- Click here for more photos of whatever the hell this is
As a joke, I showed this to my girlfriend. She’s calling the cops on me for domestic abuse as we speak because I “made her look.”
So curiosity got the better of me and I looked at the rest of the images on his website. All I can say is http://eyebleach.com/.
Also, it’s a good idea not to look at the guy’s website in a jail cell. The other inmates get the WRONG idea.
http://mindbleach.org/ is what I actually meant. Bleh. Oh well. Take your pick. Boobs or guys or kittens. A little something for everyone.
Just no oversized codpieces.
Hmm, I wonder if I can turn off italics by commenting here
That would be a no, then!
I tried it, too.
What’s almost as disturbing as the obvious in these photos are the creepy things in the background of the kitchen shot and the “dungeon” (unfinished basement I suppose) pix. Check out the weird rubber man and the framed illustrations showing what appears to be odd sex-acts… (Oh, and gotta love the ant bait next to the stove… probably not the ONLY bugs he’s had…)
I have to question his taste in interior decor. Not only because the only way he can express “manly” is with unfinished lumber but every piece of artwork in his house is a Tom of Finland print. I mean one TOF print of a leather daddy in chaps with a giant hard dick, sure, but a whole house full?
He must have a very select crowd over for his Tupperware parties and bible studies.
“Before we go on up, here’s an early view of my erotic art gallery. Over the years, there’ve quiite a few works that I really admired, but had left in the drawers of my map chest. I bid on two or three other pieces that seemed to speak to me, through the auspices of the Tom of Finland Foundation. You’ll be spared (or deprived, as you prefer) of any closeups of explicit images, but they really do add to the character of the room! The one work already hung in this photo is called, appropriately enough, Stairway.”
From this page:
No, no, not unfinished lumber, it’s “pre-vintage” barnwood.
If any of his Tom Of Finland work is original then it’s worth a small fortune.
Don’t hold your breath. I would bet on the majority being jprints. Maybe he might have one original due to being a fan, he may have splurged to buy an original at some point. TOF has lots of prints on the market, and I figure many large collections are carefully tucked away never to see the light of day outside of their masterbatorium.
Love how his camo green outfit blends with the crock pot! I’m big into color coordinating when I cook too!!!
Gotta love the family heirloom grandfather clock next to the sex swing. Though, the page was “last updated” in 2002….
…you were able to look at anything else but that bulge?!?
Kudos to you. When I was able to tear my eyes away, I scrolled like the wind.
Something tells me it’s not as big as he thinks it is.
I kinda really like this guy and want to invite him to my next party. And his facial expression is the same in every photo, it’s making me think he’s some kind of action doll.
And he’s so domestic too! Imagine his vacuuming outfit . . . .
Well, those rubber boots mean that he’s ready do do some fishing or maybe dig out the septic field…erotically, of course.
Wait, why is a Cardassian wearing rubber overalls?
I was thinking the same thing
Exactly! I’m enough of a Trekkie that the thing that I kept wondering was “Why the Cardassian face mask?”
Probably some Bajoran Occupation roleplay, huh?
Bad Cardassian! Submit to The Prophets!
I call shenanigans. Cardassians are clearly exclusively tops
But who knows what they do in the privacy of their own sleeping quarters? A lot of bottoms are pretty toppish in their daily lives!
Yeah, I’d be into that if I could cosplay the Entendant (it’s the alternate universe DS9 for those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, and you probably still don’t).
Good, I’m not alone. I kept staring thinking, “why is this somehow familiar” and then I realized, oh thank goodness, its just the Cardassian mask. The rest of it is somewhat disturbing.
I am enough of a Trekkie, and comfortable enough with role-playing to be unfazed by the mask, that I immediately thought, “Cardassians have normal 5-fingered hands, somebody didn’t do their homework.” I was proud of my superior attention to fannish detail.
Then I scrolled down and saw hillbilly leatherman. Now I’m just confused.
When I first read this I thought you were misspelling Kardashian.
I would actually care about what they did, if this guy was part of that family!
“No, dad, I said you’d sell more if you got a *Kardashian* to model one.”
Which eye? The one looking at you or his glass eye that’s smoldering?
Huh. Am I the only one who sees Red Green here??
Lack of duct tape gives it away…
“Tonight on Frontline: A shocking look behind the closed doors of Possum Lodge…”
No you are not. My first thought was “Red Green, gone terribly wrong”. Apparently Possum Lodge is just a cover story for a whole other type of club.
This is the new Opossum Lodge Fashion line. For those times you want to take your stick off the ice.
Somehow…just somehow…I don’t think that Red Green would approve of this. At all.
nope, i’m with you!
At least it’s not a Kardashian wearing rubber overalls. Small gifts, and all that.
He’s not a “leatherman.” He’s a MEATY UROLOGIST!
I’ve had a stressful day and my brain is too much mush to even begin to compute this. What the actual fuck.
Was just thinking IT’S A GOOD THING I WASN’T PLANNING ON SLEEPING TONIGHT ANYWAY.
What the theoretical fuck.
the figurative fuck?
The potential fuck that is no more.
Must be some former IML…
Nope…..Harold was never International Mr Leather.
Granpa sure has been busy since he retired.
“Mom, who’s this guy?”
“What’s the picture look like?”
“An old dude in rubber shorts holding his crotch with one foot on a lawn mower.”
“Oh, that’d be dad.”
