Etsy or Regretsy?
It’s time to play…
Here’s how this works:
At least one of these is a real listing on Etsy. At least one of these was completely invented by us.
The question is, which is the Etsy, and which is the Regretsy?
Make your best guesses in the comments, but don’t cheat (if you do cheat, don’t post spoilers).
Answers will be posted in a few hours.
May 15, 2012 at 9:31 am
I’m hoping those Roseanne earrings are Etsy, so I can buy them. Those need to be in my ears like, NOW.
May 15, 2012 at 9:51 am
But what if I want two Roseannes or two Da–oh, just convo her. Okay then.
May 15, 2012 at 9:56 am
This – I pray to God – will be the only time I mention “Roseanne” and “a little head” in the same sentence.
May 15, 2012 at 10:22 am
I can’t imagine WHAT I would wear them to, but I YEARN for them!
May 15, 2012 at 10:22 am
I don’t want to live in a world where Roseanne head earrings aren’t readily available for purchase.
May 15, 2012 at 10:51 am
these have to be real, i can’t imagine helen making them just to say they are fake! hopefully no one is that cruel or has that much free time
May 15, 2012 at 11:42 am
YES. I was thinking that. I actually want these. They are amazing. Although two Dan’s is tempting. There is something weirdly jolly and friendly about John Goodman that I love. It may be Monsters, Inc. related.
May 15, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Not if I get to them first! Other earrings that need to be made: Mork and Mindy, Dharma and Greg, and Will and Grace.
May 15, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Also, Jeannie and Major Nelson, Samantha and either Darren, OOOH Gomez and Morticia Adams YEAH!!!!:-D
May 15, 2012 at 8:18 pm
“Snap snap”
Gomez and Morticia earrings need to be worn with Cousin Itt pasties!!
May 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm
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May 15, 2012 at 9:32 am
The shoe is Regretsy…the rest are all real.
May 15, 2012 at 12:35 pm
I agree, I think it’s the shoe
May 15, 2012 at 1:07 pm
I’m not sure, if Helen still has the fine motor control to make those after her years of heavy drinking I’ll be amazed.
May 15, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Did you ever watch WKRP in Cincinatti (or however it’s spelled)? There was an episode where Venus Fly wanted to do a PSA with Johnny Fever on the dangers of drinking. Venus would test Johnny’s motor skill reactions after each drink. They got better and more finely tuned.
May 15, 2012 at 9:33 am
Real, real, real, real, fake, real.
May 15, 2012 at 10:59 am
Looks like we’re in this together. Go team RRRRFR!
May 15, 2012 at 9:34 am
The first one must be real because that Cinderellas line is too delicious to be tongue in cheek.
The second must be fake because no real etsy seller would warn you about the lack of the jar– you’d just be rudely surprised when your shipment of bolts came without it.
Those earrings have to be real if there is justice in this world.
The laundry detergent bottle is real because only an etsy seller would dedicate that much time to learning how to make a stupid decal like that “Love Conquers All” thing.
The last two are fake because they’re too traditionally etsy to be shocking.
May 15, 2012 at 12:14 pm
I had the same answers for similar reasons. My coworkers seem to think they’re all real. I always come to this game after the answers are posted- THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME
May 15, 2012 at 9:35 am
Shoe: Etsy
Nuts n bolts: Etsy
Roseanne & Dan: Etsy
Marijuana bottle: Regretsy
CDs: Etsy
Clothespins: Regretsy
I wonder how much the CDs are…
May 15, 2012 at 10:37 am
Shoe: Etsy because April would never leave the time stamp on a picture.
Nuts n bolts: Regretsy, because you don’t get the jar.
Roseanne & Dan: Etsy, please please please!
Marijuana bottle: Regretsy, because decoupage is to much cutting and pasting.
CDs: Regretsy.
Clothespins: Regretsy
May 15, 2012 at 9:35 am
The “upcycled reflectors” must be Regretsy. I think I recognize that AOL trial disc from the barn wood photo shoot.
May 15, 2012 at 10:20 am
Whether it’s Etsy or Regretsy, it’s a real thing. I’ve seen people use them.
May 15, 2012 at 10:54 am
I have an awesome Level 4 Cat Dream Raper made by Cybele. Et voila:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/88221876/level-4-dreamraper-yellow-like-snow
May 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm
yours are awesome though. I know this cause there is one hanging in my house
May 15, 2012 at 11:15 am
If the CDs are not Regretsy, I may have to spend a whole week in bed, eating ice cream and gently rocking back and forth.
May 15, 2012 at 9:35 am
Pipe cleaner pump is Regretsy – (nice huge fake timestamp to throw me off)
Nails – obviously Etsy, look at the white faded barnwood.
Tide – Etsy, because the word art at the bottom would take too fucking long.
CD – Regretsy.
Clothespins – Etsy
May 15, 2012 at 9:35 am
Oh and Roseanne = regretsy.
May 15, 2012 at 9:35 am
#3 looks like potential swag. I’m on the fence. Can we dow these with Kale Girl?
#5 looks fake, in one artsy swoop!
May 15, 2012 at 9:35 am
I think Bronc decoupaged the laundry soap bottle. He just had to.
May 15, 2012 at 9:40 am
I think the clothespins are etsy. Only a fluffy cupcake lover would take the time to stain clothespins.
May 15, 2012 at 10:37 am
I love clothespins. My first thought was, the stain would get all over my stuff.
May 15, 2012 at 12:54 pm
If they were functional clothes pins, they wouldn’t be creamy enough for Etsy!
