I like it too, in a creepy, scientific kind of way, but it does seem like kind of an odd choice for a shower gift. “Best wishes on your adorable little bundle of meat!”
I actually really like it, and I would totally buy it for a friend’s baby shower…but I hang out with sick weirdos, including a funeral director, so there you go. Also, getting featured on Regretsy is probably the quickest way to sell your stuff.
I bought a whole set of that seller’s Bunny Menace magnets. I got Henry VIII and his wives as bunnies. They are currently on my fridge and I laugh at them daily.
The heck with the derp. Does the fact that they are now moving on to vintage (or vinatage if one likes) barn ROOFING mean that the supply of barn wood is dwindling?? What will happen if it is? Would Etsy survive? How would hobos have their weddings? Stay tuned for answers to these and other questions.
I would eat my hat if that wasn’t a reseller. Nothing says Chinese sweat shop like poor spelling. For example the “iPod” originally to be spelled “IPod”.
i dont know if this gives me a headache.. a couple of these are appropriate.. i kind of think the wood sign is perfect. its ironic in that it doesn’t really have clarity…. just claity.
and the words on that guitar pick sure are failing.
Am I the only one that can’t see the typo in the wall decal? I see that they didn’t include the ” ‘ ” in haven’t and don’t, but there HAS to be something I’m not seeing!!! I’m fearing all this internet stuff is ruining my knowledge of spelling and grammar!
Although, there’s also a derp with the comma – if we’re going to be proper about it, it should be, “Some people don’t believe in heroes, but they haven’t met my dad!”
The entire thing is derpy, though – with the change in font and all. So it’s less where the derp is than where it isn’t.
Also, er, when would you put this up? Who would you be impressing? Mom? Or would it be better as an office decoration? What if Dad was the personnel director? Or janitor?
Or is it supposed to be a gift FOR DAD? Then is would be referring to Grandpa?
I’m going to go pour some more Two-Buck Chuck now.
I, too, am on the fence about this one being a derp. The apostrophes aren’t really doing it for me (I can write that off as a stylistic choice, since they’re not used on either contraction). My biggest complaint about it is that heroes aren’t fictitious. It SHOULD read superheroes, not heroes.
Most grammar is stylistic choices. That’s why Stunk and White wrote The Elements of Style, not Hard and Fast Rules of Grammar.
Personally, if I had a good reason to leave out the apostrophes, I think I would have left out the exclamation mark, so the sentence had no punctuation. I’m an all or nothing kind of girl.
Does the seller have any idea how many people in this world have NO apostrophes, but pray every night that the grammar fairy will deliver unto them an apostrophe. Even a spare comma would be appreciated. THEY DON’T ASK FOR MUCH, CAN’T YOU HELP??
Spellcheck isn’t infallible. When I auto-spellchecked an X-Files fanfic when I was, oh, fourteen or so, it changed all instances of “Mulder” to “Murder” even though I’d added Mulder to the dictionary.
I remember my 3th birthday. There was lots of funcky musjc. It was held in a vinatage garden, and I wore a sequinced dress (which, by the way, was difficult to luander).
(whoops, hit post too soon, sorry for the double post)
Also, when I list on eBay, if I use “sequince,” “sequence,” or “sequance” as keywords when I’m selling something with sequins, it gets at LEAST double the views and bids than for those that I just use “sequins”. it hurts. it hurts so much. sometimes I can’t bring myself to do it, even if it means a few extra bucks.
I used to work at Hobby Lobby and I was shocked at the number of people that would ask where the “sequence” were. On my first or second day I had an exchange something like this:
Customer Lady: Hey, can you tell me where the sequence are?
Me: The what?
CL: The sequence. You know? Sequence?
Me: *baffled* Sequence of what?
CL: You don’t know what sequence are? The little round things, kind of like rhinestones but very flat? Though if you’re too stupid to know what sequence are you probably don’t know what rhinestones are either.
Me: *puzzling over it for a minute and trying to politely ignore the stupid comment* Oh! Sequins? They’re 3 aisles down on your left.
CL: What?! What the hell is a sequin? No! Sequence! You should be fired. How do you get a job in a craft store if you don’t even know basics like what a sequence is? *walks away muttering about how I must be part of some “stupid program” to hire “morons and mongoloids”.
Intractably Bumptious Thuggery
May 1, 2012 at 7:28 pm
You get a thumbs up for not laughing your ass off in that fucktard’s face.
“What? You don’t know what sequence are? I need them for my daughter’s 3th birthday. How do you get a job in a craft store if you can’t speak with any claity?!?!”
I love that the guitar pick is a “gift for him.” Because women don’t play guitar. Just men. Sorry, Joan Jett. Ani Difranco. Dar Williams. Lita Ford. Nancy Wilson. Kaki King. You don’t qualify for gift of guitar pick.
When I was minister, someone bought me a box of custom printed guitar picks. But instead of saying “Pastor Dan” they said “Bastard Dan”. I was never really convinced it was an honest mistake.
For a moment I thought you said “when I was a mister.” Although I suppose that would make just as much sense. When you were a mister, people gave you “gifts for him,” but now that you’re not, they don’t anymore.
There’s always one or two items in the derp round-up where I think “Oh, that’s just sad… if it wasn’t for that…”
The Sequinced is one of those, although the item itself does not actually say “Sequinced” so you could just ignore the spelling and order it anyway…
The Vinataged is the saddest one, cause it’s a cute idea, BUt it’s upsadcle
as in “the seller ACTUALLY made it into something else, that’s kind of cute, instead of just trying to sell you a chunk of un-altered garbage from a roofing job, but then she accidentally ruined it with a typo, and it’s clearly a typo cause she spelled it right in the listing, and the saddest part is she probably won’t notice it till she checks her traffic and sees “regretsy” on there.”