Punctuation is a wonderful thing. I read that as ” An old dude in rubber shorts, holding his crotch with one foot, on a lawnmower.”
The first two things to come to mind, after the horror wore off, was 1) WTF????? and 2) Hillbilly BDSM?
Sadly, we now know what Jed Clampett REALLY did with his oil money…
Here comes Uncle Joe
He’s moving kinda slow
At the Dungeon.
Just remembered, my lawn needs mowing, and I mean that metaphorically
I guess what they say about Rubbermaid is true….it keeps old things fresher for longer.
Anyone else think this dude looks like a deranged garden gnome?
Now I’m imagining garden gnomes like this. But then that would be perfect to put on etsy and April would probably like one for her garden. Somebody here could surely make a garden gnome like one of those. Of course, there may already be some like it on there, shudders…. One should wear protective footwear while mowing.
A gnome, or maybe the guy from Fishermen’s Friend lozenges. Who’s been at sea waaaay too long.
Or Gorton’s Fisherman?
Thanks, as I have one of these in my mouth and a box on my desk. D:
This cannot be unseen.
Maybe, but I’M TRYING!!
a little Soju(booze) and lime juice sure helps
Don’t drink it. Just squirt it directly into your eyes.
ha… damn.. i knew i was doing something wrong.
Sure, it can. It’s still early enough that vodka will do the job.
Golly! So that’s what the gardener does when I’m not around.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
I’m hired to perform at a lot of fetish events. I would say more than most people know exist. And this … this is the sort of person who, stereotypically, gets kicked out of these events for weirding everyone out.
I, too, have performed at a ton of Fetish events, and this was also my first thought.
He reminds me of the random old guy who walked up to me at a fetish show and licked my corset lacing randomly… *vom*
I guess I’m just commiserating with you on the one creepy old guy at the fetish ball. There’s always one, and it’s this guy.
You gotta admit, though, he looks like he’s in great shape for his age. Surely there’s some ladies (and men) down at the senior center who would enjoy some of these photos.
Like the one with the batman thing going on, where he’s fully covered.
You ladies have given me valuable insight into a world I’m not sure I ever really wanted to know about… Thanks?
It’s like Rule 34. If it exists, someone out there has a fetish for it.
I read an article about him in Bizarre magazine a few years back. I guess he’s been doing this forEVER! He was working some office job and wearing full latex underneath all the time, FFS. God bless him, someone’s got to do it, I guess.
I suspect I am not clear on the latex clothing thing. Wouldn’t you get sores wearing it “all the time” and the odoriferous emanations, seems there is a stinky guy in every office, but that would be above & beyond right?
I HAVE worn latex around the house as a sort of “detox”; you sweat so much underneath it that it cleans out your system wonderfully. Maybe it’s the secret to him looking so good, who knows?
This man looks so much like my dad that I’m pretty much shivering and crying under my desk here. Thanks for the trauma, Regretsy!
I thought he looked like the neighbour I rent grazing off. (so now I can’t ever look let alone talk to him again!)
Well…at least now you’ll never again be curious as to what is in the tower room.
It also probably explains all the fishing boots..and no fishing.
Then your dad is HOT!
Holy crap on a cracker.
What’s with the basket effort?
And the waders?
And the leather chair?
Note all this seems to be in his shed?
I think the backdrops look oddly suburban! The thought of this superfit leather grandaddy being someone’s neighbor in suburbia really has me teetering between comedy and drama.
It’s probably the house that makes pedestrians cross to the other side of the street as they approach it. Every neighborhood has one.
I’ve seen some insane stuff on Tumblr’s many porn blogs, but this is OUT there
And I even clicked for more “supporting delights”. And now I have shame.
I did too. Why did we do that? WHY?
I got as far as the front page and, after reading the headings, I just froze. I’ve clicked on every manner of fuckery here on Regretsy, but I’m backing away from this one.
I know what you mean.
There is NO excuse for comic sans!
There is one excuse for Comic Sans: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-comic-sans-asshole
However, there is no excuse for papyrus!
When the people who are no longer fazed by Goatse are scared, you know that something is really fucked up.
I’m too scared to look.
So I would not, that’s why.
I did too. The tour of his playroom is horrifying in ever way possible.
My favorite part was the label on the “gardening” section.
“Welcome to my Garden! 30 years of great photos AND frogs! Bring the whole Family, but please stay on the paths!”
What do cowhides have to do with large, gnarly trees? We’re not speaking Tannic Acid here, folks!
I’m going to ignore the eyes and the overload of dick bulge in these pictures, and just look at the positive. He looks pretty good for his age, and I’m sure staying “active” will help him live longer?
I hesitated to make fun of him directly because he’s in fantastic shape, especially considering his white-whisker age!
…… uh.. positive riight…. um.. well once you get past the WTF…. some old dude seems to be enjoying himself playing latex/rubber dress up
whatever floats his boat i guess. oh.. and he doesn’t live near me so even better.
It’s not that he enjoys it (as long as innocent children or animals aren’nt involved it’s not my business) but the need to share that I think many of us could do without. It does seem to keep him fit — and happy.
Please tell me that’s NOT Red Green in some of those photos. And then somebody send a link to this to Red Green.
I met Red Green at one of his book signings. He signed his name on a piece of duct tape on my leg. Very nice guy.