May 15, 2012 at 9:36 am
Ok, I think the shoe would have taken way more effort than April would have wanted to put into it. The screws are probably real. The marijuana bottle i think it regretsy. I think the CDs are etsy because I doubt April has a table that ugly in her house. I’m on the fence about the Roseanne earrings, but leaning towards regretsy.
May 15, 2012 at 2:20 pm
My thoughts exactly.
May 15, 2012 at 9:36 am
Cindarella shoe: Etsy
Rusty nails: Etsy
Roseanne earrings: Regretsy
High Tide bottle: Regretsty
CDs: please god Regretsy
Pegs: Etsy
May 15, 2012 at 9:36 am
Etsy, Regretsy, Etsy, Etsy, Regretsy, Regretsy
I’m going to assume that the ones that used the least effort were Regretsy. I have a feeling I’m utterly wrong, and I’m going to have to set someone on fire.
May 15, 2012 at 9:37 am
I think they are all real except the CDs…that looks like an ebay picture. You can sell crap on etsy but it has to have a halfway decent photo, right??
May 15, 2012 at 9:39 am
If you look really closely at the CD’s, you can see a reflection of your gullibility. And I think they are fake…
May 15, 2012 at 9:39 am
We have a problem with a mockingbird keeping us up all night in the tree out front. If I hung CDs in my trees my husband would have me committed.
May 15, 2012 at 2:33 pm
I give up.
Each and every item has several reasons why it’s absolutely Etsy–but each of those reasons could just as plausibly be something Bronc and HK snuck in there on purpose to throw us off. My poor, damaged little mind has been chasing these things back and forth for about an hour, and I just give up.
Well played, indeed.
May 15, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Okay, I did NOT post this as a reply. It was just supposed to be on its own. I swear. I’m not THAT brain-damaged…I hope.
May 15, 2012 at 9:40 am
Shoe = Etsy
Nails = Etsy
Earrings = Etsy (or they will be by sundown)
Tide bottle = Regretsy (please dear god, let it be.)
CDs = Regretsy
Clothespins = Etsy
May 15, 2012 at 2:27 pm
I was thinking the same. But now I’m worrying that the CDs are Etsy, because they’re on a shiny tabletop instead of barnwood.
May 15, 2012 at 9:42 am
Dear God, the Rosanne earrings MUST be Etsy simply because I need to own them.
May 15, 2012 at 9:42 am
I have no idea about the rest but the shoe and Tide bottle are most definitely regretsy. There is no irony like that of the tide bottle in real life. Kill your plants and poison your milk with detergent residue while making a statement that it’s cool to be a stoner or something. Future generations will dig up that tide bottle and put it in a museum as a religious artifact that was ceremoniously left on an altar (dumpster) and worshipped (looked at in disgust by the homeless)
May 15, 2012 at 9:43 am
I am no longer able to tell reality from fiction.
May 15, 2012 at 9:43 am
1. Etsy – reeks of desperation…just surprised there aren’t more stray cat hairs on the towel
2. Regretsy – properly spelled “assemblage” and Etsy seller would’ve tried to bump up the perceived value of the listing by including the mason jar
3. I hope these are Etsy because I want them in a sick manifestation of nostalgia. I think they are Regretsy because erstwhile Etsy sellers are too young to get the Rosanne reference.
4. Etsy – Regretsy has better things to do than create lovey dovey ASCII art
5. I don’t care…it’s such a sad attempt at the barn wood effect that I need to go give someone a hug
6. Etsy – and I bet by “Baker’s Dozen” the poor sap only included 11 clothespins.
May 16, 2012 at 11:05 am
You didn’t score very well did you? But your comments made up for it. And I bet you’re right about the baker’s dozen too!
May 15, 2012 at 9:43 am
Despite my desire for the CDs to be Regretsy, I fear they are Etsy. It seems fitting someone on Etsy would think scarecrows would keep bugs away…
May 15, 2012 at 9:44 am
Pipe cleaner shoe HAS to be Etsy. I just don’t see April and Bronc taking that much time off between vodka and Cheezwhiz just to fuck with us.
Dan and Roseanne also have to be legit. Too awesome not to have a real seller.
The clothespins and tin bucket also ooze creamy goodness. The only thing is, the price should be $12 on Etsy for $2 clothespins and a $1 tub.
Everything else… Regretsy.
May 15, 2012 at 9:44 am
CDs have to be Regretsy, right? (“Reflect and Deflect in One Artsy Swoop!”)
Favorite new quote: “You don’t get the jar!”
May 15, 2012 at 10:26 am
I thought the same thing about the artsy swoop!
May 15, 2012 at 10:59 am
You wouldn’t want it anyway. You don’t know where it’s been (wishing I hadn’t seen the video of the jar squatting dude).
May 15, 2012 at 11:37 am
On my list of things I can never unsee… I almost spontaneously vomited, but I still watched. I am ashamed.
May 15, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Don’t remind me of that video. I’m not squeamish, but holy shit that image accompanied with the crunching sounds… THE SOUNDS HAUNT MY DREAMS **gag**
May 15, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Okay, I’ve learned by now never to google things I see here. But god, am I curious.
May 15, 2012 at 2:51 pm
DONT DO IT! DONT GOOGLE ONE MAN ONE CUP!! Did I mention I am ashamed AND evil??
I’m not squeamish either MissNorris, but yeah. That was horrible.
May 15, 2012 at 9:44 am
Cinderella shoe – Etsy
Hardware – Etsy (The barnwood would be too obvious.)
Roseanne – Regretsy (I still think of the Carrie Fisher story.)
