Etsy or Regretsy? Your Guesses and Answers
Earlier today I asked you to tell me which of the following items are real listings on Etsy, and which ones we made up. We have thoroughly enjoyed your guesses, and the tortured logic you’ve been using to make your decisions.
Here are your best guesses, and the correct answers.
1. PURPLE FESTIVE WINE GLASS CANDLE HOLDER
YOUR GUESSES:
“Regretsy because it’s too stupid?”
“First one is Regretsy because if it were from Etsy it’d have a story about how Cookie Monster had children with Barney the Dinosaur.”
“so Etsy. It just screams ‘cute fun blue/purple cupcake-y colors.’”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
2. ORANGE PUFF ADORNED BIC MINI LIGHTER
YOUR GUESSES:
“The lighter is probably regretsy, April probably had a craving for Cheetos and cigarettes that day.”
“Regretsy, because any actual Etsy cupcake dumb enough to make that would have tried to use it, and then died in the ensuing fire.”
“The lighter just has to be etsy. You can’t even try to be that stupid. It just happens naturally.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
3. PERFECTLY RUSTED NAILS
YOUR GUESSES:
“To sell ‘perfectly rusted nails’ is so clinically insane it has to be Etsy.”
“The rusty nails is texbook, classic etsy. no question.”
“Regretsy. If the words Somber Patina are being used to describe nails by someone who isn’t kidding then I may have to start fire-bombing,”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
4. ANTIQUE BARN WOOD DISPLAY, TRAY, CANDLE HOLDER
YOUR GUESSES:
“Barn Wood candle set is Regretsy, because…barnwood”
“Regretsy. Description seems mocking recent events, so if it’s not Regretsy, it’s a crazy coincidence.”
“Etsy. Come on! You’re making this too easy!”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
5. ECO-CONSCIOUS ORAMGE PEEL CITRUS VOTIVES
YOUR GUESSES:
“Etsy. I suspect April feeds the squirrels and tells the birds to go fuck themselves, they wake her up with all the noise”
“Etsy. Why? Squirrels. Because who doesn’t want to open a UPS box to find something that has been in a rodent’s mouth?”
“Also, I’m guessing the orange peels are Regretsy. Because they’re ‘in tack.’”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
6. HULK HOGAN DRAWING
YOUR GUESSES:
“Bronc drew it and cropped out more of the spiral binding than he did on the Kevin Dillon sketch, but I’m sure it’s Bronc’s work.”
“Is Hulk (c) 2012 clearly not the work of one Bronc Drywall?”
“I hope the Hulk drawing is real. I’d pay good money for that. I mean, it’s so wonderfully shit.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
Thanks for playing!
April 27, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Damn! The Hulk picture is already sold!
April 27, 2012 at 2:59 pm
That’s because it’s so wonderfully shit.
April 27, 2012 at 3:21 pm
That’s why I want it!
April 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm
It’s the red eyes, isn’t it?
April 28, 2012 at 7:16 am
Yeas but her woman with a mustache rocks!
April 27, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Ok which one of you bastards bought it?
April 27, 2012 at 2:53 pm
I fully believe that one day one of these posts, all of the items will be Etsy. Because WTF is wrong with you, Etsy?
April 27, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I already have the nails and am working on finding the barn wood. The organ peel candle holder will be easy with some sort Lucite. How you like me now?
April 27, 2012 at 3:50 pm
And here are more nails, for reals this time…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/70477605/
This one is a BOUQUET of nails…oh Etsy…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/90624719/
April 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm
….okay, yeah, now it’s booze o’clock
April 27, 2012 at 6:37 pm
allow me to mention that one of the tags on the
tetanusnail bouquet is “steampunk”! Yup, you heard me right.April 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm
“Length: Guesstimating 8 inches”
Art’s not really the word I’d use for last time someone guesstimated 8 inches in front of me.
April 27, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Goddamn, I guess the barn wood platform ISN’T too obvious.
April 27, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Yup. The barn wood was the one that I was sure had to be Regretsy. Nothing makes sense any more.
April 27, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Yeah. I may have to go shoot myself. Or the seller, because that shit just makes me despondent.