I’m not totally certain this was actually made by the seller – If this were a “unique” item, why would “Wholesalers” be welcome?? How much “recycled barn
roofing” do they have, and who is printing out the “vinyl letters”?
I may be in a sugar coma from shoveling too much Nutella into my maw, but is the thing with the decal the missing apostrophes? Maybe they’re subbing as quotation marks somewhere. Gotta make extra dough anywhere you can.
I couldn’t figure it out either, but then again, that has got to be the worst misuse of Waltograph font I have ever laid eyes on. ’3th’ is essentially illegible. I can’t blame anyone for not seeing it.
Also, the other font is Comic Sans. AKA: The ugliest and most poorly designed font ever created in the history of ever. This entire thing is a Graphic Design 101 fail… not to mention copyright infringement.
I finally figured it out, but only after rejecting “3PH” and even “3PY”. It’s so illegible (and the Arial 3 is so very non-matching).
There’s nothing wrong with Comic Sans as a font. It was very well designed for its purpose, which was to make children’s early-learning textbooks “friendly” and easy to read. I’d say it suits a young child’s birthday invitation, too — but it doesn’t mix well with the Disneyesque font.
The only thing wrong with Comic Sans (like Papyrus and Copperplate) is a lot of people getting hold of the font and using it where it’s utterly inappropriate.
And they’re going to get a digital file of “cupcake toppers”. For $12, they have to provide they’re own card stock and printer ink. Who knows what the fuck the “cupcake toppers” are.
Well crap I thought it was for the free cupcake toppers when the invitation is being sent as a digital file. As in I WILL MAIL YOU STUFF ANYWAY kind of free.
The party invitation doesn’t seem too derpy. What am I missing? The strange symbols on the right ear? The space that migrated from before “August” to after “Birthday”? Inappropriate capitalization of “Party”?
That strange space you are seeing is actually one of the many things so wrong about Comic Sans. It has terrible kerning and tracking. It’s just a crappy font that should never be used for anything ever.
Shortly after I got engaged I started hanging out on a wedding forum. I remember the first time I saw someone say her dress had “sequence.” People wanted advice on what orderves to serve and second-guessed their choice of boutineer. My tongue became sore from me biting it so much. I got the hell out of there.
I’m very sad that the wall plaque has been taken down I was going to buy that. I love having stuff like that up on my cube wall to confuse people who stand around waiting for me to figure things out.
I thought the fetus necklace thing was a stained glass window at first. I was having real trouble wrapping my mind around someone inserting that in their front door, but then I thought what a cunning way to welcome the wandering evangelists to a home. Obviously, there is a niche market that needs to be filled.
I have to admit, the Funcky chick’s anatomical pieces are really really creepy, but I am definitely considering getting some of her Confucius bunny magnets.
Care to share how that particular item made it all the way to a sale page? I always wonder if people notice their mistakes, and think “oh, hell, somebody will buy it without noticing”, or do they not ever notice.
I actually think it’s the font. I plan on checking later. I always hated the “i” in that set. However, I’m totally cool being labeled a derp by Regretsy!
I have sold eleventy billion of those copper picks and surprisingly, not one person has mentioned it! Which is amazing, because it clearly looks like a misspelling.
That said, after I photographed the pick for the listing, I started using a font a bit smaller than the one shown. But still, it truly is amazeballs that no one has called me out on that yet!
Intractably Bumptious Thuggery
May 1, 2012 at 7:42 pm
I saw this a while back when I was making a music themed treasury. I though about convoing you for a split second, then didn’t. I was pretty sure you’d tell me to fuck off. haha!
I quite like the pick. Assumed it was just an odd font.
Incidentally, when I lived in Scotland some folk used to pronounce the letter ‘J’ as ‘jie’ (to rhyme with ‘guy’). Never did figure out why, but I guess that would make this a great gift for a guitar-playing Scotsman!
No, I saw it. But it pisses me off less than their inability to center an entire block of text.
Plus I’ve worked with people for whom English is a second language and who slipped up on the rd/th thing, so I’m used to it. It is kind of one of those weird English things.
The entire design pisses me off. I want to vomit all over it. It’s absolutely atrocious. Everything that possibly could have been done wrong about it was. I really hate that people can download bootleg copies of Photoshop and a few free fonts and suddenly they think they’re graphic design gurus.
To be fair, I don’t think “Vinatage Garden” is actually painted on the planter. I think it’s meant to be a sort of watermark, the kind you see shops using to avoid their photos being stolen. So it wouldn’t be on your item, but you’d know you bought it from a derper.
I never realized how much I wanted a pendant with a bisected pregnant woman on it until I saw this. Not only that, but I have the perfect chain to go with the ‘fancy jumpring.’ I had no option, I had to buy it.
I don’t really see much derp in the heroes decal. It’s clear they’re missing apostrophes, but I think that’s sorta intentional due to the tight kerning. I wouldn’t do it, but then I don’t go “eww just wrong” when I see it (grammatically).
On the other hand, the Minnie thing…
What are they selling? Cake toppers and an image they already provided over the Internet in the example? I’m guessing some people don’t have Photoshop. Or maybe it’s much cheaper to send cake toppers through the mail than a few fucking pieces of goddamn paper.
I’m also somewhat afraid to ask what the “H” in 3YH means…but maybe “three years hot” is just where my mind goes after too much Regretsy.
I think the derp is that they just got a photo and wrote the saying on it in photoshop, then all the ‘splainin’ about what you get is nothing like the photo. Derrrrp
I spent about five minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with the guitar pick, and was beginning to settle on the asterisk looking like an anus on the bottom of the pick, before I FINALLY noticed the misspelling. I am somewhat relieved.