Bottle – Etsy
CDs – Regretsy (I hope!)
Clothespins – Etsy
May 15, 2012 at 9:44 am
I always guess these 100% incorrectly. But really, the wronger I am, the more funny it is.
May 15, 2012 at 9:45 am
This is getting very tricky
Cinderella Shoe: Regretsy, it’s a little too amateurish and the date stamp looks fake
Rusty Hardware: I’m going to say Etsy, but I feel like we’ve seen this one before?
Roseanne & Dan Earrings: Etsy, I actually really like these.
Marijuana “Statement Piece”: Regretsyn if there is any sanity left in the world.
Reflectors CDs: Regretsy, I should hope no one would actually sell these like this, they are too poorly styled.
Clothespins in Tub: I’m calling this Regretsy – a perfect storm of fake Etsy, it’s just a little too good
May 15, 2012 at 10:06 am
Agreed, especially on the clothespins. No way would you get the pins AND the tub for $4.
…though I am unsure about the reflectors, sadly.
May 15, 2012 at 9:46 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 15, 2012 at 2:27 pm
NO SPOILERS
May 15, 2012 at 3:20 pm
MissNorris90, you really can’t blame 6eisha. It’s all April’s fault, really. She makes the header copy so tl;dr and complicated. Who among us could be expected to understand:
Make your best guesses in the comments, but don’t cheat (if you do cheat, don’t post spoilers).
It’s really asking too much os us.
May 16, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I have written this long and elaborate answer concerning your style and your sense of humour.
And there’s some java or something error all day long and can’t post it. Wateva.
May 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm
Sigh. Good humor is dying but at least I got some dozen views.
May 15, 2012 at 9:47 am
Regretsy or not I’m about to Conner the market on those Rosanne earrings. Bwahahaha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha (quick hit of decoupage snort snort) hahahahahaha!
May 15, 2012 at 9:49 am
Oh fuck it, they’re all Regretsy. I’m too burned from the last bit of flounce drama to even try to guess right now.
May 15, 2012 at 9:50 am
I have to say, I love that “statement piece.” The statement seems to be, “DUH.”
May 15, 2012 at 9:50 am
The cds are Etsy because $3 is way overvalued.
May 15, 2012 at 11:22 am
I wonder if maybe they aren’t meant to be sold and that’s just a random price… maybe it’s just some well intentioned person trying to get the word out about a good tip. I just learned the cd method to repel pigeons and I wish someone had told me sooner. Plus nobody could try to sell cds when you can buy the blank ones for pennies… please let that be true anyway.
May 15, 2012 at 9:51 am
Earrings – I hope they are Etsy…I need to convo the seller into making me a pair with Helen and Bronc so I can be the ultimate Regretsy fangirl!
May 15, 2012 at 9:53 am
Shoe: Etsy
Nuts: Etsy
Dan/Roseanne: Etsy
Pot Bottle: Regretsy
CDs: Regretsy
Tub: Etsy
May 15, 2012 at 9:53 am
I say the shoe is Regretsy, everything else Etsy (though I’m thrown off by the clothespins I want to say they are Regretsy but the bakers dozen worth is making me think it’s Etsy)
May 15, 2012 at 9:53 am
I’m hoping the shoe is Etsy because in my mind HK is having way too much fun to sit around weaving pipe cleaners together. Same with the “statement piece”.
May 15, 2012 at 9:56 am
That shoe is ugly enough to be on Etsy.
The Collection of Metal has to be Regretsy- I mean, there’s barnwood & they aren’t willing to ship the jar.
Rosanne earrings- Etsy. April is too lazy to make those.
High Tide- Regretsy. You give it away with the ~LOVE~ thing at the bottom. That alone isn’t fluffy enough for the etsycakes.
CD’s are stupid enough to be on etsy.
Clothespins – Can’t decide between etsy or regretsy. I’ll say regretsy- $4 is cheap. That would be like $25 on etsy.
May 15, 2012 at 9:56 am
The CDs have to be regretsy, who else would talk about the fun the kids would have when you and your husband decided to hang them, together?
May 15, 2012 at 10:01 am
crap, gratuitous comma use. My apologies to everyone.
May 15, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Your’e Welcome! We shall Govern ourselves accordingly.
May 15, 2012 at 9:57 am
I think they’re all Etsy. I’m doomed.
May 15, 2012 at 10:44 am
Really? My first thought was “all Regretsy”. I don’t know what that says about me.
May 15, 2012 at 2:00 pm
It says your new here, and PBCGE is old (here)
May 15, 2012 at 9:58 am
“Please note: you don’t get the jar”
Probably Regretsy, fucking brilliant either way.
May 15, 2012 at 9:58 am
The High Tide bottle HAS to be Regretsy, because not even an Etsy cupcake would seriously suggest that you use a recycled detergent jug to hold milk.
May 15, 2012 at 11:41 am
Clearly you have never been to Pinterest.
May 15, 2012 at 12:48 pm
If anything, an etsy cupcake would probably suggest using a detergent bottle for buying in bulk at the co-op.
mmm soapy rice
May 15, 2012 at 9:59 am
I think the pump is Etsy, because I don’t think Helen would take the time to make it.
I think the jar of bolts and screws is Regretsy because it’s just a bit too cupcakey.
The Roseanne earrings are Etsy. I don’t think Helen would do such an injustice to Roseanne.
The detergent bottle is Etsy because… well see my first comment.
The clothes pins and CDs are probably Etsy because they’re just too ridiculous.
