the correct pronoun.
May 19, 2012 at 2:19 pm
No need for discussion about what pronouns ‘should’ be used, they’re the ones used by the person who’s been misgendered. Glad I’m not on LJ any more, from your description and Helen’s that would drive me bananas.
May 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm
The seller also has this bra, which would go great with that shirt: http://www.etsy.com/listing/74383762/let-jesus-fck-you-bralette?ref=v1_other_2
May 19, 2012 at 5:43 pm
“Not recommended for boobs larger than a C cup.” Guess Jesus wasn’t into us big breasted ladies.
May 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm
A belt buckle that says “Sid”, eh? Where’s Marty? And, more importantly, where’s the Pufnstuf?
May 19, 2012 at 9:44 pm
“Come and play with me, Jimmy
Come and play with me.
And I will take you on a trip
Far across the sea.”
May 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Does LiveJournal still exist? I thought it was like Geocities.
I know I could just go look it up, but alas, I care enough to comment, not enough to Google.
May 19, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Sadly, yes. It still exists, even though nowadays, it’s more of a Russian Cash Cow, and a lot of the quality posters have migrated over to Dreamwidth (myself included, ’cause LJ basically axed a good chunk of features that storywriters and roleplayers utilized, and the customer service went down the shitter fast. DW is much better and they actually listen to concerns and try to make things go smoothly… And there’s less stupid. Gotta love the less stupid.)
May 19, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Good to know! I will examine this Dreamwidth thing at once.
May 19, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Yes. Mostly the communities are the active things on there. Things that may be of interest to FJLs
Bad Fur: http://bad-fur.livejournal.com/ terrible costumes (only visible to members, sadly)
Artist_Beware: http://artists-beware.livejournal.com/ terrible artists, terrible clients and what to do about them. Loads of advice on how to avoid custom work going wrong in the first place, and help fixing it when its gone completely pear shaped
ONTD_science http://ontd-science.livejournal.com/ there’s many oh no they didn’t spin offs, but this is for science. Make sushi with lasers! the REAL sonic screwdriver! the science of dinosaur farts! and entire tag called “Macguyver this!”
May 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm
In addition to the above poster’s suggestions, I recommend Weeping Cock, a community of people who gather to make fun of really terrible porn writing: http://weepingcock.livejournal.com/
It is HILARIOUS.
May 19, 2012 at 2:02 pm
I have a friend who has full arm sleeves, a couple of facial piercings and somewhat larger than normal ear holes. When she got married last year she had a loverly purplish blue dress that matched her arm sleeves. They all mean something to her and she has never done any of this for attention. The amount of people who think it’s okay to come up to her and comment on her tats or touch them is astounding. She was featured on the Cheeseburger wedding site and everyone liked it except one commenter who said she should cover herself because “It was her wedding day for God’s sake!” I was so pissed. She’s nothing like the woman April talked about, and she doesn’t mind people looking, but hands off!
May 19, 2012 at 2:09 pm
wtf, people touch her? Do they smell her arms, too, like they think they’re the wallpaper from Wonka’s chocolate factory? I am not a violent person but if people touch me without my permission, regardless of whether I have tattoos or not, they would get a swift suckerpunch to the throat.
May 19, 2012 at 2:17 pm
Hmmm…..scratch-n-sniff tattoos…..imagine the fuckery that would ensue!!!!!
May 19, 2012 at 10:10 pm
They’re all scratch and sniff, technically. But even the roses smell like B.O.
May 19, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Yes, people come up and poke, stroke and just generally touch her. I don’t care who you are, you don’t touch someone without their permission! She’s happy to let people look if they ask, but when a random person grabs your arm? Hell no.
May 19, 2012 at 4:16 pm
I have no tattoos, and only a few extra ear holes- but as a mother of two, I can sympathize. I was always surprised by the number of people who felt totally ok with coming up and touching my belly… and then asking me about my pregnancy as though it was any of their business.