April 28, 2012 at 3:42 am
When I saw that the barnwood was real I started to gibber and flail about. Hell.
April 27, 2012 at 3:46 pm
I was desperately hoping the barnwood was fake because who is fucking stupid enough to use something flammable as a candle holder?
April 27, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Prepare for horror- go to etsy and look up barn wood candle holder. DOZENS OF THEM.
April 27, 2012 at 5:02 pm
This one seems like overkill:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/88456752/reclaimed-rustic-solid-oak-barn-wood?ref=sr_gallery_19&ga_search_query=barn+wood+candle&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=ZZ&ga_min=0&ga_max=0&ga_search_type=all
April 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Ooh, that could be the new motto.
Etsy: Fucking Stupid Enough.™
April 27, 2012 at 8:57 pm
I was sure for the same reason. Well, maybe this means that etsy the has potential to be one giant Darwin award factory.
April 27, 2012 at 9:56 pm
I got that one because it was allegedly “waxed and hand buffed.” I’ve noticed that when an Etsian is trying to sell an old board or piece of driftwood, and they have to do something to make it “hand crafted,” that they either wax it or apply tung oil.
April 27, 2012 at 10:40 pm
To be fair, who wouldn’t have guessed that barnwood photographed on barnwood had to be Regretsy? It is just too damned perfect.
April 27, 2012 at 2:54 pm
Okay, which one of you FJLs bought the Hulk?
April 27, 2012 at 2:54 pm
One wrong! Oh yeah, I’m getting good at this game!
April 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Me too! I missed the barn wood one. How about you?
April 27, 2012 at 8:31 pm
The freaking citrus votives.
April 27, 2012 at 9:58 pm
I SOOO wanted those “in tact” peels to be real.
April 28, 2012 at 1:14 am
Augh, the meta-barnwood got me too.
April 27, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I walked my mom through it and she literally got each one completely wrong.
April 27, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Oh good, so this means I can actually buy the Hulk Hogan drawing. You know, to prepare to watch his upcoming sex tape. (And that sound you just heard is thousands of people collectively vomiting.)
April 27, 2012 at 2:56 pm
I can’t believe someone bought the Hulk.
April 27, 2012 at 3:03 pm
I am glad that he is the ONLY thing that has sold so far.
April 27, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Au contraire, mon ami (amie?), he also sold this to our own Nasty Spitgobbler: http://www.etsy.com/listing/89615377/portrait-of-a-woman-with-a-moustache
I am jealous, so I wrote to the seller and asked if she does prints…or if the one that NS bought is truly a OOAK.
April 28, 2012 at 7:19 am
She has one more, Mugsy Doodle. Fight you for it.
April 29, 2012 at 11:59 am
She said she’d be getting more prints. Nasty Spitgobbler got the original, however.
April 27, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Which one of you jealous bastards bought the Hulk drawing?!
April 27, 2012 at 9:59 pm
The artist’s mommy.
April 27, 2012 at 2:56 pm
I suggest someone convo the Hulk Hogan seller and get them to make prints.
April 27, 2012 at 2:59 pm
LMAO
April 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Bronc, that seller is a lurker and has stolen your style of artwork. Sue the bastard…and get Kenneth White to send him a really good cease & desist. Please?
April 27, 2012 at 9:22 pm
Whoa.
I thot “Sue the bastard” was the the seller.
April 27, 2012 at 3:18 pm
I want one of Chuck Norris.
April 27, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Scary Hulk’s neck reminds me of a penis. I might have a complex here.
April 27, 2012 at 10:01 pm
A complex penis or a penis complex? (Does the latter sound like condos for peni).
April 27, 2012 at 2:58 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 27, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Shameless and deceptive plug. I’m calling shenanigans!! I don’t see a single rusty nail in any of your cute things.
April 27, 2012 at 3:06 pm
My eyes tried to tell me that the word “uterus” was in that first sentence.
April 27, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Oh, don’t give Etsians any ideas about combining old nails and vaginas and calling them “uterusty”.
April 27, 2012 at 10:03 pm
With rust colored blood!!
April 27, 2012 at 3:22 pm
I’ll sell ya some rusty nails…
April 27, 2012 at 4:01 pm
I could really use a few rusty nails right now, but no liquor on company premises.