Hoping to return to the airwaves of Canada, The Red Green Show targets a wider audience.
all I”m saying is holy fucknards Batman!.. my favorite is the one in green, makes him look like a naughty version of the traveling gnome.
After recovering from the brain trauma (or perhaps not), all I could think was: that cup looks overambitious.
I first read that as “overambunctious,” and it still made perfect sense.
I find the most frightening sight on his website is the brazen use of comic sans. It just adds to the confusion.
Comic Sans: Sexy font? Or the sexiest?
Oh Santa, how could you?
This made me snort laughing…
Grandpa DeSade (whose site I can no longer find) really had the “Santa, NOOOO!” vibe going. Another now-dead site immortalized him in a gif:
OH GOD!!! Where is my Brain bleach?!?
“Fishing in boys town”
Well, that seems appropo, since this appears to be the Gorton Fisherman in his time off. “Trust the Gorton fisherman.” Um…NO.
I can’t believe that you were able to post this without any comment………..none…..are you ill, HK? Can I help in any way?
Some things are just too perfect for words.
He looks kinda like my boyfriend’s dad. I’m gonna need to get full-on drunk to wipe this from my memory.
I got full on drunk with a boyfriend’s dad once – and then the boyfriend’s dad tried to stick his tongue down my throat. Never saw the boyfriend’s dad after that. (Shudders) Boyfriend was on the ex list pretty soon after as well. (Shudders again)
Shouldn’t this be in a “Regretsy or Regretsy” thread? Holy mother of burning-my-eyes-out-with-a-red-hot-poker…
Cool…who left the italics on? It’s like everything we’re saying is extra snarky.
I don’t know what my feelings are doing.
(seller) “let’s see……who would possibly model this stuff for me?” (Light bulb in brain lights-up) “I know, crazy old grandpa!”. Who is actually in very good physical shape.
This is… different…. Is it bad that the first thing I thought (besides “Ew.”) was “I wonder if his junk is actually big enough to fill that… pouch?” I also really like his superhero-esque poses.
AH-HA! Apparently it is NOT all him (thank God). Some research has discovered that he uses these things called Jock-Ups. http://jockups.leatheroaks.org/
Many bothans faced their leathery doom to bring us this information.
those are actually really well-made.
and i’m glad for him that they’re not real, so he doesn’t have to try and wrestle himself into non-action-hero pants every day and lament his gift and his curse.
My personal favorite….chains are his ‘basket ‘jewelry’. Oh boy. I’m going to go make a listing RIGHT NOW….
The bulging crotch masochist in me wanted to read some of his site but IT IS ALL IN COMIC SANS.
Dude, if I look that good when I’m 93, you can bet I’ll wear a spaghetti colander and Curious George rainboots just to show off my body.
Amen! His hobby/occupation/lifestyle/business isn’t really my thing, but I’ve got to give him credit for embracing it and flaunting it.
just commenting to say I was the 69th thumbs up on your comment, bc it was that hot…
After Grandma passed on, Grandpa found unusual ways to fill the lonely days…
Oh my God.
This is the best fucking day of my life. First that magical fuckery that is that forsaken painting, and now this old man and his leather junkholders.
I love today.
rubber overalls? Check. Lawnmower? Check. Waders in the kitchen? Check. Gas mask? Check. Unfinished, raw board house for the photo shoot? Really…?
Amazingly, that is what I kept focusing on as well. “Why is your house not finished!??!?!”
Chain maille ball hammocks aren’t cheap! Sometimes you have to make hard choices.
See what I did there?
That whole raw board, gas mask, and kitchen waders thing reminds me of an art instillation I went to a few years ago. It was a walk-through of a raw-board place with tv screens playing porn and bombings. Then as you continued there was a “meth lab” section. I actually found this less creepy. Plus there are WAYYYYYY fewer hipsters.
I like instillation – it seem to hold the promise of a stiff drink. (not that all drinks with this guy couldn’t count as stiff drinks).
I really hope he has grandkids and someone thinks to film their reaction to his page. Priceless!
If I had a definition for “Grubby”, that would be it!
Wow. That first one was creepy. Then I just started wondering if he was trying to sell tools to help me gouge my eyes out or inflict pain on myself to forget the visual anguish I’ve just exposed myself to..
Now I know what my nightmares will be about for the next month
Well, that’s sure some collection of gum boots/hip waders/wellies. My brain has refused to process anything else.
“My three season Gulf Coast leisure attire! Mind you, I add a vest for formal occasions, such as pondside dining. My little friend really gets into his piping, doesn’t he? I like garden poses, especially with my concrete and metal companions.”
This is the caption of him in a leather speedo. I think I might actually love him.
Although, I must note, his “concrete and metal companions” are statue of cherubic children.
You know, posing next to a mulching mower to look hawt just does not work. If you’re gonna wear a codpiece, you gotta bag your clippings. Amirite?
C’mon, You gotta show some love for the environmentally conscious!
I have to say, I kind of dig this dude’s attitude, after reading this description in his “about me” section -
“I’ve many stories, fantasies and follies that can’t be easily displayed in photos. When you see the link on the left, it’s your opportunity to grope for more of what’s behind the man in leathery rubber. Conversely, if you’d rather Not know the thoughts of manly interactions I might be entertaining, then please, “Don’t Push” ! !”"
I wish I was able to “DON’T PUSH! !” the entire website, but whatever.
