More Things That Look Like Penises:
- And Here
Okay the Pipe Reamer was a little scary.
Please don’t come anywhere near my pipe with that thing
Seriously, if anyone tries to clean out my plumbing with that thing they’re getting a boot to the head.
What’s even worse is that it took me a good 30 seconds to realize that it WASN’T a sex toy. I have been on the internet too long.
can’t say that it wouldn’t do a good job of reaming pipes though.
Dammit I wanted that pipe reamer, but it’s gone already.
It would be the perfect Father’s Day gift for Ron Jeremy.
it’s scratched and rusty too…YEEEEEE!
Pipe Reamer should be a self-writing joke, but then I took a look and it was just too horrifying.
I felt that the Step 2 image in this post http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/steps-to-help-you-evolve-your-views-on-gay-marriag looked like a penis, but I wasn’t sure if that would be ironic, or just my dirty mind.
Last one: are you sure you haven’t? Because I have.
DAMMIT! I was going to post this.
Great minds, yo.
Huge Stalagmite – that’s my new porn name!
Now you just need to hook up with Ima Stalactight.
I see what you did there
Ted Cassidy is about to get a HUGE surprise!
I watched that last night! It was my first thought too. I’ve decided I want to be Jim Kirk in my next life. Because you can do all kinds of awesome stuff, without too many consequences, and act like an idiot all you want.
Oh, FUCK you. I was going to post that; I added it to mu Photobucket special, an’ all.
Thumbs up, natch.
DAMMIT! PIPE REAMER LINK NO WORKY!
I was TOTALLY going to buy that for MigraineMan!
Okay, I’m pretty sure the heart and arrow one has to be on purpose. I mean, “The arrow never misses”? Come on.
I agree. The black dot at the bottom of the heart totally looks like an anus… which makes it a very wide vagina… so it’d be pretty hard to miss.
The arrow never misses, except when it does, and you get stabbed in the taint.
I beg to differ. I see a flatworm, not a penis, on the toggle, and the feather looks more like a tampon to me.
But I have to admit, I didn’t know octopi went in for piercings.
Try looking at the feather the other way around. It’s brown, the fluffy head, and the white “string”.
ruining innocence 24/7
I saw a tampon as well. I think it’s the string on the end that does it.
What kind of wierd-ass fuzzy brown tampons are y’all using!?
“The arrow never misses”
The crafter obviously didn’t have the misfortune of dating my ex-boyfriend.
So how badly did he injure the other guys in the archery tournament?
The octopus loves his coral!!! I just bet he does.
Also, I can’t believe that the turkey feather one was accidental. They’ve got to be in on it.
See, I’m less bothered by the fact that the first one looks like a penis than that it’s made using an octopus. Well, that and the fact that the turquoise kind of makes it look like it’s a penis with mold developing around penile studs.
I’m not a crafter so I’m clueless as to how he made it out of an octopus. And does that mean that there’s more of these things in the works with the other octo-parts? Why not just use the octo-peenie then?
I think the octopus is those metal tentacle-things at the top. I don’t believe any actual octopus parts are involved (I hope).
Well, great. Now I’m hungry for calamari.
I absolutely love octopusme, one of my longtime favourite etsy shops. But the coral is unfortunate, yeah. And the otters, Jesus, wtf? To make what must have been a pretty skilled piece of work (painting on a feather?!) and to make it look so exactly like a penis is just weird. But of all of them, the stalactite actually scares me. A penis made of a fossilized giant turd. Brrrrrr.
^_^ It’s one of my favorite shops too! I’m thrilled to see them featured here, unfortunate shaped coral or not. I’d love to have a set of earrings by that guy.
It took me a while to understand it, but I think they molded an octopus tentacle and then cast the metal from it. I don’t think there’s any mollusk flesh in the actual piece.
stuff like this is usually done with lost wax. a mold is made first of the item. then you cast the shape with wax. you get a wax form you can prefect, carve or shape a little as needed before you make another cast of the wax. the silver is then poured into the final mold and you get a solid silver shape of your item.
I feel bad for this guy since they go through all that hard work for something that looks so similar to the mass produced ‘bronze’ octopus tentacle pieces that are all over Etsy.
Yeah I was wondering about that, mainly because there’s good eating on an octopus (I live in the Mediterranean. It is our way).
Oh baby. I am going to make you scream within the throes of passion. Tonight, I am going to show my geometric ampersand.
Lines from hipster porn?
Hipster porn titles:
Tofu Delivery Boy
Ducklips – A self-exploration
I’m Huge In Portland
Those two otters are clearly playful. And the creator of the piece was obviously REALLY satisfied with the work given the that embroidery floss furbelow.
Hmmm…. I don’t want any of those things. I must not have penis envy.
So many penises…
1) The Apadrayva piercing brings this to a whole new weird area.
2) Ow. Ow. OW. OW. OW!
3) Ah, purple and brown: the colors of love.
4) I think the artist left out the letters C and B…
5) Somebody REALLY likes otters.
6) Several people already beat me to the Star Trek reference.
Wait, they painted on a turkey feather? That’s kinda cool.
Yeah, much props for painting on a feather but did they really not mean to make it look like a penis? The white at the end and everything?
I think the turkey feather painting is awesome, actually. They just need a different photo.
Same here, I was impressed. Feathers cannot be that easy to paint on, and that is actually rather pretty. It doesn’t hurt that otters are cute little buggers. The bunny-fur glans was an unnecessary touch, though.