April 27, 2012 at 10:54 pm
Someone drinks Drambuie?
April 27, 2012 at 3:31 pm
But are screws also available?
April 27, 2012 at 10:05 pm
If not, they are so loose that that should be available soon.
April 27, 2012 at 3:37 pm
I too would like to post a shameless plug.
No scruples at all, that plug.
April 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm
This is my new favorite thing.
April 28, 2012 at 12:01 am
It does have those three solid prongs… Oh my.
April 27, 2012 at 10:57 pm
Personally I forgive you because a) you identified it as a shameless plug and b) all your stuff is really lovely and unique, in an actual lovely and unique way, as opposed to the Etsy version of lovely and unique, which is actually neither.
April 27, 2012 at 2:58 pm
Yay, I got quoted by HK!
/honoured
April 27, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Me, too (2nd time…same type of item, too).
April 27, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Doesn’t it feel good? =D FJL pride
April 27, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Me too! *excited*
I’m going to go drink a cask of wine in celebration. Anyone with me?
April 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm
i almost wanted the nails to be Etsy, because it would just be so pathetically awesome.
April 27, 2012 at 3:01 pm
I was thinking “Oh thank God the nails are Regretsy!” Why pay good money buying rusty nails when you can do the work yourself for free?
As I do costume making that often calls for steel boning maybe I should just have some of it rust and then sell on Etsy?
The Etsy lighter is….disturbing.
April 27, 2012 at 6:52 pm
Yes, the lighter. Even disregarding the fact that it looks like some kind of badly-chewed child’s toy, it just doesn’t seem SAFE. Flammability-wise.
April 28, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Rusted steel boning — only for REAL steampunks.
April 27, 2012 at 3:03 pm
My worst fail yet… I was so sure the lighter and barn board were Regretsy but then I saw the Hulk and nails and squirrel-licked orange peel and my mind was boggled. I was actually thinking this could be an all- Regretsy day… At some point I started mumbling something about Iocane powder and keeled over without guessing.
April 27, 2012 at 5:24 pm
I was certain that every item was a Regretsy fake. I am hugely, hugely disturbed.
April 27, 2012 at 3:04 pm
I looked up the Hulk Hogan picture after posting my guesses (100%! Go me!) and there’s another artist who has a picture of Hulk Hogan fighting Mumm-Ra in a kitchen with cooking implements. HOLY FUCKING HOT SHIT I want that!
April 27, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Helen has used rusty nails in this game before. But the last time we played this game, they were an etsy item.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/90624719/long-rusted-nails-bouquet
Tetanus shots, anyone? Pass the needle over here, please…
April 27, 2012 at 3:27 pm
exactly! I knew they have been sold on etsy before, so I assumed it was etsy again. Is it fair if the items are sold, just not that particular listing? I think not. /poorloser
April 27, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Aha, I just searched rusty nails on Etsy a few minutes ago and posted that link further above. Guess great minds think alike? Now I just need to figure out what else I can make a “bouquet” out of. Old brake pads? Taxidermied squirrel entrails? OOH how about when my dog eats string and then it comes out the other end, a quick mod podge and voila, that would be inspirational.
April 27, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I’m just waiting for the lawsuit against the maker of the lighter cozy.. if that lady can sue Nutella because she thought eating gobs of it everyday was healthy, some jackass will buy this and then be pissed off when they burn the hell out of themselves.
April 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Wait, what? Someone sued my sweet, sweet Nutella? Skank.
April 27, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Yes. The claim was they didn’t understand it wasn’t a healthy thing to give your kids for breakfast. The settlement of $3 MILLION works out to around $4 per plaintiff, almost enough to buy another jar! And the lawyers for this crap-fest can eat theirs off of golden spoons.
April 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm
That’s what gets my knickers in a twist about class-action suits: The only winners are the lawyers, who accumulate as many plaintiffs as can be found, and then, like Yertle the Turtle, the lawyer(s) stand on top and reap the rewards.
If Kenneth White brought a class-action suit, I’d change my mind and join, just so I could receive all his marvelously written legalese.
