I hear Rick Santorum is giving this to his wife on Mother’s Day.
This is the PERFECT gift for the mom who eats her placenta!
It’s the perfect shower accessory for anyone who hates house guests!
Or Alicia Silverstone.
Nothing says clean like the aroma of a fresh, floral fetus
I want to wish everyone a “Happy Star Wars Day”:
May the Fourth be with you.
Is their real goats milk in goats milk soap? If YES there ought to be placenta in this soap also!!
This would be better if it came in “amniotic fluid” or “blood” colors.
Exactly! I was thinking a little red swirled into the ‘sac’ part would have added a lot.
Great idea! This would also be pretty simple to do. Using powdered dyes would allow a lot of dye to erupt when one gets to the area with the red part. A friend of a friend of mine had yellow soap that made a red bloody lather. Got to find out how they did it!
Or made with breast milk instead of goat’s.
Or if it came in fetal monster/deformed varieties.
Thanks for the suggestion. I started off with deformed baby soap:
I encountered a person who got offended that I was targeting people who had deformities, which I did not intend to be destructive. So I stopped at that. I began this all with a cyclops baby originally in urethane:
then did fetuses and babies who had deformities that would be made through the process of casting – ie. some people are born without the top part of their head – when I made the pour spout of the mold on the head, pouring not enough soap into the mold would create the same effect… etc.
I am saddened I can’t access the Cyclops baby link.
I kind of want to see it.
Oh my…I know what all of my “Right to Life-r” friends are getting for Christams THIS year!
“Christmas”…and I’m not even drunk.
I think you had to invent a new holiday just to get it to them even sooner (and possibly twice in one year?)
HAPPY CHRISTAMS EVERYONE!
(Seriously, if the holiday already has the requirement of giving out faux-fetus soap to ProLifers I’m all for it.)
That can be the new holiday. National Piss Off a Pro-Lifer Day. Think of the fun!
This made my day! My soaps are for sale again – with a lead time of 2 weeks. Someone at a craft fair suggested working with Planned Parenthood to distribute them so people have reminders of being stuck with a baby. I have tried making the fetus out of silicone so you’d be literally stuck with the baby afterwards. I made the babies a little too big so the soap part got too easy to get off. Should try it again when I get a chance.
Just when your kids started to wash their hands on their own…
But at least they won’t need to ask where babies come from.
So Irish kids are born from Irish Spring soap?
yeah, they just “spring” out!
No, we’re born when potatoes, alcohol and closing time on a Saturday night collide!
I am SO stealing this one.
Add a power-outage so that the TV doesn’t work and bajingo! – little Colleen or Kevin
I may have just died inside. You know. Just a little.
It’s ok. We will encase you in soap
Please do. It’s my dying wish to be “upcycled” into “art” and sold on Etsy.
We’ll throw some watch parts and clothing from Hot Topic and then you can be “steampunk” and “vintage” too!
I’m already vintage. Don’t even need the Hot Topic additions.
Mine too. The other day I was trying to convince friends that as I’m not planing on using my uterus, someone should take it and get crafty with it. I figure a little glitter, a glue gun, whatever kind of “inspiration” they favor (pills, booze, hallucinogens etc) and in no time they’d have a creation fit for Etsy. Unfortunately I didn’t have any takers.
Damn! I should have thought of that when I had my partial hysterectomy. A perfectly good chance to upcycle gets thrown in the toxic waste bin!
Terribly off-topic, but I’ve agreed that if we’re ever stranded somewhere and have to resort to cannibalism, my friends can eat me ONLY if they each promise to bring back one of my bones and display it prominently in their homes for the rest of their lives.
Hmm. Maybe I should change that to “…bring back one of my bones and sell it on Etsy.”
It would look wonderful covered in “cabochon” bottle caps. Pink of course, and sprinkled with glitter
Where’s the umbilical cord? That’d be an awesome twist on soap on a rope.
But you do have a good point. If fetus soap can sell, at least make it realistic for fucks sake!
