- This post originally appeared on Regretsy on May 6, 2011
Not sure if I’m more appalled by the head gear or the coat
Crazy cushion headband. Childish low piggytails. Vacant-eyed gaze.
But I see utility in this getup, and that gormless expression clearly belies a sharp and cunning mind, for not even a PETA radical would paintbomb the intractably mentally ill. That mink monstrosity will make it home safely again today.
Oh bravo, bravo. I was waiting for “the intractably mentally ill” to make its appearance on these pages. Well played madam.
Thank you, m’ bumptious lady. *doffs hat* One endeavours to use it at any opportunity, whether said opportunity is actually present or not. Ditto ‘bumptious’.
I honestly didn’t even see the coat until reading your comment. I just thought it was lots of scary hair.
Don’t match your hair to your coat! At least, don’t match both the color and texture of your hair to your coat.
It appears to have been made out of upcycled baby bumpers.
Also, it has ruffles, buttons and old flowers, so it’s steampunk.
Oooh. Pincushions. Edgy.
edg·y /ˈejē/ Adjective: Tense, nervous, or irritable.
I assume this is the definition of “edgy” intended by the seller.
I’m not sure how ‘edgy’ applies at all. Seems to me she’s gone to every length to avoid any possible edges. When I think “edgy”, I usually don’t associate it with “child-friendly”.
I think that’s the spot on definition we are looking for of the word. well chosen vocabulary is so very important.
My only question is which one of you FJL’s bought the things and where are my pictures?
When your own model is wearing *that* expression… that’s not a good sign.
Interestingly she got one negative in her shop, BUT NOT FOR THESE!!!
Yeah, I want to know who bought those things. I wouldn’t even let my 6 year wear them.
If by “edgy” you mean “on the edge of sanity,” I’m guessing.
I like the contrast between the Mumphs, which project light-heartedness and gaity, and the model’s eyes, which are screaming “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Too bad these are sold…they would be perfect for the new wedding registry.
From the look on the model’s face, I think there is a stray pin in there somewhere.
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Someone needs to tell Fergie her image is being Perverted by the talentless taint
Uh, since apparently no one has explained it to you, the image of Fergie wearing the headband is not part of the ad, it’s a parody that HK (or possibly Bronc) made. It’s referring to the item’s title “Mumpfs”, making a joke about the Black Eyed Peas song “My Humps”. I thought it was totally hilarious personally
(It was also presumably done because the model in the ad looks kind of like Fergie)
Oh, absolutely not.
How did I miss this last year? And here I’ve been, trying to come up with a way to keep all my different kinds of pins separated in the sewing room.
My only thought was “I never noticed Fergie had so many ear piercings before”.
I’m too jaded to be phased by the mumpfs :c
its strange the two look so alike. they even have the same chin dimple. give the lady some similar make-up, a visit to a stylist and with a little air brushing, they could be twins.
“fuglies” was already taken by something else?
Seriously one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen, and there’s a lot of stupid things on here.
I’m confused as to why she doesn’t use the word “fascinator”. Not obscure enough? Mostly I’m upset because I just learned what that meant last year and am always looking for ways to use it in a sentence.
Because it’s more frightening than fascinating, mayhap? Frightening in that disconcerting way, where you’re afraid that if you lock eyes with that unblinking gaze for too long she’ll know she’s caught you and start to slowly swivel her head around upon her neck. And you
It’s a frightenator.
A frightenator! Yes! A fucking great frightenator.
Oh boy. I can see how my suggestion to feature the bacon scented mother’s day soap would fail/pale next to this.
I’m sorry. Next time I’ll try much harder. But probably not this hard.
Maybe your product shouldn’t sound like a sickness.
Now I can’t get “She has a bad case of the Mumpfs” out of my head….
They look like Strawberry Shortcake’s maxi pads.
Well, maybe you can help me sell my great-grandmother’s ELBOW PROTECTORS! Made for Civil War veterans. Like carefully sewn cotton rag doughnuts. My cousin and I are at a loss . . .
I see no reason why they wouldn’t be a hit on Etsy! Go for it!
The first thing I thought of was that she was trying for the Hellephant look, but then I realized she would have only needed to hang a piece of yarn on the one side for that to work. Well, that and wire the model’s mouth into a smile shape.
For some reason it makes me think “Katamari.”
Why is Prilosec’s cousin pushing a land mine down the street?
Na, na na na na na na-DAMMIT
I dunno, but I agree with HK that the “Mary Ann” look with ponytails pulled down fails the Mumfps whereas showcasing this with Fergie’s brass knuckle earrings kinda helps the Mumpfs to make a statement.
Albeit the statement is:
You wanna pillow fight, Biatch?
I wonder if you can bedazzle them for Toddlers and Tiaras.
Also perfect for that edgy girl during that upholstered to wooden headboard transition…
Winter to spring transition into what – a certified mental patient?
except for the name, these aren’t so goofy. I’m sure there are other, more incredibly strange things to post.
