Etsy or Regretsy? Your Guesses and Answers
Earlier today I asked you to tell me which of the following items are real listings on Etsy, and which ones we made up. As always, we have thoroughly enjoyed your guesses, and the tortured logic you’ve used to make your decisions.
Here are your best guesses, and the correct answers.
1. CINDERELLA SHOE
YOUR GUESSES:
“Etsy because April would never leave the time stamp on a picture.”
“Etsy – reeks of desperation. Just surprised there aren’t more stray cat hairs on the towel.”
“If the shoe was Etsy, it would have been made with tampon strings.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
2. JAR OF RUSTY BOLTS (YOU DON’T GET THE JAR)
YOUR GUESSES:
“Etsy, because you don’t get the jar.”
“If the nuts and bolts aren’t Regretsy, I’m moving to the moon.”
“Has to be Regretsy. They spelled ‘assemblage’ properly.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
3. ROSEANNE AND DAN EARRINGS
YOUR GUESSES:
“I don’t want to live in a world where Roseanne head earrings aren’t readily available for purchase.”
“Etsy. April is too lazy to make those.”
“Do you think they could make a Sara Gilbert head for a labial piercing? Just asking for a friend.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
4. DECOUPAGED DETERGENT BOTTLE
YOUR GUESSES:
“Etsy, because the word art at the bottom would take too fucking long.”
“If the High Tide is real that’s enough reason to keep marijuana illegal forever.”
“Regretsy. A true craftard would have covered the cap, too”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
5. CD GARDEN ART
YOUR GUESSES:
“If the CDs are not Regretsy, I may have to spend a whole week in bed, eating ice cream and gently rocking back and forth.”
“I think the CDs are Etsy, because I doubt April has a table that ugly in her house.”
“Please be fake please be fake please be fake.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
6. CLOTHESPINS IN A TUB
YOUR GUESSES:
“I’m calling this Regretsy – a perfect storm of fake Etsy, it’s just a little too good.”
“Regretsy. If they were Etsy, they’d be at least $12.”
“Clothespins had better be Regretsy because they irritate me just looking at them.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
Thanks for playing!
May 15, 2012 at 2:47 pm
I have hundreds of cds!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BANK!
May 15, 2012 at 2:58 pm
If they’re not AOL cd’s you can’t list them as vintage.
May 15, 2012 at 3:11 pm
I also have a large collection of old cds from various sources, although mainly unlabled blank cds that were poor quality. Reflective on both sides.
But if I really want to go for the vintage, thing, what about my collection of 3.5″ floppy disks, or even better, my collection of 5.25″ floppy disks. What could they be upcycled as though?
May 15, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Coasters, DUH.
May 15, 2012 at 8:30 pm
So Rosanne and Dan are real plus the seller also has a Batman and Robin version!!At $7.00 the price is a steal. When you figure in just the sellers cost to license the image rights -how can she be making money. Must be an Etsy secret method
May 15, 2012 at 3:49 pm
The 5.25″ floppies make great frisbees, as my brother and I discovered…until one hits you in the eye.
May 15, 2012 at 7:05 pm
The 5.25″ floppies can be used as solar eclipse glasses.
May 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Those CDs … I can’t … this … brain … aaarrrrggghhhh.
And again, it makes me sad that the screws and clothespins are actually something I would need to take inspiration from for my day job. They would LOVE to own those photographs.
I’m going to go hide in my snuggie and cry for a while.
May 15, 2012 at 6:05 pm
I think it would actually be cool to shop decades worth of small hardware just about anywhere, in large lots. The way those corporate assholes relentlessly change the size of stuff is pure evil.
An old roomie of mine went out of his way to ask for the trunk of small hardware when he moved in with his girlfriend. I most appropriately responded, “sure, no problem.”
I still keep an eye out to collect that stuff, though.
May 15, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Wow, the only ones I guessed right were Roseanne, the Tide bottle and the shoe. Does April make these crafts just for Etsy or Regretsy games? Because that is commitment to a (always entertaining and wonderful) joke.
May 15, 2012 at 3:04 pm
OMG I just bought 8 pairs of earrings from the Rosanne earring lady, though sadly, not the Rosanne ones, they were SOLD already.
May 16, 2012 at 11:23 am
I fucking WANT those Roseanne and Dan earrings.
May 15, 2012 at 4:20 pm
I made the Tide bottle, but the hideous pipe cleaner shoe was a “gift” from one of you bastards.