May 20, 2012 at 9:52 am
That is what I dread the most! I’m thinking of grabbing the strangers belly at the same time… I’ve got a few months to come up with some better ones.
May 20, 2012 at 2:46 am
Yeah, there’s a few people out there that don’t realize it’s absolutely not okay to just touch people you don’t know.
I’ve got a tattoo on each arm that goes from top to bottom and there are people that just feel fine touching it, most of the time we’ve been talking so it’s not too bad, but once it was someone behind me at the grocery store and that was kind of weird.
May 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm
I have (small) tattoos on each wrist. People (especially older men; I’m a young-looking – and probably terrified-looking 23-year-old who works as a clerk at a video rental store, so older men abound) have NO qualms about grabbing me by the wrist and inquiring about my (admittedly regretable now that I’m no longer eighteen) tattos. It freaks me the fuck out! Mine have a lot of meaning to me, but I’m getting them lasered the moment I have enough money just to avoid the grabbing/constant questions.
May 19, 2012 at 3:56 pm
My one and only is on my upper thigh and if *anyone* tried to touch me there I’d smack the hell out of them. As much as I would like to get more tattoos, and in more visible places, things like this stop me.
May 19, 2012 at 8:52 pm
That is NOT appropriate. If I worked with you they would be deterred by my angry Fat Jealous Glare powers.
May 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Wasn’t that wallpaper lickable, too? That gives me heebie-jeebie mental images of people licking strangers in stores. O.o
May 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm
I plan on getting a cute little yeti tattoo in honor of my brother. (We call him Yeti.) If anyone grabs me to look, I’ll make sure to let him or her know that the yeti is a real 6 foot 4 inch, 420 pound man and if they don’t let go of me, they’ll have to meet him under unfortunate circumstances.
Looking is fine. Touching is a big no-no. People do it because they think anyone deviant to the “norm” is public property and open to criticism.
May 20, 2012 at 10:01 am
Ugh. People do that when you have unusual hair and/or clothing too. I can ignore stares or comments, but keep your hands the fuck off me if I don’t know you.
May 19, 2012 at 2:05 pm
LJ permanent account? Yeah, I gots one.
May 19, 2012 at 5:19 pm
Oooh, me too! LJ was THE THING in college and I didn’t want to lose any of those tired Harry Potter fanfic moments!
May 19, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Considering this post was on LiveJournal, you probably shouldn’t spend too much time trying to understand her reaction, since what probably actually happened was that she noticed some dude looking at her tattoos, thought briefly about flipping him off, decided that would be too much work, shuffled to the check-out and bought her stuff. On the way home, she thought of a much better story.
Oh, Livejournal. I love and miss you. Always.
May 19, 2012 at 2:47 pm
I was going to say the same thing. Well, similar thing. I doubt she would’ve been bitching on her LJ account if things really happened that way, and instead would’ve been trying to post bail.
May 20, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Yeah–it’s like every story told on cf_hardcore where the Oppressed Childfree Person brags about how they, like, totally pwned a small child and his/her parents with their superior, non-breederific intelligence, wit, and daring.
LJ: giving bratty teenagers and socially inept basement dwellers a chance to rewrite history since 1999.
May 19, 2012 at 2:07 pm
I always go grocery shopping in my swim suit. The freezer section is fun!
May 19, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Sad to see that for Sid from Toy Story it wasn’t just a phase. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.
May 19, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Pffft. That’s a sign of a non-conformist hipster hiding under that tattooed skin – they all want it both ways, with credit to boot.
I’m a hateful, agressive bitch who can talk a circle saw to death, and the best spontaneuos conversations I’ve ever had with conservative-looking folks were on account of my piercings (facial included) and (many) tattoos, usually at the grocery store.
The recipes I got from the squares were, however, much better than those from the hipsters. Give me tater tot casserole over kale any day!
CF4L, bitches.
May 20, 2012 at 10:04 am
I love when the most prim-looking old ladies are actually the ones to talk with me, and we get to talking cooking, crafting, or gardening.
