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Etsy or Regretsy?

It’s time to play…

Here’s how this works:

At least one of these things is a real listing on Etsy. At least one of these things was completely invented by us.

The question is, which is the Etsy, and which is the Regretsy?

Make your best guesses in the comments, but don’t cheat (if you do cheat, don’t post spoilers).

Answers will be posted in a few hours.

306 comments on Etsy or Regretsy?

  1. Rev. Back It On Up 13
    April 27, 2012 at 9:33 am

    The wine glass has to be etsy, because that can’t be your kitchen. Those pictures of coffee cups on the wall would only be yours if there were hands wrapped around them, stretching them open, goatse style.

    Hulk Hogan has to be Regretsy because it’s only $5 and has a nipple pattern background.

    The rest are too depressing to ponder.

    Thumb up Thumb down +70

    • Tulabear
      April 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

      The guy with the nails…
      He also has screws.

      Thumb up Thumb down +21

      • Rev. Back It On Up 13
        April 27, 2012 at 9:55 am

        I would like to know how he can guarantee their vintage. Do I get a certificate or something?

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • invisiblezipper
        April 27, 2012 at 10:24 am

        I’m sure they’re loose.

        Thumb up Thumb down +27

    • Poisonne
      April 27, 2012 at 9:58 am

      Agreed; I spent too long looking for the deep fryer in the background. Given that it was omitted, it can’t be April’s kitchen.

      Thumb up Thumb down +33

    • daisyj
      April 27, 2012 at 10:20 am

      Yes, but April knows how our minds work here*, and I would not put it past her to take the picture in someone else’s kitchen just to throw us off.

      The decorated screw-on lid is a nice touch, too.

      *Alcohol, snark.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • stayloose
        April 27, 2012 at 10:45 am

        April is two drunken steps ahead of us! She would know, for example, to cover only 92% of the bic lighter in pom poms…

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

        • mutzali
          April 27, 2012 at 11:50 am

          I can’t wait to see those pompoms erupt into flame.

          Thumb up Thumb down +28

        • portable wig
          April 27, 2012 at 2:41 pm

          Those pom poms sure have a lot of pet hair in them, is that to slow down the combustibility of the 92% pom pom poly blend coverage?

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • stayloose
      April 27, 2012 at 10:43 am

      No no no, they are all too depressing to ponder. None of these things can be for sale. I’ll need to up my prozac dosage.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • inklets
      April 27, 2012 at 11:15 am

      I was thinking the same thing about the candle holder, but what if she photographed it at a friend’s house?

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • portable wig
      April 27, 2012 at 3:45 pm

      So does April go to the Etsy search box and type in “shit glued to other shit” to create this game? Because I think that should definitely be a viable search phrase on Etsy. The artisans could use it in their tags list.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  2. RobotInBloom
    April 27, 2012 at 9:34 am

    The first is Regretsy because…. I dunno. I feel it in my bones.

    Hulk Hogan is Regretsy because no Etsy “artist” would have colored in the bloodshot whites so adroitly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • choctopus
      April 27, 2012 at 9:58 am

      I want that to be etsy because with the bloodshot eyes, Hulk looks remarkably like Jar Jar Binks. And that’s master craftsmanship right there.

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

  3. Jemmy
    April 27, 2012 at 9:35 am

    I don’t pray often, but when I do, it seems to always be that a listing in this game is fake.

    A lighter with attached tinder? Please god, please give me a sign that this isn’t real, because I’m almost certain that it is.

    Lighter, nails, and barnwood tray are Regretsy. I don’t think that top one is April’s kitchen.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

    • Chronic Glitter Lung
      April 27, 2012 at 9:39 am

      What, you think April doesn’t have any friends who would let her use their kitchen to photograph a combo candle holder/wine glass with fluff pasted on it?

      Shame on you. April has LOTS of friends.

      Thumb up Thumb down +31

      • Poisonne
        April 27, 2012 at 10:32 am

        Fat Jealous Losers don’t get friends! What have you gotten into so early in the day? Tsk.

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

        • RevW
          April 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm

          Oh, bosh. In April’s case, it is – Etsy or Regretsy! : friends, followers, disciples, sycophants, entourage, turnips, admirers, envious wannabees, hirelings, goons, fans, audiencios, team ?

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • Mugsy Doodle
            April 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm

            Lackeys, peons, underlings, yes-people, ass-kissers, butteruppers?

            Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • pixiemartin
            April 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm

            I like to think she has an army of henchlosers doing her bidding.

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • gracejessica
      April 27, 2012 at 9:40 am

      I just choked on a bagel. I could’ve been the first Regretsy post related death. On record anyway.

      Thumb up Thumb down +29

      • stayloose
        April 27, 2012 at 10:48 am

        There have been some Regretsy post related deaths, but I think they were mainly people’s dreams.

        Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • toaster
      April 27, 2012 at 10:20 am

      That lighter is Etsy because of course there’s a seller on Etsy that thinks gluing flammable shit to a lighter is a good idea.

      Thumb up Thumb down +29

    • stayloose
      April 27, 2012 at 10:55 am

      Thumb up Thumb down +141

      • Mugsy Doodle
        April 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

        More thumbs!!!

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

        • kittynaed
          April 27, 2012 at 11:57 am

          I’m going with Etsy across the board, excluding the Orange candle holder thing. I am hoping the fact that they’re photoed on a towel is a making fun of Etsy thing, as opposed to someone actually using a nubby towel instead of, say, a smooth sheet or something.

          Thumb up Thumb down +11

          • kittynaed
            April 27, 2012 at 11:58 am

            That was supposed to be a comment all by itself down at the bottom, not a reply. SORRY!

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • stayloose
          April 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm

          Thanks!! =D

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • DollarStorePregnancyTest
      April 27, 2012 at 2:35 pm

      Re: Flammable lighter

      Natural selection at work, people. Leave it alone and let it take its course.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • Mugsy Doodle
        April 27, 2012 at 4:46 pm

        Let’s confuse them and say it’s INflammable and then sit back (far away) and see how many Darwin Awards will be earned.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  4. Shmoops
    April 27, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Hot Barnwood on Barnwood action! I am stumped, these are all equally wonderful and stupid at the same time. I really want the puff lighter though, but I can make that myself for less that $7. That’s likely real Etsy. I think the orange peel votive holder is Regrestsy: i like to imagine April and Bronc really do have squirrels in their back yard.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • kimoutre
      April 27, 2012 at 10:30 am

      I’d like to think that April couldn’t bring herself to write that the squirrels leave the peels “in tack”. Good camouflage if she did, though!

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

  5. krazykrakhed
    April 27, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Etsy, Regretsy, Etsy, Regretsy, Etsy and Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • krazykrakhed
      April 27, 2012 at 9:43 am

      I imagine myself in the fetal position, rocking back and fort repeating this.

      Thumb up Thumb down +48

      • Uncle Vanya
        April 27, 2012 at 2:15 pm

        Why imagine, when you can make it real? I have done so in my complete lack of artistic ability.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • CallMeMouse
      April 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

      I agree. Though I really wish the nails and the Hulk Hogan drawing were Regretsy, I just have a feeling that they aren’t. *sigh*

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  6. WANNA POST ALL NIGHT
    April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

    The Hulk Hogan drawing is Regretsy, and everything else is legit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Mugsy Doodle
      April 27, 2012 at 10:11 am

      The word “legit”…it doesn’t mean what you think it means.

      Thumb up Thumb down +32

      • Skadi The Slamazon
        April 27, 2012 at 10:30 am

        You keep using that word, I do not think it means, what you think it means.

        Princess Bride for the win.

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

        • Mugsy Doodle
          April 27, 2012 at 1:01 pm

          *eye roll*

          So didn’t get the quote exactly verbatim word for word from the movie. So sue me!

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • AbbyCat
            April 27, 2012 at 1:08 pm

            I’ve got dibs on retaining Kenneth White for this!

            Thumb up Thumb down +9

          • Mugsy Doodle
            April 27, 2012 at 2:09 pm

            Ha! My evil plan worked. *I* got dibs on being deposed and cross-examined by him, using all that hot legal language of his, and after a nasty cross on the stand, he’ll end with, “And Ms. Doodle, may I make a suggestion? Snort my taint. I have nothing else, Your Honor.” So there!

            Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • Skadi The Slamazon
            April 27, 2012 at 10:18 pm

            It is all good.

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

  7. GlitterFairy
    April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Every damn one of them looks like something you’d find on Etsy. I’m going to say the pom pom lighter and the citrus peel candles are Regretsy, as I’m having fun imagining Helen crafting that fuckery!

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • kat
      April 27, 2012 at 10:06 am

      Say whaaaa? Were I given all of these things, the only one I WOULDN’T throw in the garbage would be the orange peel! It’s a cute idea. She admits the peel will burn too, but that’s just nice natural incense. I sure hope you’re right about the lighter though. That thing sucks like a black hole.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • Jemmy
        April 27, 2012 at 10:27 am

        I’ve done the Pinterest fill half a Cutie with olive oil and light the fiber wick thing, and it actually works nicely, so I figure this is real. Since I paid for the pleasure of eating the citrus there’s no reason not to enjoy the peel. However, it’s not something I’d pay someone else for.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • GlitterFairy
        April 27, 2012 at 10:29 am

        Don’t misunderstand me; finding it on Etsy and wanting to throw it in the garbage are not mutually exclusive things.

        Thumb up Thumb down +17

  8. Anonymys
    April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Etsy.
    Regretsy.
    Regretsy.
    Etsy.
    Etsy.
    Etsy.

    Gods, I wish they were all fake, but the orange peel one’s gross enough to be legitimate.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  9. PandaJ
    April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

    They are ALL real!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  10. aen13
    April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am

    I hope the pom pom lighter is regretsy… I had a premonition the second I saw it of it going up in flames and taking a hipster with it….

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

    • Miso
      April 27, 2012 at 9:40 am

      And that’s a bad thing how? ;)

      Thumb up Thumb down +24

      • Poisonne
        April 27, 2012 at 10:35 am

        I envy the rest of you; my insurance suffers if a hipster goes up in flames around me. :(

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • Mugsy Doodle
          April 27, 2012 at 1:02 pm

          Wait, your insurance company didn’t issue you a bedazzled fire extinguisher that clips on your belt? You might want to think about changing plans.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Wednesday
      April 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

      I think I’ve seen the pompom lighter on Etsy, but I’m calling Regretsy because sometimes the flashbacks confuse me.