May 15, 2012 at 5:54 pm
Oh good. I was worried about your sanity if you took the time to make that.
May 16, 2012 at 12:20 am
My hub hangs CDs on our fig tree. And yup, it makes our back yard look like a cross between Ma and Pa Kettle and Flash Gordon, but it does spook the birds.
But pay for ‘em? meh.
May 16, 2012 at 12:50 pm
I’m just glad marijuana doesn’t have to stay illegal forever.
May 15, 2012 at 7:17 pm
I am in love with the earring lady’s shop! It’s crafty with a whisper of copyright infringement.
May 15, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Look, I was prepared to be pleasantly disappointed with the real/fake statuses of everything but #5. When that was revealed to be an actual product you can purchase being marketed as handmade I started yelling “No!” and I’m still yelling. Thanks a lot, Regretsy — you may have finally broken me.
May 16, 2012 at 5:45 am
I don’t think you understand. Each CD comes with its own twist tie and length of ribbon!
May 15, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Holy crap! How long did the shoe take you April? And did you add the date, or misset your camera? I was SO sure that was Etsy! Sigh… 3/6. She’s getting REALLY good at this.
May 15, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Bronc put the time stamp on the picture. I thought it was a nice touch.
May 15, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Yes, if we define nice as “sheer evil”.
May 15, 2012 at 4:53 pm
I must go get the Rudolph earrings for my sister!
May 15, 2012 at 2:52 pm
DAMMIT! One of you already snapped up the earrings. Curses.
May 15, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Good news, you can still get Golden Girls!
May 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm
SOPHIA EARRINGS.
May 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm
And these are still available!
May 15, 2012 at 7:19 pm
I may buy the crap out of those. And wear them often.
May 15, 2012 at 9:18 pm
I want these so hard. Why am I broke? This shop is pretty awesome, I gotta say. I also want the Ralphie in the bunny suit earings.
May 27, 2012 at 11:13 am
I’m pretty sure I NEED the leg lamp ones, as well as all Golden Girls. Amahzing.
May 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm
I’m kinda in love with the anatomical heart necklace and the shark earrings.
May 15, 2012 at 2:53 pm
HK has been a very busy gal- decoupaging and gluing shitty chenille stems to shoes…
DId the dogs help?
May 15, 2012 at 4:52 pm
I may have imported the shoe from Bali.
May 15, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Ugh…I was completely off. I’ll try again next time.
May 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm
I want the 420 thing! It’s so stupid it is awesome!
May 15, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Email me your address and I’ll send it to you.
May 15, 2012 at 7:25 pm
She will, too. Why the fuck would she want to keep it? And then you will have an authentic OOAK piece of Regretsiana to call your very own. You lucky bastard.
May 16, 2012 at 4:22 pm
And its been inside Helen and Bronc’s home for wayward dogs and FJLs. more than can be said for most of us…
May 15, 2012 at 11:53 pm
Maybe in the future, you can auction off the fake ones afterwards for the charity fund?
May 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Holy shit on a shingle, I wasted all those years making good stuff and not selling it when all I had to do was make crap and money? Crawling back in my cave now, thanks for the deeper depression, now you can go govern yourself.
May 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Oh, that happens all the time. Will you marry me? I used to ask guys but then they would try to pimp me to acquaintances. Much nicer to merely be told “No.”
May 16, 2012 at 12:08 am
These things always make me feel like I want to open my own shop filled with bullshit and sell it. I’ve got like a 3 gallon bucket FILLED with rusty old nails and random shit. Oh, and there is a horse nearby so I can also sell horse shit… and rocks and a PONY. I can sell pony shit too!
Just forget making anything nice or pretty and well made.. I’ll sell pony shit. I can see the ruined Xmases now.
“sorry I didn’t get you a pony for christmas this year but to give you an idea what you’ll be shoveling if I did, here’s a tiny sample”
May 16, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Call it a “make your own pony kit” tell the kids if they keep watering the pony poo it will grow into a real pony (faerie dust sold separately)
May 15, 2012 at 2:58 pm
Man..I was only off by one. I missed the High Tide.
I have tons of old rusty screws and bolts from my grandfather, sitting in the shed.
I think I’m opening an Etsy store.
May 15, 2012 at 2:59 pm
How is there “Only 1 available” for an order of three crappy cd’s that won’t play?
May 15, 2012 at 2:59 pm
THESE ARE MOTHERFUCKING BOSS: http://www.etsy.com/listing/77698252/dorothy-from-the-golden-girls-earrings
May 15, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Finally a reason for the second holes I got pierced because it was the 90′s — to wear all four Golden Girls earrings at once!