Native inspired, grrr SNARL. What, because turkey feathers are native to the Americas? Or because you can buy postcards of otters at places that also sell plastic ‘indian maiden’ dolls?
Um, feathers are not all that difficult to paint on, just icky-picky time consuming. I know several artists who do them. But since most people don’t have access to the right feathers (which are not cheap) and don’t have the patience to paint them, they’re a very salable item. This one is overpriced: should be labeled buckskin, not ‘deer skin’, and wrapped with silk not regular embroidery floss, and LOSE THE RABBIT. Also, the feather tip has been nibbled by turkey hens, making it a grade B feather.
OMG OMG OMG. it’s a penis-shaped porcupine. perfect for reaming your pipes. is the seller in on it?? also, i’m confused… is that first one a dead octopus tentacle that he bronzed? i don’t understand how he’s insisting this is handmade.
I think the metal was cast from a mold of a tentacle.
That “lacquered red coral” looks like my Oscar Meyer Wiener Whistle, which means I have been blowing through a phallic symbol since I was 6 years old, or I’m just hungry. It’s off to the vending machine with me.
Am I the only one who thinks its gross to dip animal parts in metal and call them jewelry? I had a Seahorse once when I was a kid that was dipped in gold. since I was a KID, it got broken and eew, there was a dead seahorse in there. I think the same way about the octopus tenticles. But then, I am similarily grossed out by dried starfish on barrettes and such. The guts are still in there unlike leather and furs. Ok. Maybe I’m a hippocrite. even so…
it’s not animal parts dipped in metal. it’s solid cast silver. he just made a mold of it and then cast it in solid metal.
you can make molds of anything. I know a another jeweler that has a similar technique but he uses… twigs and rocks…
He casts the twigs so they are solid silver and then combines them with some really ordinary tumbled river rocks and stones like you’d pick out of someones drive way. It sounds ridiculous but he seems to sell at a lot of galleries
Geology nerd alert!
Okay, I really want to know where that stalagmite came from. Because there are some strict laws about what kinds of cave formations can and cannot be sold, and I’m always wary of such things.
According to the seller it is from Missouri and he’s had it since the 1980′s. Doesn’t say how he got it though which is concerning.
That was the first thing I thought of when I saw that one, too.
This was my first thought too- I live in NV and a couple of years ago people started stealing petroglyphs, ancient pottery pieces, and other such things to use as yard decor…
I kinda *like* the ampersand (not quite enough to own it), but then I get unduly fascinated by typography (I even follow a type design blog although I couldn’t design a font to save my life).
Sooooooo, not your type?
Warning: Arousing the huge stalagmite may result in unsightly stalactites stuck to your ceiling.
The stalagmite does give a whole new spin to getting your rocks off.
Oh, so that’s where steampunk octopus’s missing limbs went.
No, no. I’m okay. See? *holds up arms* All eight of my ten…ta…cles…..uhhhh….
Haha, I guess I should have specified. I was referring to the mass produced etsy “steampunk” octopus. It’s my first post on here. I’ve been lurking for quite a while so I was excited to see a regular poster like you reply to me.
A) I totally read “octopus tentacles” as “octopus testicles” at first, and was greatly confused.
B) If 18″ counts as a “huge” stalagmite, that’s precious.
Dick move, Crochet Guevara. Dick move indeed.
That coral reef pendant looks like it has a very christmassy Prince Albert piercing.
On a regretsy awfulness scale (which I made up just now), this actually doesn’t rank too high/low. I can’t believe I have begun ranking stupid shit, mostly as a mechanism for normalizing (ha!) comparisons, e.g. penises to beaverskins.
boring mediocre soiled lame penis/vag bad offensive burn-it flounce reseller butthurt
Maybe a little butthurt will bump it up a few notches. I do hope one of these sellers lets us know how they really feel.
Erm, isn’t it sort of illegal to remove coral from a reef? What with coral being highly endangered and all? :/
I talked to a whackadoo rock seller at a farmer’s market about this once! Well, I mean, the guy I was there with talked to the whackadoo rock seller about it while I stood back looking awkard. The whackadoo in question said that red coral had to have been harvested before such-and-such a time (yes, I am very specific and helpful here), and it was getting rare in the jewelry trade because it’s illegal to acquire more.
He also said stuff about healing and rocks and please, have a look at this old book about the healing properties of rocks, and just over here are some very healing rocks, if you’re interested in healing rocks.
Assuming it’s reclaimed vintage coral… what sort of idiot takes actual coral and lacquers it?
They can take a certain amount from most reefs legally. Of course I’m sure many disregard the laws, but it isn’t necessarily illegal in this case. It could also be captive grown (this is our family business and about as exciting as it sounds)… but I still don’t why anyone would go to any of this trouble and/or expense to then LACQUER IT.
Well, now we know why the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
Yay for the Discworld reference!
I’m sure someone in the BDSM community will want the pipe reamer…but not for that price….
I sure hope they are up to date on their tetanus shots then.
The Octopus needs to back off his Coral until it’s less inflamed.
I think my favorite part is the blue balls on the “ampersand.”
I read that last one as “man pillar”.
Hang on a tick? Did she say that she used a real octopus to cast that pendant? Poor little dude. I wonder if the smelting burnt off the other 6 tentacles (and body?
The first one gives a whole new meaning to “tentacle porn”.
It would make me SO happy if I could have a Terry Hedgehog Pipe Reamer necklace.
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