Cmon, embryonic sac is supposed to be a really good moisturizer. Gotta keep those hands looking young!
I hear bathing in virgins blood is good for that too.
The Countess Bathory is a credible expert on staying young, after all.
I think that you are on the wrong list for virgins:)
Don’t believe everything you hear. I’ve eaten three young girls hearts and still haven’t achieved that youthful glow. Maybe I need Snow White…
Really? Do you order them from the kids menu?
I wish the fetus were plastic so it was like a prize inside that you get as a reward for keeping yourself clean. I need incentive most of the time.
Yes! Like those soaps when I was a kid that had little toys inside. Soaps that OTHER kids got, ’cause my parents insisted on buying boring soaps like Ivory and Cashmere Bouquet. I remember someone muttering, “You’d just eat it!” but I may not have heard clearly over the crunching of the wicker basket shredded wheat I was eating.
Yeah, I never got those soaps either. The closest I got was a bouncy ball with pikachu in it that I eventually maimed in order to free him…
Cashmere Bouquet! God, I haven’t thought of that in ages!
It’s still on the market! At least in my local 99-cent store. Seems to be a lot of it and I think they’re printing the labels to look vintage. Or maybe it’s real vintage. Still smells great!!
The Vermont Country Store has it at $10 for six bars.
As much as I like the Ortons, if I’m paying shipping for soap I’d rather it be something from one of the FJLs who are Forum regulars.
Vintage! Quick, put it up on Etsy! NOW!
Making fake vintage labels – must be an Etsy admins day job.
@Mapleleaves: That’s why I hate the VCS, although they have things that I’d love to get. A few years ago I bought 3 bars of Cashmere Bouquet, banded together (by the manufacturer) for 99 cents. Now I *think* it’s 2 bars. $10 for 6?
@Bloodmoney…you haves an idea! I’m surprsed I didn’t find modern ‘vintage’ soaps there. The only Cashmere Bouquet soap they have is a box of 3, each wrapped in paper. Looks legit. The rest are truly vintage powder tins or boxes.
I still have a lizard-on-a-rock bouncy ball. I pretend it’s a tiny crystal ball that I use to spy on lizards.
At fifteen bucks, it’s almost worth buying a few to slip into some of my dudeful friends’ showers. It might take until they get to the actual fetus before they notice because they are guys, but that’s okay. I can wait.
Nothing says soothing and refreshing to me like something you would see on an anti-planned parenthood sign.
I do love that a “soothing” lavender (or lavendar” if seller prefers) aroma is combined with a soap that’s going to scare the shit out of an unsuspecting user.
It’s kind of brilliant, almost. They’re lured into a false sense of security by aromatherapy then BAM! fetus.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
That is just wrong on so many levels…
Yes. That’s why it’s here. But thank you for your incredible insight.
Murphy’s Law predicts that someone will be entering the emergency room with one of these in an orifice. I’d love to see the report on that. “Pulled fetus out of anal cavity. Smelled like lavender.”
If Facebook weren’t acting wonky I’d have posted that before you.
I was just thinking that I would totally buy one of those until I learned that the soap isn’t vegan…I just know there’s something wrong with that statement but I can’t put my finger on it….
Before anyone pretends to “give birth” to one of these, remember that a bar of soap can get sticky when it dries. Nobody wants to go to the ER with a toy fetus stuck inside them.
But it’s not a toy–it’s more soap. So, by the time “you” got to the ER, the baby would be melted, dripping out of an orifice. Perhaps an arm or part of the head would still be identifiable. Those ER docs and nurses think they’ve seen it all? [Insert evil laugh] Not yet they haven’t.
I love you. Yet I’m almost certain the mental images will be nightmare fuel for weeks.
It’s almost like an episode of “Twilight Zone,” isn’t it?
@AutobotDen: Aw, thanks for the love and if you mean the images will cause YOU nightmares, I’m sorry.
Steamy…is that you? Is one of your tentacles holding a glass of something? (And thanks for the TZ ref! VERY flattering!)
Better than a real fetus – this one doesn’t eat, poop, cry, or hang around 18+ years.