Pass the tater tots!
May 19, 2012 at 2:19 pm
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May 19, 2012 at 2:21 pm
This is just disgusting! Skinny jeans are so last year.
May 19, 2012 at 2:25 pm
He advertises that he’d rather be fucking on his t shirt in a desperate attempt to actually get someone to LET him fuck them!
May 19, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I don’t mind people looking at me…its just when they walk up and touch you or lift up the back of your shirt in the middle of the grocery store- that irritates the shit out of me.
May 19, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Are these people unaware that the personal-space bubble exists even if you have tattoos and/or piercings?
May 19, 2012 at 5:16 pm
In fact, a stranger putting their hands on you without permission is battery, and depending on the circumstances and the jurisdiction, it’s either a felony or a misdemeanor. Battery doesn’t only mean hitting or beating someone; it means *any* offensive bodily contact that’s purposefully done (as distinct from accidentally bumping into someone and the like.)
An ex of mine found this out the hard way. Used to come home from his anger management classes absolutely fuming.
May 20, 2012 at 2:50 am
I find myself wanting to talk to them like four year olds: “I know I have pretty tattoos and you like them/are curious about them, but you may not ever touch people or move their clothing without permission!
May 19, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Shirt is
Meh, Guy is a guy. My favourite thing happened a few weeks ago. I am your average middle age woman, work in a conservative field, typical mom, unless you know me, I manage a metal band and have multiple tats, hidden unless I choose to show them. I was admiring the work on a kid ahead of me, he turned around, saw me looking and started ranting about how i was judging him, yadda yadda.. turns out I have way more tattos then him! Now who’s the judge, beyotch!May 19, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I know a guy who got a little crown tattooed on his bald head…cuz he’s da king. Everyone started calling him Jughead instead. Pretty awesome tattoo fail.
May 19, 2012 at 2:30 pm
As a tattooed person, there is no way I can defend that shit. Poor quality hipster tattoos just make my head hurt and deserve to be mocked. Oh, and the Mensa member who sells this stuff is from the same city as me, so there is a high chance these people are actual bona fide crackheads.
May 19, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Hey, I’m from the Hammer too! I’ve seen this guy around, and if he is who I think he is, he’s actually a friendly guy.
I think ‘poor quality hipster tattoos’ are often a direct result of the image chosen. There are some pretty amazing tattoo artists in the city, and I’ve seen shitty work by many of them, usually to no fault of their own.
May 19, 2012 at 4:39 pm
THIS. I have friends who were so proud of their tattoos that they drew themselves. The artist traced over exactly what they drew, because they wanted it to be PERSONAL.
They really should have let the tat artist clean up the images. And redraw them entirely. Whoops.
Now there are people who see them and think they got a shoddy inker. Nope!
(Although in the case of my cousin it was a bad artist. she let her boyfriend at the time do some freehand stupidity huge across her ribcage. I told her how shit it looked and she defended it as being his ‘style,’ like graffiti. Not long after they broke up she paid to have that shit covered.)
May 19, 2012 at 2:38 pm
I was friends/coworkers with a lady with big bold nasty face tats, a bone through the nose, and chains between her tackle box face piercings. She sometimes worked with various sideshows, and has been on tv for her freakshow face. She was always upset about people looking at her. She’s a sweet person, but c’mon, lady, don’t be clueless.
May 19, 2012 at 2:53 pm
I couldn’t agree more. It isn’t some sad generic disorder that causes mutilated faces, ears, or hideous tattoos! It’s a show of feathers! Fools!
May 19, 2012 at 2:57 pm
I’m pretty sure I can smell that guy from here.
May 19, 2012 at 3:08 pm
I would have liked to organize the race BBC Petya Palooza, but I got the idea for such a late stage that there was no time to organize the awards and diplomas.
“Petya has chosen today, 11.may ….”
May 19, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Oh wow…I made a Sims3 character that looked like him. Named him Otto Lotto and gave him the gaudiest trailer like home I could make.