NO all around. I can’t stand it. My job is about making the world a more grammatically correct place (among other things). My boss told me today that “as a leader in Language Arts, you need to start engaging with the national community about our position on English Language Arts ‘issues.’”
So, obviously, I decided to post this as my inaugural post. And all I have to say is NO NO NO NO NO and NO. And “vinatage.” And, the apostrophe matters (kerning be damned!).
PatronSaintofQualityFootwear
May 2, 2012 at 6:34 am
The sequinced veil-maker managed to earn a BFA in Fashion Design (with a concentration in evening wear) from Parsons without ever learning how to deal with the word sequined? Seems like that word in particular would’ve come up on an hourly basis.
The maker of the baby pendant has got a bunch of great stuff in their shop!!! The beheaded queens, bunny queens, and brain eating geishas are sweet! I wish I could afford to buy some of your stuff!!
As a sad example of how tired I am, I read ‘sequinced’ as a combination of ‘sequins’ and ‘wince’, and couldn’t figure out why the veil was so horrible.
Then the grammar fairy appeared and slapped me back into consciousness. Thanks, grammar fairy!
May 1, 2012 at 10:29 am
These are all really great, but I especially love the horrifyingly anatomically correct cross section of a pregnant cadaver pendant. Congratulations!
May 1, 2012 at 11:30 am
I actually love the pendant, but I also aspired to become a pathologist, so there is that.
May 1, 2012 at 11:37 am
I like it too, in a creepy, scientific kind of way, but it does seem like kind of an odd choice for a shower gift. “Best wishes on your adorable little bundle of meat!”
May 1, 2012 at 12:48 pm
“Congratulations on your impending birth! THIS IS WHAT YOU WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I CUT YOU IN HALF RIGHT NOW.”
May 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm
What, did the buzz saw miss baby altogether? Or is this baby superman and the blade has no effect on him?
May 1, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Beefy meat bundles…hehehehe
May 1, 2012 at 8:11 pm
I think “beefy meat bundles” are how she got pregnant in the first place…
May 1, 2012 at 11:47 am
I think it’s cool too, but not in a “Happy Baby Shower” way. More like a “Good Luck On Your Autopsy” present.
May 1, 2012 at 7:55 pm
But can she make them for women who are expecting multiples? I mean, if you’re expecting twins or triplets, you’ll have to buy more than one.
May 1, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Nothing says “I love you to death” like that does.
May 1, 2012 at 5:36 pm
It’s actually my shop. I’m not certain how to feel about being featured on regretsy…
Yay?
May 1, 2012 at 5:48 pm
I actually really like it, and I would totally buy it for a friend’s baby shower…but I hang out with sick weirdos, including a funeral director, so there you go. Also, getting featured on Regretsy is probably the quickest way to sell your stuff.
May 1, 2012 at 7:19 pm
LOL hey it’s traffic? and it is a pretty awesome pendant. but I also like Jason Frenny’s work if that says anything.
May 1, 2012 at 7:35 pm
I really like it, so, I say congrats on the feature.
Was the funcky meant to be an homage to fuckery, since you’re here and all? Because that’s how I originally read it.
May 1, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Just a play on my last name. It seemed like a good idea at the time…
May 2, 2012 at 5:42 am
I’ll go with that.
I’m always willing to give the benefit of the doubt for unusual spellings in a shop name.
May 1, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Since it seems that half of Regretsy wanted to buy your featured item after seeing it? Yes, that’s a yay!
May 1, 2012 at 5:58 pm
I bought a whole set of that seller’s Bunny Menace magnets. I got Henry VIII and his wives as bunnies. They are currently on my fridge and I laugh at them daily.
May 1, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Thank you!!
May 1, 2012 at 7:35 pm
I love that thing too.
May 1, 2012 at 10:29 am
I ahve a sad.
May 1, 2012 at 10:30 am
The anatomy pendant is horrifying
I might just have to buy it to scare the bajeesus out of any kids I may have in the future
May 1, 2012 at 11:37 am
But it’s complete with fancy jumpring! How can anyone say no to that?
May 1, 2012 at 3:18 pm
No, I want it. Then I can be the Creepy Auntie the kids never want to go visit
May 1, 2012 at 4:30 pm
God dammit. You assholes always buy the good shit before I can get to it.
May 1, 2012 at 6:32 pm
My 11 year would love it. She’s into weird, freaky and funcky.
May 1, 2012 at 10:30 am
i will admit, it took me way too long to find the derp in the last pic…
May 1, 2012 at 2:02 pm
The heck with the derp. Does the fact that they are now moving on to vintage (or vinatage if one likes) barn ROOFING mean that the supply of barn wood is dwindling?? What will happen if it is? Would Etsy survive? How would hobos have their weddings? Stay tuned for answers to these and other questions.
May 1, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Now I feel like I’ve just watched an episode of Batman (the Adam West/ABC series) and am anxiously awaiting tomorrow’s episode!
*sits down in front of television, with a bowl of popcorn*
May 1, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Same derp time, same derp channel!
May 1, 2012 at 11:23 pm
Maybe they could make one with the words “BAM!” “POW” and “SPLAT!!” (or would it be POWE & SLPAT)?
May 1, 2012 at 4:05 pm
I would eat my hat if that wasn’t a reseller. Nothing says Chinese sweat shop like poor spelling. For example the “iPod” originally to be spelled “IPod”.
May 1, 2012 at 7:05 pm
When the barnwood runs out, the barn roof just kind of hits you over the head.