After clicking on the picture of his genitals (why? why??) though, it revealed: “And many times they’ll challenge standard definitions: Some would dismmiss this photo as masturbation concealed. That’s not my intent or general experience at all. But certainly there’s a lot of genital awareness in my daily life.”
A LOT OF GENITAL AWARENESS IN MY LIFE.
how DID you miss snarking this, HK? Someone get that woman some whiskey, stat.
I didn’t miss it. I had to leave something for you guys.
This also needs to be embroidered onto a throw pillow and sold on Etsy.
The blue thing at the beginning scared me.
Now, though…I’m pretty sure I am in love.
I am so tempted… so tempted… maybe with kittens.
Perhaps some kind of Regretsy combo?
“THERE IS A LOT OF GENITAL AWARENESS IN MY LIFE,
GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY”
Hang it on the front door and see how many people come around to talk about their religion.
I can do this, I have the technology.
What does it say about me that the first thing I noticed is that the dude’s crosseyed?
Oh, shiza. He is!
Are you in optometry by any chance?
Nope. Theatre. So I guess I can *act* like an optometrist.
I’m with you! I was like, “He’s cross eyed. And why is he making the same face on in every picture? Is he making that face under the hoods, too?”
I saw that too!!! Cross-eyed and bad-assed!!
Actually, it looks more like a glass eye on the left. Maybe one of his penis grenades detonated.
…. “Penis grenades” is totally going to be my punk-rock band’s first album.
I think Harold would be very disappointed to know you were looking at his EYES.
I really really really wish he had an eyepatch. It would just sell the fantasy a teensy bit better for me.
No! No eyepatch!
Then he’d look like Leather-Daddy Cohen The Barbarian and I won’t be able to unsee it!
My first thought: it’s the Silver Horde!
Ok. Um. Why, oh god why. does gramps here need such large codpieces? There’s nothing that will ever wash these pics from my memory.
I need vodka. I don’t even drink vodka, and I could use a big ol’ handle of it right now.
Shitballs. I won’t wear spanx cuz they make me chafe so kudos to the latex pepaw. Of course when I do wear bondage foundations I, too, get the wonky eye.
HA! “Latex Pepaw”!
If someone’s taken “Penis Grenades” then “Latex Pepaw” is definitely a solid backup. Or jockup.
Is it really sad that, after goggling at the codpiece, I thought ” Wow, I’ve seen that on South Park. I wonder if he’s the model…”
South Park – my source of information about gay porn…
That’s not a codpiece, it’s the whole damn trawler.
NOooo … longliner.
Not to sound blase or anything…but I’ve seen worse. Far worse. Compared to a picture I saw once that made my dick scream and run from the room, this stuff is MILD.
Certainly his outfits look more comfortable than that cameltoe thing a while back.
@Vagrarian – shows you just how many FJLs need to get out and fag hag once in a while. truly tame.
I mean, this stuff is strange…but hardly brain-bleach-worthy, IMHO. A short walk in life’s seamy underbelly will expose one to all sorts of stuff.
OK, maybe we need to start up an FJL Fag Hag Placement Service….
Reporting for duty, Sir.
Sign me up!
I was gonna say, I have some friends who are into bondage and all that, and one night, me and my best friend were over there, and he was showing us one of his porn mags, and the stuff I saw in there was, you know, pretty painful and unpleasant looking. Pretty cringeworthy, at least in my book. This website, I hardly bat an eye at, admittedly though, I am finding it highly entertaining. Latex pepaw is wonderfully eccentric.
Why does he have the same surprised look on his face in each photo?
He’s pretending the cable guy just walked back into the room and “caught” him. We all have our fantasies.
Wouldn’t YOU find that codpiece surprising?
thats his “come hither surprise buttsecks” face.
I can’t help but wonder what’s going to happen to all this stuff when he dies. Can you imagine his grandkids going through this stuff? Will they be horrified? Or will they be fighting over who gets to keep the blue pleather overalls? Do you think he’s designated that in his will?
Strangely, I thought that too. But maybe because I had a recent experience of my own when my grandad departed. It wasn’t this bad though, thank feeee-uck!
Does it mean that I am desensitized since I was more weirded out by the particle board walls with the paintings hung on them like they’re normal?
During retirement every day is casual Friday!
At least there are no Kinkade paintings. That would be just so much more disturbing.
My bf has officially declared that he wants to mow the lawn dressed like this, particularly the one with the studded leather and black waders.
Should I make it for him?
There are small children in the neighborhood…
Add a Huckleberry Hound mask. That’ll make the outfit child-friendly.
God, that’s just nightmare fuel.
From the website: ” The oak with the most character at my new place has to be this one, but it’s surprisingly hard to get a good picture. This is another crossover photo. The shorts are neoprene Nasty Pig from Mister S, the muscle tank from International Male, and Cabela’s insists that the rubber boots are for Coon Hunting!! While you can’t quite make it out in this photo, the dark brown rubber is textured with a herringbone grid effect. I presume that raccoons are particulary drawn to this pattern? Maybe if you run your thumbnail over the grid?? Just a thought!!”
So he likes dressing up in fetish gear and posing in front of oak trees?? I prefer maple but whatev. Different strokes for different folks.
I’m all about the mimosa.
Go birch or go home.
I wasn’t disturbed until you mentioned International Male.
After Doctor Who, I didn’t think I could be any more afraid of gas masks, yet here we are.
