1. Position your dog between your knees and force the gown over her head.
2. The dog will immediately express her anal glands on the skirt and run under the couch.
3. Enjoy your $3,000 Swiffer.
I am so glad I have more sense than I do money. Not that I’d mind the money, of course.
Ok, I mentioned that my dog had a custom Halloween costume on the post about the mer-mouse, but I just need to clarify – it was only $30. This is insanity.
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beat to the Punch AGAIN DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!
This looks more like rogue taxidermy than it does a work of art.
Leans back trying to imagine a rogue taxidermist at it…
Hey, this is great, I’m going to need popcorn!
I vended next to a lady that does $1,000 dog beds last week and she told me that she sells at a shop that sells a $4,000 dog dress, and that they had sold 4 since December. My mind went STRAIGHT to toddlers in tiaras: doggie style.
Ah the money I save being allergic to dogs. What the hell do you need a $1000 dog bed for? That’s what we paid for the queen size mattresses on my bed. and WTF do you need a $4000 dog dress for?
I’m in the wrong crafting business, fuck candles and jewelry I’m gonna start making purse pooch paraphernalia
I paid $400 for my cat bed — I mean queen-size mattress. They let me sleep on it, too, as long as I don’t take up too much cat space.
I know the feeling. His Royal Highness Fluffy Bunny and Princess Feline Hellbeast allow us to live in their castle as long as we cater to their every need and pay all the bills.
My cat also deigns to let me sleep on her cat bed, but I’m apparently supposed to come to bed at the same time every night or she feels the need to come yell at me for being up late!
We have 2 cats and 1 will sleep right by your face and the other will sleep at the foot of the bed. They’re ok with us sleeping on the bed as long as we wake up when they wake us up to play. The youngest will bring her ball to your face, which is a jingly ball, and play bite your fingers until you wake up. She loves to play fetch. She also loves to scratch on the door so you can go to the litter box to see her do her business because she won’t go unless someone is watching her.
Can anyone give me advice on putting a flea collar on an otherwise loveable cat. There are two of us who have tried (one holding down, one installing) and haven’t been successful.
I’m currently spraying “cedarcide” on his brush then brushing him but the flea collar says lasts up to 7 months and brfushing could go back to being fun again.
@Stretch65 – try encasing cat in a blanket or towel, so only her head sticks out. Cat won’t like it, but all paw weapons are disabled, and teeth shouldn’t come into play. This is how we had to give our cat pills.
Downside – cat hates it.
Upside – cat ignores you for days!
Skip the collar and use Frontline. Squeeze a dose between the cat’s shoulders once a month and it not only kills fleas and ticks on the cat but eliminates them everywhere else the cat goes.
My cat loves to watch us flush her creations down the toilet. Seriously.
Flea collars only effectively work in the neck area. Skip the wasted money and go with a once a month dose that’ll work over the entire body.
Frontline is good, Adams is good too.
I concur with the others here, Stretch. Skip the flea collar, they don’t do much, and the bulk of the fleas don’t hang out around the animal’s neck anyway. Frontline Plus, last I was in the veterinary business, was the recommendation for flea preventatives, although that may have changed by now. Products change and evolve, and new ones come out all the time.
When the accessories cost more than the pet itself…
If you google dog crates or dog kennels on amazon, there are some that are over $1000. And I am not talking about some huge run thing… I’m talking about a small box with holes so that your precious pup doesn’t shit on the couch while you are out buying Funyuns.
My dog crate cost $40. I needed the money for Funyuns.
“Toddler in tiaras: doggie style”
OH UNCLE PAUL!
I wasn’t aware there was Pre Westminster Fashion show.
Let’s make it work, do designers!
Pre Westminster Fashion show strikes me as- my dog is too poor of an example of the breed to get into the show; so I’m compensating with feathers and rhinestones to prop up my poor shattered little fluffy self esteem- er my poor Fluffy’s self esteem- yeah that’s it.
Snooki is shorter than she looks on TV!
Less orange, too.
Same vacant stare though.