May 1, 2012 at 10:31 am
Derp roundup = instant migraine for me
May 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm
The words “sequince” or “sequence” and an past tense thereof to indicate something has sequins on it automatically starts my eye twitching.
May 1, 2012 at 7:33 pm
i dont know if this gives me a headache.. a couple of these are appropriate.. i kind of think the wood sign is perfect. its ironic in that it doesn’t really have clarity…. just claity.
and the words on that guitar pick sure are failing.
May 2, 2012 at 6:05 pm
So, not a musjc lover?
May 1, 2012 at 10:31 am
Misspellings aside, I do like that veil. Although for $55 they could at least finish the edges.
May 1, 2012 at 10:34 am
It’s hard to sew through sequinces.
May 1, 2012 at 11:07 am
I always wanted a sequenced veil for my wedding, now I know where to get one!
May 1, 2012 at 1:37 pm
And the next one, and the next one…
May 1, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Maybe this was made with Elizabeth Taylor in mind.
May 1, 2012 at 4:43 pm
I’m pretty sure you can buy that veil in the curtain section at IKEA. Yep, got it hanging right here in my living room.
May 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm
I thought it looked like curtain material too.
May 1, 2012 at 10:32 am
Have you ever seen a noggin’ so huge? It’s like Sputnik… HEAD. MOVE. NOW.
May 1, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Just looking at the pendant makes my legs involuntarily clamp the fuck shut.
May 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm
You mean ‘funck’, don’t you?
May 1, 2012 at 7:07 pm
That babby will cry itself to sleep on its huge pilla.
May 1, 2012 at 10:33 am
Am I the only one that can’t see the typo in the wall decal? I see that they didn’t include the ” ‘ ” in haven’t and don’t, but there HAS to be something I’m not seeing!!! I’m fearing all this internet stuff is ruining my knowledge of spelling and grammar!
May 1, 2012 at 10:43 am
I have the same problem, I was wondering if it was in reference to the sizing? Or, as you mentioned, the apostrophes?
May 1, 2012 at 10:43 am
That is the derp, I think.
Although, there’s also a derp with the comma – if we’re going to be proper about it, it should be, “Some people don’t believe in heroes, but they haven’t met my dad!”
The entire thing is derpy, though – with the change in font and all. So it’s less where the derp is than where it isn’t.
Also: derp.
May 1, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Also, er, when would you put this up? Who would you be impressing? Mom? Or would it be better as an office decoration? What if Dad was the personnel director? Or janitor?
Or is it supposed to be a gift FOR DAD? Then is would be referring to Grandpa?
I’m going to go pour some more Two-Buck Chuck now.
May 1, 2012 at 10:58 am
Some people dont believe in GRAMMAR but they havent met A Decent English Teacher!
May 1, 2012 at 11:30 am
I, too, am on the fence about this one being a derp. The apostrophes aren’t really doing it for me (I can write that off as a stylistic choice, since they’re not used on either contraction). My biggest complaint about it is that heroes aren’t fictitious. It SHOULD read superheroes, not heroes.
May 1, 2012 at 11:52 am
Has to be the apostrophes – I don’t see anything else. This is a little (a lot) less egregious than the others.
May 1, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Complete lack o’ apostrophes is derp of the first magnitude.
May 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Agreed.
May 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm
How can bad grammar be a “stylistic choice.” Ohhhh, that’s a slippery slope you’re headed down there!
May 1, 2012 at 7:49 pm
Most grammar is stylistic choices. That’s why Stunk and White wrote The Elements of Style, not Hard and Fast Rules of Grammar.
Personally, if I had a good reason to leave out the apostrophes, I think I would have left out the exclamation mark, so the sentence had no punctuation. I’m an all or nothing kind of girl.
May 2, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Strunk & White. The decal seller was using Stunk & White’s book, which explains alot.*
*I know a lot is two words. I’m betting Stunk doesn’t.
May 3, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Ha ha, my derp!
The seller was definitely (or definately) using the less popular Stunk and White Guide to Writing Good and Doing Other Stuff Good Too.
May 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm
The lack of apostrophes is lazy and bad enough on its own. They aren’t expendable!
May 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Does the seller have any idea how many people in this world have NO apostrophes, but pray every night that the grammar fairy will deliver unto them an apostrophe. Even a spare comma would be appreciated. THEY DON’T ASK FOR MUCH, CAN’T YOU HELP??
/Rejected Sally Struthers commercial
May 1, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Does Sarah Mclachlan sing in the background? May I suggest “Arms of the Admins,” “Bring on the Glitter” or “I Will Resell You.”
May 4, 2012 at 9:23 pm
Th’at, Slay’s, me’.
May 1, 2012 at 6:34 pm
Maybe they are being held hostage and the Dad will save them, thus proving that he is a hero!
May 1, 2012 at 9:08 pm
So in that case “Dad” would actually mean “Bruce Willis”?
May 1, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Besides for the missing apostrophes, the “Dad” shouldn’t have been capitalized in the title.
Teach middle school English for 6 years, be a twitchy grammar asshole forever.
May 1, 2012 at 3:18 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 1, 2012 at 4:00 pm
“Dad” and “mom” and the like are only capitalized when they’re proper nouns: “Dammit, Mom; why can’t you be a cool mom like Regina George’s mom?”
May 1, 2012 at 3:16 pm
I actually googled “heroes” because I thought, maybe I stepped into a universe where they spelled it “hero’s”.
May 1, 2012 at 7:51 pm
Me too, except “heros” not “hero’s”. I always spell potatos wrong, too, though.
Hm, my spell check thinks heros is acceptable.
May 1, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Spellcheck isn’t infallible. When I auto-spellchecked an X-Files fanfic when I was, oh, fourteen or so, it changed all instances of “Mulder” to “Murder” even though I’d added Mulder to the dictionary.