      Also, I’m guessing the orange peels are Regretsy. Because they’re “in tack.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • pearlheartgtr
        April 27, 2012 at 11:58 am

        xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
        xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
        xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

        NO CHEATING – BD

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • bootsychoo
      April 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

      I really hope that the hipster also owns the orange peel votive holder, so that when the hipster lights the candle & catches fire, he/she gives off a delightful citrus scent.

      You know, instead of their usual aroma of organic hummus & desperation.

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

      • goatse for yourself
        April 27, 2012 at 12:08 pm

        Don’t forget the patchouli.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

  11. chevrox
    April 27, 2012 at 9:37 am

    EEERER.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • rmw1982
      April 27, 2012 at 9:54 am

      My cats make that same noise just before they hork up a hairball.

      Thumb up Thumb down +44

      • Mugsy Doodle
        April 27, 2012 at 10:13 am

        Shellac the hairball to vintage barnwood, write up a cupcakey story, slap it up on Etsy, and wah-lah, those cats will be paying for shrimp for themselves AND you!

        Thumb up Thumb down +25

        • deadelvis
          April 27, 2012 at 10:27 am

          I collect my cat’s hairballs and weave them into stylish cat-hair babushkas.

          Thumb up Thumb down +12

          • Victoria Regina
            April 27, 2012 at 11:19 am

            I hope you all know that Sunday is National Hairball Awareness Day. Really.

            Thumb up Thumb down +9

          • cardsnark
            April 27, 2012 at 11:49 am

            You’re going to have to list your cat’s full name in your collective, then.

            Thumb up Thumb down +16

        • rmw1982
          April 27, 2012 at 11:44 am

          Good idea. It’s about time those furry little bastards started pulling their weight around here.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

          • Mugsy Doodle
            April 27, 2012 at 1:03 pm

            And if you’re going to claim that you’re not a reseller, please submit a photograph of your cat(s) coughing up said hairball on today’s newspaper. Thank you for your help in adhering to Etsy’s Code of Ethics and Have Yourself a Sunshiney Day! :D

            Thumb up Thumb down +8

          • Tulabear
            April 27, 2012 at 3:06 pm

            It would take a helluva lot for my cat to pull her own weight. She’s a lard ass.

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

  12. Chronic Glitter Lung
    April 27, 2012 at 9:37 am

    I’m gonna say the Bic lighter is Regretsy because, dear God, I hope the Bic lighter is Regretsy!

    Other guesses:

    ETSY:
    The wine glass, the nails, and Hulk Hogan

    REGRETSY:
    Bic and Barnwood

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • Chronic Glitter Lung
      April 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

      Oh, and the votives are Etsy.

      That’s my prediction, and I’m standing by it, although not very staunchly, until told otherwise.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  13. phynx
    April 27, 2012 at 9:37 am

    The lighter just has to be etsy. You can’t even try to be that stupid. It just happens naturally.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

    • mfj
      April 27, 2012 at 10:00 am

      As someone who rarely starts fires, I never would have thought about how dangerous it is to cover a lighter with “tinder”, as Jemmy put it.

      I just thought it looked like an orange turd with undigested plastic in the middle.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  14. moi
    April 27, 2012 at 9:37 am

    I say everything except the lighter is Etsy.

    There is an inherent talent of the bad Etsy crafter to take pics of their items with a background full of things like dirty dishes and other distracting crap. HK is not a bad Etsy crafter, so she does not possess the talent to take a pic a pic such as that first one. I would have believed that one to be regretsy if not for that.

    The rusty nails is texbook, classic etsy. no question.

    The barnwood–I would like to think that HK would not stoop to actually going out and getting barnwood to mock up the photo.

    I’m a bit torn on the orange peel candle…but, I have to ask myself “is it possible?” and I have to answer, “yes, yes it is.” Therefor I’m going with Etsy on that one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • Spacker
      April 27, 2012 at 10:36 am

      Yep, the lighter struck (geddit?) me as soon as I saw it.

      I mean, no way would Etsy Towers risk their sprauncy $stupidamount OOAK archway curtains going up in a restaging of a way-uncool Kurt Russell movie with that – I mean, surely they get a free sample of everything listed as the Official DUMBO way of checking for resellers. How else could the newly-creamed dozen of specially-deployed admins possibly know what’s kosher-crafted now that Chief FingerTache has banned the I Ching and tea-leaf methods as being culturally uncool? It only takes one yummy kook to be looking up and to the right whilst lighting their Gitane for that entire hive of combustible dreck to fry their arses.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  15. mozaleia
    April 27, 2012 at 9:37 am

    the lighter is regretsy because… glueing shit to other shit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • Mugsy Doodle
      April 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

      But, “gluing shit to other shit” is the unspoken motto of Etsy (unspoken only because they don’t use such *shudders* not-nice language there).

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  16. syphillicious
    April 27, 2012 at 9:37 am

    The Hulk looks as if he’s been using Meth for a few years.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  17. killgore trout
    April 27, 2012 at 9:37 am

    yes, use the top one as a wine glass, and maybe if yer lucky, when you wash it, all the shit will fall off…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • gelcat
      April 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

      crap – see my comment down below

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  18. lilynymph
    April 27, 2012 at 9:37 am

    first one is not April’s kitchen. No way do you have those damned coffee cup pictures. If you do dude, you need to put that Hulk picture up instead cause I think you can buy it on Etsy as well.
    Regretsy: orange tealight holder, lighter.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  19. RAWRmonster
    April 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

    The orange puff lighter has to be Etsy. Only Etsy would be stupid enough to cover a lighter in flammable fluff. Then again…did you start drinking already today, HK?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  20. frickineh
    April 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

    I don’t care which ones are real and which are fake. I just get a lot of joy picturing April making some enormously shitty crafts just for us.

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  21. chaotick
    April 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Wine glass – Regretsy
    Lighter – Etsy
    Nails – Etsy
    Candles on Barnwood – Regretsy
    Orange Peel Votive – Etsy
    Hulk Hogan – Etsy

    Am I even close???

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Robots
      April 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

      I think I have to agree with you, but damn, these aren’t getting any easier!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  22. tinkerjenn
    April 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Hulk is Regretsy. $5? riiiiight.

    Barn Wood candle set is Regretsy, because…barnwood

    the rest are depressingly Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  23. gracejessica
    April 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

    All Etsy except the first one. I feel like I’ve seen that kitchen before……..

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  24. Shaniataint
    April 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

    I’m thinking the nails are Regretsy because of the talk of the plentiful screws at the end. All the rest are probably Etsy, dude help us.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  25. Blairness
    April 27, 2012 at 9:39 am

    The lighter is probably regretsy, April probably had a craving for Cheetos and cigarettes that day.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  26. MissPlace
    April 27, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Aw man, these ones are fiendishly difficult.

    #1 Candleholder: Etsy. I can’t see HK having pompoms just lying around the house to use on this.
    #2 Lighter: Etsy. For the same reason as the first one.
    #3 Nails: Etsy. If this is not a real listing, it’s not because there aren’t already a few dozen real ones already like it on Etsy.
    #4 Barnwood: Etsy. This is a tough one, but I think this is something someone would actually do.
    #5 Nasty Votives: Etsy. The squirrels leave the rinds IN TACK. This is too foul to be fake.
    #6 Hulk Hogan: Regretsy. Ironically, good artists are sometimes the best at drawing something intentionally bad.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  27. Burn The Internet
    April 27, 2012 at 9:39 am

    I’m going to guess the first one is Regretsy because April got drunk last night and redecorated her kitchen with a yuppie soccer mom.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Helen Killer
      April 27, 2012 at 9:46 am

      Or maybe we took pictures in someone else’s kitchen. That could happen. If we had friends.

      Thumb up Thumb down +38

      • Laminator
        April 27, 2012 at 9:52 am

        Us FJLs don’t have friends!

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • Steampunk Octopus
          April 27, 2012 at 11:14 am

          But HK is the Queen of FJLs. Surely one of her minions lives nearby.

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

          • Mugsy Doodle
            April 27, 2012 at 1:08 pm

            I think living near her is Prerequisite #1 to be a HK minion.

            Thumb up Thumb down +3

  28. Hailstorm
    April 27, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Let’s see…
    Wine glass–so Etsy. It just screams “cute fun blue/purple cupcake-y colors”.
    The lighter–still Etsy. Only there can you find a beautifully adorned orange puff lighter.
    Rusted nails–Etsy. Personally, I wouldn’t go for it. Hello, tetanus shot office, how can I help you? What’s that, you say? You were using rusted nails in a craft and stabbed yourself? Oh my goodness me, you might want to see a doctor about that…
    Antique barnwood holder–Regretsy. At least I’m hoping that it is.
    The orange peels–Etsy. I can’t even think of a coherent reason.
    And finally, the Hulk Hogan drawing–Regretsy. I can’t imagine someone selling that for only five dollars. It’s too priceless!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  29. tface23
    April 27, 2012 at 9:41 am

    The Barnwood has to be Regretsy. If it was Etsy it would be “vintage re-purposed barnwood candle holder”

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  30. MiriH
    April 27, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Pretty darn depressing that most of us are not sure of ANY of these… Sad state of affairs. But thanks for making it pretty darn funny too!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • kimoutre
      April 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

      I know, I can easily see any of these fitting right in in Cupcakeland. Very scary!

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  31. gelcat
    April 27, 2012 at 9:44 am

    the scariest thing is that my local craft supply store is hawking ‘red neck wine glasses’, which is a pint mason jar glued to a short candle stick as the ‘stem’ – they look like they would fall apart at the first ‘tink’ – and putting a stem on a mason jar defeats the red neck definition anyway – and yes, there are some with ribbons decorating the candlestick – very very scary – as a farm girl, just give me the damn jar- at least it’s glass, unlike SOLO cups….