So I have dutifully linked all my friends to this in case they ever need something to freak me the fuck out. If they don’t get it for me first and thus scare me away from the idea, I know what every single one of them is getting at their baby shower.
Gives new meaning to the phrase “baby shower” too…
It would be fun to put that in the guest bathroom, and forever creep the hell out of your guests. Company sucks, anyway.
The proper guest bathroom soaps are hand soaps.
(these are how I discovered Etsy in the first place)
I dunno, somehow I think a bunch of tiny little wangs would be better–all the fun of disembodied body parts with that extra “I fell sort of violated now” edge.
not tiny… but still
Wow – do they do them with just one finger up? If so, I’ve know what is going to be in the office gift exchange this year.
I see so many awesome items of fuckery and have two big regrets: We don’t do an office exchange and I don’t have enough people in my life who would appreciate these kinds of things, without praying a few novena (noveni?) for my soul.
In a sick, twisted, and demented way I think those are actually kind cool. Something to freak the utter fuck out of my husband with.
This is scary as shit. If I saw this in someone’s bathroom (imagine taking a bath…grabbing the soap…) screaming would ensue…
*now plotting an awesome prank…*
I agree. I think it’s kind of hilarious. Maybe there is something wrong with me. It’s kind of clever and it looks like it was pretty well made.
But, like I said, it’s entirely possible there is something wrong with me.
Yeah, this is more than I can deal with.
At first I thought it was soap only for use on fetuses. Like, some kind of special patchouli stinkin’ hippie cleanse your fetuses chakras from the outside soap.
I think someone’s just found their million dollar idea!
That is so mine… I’ll send pictures ^_^
At least one pic should be of you looking at in horror…while it floats in the toilet.
Oh sweet baby Jeebus, the possibilities are ENDLESS!
I am FTDing you a bouquet of thumbs.
You, sir/madame, win one internets.*
*Void where prohibited. Side-effects may include nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. Call your doctor if you have an erection that last more than four hours.
I must be one sick puppy….I’m laughing so hard I’m crying and about to pee my pants
Someone already bought it–you? (Or perhaps April bought it before she even posted it. She does that. Teases us mercilessly and then laughs evilly while we whimper in loss. And Etsy sellers thinks she only gets her jollies from making fun of them!)*
*Nothing that I wrote about April was meant to be negative. I am in awe of her awesome evilness. I should only be half as evil as she, to die happy. Only half!
Oh HELL yeah! If I don’t keep it for myself, it’ll make an awesome birthday present for my sister. =^_^=
If you keep it, then perhaps you’d like to give your sister the foot-shaped…
No, too late. Someone bought THAT as well.
ah but the foot is still available. & while it lacks the perfect essence of the fetus, somehow the foot is even creepier–especially the falling flakes of skin from its soul:
[it's even more disturbing enlarged.]
My sister has podophobia (yeah, fear of feet is a real thing) and I wish I’d gotten here fast enough to surprise her with this for a baby shower gift.
No worries, I’ll be making more. Message me if you have problems ordering: http://www.etsy.com/listing/90056236
You know, I have to congratulate you: not only have you come up with something bizarre enough to make it to Regretsy, it’s simultaneously awesome enough that many of us want it (including myself! I’m actually seriously eyeing some of those… ). AND you reacted to being posted here cheerfully!
That’s kind of… awesome, really. You give me that rare bit of faith in the internet.
Damn it you fat jealous looser! I wanted that thing!
No, these are brilliant. The soap equivalent of those fucking disturbing stuffed – things, from the last post. I want some.
I really like this. Freaky. But I think the addition of a rope umbilical would put it over the top into total greatness.
I really regret looking at this. I am eating dinner and I now want to puke!
It’s just soap.
It generally isn’t a good idea to eat while on this site. There have been many times when I have lost my appetite while viewing some of the items.
Rule one of Regretsy, never eat or drink when entering.
Rule two: Don’t bitch to us if you neglect to follow rule one.
Oh, I’m pretty sure drinking is allowed before, during and after.
