I’m an Aussie & could sure use the $300 bucks….. & while i’m not fond of cheese slices, the pic includes tomato sauce (ketchup) & i eat that with everything…
My wit too sharp for you? Maybe you need a chevre in the right direction. Maybe my cousin in California…out in Monterey, Jack can do wonders training people’s sense of humor…
Yeah, it’s the Kraft singles that are icking me out too. And not just the smell. The idea of those clammy, plasticky squares of pseudo cheese would feel like on my tits is enough to give me the heebie-jeebies.
Yeeeargh, I’m gonna go look at the Leather Oaks entry to regain some sense of normalcy now…….
I came to the party too late for that one. Saw all the photos on the homepage, though…and didn’t want to know any more about it. I like to be good to myself that way, at least once in a while.
As a person from Wisconsin, I am offended that those yellow plastic squares are called cheese. Next thing you know they’ll be calling Coor’s light beer.
I think this was Anne Hathaway’s audition for Catwoman. (look at the mouth and nose, awfully similar!)
“You? As Catwoman?!?! BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
“Look, if you give me the part, I’ll cover myself in cheese slices and squirt ketchup all over me. Deal?”
“Deal.”
I think I have that album somewhere. Very disturbing to find that as a child (when it first came out and one of my siblings bought it). Sure, THEY can cover themselves with baked beans, but I try to play murder victim with the ketchup and there’s hell to pay!
I’m not clear—do we just do it for the havarti of it in our own time, or are we supposed to take photos and post? ‘Cause some of us may already have such photos. Maybe. It’s a possibility.
Steamy, relax! I didn’t say I’d show them to anyone! Oh, wait, is today tne 2nd? Wow. Mortgage payment and maintenance due AGAIN? T$k, t$k. My, how the time flie$.
GILES: Somehow our joining with Buffy and invoking the essence of the Slayer’s power was an affront to the source of that power.
BUFFY: You know, you could have brought that up to us *before* we did it.
GILES: I did. I said there could be dire consequences.
BUFFY: Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast.
…
BUFFY: Well, at least you all didn’t dream about that guy with the cheese. I don’t know where the hell that came from.
(Yeah, so that was my all-time-favorite episode… still had to go look it up.)
It’s a shame I’m about as far away from Melbourne as one can possibly get. This looks like fun easy money, especially since the Australian dollar is worth more than the US dollar right now.
It looks like some of the cheese slices have started to melt. Which makes me think that she is screaming instead of laughing, and the guy wants to eat her (not in the pleasant way).
However, I am guessing that the guy (I am just assuming it is a guy) probably is just interested in sploshing.
Unfortunately, the ad was taken down when I tried to view it on Gumtree.
When I first saw the link on fb, I thought “Too bad, I’m already taken!” (Wisconsinite) So glad I clicked over- I just threw up in my mouth a little. Especially at the slightly melted part on her collar bone. Ew.
“Hey thanks for answering the ad. We really appreciate it. So if you want to make yourself at home, you can just start covering yourself with these lovely Kraft singles whenever you feel ready. Would you like something to drink? We have bottled water and Fresca. If you’re feeling peckish you can help yourself to anything in the fridge.”
Prairie Home Companion for the win. I wonder what percentage of snarky regretsians also love Garrison Keillor’s G rated stylings. I would think “small”, but maybe not…
mustachioed_bajingo_buttons
May 2, 2012 at 12:41 pm
I live in Melbourne…& $300 would pay for a good night of drinking…but nothing says “crazy axe-weilding murderer with a cheese fetish” like advertising on Gumtree for a cheese woman or whatever this is. Oh…& I have the flu.
Great. Now I’ve got Wallace stuck in my head saying, “Cheese, Gromit!” and “What’s wrong with Wensleydale?” alternating with the Monty Python Cheese Shop sketch. I hate the voices in my head.
When I first saw the title I read it as “Seeking Chinese Woman”. I read the and the comments, and the entire time wondering where her being Chinese was mentioned. Turns out it was my brain’s way of making a more logical statement out of “Seeking Cheese Woman”.