She does look like a little bit of a bitch.
For when child pageants just doesn’t get you the way it used to.
Or for when your real child has grown up and run away from home…
I think someone likes to use fancy words that he or she does not know how to use, *whereas* I do.
Govern Yourself, Accordingly!
The more I look at that dog, the more I feel its thoughts were “You sure this won’t end up on the internet?”
If only it knew…
Chihuahuas aren’t terriers. I mean, I can see how nifty alliteration can be. How about “Pooches and Project Runway”?
Go to YouTube, search on Toddlers and Tiaras, be enlightened and horrified.
Seen it. Does that somehow turn chihuahuas into terriers? A terrier would have shredded the whole outfit in ten seconds. Chihuahuas just vibrate in pop eyed misery.
It’s called creative license. If we’re being literal, did dogs design the dress? No. The dog is being forced into the dress and displayed, like on Toddler and Tiaras. So, yeah.
I got new for you, the chihuahua isn’t wearing a tiara, either, that’s more of a fez. But then, “Toys in Fezzes” doesn’t have pop media cred. It does sound like a porn movie of I’ll repute.
( can I make the hat trick?)
Ill, iPad insists on autocorrectimg oddly.
Barbie and Kennel.
Did it! I feel prouder than a balinese carpenter!
Yes, alliteration is “nifty”. So is SCANSION.
Let me sing you a song abut the macron and the breve,
Used way before the Ictus had to serve,
Tells a hundred high school kids which syllable to stress,
Makes their recitation of Shakespeare a mess
( stilted reading, that is. Unnatural talk, poor acting skills!)
So, my mom just walked up to me, looked over my shoulder at the screen and said,
“Oh my God. If that were a real show I would never leave the house ever again. I would just get really fat and die here watching Terriers in Tiaras with my Dachshunds and Lifetime would make a movie about me.”
Additionally, there is no fucking way in hell that dog “volunteered.”
Maybe in the sense that when the “designer” asked for volunteers, the rest of the tiny dogs ran in the other direction as fast as their little legs could carry them. This poor dog is deaf…or missing her hind legs…or something equally tragic, and she didn’t realize she was the only one left.
Just to fully embrace my burgeoning reputation as a loon who dresses her pets, I will say that I used to have one dog who adored being my living mannequin. She’d see me sit down at the sewing machine and she’d make a beeline for me. She really did enjoy getting dressed up.
Mostly I made her jackets & pajamas to keep her warm…my dogs like being warm as they have no body fat and not much hair. And I did have to custom-make or at least alter stuff because she had a leg amputated from cancer.
Mrs. Fucker dresses our poor dogs, I wouldn’t say they volunteer, but the male especially tolerates.
I used to have a guinea pig that tolerated clothes. Our dog? Not so much.
my little dog likes his utilitarian winter coat when the temps get ridiculously cold. Otherwise all my critters go commando.
OMG that’s my personal comment of the day. Trash reality tv, dogs and Lifetime movies 4eva!
Your mom and I sound like we would get along just fine.
Reminds me of those scammers that tell you up front it will take months to get your order. After said months pass and you never recieve your item, they laugh all the way to the bank because after that length of time paypal (not that we use paypal) won’t refund for non delivery.
ummm, wouldn’t you get more or less the same effect if you were to tie a dollar store feather duster to your dogs ass? You save $2899.00!
You win the award for “Person to Inspire My Next Insane Act” because I am definitely doing that tonight.
Please promise you’ll take photos and post them!
Since “crafts” like this aren’t going away anytime soon, I’m going to become a doggie psychologist. Those poor chi-wa-wa-wa-wa’s are going to need therapy after that kind of abuse.
I’ll be rich. I can already smell the money.
Or as I like to call them, chi-hoo-a-hoo-a’s
Have I mentioned how much I loathe chihuahuas? The ones in my neighborhood are generally nasty little rats in dog disguise, and they chase my cats up onto my roof. The Labs and Great Danes that walk by daily have owners who make them behave. So does my German Shepherd.