No… I don’t think so.
We’re talking about Etsy. Of course there are.
If I remember, you are correct. Goofy’s ears are not really similar to these. They’re likely the product of one of Dumbo and Rabbit’s drunken trysts.
Three or four items a day, five days a week, they can’t all be velvet paintings of the Duchess of Cambridge flogging Prince Harry.
Are you the guy who thinks standing in the middle of the woods wearing a tunic and holding a drinking horn is not at all silly?
isn’t there a vaccination for that?
Fur and baby bedding material as a fashion combo? It’s funny if you look through all of the pictures on the side…the more you look through them, the more spectacularly ugly and weird this thing looks.
Really, no one mentioned that the mumpfheads Etsy shop is called Hi Guys!!??
But… but… but… the video is “Hey Guys”!
Actually, this was the first version of what became the of the “flying fried egg” alien in the OG Star Trek. They fly across the room and land on your head, sucking your brian out. I assume the ones in the above picture are starving.
It seems like something old guys who dress up in diapers and baby clothes might like to wear.
…so THIS is what Fergie did with all that junk.
(All that junk inside her trunk.)
I suppose it’s handy to wear Potholders if you bake a lot and can’t be bothered trying to look for them on the counter.
Forget throw pillows for the bed, Mumpfs is throw pillows for your HEAD!
Equally as useless, only you can wear it in public and make people stare at you like you are a crazy homeless person…
“Forget throw pillows for the bed, Mumpfs is throw pillows for your HEAD!”
I guarantee I will think of this comment at inappropriate moments and laugh. Will keep you updated.
Skip that, she’s sold some even crazier headpieces
Because a missing tooth is so attractive.
Lost headshots for the “Clockwork Orange” auditions…even too strange for Kubrick.
Am I the only one that thinks Fergie actually makes the potholder headband look good?
What in the fluffy hell is wrong with these people?!
My brain hurts. Need more vodka.
OK, Katie Marie is one lucky woman:
“[T]his piece was made to be worn to the club, the party, the bookstore or the gas station. [O]ptional chinstrap and metal clips along the band insure you can dance your face off without adjusting your hat.”
That picture made me feel stabby.
It looks like a pin cushion orgy.
Well, this explains it! She was raised by wild gimaces! At least we can be sure she actually makes this stuff herself.
They look like they’re made from shoulder pads that have been cut out of blouses. I always throw them away. Damn, I could have made money off them.
Hey, it was originally posted on May 6, 2011. That’s my birthday. Yay. I’m getting a giraffe hat this year for my birthday (I’m super tall).
Worst case of static cling I’ve seen EVAH.
* even if it’s crap
That is not handmade – to borrow the original Regretsy slogan, it looks like she made it with her feet.
…yeah, the giant fluffy amoeba infestation look is better on Fergie.
I like Fergie’s brass knuckle earrings.
Yeah, because nothing says “edgy” like pastel colors and…what the Hell are those? Flowers? Strangely colored fruit?
Warning! Be careful. That’s actually a parasitic fungus. They are most common in arthropods, but apparently can affect crafters too. They cause complex behavior changes. Most noticeable the infected host will seek higher ground. This is done so that the spores have a better chance of spreading.
If you notice a fellow crafter, unexpectedly start climbing trees, step stools or just other tall people, run. It’s too late for them, and you don’t want to be around when the fungus’s fruiting bodies errupt from the victim’s head.
Okay, I have to say this. When I looked at the first model’s pic (in the etsy store, It looks like when the seller cropped the pic, the model was terrified by it! She only moved her lip to avoid having it cropped off. Regarding thr definition of “edgy” (edg·y /ˈejē/ Adjective: Tense, nervous, or irritable.) You would be irritable too from all of the laughter that follows you everywhere! And finnaly, regarding the other pic of a sold item posted here by “Upcycled_Love”, I am convinced her shop caters to Paraphilic Infantalism!
Who knows why, when I make my annual visit to Regretsy to look at each amazing post and all the photos, I stop at just one that is so horrific I must comment. I mean, no comment on the fetus soap? I’m fine with the placenta plate? the men with sticks didn’t move me? no.
What the FUCKING HELL is this?! In order even to call them by name I’d have to be speaking through a massive yeast infection. These things are SICKENING. I HATE THESE THINGS. If someone in a scooter needed on the elevator at a hospital and was wearing one of these I’d push them OUT with my boot. They don’t even deserve to be spoken to. Just KICK them downstairs. What morons. I don’t know why these make me so angry, but it’s not even worth analyzing. They are contemptable. And I bet the disgusting fleas who make them have REPRODUCED. And, VOTE. And DRIVE on MY STREETS. Maggots.
They must be stopped, Helen. Regretsy is fine, but DO something about this, for christsake.
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