Are you my mummy?
No – I’m your Dadd-dadd-daddy-oh.
I love that he uses the phrase “bulge tolerance” in one of his descriptions. That would be an awesome album name for the Butthole Surfers. I have to find a way to somehow work that into everyday conversation.
He’s into enhanced bulging.
I can’t stop looking at that damned website.
Keep reporting back. I’m too afraid.
I’ll try. If y’all don’t hear from me in 5 minutes, send in the rescue team.
I kept clicking and clicking on the pics waiting for the Etsy shop to come up, but nothing happened, so I clicked again, because that’s what fat jealous losers do seeking a moment of clarity. Then I ate a bag of Cheetos.
I was desperately seeking an Etsy shop. I am totally dressing like that next Halloween. Or Sunday brunch, which ever comes first.
It’s situations like this that make me wonder about the internet. People have fetishes. I get that. The problem is that, pre-internet days, these fetishes were confined to them and maybe a very small group of close friends.
Nowadays, anyone who can afford to rent a site on GoDaddy can post this sort of stuff for the whole world to see, apparently not aware that the whole world might not be interested in it.
Now excuse me while I go fix myself a brain-bleach cocktail. Though I fear that, like Goatse, what has been seen cannot be unseen…
Yeah, that whole freedom of thought and speech thing gets to be such a drag…
I celebrate everyone’s option to let their freak flag fly high, and my option to spectate, join in, possibly giggle, or ignore it as the spirit moves me.
This stuff isn’t being force-fed to you; you see it if you choose to…or if some demented bitch tricks you into looking at it on her blog.
Yet we’re all still here, eagerly awaiting the next post from the demented bitch.
I usually just choose not to see this. Half-naked old people weird me out. That’s why I only go to the “18 to Thirty Somethings” parties at my bondage club.
*sips her coffee, continues to read through the comments, then realizes everyone is looking at her*
Sigh…yeah…looking through the online dating site at men my own age has started to make me wish I was a celibate lesbian. They’re all starting to look like my elderly father. I am, of course, spectacular for my age…the kind of spectacular that didn’t involve knives or injections…
“That’s why I only go to the “18 to Thirty Somethings” parties at my bondage club.”
Those groups are often called TNG (The Next Generation) or Whippersnappers.
It’s situations like this that make me love the the internet even harder. How else could this guy have shown off his hobby without being arrested? Plus, he’s able to find more like-minded people than he ever could have otherwise.
At it’s best, helping people understand that they aren’t the only ones, and they’re really not crazy or dispicable for feeling/thinking differently from the majority of people they know is a great thing.
This kind of makes me see that things that I’ve proclaimed “totally fucked up” weren’t so bad after all.
He goes to church. I wonder if he has special rubber/leather he wears. And if he goes with an ‘enhanced’ bulge.
I’ve always been amazed at how much the leather/BDSM crowd is into church and religion. Makes one wonder.
Have you read “The Republican Gomorrah”? I haven’t yet, but I understand it addresses that connection.
Never heard of it; may have to look it up.
Added to my amazon basket (appropriately enough).
Looking forward to reading about the Rebpublican Tea-baggers.
Not that surprising, though – both appeal to people with an authoritarian orientation. Hierarchal power structure, rigid boundaries, manichean (dualist) world view… makes sense to me.
welcome to the dark side
This man belongs with us. How can we get him to climb the fence from etsyan to regretsyan? This must happen. We are of the same blood, cut from the same fucked up fabric/leather scraps.
I absolutely concur with this. The snark is strong in this one. Someone must bring him over!
Its the only way we will ever see our Finnish friend Petja in sexy leathers.
I implore HK and Bronc to lure him over with some of that secret swag stash.
He’s not on Etsy, is he? I thought this was just a random guy with a website. (I refuse to click anything for verification. Reports are frightening.)
I realize that now. Which is even more reason he belongs here.
Don’t think this guy has anything to do with Etsy….
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Anyone else watch the 7 minute video of the Rubber and Rawhide Railroad with the Cedar Groin Tunnel on his site?
Wow. Just wow.
I did now. big disappointment, that groin tunnel
“You’re a man of many talents, Jean-Luc.”
The video’s extremely safe for work, BTW. You’ll only get fired for slacking off. Neat freaks and RR execs are warned off – leaves on the track and encroaching vegetation everywhere.
omg omg omg my boyfriend has wanted a backyard train for YEARS and talks about it all the time, I cannot wait to rickroll him with this….
I had to register after months of lurking, just to say, THIS FREAK IS IN MY TOWN!! Yes!!!! Must go see Leather Oaks….
Report back on how it goes!!!
I seriously would go! My friend said she’d be down with it too. I could interview him with questions from you Regretsians.
This dude is going on one hell of a fishing trip.
What I really want to know, after all the rubber and the waders and the chains and the possibly-santa, possibly-your-next-door-neighbor old naked guy is who the hell looks at a half finished plywood wall and goes “Yup, that’ll do” and then hangs pictures on it?
I mean, come on people. Sheetrock. It exists for a reason.
I’ve seen some really nice walls, floors, even furniture and built in cabinetry made out of uncovered OSD.
It’s waterproof (possibly a consideration after Katrina damaged his house?), cheaper or only a tad more $ than sheetrock, and since he was considering a stone tower/stockade for his dungeon/playroom, I’m guessing he was going for a primitive ambiance. The walls in the rest of his house look finished.