The chihuahua owners around here feel no need to train their animals to obey, or even to keep them on a leash. Or they use an “extendable” leash and let it out to a full 25 feet. Those hairy little bastards will stand halfway up my front walk and snarl at me. That’s why I keep a hockey stick on the porch. Never actually got to slap-shot a dog, but it sure makes the owners reel them back in quickly, and keep them reeled in when they walk past my house.
This is probably not the place to diss the little buggers, since April owns one.
I think the little buggers is in reference to the stupid owners.
I’m willing to bet April’s dog is a lot better behaved than most. Cause it knows it wouldn’t get to see fuckery of this caliber otherwise.
I can’t get too mad at Chihooahooas. One of my favorite dogs was a neurotic little one I met in Appalachia named Cash Money. So called because his owner said it was the only time she’d pay for a dog rather than adopting it. They’re bonkers little dogs, but I love them so.
I’ve been thinking about getting my little old boy a buddy, and I just had the best idea ever: Doctor Chi-Who-ahooa with a tiny hat and scarf!
I think it depends on owners more than on the breed- I’ve met some really cute and well behaved little Chihoowahooa dogs (thanks Jeffe- I’m glad I’m not the only one who mock pronounces it that way) dogs that almost had me want one- but I’ve met soo many (hell this goes for most toy breeds) that are nasty little shits- because their owners let them get away with bad behavior because they thing its “cute” and “he’s not going to hurt anyone he’s to small”
I agree; most of the temperament depends on the owner’s attitude. My neighbors have a pit bull mix who they took to obedience training, and he is a pleasant dog to be around. Their Cockapoo, on the other hand, is a bite-y little clump of perfectly groomed terror. Some owners tend to regard their toy dogs as “too cute” to hurt anyone, and absolve themselves of any duties of responsible pet ownership.
I agree that it’s the “he’s so small and cute” problem and the smaller the more the owners seem to let them be annoying and run loose.
There’s nothing worse than when people refuse to admit their dog isn’t friendly and let it approach other dogs or people and act surprised when something goes wrong. My parents were walking our old dog (a keeshond) in a park and came across a guy walking his pitbull off the leash. The pitbull immediately came running at our dog and clamped into his side. The only thing that saved him was his huge fur coat. Poor furry guy was really shaken just kind of lay there in the corner for a few days afterwards, sad and traumatized.
Wish that I could “lend” you my 16 lb Bengal. He is sweet tempered, but he is all muscle, loves to “wrestle,” and was fostered as a kitten with a Chihuahua puppy so considers them “fight” buddies. After meeting Mack, I doubt your terrors would ever chase a cat again
We have the opposite with the pom. She thinks she’s a large cat, but tragically our cats are crotchety in their twilight years and already dealt with one obnoxious dog. Anyway, she tries to play and the cats box her ears pretty viciously…but they’re de-clawed, so it’s kind of like a furry version of Sock-Em-Boppers. Totally counter-intuitive, too, as the dog seems to enjoy getting swatted in the head and toddles happily back in for more.
I am only uncomfortable around the chihuahuas that quiver uncontrollably like someone wound their spring too tight
That’s because the kiddos are COLD! Wouldn’t you be if someone brought your ass up here from Mexico?
I know you said ‘generally’ but I still feel the need to stand up for the 10 pounders. My chi mix is a well-behaved little dude. You wouldn’t believe the number of holier-than-thou people in my hipster neighborhood who feel like it’s OK to – unsolicited, mind you – tell me that they like big dogs better, call him a rat, etc. Not all little dogs are dicks just like not all big dogs are gentle giants.
Wouldn’t you be cranky if somebody insisted on doing this crap to you?
If you had a chihuahua would you want it any closer than 25 feet?
Are you sure this isn’t another taxidermy post?
What look is this going for exactly? Bellhop? Red carpet? Tormented animal? It’s so hard to tell.
I’m getting an “I Dream of Jeannie” vibe, myself.