May 15, 2012 at 9:59 am
1. The Ballroom Pump you can use to ream out your old pipes! Such Multi-tasking I could only imagine would be Etsy.
2. That’s gotta be from your private stash of Old Barnwood! Regretsy.
3. The Shrinky Dink earrings must have been how you were paid for the episodes you wrote! Regretsy.
4. That’s Okra, Dood. Regretsy.
5. Old Gino Vanelli CDs are not what I would consider Eco Friendly. Etsy, none the less.
6. Clothes pins in a Tub? So DAMN cute it has to be from the Muffintops of Cupcakeville. Etsy.
May 15, 2012 at 10:00 am
im going to guess the first three are etsy…though the pipe cleaner shoe is almost janky enough to be a regretsy creation, the towel photo backdrop could only come from a cupcake. Im guessing the last 3 are regretsy…though the clothespins are in such a lovely bucket it might just be etsy!
May 15, 2012 at 10:01 am
I just can’t tell any more. I have been officially broken.
May 15, 2012 at 10:01 am
R
E
R
E
E
E
May 15, 2012 at 10:13 am
F
E
R
……oh… that isn’t what you meant?
May 15, 2012 at 10:02 am
Am I the only one concerned at Helen & Bronc’s uncanny abilities to think like true crap Etsy artistes? I feel like an intervention might be warranted.
May 15, 2012 at 10:03 am
The Cinderella shoe is Etsy; I can’t imagine Helen or Bronc doing such intricate pipe-cleaner work.
The nuts and bolts….I’m thinking etsy.
I don’t care who made the Roseanne earrings as long as they are available for me to purchase.
I think the statement piece is Regretsy, because an actual stoner would never be able to come up with the title “High Tide.”
The CDs I’m on the fence over, but I’m going with Regretsy solely from the phrase “Reflect and Deflect in One Artsy Swoop!”
And the clothespins are Etsy because they just are.
May 15, 2012 at 10:05 am
I don’t want to play that game anymore. You people always fuck me up. (*rubbing her sore butt*)
May 15, 2012 at 10:06 am
I hope the shoe is Etsy. Or wait, I hope it isn’t? I just don’t know any more!
I can say that honestly, my favorite part of that listing is the bath/dish towel as backdrop.
But man.. 50 bucks?! And the giant ugly timestamp?!
I’m so torn.
May 15, 2012 at 10:06 am
If the pipe cleaner shoe is Regretsy, I think you need to retire from craft-mocking for your own health. Close pins should be etsy because “galvanized tub” is totally the new barnwood. Roseanne earrings are real because I just don’t think you sort through 20 year old TV guides and think “gee, this would make a stupid fucking craft for Regretsy!” wait, maybe you do. All others, Regretsy. Well maybe not the jar of rusty screws, because that one is just a trick question – whether THIS PARTICULAR listing is fake is totally irrelevant.
May 15, 2012 at 10:07 am
Shoe= Regretsy
Bolts=Etsy
Eerrings=Dear God let these be real, Etsy
Tide bottle=Regretsy. A true craftard would have covered the cap, too
Pest deflectors=Regretsy. Please put these in your header to repell trolls.
Clothespins=Etsy
May 15, 2012 at 10:11 am
The bucket of clothespins looks like someone meant to post it in “etsy or anthropologie” so….etsy.
May 15, 2012 at 10:11 am
Shoe: Esty
Nails & Screws: Regresty
Rosanne & Dan: Etsy
High Tide: Etsy
CDs: Regretsy
Clothespins: Etsy
May 15, 2012 at 10:16 am
The pipe cleaner shoe has to be Regretsy. If that were on Etsy the (fake) date stamp would have been stuck on Jan-01-2001
May 15, 2012 at 10:18 am
I dunno – maybe the CDs are Regretsy bait? They’re almost too perfect.
May 15, 2012 at 10:22 am
I’m stumped. I want to say the CDs are Regretsy, but I can’t picture that table being anywhere near April’s house, let alone in it.
May 15, 2012 at 10:23 am
Posing the clothespins and bucket at various attractive angles is genius if it’s satire.
May 15, 2012 at 10:24 am
High Tide – I’m hoping this is regretsy, because if an etsy seller suggested putting MILK in a detergent bottle *ugh* and the CD’s are way too cheap to be etsy…
All the rest are etsy!
May 15, 2012 at 10:25 am
The CDs are definitely Regretsy. The phrase “Reflect and Deflect in one artsy swoop” has way too much self-awareness. And it isn’t twee enough to be hipster irony. So I’m going with Regretsy.
May 15, 2012 at 10:26 am
1. Has to be Etsy. There’s no way anyone who isn’t a little craft-d up in the head could bring themselves to make a rainbow pipe cleaner shoe.
2. Regresty. you don’t even get the jar, guys.
3. Definitely Etsy. Too fabulous to not be real.
4. Etsy. Not ironic enough for Helen.
5. Regretsy. Tries way too hard for the Barnwood Effect.
6. Etsy. Look at the perfect photography! I’m sure that was even listed on the front page for no good effing reason excpet that the color may have matched whatever they chicken pecked out that day.
May 15, 2012 at 10:26 am
1- Real. No way April spent the time to make that.
2- Real.
3. I HOPE these are real because that is just hilarious.
4. FAKE. I hope April had fun with the mod podge.
5. Real. I was torn because this is very low effort but it’s also only three dollars, which smacks of real. If it was fake it’d have a higher price.
6. Fake but you can probably find something similar on Etsy anyway.
May 15, 2012 at 10:26 am
“Cinderella” shoes- Regretsy, solely because I have never seen a date stamp like that.