There might be a list in the rules or guidelines, somewhere. I have noticed they don’t like people posting “First”, they don’t like that LOLcat language and “methinks” will always get crossed out. Not sure how they feel about that Pony language. Profanity is encouraged. Creative profanity is appreciated. Older phrases, like “I just threw up in my mouth a little” often bring disdain. Finnish is greeted warmly. Fake Finnish as well. Swearing creatively using English, Finnish or Fake Finnish is best. Hope it helps.
Also LOL by itself is frequently removed. Basically, go to the Cheezeburger website and scroll through those comments. See all the stupidity? Keep it there. Don’t bring it here.
Didn’t do that? Back off the refresh button and calm down. Have a drink. It’ll all sort itself out soon.
But how do the slices stay on? With ketchup? Yeah, let me just squirt this stuff all over you and stick these cheese slices on, that’ll be just perfect.
You guys, I live in Melbourne and will gladly let some guy stick cheese on me for money, also I’m such a hopeless loser I’m always on the look out for new friends. Stay tuned for pictures.
This is reminding me of a time back in the heyday of myspace when I was messaged by someone with the username ‘PeeOnMe4Cash’. At least he got straight to the point.
Hi folks, I’m the guy who placed the ad (seriously). I had no idea until now that it had been re-posted elsewhere, but honestly, reading through these comments has given me some of the best laughs I’ve ever had. Thanks so much guys.
May 2, 2012 at 11:25 am
You know, I’ve worked as a Sushi Table before and that only pays $50/30 minutes, and there were about 300 people at the party.
I’d say this is a pretty good deal. Especially if you get to keep clothing on underneath.
May 2, 2012 at 11:35 am
Well, you probably only had your front covered in sushi, right? This is for the entire body, so it pays more.
Of course, there is also less danger of getting Wasabi on your nipples.
May 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Wasabi other places would concern me more.
Brings a whole new meaning to “burning sensation.”
May 2, 2012 at 1:00 pm
Burning Bush?
May 2, 2012 at 10:20 pm
Well, you probably would yell out “Oh my God!!”
May 3, 2012 at 5:08 am
pics or it didn’t happen applies here!
May 2, 2012 at 11:25 am
I love cheese. And I love 300 dollars. Sure wish I was in Australia.
May 2, 2012 at 12:16 pm
It would be Australian dollars, right? That’s about $309 U.S. dollars, which makes it even better!
June 8, 2012 at 7:52 pm
If you get to keep the cheese, that’s an extra $10 there. Mmm, cheese!
May 2, 2012 at 4:33 pm
me too
May 2, 2012 at 11:06 pm
I’m an Aussie & could sure use the $300 bucks….. & while i’m not fond of cheese slices, the pic includes tomato sauce (ketchup) & i eat that with everything…
I cant lie, I’m tempted….
May 2, 2012 at 11:25 am
No touching or anything? I’m in.
We’ll have a Ghouda old time.
May 2, 2012 at 11:32 am
Cheese puns? Brie-ng it on…
May 2, 2012 at 11:33 am
i havarti an idea, let’s get her to cheddar clothes, it’ll be fondue! we’ll need and camambert because velveeta lotta pictures.
May 2, 2012 at 11:56 am
I wonde if the model will stay still, or if she will be romano round.
May 2, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Maybe he’ll give her Parmesan to do both.
May 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm
damn, manchego, you beat me!
May 2, 2012 at 12:21 pm
she would have to ask parmesan first.
May 2, 2012 at 12:45 pm
The whole idea makes me bleu.
May 2, 2012 at 1:02 pm
If she eats all that cheese, it’ll make her irregiano. Hope she has a good supply of stilton softeners.
May 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Look what you started, you munster!
May 2, 2012 at 1:47 pm
We just don’t give edam.
May 2, 2012 at 10:25 pm
This is getting gouda – quite a feta to keep it going so long.