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • Invidosa
      April 27, 2012 at 9:57 am

      Oh mercy, we can add that little fact to the “reasons to kill yourself sooner rather then later” list

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • FilliamHMuffman
      April 27, 2012 at 12:42 pm

      I remember thinking the redneck wine glasses were amusingly stupid– but selling them premade, not selling mason jars, cheap candlesticks and glass glue?

      That’s fucking STOOPID.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  32. WorriedButMostlyTired
    April 27, 2012 at 9:44 am

    Oh man. I’m stumped. Or barnwooded, whatever.

    All Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  33. eitherorlok
    April 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

    Lighter: Regretsy
    Everything else: Etsy

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  34. JoyM
    April 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

    The Hulk Hogan drawing may, just possibly, have some teensy tiny amount of artistic value, so I’ll vote for Etsy. The rest of it is pure shit, so I really really really hope no one is actually selling anything that useless but I’m sure some of it is Etsy anyway. I’m guessing Regretsy for the rusty nails, because “screws also available” sounds like something April would write.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  35. formulaforfire
    April 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

    I think the nails are fake because of “screws available too”. *snicker*

    Reminds me of the time when I was 15 and we were putting up sheetrock in our basement. My mom and I would support a piece while my dad nailed it in. Then we would let go and he would fasten it securely with screws. My mom innocently suggested he teach me how to screw. We were all done for the night after that.

    I also hope the pompom is fake- I hope no one would think putting flammable fuzz balls near and open flame is a good idea.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  36. LtotheE
    April 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

    Barnwood candle tray = Regretsy. Etsy “crafters” aren’t usually that brazen. They usually coat their bullshit in creamy nonsensical poetry.

    The “in tack” fruit candle holders has to be April. I really hope those aren’t real.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  37. matildajoseph
    April 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

    wine glass is definitely Etsy.
    Nails, Etsy
    Barnwood, Etsy
    Orange Peels, Regretsy because if not my heart is sad for the person who would spend money on shipping orange peels.
    Hulk Hogan, unfortunately, is most likely Etsy

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  38. Lola
    April 27, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Ooh, this one’s harder! Hmmm….
    Regretsy because it’s too stupid?
    Regretsy because it’s worse than the google eyes.
    Etsy because hipsters go apeshit over rust, apparently.
    Etsy because I actually believe the barnwood story here.
    Regretsy because lol.
    Etsy because we’ve seen so much of this kind of work before!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  39. schopenhauer
    April 27, 2012 at 9:47 am

    hulk hogan is regretsy because no artist pretentious enough to include a copyright symbol next to their signature would sell anything for as little as $5.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  40. turtleboyahoy
    April 27, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Regretsy:
    Pom Pom lighter of Death (if it is Etsy, I hope someone from the Etsy staff buys it and uses it…once)

    Orange tealight holders — to go with the seedpods from previous game. Apparently April and Bronc have their own Jellystone park in their back yard.

    Hulk: courtesy of Bronc. The artist clearly reveals Hulk’s soul.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • kat
      April 27, 2012 at 10:15 am

      Don’t you wish it was a refillable lighter, so they could spill butane on the pompoms?

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • Mugsy Doodle
        April 27, 2012 at 11:40 am

        From you lips to a hipster crafter’s glue-gun ear!

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

  41. FireSong
    April 27, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Etsy: It’s equal parts hideous and hilarious. It has to be real.
    Regretsy: I’m a little iffy on this one – I feel like it would have also been rolled in glue and glitter were it real, though. Kind of like Kesha.
    Regretsy: The “screws also available” got me.
    Etsy: Sadly, I’ve seen similar things for sale.
    Regretsy: LOLoranges.
    Etsy: It just…can’t be fake… I feel like, if it’s fake, it’ll be like being told Santa Clause isn’t real all over again.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  42. CanadianByMarriage
    April 27, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Candle/Votive holder – ETSY – I agree with first poster. I expect April would have a Level 4 cat or a bitmap drawing of Spock in her kitchen.
    Pom Pom lighter – REGRETSY (I hope) Nothing says flammable like cotton balls glued to a butane lighter.
    Nails – REGRETSY – They look like stock photos and the “skies” typo seems very April.
    Barnwood Candles – ETSY – Photo taken on dirty floor with crack in it. Nuff said.
    Orange candles – ETSY – Selling a dried-up, rotten, orange peel is exactly what those homemade bajingo-wash using hippies would do.
    Hulk Hogan Drawing – REGRETSY – It looks like Bronc’s handiwork and sadly, even though he was probably trying to do a crappy drawing, it’s WAY better than some of the shit people actually try to sell.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  43. blu_canary
    April 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

    Ok. Here’s my logic on the first one, try to follow along: April made the wine/candle disaster. BUT, did not take the photo in her own house. She went to the apartment of her mailman’s daughter’s cousin’s ex-wife who HAS an Etsy shop and takes her photos in this exact spot. However, it isn’t listed in the shop. So, Etsy quality photos at a Regretsy price!

    So, I guess that I’m saying R-glass, R-lighter, E-nails, E-barnwood, E-oranges, R-Hogan.

    I just realized I’ve spent more time logicking this out than I spent studying for most of my exams in college.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  44. Vagrarian
    April 27, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Etsy, just tacky enough.
    Etsy, just stupid enough.
    Regretsy, a bit too perfect.
    Etsy, just barnwoody enough.
    Regretsy, a bit too stupid.
    Etsy, just freaky enough.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Vagrarian
      April 27, 2012 at 10:48 am

      Y’know, if #s 1 and 2 are real, I want to buy them so I can destroy them, I hate them both so much. And take a video to send to the seller.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • Vagrarian
        April 27, 2012 at 11:15 am

        I should add that #s 1 and 2 are classic cases of gluing shit to other shit, and therefore are classic Etsy items.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  45. wisperch
    April 27, 2012 at 9:53 am

    Bic and orange tea light holder – Regretsy. Logic? The are all stupid, but those two are just TOO stupid.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  46. mrs_cat
    April 27, 2012 at 9:53 am

    Please, for the love of sweet tap-dancing Jesus let them all be fake.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • teax2
      April 27, 2012 at 10:09 am

      …or people will accidentally, ironically, set themselves on fire with pom pom Bic lighter trying to light the orange, pour the tandem candle holder wine glass on the flames, and then sit down on the barn wood to rest but accidentally sit on the rusted nails?

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  47. The Grim Piddler
    April 27, 2012 at 9:53 am

    I think the barnwood is Etsy, cos it’d surely be too obvious an idea for April to try and bamboozle us with. The lighter is a fire hazard, but I think that’s Etsy too. Also Hulk Hogan, I think, is real.

    So that leaves Regretsy for the glass and the nails, though I’m really not sure about the nails. And I think the oranges are Regretsy, because “in tack” is just too good to be true.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  48. pineapple
    April 27, 2012 at 9:55 am

    I’m pretty sure the perfectly rusted nails are Etsy. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time reading Regretsy, it’s that Etsy hipsters believe rusty things are “très chic” & “charming”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  49. Invidosa
    April 27, 2012 at 9:55 am

    Glass shit glued to other glass shit just SCREAMS “vintage steampunk upcycled” to me, so I’m gonna say the mason jar fuckery is etsy. There is not enough barnwood in the “piece of wood ripped off of some poor guys house” and clearly too much work went into it what with al the sanding and waxing, so that’s got to be regretsy. The “rusted crap i found in my old shed” is ever so carefully arranged and available in bulk, so i gotta say etsy. The “look honey, idiots will buy anything, I bet I can sell our garbage from breakfast” candeholders MUST be etsy cause us fat jealous loosers are not creative enough to consider up cycling our food! And the hulk looks like he consumed the sane amount of vodka that must have been required in order to create this masterpiece, so thus has to be regretsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Invidosa
      April 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

      oh, and I’m going with etsy for the suicude lighter. I see this a a desperate cry for release from a steampunk upcycled existance. . . Or as a psa for drug awareness “look kids, don’t do Meth cause you will be so fucked that you will try to glue crap to lighters and sell it”

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  50. Wren
    April 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

    Etsy, Regretsy, Etsy, Etsy, Regretsy, Etsy…now to read the comments and see if I am right!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  51. alliechan
    April 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

    #1 has to be Regretsy, because there seems to have been some effort in constructing it.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  52. heavvymetalqueen
    April 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

    I love how everybody is just so depressingly resigned to the rusted nails being Etsy. That’d be my guess too, btw. Hulk might be Regretsy. The “in tack” citrus peels I’m not sure, but they make me tired.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  53. nowhere01
    April 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

    Orange puff lighter has to be Etsy because it is just that cheap, stupid, and pointless.

    Citrus peel votive candles though, I think are Regretsy, not least because of “in tack”, which is just beautiful.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  54. vulturelet
    April 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

    The lighter has to be Etsy, because you can only find something that spectacularly, idiotically unusable by reaching down into the depths of Etsy’s crafthole.

    Also, stoned Hulk Hogan has to be Regretsy. You could never get something that awesome on Etsy for only $5.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  55. percivalsmithers
    April 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

    The lighter is ingeniously simple stupid and completely impractical in every way. Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  56. Maman Brigitte
    April 27, 2012 at 9:58 am

    The lighter has to be Regretsy because it’s a 5 minute project with a hilarious description. I think the fruit peels are Etsy though; I saw someone selling them at a craft fair (with fake birds and other crap hot glued inside, of course.)

    However, I’ll weep for Regretsy’s soul if the “wine glass/candle holder” and Hulk Hogan are fake, because at least a half-hour of time was devoted to creating them. A HALF-HOUR!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  57. Tursiart
    April 27, 2012 at 9:59 am

    I really reeeaally want all of these to be fake. Sadly, they’re probably all real.
    I shed a tear for humanity… (but just one tear.)

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  58. zeeba6
    April 27, 2012 at 9:59 am

    The nails are Regretsy. First of all, no one says “Convo me” anymore (which I miss). Second of all, if they were Etsy, they’d be more expensive.