It also holds up better to having things hung from it.
This was my face. Wait, no, this is STILL my face:
Stealing owl image at this moment…but only for private personal amusement
Add a soupcon of vomit and you’d have MY face.
I thumbed you up for your use of the word “soupcon.” *swoon*
That’s pretty much my expression too.
i ain’t even mad about this old dude. can’t hate on a guy who dresses up like codpiece batman and plays with trains in his backyard because he just wants to do that and doesn’t give even the slightest of fucks. imagine being that free of worry about what other people think of you. godspeed harold you leatherbound maniac.
I agree. He’s basically a diety of fuckery. I envy him. I admire him. I sorta want to be like him. But with one less penis.
godspeed harold you leatherbound maniac.
Yep. Long may you wave, man.
this guys got nothin’ on string emil
Although I love the fact that there is a section on Mr leather oak’s website to talk about the antique chest of drawers used for his website….and it isn’t even a euphemism!!
I just lost an hour looking at this guy in his garden. He also loves mud. LOVES mud. http://leatheroaks.org/Garden/HotTwo/PostedKatrina/CoolMud.html
okay, he’s one of those guys who has a fetish for everything.
i’ve had some of these in my house. i did not want them there.
And who wouldn’t love MUD???
In the words of Mr Oak’s; “The feel of cool mud on a hot, rubber-clad butt is one of life’s unspoken pleasures”!!!
I laughed so hard my husband brought me toilet paper. I’m still laughing!
I think it’s the eyes. Yeah, that’s it. The eyes.
I’ll never eat pineapple again.
Fuck it, I’ll never be able to LOOK at a pineapple again.
why why why does he have a football in his pants?
what on earth could it be doing for him?
Oh, I thought this was on Etsy. I was wondering when they’d started a Dating category.
Hey sure likes his waders doesnt he…
Someone has a codpiece issue. Seriously.
” As you may imagine, I’ve always had trouble keeping my hands away from my basket”
Hell, that ain’t no codpiece. That’s a WHOLE FRIGGIN’ COD.
We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Okay, I’m just going to sneak this one in here where no one will notice…
I hope to HELL that all the old men in my future are in the great shape this dude’s in. And as frisky. But without quite so much paraphernalia.
…because no one really reads these things, do they?
I hope I’m in as good shape when I’m in my seventies and onwards.
Somebody’s ready for a Flood.
Some of it is almost “not steampunk”. And what is he looking at anyway (something just off behind me…)
i think the gentleman may be, as we said in my youth, “googly-eyed”
This just made me chortle. With glee.
I don’t understand why the enormous cod piece is necessary lol
Someone needs to get that Schector asshole or his wife to write a cease and desist letter to his codpiece. Because that is some false advertising right there!
Well, I’ll be damned. This guy can change the size of his smell!
note to self: Never follow a link you see on regretsy
and >snicker< nutsack?
I like big nuts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can’t deny
(a bunch of lines I can’t think of right now)
Shake ‘em! Yeah!
Shake those healthy nuts!
Baby’s got sac!
Unique. Ball. Sweat. Sweet Zombie Jesus. That is a Regretsy post all its own.
*Smell. Unique. Ball. Sweat. SMELL. And you’re smelling your own, not you’re lovers or anything that might make a bit of sense.
Hey if I could look that good at his age I would be smiling at the camera too! Rock on hot grampa.
My favorite is the waders in the kitchen. I’ve often considered that frying bacon in the nude is a bad idea. I think he solved the problem!
alternate reality future Bronc.
I have to admit that deep down inside it’s comforting to know that there’s a leather daddy out there for me…should I ever feel the need for one.
Thank you leather daddy for making me feel safe!
i can’t decide which one to steal for my facebook profile pic
This man scares me and I would like to never meet him ever please.
He feels the same way about you.
I don’t know, he strikes me as the type to hold a very interesting conversation indeed.
“The CU, especially when worn with a stack of rubber cock rings (O rings), presents a substantial elongated bulge under jeans or close fitting shorts.”
Why does this guy need a washer stack around his junk? Were his nuts undertorqued?
This guy would be rich(er) if Lady Gaga ever gets wind of what he’s selling.
Can you imagine her in a giant codpiece? Classic!
Rip-you-a-new-one Van Winkle. He can star on the next Regretsy book of fables.
I love you.
Now guess who’s sporting a codpiece-worthy bulge?
You know, what happened to the good old days when you didn’t have to don a rubber bodysuit, a gas mask, chains, a cod piece and chemical lab gloves in order to turn on your lover?
A pair of low slung jeans or just a freaking bath towel and I’m good to go……
I think his intent is to turn -himself- on.
I am so turned on right now.
‘I’ve long maintained that wearing a jockstrap is akin to having a close friend palm me continually.’
This chap is amazing. He has a decorously verbose way with words which only adds to the comedy gold.
Love the earnest discourse on “Jock ups”
Don’t whatever you do click on the links to the left.
Got to admire his enthusiasm, energy & individual take on life. He seems like a chirpy fellow.
crap – I had to click on the links to the left
Zip up shorts????? WHY?
I just don’t want to know….
Maaaaaaan…I wish my BF had stripper shorts. Hell yeah.
That’s not Hal writing, that’s a second guy mailing/selling those based on Hal’s design, for an entire community of jock cradlers.