May 2, 2012 at 12:21 pm
The raclette here is too loud, keep it down. Time y’all gruyere up.
May 2, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Hey,calm down, now. No need to go postel on us!
May 2, 2012 at 6:20 pm
My wit too sharp for you? Maybe you need a chevre in the right direction. Maybe my cousin in California…out in Monterey, Jack can do wonders training people’s sense of humor…
May 2, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Halloumi hearties! All these cheese fetashists are getting brie excited!
May 2, 2012 at 11:25 am
I think my cholesterol level just went up. Where’s the Lipitor?
May 2, 2012 at 11:25 am
PLEASE tell me this will get incorporated into the next series of California Cheese commercials!
May 2, 2012 at 1:13 pm
I can’t wait to see what the HK/cow says about this outfit!
May 2, 2012 at 11:25 am
Just imagine the smell of moist, sticky Kraft singles combined with thirty minutes of human sweat. Who wants grilled cheese?
May 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Is it bad that it’s mostly the smell of Kraft singles that makes me seriously reconsider whether it’s worth the $300?
May 2, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Yeah, it’s the Kraft singles that are icking me out too. And not just the smell. The idea of those clammy, plasticky squares of pseudo cheese would feel like on my tits is enough to give me the heebie-jeebies.
Yeeeargh, I’m gonna go look at the Leather Oaks entry to regain some sense of normalcy now…….
May 2, 2012 at 2:22 pm
I came to the party too late for that one. Saw all the photos on the homepage, though…and didn’t want to know any more about it. I like to be good to myself that way, at least once in a while.
May 2, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Kraft singles aren’t really cheese at all. I’m not sure exactly what they are, but they’re called “cheese food” and that means not actually cheese.
Maybe the ad should read “Seeking Cheese Food Woman”.
May 2, 2012 at 1:06 pm
Maybe they’re what real cheese eats?
May 3, 2012 at 12:27 am
It’s “process cheese food product”. Note that it’s not “processed“, though, so it’s all good.
May 2, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Ugh I can’t even look at Kraft Singles without thinking about how gross they are.
I prefer actual cheese over anything that says “cheese food”.
May 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm
The good thing is, in Australia, Kraft ‘Cheese’ slices aren’t easy to get. The other dairy companies do make them, and they are way more ‘cheese’like.
May 2, 2012 at 11:26 am
As a person from Wisconsin, I am offended that those yellow plastic squares are called cheese. Next thing you know they’ll be calling Coor’s light beer.
May 2, 2012 at 11:29 am
I’m right there with you, fellow Wisconisinite. I’ve eaten processed packaged cheesefood that had more claim to the name than those vile things. :/
May 2, 2012 at 11:32 am
Says the state that gave us “Milwaukee’s Best”.
May 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm
And Beer 30. And Miller, for that matter. But we make lots of good stuff, too.
^Also a Wisconsinite
May 2, 2012 at 12:32 pm
That was a joke we played on the rest of the world. We still can’t believe you people drank that shit.
May 2, 2012 at 11:34 am
Coor’s Light? Isn’t that the bottled horse whizz that sort of resembles fetid pond water?
Don’t mix horse pee with sliced cheez.
May 2, 2012 at 11:38 am
Hey how is drinking Coors like having sex in a canoe?
It’s fucking close to water!
But about that cheese thing…I got shit.
May 2, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 2, 2012 at 11:46 am
As a Coloradoan, I apologize for Coors in general.
May 3, 2012 at 9:27 am
I like Coors light
It’s my go-to cheap beer. Granted, the other 90% of my drinking involves a nice local brewery porter.
May 2, 2012 at 12:05 pm
Hey, as a person from the state that invented Cheez Whiz I’m offended that those yellow plastic squares are called cheese.
May 2, 2012 at 8:43 pm
At least Cheez Whiz has the decency to spell it funny so you know it’s not really cheese.
May 2, 2012 at 11:26 am
Wonder if it’s for an arts and Kraft project?