May 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm
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May 19, 2012 at 3:26 pm
I started getting tattoos last year at age 52. Lookers are welcome.
May 19, 2012 at 3:56 pm
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May 20, 2012 at 9:01 am
No, that’s how it was written. Maybe she took poetic license and made herself look like a tool.
May 20, 2012 at 9:22 am
Interesting that your immediate reaction to this is that HK’s “embellishing” the story; based on nothing but your own biases. You’re not willing to even entertain the possibility that the woman in it might just be an asshole.
What, people with complicated chestpieces can’t be jerks? Everyone with body mods is totally well-adjusted, it’s just the rest of the world that’s fucked?
You either don’t spend enough time on LJ to know what it’s like, or you spend way too much time there and are overly-defensive.
May 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm
I have my lip pierced because I think it’s cute, not because I want people staring at it all the time.
The best was when a kid told his mom that I had an ulcer on my face. Thanks, brat.
May 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Kids are the worst! It reminds me of when I was mentoring a little girl and she touched my tummy through my shirt and asked me what it was. When I looked down at my shirt, thinking she meant the Beatles lyrics printed on it, she said “OOOOH! It’s your belly!”
May 19, 2012 at 4:17 pm
The touchy-feely thing is indeed strange. I have long white person dreads (but I’m definitely not a dirty hippie, my mane is clean, dyed black, pretty and smells awesome, obviously), and people comment on them all the time on this new continent. Back home in F-land nobody ever really said a thing, so it’s kinda weird how everyone suddenly likes this thing so much they have to come up to me and say it. And it’s always something positive, since this is Canada. They occasionally also touch it, some ask, some don’t. It’s not like someone randomly comes and grabs my mane, usually it happens when I’m already talking to them. I just find it strange when people don’t even ask if they can do it, and then just start groping my hair :O
I don’t really mind though, it is sorta amusing every time it happens
It’s just something I’m not used to, like when strangers start talking to me even though I try my best to look super dangerous.
In Finland, we don’t talk.
May 20, 2012 at 2:57 am
I’m a girl and junior year in high school I had a buzz cut because I felt like it. I didn’t mind when people wanted to talk about it, ask why I did it, or ask if they could feel it, but it was super weird when people (and not always people that were previously in your line of site) just rubbed my head out of nowhere.
May 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm
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May 19, 2012 at 6:09 pm
But did you really have to fail them right back?
May 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Please shower before entering the gene pool.
May 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm
I run into this constantly with the nouveau-punks from MySpace et al., dye your hair pink, blue and black and use 2 cans of hairspray to make it look like a turkey is squatting on your head, get 6 lip rings, gauges and go out wearing your sisters pants + half of Hot Topic, then complain that OMG, WHY DO PEOPLE LOOK AT ME?
The. Point. Is. To. Make. People. Notice. You. We didn’t get mohawks to blend in (and btw our clothing had a billion safety pins holding it together because otherwise it would have fallen off. Like Katherine Hepburn.)
May 19, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Funny how mohawks have been around for a good 40 years or so but each generation of kids coming up thinks they’re a hot new rebellion-style. I wonder how long this will keep up? Unto the third generation?
May 19, 2012 at 6:13 pm
“I want to rebel, but not get in trouble!”
May 19, 2012 at 4:29 pm
I remember seeing this post when it was first posted, and the “as you do” still absolutely kills me.
May 19, 2012 at 4:30 pm
I try not to think about the appearance of the IT guy. Just fix the Damn computer and you can look like whatever you want.
May 19, 2012 at 4:35 pm
MY friend who has pink hair is over right now and I asked her about this particular thing, and she says “No when people stare at me, I usually smile at them, I have pink hair, it’s for smiling with!”
Normally, she says, this leads to conversations about what she uses to pink it with how often she has to do it to keep it looking good, etc. and she has noticed a trend in that Older Ladies often times will say “I wish I could do that.”