April 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm
In most of Dr. Suess’ stories, there’s one line that makes me tear up. Yertle’s is the last line:
“And the turtles, of course… all the turtles are free
As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.”
April 27, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Thank you, Mutzali. That line was quiet and it made me tear up, too.
April 27, 2012 at 7:28 pm
The thing is that the purpose of class-action suits is typically not to reward the plaintiffs (who will get very little), but to punish the defendant. The point is not that each plaintiff gets $4; the point is that the defendant has to pay $3 million.
Let’s say an evil corporation harms all of its customers by overcharging each one of them $4 for their service, and making $3 million of ill-gotten gains. Will any one of the individual customers sue them to get their $4 back? Probably not. The only way to get them to pay for their sins is by a class-action suit.
April 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm
I am always so wrong! It’s a relief that the nails are fake, however.
April 27, 2012 at 3:10 pm
I got 4/6, not my best, not my worst.
I thought the Purple Festive whatever was Regretsy and it wasn’t. That depresses me.
Was positive the sketch was Regretsy/Bronc. Not so disturbed that I was wrong…but I was SO certain because of the spiral binding on the side and I really, really overthink these things.
April 27, 2012 at 3:10 pm
I am torn between being gutted because I got most of them wrong, or being ecstatic because one of my comments was used. I’ll go with ecstatic, pass the gin!
April 27, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I was hoping the lighter would be real, it’s so hideous and dangerous. I’ve just emailed her for different colours and bulk buys. My friends will be receiving these on birthday for the next year. I literally want hundreds of the little flammable bastards…
April 27, 2012 at 3:22 pm
gifts to kill your frenemies with?
April 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm
Tell her you’re a germaphobe and ask her to soak them in hand sanitizer first. That’ll guarantee ignition.
April 27, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I was wrong about the lighter and the barn wood display, which makes me very, very sad about the state of humanity.
April 27, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Me too, KrazyKat. Me too.
April 27, 2012 at 3:13 pm
I perused the Hulk artist’s shop and I’m quite impressed. Especially “Woman with Mustache,” which made me realize that if it doesn’t look like fish nor fowl, just draw badoobles all over it, Sharpie in a mustache and wa-lah (sic) … it’s art! I think I got every flippin’ one wrong this time, but I enjoyed playing. Where’s my Rice-A-Roni consolation prize?
April 27, 2012 at 3:16 pm
The San Francisco Treat!
April 27, 2012 at 3:27 pm
“Badoobles” is my new favorite word.
April 27, 2012 at 3:34 pm
I’m still stuck on ‘Bumptious’.
April 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Oh sorry, we’re all out of Rice-a-Roni. But here’s a copy of our home game: Just mix equal parts scotch, vodka, brandy, and gin then take a man’s pants!
April 27, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Thanks, Steamy! I had so much fun playing the game. Just one question…where do I take the man’s pants? Off? Or do I do something with them…”Take a man’s pants…and”?
April 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm
I got it from “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” so it’s hard to say for sure. They removed the pants then searched them for film and sent the man away. But that was a movie, of course. Guess we’ll have to make up our own rules.
Now if you’ll excuse me…my boyfriend just got home and I see some pants that need removing.
April 27, 2012 at 11:04 pm
I was so happy that I got that reference.
The film they were trying to get had a picture of the portly old diamond mine owner demonstrating the technique of a boa constrictor to Marilyn Monroe. Not even in a screwball romantic comedy could anyone think that awkward hug was anything romantic or erotic.
April 27, 2012 at 4:26 pm
I’m sorry I didn’t recognize the quote. I saw the (digitally restored) movie in a theatre last year. I’d never seen it in its entirety before. Zowie! The men’s gym scene alone could keep this gal warm on many a cold night…because I don’t have a boyfriend of my own, in or out of pants.
Have at him, Steamy–Make him forget his own name!
April 27, 2012 at 11:11 pm
I’ve always suspected that there’s a reason Jane Russell is cavorting around in a tight blouse and absolutely none of the men care.
April 27, 2012 at 3:14 pm
I’m going to use Somber Patina as my stripper name, since after art school I’ll have to pay my student loans somehow.