Thank you! I’m glad I’m not the only one. I feel like all it’s missing is the ponytail through the top. (Ummm…on the other hand, I’d better not give them ideas…)
I can just hear the Toddler and Tiara moms screaming, “That little BITCH!!! – how does MY child compete with it???”
My advice to them? Start by getting your children spayed or neutered. Even if it doesn’t make them eligible for the dog show, it’ll be for the greater good.
I’d prefer if pageant parents got THEMSELVES spayed or neutered.
It should have started with the parents getting spayed or neutered then we wouldn’t have to deal with Toddlers and Tiaras.
I’m sure Dixie jumped at the chance to “volunteer” to be a model. Just like my cat “volunteers” when I to put antlers on her at Christmas.
Valium for pets: It’s the pill-shaped form of volunteering to model stupid costumes!
One time, we got costume wings on the psycho cat when we doped him up with enough catnip. The picture is adorable.
What is this woman on? She goes to sooooo much trouble to make a red and shiny and sparkly and feathery $3,000 dress and hat for the dawg, then accessorises with a dirty big thick black collar. It’s like putting biker boots on a ballerina.
I was wondering about that, too. I mean, the dog is indoors, so it’s not that big a deal if you take the collar off… Unless it’s a flea collar… D:
(I know it’s probably not, but still)
At first glance I thought it said something about a dog premenstrual dress……..
Red tent party for pups?
I wouldn’t pay three thousand dollars for a dog itself, let alone clothing for it. Hell, I can buy a pet tiger for less money than that in most states.
Not that my dogs have ever worn anything they didn’t actually need, like a coat or some shoes to keep their feet from freezing.
Where is PETA when you need them?
They’d just euthanize the dog because it would be better off that way (and yes, that’s how they think).
Man… Must… Die…
You know about Sad Etsy Dogs, right?
The perfect accompaniment to regretsy. I bow in your general direction!
Ya know, I’m going to be using my dogs as models in my listings but that’s going to be for collars.
I may dress them up in costumes from time to time but I would never demean them by posting it on the internet.
You are pure evil…we must swap photos of dogs in dresses!
Little Miss Morticia was the victim of my sister and I playing dress up with her at Petco. My mother needed her out of the house for a little while so we decided to have some fun.
Holy crap that is funny. I’m now officially up past my bedtime because I couldn’t stop looking at the archives.
It kills me inside a little to admit it, but I kind of love Darth Pug.
How can Vader Pug be anything but awesome? He totally pulls off the evil overlord look.
The “I’m Dead Inside” dog just slays me. Must. Have. That. Outfit!
I don’t know what’s less attractive…the dog or the outfit
Dixie, honey: wait for your moment, and then take a ginormous bite out of someone’s ass. Bonus points if it’s your owner or anyone holding feathers or swarovski crytals.
That dog’s got the crazy eye. Of course, so would I if I were wearing nothing but a $3000 rhinestone studded feather duster.
So does ours. I think it’s a tiny dog thing. Their eyes roll around of their own accord.
A lot of times, it’s just a sign of poor breed conformation. Or, the dog is about to bite the shit out of you. (I’ve worked in vet clinics for a long time) My guess for this particular chee-hooa-hooa, is it’s a little from column A and a little from column B.
That makes sense. She also licks the wall if you hold her too close to it. And her tongue sticks out to the side, but that’s because there’s something wrong with her teeth.
Westminster, here we come!
Aww, she sounds like a special, sweet little cupcake. I probably have poor breed conformation too, come to think of it. I wear glasses, I’m short, I have frizzy hair, I often get over-excited, and sometimes I also lick the walls if I’m too close.
Yup, she used to get (not as often anymore, unless she’s left alone in the house for eight hours) what we call “too excited” which involves dancing around and peeing all over herself.
As in “Aww, hello! Hello! Oh, you missed us! Oh you’re so special…oh, we missed you too! Aww, I know I know I know…uh oh, too excited. Too excited. Hey, does someone want to get the paper towels?”