All in all she says it’s made her less shy, and she finds it a great way to talk to people.
The one thing we agree on that we both do not care for is when people see a tattoo (we both have tattoos) and say “Did it hurt?”
We feel these people are just giving advanced notice that they are stupid, and normally try not to get into conversations with them.
I personally answer them with “Of course it hurt, I paid someone a lot of money to slice ink into my skin with a vibrating needle.”
May 19, 2012 at 4:57 pm
May 19, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Aw, it’s just one of those questions people think they are supposed to ask. I’d rather hear “did it hurt?” than “Oh my, at your age? You’ve messed yourself all up now.”
May 19, 2012 at 6:42 pm
I usually don’t mind people asking about relative pain. I have a small tattoo on the top of my foot, and a fairly small tattoo centered right over my spine. People ask which was worse pretty frequently, and it doesn’t annoy me.
May 20, 2012 at 10:44 am
which hurt worse is an intelligent question tho, cause some areas do hurt worse, I will totally talk to that person. My experience has been that people who ask me if they hurts then move on to trying to retroactively talk me out of getting it in the first place.
Demonstrating that they have no concept of “vibrating needle” or “permanent”
And they usually cap the conversation off with “Well, *I* would NEVER do that to myself!” in a superior tone.
People who ask which hurt more are the ones who turn out to be contemplating one of their own and want information on location.
May 20, 2012 at 2:59 am
It seems for me the people that are usually asking if it hurt are people maybe thinking of getting one themselves one day.
May 19, 2012 at 5:00 pm
I’ve had my tattoos, piercings and multi colored hair for so long (most of it over 20 years) that I’m always baffled at first when people stare at me then I just smile at them. Then they either start talking to me or run screaming…I guess they don’t expect someone who looks like me to be friendly…or maybe I smile like a serial killer, not sure which it is.
May 19, 2012 at 6:35 pm
And as to the question, “Did that hurt?”, usually said while staring at my septum tusk, I either say, “Not at all” or “of course, why do you think I did it?” Either way, it shuts them up nicely.
May 19, 2012 at 8:51 pm
That is a very good point. I tell people you need to love the design enough to endure pain for it.
May 20, 2012 at 10:46 am
when people ask me why I usually say
“You spend your whole life gathering scars, I just wanted to choose what a few of them looked like”
May 19, 2012 at 5:17 pm
I don’t mind people staring at my tattoos, but like others have said, that’s not why I got them. If people want to ask, compliment, or even put down, it’s all fine with me. Everyone has their opinion, whether or not they want to keep it inside is up to them.
One thing that sucks is that it’s been hard to get a job after I moved because at least one piece shows at some time or another. I have flowers down my sternum, hummingbirds you can’t even see, and faded swirls on each earlobe (no earrings for me). I used to have a labret piercing but have taken it out because it’s probably for the best. If it’s any attitude about body mods that I wish the world would change, it’s that tattoos and removable piercings affect how one does their job, at least when it comes to most people. My job is performance first, appearance second. I get that companies have images to uphold but it sure is frustrating being turned down before I even get to show someone what I do best.
May 19, 2012 at 6:47 pm
That LJ woman’s story was absolutely full of bullshit, but I have to say that there’s good stares and bad stares, no matter what all you do to yourself. I like people admiring my (fairly small) tattoos, and I like looking at other’s.
But there are people who just creep me the fuck out when they look. There are people who can be creepy about anything. One time, I was sitting on the bus with several of my attractive friends. A guy nearby starts staring at my ankles. A few minutes later, he moved on to my roommate’s ankles. Then our other friends’ ankles. Then back through the rotation. And if someone tells me I should expect to have my ankles stared at like pieces of ankle-meat when I wear nice boots…yeah, fuck no.
May 19, 2012 at 6:52 pm
Creepy weird!!!