May 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm
More like “farts in Kraft,” for me.
–Lactose Intolerant FJL
May 2, 2012 at 11:27 am
Admit it, April, that’s you in the picture. When not dressed as a rodent or a viking, why not cover yourself in cheese?
May 2, 2012 at 12:38 pm
I’m now hearing Eddie Izzard’s voice in my head saying “I’m covered in cheese!”
May 2, 2012 at 11:28 am
I’ll do it but not if ketchup is included! High fructose corn syrup has no place in my fantasies.
May 2, 2012 at 11:32 am
Heinz has a version called Simply Heinz that’s made with sugar, not HFCS
http://www.heinzketchup.com/Products.aspx
May 2, 2012 at 11:48 am
This changes everything.
May 2, 2012 at 6:32 pm
That more than satisfies my need for healthy nutritious food while still selling out to a massive corporation.
May 3, 2012 at 12:30 am
I think they changed other things a little too though; it’s actually sweeter and not as vinegary. I prefer the regular version.
May 2, 2012 at 11:34 am
Ha – I should’ve read this before posting!
May 2, 2012 at 8:45 pm
For me it’s that the idea of combining Kraft singles and ketchup makes me nauseous.
May 2, 2012 at 11:28 am
Is it for a Feta-ish?
May 2, 2012 at 11:29 am
I am just putting this out there…. i would do it.
May 2, 2012 at 11:49 am
Don’t worry, you’re not the only woman who probably just got disheartened to learn it wasn’t in driving distance.
That sounds like the easiest $300 I could ever make.
Assuming that I wasn’t killed after, anyway.
May 2, 2012 at 1:43 pm
…or grilled
May 2, 2012 at 11:29 am
Smile! Say “cheese” for the camera!
Someone took that saying to a whole new level LOL
May 2, 2012 at 11:29 am
“Anyone who has a problem with this is just lactose intolerant.”
…………….Or that person is a blatent CHEESIST!
May 2, 2012 at 11:30 am
I dunno, I’d have to know more about what kind of cheese slices I’d be covered in. American? Cliché, but sure. Cheddar? Sharp and classic, I like that. Don’t you start talking to me about Swiss though, no self-respecting person would be caught dead draped in modesty-defeating dairy like Swiss.
May 2, 2012 at 2:13 pm
I’m up for Lorraine Swiss. A little daring but still covered.
May 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm
And it has all those little peek-a-boo holes…not too revealing, just enough of a tease.
May 2, 2012 at 11:32 am
I don’t mind the cheese, but I draw the limit at the ketchup!
God, she looks so creepily happy…that picture kinda freaks me out. She’s like Pizza Hut’s new Dominatrix lovers stuffed Pizza.
May 2, 2012 at 11:36 am
I think this was Anne Hathaway’s audition for Catwoman. (look at the mouth and nose, awfully similar!)
“You? As Catwoman?!?! BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
“Look, if you give me the part, I’ll cover myself in cheese slices and squirt ketchup all over me. Deal?”
“Deal.”
May 2, 2012 at 11:44 am
Yes! Those totally look like Hathaway’s chompers!
May 3, 2012 at 1:34 am
Thank you for clearing up how she landed the Catwoman role. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me how she landed it.
May 2, 2012 at 11:34 am
I like the cheese eye patch.
May 2, 2012 at 11:35 am
Cheese for $10 a minute. I volunteer. I volunteer as tribute, er, cheese-bute.
May 2, 2012 at 11:35 am
“Okay. I’m covered in cheese…now what?”
….mumble…
“What did you say about a weiner?”
May 2, 2012 at 11:36 am
God bless Australians, being upside down all the time makes the blood pool in their brains. It explains this and so much else.
May 2, 2012 at 11:37 am
Hmmm…sounds like my friend. He did a shoot with about 120 cans of Bushs’s Baked Beans.
May 2, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Is your friend Anne Margret, from the Who’s “Tommy”?