May 1, 2012 at 9:51 pm
Oops, that was supposed to go under #10.
May 1, 2012 at 10:33 am
I remember my 3th birthday. There was lots of funcky musjc. It was held in a vinatage garden, and I wore a sequinced dress (which, by the way, was difficult to luander).
May 1, 2012 at 11:09 am
^ this. Oh yeah.
May 1, 2012 at 11:54 am
I dont remember my 3th birthday, but then I havent had much mental claity lately.
May 1, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Play that funcky musjc, 3th graders! Luander your sequince and play that vinatage musjic but dont cry.
May 1, 2012 at 10:35 am
Cricuts should have built-in spellcheck.
May 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Spell checks do not stop the derp. The derp is strong in some and they will use the derp.
May 1, 2012 at 10:35 am
(whoops, hit post too soon, sorry for the double post)
Also, when I list on eBay, if I use “sequince,” “sequence,” or “sequance” as keywords when I’m selling something with sequins, it gets at LEAST double the views and bids than for those that I just use “sequins”. it hurts. it hurts so much. sometimes I can’t bring myself to do it, even if it means a few extra bucks.
May 1, 2012 at 10:54 am
I used to work at Hobby Lobby and I was shocked at the number of people that would ask where the “sequence” were. On my first or second day I had an exchange something like this:
Customer Lady: Hey, can you tell me where the sequence are?
Me: The what?
CL: The sequence. You know? Sequence?
Me: *baffled* Sequence of what?
CL: You don’t know what sequence are? The little round things, kind of like rhinestones but very flat? Though if you’re too stupid to know what sequence are you probably don’t know what rhinestones are either.
Me: *puzzling over it for a minute and trying to politely ignore the stupid comment* Oh! Sequins? They’re 3 aisles down on your left.
CL: What?! What the hell is a sequin? No! Sequence! You should be fired. How do you get a job in a craft store if you don’t even know basics like what a sequence is? *walks away muttering about how I must be part of some “stupid program” to hire “morons and mongoloids”.
May 1, 2012 at 2:33 pm
I read the end as “morons and marigolds”
I NEED GOLD SEQUENCE PLEASE
May 1, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I feel your pain, fellow retail worker.
May 1, 2012 at 4:44 pm
I used to work as a receptionist and I spent so many hours a day face palming, it’s a wonder I managed to get any work done.
May 1, 2012 at 4:45 pm
You’ve got the right attitude Annie. Want a job in the airline industry?
May 4, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Don’t you mean the right ALTITUDE?
May 1, 2012 at 7:28 pm
You get a thumbs up for not laughing your ass off in that fucktard’s face.
“What? You don’t know what sequence are? I need them for my daughter’s 3th birthday. How do you get a job in a craft store if you can’t speak with any claity?!?!”
May 1, 2012 at 10:40 am
I love that the guitar pick is a “gift for him.” Because women don’t play guitar. Just men. Sorry, Joan Jett. Ani Difranco. Dar Williams. Lita Ford. Nancy Wilson. Kaki King. You don’t qualify for gift of guitar pick.
May 1, 2012 at 11:35 am
When I was minister, someone bought me a box of custom printed guitar picks. But instead of saying “Pastor Dan” they said “Bastard Dan”. I was never really convinced it was an honest mistake.
May 1, 2012 at 2:09 pm
That could be a good stage name – Bastard Dan and the Illegitimates playing tonight at the Roaring Roadhouse!
May 1, 2012 at 4:35 pm
For a moment I thought you said “when I was a mister.” Although I suppose that would make just as much sense. When you were a mister, people gave you “gifts for him,” but now that you’re not, they don’t anymore.
May 1, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 1, 2012 at 3:38 pm
It’s basic sexism. And kinda bullshit. SEO be damned.
May 2, 2012 at 10:17 am
*gasp*
Whiskeypants is a boy!
Hey, man, I really like your blog. Thanx for stickin’ up for us ladies, butches and transgenders!
May 1, 2012 at 7:24 pm
A real girl’s guitar pick would be pink and have a few sequince on it. Duh.
May 1, 2012 at 7:52 pm
Thanks for claiifying that.
May 1, 2012 at 10:03 pm
It’s cos no woman would buy a gold pick to play her musjc with.
May 1, 2012 at 10:42 am
There’s always one or two items in the derp round-up where I think “Oh, that’s just sad… if it wasn’t for that…”
The Sequinced is one of those, although the item itself does not actually say “Sequinced” so you could just ignore the spelling and order it anyway…
The Vinataged is the saddest one, cause it’s a cute idea, BUt it’s upsadcle
as in “the seller ACTUALLY made it into something else, that’s kind of cute, instead of just trying to sell you a chunk of un-altered garbage from a roofing job, but then she accidentally ruined it with a typo, and it’s clearly a typo cause she spelled it right in the listing, and the saddest part is she probably won’t notice it till she checks her traffic and sees “regretsy” on there.”
May 1, 2012 at 1:33 pm
I’m not totally certain this was actually made by the seller – If this were a “unique” item, why would “Wholesalers” be welcome?? How much “recycled barn
roofing” do they have, and who is printing out the “vinyl letters”?
Do they have barn roofing in Bali?
May 1, 2012 at 10:48 am
Musjc speaks, but can it spell?
May 1, 2012 at 11:09 am
No, it can spell. Just a different language. A language that is so similar yet so difference.
May 1, 2012 at 8:31 pm
Can you change the size of the spell?
May 1, 2012 at 10:48 am
I may be in a sugar coma from shoveling too much Nutella into my maw, but is the thing with the decal the missing apostrophes? Maybe they’re subbing as quotation marks somewhere. Gotta make extra dough anywhere you can.