May 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Whoa, she has Pee Wee Herman too. I better hide my credit card FROM MYSELF.
May 15, 2012 at 9:18 pm
Love the expression on her face. However I succumbed to temptation and bought the Bob Rossi pair. http://www.etsy.com/listing/70399962/bob-ross-earrings
Ah, and right here a happy, happy FJL!
May 15, 2012 at 2:59 pm
The pipe cleaner shoe shows true dedication to fucking with us. Bravo, April.
May 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm
One must ask: was the shoe done entirely without unpaid Finnish labor?
I suspect not.
May 15, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Hey! It’s a collective!
May 15, 2012 at 6:07 pm
And, see, in my mind the veterans’ poppy on that shoe justified the price tag. I bow to the master of fuckery.
May 15, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Your dogs are so stinking cute!
I only got 3 right, but I guess that enlightenment is the point of this game.
May 15, 2012 at 3:03 pm
I’m clearly not drunk or high enough to be an Etsy seller.
May 15, 2012 at 3:04 pm
These posts always make me want to go murder humanity.
May 15, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Only when they sell.
May 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Gah! I got the first one wrong. Can I try again?
May 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Huh I got half of them right. I still can’t believe you made the pipe cleaner shoe (in the “you are fucking awesome” sense).
May 15, 2012 at 4:24 pm
I didn’t actually make it. One of my four carpenters did.
May 15, 2012 at 3:06 pm
As usual, I got exactly zero right. The two that I really believed HAD to be Etsy because even April and Bronc’s dedication to fucking with us only extends so far were, of course, Regretsy. Honestly, I’m just not wired right for this game. My congratulations to you, April and Bronc, for your ability to turn screwing with us into such a high art form!
May 15, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Any fool has a 50/50 chance with each guess, so statistically getting zero correct is less likely than the 50% that I got. I admire you for that.
May 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm
I got them all right! WOO!
May 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Me too! That’s a first.
I am so smart
I am so smart
S-M-R-T
I mean, S-M-A-R-T…
May 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm
I only got 2 right. But that was by guessing that the 2 stupidest things were etsy! Good job with the fakes HKpril – That tide bottle is the awesomist!
May 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm
I knew those damn clothespins were Etsy the minute I saw them. The only thing missing was the Zydeco-playing, coleslaw-eating, faerie-inspired description.
May 16, 2012 at 8:52 pm
AND THE CLOTHESPINS SOLD. TODAY. I mean, ! They’re CLOTHESPINS! Was it the twine tie or the tiny bucket? My head hurts, I need a minute to lie down….
May 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm
I only missed Roseanne and the clothespins.
Hey, that sounds like a whmsicle band name.
May 16, 2012 at 5:29 am
I saw them at The Troubador!
May 15, 2012 at 3:31 pm
I need to come up with a formula for figuring out “Etsy or Regretsy”:
(level of descriptive douchebaggery [scale of 1-10] – # of “upcycled” references) / (price of materials x man hours)
>2 = Etsy
<2 = Regretsy
=2 = Coinflip
May 15, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Wow I actually got them all right…but this happens alot..first time at Bingo you normally win, first time you go fishing you normally catch one…then it’s a big down the shitter form there..So I will go with virgin luck
May 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Yeah, I didn’t play this time because it’s my anniversary, bitches, and I decided to tear myself away from the computer and spend some time with the hubby. BUT, I went through these like I WAS actually playing and only got one wrong (the first one, the Cinderella ugly shoe)…I should play along more often with the “Etsy or Regretsy” because I’m doing a lot better than I did the first time. And I don’t know if I should be sad about that or not.
May 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm
That last one is so classic creamy etsy it seemed a shoe-in as a fake. Damn it Regretsy! You’re messing with our minds.
May 15, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 16, 2012 at 4:51 am
Everyone knows someone who uses CDs in their garden, because everyone’s read it in a list of “easy ways to recycle” or “fun alternative uses for household objects” or “how to hoard and make it look kinda legitimate” in some magazine. The point is that you use your OWN shitty CDs, you don’t pay $1 each for someone else’s! And you don’t try and fob them off as handmade.
May 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm
OH, earring girl is the bomb!! I am heartened to know that there are others in the world who feel inappropriate love for Roseanne.