    The orange votive seems like Etsy, because it made me actually say “Ewww” out loud, and only Etsy has that power.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  59. ElvishPiper42
    April 27, 2012 at 10:01 am

    The rusted nails are definitely Regresty. “Patina” is too technical a term for an Etsy seller, plus there is no mention of how holding them will make you feel closer to Jesus. Probably when you die from their tetanus inducing “puissance.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • Maman Brigitte
      April 27, 2012 at 10:08 am

      “Screws also available.” Regretsy.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • vulturelet
      April 27, 2012 at 10:17 am

      I don’t know. The nails and barn wood just seem way too obvious for Regretsy to me.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  60. HesterPeche
    April 27, 2012 at 10:02 am

    I think they’re all Regretsy save the “Antique Barnwood Candle tray”.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  61. themiki
    April 27, 2012 at 10:02 am

    Candle holder — Etsy, because there’s no ice cubes in the wine glass.

    Lighter — Etsy. It utilizes the time-honored tradition of, “If your product is stupid looking, slap a macro lens on your camera and take pictures from REALLY CLOSE so it looks chic.”

    Nails — Regretsy. If the words “Somber Patina” are being used to describe nails by someone who isn’t kidding then I may have to start fire-bombing. Also, even Etsyers wouldn’t use rusty nails to scrapbook, would they?

    Candles — Pleasebefakepleasebefakepleasebefake. Either way, the sander left behind a nail in the lower right there.

    Oranges — Etsy. Only a hipster would steal squirrel refuse and try and pass it off as a Mother’s Day gift.

    Hulk Hogan — Regretsy. If it were on Etsy it would cost twenty times that and feature a description of how the artist remembers watching wrestling with his dead grampa and this is such a special piece because of the memories.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Mugsy Doodle
      April 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

      I love your reasoning for the oranges. :D

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  62. rmw1982
    April 27, 2012 at 10:03 am

    I’m going to guess the pompom’d lighter is Etsy, because yummy, creamy cupcakery outweighs safety and a bit of sense any time. The rest are too close to call.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  63. whimsiclesthenics
    April 27, 2012 at 10:03 am

    I think the lighter and the nails are Regretsy, not because some clueless dumbass wouldn’t list them, but because they’re too well-written for that degree of clueless dumbassery. Everything else seems like it could be Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  64. sporkette
    April 27, 2012 at 10:03 am

    I vote Etsy on the wine glass/candle holder, Etsy would charge more and the seller would have “convo me for custom color combinations.”

    Feeling Etsy for the lighter, this is perfect example of a stupid Etsy idea with bad execution.

    Regretsy for the nails because recommending using disgusting rusted nails for scrapbooking is gloriously twisted. Convo me for tetanus shots!

    Regretsy on the barn wood, that or the seller is a liar since it doesn’t look sanded, buffed, or whatever.

    Etsy for the fruit candle hodlers because the idea of some crafter mailing squirrel chewed fruit out makes me laugh.

    Etsy for Hulk, it’s just that ugly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  65. Toejam Sammie
    April 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

    I’m guessing the only thing that’s Regretsy is the $34 piece of barnwood. I also have my suspicions about the wine glass/ candle holder also being Regretsy, but I’m so bad at this I don’t know why I bother.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  66. teax2
    April 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

    all of them are fake!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  67. PoopDoc
    April 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

    “wine glass” – etsy, my eyes hurt looking at it
    lighter – etsy, and the pom poms are probably flamable
    nails – etsy, because there are already thousands of rusty nails for sale there, why not 10 more?
    barnwood – regretsy
    rotten fruit candle holder – regretsy, squirrels would not be so tidy
    hulk hogan – regretsy, because if it were etsy they’d be asking for at least $25

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  68. tardis
    April 27, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Candle holder glass- Etsy
    Burned hand waiting to happen- Regretsy
    Rusted nails- Regretsy. Although, I think the watermark is there to throw us off.
    Wood plank- Etsy
    Rotting fruit- Regretsy
    Hulk Hoganish- Etsy

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  69. drillmyskull
    April 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

    Lately I can’t tell anymore. Sincerely they could all be Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  70. michelleislame
    April 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

    The wine glass has to be Regretsy. It’s a jelly jar set on top of an upturned glass, and there’s no mention of the glue used in the description; they treat it like it’s a solid piece. Also, who would choose to abbreviate “you” to “u” after using perfect spelling and grammar, and then make the extra effort to hold down the shift key to capitalize it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  71. Swarlos Bagzlevedo
    April 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

    My guesses:

    Rusted Nails have to be Regretsy. The use of barn wood, the “sombre patina”,the typos, “skies the limit”…it’s all too perfect.

    Orange Peel Candle Holder – Etsy because the delightful squirrel story and the fact that they are basically selling trash from their yard (YAY. UPCYCLING. FROM MOTHER EARTH’S WOMB) is so amazingly ridiculous it must be real!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Mugsy Doodle
      April 27, 2012 at 10:41 am

      Not saying whether I agree with you, but I also like the “Screws also available” on the nails listing. I’m just surprised there was no mention of “You won’t get the wood with this” or something of that nature.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  72. drillmyskull
    April 27, 2012 at 10:12 am

    I will place my bet on the orange peel lights as a regretsy original.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  73. shleecg
    April 27, 2012 at 10:13 am

    1 – Etsy; SO not April’s kitchen. Not enough fuckery on the walls.
    2 – Etsy; Burning Man too far away, probably don’t have need for lighters at the moment.
    3 – Regretsy; Tastefully photographed, makes me actually want to buy 10 FUCKING RUSTED NAILS!
    4 – Regretsy; Barnwood on barnwood… ‘nough said
    5 – Regretsy; not really sure – shot in the dark – praying it’s not real or I need much more tequila to deal with this
    6 – Etsy; PLEASE LET IT BE ETSY GOD!! WANT WANT WANT!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  74. amurana
    April 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

    I’m guessing the only fake one is the barnwood display.
    But I’m usually wrong.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  75. Getoffmylawn
    April 27, 2012 at 10:15 am

    I call bullshit on the nails because of the word “skies”. At best on Etsy it would have been skys.
    I also doubt the citrus votive holders. There’s no way an Earth loving hippie wouldn’t have thrown those on the composting pile.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  76. beesonpie
    April 27, 2012 at 10:16 am

    candle holder – etsy

    lighter – etsy

    nails – regretsy (the “screws also available” part sealed it for me for some reason)

    barn wood – regretsy (HAS to be)

    orange peel – etsy (“completely in tack!”)

    hulk hogan drawing – etsy

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  77. amcatanzaro
    April 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

    All Etsy except for the orange peels.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  78. ChristineYells
    April 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

    The wine glass holder is Regretsy. It’s retarded but not quite retarded enough to be real.

    The Pom Pom lighter also Regretsy… Helen got creative with the Pompoms. Also the photography is too good. No one on Etsy who spent 5 seconds making a lighter more flammable would waste time on natural lighting and depth of field.

    Nails = real

    Barn wood has to be real Etsy because: barn wood photographed over more barn wood!!! *head explodes*

    The orange peels must also be real. Squirrels + trash. I don’t know.

    Hulk is Regretsy. It’s bad but not bad enough. Actually it’s kind of good. TOO good.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  79. asmit130
    April 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

    The wine glass thing has got to be etsy, because I’ll die if Helen has those tacky trees and coffee cups on her kitchen walls. And surely she wouldn’t sacrifice a container for alcohol for this fuckery!

    Puffy BIC lighter is regretsy. Blatantly obvious use of “wholly” points to HK.

    The nails are etsy, IMO. It’s just shitty and stupid enough to be real etsy and the “somber patina” description is the kicker

    The barn wood is etsy for sure! As a TN native, shit like this gets sold here all the time, and we’re cheap enough to not include a fucking candle.

    I think the peel votives are etsy. I’m just hoping that HK didn’t go yard tramping for this shit, but I could be wrong.

    Hulk Drawing is etsy for sure. I don’t think you regretsy fuckers could get that accurate with the bloodshot eyes, the ribbed looking neck, or the nipple like flowers in the background.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  80. mhm5
    April 27, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Lighter is Etsy. Not just Etsy, but Etsy royalty!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  81. annex10
    April 27, 2012 at 10:20 am

    That wine glass could only be regretsy if it were a quart size jar…that is the minimum size required by April to drink away the sadness that is etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  82. heartless
    April 27, 2012 at 10:21 am

    To sell “perfectly rusted nails” is so clinically insane it has to be Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • heartless
      April 27, 2012 at 10:24 am

      I want to buy them and make jewelry. I’ve always wanted to get hepatitis

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  83. LittleGreenApples
    April 27, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Usually I’m pretty good at these, but this one is mind-fucking me in a not so fun way.

    Surely the first one’s etsy, unless maybe it’s April’s mom’s kitchen? I don’t know, I’d expect some spillover fuckery treasures there though.

    The lighter’s idiotic enough to be etsy… but then again April would know we’d think that, so maybe it’s Regretsy. But April would know we’d think that, so maybe it’s etsy after all… AUGH, IT BURNS. Probably literally.

    The oranges skeeve me out just because filthy squirrles have potentially been gnawing them, and etsyians are just retarded enough to think that’s brilliant.

    Hm. Etsy, etsy, regretsy, regretsy, etsy etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  84. daisyj
    April 27, 2012 at 10:22 am

    The barnwood is just too wonderful not to be real. Not only do I think that one’s Etsy, I think the discovery of that listing was what inspired this round of E or R.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  85. vickybell
    April 27, 2012 at 10:23 am

    wine glass, etsy, lighter, regretsy, nails, etsy, barnwood, etsy, orange peels– well, “in tack” sounds like Etsy, but..orange peels?– it’s genius, so, regretsy? I’m stumped on that one. Hulk pic– who cares?
    But the orange peels gave me the idea to start collecting my veggie peels to sell as compost.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  86. sarah1104
    April 27, 2012 at 10:24 am

    I spy photoshop on the orange peels so…..

    Etsy
    Etsy
    Etsy
    Regretsy
    Regretsy
    Regretsy

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  87. princesstwatwaffle
    April 27, 2012 at 10:24 am

    I think Bronc drew Hulk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  88. princesstwatwaffle
    April 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

    I’m calling Regretsy on the lighter, the orange peels, and Hulk.