May 1, 2012 at 4:11 pm
Curse you now I need to go out and buy Nutella.
May 1, 2012 at 6:38 pm
What is this “too much” Nutella of which you speak?
May 1, 2012 at 10:55 am
It took me 5 minutes to get the Minnie Invitation one… Derp.
That stupid Disney font impairs my brain I guess.
May 1, 2012 at 10:58 am
I’m derping out. What is the Minnie derp?
May 1, 2012 at 11:41 am
It’s for someone’s “3th” birthday party. You know, the one between the “2st” and the “4rd”.
May 1, 2012 at 12:28 pm
And the missing possessive (although, that’s a matter of taste).
And the fact that the seller is probably going to be sued into oblivion by The Mouse if their lawyers can stop laughing long enough to write up a C&D.
May 1, 2012 at 3:35 pm
I couldn’t figure it out either, but then again, that has got to be the worst misuse of Waltograph font I have ever laid eyes on. ’3th’ is essentially illegible. I can’t blame anyone for not seeing it.
Also, the other font is Comic Sans. AKA: The ugliest and most poorly designed font ever created in the history of ever. This entire thing is a Graphic Design 101 fail… not to mention copyright infringement.
May 2, 2012 at 5:58 am
I finally figured it out, but only after rejecting “3PH” and even “3PY”. It’s so illegible (and the Arial 3 is so very non-matching).
There’s nothing wrong with Comic Sans as a font. It was very well designed for its purpose, which was to make children’s early-learning textbooks “friendly” and easy to read. I’d say it suits a young child’s birthday invitation, too — but it doesn’t mix well with the Disneyesque font.
The only thing wrong with Comic Sans (like Papyrus and Copperplate) is a lot of people getting hold of the font and using it where it’s utterly inappropriate.
May 1, 2012 at 9:55 pm
___, 2st, 3th, 4rd. Now I’m really wondering what 1 would be!
May 1, 2012 at 11:40 pm
1nd!
May 2, 2012 at 6:15 pm
And now I’ve broken my fat jealous brain trying to figure out how to pronounce that. Turnd? Firstnd? Oned?
I may have to start actually drinking.
May 1, 2012 at 1:36 pm
And they’re going to get a digital file of “cupcake toppers”. For $12, they have to provide they’re own card stock and printer ink. Who knows what the fuck the “cupcake toppers” are.
Nice profit margin there!
May 1, 2012 at 1:36 pm
OMG! *Their*
May 1, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Well crap I thought it was for the free cupcake toppers when the invitation is being sent as a digital file. As in I WILL MAIL YOU STUFF ANYWAY kind of free.
May 1, 2012 at 3:36 pm
I assumed the cupcake toppers were another digital file.
May 1, 2012 at 10:56 am
The party invitation doesn’t seem too derpy. What am I missing? The strange symbols on the right ear? The space that migrated from before “August” to after “Birthday”? Inappropriate capitalization of “Party”?
Or the $12 price tag on a digital file?
May 1, 2012 at 11:10 am
I dont know why my mom bothered throwing me a birthday party when I was three. But I remember my thirth birthday cake had batman on it.
May 1, 2012 at 11:14 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 1, 2012 at 11:19 am
Haha yeah the “strange symbol” on the right ear was where I got stuck as well. It says 3TH. Took me 5 minutes to recognize it as a T
May 1, 2012 at 1:41 pm
At first I thought it was Hindu.
May 1, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Perhaps the invitation was used as a rough draft for the person making the “claity” plaque?
May 1, 2012 at 12:49 pm
The comic sans…Oh, the comic sans…
May 1, 2012 at 6:52 pm
Omigosh I had the same thought. comic sans should be it’s own category.
May 1, 2012 at 3:40 pm
That strange space you are seeing is actually one of the many things so wrong about Comic Sans. It has terrible kerning and tracking. It’s just a crappy font that should never be used for anything ever.
May 1, 2012 at 11:03 am
I believe they’re referring to the fact that the it’s an invitation for a “3TH” birthday party instead of a “3RD”.
May 1, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Oh, thank you for translating that weird faux-Walt faunxnt.
May 1, 2012 at 11:03 am
Okay. To be fair, maybe the name of Funcky Altered Art is a play on her last name? Funck is a last name.
May 1, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Every one knoes its spelt Funque’.
May 1, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Funkë!
May 1, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Can our Finnish representative please check in with the corrected spelling, please? Does it matter that at Jersey Shore it is spelled Funki ?
May 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm
I read it as “Fucky”. I liked it better that way.
May 1, 2012 at 1:38 pm
That was my first read, too – If Only!
May 1, 2012 at 4:16 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one who read it as Fucky Altered Art.
(And yes, Funck is her last name)
May 1, 2012 at 11:03 am
Shortly after I got engaged I started hanging out on a wedding forum. I remember the first time I saw someone say her dress had “sequence.” People wanted advice on what orderves to serve and second-guessed their choice of boutineer. My tongue became sore from me biting it so much. I got the hell out of there.
May 1, 2012 at 2:14 pm
I like the word “boutineer.” It sounds like a person you pay to toss out the drunks at a place too high class to have a bouncer.
May 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm
But only with pirate-themed parties.
May 1, 2012 at 4:32 pm
And wallah, they had a wedding
May 1, 2012 at 11:11 am
Roases r Read
Violents are Blu
herpity derpity do
and Sew R Yu
May 1, 2012 at 11:22 am
Vinatage sounds like wine for my vagina.
Hey, it’s 5:00 somewhere.
May 1, 2012 at 11:23 am
I prefer Funke Altered Art.