ALSO: Pee-Wee Earrings. Awwwe, SNAP!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/58882723/pee-wee-herman-earrings
May 15, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Oh my god, WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US SOONER THERE WERE BETTY WHITE EARRINGS!!!
May 15, 2012 at 4:14 pm
I just bought these!
Clearance! WHAT A STEAL.
May 15, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Clearly this seller needs to GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW AND BECOME ONE OF US.
She could make a killing with HK and Bronc earrings.
May 15, 2012 at 9:05 pm
Absolutely! Only one question: How many of those images are still under copyright protection, and does the seller have permission to sell those images?
May 16, 2012 at 7:28 am
I just went through and decided I needed all the earrings! I wish I could buy them
May 15, 2012 at 4:22 pm
I want to buy those Dan and Roseanne earrings – she is a feminist icon and he’s a big sexy dude! (I say without irony). But some fat, jealous loser has beaten me to it. Thankfully she has some Betty White and Kirk/Spock earrings, so I’ll just have to settle.
May 15, 2012 at 4:43 pm
I went back to the earring shop and bought Divine, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Kirk and Spock, and Carrie earrings.
Yes, I am the reason these people keep making money.
Also, I shall wear that shit without any trace of irony!
May 15, 2012 at 7:27 pm
I love that the biggest thing we all took away from this round of Etsy or Regretsy is that we all need these earrings. And now, I’m off to find some of my own, before you bunch of FJLs buy them all!
May 15, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Pretty awesome, isn’t it? That shop got 47 sales today. I wanna see pics of all you FJLs in your sweet earrings.
May 15, 2012 at 10:01 pm
She’s really sweet, too. I just got a really nice message from her. Regretsy can do some good!
(And she’s going to make me some Roseanne and Dan earings for me! I’m a happy fat, jealous loser today.)
May 15, 2012 at 10:04 pm
I cannot wait to wear Divine to work! I work as a librarian in a conservative university, so Divine will fit right in (not).
No one wants used CD bird scarers, but everyone wants those awesome earrings!
May 16, 2012 at 9:13 am
Me too! I snapped up some Heat Miser and Snow Miser earrings, and I will be the most festive FJL of all come Christmas! Crap, I should have bought the Bumble ones, too.
May 15, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Whose dogs are those in the pic with the weed bottle? And can I please have the little brown one?
May 15, 2012 at 7:03 pm
those are april’s dogs… but you might get the little brown one if it pees on her rug again..
May 15, 2012 at 5:15 pm
they are nNOT fucking upcycled she didn’t do anything to them!!! I can not believe the CD’s are actually for sale on etsy…..vomit
May 15, 2012 at 11:55 pm
Just happy there’s another person on the planet who shouts “They are NOT fucking upcycled!” about stuff. In another dimension, I bet we’re besties.
May 15, 2012 at 5:59 pm
The store with the Roseanne earrings may just be the coolest store on the planet. I hope she gets lots and lots of business from here. I’d buy stuff so hard, but neither of us has a job at the moment.
May 15, 2012 at 6:04 pm
I knew the shoe was fake; if it was from Etsy the seller would have claimed you could actually wear it and that it goes with everything.
May 15, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Holy Crap, the Roseanne earring shop is awesome! I think I’m gonna have to spend the next hour deciding what to get from her.
May 15, 2012 at 6:34 pm
I got them all right and I’m so proud of myself!
Holy crap, earring shop lady is my new favorite person in the world. She has Crypt Keeper and Adam West Batman earrings. I seriously wish I could wear them though. Curse you nickel allergy!
May 15, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Harley, go to SimplyWhispers.com for some nickel-free French hooks to proudly switch your Crypt Keeper Shrinky-Dinks(tm) onto. This is how I plan to be able to wear my “The Shining” earrings; although the bloody earlobes would be more apropos.
May 15, 2012 at 6:50 pm
I’m going earring shopping right now…
May 15, 2012 at 7:30 pm
HOLY SHIT, DARIA EARRINGS!
Someone please tell me I can pay on Etsy with something other than Paypal?
May 15, 2012 at 10:32 pm
You can, they give you instructions in checkout. I forget exactly how though. Go now!
May 16, 2012 at 10:29 am
If you send me a convo through etsy, we can totally work it out
May 16, 2012 at 10:49 am
And Falcore or Falkor earrings! I named a bracelet Falkor on my etsy before I let it expire. How cool!
May 15, 2012 at 8:28 pm
I got the cds and the clothespins correct, and that is just scary. I need a life.