My mom’s previous cocker spaniel did that. She had to do her meet-and-greet potty dance outside and we tried to warn the uninitiated… You just weren’t properly welcomed until she’d widdled on your feet!
Someone who isn’t me (except that it’s totally me) watches Toddlers and Tiaras obsessively and wants to point out that this post comes the day after last night’s latest episode which featured a “Me and My Pet” (grammatical errors and all, huzzah!) pageant last night. Ohmygosh. Only the mother who apparently spends up to $8000 on her twin girls’ dresses entered them with a lamb and a turkey, not a dog. Probably THE ONLY reason I didn’t know such finery for dogs existed til now.
CORRECTOIN: last night’s latest episode which featured a “Me and My Pet” (grammatical errors and all, huzzah!) pageant last night – omit one of the uses of ‘last night’, I have drunk fingers.
And a misspelled double post, I give up. I’ll get off the internet for now.
That turkey getup was freakin ADORABLE. Too bad the kid was so shitty about being up on stage. (Not that I blame her).
If there were even a dress my dog’s size, putting it on her would only be an invitation for her to run outside and roll in something very foul.
Someone call the ASPCA. I think this qualifies as abuse.
Chihuahuas qualify as abuse even without pimping them out like this.
Maybe that’s why they are so angry, though. Bad enough being a tiny breed, without being shoved into a bunch of weird shit like this.
Now that I think about it, I’d likely bite people’s ankles too.
Our overweight family pom LOVES wearing her dresses. She’ll actually sit and offer you her paw to aid in getting her arms through the armhole. We think it’s because when she’s dressed up everyone looks at her and fawns over her. It’s a little sad.
That said, we dress her in pet couture straight from the Target (specifically the special $1 bin). If you pronounce it “Tar-j’ay” you make up for the $2,899.00 difference.
Her Alexander McQueen look.
(To clarify, the muzzle is because she has a habit of swallowing rocks when on her walk.)
Oh wow, I didn’t see this earlier. She is so cute. I love poms, they look like furry little bears. And that muzzle is priceless, makes her look so tough.
Thanks! Sometimes we refer to her as “Hannibal Licker.”
That’s an adorable nickname. I think she needs a t-shirt with that written on it!
Your dog swallows rocks….someone upthread had a dog that licks walls….my sister has a kitten that runs into walls…aren’t we all full of special?
Yep, upthread was me too. Swallows rocks and licks walls and occasionally runs into them. It’s like a trifecta of inbreeding.
Our old dog ate rock toos- and bird seed. And paper. And aluminum foil. And tin can lids. And pens. And flash drives. And phones. And unused napkins. And coins. Basically if it fit in her mouth it was game- though that made poo cleanup interesting.
I guess that 500 dollar prom dress I’ve been bitching about that my daughter strong-armed me into buying for her was a BARGAIN. Who knew?
And I was actually uncomfortable asking for 2000 for a king-sized quilt. But it didn’t have rhinestones on it.
No Rhinestones = deal breaker
The scary thing is the dress in the photo has sold. The $2,900 is for a different dress that will be made-to-order.
Scary because someone, somewhere apparently already paid around $2,900 for this.
My trained and well-behaved Chihuahuas hate wearing clothes. If I wrestle them into anything, it ends up going missing.
This is Jasper. Right before he wiggled out of the shirt and shredded it to pieces under the very sofa he was sitting on.
I admit to making a dress for a foster chihuahua last week, but it was cotton and she is bald from mange. I was trying to make her look cute for adoptions. She still looks like a naked rat dog. http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/22824875
She’s plotting your “accidental fall down the stairs”. You can tell. You can see it in her eyes.
(also, good for you though, fostering her and all that. Good luck with finding her a forever home ♥)
She’s adorable, and so is the dress. I agree though, she appears to be plotting revenge.
Sparkle, baby! Look at the judges! Pretty feet!
