- This post originally appeared on Regretsy on May 6, 2011
Just when I think the fuckery can’t get any worse, here come beanbag bookends.
Hey, she at least gets points for effort. That brick bookend was going for around the same price, and it didn’t even have ‘ribbon work’!
Hey, hey, hey. That brick was VINTAGE. The more decay, the more you pay.
If only the brick seller had put a bow on it and called it “upcycled vintage brick bookend”. They could have squeezed out an extra 10 bucks for it at least.
Why was my first thought “I wish I had these in high school so I had a place to stash my condoms?”
They do seem like stash spots, don’t they? Condoms, pot, action figures…
was just going to say, sweet place to store my weed.
Exactly. They would have been the perfect hiding spot. Nothing says “I’m not getting laid” like a peachy pink bean bag up on a shelf.
Second only to the calculator watch.
They’re filled with Xanax.
In that case please send me a baker’s dozen!
BUT WHAT ARE THEY FILLED WITH????????
The ends of books.
Perfect for hobo wedding favors.
To paraphrase Stephen King: She has the heart of a small child…and she keeps it in these bags.
Memories of love lost and then found.
Charm as bright as all the days of Spring.
The happiness of the world, multiplied a hundredfold.
Grandma’s ashes that we were too cheap to buy a niche in the columbarium for.
Just as a guess.
well, they ARE softer than the brick bookends – so you can hit yourself over the head for wasting your money.
But at least the old brick would work as bookend. These things could hold what, 8 paperbacks?
My first thought was the old Saturday Night Live sketch: You put your weed in here……..
See, I think it makes more sense to just stitch these things, charge 27.99 plus shipping and let you all add your own filling. That sounds so much more Etsy to me.
After I line up a couple dozen small Bali-hi children to do the cutting and sewing for me, of course, at .03 an hour.
Are you going to make them out of recycled boat upholstery?
You don’t even get a bow for that? Not even a bow on your damn $28 beanbag? And I’m not positive you get two of them for that price, either.
“Ribbon work” = tying a knot.
And I love how she points out that she does all the work, including filling them. REALLY? You don’t pay someone else to fill them for you? That’s some skill there!
Although now that I think about it, considering Etsy’s current standards for “handmade,” that probably IS a great selling point.
I think the seller is trying to justify the obscene price by going “I MADE IT BY HAND THEREFORE I GET TO MARK IT UP HOWEVER I WANT, BECAUSE, HANDMADE”
Okay, what is this weird satin box thing this odd little display is sitting in?
*…annnnnnnd place your vagina euphemisms belowwww*
It’s a light box. Great for photographing jewelry and other small (especially shiny) objects; inexplicable for photographing cloth bookends that would look better on, oh I don’t know . . . a SHELF?
You don’t keep your three novels on your bed?!?!
[sheepishly removes novels from bed]
Or near the toilet??
if i’m going to throw down for these, i’ll fill them myself. no need for me to pay the shipping on a pound of kitty litter, or ground up barnwood or whatever…
Good point. You can probably buy a whole bag of kitty litter for what it costs to ship these then throw the rest in the trunk for when you need extra traction.
In fact, it might make more sense to just make and sell the bags for whatever purpose the buyer wants. Things like that could be good for reusable gift wraps or whatever.
Make the bags and then show several possible uses, including bookends.
They seem more-than-a-bit pricy though. I’m not efficient at sewing but could probably bang those out in five minutes. Once I got some assembly-line action going, I bet I could make 20/hour.
Charge $4.50 and people would buy them for gift wrapping.
Sounds like you’ve got yourself a business plan.
Hire 4 Balinese carpenters to do your sewing and you could sell ‘em for $4.50 and make a $4 profit!
i think i might buy these, take them out of the box, refill them with cat crap and then return to sender.
Too late, they’ve been Phyllised. That was quick!
Indeed, given this was posted a year ago! (we all make this same mistake at least once).
Whoops, I’m an idiot — thought we were in real-time. Thumbs away, me.
You know, I would have bought them if they were money bags. Then I can cosplay Scrooge McDuck.
Oh my, yes. I bought a fake (but sturdy canvas, so it’s nice) money bag from a Halloween shop last fall. It’s got a fake western bank name on one side, and nothing but a big $ on the other… I could fill it full of marbles and use it as a door stop, then make a couple money-bean-bag bookends to put nearby, with little cent signs.
“..and for an additional cost, you can send me your bra and I will stuff each cup with cotton (as if you haven’t already) and tie a cute little ribbon around each of them. I call them bra ends.”
I love how the seller says “ribbon work” like she’s embroidering it, or generally doing anything beyond tying them shut.
New Tom Cruise movie? “Bags Tied Shut”
I’m sorry. >_< Terrible pun is terrible.
Hey now – it’s not so easy to tie a ribbon when you’re, like, a seven-year-old who just got her first Hello Kitty sewing machine and hasn’t even quite mastered the shoe tying thing yet.
Hey, don’t knock the Hello Kitty sewing machine! It’s fully functional, and cheaper than anything else available. XD
These would not hold up my books. I need those industrial gray bricks… or the wall.
Same here. Maybe if I bought those featured So Cool Vintage World War III Repurposed Steampunk bricks and filled the pretty pink bags with them…but someone probably had the same idea because bricks inside bags are totally Construction/Rescued/Great Depression Era/Hobo-Style, obviously.
And then they were passed out as wedding souvenirs.
I first read this as “industrial gay bricks” and I was all “whuuuuut?”
Must be what that gay steel mill-slash-discoteque on the Simpsons was made of.
These are the Book End Times.
What gets me is the “ribbon work.” How much “work” goes into said “ribbon work,” you ask? Well, untie your shoe. Now tie it. You just did a comparable amount of ribbon work. If it’s something you learned in Kindergarten, then it’s probably not a legitimate talent to charge people $30 for. Also learned in Kindergarten: color-matching, how to decorate bags, and how to fill them with things.
Now I know where I saw these before! In Hurricane Katrina pictures! Those guys couldn’t tie a bow and coordinate ribbon color worth doodly, if you ask me.
Is it bad that my first thought was what a shit taste in books she has?
Also the bookends. They suck too.
Can I get them made out of “repurposed” fabric and filled with dried beans I can eat when the oceans rise and the planet is so hot we can’t grow food? On second thought, maybe I should get them with fabric I can repurpose.
Can you send me a free can of tuna if I order these?
Well… at least she made them herself? I guess? And her bookends aren’t just one brick? And it’s not made Bali boats coated in toxic paint? That’s really all I got for her but here at Regretsy that turns out to be quite a lot! So there’s that.
I … remember … these. In a magazine like LHJ or Womens Day, in the home crafts section. I was in junior high. Damn, I am sooo old. But I’d want them if they were grey and mottled and wet looking and ominous, filled with bags of the gel used in bra inserts so they could slowly slump off the end of the shelf when it was time for company to GO HOME..
I have that Tess Gerritsen book. I rather liked it. Which reminds me, I should be catching up on Rizzoli & Isles.
I need a couple of those in the bathroom. Maybe I’ll fill them with extra tampons and pads and other girly supplies, so they’ll be useful storage. I can call them-
Who doesn’t want a pair of satin ballsacks holding up their books?
[ horrible pun warning alert] Better the other way around – dressed up ballsacks atop bookpile: Moby Dick, Last Tango in Paris, The Story of O, Queen Bee …
I love this site.
This may not be true, but those look like bargain-bin books. It makes me think the seller is making “bookends”, but isn’t a reader. This annoys me for some reason.
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