April 27, 2012 at 4:00 pm
I hope we get to work at the same place. Our names would go great together!
Sincerely, Morbid Veneer
April 27, 2012 at 3:15 pm
I knew the lighter was real. It’s too brilliant of a fire hazard to be fake. My favorite part of it has to be the visible cat hair stuck to it.
April 27, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Man, I didn’t guess a single thing right, even the ones I only guessed in my head.
April 27, 2012 at 3:21 pm
This is why I’ve stopped posting guesses. I’ve realized the futility of the exercise. I can only imagine the fiendish delight that goes into putting these posts together.
April 27, 2012 at 3:20 pm
damn i cant belive the nails werent real.. seeing ive seen it before.
the oranges.. im so glad thats not for real. … please dont change that anyone.
April 27, 2012 at 3:26 pm
I called them all except the rusty nails. I’m really surprised by that one.
April 27, 2012 at 3:27 pm
HA the drawing was sold! haha so funny that I can’t even be witty..
April 28, 2012 at 7:32 am
To be fair, I think that the drawing was bought by a FJL. Who then tried to make us all feel fatter and more jealous by announcing her purchase. In the game post.
April 27, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Why am I even trying to get a job? I should just pick up some crap around my parents’ house and yard, hot-glue the hell out of it, and open an Etsy store. Profit! The only strain would be in writing incompetent prose to please the hipsterish masses.
April 27, 2012 at 3:29 pm
just buy a book of inspirational quotes and use one for each listing. Done.
April 28, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Good idea. I’m off to go collect seed pods from under the magnolia tree out back. BRB.
April 27, 2012 at 3:28 pm
I knew the lighter was real because I remember someone linking to it in comments before. I stayed quiet, though!
I am very deeply saddened by the barnwood being real.
April 27, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Yep, I refused to answer the lighter question for that reason.
The whole thing makes me tired and quiet.
April 27, 2012 at 3:29 pm
LisaJune made the lighter holder? An Etsy admin did this and did not include any remnants of an Earl Grey teabag? The hairy lint shown on the close-up images was fitting though.
April 27, 2012 at 3:29 pm
So… can I still convo you for a screw?
April 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Is it bad that I feel sorry for the first one? A new shop with no sales that all the sudden has 2300 views of an item…She’s probably flipping out. Or having a glass of wine…
April 27, 2012 at 4:11 pm
3929 at last count. I feel bad for her as well. She’ll get all excited and then nothing will happen. She’ll go to the Etsy forums and ask what’s wrong with her shop…and she’ll get a crash course in Regretsy 101.
April 27, 2012 at 4:14 pm
And I actually like her Bejeweled Wine/Candle Holder. It looks like it would break my wrist to lift it, but I love the colors. The Mason jar takes away the coolness, though. Another glass jar or cup and I could see me displaying it.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/91179277/bejeweled-wine-candle-holder
April 27, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Mugsy, you need to step away from the monitor. I say this for your own good.
April 27, 2012 at 5:56 pm
You think so? It’s not the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen. And it’s not expensive and maybe I was blinded by the pretty stones.
Anywho, here’s what I sent her:
Hi,
A few questions:
1. What is the height?
2. Does the black extend down the other side on the bottom or is it just at top?
3. Can you post a photo from another angle?
4. Do you have any cups or glasses other than Mason jars? I really love the shape and the colors (I might consider purple and black or pink and black, but that’s not important now), but the Mason jar is too large for the proportions. Perhaps a smaller Mason jar?
5. Can you glue the stones around the edge of the jar itself? As you have it, I’d have to take off the lid to burn the candle and the stones on top are too pretty NOT to have the candle reflections.
I’m sorry to ask so many questions, but I like so much about this and you offered to do it in another color, so I know this is not the only one there is.
Thanks!
April 28, 2012 at 7:38 am
I think I love you in an dry old lady menopausal non commitment oriented kind of way.
April 27, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Holy cow, my first time NOT cheating (or at least checking my answers) and I got them right…
Never happen again.
April 27, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Wow, I only got two right. That Hulk artist has real talent, too. I bought this: Portrait of a Woman With A Moustache That’s right, bitches, this piece of awesomeness is MINE! I just hope my husband doesn’t have an aneurysm when it comes. He doesn’t appreciate fine art like I do.