    Everything else is Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  89. Betty Cracker
    April 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Wine glass/candle holder: Pure Etsy aesthetic.
    Lighter: I can’t answer this.
    Nails: I was really thinking Etsy at first, but the “scrapbooking” and “screws also available” pushed it over into Regretsy territory.
    Barnwood: Regretsy, because it purposefully seems to strike every ridiculous issue a bit too closely, including barnwood, “you can use it multipurpose,” and “candles not included.”
    Orange peel candles: Etsy. Yes, people do make spelling mistakes that stupid accidentally.
    Hulk Hogan: Etsy. Gut feeling.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  90. blackgermanshepherd
    April 27, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Everything, except the citrus votives, is Etsy, only because there is no wood in that picture…even Hulk has to be on Etsy because he is drawn standing in front of a stack of logs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  91. SmallPoster
    April 27, 2012 at 10:28 am

    I think the orange peel candle holder is Etsy, because you can’t peel an orange that well when you are drunk.

    Please let the Hulk Hogan drawing be Etsy. I need that on my wall!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  92. jamerlo
    April 27, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Lighter has to be Etsy – it has dog (or gag! hippy) hair on it and don’t tell me that it’s ball fuzz. Or maybe it is… Also, barn wood “tray” has to be Etsy, because at $35 of course it doesn’t come with the fucking candles. It seems too obvious, but I’m saying the nails are also Etsy. All the rest are Regretsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  93. kat
    April 27, 2012 at 10:30 am

    I just want to vent my rage if the candle-plank is real. Not because it’s just a board- people can find beauty in an old board if they want to. I’m bitchy because their schpiel boasts of all this sanding it smooth, yet it clearly shows the saw marks! I picture some hipster rubbing it with whatever sandpaper he could find in his dad’s garage, no wood finishing knowledge or even awareness that there COULD be knowledge on the subject. Gets tired after five minutes and calls it a day. Pouts in the ad that he worked SOO HARD on perfecting the finish. UGH.
    Luckily for my sanity, I’m pretty sure it’s one of the fake ads, because it’s written with no errors. I also say the nails and jam-jar goblet are fake for reasons of “I’ll go crazy if that’s actually for sale”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  94. freckleyredhead
    April 27, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Wine glass – etsy. It’s definitely handmade. Oh, wait, does that mean it’s etsy or regretsy? hmmmm. . .
    Lighter – regretsy because the photo is too good to be Etsy.
    Nails – etsy
    Barn wood – regretsy. There are no 150 year old barns left standing in Tennessee.
    Votives – regretsy. I don’t know why.
    Hulk Hogan – etsy

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • freckleyredhead
      April 27, 2012 at 10:35 am

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -9

      • Mugsy Doodle
        April 27, 2012 at 10:37 am

        To quote April: “Make your best guesses in the comments, but don’t cheat (if you do cheat, don’t post spoilers). [Emphasis mine.]

        :(

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • Steampunk Octopus
          April 27, 2012 at 11:21 am

          Luckily, you can’t tell which are wrong and which are right. And frankly, it doesn’t help me a bit.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • Mugsy Doodle
            April 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm

            Sure it does, Steamy, assuming she’s right. If you choose 2 as Etsy and 4 as Regretsy (as somebody did), they’re wrong. If she’s wrong, however, I don’t want to be right. Wait, that’s not right.

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

        • freckleyredhead
          April 27, 2012 at 12:43 pm

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -4

  95. swaan
    April 27, 2012 at 10:32 am

    Okay, so either the system won’t take my post (why? why?), or it’s taken it five or six times by now.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  96. Quinnderella
    April 27, 2012 at 10:34 am

    The Hulk drawing is fake. I know it’s fake because I actually really want it, and would seriously pay $5 for it. Hell, I’d pay $10 for it. If it were really Etsy, it would cost $100, and be a print.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  97. Mugsy Doodle
    April 27, 2012 at 10:35 am

    1. Regretsy: The colors actually coordinate and the buttons are evenly spaced. And no “Don’t put this beauty in the dishwasher or the glue will dissolve and all the lovely decorations will fall off ” warning.

    2. Etsy. April would have glued on the pom-pons in a more attractive pattern…and perhaps singed a couple of them near the top.

    3. Regretsy. “Screws also available”—Etsyians don’t know from innuendo when English is their first language.

    4. Etsy. Those are ironic candles.

    5. Regretsy. An Etsy seller would have stuffed the shell with potpourri and glued a some lace and a plastic squirrel on it.

    6. Regretsy. Bronc drew it and cropped out more of the spiral binding than he did on the Kevin Dillon sketch, but I’m sure it’s Bronc’s work.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  98. swaan
    April 27, 2012 at 10:37 am

    *Candle/wine holder: Etsy. The “art” on the wall looks like a HomeGoods (TM) special, and so it’s probably from an Etsy reseller. Also, putting a candle in a kindling-covered game of jenga is a FIRE HAZARD.
    *Lighter: Regretsy, because they suggested some very practical uses for it. At least I hope so, because FIRE HAZARD!
    *Nails: Regretsy. On Etsy, those would be “Antiques.” And I hope you just grabbed those photos off Flickr, because TETANUS HAZARD!
    *Barn wood: Please, please, please let that be Etsy. On the other hand, they don’t suggest using it as a photo backdrop for marketing purposes, so who knows? Either way, I’m glad those candles aren’t lit, because – at the risk of redundance – FIRE HAZARD!
    *Garbage vermin discarded on someone’s lawn HOLY JESUS PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WHAT FIRE IS?: Etsy. Why? Squirrels. Because who doesn’t want to open a UPS box to find something that has been in a rodent’s mouth?
    *Hulk Hogan: Etsy. Dunno why, but I’ll light it on fire.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • kat
      April 27, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      I was kinda pro orange peel at first. You changed my mind, with the concept “it’s garbage vermin discarded”. Very eloquent!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  99. rbishop
    April 27, 2012 at 10:38 am

    If that lighter isn’t regretsy I’m eating my hat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  100. Kerinus
    April 27, 2012 at 10:40 am

    Wine Glass – Got to be real. Not enough empty booze bottles to be Helen’s kitchen.

    Lighter – Good god, I hope that’s fake. But since I do, that probably means it’s very, very real.

    Rusted Nails – GOT to be real!

    Barn Wood – If it’s not real, it will be soon. I could feel the sigh from Etsy headquarters from here.

    Orange votive – Fake. Do squirrels even eat oranges?

    Hulk – Oh my…that has got to be real.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  101. vermontgirl
    April 27, 2012 at 10:40 am

    Etsy:

    Wine glass
    Rusty nails
    Old Barn Wood

    Regretsy:

    Lighter
    Rotten Fruit
    Stoned Hulk Hogan Picture

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  102. PetiteLapGiraffe
    April 27, 2012 at 10:41 am

    Wine glass – Etsy – Even April couldn’t come up with something this awful. I think.
    Lighter – Regretsy. The pass around comment gave it away
    Nails – Etsy. April doesn’t have a buttload of useless nails around. Do you?
    Candles on Barnwood – Not sure. Etsy does love barnwood.
    Orange Peel Votive – Etsy. I suspect April feeds the squirrels and tells the birds to go fuck themselves, they wake her up with all the noise.
    Hulk Hogan – Etsy. Altho it really is pretty good for Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  103. Spacker
    April 27, 2012 at 10:41 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -21

    • Spacker
      April 27, 2012 at 11:34 am

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -13

      • MissPlace
        April 27, 2012 at 12:22 pm

        Yes, it is quite predictable that you’d get thumbsdowned after a douchenozzley comment aimed at HK, so why did you post it?

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • FilliamHMuffman
      April 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

      Hi, Mariana!

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • FilliamHMuffman
      April 27, 2012 at 1:10 pm

      Hi, Mariana!

      Husband upset with your using his bar number yet?

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • FilliamHMuffman
        April 27, 2012 at 1:11 pm

        Welp, that’s what I get for not properly refreshing my browser window.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  104. Loser Crocheter
    April 27, 2012 at 10:42 am

    It just boggles my mind that ANY of these are actually on Etsy, and at the same time saddens me that they really are. My guess is that the barnwood is Regretsy….but that is purely just because it is priced a little low for cupcake land.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  105. Incollision
    April 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

    1. Wine glass – how exactly is this a wine glass, it looks like a canning jar glued ontop of random junk glass. Etsy.
    2. Lighter – stupid enough to be etsy, and isn’t it ironic, I burned the tips of all my fingers lighting my clove cigarettes…
    3. Nails – Regretsy, I think all 4 pictures are from 4 separate random etsy posting of people actually selling nails.
    4. Barn wood – I don’t know, is it actually sanded to a satin finish. I’m going with attempt to be self-aware-ironic. etsy.
    5. Votives – bleh, this makes me smell rotten fruit. Do the fruit flies come with it. etsy.
    6. Hulk Hogan – no clue, bloodshot eyes make me think regretsy

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Steampunk Octopus
      April 27, 2012 at 11:24 am

      Canning jars are hipster wine glasses. I’m surprised they haven’t tried turning ‘bottles in paper bags’ into the next big fashion for party glasses.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  106. Valerette
    April 27, 2012 at 10:45 am

    I think the wine glass/cup holder is regretsy, and the kitchen is just to throw us off.

    The nails and orange peels MUST be regretsy because they’re garbage! Surely no one is selling garbage on etsy. Yes, I’m new here.