May 1, 2012 at 11:59 am
You win.
May 1, 2012 at 12:20 pm
He looks like he just blue himself.
May 1, 2012 at 11:24 am
Funcky seems like a highly accurate combination of funky (as in, “this dirty sock smells very funky”) and junky, but you know, with a silent ‘c’
May 1, 2012 at 11:43 am
I read it as a portmanteau of “fucking” and “junky” personally.
May 1, 2012 at 11:53 am
If you’re going to ask me to give you money for something at least put in some effort. Proofreading is your friend!
May 1, 2012 at 11:56 am
My thirth birthday was pretty good, but my fourend and fiveth birthdays were better.
May 1, 2012 at 11:59 am
You know, I really should read the replies before posting. I was only like the eightst person to make a comment like that.
May 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm
I’m very sad that the wall plaque has been taken down
I was going to buy that. I love having stuff like that up on my cube wall to confuse people who stand around waiting for me to figure things out.
May 1, 2012 at 7:45 pm
Yes, I was quite disappointed that was gone. I was going to buy it for my Japanese FIL. He could use a little claity.
May 1, 2012 at 12:04 pm
I thought the fetus necklace thing was a stained glass window at first. I was having real trouble wrapping my mind around someone inserting that in their front door, but then I thought what a cunning way to welcome the wandering evangelists to a home. Obviously, there is a niche market that needs to be filled.
May 1, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Sounds awesome to me.
May 1, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Definitely friendly for a “Pro-life” evangelical: “I will keep my baby even if you saw me in half”!
May 1, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Or a niche in the door.
May 1, 2012 at 12:13 pm
I have to admit, the Funcky chick’s anatomical pieces are really really creepy, but I am definitely considering getting some of her Confucius bunny magnets.
May 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm
She has a steampunk octopus pendant too!
May 1, 2012 at 12:15 pm
By ‘Junk’ FX. That sounds about right.
And I’m stuck between desire and horror for that anatomy pendant.
(And, fittingly, I’m not confused about whether I spelt pendant right. Word’s spellcheck is useless.)
May 1, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Sonofabitch….all the items I’ve submitted to Regretsy and now I’M featured. Karma is such a dirty whore.
/glad my guitar pick could make all of you bitches smile.
May 1, 2012 at 1:00 pm
Care to share how that particular item made it all the way to a sale page? I always wonder if people notice their mistakes, and think “oh, hell, somebody will buy it without noticing”, or do they not ever notice.
May 1, 2012 at 1:00 pm
And I don’t mean my request in a snarky way. I’m honestly curious how it happens. You’re obviously not a derp!
May 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm
I actually think it’s the font. I plan on checking later. I always hated the “i” in that set. However, I’m totally cool being labeled a derp by Regretsy!
I have sold eleventy billion of those copper picks and surprisingly, not one person has mentioned it! Which is amazing, because it clearly looks like a misspelling.
May 1, 2012 at 1:21 pm
That said, after I photographed the pick for the listing, I started using a font a bit smaller than the one shown. But still, it truly is amazeballs that no one has called me out on that yet!
May 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Yeah, I thought it was just the font too, which is why I couldn’t figure out why it was a derp.
May 1, 2012 at 7:42 pm
I saw this a while back when I was making a music themed treasury. I though about convoing you for a split second, then didn’t. I was pretty sure you’d tell me to fuck off. haha!
May 1, 2012 at 1:27 pm
And ya know, I sold one earlier…should I contact the buyer to see if they want it done as pictured? Just in case they found me through here?
May 1, 2012 at 6:37 pm
I quite like the pick. Assumed it was just an odd font.
Incidentally, when I lived in Scotland some folk used to pronounce the letter ‘J’ as ‘jie’ (to rhyme with ‘guy’). Never did figure out why, but I guess that would make this a great gift for a guitar-playing Scotsman!
May 1, 2012 at 1:44 pm
You’re a good sport, danjell!
May 1, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Ok I really thought that “heroes dad” one was placed over a toilet. That would make sense for me, since my Dad is a POS.
May 1, 2012 at 12:53 pm
The fucked up alignment on the body of the invitation pisses me off so bad. MOVE IT A FEW PIXELS TO THE RIGHT, FFS. Center the damn thing properly!
God. Now it’s all that I see. I saw it before I saw the unholiness that is Comic Sans.
May 1, 2012 at 1:09 pm
You somehow missed that instead of “3rd” the “artist” put “3th”???
May 1, 2012 at 2:49 pm
No, I saw it. But it pisses me off less than their inability to center an entire block of text.
Plus I’ve worked with people for whom English is a second language and who slipped up on the rd/th thing, so I’m used to it. It is kind of one of those weird English things.
May 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm
The entire design pisses me off. I want to vomit all over it. It’s absolutely atrocious. Everything that possibly could have been done wrong about it was. I really hate that people can download bootleg copies of Photoshop and a few free fonts and suddenly they think they’re graphic design gurus.
(BTW, That Disney mimic font is called Waltograph, you can get it free here: http://www.1001fonts.com/font_details.html?font_id=2272 )
May 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm
You’ve seen that xkcd cartoon about the cruelty of teaching someone to be aware of kerning errors, right?
May 1, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Me too! And I thought I was alone.
May 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm
To be fair, I don’t think “Vinatage Garden” is actually painted on the planter. I think it’s meant to be a sort of watermark, the kind you see shops using to avoid their photos being stolen. So it wouldn’t be on your item, but you’d know you bought it from a derper.
May 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm
It says “with vinyl lettering” in the description.
/hey, I’m all about pointing this shit out. If I got derped, they sure as hell are gettin’ derped too.
May 1, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Freakishly unprofessional and bumptious, if you ask me.