It’s not only allowed, it’s encouraged.
Especially if it makes for hilarious spit takes!
I know, but it reminded me of all the ultra-sound pics my friends have been posting on fb. And honestly it took a moment to realize it was just soap inside…I thought for a spilt second it was a real animal embryo. If you can buy bits of your dried placenta in a necklace then why not an embryo in a soap?
3D printed babies: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1195703/The-stunning-new-technology-allows-parents-hold-life-size-model-unborn-child.html
would love to get my hands a hold of this technology, then anyone can order soaps of themselves as a fetus.
She should make a “after bath” moisturizer to go with this. Placenta scented, obvs.
I think you mean “after birth” moisturizer.
That’s exactly what I meant.
I’m so sad. Twice now the bacon and gasoline scented soap I recommended got trumped. I must be a bone head.
hmmm….potential there….I think both would be awesome. Glad to know I’m not the only person that likes the smell of it. However I don’t think I would want to smell like gasoline, I just like it when I go to the gas station.
I adore the smell of gasoline. But I don’t want to smell like it.
Bacon and gasoline combined? Add coffee to the mix and you might really be on to something.
And popcorn! The four irresistible scents!
We could call it “eau de mechanic” or something.
I was thinking more like “Trucker Essence”.
I actually love this. Best part is that the baby starts melting once you get down far enough. Adorable.
There is something horrifyingly fabulous about these.
I am a crazy, hippie, homebirth, breastfeeding, weirdo…and *I* think this is creepy!
Should tell you something.
One question: What did you do with the placenta?
We truly want to know. We won’t judge*—honestly we won’t!**
*Yes, yes we will judge
**Honestly, we WILL judge you
Nothing, Wanted to get it encapsulated, but didn’t have the money.
If my doula would have done it for free, I would have totally encapsulated mine.
I kind of like the fetus soap, though. For the prank possibilities and the fun when the fetus starts melting in the shower.
It’s so 2003!
It’s so Tyler Duerden!
And after your shower, you may have a cup of tea – and a fetus cookie!!
Okay, okay…forget about fetus soap for a moment and take a look at the seller’s profile. Can anyone translate this statement for me?
“I am an artist interested seeking for the ultimate object that defines as true. By true I mean visual comfort – a state of seeing where the true-ness of the meaning is that which is most comfortable.”
I’m an East Coast artist myself and I don’t know what the hell that means.
I’m stumped. Did you try “Google Translate”?
I bounced it through several languages (15 or so) and ended up with this:
“Painting to determine the most favorable opinion – in fact the river is more convenient”
Tattoo it on your face so you’ll never forget–the river is more convenient.
Can you make this into a wall decal, please?
There really ought to be a setting for “Artist’s Statement” on Google Translate.
Off to tweet “the river is more convenient” brb!
Translation: “I’m bat-shit crazy. Also, I am visually comforted by fetus art.”
Crazy, or crazy high. Someone might want to find out where the good stuff is.
You’re pretty on point there.
Now off to make leak proof underwear.
That’s kind of… awesome, really. You give me that rare bit of faith in the internet.
Seriously, I’m considering one of these for my manager for Christmas. Mostly because she appreciates strange things and might find it hilarious. I could swear she’s bought strange soap before herself, though it wasn’t a foot or fetus, I forget what it was, but I remember being delighted that weird soap like that existed.
Rick Santorum’s speechwriter seems to have a new job.
“I am so high you guys”
That was my skull! I’m so wasted!
It either means “English as a 2nd (3rd?) language or that the person was REALLY wasted when writing the profile.
So, if you back talk to your Mom about her Placenta recipes, does she make you wash your mouth out with this?
Finally, a use for that fetus mold I’ve had laying around!
Alright, which one of you bitches bought my fetus soap before I could open the link? I demand restitution!
Annnnnd your avatar perfectly illustrates your post!
I kind of want this in my bathroom, but only on Halloween.
Nonsense, fetuses are fun all year ’round! Right?
Only if they’re real.