May 2, 2012 at 1:35 pm
I think I have that album somewhere. Very disturbing to find that as a child (when it first came out and one of my siblings bought it). Sure, THEY can cover themselves with baked beans, but I try to play murder victim with the ketchup and there’s hell to pay!
May 2, 2012 at 11:38 am
May 2, 2012 at 11:50 am
This belongs everywhere.
May 2, 2012 at 12:06 pm
You get all of my leftover love today. It’s not much because I just made a margarita with my new Ninja blender, but it’s something, and you get it!
May 2, 2012 at 11:41 am
Thanks for your interest. We have a winner.
May 2, 2012 at 11:46 am
My kids listen to the audiobook of that all the time, it’s awesome!!!
May 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm
I think my mom gave me this book when I was 16, I still have it and it is still FREAKING HILARIOUS.
May 2, 2012 at 10:35 pm
Holy crap, I’d forgotten all about that book. I don’t think I’ve seen a copy in 15 years.
May 2, 2012 at 11:50 am
This is going to be Gouda…
May 2, 2012 at 11:51 am
Can we have a Regretsy contest in which FJLs cover their heads and faces with processed cheese food slices?
May 2, 2012 at 11:54 am
For free? I want $10 per minute!
May 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm
Does deli sliced mozzarella count? That’s all I have! My hatred for American squares has hurt me today.
May 2, 2012 at 1:10 pm
I’m not clear—do we just do it for the havarti of it in our own time, or are we supposed to take photos and post? ‘Cause some of us may already have such photos. Maybe. It’s a possibility.
May 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Mugsy! You promised you’d never mention that!
May 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Steamy, relax! I didn’t say I’d show them to anyone! Oh, wait, is today tne 2nd? Wow. Mortgage payment and maintenance due AGAIN? T$k, t$k. My, how the time flie$.
May 2, 2012 at 11:51 am
..and then what? Isn’t it sketchier without knowing why? I kind of want to do it to find out.
May 2, 2012 at 11:53 am
In all seriousness, I now have a craving for American cheese. But not in a wierd way.
May 2, 2012 at 11:54 am
Talk about cheesy!
May 2, 2012 at 11:57 am
I had a cheese slice on my hamburger last night, so this just makes me feel like a swallowed a pube or something D:
May 2, 2012 at 11:57 am
“Seeking Cheese Woman” sounds like a movie title, like “Finding Neverland” only horribly, horribly wrong.
May 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm
The sequel to “Crouching Burger, Hidden Cheese”?
May 2, 2012 at 11:57 am
Uh-oh. Cheese man is real?
May 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm
GILES: Somehow our joining with Buffy and invoking the essence of the Slayer’s power was an affront to the source of that power.
BUFFY: You know, you could have brought that up to us *before* we did it.
GILES: I did. I said there could be dire consequences.
BUFFY: Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast.
…
BUFFY: Well, at least you all didn’t dream about that guy with the cheese. I don’t know where the hell that came from.
(Yeah, so that was my all-time-favorite episode… still had to go look it up.)
May 2, 2012 at 11:57 am
I wonder if the deal includes Cheesehead? If so, he needs to visit Wisconsin.
May 2, 2012 at 11:59 am
Meh. That’s not even real cheese … it’s “cheese food”. That’ll cost extra.May 2, 2012 at 12:03 pm
Oh lord, this is in my state. I can be there in 3 hours but I doubt I’d ever be coming back.
May 2, 2012 at 12:06 pm
It’s a shame I’m about as far away from Melbourne as one can possibly get. This looks like fun easy money, especially since the Australian dollar is worth more than the US dollar right now.
May 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm
You know, this isn’t a half bad idea for a food fetish photo. It could be even more interesting if photographed under hot lights.
May 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm
My sex life needs some change to it. I’ll ask my husband if he wants me to do this. Too bad I don’t live in AUS.
May 2, 2012 at 12:16 pm
I would do this, but it would take a lot longer than 30 minutes.
May 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm
For $300 I might do it, but it would take more than $300 worth of cheese.