May 1, 2012 at 2:04 pm
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want a necklace with a bisected pregnant woman on it.
May 1, 2012 at 2:17 pm
I kind of wish I was pregnant so I could—
I was about to say buy/wear it without looking weird, but then it occurred to me it would be weird anyway. Oops.
Oh, well. The point is I would totally wear that thing. I think it’s awesome.
May 1, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Some people need to govern themselves a little better.
May 1, 2012 at 4:05 pm
If I were pregnant, I would actually wear that necklace. It’s cool, and it might keep people from touching me!
That I’m willing to overlook the misspelling says how much I like it.
May 1, 2012 at 5:44 pm
I am pregnant and I think that’s a fabulous idea. I may go buy one for that very reason.
May 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm
I never realized how much I wanted a pendant with a bisected pregnant woman on it until I saw this. Not only that, but I have the perfect chain to go with the ‘fancy jumpring.’ I had no option, I had to buy it.
Don’t judge me…
May 1, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Is the chain shaped like an umbilical cord, tell me the chain is shaped like an umbilical cord!
May 1, 2012 at 4:30 pm
I never thought of it, but in all actuality, the chain (diamond-cut rope) does look somewhat like an umbilical cord… only silver.
I could change that with just a little bit of enamel. A touch of red and pink enamel would make the chain thicker and more cord-like.
Now I’m even more excited…
May 1, 2012 at 5:52 pm
The power cord for my old iMac looked EXACTLY like an umbilical cord–clear, with blue and red wires. I can’t be the only one that’s thought that.
May 1, 2012 at 4:41 pm
DAMMIT THAT WAS YOU??? I WANTED THAT THING.
May 1, 2012 at 5:45 pm
There are more in other colors.
May 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Some people don’t believe in English, but they murder it anyway.
*and I think that’s a derp right there but for the life of me I can’t see it.
May 1, 2012 at 6:41 pm
When I saw the “sequince twigs” veil, I thought to myself …isn’t a sequence of twigs a vine? Derp.
May 1, 2012 at 7:19 pm
No, no, no!!! Now I have this song in my head –
play dat funcky musjc whyte boi,
play dat funcky musjc rite
May 1, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Don’t forget this derp, I found it when I was making a treasury:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/96641882/passport-cover-canvas-not-all-those-who
I can’t believe the derp fest on Etsy for that particular quote.
May 1, 2012 at 7:55 pm
That invite is wrong on so many levels my eyes hurt and my brain has a hole burned in it.
Love they byline – Crochet Guevara. I laughed more over that than the derps themselves.
May 1, 2012 at 7:56 pm
UGH
THE byline.
May 1, 2012 at 9:19 pm
$21.00 for a guitar pick? Nugget, please.
May 1, 2012 at 9:58 pm
I don’t really see much derp in the heroes decal. It’s clear they’re missing apostrophes, but I think that’s sorta intentional due to the tight kerning. I wouldn’t do it, but then I don’t go “eww just wrong” when I see it (grammatically).
On the other hand, the Minnie thing…
What are they selling? Cake toppers and an image they already provided over the Internet in the example? I’m guessing some people don’t have Photoshop. Or maybe it’s much cheaper to send cake toppers through the mail than a few fucking pieces of goddamn paper.
I’m also somewhat afraid to ask what the “H” in 3YH means…but maybe “three years hot” is just where my mind goes after too much Regretsy.
May 1, 2012 at 10:23 pm
I think the derp is that they just got a photo and wrote the saying on it in photoshop, then all the ‘splainin’ about what you get is nothing like the photo. Derrrrp
May 2, 2012 at 2:23 am
Is that a “Y”? I was under the impression that it’s a “T”, like they wrote “3th” instead of “3rd”
May 2, 2012 at 6:06 am
Missing apostrophes = misspelling. Tight kerning is no excuse.
May 1, 2012 at 10:59 pm
I spent about five minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with the guitar pick, and was beginning to settle on the asterisk looking like an anus on the bottom of the pick, before I FINALLY noticed the misspelling. I am somewhat relieved.
May 1, 2012 at 10:59 pm
NO all around. I can’t stand it. My job is about making the world a more grammatically correct place (among other things). My boss told me today that “as a leader in Language Arts, you need to start engaging with the national community about our position on English Language Arts ‘issues.’”
So, obviously, I decided to post this as my inaugural post. And all I have to say is NO NO NO NO NO and NO. And “vinatage.” And, the apostrophe matters (kerning be damned!).
May 2, 2012 at 6:08 am
Is a vinatage garden a place where you plant vines?
May 2, 2012 at 6:34 am
The sequinced veil-maker managed to earn a BFA in Fashion Design (with a concentration in evening wear) from Parsons without ever learning how to deal with the word sequined? Seems like that word in particular would’ve come up on an hourly basis.
May 2, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Thought I would share!
http://www.etsy.com/teams/7722/business-topics/discuss/10234221/
May 2, 2012 at 4:00 pm
What the? I don’t think the nasty convos were necessary, but her blatant misuse of apostrophes may send me to therapy.
May 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm
The maker of the baby pendant has got a bunch of great stuff in their shop!!! The beheaded queens, bunny queens, and brain eating geishas are sweet! I wish I could afford to buy some of your stuff!!
May 2, 2012 at 4:48 pm
As a sad example of how tired I am, I read ‘sequinced’ as a combination of ‘sequins’ and ‘wince’, and couldn’t figure out why the veil was so horrible.
Then the grammar fairy appeared and slapped me back into consciousness. Thanks, grammar fairy!
July 22, 2012 at 5:55 pm
That anatomy thing is terrifying. Thanks for helping solidify my decision to never have kids!