April 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm
That’s SO not my taste in art, yet I find it fabulous. Damn, I would have bought that.
Is it an original or does he do prints?
Oh, by the way? I’m totes jelly.
*stalks off mumbling epithets*
April 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm
A-ha! I just heard from the seller and she’s willing to make a print of it. Just waiting to hear the details.
*dances around, ridiculously happy*
April 27, 2012 at 3:43 pm
I showed this game to my friends at work. They were highly amused by most of the stuff, but the lighter concerned them. One of them actually said to me, “I’ve done stupid stuff before, but not THAT stupid.”
And hooray for being quoted!
April 27, 2012 at 3:55 pm
I’m so glad the rotten orange votive holders are fake. It would hurt too much if they were real.
April 27, 2012 at 4:08 pm
One of these days, you should make one of these AND sell it on Etsy.
Etsy AND Regretsy. That’d fuck us up but good.
April 27, 2012 at 4:11 pm
5 for 5! April, the perfectly rusted nails weren’t your best work. That’s pretty obviously a “rusty nails” search on Google Images because all the nails aren’t even the same shape… instead of the same nails on 4 different “artsy” backgrounds”.
I appreciated the gimmie though, I was totally stumped last time.
April 27, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Shit, this is harder than I thought. The lighter and barn wood were the only ones I got right.
April 27, 2012 at 4:24 pm
I can’t believe the lighter is Etsy. I don’t trust my own perception of reality anymore. I have to go lie down.
April 27, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Oh man did I blow this one, only 2 right! My fave has to be the suicide lighter though.
I’m thinking this is some serious inspiration for me in my artistic ability, my shop will soon runneth over with flammable stuff glued to stuff that starts fires. Ill call it my “gonna blow my brains out with a glue gun” line.
April 29, 2012 at 7:41 am
I love this iteration of it — not only is it a suicide lighter, but birds died as well to help make it! http://www.etsy.com/listing/87280152/pocket-lighter-feathered-accessory
April 27, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Like I said, the lighter was made by Etsy staff royalty.
Thankfully, she can’t come here and wrap up this conversation.
April 27, 2012 at 5:27 pm
According to her other profile http://www.etsy.com/people/lisajune :
“I’m a fan of intersectionality, controlled fires, comics, and chocolate.”
That second one explains a lot, actually.
April 29, 2012 at 7:43 am
Controlled fires, comics and chocolate – surely she could combine all of those in one product?
April 27, 2012 at 4:53 pm
I still want to buy the wine glass and the lighter. Then destroy them, and film myself destroying them. Then send the video to the sellers. STOP GLUING SHIT TO OTHER SHIT!
Excuse me, I just took a long hot bath, with a shaker full of martinis at my side. And I was reading Burton’s “Arabian Nights” and scaring the neighbors by reciting Baudelaire and Verlaine loudly. Just a typical Friday night for me.
April 27, 2012 at 4:59 pm
I think regretsy got trolled by the bic lighter. Everything else on that seller’s page is rather artistic jewelry… No whimsical fuckery in sight.
April 27, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Damn, I’m really missing out on a market here. I’ve got a slab of barn wood in my kitchen window right now my 7 year old pulled out of the creek as a “gift” to me. I should send him down there to see what other shit he can find. $36 for a chunk of barn wood and no labor on my part, hells yeah!
April 27, 2012 at 6:03 pm
I’m thinking of buying the lighter just to keep it out of the hands of stupid people. Good idea?
April 27, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Ugh, I did it. I couldn’t pass up the chance at fuckery history. Besides, only I can prevent barnwood fires.
April 28, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Aaaand it backFIRED. She now has 4 more embellished lighters. Only one looks quite as dangerous. http://www.etsy.com/shop/radicals?ref=seller_info
April 27, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Yay! The pompom lighter I submitted was posted! I love that one in particular as it was created by an Etsy admin
April 27, 2012 at 6:22 pm
I kind of like some of her other things, but why does it cost $71 to ship a pair of earrings? http://www.etsy.com/listing/64178855/sterling-silver-dangle-earrings-turtle
April 27, 2012 at 7:15 pm
She might be sending it registered mail, since it’s jewelry. Either that, or she’s delivering them by hand and you’re paying for part of her plane ticket.