May 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm
It looks like some of the cheese slices have started to melt. Which makes me think that she is screaming instead of laughing, and the guy wants to eat her (not in the pleasant way).
However, I am guessing that the guy (I am just assuming it is a guy) probably is just interested in sploshing.
Unfortunately, the ad was taken down when I tried to view it on Gumtree.
May 2, 2012 at 1:17 pm
I’m just bemused because he has apparently already had at least one cheese woman.
May 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm
When I first saw the link on fb, I thought “Too bad, I’m already taken!” (Wisconsinite) So glad I clicked over- I just threw up in my mouth a little. Especially at the slightly melted part on her collar bone. Ew.
May 2, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Cheesus wrapped!
May 2, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Job Type: Casual.
Well, sure.
May 2, 2012 at 12:47 pm
“Hey thanks for answering the ad. We really appreciate it. So if you want to make yourself at home, you can just start covering yourself with these lovely Kraft singles whenever you feel ready. Would you like something to drink? We have bottled water and Fresca. If you’re feeling peckish you can help yourself to anything in the fridge.”
May 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm
…or to anything on your left arm.”
May 2, 2012 at 12:40 pm
She seems really happy about the ketchup. I wish ketchup made me that happy.
May 2, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Ketchup has natural mellowing agents.
May 2, 2012 at 8:20 pm
Prairie Home Companion for the win. I wonder what percentage of snarky regretsians also love Garrison Keillor’s G rated stylings. I would think “small”, but maybe not…
May 2, 2012 at 8:52 pm
I only listen to it if I’m in a car with my dad.
May 3, 2012 at 9:13 am
I might find him funny if his voice didn’t sooth me to sleep.
May 3, 2012 at 9:57 am
doesn’t the fricative tooth whistle wake you up?
May 2, 2012 at 12:41 pm
I live in Melbourne…& $300 would pay for a good night of drinking…but nothing says “crazy axe-weilding murderer with a cheese fetish” like advertising on Gumtree for a cheese woman or whatever this is. Oh…& I have the flu.
May 2, 2012 at 12:51 pm
I’ll bring my own cheese.
May 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Great. Now I’ve got Wallace stuck in my head saying, “Cheese, Gromit!” and “What’s wrong with Wensleydale?” alternating with the Monty Python Cheese Shop sketch. I hate the voices in my head.
May 2, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Broke my heart at the end of A Close Shave when Wallace discovered the Wendolene didn’t like cheese.
May 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm
that Wendolene…
I’m sure there was more than one in that world
May 2, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Mine, too. Heartless, cheese-hating bitch. I’d date Wallace, but I draw the line at sharing my yarn stash with Gromit.
May 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I’m with you on both counts!
May 2, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Crackers, Gromit! We’ve forgotten the crackers!
May 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm
When I first saw the title I read it as “Seeking Chinese Woman”. I read the and the comments, and the entire time wondering where her being Chinese was mentioned. Turns out it was my brain’s way of making a more logical statement out of “Seeking Cheese Woman”.
May 2, 2012 at 1:16 pm
*read the AD and the comment
May 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Until I got to your comment I was also wondering why no one was picking up on the Chinese part of this. You’re not alone!
May 2, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 2, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Damn it. Why does that work, but real replies won’t go through?
May 2, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Yeah, yeah, it’s all fun and games until he pulls out the can of tomato soup and the 5.5 foot long panini maker,,,,,
May 2, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Certain words used in replies cause the replies to become invisible. If you’re lucky, the replies appear later with those words changed.
Helen and Bronc do this, apparently because certain words offend them. I’m not entirely sure where the list of words is.
Happened to me yesterday. Lightning did not strike me down, but it was confusing for a while.
May 2, 2012 at 6:18 pm
There might be a list in the rules or guidelines, somewhere. I have noticed they don’t like people posting “First”, they don’t like that LOLcat language and “methinks” will always get crossed out. Not sure how they feel about that Pony language. Profanity is encouraged. Creative profanity is appreciated. Older phrases, like “I just threw up in my mouth a little” often bring disdain. Finnish is greeted warmly. Fake Finnish as well. Swearing creatively using English, Finnish or Fake Finnish is best.