May 19, 2012 at 7:39 pm
This reminds me of the ladies who cosplay (yes, I go to conventions) half-naked characters with acres of cleavage and half their butts hanging out, and get TERRIBLY offended when the fellows look at them. “That guy was LOOKING at my BREASTS!”. And they’re offended when men want to take pictures, too. I do not get it. I cosplay Emma Frost and I go expecting there to be some tit starin’ going on. If my boobs aren’t getting looked at when I’m cosplaying Emma, then SOMETHING HAS GONE TERRIBLY WRONG.
May 19, 2012 at 7:44 pm
Oh, god. Do NOT get me started on that. If you’re going to a con and are cosplaying, expect to get your picture taken, at least once. Even if it’s just the back of you as someone else is getting their picture snapped. End of discussion.
May 19, 2012 at 11:08 pm
Even if you DON’T go dressed up, expect to get in some photo. Collateral damage.
May 20, 2012 at 12:43 am
Exactly. Unintentional photobombs happen. Some can be hysterically funny, too.
May 22, 2012 at 10:41 am
Indeed. It boggles the mind that one would go to a convention and get all dressed up and expect people to NOT take pictures. And yes there are creepy dudes/creepy chicks, but you just have a sense of humour about that shit. Last convention I was at I was on an escalator and some guy tried to get a panty shot (foiled by my wearing shorts under my miniskirt, muahaha). I thought it was pretty damn funny, allbeit creepily so, but it’s a good convention story! Especially because I was massively confused by why he was trying to do at the time.
May 19, 2012 at 9:29 pm
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May 20, 2012 at 9:25 am
The part about the dude being “creepy” is all your invention.
May 20, 2012 at 11:02 am
Thumbs down?
It’s true, though! Nothing in the original story mentioned the guy being creepy. All it said was that he was looking at the girl.
May 22, 2012 at 11:21 am
I’m not saying ‘Hey! Everyone should be happy to be creeped upon!’. You don’t have to be okay with people ogling you, but you DO have to expect them to LOOK. The same goes for men (and in conventions I actually find that more women touch shirtless men than men touch skimpily-clad ladies. I’ve never been groped—-the most I’ve had has been men putting their arm around my waist to take a picture with me—-but my male friend with a six-pack who likes cosplaying shirtless guys has had women come up and just start groping his abs and biceps without even saying hello).
He wasn’t expecting that, but he was expecting pictures. Which he got, and was not offended by.
Also, I’m not talking about streetwear here. I’m talking about conventions. Don’t go to a convention and dress up if you’re not okay with pictures being taken.
May 19, 2012 at 9:53 pm
If I were beautiful enough to cosplay, and cosplay well, I would be extremely humbled to have people taking my picture. That’s like the highest honor. While that picture could and will probably end up in the deep dark nethers of the Internet or some nerd’s hard drive, it could and very well may also land in places of gold and glory. Some people even make their living just by modeling via cosplay, which blows my mind into the Milky Way enough as it is.
May 22, 2012 at 10:45 am
It is! I always get to feel like a movie star for a weekend when going cosplaying. I put so much work into my costumes and it’s AMAZING when people want to take pictures of me or get all excited when they see me cosplaying one of their favorite characters. Conventions are like a solid three days of glee.
May 19, 2012 at 11:34 pm
I… Actually really want this shirt. Not because I particularly want to be having sex, but because I want to silkscreen ‘playing water polo’ on the back. Or ‘practicing a tuba.’ Or ‘climbing a tree.’
Something innocuous, so that when people freak out I can stop and say, “You don’t understand! It’s all about my love of underwater basket weaving!”
May 20, 2012 at 10:17 am
I remember you from LJ, americanmidol
May 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Does his belt buckle say STD?
May 21, 2012 at 4:09 am
Totally late to the party, but I just had to add that as a long time LJ enthusiast, this is the most accurate description of what is going on at LJ.
May 22, 2012 at 6:26 pm
Tattoos are like bumper stickers. You kind have to expect people to want to get a good look at the funny ones.
May 22, 2012 at 7:48 pm
I’d rather be not looking at this guy. It looks like one of his parents was a baboon.