Rusty bolts- Etsy because you don’t get the jar.
Roseanne earrings- Regretsy because I bet Roseanne is HK’s favorite show to watch when she’s drunk.
Weed bottle- Etsy because decoupage is spelled wrong.
CDs- Etsy because no sane person, even jokingly, could say that your kids will have fun hanging up old shitty CDs in the garden with you
Clothespins- Regretsy because the galvanized tub is included.
May 15, 2012 at 10:27 am
Shoes- fake (time stamp is fake)
Nuts and screws – tempted to believe real since they had screws before which if I remember correctly were a fake (would they pull that one twice, mmm maybe- it’s a toss up)
I am tempted to believe the CDs are fake.
The rest real
May 15, 2012 at 10:27 am
The High Tide bottle has to be Regretsy, because “High Tide” is too funny for your casual Etsy seller to think of. And the clothespins have to be Regretsy too, because they’re too cheap to be Etsy. If they were Etsy they’d be at least $12.
May 15, 2012 at 10:27 am
This shouldn’t be this goddamned hard.
May 15, 2012 at 10:29 am
From everything I have seen on here so far, my guess would be:
Pump: Etsy
Nails: Etsy
Earrings: Regretsy
Tide Bottle: Etsy
CDs: Etsy
Pegs: Regretsy
May 15, 2012 at 10:29 am
Here goes!
1. Etsy – Just too ugly to be fake
2. Regretsy – “Jar not included,” too silly to be real
3. Etsy – If these aren’t real, you’ll make a fortune
4. Regretsy – Someone that enamored with weed would be too high to think of “High Tide”
5. Etsy – I hope this is fake, but this is why Regretsy was created amirite?
6. Etsy – Classic Etsy, but maybe too classic…
May 15, 2012 at 10:32 am
iall I know is if those CD’s are real etsy Im going to vomit!!!
May 15, 2012 at 10:35 am
OMG.
Regretsy: tide, pins
Etsy: shoe, rust, rosie & dan, CDs
May 15, 2012 at 10:40 am
Dangit. I’ve changed my mind now, but I won’t change my answers.
May 15, 2012 at 10:41 am
The shoe looks like Regretsy; Nothing that cupcakey has such a half-assed background.
More nails and bolts? It’s messing with my head! I think I’ll say Regretsy, only for the jar being mentioned as not included.
The earrings have to be Etsy, Helen and Bronc are still recovering from Petjapalooza to make such shittastic stuff. Unless it’s a FJL conspiracy and they were made by an NYC attender!
I honestly decide with the jug.
The CDs: Regretsy or so help me I need a stiff drink.
Clothespins are so Etsy. Just look, they mentioned “Baker’s Dozen”.
May 15, 2012 at 10:43 am
Honestly can’t* – Derp 1!
to be able to make* – Derp 2!
Ateendee – Derp 3!
I scored a Turkey!
May 15, 2012 at 10:43 am
GODDAMMIT.
May 15, 2012 at 10:45 am
I hope the reflectors arent real, because that means that oh so many AOL cds that I threw away in my past have gone to complete waste.
May 15, 2012 at 10:45 am
*that WOULD mean. Tense!
May 15, 2012 at 10:49 am
Also protip: my boyfriend was telling me that his dad uses CDs to protect new shoots from bulb flowers. He aligns them so the shoot is coming up through the middle, and the span of the CD keeps squirrels from digging up the bulbs to eat.
Would probably also work for carrots.
May 15, 2012 at 11:03 am
Thank You for that tip. The fucking squirrels keep eating my Gladiolus bulbs. AND now Im picturing the little bastards running around with CDs stuck around their necks!
May 15, 2012 at 12:44 pm
CDs/foil also apparently works for averting birds from eating the seeds you’ve planted. I’ve never heard of it being used for insects, as I’d imagine many would be less visual in looking for food. I mean, what’s a CD going to do to a snail? make him slip off?
May 15, 2012 at 10:46 am
1) Helen had fun making that. Regretsy.
2) No hidden snark. etsy.
3) I’m sure Helen’s already bought this. etsy.
4) ANSI art? etsy.
5) Too stupid to be fathomed. Regretsy. (I hope)
6) Anyone could do this banal shit, so… etsy.
May 15, 2012 at 10:47 am
This is an impossible round. I can no longer tell the difference between true insanity and the mockery of it. I’ve spent far too much time on this site.
May 15, 2012 at 10:50 am
Ooh, my first chance to play! (I always get here too late.)
1. Cinderella pump – Etsy (Only on Etsy would someone pay 50 bucks for ONE fake shoe, no matter how decorative.)
2. Metal collection – Regretsy (*crosses fingers)
3. Roseanne and Dan earrings – Etsy? (I have seen so many others like this.)
4. High Tide – Regretsy. (Unless someone really is that high.)
5. Cds (!) PleasebeRegretsy, pleasebeRegretsy. Not remotely handmade. (Oh, wait.)
6. Clothespins – Etsy. (99% sure. I mean, c’mon; they have a bow!)
I didn’t read any comments yet; this is pure speculation.
May 15, 2012 at 10:50 am
1. Regretsy
2. If it’s Etsy I have a gold mine out in the barns.
3. Etsy? I think I read those two are doing a show in a trailer park
4. Regretsy
5. Regretsy
6. I think I’ve actually seen these on the front page…
May 15, 2012 at 10:52 am
The Cinderella shoe has to be Etsy. As awful as it is, it looks like it took way more time and dedication than April would be willing to put forth for something that ridiculous.