Now I wonder how many jock ups secretly walk amongst us…
I know this daddy bootman through the boot fetish website to which we both contribute. Believe it or not, his profile on that site states that he “enjoy[s] being a Queer Man who loves his BOOTS and wears them outside his pants. No interest in S/m or role playing of any kind”.
He simply loves his boots, and all the things that boots make better.
God love him. He is over eighty years old, and twice the man I’ll ever be.
“Boots” doesn’t refer to those wellingtons he’s wearing, does it?
There is a certain innocence about him, which is rather sweet, & incongruous paired with his hobbies.
Here is a video of him being pelted with boots.
This is the best thing I’ve seen all day.
Who’s taking the pictures? That’s what I want to know.
Am I jaded?
My reaction was “Old guy looks like he’s enjoying himself, and his activities neither pick my pocket nor break my leg. As long as he’s not causing trouble for anyone, go him!”
Perhaps. I’ve viewed enough porn that stuff like this just looks like dress up. Dress up I can’t understand the appeal of, but still. He doesn’t even whip out his ding dong or talk specifically about the sex he has. Plus now I know a bungee sex swing exists! Not that I’d have anywhere to mount it, but…ANYWAYS, I think this is just some dude, who has built his own little world and now he is living the leather/rubber/wetsuit/stuffed pants/gardening/railroad/wading life of his dreams. Is it weird? Sure. But it’s not explicitly gross and perfectly legal, and he seems to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. So hey, good for him. I say be as weird as you want to, as long as you don’t hurt other people. I wonder if he will see this and respond.
Not this comment, of course. This Regretsy post.
Yep. Definitely not my thing but pretty tame stuff. I’m surprised everyone’s so squicked out by it. Maybe because he’s old?
Hell, watch an early John Waters film, like PINK FLAMINGOS, FEMALE TROUBLE, MONDO TRASHO, or MULTIPLE MANIACS. This guy’s stuff will be a balm to your eyes after that. Or try the German horror film NEKROMANTIC. Or…or…or….you get the idea…
Mine was “…Leather Petja?”
I feel like this guy LARPs
You’d be suprised how many people who are into this stuff do.
That guy has some really big….
The direction his jock strap is facing is how you navigate his site. You click on it to go to the next page or back. *shudders*
Dafuq is this?! I saw the first one and was like “blue frankenstein?” Then I kept going.. and going… and I got lost in the rabbit hole that leads to the really fucked up part of the internet. CAN NOT UNSEE!
Did… did creepy leather grandpa make that Cardassian mask himself, or did he just repaint it?
He looks like the love child of Red Green and Tommy Chong.
I have the weirdest boner right now.
Tell my family I love them.
I know someone who will just love this.
You know, as a gay man, I can dig the master/slave – leather thing. Admittedly he’s in GREAT shape for his age and enjoys what he’s doing. I, I just can’t get past the googly-eye. He couldn’t have closed one eye and given a Popeye “AARRGGHH”??!!
“camera one, camera two, where you fittin’ to spank me grandpa, I….I mean Sir?”
Clothing fetish (boots, rubber etc) does not necessarily mean BDSM does not necessarily mean master/slave.
From a purely practical standpoint – why the hell choose that hideous avocado green number – is it vintage from the 70s? And wouldn’t that seam cause some severe discomfort? Perhaps an early effort?
I just want to know who’s behind the camera.
Good on him I say. He looks like he’s having fun.
Gramps has a pretty good bod for his age!
I realise no-one at all will see this now, but that’s Harold! He used to have a column in Bizarre Magazine where he talked about his love of rubber. He’s a sweet guy.
Yes he is.
I should probably stop coming here first thing in the morning, though saying that this is an amazing WTF to start the day with. That and I’m pretty sure I won’t encounter anything weirder than this.
I think he is sexy as all hell, considering his age! Firm body and a fun attitude to life. And I really want to see his garden…
No, that is NOT a euphemism!
i was looking at his garden before in the links and i feel like this is a dedicated, capable dude who needs to be part of our community.
especially if he’s going to take more mad photos like these.
Props to him for keeping healthy and doing what he loves. Yes, I am a tad uncomfortable viewing the images, but there’s a lot that does bother me. As long as he’s playing with a consenting partner or partners, and as long as it’s not actually harming anyone (needing brain bleach does not, imnsho, constitute ‘harm’) then why the hell shouldn’t he do what he likes?
He must be the bottom. How do I know?
He’s got crossed eyes from staring at too much pecker.
Wearing a protective codpiece while mowing is a very sound idea, safety-wise.
An important, but often neglected component of personal safety attire to wear before operating outdoor power equipment.
This old man is like, twenty different superheroes.
All of them gay.
Most of them awesome.
Also, I can’t help but imagine his voice in the bucket-head one having this deep, echoing (via bucket) baritone: “NONE SHALL PISS.”
Strangely I was drawn to look, and be disgusted, and look away, and look back, and click on more…..I think I have an illness……
I saw a webisode on him years ago – I even found it for your viewing pleasure – http://revision3.com/webdrifter/waders.
It is five years old now but it doesn’t seem that Harold has changed much.
Thank you for sharing this; definitely worth watching. Harold may be weird, but he really does seem like a sweet old guy. And I wish I’d heard of Web Drifter before; I hope he’s popular, because he seems pretty cool.
A million thanks for this.
I Love Harold!