    The rest are etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  107. wps03001
    April 27, 2012 at 10:48 am

    1. This has to be Etsy… The people at regretsy aren’t pompous enough to think “I need to make my alcoholism look less bad by drinking my wine out of a mason jar turned into a wine glass.” They just drink from pint glasses and sippy cups like the rest of us cave dwelling mouth breathers.
    2. Flammable substance on source that creates more fire. Too good to be true, so it must come from one of Regretsy’s pyromaniacs.
    3. Seems crazy enough to be Etsy… lets hope it comes with a nice piece of barn wood attached to it, so the buyer can hit themself in the head after purchasing.
    4. Speaking of barnwood, this would go perfect with the nails in the pervious listing. Totally Etsy worthy material right there.
    5. Up-cycled orange, some kind of candle, but no barnwood… as fake as the love from a mother wasp.
    6. Only Etsy can rangle in a person on some kind of Robo-bender, the kind that makes you see ET with a skullet and handlebar moustache…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  108. thecreightonberyl
    April 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Well, I’m awful at this game, but here goes:

    1. Etsy. That kitchen is WAY too cluttered.
    2. Etsy. Nothing says “Mindless Crafting” than gluing something flammable to a lighter.
    3. Regretsy. Oxidation and Old Barn Wood just SCREAMS Helen and Bronc.
    4. Regretsy. CANDLES NOT INCLUDED!
    5. Etsy. “In Tack” DEFINES Etsy.
    6. Regretsy. Hopefully after finishing off a full Crystal Skull Vodka.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  109. fenrislorsrai
    April 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

    The nails have to be Etsy since I can’t believe you have several different STYLES of rusty nail. I suspect you have some rusty nails, but sorting them into piles by style, too much damn work.

    Same deal with virtually everything else, too much damn work to bother with.

    I don’t believe the candles on barnwood either because I have trouble believing you own 3 pillar candles of that size and creaminess that you haven’t managed to get dusty by now and haven’t been burned or eaten by the dog yet. Barnwood I would believe you own a piece of for just this sort of instance. The candles? Those I don’t believe you had lying around.

    Citrus tea lights that’s probably Regretsy. We already know your love of fruit. Also its a good excuse to make sangria. ANY EXCUSE FOR ALCOHOL!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  110. Seneschal
    April 27, 2012 at 10:54 am

    That jar and wine-glass combo has to be Regretsy. It looks like someone just went through a bin of crap and glue-gunned it together.
    I’m sad to say that the bic lighter is probably actually from Etsy. I honestly think the shallow depth of field is what makes it.
    Rusty nails are Etsy. Or google images. Hm.
    Barn wood display is probably Etsy. The balls it must take to charge over thirty bucks for a length od partially rotted wood.. those are some big ones.
    The votive HAS to be Regretsy. C’mon, it’s photographed sitting on a fucking bath towel.
    Hulk Hogan is Etsy. This is a case of unintentional awful becoming accidentally GREAT.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  111. Zithreal
    April 27, 2012 at 10:56 am

    First one is Regretsy because if it were from Etsy it’d have a story about how Cookie Monster had children with Barney the Dinosaur.

    I think the second one is also Regretsy but I’m beginning to worry as to why you have so many fluffy balls lying around the place.

    As for the nails, this game as taught me that anything to do with rust is always Etsy.

    Barnwood candle holder had better be genuine. Or at least honestly stolen from a 150 year old Tennessee barn.

    If the fruity candle thing is Regretsy will you teach me how to eat fruit? You have mad skills.

    As for the water logged corpse of Hulk Hogan: Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • swaan
      April 27, 2012 at 6:40 pm

      Water logged corpse – yes, that’s it! I was trying to figure out what it reminded me of.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  112. sewafrayed
    April 27, 2012 at 10:59 am

    I had a very difficult time making up my mind on the first 2…the wino glass has a sort of naivete about it, while the poof lighter has that trendy pseudo-sophistication feel to it. I think the wino glass is Etsy, and inspired the Garfield-testicle lighter. As for the rest, I’m going with Etsy, Etsy, Etsy, and Regretsy. *crossing fingers*

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  113. pascha2u
    April 27, 2012 at 11:01 am

    1. Etsy
    2. Regretsy
    3. Regretsy
    4. Etsy
    5. Etsy
    6. Regretsy (I think this was drawn by Bronc.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  114. Sandford Police
    April 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

    If the Hulk Hogan is Regretsy, I hereby demand prints be made available.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  115. Bacon Armageddon
    April 27, 2012 at 11:07 am

    Nail one is probably Regretsy, since the nails in the bottom left picture look like they are a much older style then the other 3 (note the square vs. round shape). If it is legit though, let me just say I’m sorry for not finding out about etsy earlier since nails are like the zubats of archeology and for a dollar a piece I would be rich from a single dig.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  116. PensEnvy
    April 27, 2012 at 11:08 am

    The nails have to be Etsy. They love their tetanus over there.

    If the orange peel isn’t Regretsy, I’m going to the grocery store.

    I really hope Hulk Hogan is Etsy. That’s fantastic and creepy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  117. whiskeyish
    April 27, 2012 at 11:12 am

    The orange Bic lighter is Lisa June’s. I’d recognize that bullshit anywhere.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  118. Bitch Pudding
    April 27, 2012 at 11:22 am

    I think hulk hogan was Broncs attempt at drawing you after you smoked a blunt..then it just got out of hand.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  119. Seibee
    April 27, 2012 at 11:25 am

    I hope the Hulk drawing is real. I’d pay good money for that. I mean, it’s so wonderfully shit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  120. Chilean Sea Bitch
    April 27, 2012 at 11:25 am

    That hideous teal and purple abomination has got to be Etsy. And I believe it inspired the creation of the pompon covered lighter, which has to be Regretsy (because of the perfect grammar in the description and correct use of the word ‘wholly’).

    The rotten fruit candle-holder is Etsy. It’s too perfectly ridiculous not to be. It’s so bad it deserves its own post, to be filed under ‘Garbage’, and ‘bullshit’.

    The drawing is Regretsy, because it looks like it was sketched out quickly, and with bit of cheekiness. If it were Etsy, the “artist” would have spent hours shading the upper lip, à la Napoleon Dynamite. 

    I was on the barn-wood fence over the barn-wood display, but I’m going with Etsy. It seems so obviously Regretsy, which only tells me it’s probably Etsy, because April would have tried harder if it were Regretsy (I had to employ some Vizzini style logic to come to this conclusion).

    The nails? I dunno. Now my brain is fried.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  121. landcfan
    April 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

    1. Etsy. I refuse to believe that even one wall of HK’s kitchen is that fuckery-less.
    2. Etsy. HK would likely have put in typos. Further, I doubt she smokes, since she is a voice actress, so she would be less likely to have a lighter around the house, although there is the distinct possibility that she bought one for the game. Third, correct me if I’m wrong, but my understanding is that the use of ‘ instead of ” as quotation marks is the British form? At least that was how it was when I read a Harry Potter book in the British edition. I also wonder whether the fact that this is the only one with side pictures is an indication either way?
    3. Regretsy. The last photo shows them still in the wood, which would have been listed as a bonus option in the description. Also, I pray that no one thinks it’s a good idea to make jewelry out of rusty nails, and that a seller would realize that scrapbooking with nails would be problematic. How would you close the book?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • landcfan
      April 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm

      Continued:
      4. Regretsy? I looked up the color of oak wood, thinking I was so clever, as HK would not have bothered to find out the type, so if it was accurate, it would probably have been real. Unfortunately, my diabolical plan was thwarted, as according to the internet, oak wood color greatly varies. I’m gonna go with Regretsy, since it seems unlikely that a seller would know the type of wood salvaged from a barn built 150 years ago, so HK might’ve just added that detail. Also, we’ve mostly seen barnwood being the background for an item, not as the item itself (unlike boat wood).
      5. Regretsy. I could’ve sworn I’ve seen a photo of HK’s yard with an orange peel in it (which I searched for, but couldn’t find) so maybe she does leave them out for squirrels? I could be misremembering, though. Maybe it was a seller that had an orange peel in their yard. Or my mind may have made it up.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • landcfan
        April 27, 2012 at 12:19 pm

        Continued:
        6. At first, I believed that this may be Bronc’s work, but there are a few details indicating that this is not an authentic Drywall, like the one seen here: http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/15/etsy-or-regretsy-your-guesses-and-answers-2/
        First, Bronc Drywall prefers mixed media to marker. Second, a Drywall is accompanied by a more detailed description. Third, Drywalls fetch higher prices. Finally, the techniques for the ears and nose are completely different.
        On the other hand, the drawing is in a notebook, and goes past the tear line. I hope that even delusional Etsians would at least include that info in the listing, or take it out of the notebook first. Could this be a Winchell?
        On the other other hand, the signature/possible “copyright” symbol in the bottom right corner is convincing… Let’s go with Etsy!

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • Mugsy Doodle
          April 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm

          What, no footnotes? What kind of college do you attend where they don’t insist on footnotes papers?

          Kids these days, so spoiled! In my day, we had to type, ON A MANUAL TYPEWRITER, footnotes on the same page as the reference and YOU try typing the body in double-space and the footnote in single-space and not running out of paper, which we made ourselves, too. Gah!

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

          • Mugsy Doodle
            April 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm

            Just a test to make sure I didn’t break the thread by not closing my italics (which we didn’t have in my day, either).

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

          • landcfan
            April 27, 2012 at 2:44 pm

            Well, I had an in-text citation, Professor Doodle. Can I still get half credit?

            In all seriousness, I know I get quite wordy at times, and I’m trying to cut down on it after some of the responses I’ve gotten on here. I did it this time mostly because April has said in the past that she enjoyed our tortured logic in this game.

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

  122. Trickster
    April 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    I want to say “all Regretsy”.

    I really, really want to say that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Mugsy Doodle
      April 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

      I think that would make a very good sampler. No joke! In fact, I’m going to go and add it to my list of sampler-worthy sayings (been collecting them for a few months). Will I ever get around to making the samplers? Not in reality, no.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  123. kateofspades
    April 27, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Orange lighter has to be Regretsy because I swear I did something like that last time I was high. Pom poms and glue are really amazing when you’re stoned out of your mind. (just me, then?)

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  124. SlySevSteph
    April 27, 2012 at 11:33 am

    Etsy, Regretsy, Regretsy, Etsy, Etsy, Regretsy

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  125. cardsnark
    April 27, 2012 at 11:34 am

    Please let “playful Bic lighter. An essential accessory” be Regretsy. I don’t even care about the rest of this shitty shit–weirdass “artistics” can have their barnwood and rusty nails and FJLs can mock it. Mason jars can be tied onto upside-down broken vases with cupcakey ribbons–that’s fine. I’d charge five dollars for that Hulk drawing if I did it because that’s a buttwadton of ink (especially red). Outsourcing to squirrels–is that in line with Etsy policy? Are their names listed on that collective’s site?
    I don’t even care. But please let the essential playful Bic accessory be a fakery fuckery.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  126. GMing
    April 27, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Not even sure where to start.