April 27, 2012 at 8:38 pm
I suspect it’s a misprint. All the other jewelry is $7 shipping.
April 28, 2012 at 7:42 am
YOU GUYS MISSED THE BEST PART OF HER SHOP!!!
radicals
SCANDAL LIES & ACCESSORY
April 27, 2012 at 6:19 pm
Wow. I got all but one wrong (the lighter, please). The only thing that makes me feel a little better is that I still did better than my husband.
April 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm
That lighter is so so so stupid, I could barely believe it was real. What the fuck is wrong with people?
And that glass thing up top, did a pre schooler make that?
April 27, 2012 at 6:42 pm
I guessed every one correctly. Feel… broken…
April 27, 2012 at 7:18 pm
gosh what do you know i was wrong on almost all of them LOL,
April 27, 2012 at 7:40 pm
barn wood ON barn wood? that’s it i quit *gunshot* *thump*
April 27, 2012 at 11:16 pm
BARNCEPTION!
April 27, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Bamboozled again! At least I wasn’t COMPLETELY wrong!
April 27, 2012 at 9:17 pm
If anyone needs any rusty nails or screws let me know I can probably find a few thousand in my grandfathers old barn (alas the barn is tin not wood). He grew up in the Depression and never was able to throw anything away. And I just came up with a easy and cheap way to ship them. I live near a few major North and South traffic corridors and I can just take the nails to one and scatter them on the interstate. You just go to your closest interstate and look for the cars with flat tires.
April 28, 2012 at 4:17 am
Tin barn wood? That’s steam punk.
April 28, 2012 at 1:32 am
Okay but can squirrels peel oranges whole? I really hope that part is true.
April 28, 2012 at 3:50 am
Yes, they can! Because they now can own the Ronco fruit peeler for squirrels!!! It does everything from smooshy grapes to the toughest coconuts!!!
But that’s not all! . . .
April 28, 2012 at 6:55 am
It’s me – I got The Hulk. The artist is actually really sweet, and she offered to draw any other 80′s pop culture icon upon request. I’m thinking this may be a golden opportunity for April’s Army… So many directions to take this!
April 28, 2012 at 7:44 am
Holy gudmuck I LOVE her work! I’m thinking you are on to something Quinnderella.
April 28, 2012 at 7:53 am
I just bought her watercolor mummy. I’m putting it in the guest bedroom. She has two prints of mustache lady so you guys are in LUCK!
April 28, 2012 at 9:39 am
About the ligher: I wish I didn’t know this about humanity now.
The barn wood bullshit, the price is 34$, but shipping is 15.45$, even with another item. So your satin finished hunk of barn wood is going to cost you 50$!!!!!!!!
Who the fuck does this seller think their kidding? My grandfather was a farmer, with, yes, a barn. In my experience, barn wood is not smooth, it is rough, and it tends to smell like whatever was farmed, after years of absorbing the surrounding odors, which in my grandfather’s case was cow shit, from his cows. He didn’t keep any bulls though, so no bullshit!
April 28, 2012 at 12:19 pm
My grandfather was a farmer! The (insert use for barnwood plank) is rough, authentic! It tends to smell like whatever was farmed, after years of absorbing the surrounding odors! He didn’t keep any bulls though, so no bullshit!!!!
There. Description ready for your Etsy product. I’ll take 10% commission.
April 28, 2012 at 12:25 pm
the halk one is sold. damn. Portrait of a Woman with a Moustache is awesome too but they don’t ship to canada. boo-hoo
April 28, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Holy crap the lighter sold!
April 28, 2012 at 4:46 pm
Anybody else read “somber patina” as “somber piñata?” No? Just me? ..I’ll be in my corner.
April 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Lighter seller now has 4 new fire hazards posted. Only one looks lethal. http://www.etsy.com/shop/radicals?ref=seller_info
April 30, 2012 at 6:50 pm
Mr. Barnwood dude got his logo words in the wrong order, so I fixed ‘em.
rePurposed
reUsed
reDesigned