He definitely belongs on the “Men of Regretsy” calendar.
Which we are still DESPERATELY waiting for.
That was fun! I loved how the mike stuck out of his harness. If only we could all be so honest about the stuff that turns us on.
Tom of Finland meets Red Green.
And if they don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Oh sweet Jegus…
I just realized what the insignia is on his chest in the kitchen picture.
I need something that says…”Daddy Likes Whimsical Fuckery.”
I hope to spend my dotage much as in #5, but with lots of similarly-appointed twentysomething women surrounding me.
-Sit down to eat lunch
-Decide to browse Regretsy
-WHY DID I NOT REALIZE THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA, IT’S LIKE I’VE LEARNED NOTHING
Hellooooooooooo nightmares for tonight! Hell, this might give me nightmares for a week.
Dad saw this and went “Make it stop!!”
L.L. Bean targets a new demographic with their latest ad campaign. Officials there state that reviews are “mixed”.
I think there is something wrong with me. I looked at all his stuff and all I could think was, “leather cowboy hats and chainmail codpeices just don’t mix that well”.
Er, I hope this isn’t too personal, but is that a self-propelled lawnmower?
I could have gone my entire life without ever seeing the Gorton’s Fisherman lounging around on a sex swing.
This is truly disturbing HK. Bravo!
Don’t you ever, EVER make me look at that again without posting a hilarious commentary at the bottom.
That’s funny, Geriatric BDSM Man is my favorite superhero!
Okay, so I get the leather, rubber, and latex. I get the huge codpiece. Even the gasmask…. I get it.
I still can’t quite get my brain wrapped around the fuckery that is the cardassian mask in the first picture though. It’s gonna be quite a while before I can go back to watching reruns of DS9 without cackling like a looney.
Maybe he got inspiration from Sean Connery?
best Pornstache in the world
“Is that a boot in your jock, or are you just ha—
It is? Oh, okay.”
We need to somehow get that site to come up when people google search Leatherman, as in the multi-tool?? I want it to be the TOP search spot….
I shouldn’t have shown that to my wife. Now she wants to knit me a codpiece.
No, Chuck Testa! NO!
This guy is having an awesome time. That’s cool. Also, I love the name “Leather Oaks”.
I wrote Harold and received a reply. One thing he said:
“I have a relatively thin skin. That’s why – I like to tell folks – that I wear leather!”
What a gent!
It takes guts to do what he does.
Is it wrong that this delightfully kinky old man has filled my heart with joy?
This entire site needs to be featured on Lurid Digs (Incredibly NSFW, amateur gay porn warning)
I have to wonder if this guy’s friends know about these pics.
I seriously doubt he hides it from them. He doesn’t seem to have that in him.
Oh dear. Grandpa has been playing with the hip waders again! No more dress up grampy, it scares us. Take your meds and settle down.
I teach Psychology 101 at a local college. I used these pictures in my powerpoint, and for extra credit I asked for a diagnosis of this man. They handed in their quiz with nothing written for extra credit. I made them stay after class and write SOMETHING…they thought I was kidding but I assured them I was not. I went on to give the link to this site, so if any of my students are reading this, bravo for the follow up! Truly an interesting specimen, very useful for teaching on sexual fetishes and what not. Thanks Regretsy!
I think he’s fantastic, and it delights me that he follows his bliss with such joie de vivre.
This goes on the list of things not to see before 8.30am before coffee. Suddenly I’m not feeling so great.
Is it bad that I immediately recognized him? His name is Harold, a rubber fetishist. He used to have a column in British fringe magazine Bizarre. It was called “Harold’s Bulge” and he came across as a sweet and charming man in his column.
Leather daddy? Old news. We have leather GRAND-daddy! And he is awesome.
Hip waders are the new garter belt and stockings for men. This guy may be my new muse
The Tom of Finland artwork in the background just screams, “I AM A LEATHER BUTCH DADDY!”
Yes the artist is called “Tom of Finland”. PERKELE, everyone!
I love the mix of dungeon and domestic shots. I have a gay brother who took me to a famous sex emporium called “The Pleasure Chest” in West Hollywood a few decades ago and a lot of this stuff fall right in line with the costume department. Yes, they had a costume section and you could buy cop and fireman outfits. They also sold chain off a spool like a hardware store too. None of this really shocks me, nothing I haven’t seen before. I’ve been to Folsom Street Fair. This shit is standard fair for that event.
I saw this guy on a dominatrix documentary. He’s a mailman, and wears his leather under his mailman outfit. No joke.
This is why his awesomeness is unsurpassed by mere mortals.
Call the Fashion Police!! That is NOT the proper way to wear an armadillo!
MY EYES!! THEY BURN!!!!
Seriously people at this moment what has been seen cannot be unseen and it is making me want to loose my cookies!
Did anyone else see the new Avengers movie? It was NOT what I was expecting.
I want a set of garden gnomes that look just like him! That will keep the neighborhood kids off my lawn!!
Holy hell. I KNOW THIS GUY! This is my ex-boyfriend’s neighbor. I knew about his website, but it’s so awesome that he ended up on Regretsy!
For the record, he really does mow the lawn in leather codpieces, and when we were in high school we could see the chains of the swing moving and rocking in the “tower room” from my ex’s yard. E also gets REALLY pissed when anyone parks in front of his house. Now I wish I had kept the passive-aggressive note he left on my windshield.
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