Hope it helps.
May 3, 2012 at 9:24 am
Also LOL by itself is frequently removed. Basically, go to the Cheezeburger website and scroll through those comments. See all the stupidity? Keep it there. Don’t bring it here.
Didn’t do that? Back off the refresh button and calm down. Have a drink. It’ll all sort itself out soon.
May 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm
But how do the slices stay on? With ketchup? Yeah, let me just squirt this stuff all over you and stick these cheese slices on, that’ll be just perfect.
May 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Joke’s on you. It’ll take $300 worth of shampoo to get all the cheese out of your hair.
May 2, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Not to mention the plumbing bill to get the cheese out of the drain. Explaining that one to the plumber would be… interesting…
May 2, 2012 at 10:30 pm
Now why am I hearing 70s porn music in the bacground – cheesy music of course.
May 3, 2012 at 9:27 am
Wait. landcfan,are those euphemisms? They are, aren’t they? I might be confused. Somebody get me a drink!
May 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm
They were not intended to be, but looking back on it, it certainly can have a double meaning.
May 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm
I’d offer to do it since I live in Melbourne, but the texture of that “cheese” is far too weird D:
Also, I’ve heard of wearing one’s food, but that’s ridiculous.
May 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm
a lacto-vegetarian’s rebuttal to Lady Gaga ?
May 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm
I’ll see your one rubber-and-boot-wearing octogenarian, and raise you a cheese-encrusted overly-happy female.
What do you call a woman with a cheese fetish? A DAIRY QUEEN!
May 2, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Wow, I’m going to Melbourne in a couple of weeks too, here’s a way to pay for my trip! Alas, I’m allergic to cheese slices – it’s the rubber content.
(I wish he wanted men though, my BF said he’d do this in an instant. He has no respect for cheese, and weird food/smells/people don’t bother him.)
May 2, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Hmm, my city and I need the cash but – he’d probably spend $300 on the cheese in an attempt to cover this FJL body.
May 2, 2012 at 5:56 pm
You guys, I live in Melbourne and will gladly let some guy stick cheese on me for money, also I’m such a hopeless loser I’m always on the look out for new friends. Stay tuned for pictures.
May 2, 2012 at 6:11 pm
I’m just picturing scraping all that shit off when the fun and games are over. $300 isn’t going to cut it.
May 2, 2012 at 6:42 pm
For $300 I would do this…
Maybe that makes me a whore…don’t know.
May 2, 2012 at 7:08 pm
I wonder how many slices he’s prepared to lay down (heeheehee!) ’cause I’m a, ahem, well-built lady and I do like Kraft Cheeze singles.
May 2, 2012 at 10:45 pm
This is reminding me of a time back in the heyday of myspace when I was messaged by someone with the username ‘PeeOnMe4Cash’. At least he got straight to the point.
May 2, 2012 at 11:27 pm
That’s very cheesy entertainment.
May 3, 2012 at 2:50 am
Hmmm, definitely must consider this as a good way to fund my next short film. About time some fuckery came to Melbourne!
May 3, 2012 at 7:39 am
This is really weirding me out. I guess I’m just not quite used to this breed of Kraft-tard.
May 5, 2012 at 11:47 am
Thumbs up for you posting a photo of a pony playing drums… I can’t figure out how Pinkie Pie is holding that drumstick with her hoof though.
May 3, 2012 at 10:38 am
If I wasn’t married . . .
May 4, 2012 at 1:37 am
Hi folks, I’m the guy who placed the ad (seriously). I had no idea until now that it had been re-posted elsewhere, but honestly, reading through these comments has given me some of the best laughs I’ve ever had. Thanks so much guys.
May 5, 2012 at 11:48 am
Why am I suddenly hungry for Velveeta Mac n Cheese?