May 15, 2012 at 8:47 pm
I suck at this game, however, I’m going to try the CD thing in my garden, since I’ve been collecting them for a different project for about 10 or 20 years now. (no, I’m NOT a hoarder!)
May 16, 2012 at 6:57 am
I once saw an entire car covered in CDs (well, okay, a picture of one, rather than seeing it in person), so I’m totally buying that you’re saving it for a project.
May 15, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Too cool, Bob Ross earrings!!! I want a pair with happy trees though.
May 15, 2012 at 9:42 pm
The earrings are from my etsy shop. Thank you sooooo much for all of your awesomely sweet words and orders today. I appreciate it so much! The Roseanne and Dan earrings are renewed for anyone who couldn’t get them earlier!! <3
May 15, 2012 at 10:07 pm
I think it’s lovely that those earrings were put up for mocking – and instead we’ve all rushed to buy some! I can’t wait to wear Divine to work!
May 16, 2012 at 7:34 am
I LOVE your shop. I’m going to be sending you a note soon about maybe some buttons-I’ve been looking for someone to make a couple of custom buttons for me and I’d love for you to get the business.
May 16, 2012 at 9:20 am
I love your shop! I see many more earrings in my future, but for now I’m going to wait by my mailbox for the Miser Brothers! Woo-hoo! Please stick around here and hang out with us all the time.
May 17, 2012 at 10:35 am
I absolutely love the Roseanne and Dan earrings. It has been 25 years since I last wore earrings. It took my dad and brother holding me down while my mom took out the only pair of earrings I ever wore … but I am willing to relive that traumatic experience again just to wear these.
May 15, 2012 at 10:36 pm
HK, have you considered putting the fake crafts up for sale afterwards? I would buy the hell out of some of these shitty crafts, especially if the proceeds went to April’s Army.
May 16, 2012 at 3:07 am
Okay to be fair last year I tied a CD to my balcony because it supposedly keeps pidgeons away. It did work for a few days, but why anyone would think they could sell that is a puzzle.
May 16, 2012 at 4:03 am
So I’ve never commented before (I’ve just been creepin’ on ya’ll for like 2 years, too shy to comment), but I LOVE those earrings and while looking at the seller’s fabulous shop, I was not surprised to find out that the owner is the same owner of another completely amazing shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/rainbowalternative
I recently bought one of her pieces ( a Tom Sellek baby onesie: http://www.etsy.com/listing/82250447/funny-baby-onesie-80s-tv-tom-selleck ) for my prego sister and even my stately old mamaw with the perma-frown cracked a smile at the baby shower. It was a Christmas miracle.
May 16, 2012 at 9:21 am
That’s awesome! I need to find someone having a baby so I can buy them a Morrisey onesie.
May 16, 2012 at 10:27 am
Actually, Rainbow Alternative is my girlfriend’s company..we are just both named Nicole…i know i know :/
May 16, 2012 at 5:36 am
5/6, that’s better than I usually do
Fooled by the pipe cleaner shoe.
I’m so glad that High Tide bottle was Regretsy. I was about to weep for humanity if that was real.
May 16, 2012 at 5:37 am
It took me a while but I realize now that I made a purchase from the earring lady last Christmas! I bought my mother in law a set of golden girls wine charms. It was a set of four, one of each head. My MIL was thrilled to get them and the seller was the sweetest lady on the planet.
May 16, 2012 at 10:26 am
Thank you so much for being so sweet! I’m glad your MIL loved the girls
May 16, 2012 at 11:07 am
I actually guessed them all correctly this time.
Wait, why does that make me want to kill myself?
May 16, 2012 at 12:11 pm
I am quite disappointed in the clothespin seller. I mean EVERYUONE knows that vintage clothespins should be painted pink and described as chippy and drippy (or was it dippy?) Anyway, I do not think Etsy should tolerate this lowering cupcake standards and should mandate that there be at LEAST some pinkness and or glitter or at a bare, minimum, a much more asinine description.
May 16, 2012 at 12:41 pm
I’m getting…better, at this.
(this frightens me)
May 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm
http://img2-llalt.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.159851606.jpg
Pure genius. Gene Wilder fo’ lyf.
May 16, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Okay, there are SO many earrings in that girl’s shop that I want! I can buy Betty White earrings!!! C’mon! It’s awesome!
May 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm
These posts always make me want to run out in the street naked shouting “The Apocalypse is nigh!”
June 20, 2012 at 9:18 pm
umm, the bolts and nuts sold….