    The purple crapped out “wine” glass has to be real…just has to be…just like the pompom lighter (probably doesn’t have any fluid either)..

    Everything else I’m stumped.

    Oh yeah, I hope the drawing is fake…if it is, sell it online for $10

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  127. annex10
    April 27, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Is that my bic lighter? Oh…nope, sorry…mine is covered in smurf’s balls.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  128. chinlee3
    April 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Orange peel votives.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  129. MegaPussi
    April 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Regretsy:
    Unique barn wood candle tray: It’s too perfect – it hits every cupcake descriptor word besides “upcycled” and “creamy”. Plus, no real human being would photograph barn wood on a wood background. It has to be Helen. Please God, let it be Helen.
    Orange candle: If anyone on Etsy is actually selling the moldy left overs of rabies-laden squirrels, I will cry. for my own sanity, it has to be fake.

    Unsure: The nails. I have the sinking sensation that someone, somewhere, thinks a nail with 30 years of rust qualifies as a whole bucks worth of patina. But I don’t want it to be so!

    Etsy:
    Everything else. None of it is classy enough to come from Helen, who we know is at least a boxed wine drinker. The lighter, Hulk Hogan, and Festivus glass look like they were made by someone who has to buy a shopping cart full of Listerene to get their fix.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  130. ChanPai
    April 27, 2012 at 11:42 am

    The Bic lighter has to me Etsy because I would like to think that April would have named it “Puff, Puff, Perfect.”

    The nails are Regretsy because the photography is too much like a stock photo and not enough like someone who things that owning a digital SLR makes them a photographer.

    The Hulk Hogan drawing has to be Etsy because it’s only $5.00 and actually genius.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  131. Kraftless
    April 27, 2012 at 11:44 am

    I vote #1 – glass jam jar beauty

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  132. Best With The Smell
    April 27, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Here’s my guesses:

    1) Etsy. It’s just whimsicle and cupcakey enough to be plausible.

    Regretsy. Only $7 for a Bic lighter with my second grade arts and crafts projects glued on? The thumbnails also look too small – aren’t Etsy thumbnails a bit larger?

    Etsy, based on the fuckery. You may say the price is low, but the seller didn’t include the price of tetanus shots with it.

    Regretsy, because no one on Etsy is that self-aware.

    Etsy, because no one on Regretsy is that crass. Not even Helen.

    …Etsy, although I’m really hoping Regretsy. This is what would happen if Keith Haring had gotten severe brain damage.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Best With The Smell
      April 27, 2012 at 11:54 am

      And that should have had numbers in front of it. Whoops.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  133. LXV
    April 27, 2012 at 11:47 am

    I don’t even know anymore! *sob*

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  134. percivalsmithers
    April 27, 2012 at 11:48 am

    I enjoy the perfectly rusted nails perfectly different in each pic and perfectly used in each instance in a perfectly different way. It is perfect they have been same garage for 30 years. Yes, I would be interested in a convo for a perfectly rusty screw.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  135. tdqcbymlj
    April 27, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Oh… Every time I pass by the copious selection of pom poms at Hobby Lobby, my heart breaks.

    They look like groomed dryer lint.

    My guesses:

    1. Wine glass is Etsy. People out there have horrid taste and an aesthetic that still is in crappy summer camp craft mode.

    2. Lighter is Etsy. The dryer lint is artfully arranged, and sometimes, you can’t make up boneheads who put crap on lighters.

    3. Nails are Regretsy. The use of artful use of barn wood is my indicator.

    4. Barnwood is Etsy. You just can’t make up this kind of stupid.

    5. After much deliberation, he orange peel votive is Regretsy. It’s too funny. Also, I don’t imagine squirrels and orange trees in the same locale.

    6. Hulk Hogan is Regretsy. Nowadays, what teen/young adult would make “cute” doodles of Hulk Hogan during class?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  136. keenly-keen
    April 27, 2012 at 11:49 am

    I’d say that everything’s real except the salmon roe lighter but this game kicks my loser ass every time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Steampunk Octopus
      April 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm

      Whoever made the lighter will be kicking themselves that they didn’t think of “salmon roe” first. Well done, keenly-keen!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  137. candiecane908
    April 27, 2012 at 11:56 am

    The orange candle holder is Etsy…it’s eco-friendly. Once that piece of shit decomposes slightly you can light a candle to get the stench of trash in your house..once it’s burnt and completely decomposed you can fertilize your hipster garden. You know, Etsy logic.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  138. notfromarvada
    April 27, 2012 at 11:59 am

    If I sold pom pom covered rusty nails would I make it to the front page of etsy? I’ll even empl

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • notfromarvada
      April 27, 2012 at 12:01 pm

      Ack. I’ll even employ some of you FJLs and we can be a collective.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  139. argusrun
    April 27, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    I only have one guess.

    The nails are fake. One of those pics shows handforged square nails which might actually have some value. And everyone knows that no etsy seller that uses the word somber to describe rusted hardware could be selling something actually valuable.

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  140. Nasty Spitgobbler
    April 27, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    These are hard!

    Wine glass – Etsy – Just too bizarre not to be real.
    Lighter – Regretsy – Please Oh God Please let this one be fake. I know there are people this stupid and I know they have cameras and internet, but Oh God.
    Nails – Etsy – $10 for 10 nails you could rust yourself overnight? Oh, classic Etsy.
    Candles on Barnwood – Etsy
    Orange Peel Votive – Etsy
    Hulk Hogan – Regretsy – I think Bronc did this. It’s too cool, $5 is too cheap and there is no twee back story. You should raffle it off.

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  141. LuLuBallooo
    April 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    My guesses won’t post… :( (

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  142. Sister Friday
    April 27, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    Wine glass/candle holder & Hulk Hogan, Regretsy. All else, Etsy… except the orange peel votive holder, that one is a complete toss up.

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  143. dorothy
    April 27, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    1- This HAS to be Etsy. There’s no way your kitchen is that free of awesome shit; I don’t see a single piece of magnet fridge art or any Spock cookie jars.
    2- Regretsy, because any actual Etsy cupcake dumb enough to make that would have tried to use it, and then died in the ensuing fire.
    3- Etsy
    4- Regretsy, unless it’s one of us FJLs selling it.
    5- Etsy. One-use upcycled garbage candleholders that need to be put into other candleholders? Oh my gosh, how lovely!
    6- Etsy. You would have tried harder to make Hulk look good.

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  144. Easily_Distracted
    April 27, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    1. Purple Festive whatever–Etsy. That kitchen looks much too useless and faux-mid-century to be April’s.
    2. Orange puff lighter–Etsy. I love the idea of a lighter that could instantly set itself on fire at any moment! How symbolic of the delicate balance of–er, or the fleeting nature… oh, fuck it.
    3.Rusty nails–Etsy, of course. Love “screws also availabe [sic]“.
    4. Barn wood–Etsy. Come on! You’re making this too easy!
    5. Orange peel votive–Regretsy. Please, let this one be Regretsy? Not saying it couldn’t be Etsy, just one of those desperate bids for the future of humanity peeking out there. I’ll try not to let it happen again.
    6. Hulk Hogan drawing–Regretsy. This one just seems as if it was drawn by someone who can actually draw, purposefully trying to draw badly. Nice orange in the eyes there, Bronc.

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  145. margo
    April 27, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    I just have a gut feeling that the first and last listings are Regretsy and the rest are Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  146. ThatSallie
    April 27, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

    • dorothy
      April 27, 2012 at 1:12 pm

      Would it have killed you to delay admitting your purchase until the game was over?

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  147. landcfan
    April 27, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    How would one ship an orange peel without it either rotting or getting smooshed and misshapen?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • mandalamama
      April 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

      They dry to a lovely creamy dreamy finish.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Mugsy Doodle
      April 27, 2012 at 1:21 pm

      Maybe it’s “pick up only” and April left that out of the copy?

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  148. Zoreta
    April 27, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    The wine glass fuzz ball combination has to be etsy- it’s the buttons that reek of ‘my 5 year old brought this home and now I need to GET RID OF IT’

    Fuzzball lighter- also Etsy, the description looks like cupcake puke.

    nails- regretsy- the description is too cheeky about the supply.

    candle barnwood display- regretsy, because you know how we react to barnwood. And the fact that it doesn’t come with candles is just reassurance.

    orange peel candle holder- tough, but I’m going with etsy, because you’re too smart to risk the thing catching on fire.

    hulk hogan picture- tougher yet, but I’m saying regretsy. A real etsy posting for it would have a flamboyant description a half page long.

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  149. OnlyALass
    April 27, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    E
    R
    R
    R
    E
    R

    I’m hoping, against all odds, that the majority are Regretsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • kat
      April 27, 2012 at 4:05 pm

      I read that as one emphatic word, perhaps describing your brain melting down in horror from browsing these products:

      “ERRRER!”

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  150. mandalamama
    April 27, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Barnwood with a satiny finish? My ass. That’s Regretsy.

    Everything else, Etsy. Because it’s cockeyed enough to belong there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  151. Izzie G
    April 27, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    I’d say that the barnwood was Regretsy and the Hulk Hogan drawing made me bust out laughing, the red eyes were killer!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  152. kzgz
    April 27, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    I think the hulk hogan is a Regretsy production. Rusty nails? Barn wood? Has to be Etsy. And… the citrus peel votive? IN TACK? Etsy. Unfortunately.