May 15, 2012 at 10:54 am
Shoe = regretsy
Screws = etsy
Roseanne = etsy
Tide = regretsy
Cds = regretsy
Clothespins = etsy
I was torn on the Tide bottle but then I remembered dirty hippies make their own all natural/organic/whatever the fuck detergent so wouldn’t have a Tide bottle on hand to craft with (and would be much to busy smoking weed to go find a bottle).
But I could be wrong.
May 15, 2012 at 12:42 pm
I was thinking the same about the Tide bottle. That and I see pot smokers using something like a tub of cookies than empty detergent, because that would mean doing laundry…
Now if it were a decoupaged bag of soapnuts, THEN that’s some etsy.
May 15, 2012 at 10:55 am
1. Real. No way HK rushed back to LA to spend hangover filled hours on that after drinking the weekend away in NYC with Petja and all you FJLs.
2. Real. If HK had such excellent barnwood around, she would’ve used it to trick us long ago. Unless it’s a pic from the Internet… Hmmm… I’m still going with real.
3. Real. That seems like a complex process, which while I am sure HK is capable of doing, I doubt she’d go to that amount of trouble for this.
4. Real. Even HK’s mind isn’t warped enough to come up with that. Also, I don’t think she has a subscription to a pot magazine.
5. Fake. Because one has to be fake, right? Also, the words “artsy swoop” are perfect. Too perfect.
6. Real. The picture is just so perfect and Etsylike. Also, no one but a true crafter would know where to get a tin that small.
May 15, 2012 at 11:09 am
I cheated because I couldn’t take it. Now I have a concussion from banging my head on my desk.
May 15, 2012 at 11:14 am
The shoe had better be etsy. I cannot picture April having the patience for those pokey mo fo’s.
May 15, 2012 at 11:15 am
dangit!
the cd’s are fake, cause that ain’t barn wood!
May 15, 2012 at 11:17 am
If Cinderella’s fairy godmother offered her that shoe, she would have drowned herself in her own bucket of mop water.
May 15, 2012 at 11:19 am
1. Etsy, that’s the kind of weird crap that would sell there.
2. Regretsy. I don’t want to think of a world where people actually sell rusty nuts and bolts without even a jar to put them in.
3. Could go either way.
4. Regretsy. It’s too blatantly Etsy to be Etsy.
5. Regretsy. That table looks familiar.
6. Etsy, because some of the people on etsy are just that kind of dumb.
May 15, 2012 at 11:23 am
Although I could be mistaken, I think HK was a writer on Roseanne. I could see the earrings and the pipe cleaner shoe being Regretsy, but all of the rest are probably, unfortunately, Etsy.
May 15, 2012 at 11:27 am
I hope to the gods that the Tide bottle is fake…
May 15, 2012 at 11:34 am
Yay! This is the first time I’ve managed to get in on one of these soon enough!
1- etsy: The shitty photography, derpy backdrop and high price – HK usually has a better quality for her fakes!
2- etsy: sigh
3- Regretsy: Who else would want 2 Roseannes?
4- etsy: I was going to say Regretsy, but then I saw the “free gram” decoupaged on there; it has to really be from etsy, because it’s TOO Regretsy-worthy. Not good enough for a HK creation. I don’t think HK has “high Times” lying around – Thought Finnish hooch was her drug of choice…
5- Regretsy: “reflect and deflect in one artsy swoop!” Really?
6- Regretsy: It’s TOO perfect and priced way too low… Looks like Regretsy bait to me.
May 15, 2012 at 11:39 am
I love that there are several shots of the pile of nuts and bolts. As if you need more detail on the fact that it’s a pile of nuts and bolts. I don’t know whether that means it’s real or fake, I just love it.
May 15, 2012 at 11:40 am
1. I want the Cinderella shoe to be Etsy. It makes me very happy to think that someone would come up with this on their own, although I guess that’s true either way. I want this to be someone’s labor of love, although the sad truth is that they probably stole the idea from their 10-year-old daughter’s slumber party craft project.
2. Regretsy. “I’ve priced this lower for my own reasons.” April knows how much mileage this crowd can get out of speculating on the reasons, so she’s giving us something to keep us occupied, bless her little heart.
3. Etsy.
4. Bottle is Regretsy. Mentioning Culture magazine is one of those special little touches that April is so good at.
5. CD’s are Etsy because someone is really that stupid as to think that someone else is even more stupid and will buy them vs. just using their own.
6. Clothespins had better be Regretsy because they irritate me just looking at them with their twee twine bow and tub.
May 15, 2012 at 11:46 am
1. There is no way Helen made this shoe. Etsy.
2. Regretsy. “You don’t get the jar” made me giggle. How is it a jar of stuff if there is no jar? Okay, hopefully Regretsy.
3. Etsy, and once the link is up I am going to buy them.
4. Regretsy. Looks like something that was posted a few weeks ago but with the ridiculousness turned to 11.
5. I want this to be Regretsy so badly but the sheer awfulness is leaning me towards Etsy. Please be fake please be fake please be fake
6. Etsy. Oh my God, so Etsy. This is the Etsiest thing I have ever seen and that makes me more than a little bit upset.
May 15, 2012 at 11:49 am
1. Looks like it actually took some kind of talent to make, regardless if it looks like a Chiquita Banana hat. Surely this has to be Regretsy.