Feel bad about not being able to buy this dress for your debutting dogette’s Coming Out Ball? You will feel sooo much better if you take a little looky-see at the other events at the 2012 Pre-Westminster Runway Show, including the … Puptual! A lovely doggie wedding between Artistically Bred Bride and Groom! [ I work with homeless and disabled humans and can not find adjectives vile enough for the parasites responsible for such monumental wastes of resources as Westminster]
I love my psycho little chihuahua…..not enough to by her a dress for 3 grand! That seller is smoking crack!
The buyers are smoking crack. the sellers are just filling a need.
Not a good need, and smoking crack might be cheaper, but still.
I have to admit my dog has a $90 collar (thank you Paco Collars) but that’s the ONLY expensive thing, it is something she can wear everyday and will probably outlast her, plus it’s gorgeous whereas that dress is awful. Oh yeah I also had a gift certificate that paid for part of it (thanks to dressing my dogs up in silly costumes for one of their contests!)
I also had to save up to buy it and sadly my dog who had actually won the contest and who I was originally planning to buy a collar for passed away before I was able to afford one.
Little known fact: It will still be dog.
still be *a* dog.
“Designed for the small dog in mind.”
That sentence gives me a headache. Does seller think someone would want it for a Great Dane? And what if my small dog wasn’t the one seller had in mind?
With your Etsy organ grinder outfit from China, and an Etsy fork mustache, it makes it all worthwhile when you have a really big dog to intimidate people into throwing coins and bills into your little tin cup. Dance for the people, Killer!!
Meanwhile, in Australia, it’s all about ducks:
Very conservative dress for Melbourne Cup Day, I must say.
How do they keep their hats on?? Duck pins, you say? Wait a minute . . .
Really? I’ve lived in Sydney all my life and I’ve never heard of this! What have I been missing?!
and here I thought clothes were only for those fake stone ducks & geese. gotta keep this away from my aunt!
I know that dog owners may lash out at me for this, but I don’t care: I don’t like toy dog humiliation, but I don’t care for toy dogs either.
How far the African wild dog has fallen! Over the past 100ky we have managed to breed wild canines into the psychotic and sickly show-beasts of today (unless you believe that PetCo book I read that began with “some believe dogs have existed alongside man since the dawn of time”, herp derp).
There is nothing natural about the sort of ridiculous forced breeding needed to dwarf a dog to fit into your purse, and the bizarre mental and immunological health problems of many breeds are testaments to how poorly we have tampered in dog’s domain.
So, please. All you toy dog breeders, I beg you. Step away from the rape racks. Stop breeding those little fucking monsters into even more fucked-up monsters. They haven’t been “dogs” since they lost the ability to fend for themselves or walk without waddling.
We’ve had ‘dogs’ – genetically different from wild canids – for 31,000 years, but that’s not exactly the Dawn of Time either.
Get a basenji. They’re still pretty primitive. Ours always did remind me of something feral. And he was well behaved by many basenji standards.
And they SING!
I dunno, some toy breeds are alright- terriers and pinschers hunt vermin no matter their size, as do a handful of other small breeds. Some smaller spaniels can still be used to aid the hunter. I agree with you on the moving mop and neurotic degenerate breeds though.
I would buy this if it were 1/100th or less of the price. I have a little dog, who loves to be dressed up.
I’m never going to get to own $3k dress. Ever. I’m a little jealous of that little bitch.
I like to believe HK bought it and tried to put it on her dog, and that’s how we got the instructions.
Zombie dog wants revenge.
I took my two rescue mutts to the groomer’s today and I was looking forward to having clean dogs. When I picked them up, I didn’t even get two steps out of the door before one of them pissed on the other. So I can’t imagine spending that kind of money on dog clothing. I love my pups to pieces, but I’d rather keep the money and bang my head against the wall, thank you very much.
And it’s funny about chihuahuas, I’ve seen ones that I instantly loathe and I’ve also fallen in love with others.
I am planning a Kickstarter campaign for all the poor stray chihuahuas in my neighborhood. I intend to hit up this Etsy seller and purchase each dog a pageant dress, and then re-release them into the neighborhood. Who’s onboard?
*$2,900 each is a small price to pay to improve the self esteem of these homeless varmints.
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