My first thought was, EWWW GROSS!
My second thought was, “I have to get this NAOW!” I am now bereft since it’s been sold. It’s just the right amount of wrong. (I hope the seller sees this…)
Why can I not picture the gentleman in your avatar (or the picture on your blog) ever saying “NAOW!”?
And this comment marks the first time I realized Vagrarian’s avatar pic is *not* a rendition of “American Gothic.”
I enjoy juxtaposition.
Thanks a million! They’re back if you’re still interested: http://www.etsy.com/listing/88996953
I have a roommate that refuses to clean the tub, and she makes a hell of a mess.
I want to leave on of these lying near the drain as revenge.
Make sure it’s custom made with the outer glycerin layer having a reddish or pink tint.
She isn’t smart enough to know the difference. And, sadly, I am not lying.
I wonder if the soap will give me baby-soft skin?
After managing biological waste for a college and then a company, I’m almost certain this isn’t legal to sell, even if it’s your fetus.
It’s not that you’re not entitled to keep it (that’s out of my realm so I have no idea) but there are pretty strict laws about transfer of body parts, what with the potential infection and all.
Don’t fret. It’s a soap fetus, not a real fetus.
The “fetus” is made of soap, but is no less wrong.
OK – the AZ law making giving a fetus rights preconception is bad enough, let’s not extend it to a soap fetus.
SHHHH! You’ll give them ideas!
Considering the fetus is also made out of soap, and not, well, fetus, I’m pretty sure this is actually 100% legal to sell.
This would be HORRIFIC if the fetus were not made of soap. No. No no no no no.
Apparently I should not post when I’m that tired on a Friday night. I really couldn’t figure out why everyone was so amused by a fetus in soap. Oops.
It’s the end of a long week, and so I’m desperately trying to suppress my inner pedant, which wants to point out the inconsistency of terms within the listing itself, and even the title of this post.
Gosh it sucks to get to the weekend and not be able to relax with a drink! This baby better be well worth the lack of booze.
My eyes are tired and I read your post ending with “This baby sitter better be well worth the lack of booze.”
You mean zygotes, fetuses, and embryos aren’t the same thing? The people outside Planned Parenthood told me they’re all just wittle babies.
Drink like a mother once you get the babe out! Which, after 9 months of not drinking, amounted to 1 glass of wine for me. And then a nap. It was awesome.
:: falls down ::
NOOOO!!! Why did someone buy this? I have always wanted fetus soap. I have got to learn to make soap. Zygote soap for that baby smooth skin.
Thanks! They’re back if you’re still interested: http://www.etsy.com/listing/88996953
This is disgusting…but it just dawned on me how awesome it would look as it gets used. I’m thinking carefully rubbing away the head, and leaving it for the guests to use.
I thought right-to-lifers had a thing about fetuses going down the drain? On second thought, that makes this the perfect gift for them! Imagine the looks of horror! Oh, the possibilities.
This creeps me out less than these:
At least you don’t eat the soap. Well, most people wouldn’t.
I would totally buy this. I think it’s a really neat idea, and totally well made.
Then again I am a doula and childbirth nut, so maybe that is it.
I immediately went to purchase it, then, seeing it was sold, messaged the person who makes them to ask for more!
This is perfect! I’ve always wanted to shower with a fragrant fetus!
Add to the list of things never to search for on Etsy: “fetus.”
I think we need to be reminded of this seller, featured in the Regretsy book:
Look! She has a cupcake!
HAHAHA- did you see the listing on the “feti”?
“Know someone expecting twins?”
I am so sure my sister would have loved a conjoined twins necklace while she was gestating her identical boys. How comforting to know attached babies could be cute, and art!
The conjoined twins were actually the ones in the book. Personally, I wanted the Sarah Palin, complete with glasses.
I got an Obama fetus…. it is excellent and adorns my christmas tree
I’m loving the zombie fetus, and I’m not a zombie-loving person.
The Zombie Fetus is…probably weird to say… adorable. Plus, I actually have twins. (linking this to them right now and waiting for screams from the living room)
These are kind of fucking delightful.