2. A collection of stuff people should have thrown out displayed in a haphazard way… must be Etsy.
3. Rosanne earrings… only the aerosol snuffers at Etsy would make something like that.
4. Up-cycled and marijuana, most definitely a Regretsy item.
5. It has to be Etsy… it’s got all of the characteristics of someone who had repeatedly slammed their head in a door.
6. Another case of “Here, you throw these out”, except you have to pay to do so. Must be Etsy.
May 15, 2012 at 11:49 am
1. Regretsy, if only because of the weird date stamp.
2. This one’s hard. I’m going to go with Etsy because the jar isn’t included.
3. These are Regretsy because they’re not $30.
4. Etsy. Too difficult to do while drunk.
5. Etsy. Because Helen isn’t THAT lazy.
6. Regretsy, if only because it’s way too fucking Etsy to be real.
May 15, 2012 at 11:57 am
CDs are Etsy because I really do hang junk discs up at my place and people ask “WHAT are those FOR???” [ to entertain me with that question, smirk ] which means that there are people out there who are incapable of doing it themselves and WANT THEM. No, wait. They’re on plastic barnwood… sneaky. They’re Regretsy.
May 15, 2012 at 11:59 am
I’m going to go with the earrings.
That being said, I would totally wear them. Only because they’d make my face look really thin.
May 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm
I love this game, but I always miss out on guessing. Not this time!
Shoe: Etsy. I agree with a bunch of comments above that this looks like too much effort for Helen and Bronc. If it’s fake, then I’m suitably impressed by their commitment to fuckery.
Rusty metal junk: Etsy. “I’ve priced these lower for my own reasons” is so weirdly ambiguous it must be real.
Earrings: Regretsy. There’s always one that’s too good to be true.
High Tide: Regretsy? This one is hard. They didn’t bother to cover the cap, which makes me think it’s real. On the other hand, that green square looks like a coupon for free pot. Would a stoner decoupage something like that?
CDs: Regretsy. Three for three bucks is too cheap for Etsy.
Clothespins: Etsy. I mean, look at it. If you added a cutesy story and upped the price, it would be front page material.
May 15, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Do you think a Sara Gilbert head is available for a labial piercing? Just asking for a friend.
May 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm
The only thing I care about is the “High Tide”. I want that, & hope it comes full of “something”!
May 15, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Etsy – because the story behind the shoe sounds like something a Twi-tard would write and you know that Etsy is rife with those.
Regretsy – because a cupcake would have used the second picture as their first picture.
Etsy – because I refuse to believe those earrings weren’t created with sincere intent.
Regretsy – because you know April has a stockpile of “High Times” magazines for this. Culture magazine was mentioned to throw us off.
Regretsy – because my last shred of respect for humanity will go out the window with those CDs.
Regretsy – … no wait… Etsy? ARRRGGH. That last one makes my head explode.
May 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm
All Etsy!
Helen and Bronc have been too busy entertaining us in NYC to craft, and it looks like a lot of time and effort went into all of these!
May 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm
I will give it a try
Cinderella Shoe: Regretsy
Jarless Nuts: Etsy
Dan/Roseanne earrings: Etsy
Pot Bottle: Regretsy
CDs: Etsy
Bakers Dozen: Etsy
May 15, 2012 at 12:29 pm
“Cinderella” pipe cleaner shoe = Etsy. There’s no way Helen spent that much time using fricking pipe cleaners to make a butt-ugly shoe and the horrible towel backdrop has the je ne sais quois of Etsy authenticity.
Nails = Etsy. Though I have the smallest doubt because it’s so classic.
Earrings = Etsy. Because.
Tide bottle = Regretsy. So much tasty irony and navel-gazing sincerity plus could be put together reasonably quickly by Helen or one of her minions.
CDs = Regretsy.
Clothespins = Etsy. Only a total loser would stain clothespins “for an aged look”.
May 15, 2012 at 12:35 pm
If the High Tide is real that’s enough reason to keep marijuana illegal forever.
May 15, 2012 at 12:37 pm
I want this to all be real.
Shoe: Etsy. At first I was terrified because I thought it was being marketed as an actual shoe, and had thoughts of someone trying to explain multiple punctures and tetanus from pipe cleaners. But a useless piece of crap for your wimbsicle desk? Totes Etsy.
Nuts n bolts: Regretsy. While this type of thing shows up on Etsy a lot, the whole “You do not get the jar” is a great dick move, and of course a real seller would be more dickish and never disclose that.
Roseanne & Dan: Regretsy, only because I want the “FAKE” picture to be Helen wearing these. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Or maybe Bronc?? Yes?
Marijuana bottle: Regretsy, because it seems in line with fake Regretsy items from before.
CDs: Etsy, for the shitty gardening advice of insect reflectors and charging more for used CDs than blank, useful ones.
Clothespins: Etsy, because “baker’s dozen” is something they’d use to market something non-edible, ’cause that totally makes sense.
May 15, 2012 at 12:39 pm
These are all bad enough to be Etsy, but I’m going to guess that the High Tide and CDs are fake.
May 15, 2012 at 12:43 pm
If the shoe was Etsy it would have been made with tampon strings.
May 15, 2012 at 12:47 pm
If the nuts and bolts aren’t regretsy, I’m moving to the moon.
Damn it, I will find a way.
May 15, 2012 at 12:50 pm
I’m gonna go ahead and say HK is screwing with us and these are all Etsy.
Though I do kinda like the earrings.
May 15, 2012 at 12:51 pm
The weed bottle has to be Regretsy. The description is too coherent to have been written by a stoner, unless it was written by a medical marijuana sympathizer.
May 15, 2012 at 12:54 pm
I am usually wrong about nearly ALL of them, so I hold no hope that I’ll be right this time, either. That being said, I really hope that stupid shoe and the weed bottle are both Etsy because I’d hate to think that April and Bronc spent that much time creating fake crafts just for our entertainment — especially when we still haven’t gotten a report or photos from Petjapalooza! Hint hint.
