Peck of the Day
- This post originally appeared on Regretsy on May 11, 2011
As you know, the elves at Etsy handpick an assortment of lovely num-nums to feature on their front page, using a very specific selection method. And by specific selection method, I mean throwing corn on a keyboard, and going with whatever the chicken happens to peck out.
Here’s a recent featured item:
Plus $24 shipping.
Which is fair.
But you have to give the seller points for sitting it on its side and calling it a bookend. That takes balls of steel. Which will be on the front page tomorrow, in a Mason Jar.
I don’t have to tell you that putting a brick on the front page generated some discussion on Etsy. And I also don’t have to tell you that discussion on Etsy is frowned on, unless it’s this discussion:
“Your stuff is cute!”
“Thanks! I <3 your store!"
But God bless the sane ones. They just keep asking questions, hoping for a breakthrough.
Oh they’ll enlighten you, all right. They’ll have to, because clearly you are too coarse and unaware to appreciate how beautiful the brick is.
Seriously, what’s the confusion? It’s fashionable. It’s also gorgeous and cool and vintage. Did I say cool yet? Because it’s also cool. Super cool. Kind of amazing you missed that, but oh well. Maybe you should be buying your bricks from a big box store since you obviously don’t get it. DOWN WITH BIG MORTAR!
Okay, maybe it is a piece of rubble you could find in a vacant lot. But it’s cool rubble and they want it really, really bad. Which is why it’s been up there for a month and nobody’s bought the fucking thing.
And that’s when help arrives.
I realize you might not have meant anything by asking a question, and maybe you were just wondering why valuable front page real estate is being used to promote horse shit like this, when you’re up all night knitting until your fingers are bleeding. But asking questions is getting a little close to wanting an answer, so just to be on the safe side, shut the fuck up. Thanks! <3
First they called out the brick sellers,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a brick seller.
Then they came for the copyright infringers,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a copyright infringer.
Then they came for the people selling clothes from Hot Topic and calling them vintage,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t selling clothes from Hot Topic and calling them vintage.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me, because they had all been muted.
PEOPLE WHO LIKE CRUMBLING BRICK ALSO LIKE:
UPDATE: after 6 months of hearts and likes, this piece of crumbling rubble finally did sell. Whoever bought it, bless your heart.