So many posts, this is the first thought that comes to my head. This time, I just have to type it out loud.
That is disturbing as hell.
I know I’m pro-life, but I really want to abort it!
this is strangely appealing to the bionerd in me.
but pure glycerin? that is going to give you the worst yeast infection known to (wo)man.
Regarding “I hear Rick Santorum is giving this to his wife on Mother’s Day.” But of course; the woman needs LOTS of soap to wash away all that fecal froth.
I think I’ll leave a few of these in the shared dorm bathrooms. Should be interesting… Safe sex reminder, if nothing else!
That would be an epic trolling. I heartily approve.
I wonder how this would fit in a knitted uterus? I make ‘em as gifts for baby showers. They always provoke conversation. The little old ladies get huffy and offended, then they go home which is when the drinking starts in earnest. A knitted uterus containing a soap foetus would be very easy to wash, too, and there’s nothing else to want really is there.
As a soap saver/scrubbie? That would be awesome!
I kind of want a series of little organ-containing soaps. I’m sure the artist who managed that scary foot could make a heart in glycerin.
I need this! Fetus? Bah, who cares. I want an effing heart, liver, spleen and some other choice organs encased in soap! Those would be so beautiful!
Livers ARE surprisingly beautiful…
Anatomically correct heart would be my dream soap though. I’d get it for my BF for Christmas!
Considering he originally confessed his feelings for me by giving me an anatomically-correct painting of a heart, it’d be rather appropriate.
Argh, sold!!!! Dammit, was a perfect gift for my BF… well, most of my friends really. That has just made me realise what a sick crowd I hang out with.
Has anyone else noticed that the postage ‘with another item’ is more expensive than on its own?
They’re back if you’re still interested: http://www.etsy.com/listing/88996953
and doink… thought postage ‘with another item’ is for the total of combined shipping, not additional. Thanks for clearing it up for me.
Did she close her shop? It doesn’t seem to be there now. I was honestly going to see if she had some more traditional-shaped soap that was like fetus soap part. The goats milk and lavender stuff. It’s sounds nice to me. Heaven knows I have more than enough soap, but I always like getting more.
It’d be quite sad if she closed her shop because of being featured here.
Her shop sure seems to still be there, it’s just sold out of everything.
Oh, okay. Because I even clocked on her name and didn’t see a shop at all, just her favorite items and favorite shops.
It’s only $15! This would make a fantastic gift.
Are there soaps with testicles and ovaries in them? The whole set could be used to teach reproductive health or something.
I cannot possibly top Helen’s relevant Santorum snark. I’m not going to even try.
NO, WHY THAT SONG NOW?!
“Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap,
Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap,
I would slip-py and I’d slidey,
Down everyone’s backside-y
Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap.”
Awesome ‘blind’ gift! You know, like take a mystery pressy to the office Christmas party …. he he he …
Oh the cruelty potential on this one is through the fucking ROOF…
HOLY FUCKING HELL I WANT THIS. BUT I CAN’T SEE HER SHOP. WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!??!?!
Relax! *cuddles rawr* She simply sold out and will be making more this weekend. We can ALL have have own fetus soap
Ha – that’s even better than the fetus chocolate truffles I made once in my attempt to piss off the pro-life protesters at the local abortion clinic. Hmm – maybe I should put those on Etsy. Anyone interested in fetus truffles?
I lack shame: if the chocolate is good enough, I’d eat doggie doodoo-shaped truffles. I’m sure they’d be…Devine.
If the price is right and they’re tasty, hell yes.
For anyone interested, I contacted the seller and she told me she will be making more this weekend, and restocking- she will email me before stocking so I can be sure to get one! Line up, folks, a fetal foaming is one you will never forget!
I am a total sicko-, or something, ’cause I would totally purchase this soap. If I didn’t spend every extra cent I have on booze.
My very first regretsy purchase. It’s a housewarming gift. I wish I could say it is for an abortion doctor. Think they get a lot of fetus paraphernalia?
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