May 15, 2012 at 12:56 pm
When are they going to tell us already! The suspense is killing me! haaaaa
May 15, 2012 at 1:02 pm
I can genuinely see all of them being etsy :/
Though the husband shaped thing sitting next to me reckons the CDs are fake.
May 15, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Cinderella shoe is regretsy: that timestamp font is off
I think the CDs are also Regrtsy. Everything else is real.
Those Roseanne and Dan earrings are magnificent.
May 15, 2012 at 1:29 pm
No.1 is Etsy because it’s a time honoured tradition for them to pretend to know anything about fashion.
No.2 “If it’s Rusty, it’s for Etsy”
No.3 They are cut out far too well for Etsy, and Aril I’ll give you $10 for them.
No.4 The annoying copied and pasted “art” at the bottom says it all. So very Etsy.
No.5 I’m just hoping no one on Etsy is that stupid.
No.6 I’m almost entirely sure that those clothespins have been featured on the front page.
May 15, 2012 at 1:37 pm
1. Cinderella: etsy (why not?)
2. Rust: regretsy (I mean, come ON)
3. Earrings: etsy (I don’t see why not)
4. Detergent: regretsy (should I really give a reason for this wish of mine?)
5. Reflectors: regretsy (for humankind’s sake and for the sweet love of Jesus)
6. Clothespins: etsy (I even bet you this was first page)
May 15, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Well, I cheated on one of the items.
My BRAIN! It’s melting!! Oh friends, get ready; from the depths of the abyss I returned to warn you in my eternal torment: don’t click on the answers when that raven-haired witch posts them, don’t…
May 15, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Okay, here we go:
Fashion pump: Etsy. That many CAPS LOCK words has to be only found on Etsy.
Nails/bolts/screws: Regretsy. Too easy.
Earrings: Etsy. I’m actually tempted to buy…*ahem*
High tide: This particular use of the word “upcycled” tipped me off.
CDs: Regretsy. It would be way too easy for Helen to just flip some CDs over and take a photo. Also–same strategy for the word “upcycled”, just a different tip-off.
Clothespins: Etsy. It’s so “woodsy” and “nestled-y”.
Which suddenly reminds me–MOOSEN.
May 15, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Derp.
*have* to be only found
May 15, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Wow, this is a tough one!
Ok, the cinderella shoe is probably Etsy (and sadly i think it’s kinda cute:)
The rusty bolts are absolutely cupcake fodder, Etsy
I desperately want the Dan and Roseanne earrings to be real soooo Etsy?
The marijuana detergent bottle is Etsy cuz you have to be smoking some serious shit to put that together and actually try to sell it!
The dvds smell like Regretsy to me
and the clothespins in a bin are just hipster enough to make me want to bang my head against the wall in frustration so Etsy
May 15, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Ok, here goes..
Shoe – Etsy.
Nuts/Bolts – Gotta be Etsy – “you don’t get the jar” is just too perfectly rude.
Earrings – Sadly enough, I have to say Regretsy.
High Tide – Etsy, all the way
CDs – So awesomely Regretsy
Clothespins – Tough, but gonna say Etsy.
May 15, 2012 at 2:16 pm
1. I NEED THIS TO BE REAL
2. Think this one’s Etsy too
3. Regretsy
4. Regretsy as well
5. This is so stupid it almost has to be Etsy
6. Regretsy
May 15, 2012 at 2:35 pm
This time, I say everything is real except the upcycled CDs. I am a bit dubious about the earrings and the High Tide, but I can see both of those being absolutely real.
I have no idea why people think the clothspins are fake. They are so very very Etsy, and the photography is so creamy.
May 15, 2012 at 2:42 pm
I’m gonna say the High Tide and the CD’s are Regretsy and everything else is Etsy.
………I already feel like I’m wrong.
May 15, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Shoe- etsy. It’s too fugly to be otherwise
metal junk – regretsy. It’s BARNWOOD
Roseanne and Dan earings- Etsy because THEY NEED TO BE REAL
detergent – etsy, because I swear a person I know in Hulmboldt has one of these.
CDs- regretsy. The description is too whimsical for this to be real.
clothespins – etsy. The staging of the picture looks like classic etsy ‘hide the worthlessness with apple white’ mentality
May 15, 2012 at 2:45 pm
The first one is totally etsy, I don’t think anyone else would take the time to do something like that.
The second one is hard to say… That last “You don’t get the jar” makes me hope it’s regretsy.
The third one is absurd enough to be etsy.
That fourth one is totally made by you, that last ascii art makes it too obvious…. Right?
Hmmm our object number 5 is hard to say, I really want it to be regretsy, but I fear it’s etsy.
The last one is etsy, it has etsy all written over it.
This is fun!
May 15, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Cinderella shoe regretsy cuz there is no glitter!
Nuts n Bolts regretsy cuz the title has improper SEO words, duh.
Roseanne n Dan regretsy cuz Roseanne is spelled correctly.
High Tide regretsy cuz once again marijuana is spelled correctly. Smokers don’t create such precision cut and paste jobs either. And they call it weed, pot, stash…
CD bird repellers Etsy cuz it’s handmade right?
Tub o Clothespins Regretsy cuz it’s too Etsy cutesy.
May 15, 2012 at 7:38 pm
I don’t know much about either Etsy or Regretsy, but I think April Winchell is very atlented and could do any / all of these things. pennyrn1