    Not sure about the pom pom items. I love that lighter! I just hope whoever uses it doesn’t have the flame Set at the “Welding” level.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  153. cindell
    April 27, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    I wish the lighter is for real and helps someone earn a Darwin award.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • ilikepink
      April 27, 2012 at 1:21 pm

      I’m sitting here using matches because my guy friend keeps running off with my lighters! As much as I wouldn’t be caught dead with that, I know HE wouldn’t!
      WINNING!
      Would I buy it? No, but I AM planning to somehow besmirch my own lighters in the future!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  154. lulubelly
    April 27, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    Wine glass – Etsy. Hoping that Bronc and Helen have a cleaner kitchen than that.
    Lighter – Regretsy. “Shared experience” – bitch please.
    Nails – Etsy. But a nail and screw convo might be a Fiver/porn experience that I’d pay $5 for.
    Barnwood – Regretsy. Too meta to be real.
    Orange votives – Etsy. “in tack” is a too stupid to not be real.
    Hulk Hogan – Regretsy. Whatcha gonna do when Hulkazombia runs wild on you?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  155. FuzzyUnderpants
    April 27, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    My poor mind has been bruised by the boat wood scandal and too many front page items that make me want to throttle a cupcake or two. At this point, any and all of these could be Etsy or Regretsy and I couldn’t tell. It’s sad, I know.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  156. ilikepink
    April 27, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    I’m WAY too hooked on “Regretsy Theater” to play! TO COLLAGE!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  157. megaben99
    April 27, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    Is Hulk (c) 2012 clearly not the work of one Bronc Drywall?

    Did anyone else notice the Bic Lighter is made in France? HK – I’m calling you out on your pom-poms and f/2.8 photo!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  158. AbbyCat
    April 27, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Wine glass/candleholder: Etsy.
    Lighter: Etsy. I’ve seen it there before this post.
    Nails: Etsy. It’s ridiculous enough to be.
    Barnwood: Regretsy. Description seems mocking recent events, so if it’s not Regretsy, it’s a crazy coincidence.
    Votives: Etsy. Too much bad grammar and too many misspellings for this to be Helen.
    Hulk Hogan: Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  159. harvest moonstruck
    April 27, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    The candles made of oranges are such a ridiculous fire hazard that only an Etsian with barn wood for a brain would create such a thing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  160. Mugsy Doodle
    April 27, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    I love all the comments about how the first one must be Etsy because April wouldn’t have such a cluttered, unattractive kitchen…I wonder if all our comments over the past few games on how we do or don’t recognize something in April’s house have cause our Fearless Leader to do her photography at someone else’s house…which means we now have to memorize all the details of her house AND that of someone else. She really makes us work for the fuckery, don’t she? :D

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  161. Moonbeast
    April 27, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    purple wine glass – etsy

    orange puff bic – I want this to not be regretsy, but guessing etsy

    nails – regretsy. most etsy users don’t use a photo collage like that

    barn wood display – etsy

    orange peel votive holder – regretsy. that is just too horrible even for etsy users.

    hulk hogan – regretsy. Although I wouldn’t put it past etsy sellers.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Moonbeast
      April 27, 2012 at 1:28 pm

      omb, I can’t type.

      orange puff bic – I want this to be regretsy. not “not be regretsy”.

      *facepalm*

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  162. KimInKY
    April 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Gah. I hate this game. They all look like Etsy to me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  163. jill1978
    April 27, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    I’m guessing the lighter and Hulk is Regretsy. The fact passing it around the circle was mentioned makes me think Regretsy. It’s hard to tell with that lighter because it has the right Etsy ingredients of crap photographed well.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  164. hatman
    April 27, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    The wine glass/candle holder really can go either way. I have no idea.

    The Bic lighter I can’t quite bring myself to believe. It looks stupid, you can’t hold it, and I’m betting the stuff glued on it is flammable. It’s also reasonably priced. I say Regretsy.

    I’ll believe the nails. You can’t have that many different completely rusted nails lying around the house.

    A piece of barn wood being sold as a multipurpose whatsis? For $34? That sets off every single “fake!!” alarm bell. Therefore, it is too obvious. Therefore, I say it’s real.

    The citrus votives I’m calling fake. They just have to be. Do squirrels even eat oranges? Please tell me that’s fake.

    Stoned Hulk? I’d believe that. The price is a little too low, but still… I’ve seen enough freaky looking marker drawings posted around here that I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find it was real.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  165. jpog
    April 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    As someone who is allergic to citrus fruit, I really want that orange peel votive to be real. There is a crazy part of my brain that wants someone to have done this because it is like a perfect storm of terrible things. (tea lights, squirrels, garbage, the smell of oranges oh my god I would seriously have to leave that party and throw up on that person’s front lawn as soon as I stepped through the front door)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  166. FMLWTF
    April 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    Regretsy: Orange puff lighter, rusted nails, Hulk drawing!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  167. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    April 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    I can’t tell any more! OK, I think the first 4 are regretsy and the orange candle holder and Hulk hogan are Etsy.

    Because that pompom lighter is a visit to the burn ward waiting to happen.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  168. Batfish
    April 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    1. Etsy – I’ve seen too much crap like this on Etsy before.

    2. Etsy – I think April threw this one in as a trick question, thinking we’d assume that no one on Etsy would make something this crappy and this much of a fire hazard.

    3. Regretsy – “screws are also available”?!? These nails probably actually did come from April’s garage.

    4. Regretsy – No one on Etsy would sand, wax and hand-buff this to a satin finish; barn wood should be left just as it was found!

    5. Regretsy – “The squirrels leave the peels almost completely in tack”?!? If April didn’t make this up I am going to cry.

    6. Etsy – Although it is suspiciously underpriced, I don’t see April actually taking the trouble to draw this herself and the copyright symbol on something no one would ever copy is an Etsy trademark.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  169. snarkygirl88
    April 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    I want to say the wine glass thing, but I really don’t think HK would have something as demure as coffee cup prints over her stove. The barnwood tray is too on-the-nose, plus didn’t she do a plank of wood last time? The lighter doesn’t have nearly enough hot glue spider webs on it. It’s the nails. While they are quite etsy-esque, the pictures look as if they’ve been assembled from a Google search.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  170. flatbanana
    April 27, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Wine glass—Etsy. Not HK’s kitchen
    Bic—Etsy. Gluing shit on shit.
    Nails—Regretsy. “Screws also availabe.” Got to be Helen.
    Barn wood—Regretsy. Still has a nail in it from “about 150 years” ago.
    Orange—Regretsy. Because it is making Baby Jesus cry.
    Hulk—Regretsy. Too bad/good, and too cheap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  171. Batfish
    April 27, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Where the hell did my comment go? :-(

    I’m way too drunk and lazy to re-write the whole thing.

    I think the barn wood has to be Regretsy because no self-respecting Etsyian would sand, wax, and buff a piece of barn wood – barn wood should be left as it is naturally found!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  172. NanaB
    April 27, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE (i.e., before I sober up)
    Etsy
    Regretsy
    Etsy
    Regretsy
    Regretsy
    Etsy

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  173. AutobotDen
    April 27, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    First one has to be Etsy. It’s fucked up enough and fugly enough, plus there’s no obvious barn wood.

    Second one…haven’t we seen this one on Etsy before?

    Third one’s Regretsy. Though I wouldn’t put it past the cupcakes to put a listing like that up…. Which really says something about the state of Etsy nowadays…. But yeah. Has to be Regretsy.

    Fourth… Regretsy. Has to be. The Barn Wood in the title gives it away.

    Fifth is Etsy. I would not put it past those fuckwads to do that.

    Hulk is Regretsy. Price is too low for Etsy.

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  174. Ejia
    April 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    Etsy, Etsy, Regretsy, Regretsy, Etsy, Regretsy.

    Whew. Now to reward myself with a mountain of cupcakes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  175. EvilHannity
    April 27, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Everything but the nails is Etsy.

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  176. Aaron
    April 27, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Wineglass – Etsy. regretsy would have done a better job.

    Lighter – Etsy. Same reason. I mean, come on, can’t they even cover the entire lighter in pompoms?

    Nails – regretsy. i don’t know why, it just is.

    Barnwood tray – Etsy. I can’t believe that HK has a distressed pinewood floor.

    Orange votive holders – Tough. I’m going to say regretsy. For some reason the spelling just screams it.

    Hulk Hogan – Etsy. Quality and price are about par for the course.

    I didn’t cheat this time, which will probably become evident in a few minutes.

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  177. Wickedheart
    April 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Regretsy-Etsy-Regretsy-Etsy-Etsy-Regretsy

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  178. andlikeit
    April 27, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    The nails are Regretsy because on Etsy there would be a note that refers the buyer to another listing for a vintage tetanus shot.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  179. raeannabanana
    April 27, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    My heart tells me they’re all etsy, but my brain tells me that all but the candles on barnwood and maybe the nails are real.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • raeannabanana
      April 27, 2012 at 3:02 pm

      And upon further consideration, I don’t think the Hulk Hogan drawing is real either.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  180. hacknsplash
    April 27, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Candle holder and lighter: Regretsy. That candle holder is too ridiculous to even ponder. The lighter’s description has punctuation too good for somebody idiotic enough to cover a lighter with flammable objects.
    Nails, orange peels, and Hulk Hogan – Etsy, Although Hulk seems a little underpriced.
    The barn wood just seems too good to be true. I want so bad for it to be Etsy, but I think it’s Regretsy. This makes me sad.

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  181. The Blue Kraken
    April 27, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    #1.has to be etsy. someone would be crazy enough to do this
    #2. regretsy.. has to be
    #3. ive already seen listings like that.. etsy for sure
    #4. also etsy.. *sigh*
    #5…. i .. this BETTER be regretsy.. please???
    #6. too bad to not be real etsy

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  182. OriginalsbyJeanene
    April 27, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    My guesses –
    1-Candleholder/Wineglass – screams Etsy
    2-Lighter – only someone on Etsy would do that to a lighter and charge that much.
    3-Nails – I so hope Regretsy, but I have seen similar listing on Etsy, so Etsy.
    4-Barnwood – has to be Etsy.
    5-Votive – Regretsy. Too much effort for Etsy
    6-Hogan – Regretsy. Looks like the same style as some of the drawings listed in the comments previously.

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  183. Invidosa
    April 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    Hey look guys, I made an art! I think I’ll put it in my Etsy shop, what do you say?

    Since us FJL’s so often steal each others crappy crafts. Whether trying to light a fatty, or igniting TNT outside of Hobby Lobby, or lighting the pyre for a righteous self immolation, never again will you wonder “huh, what can I throw some cash away on today?”

    A great gift for that person in your life that you just want to get rid of, what better way to say “I don’t give a crap about you”. Holy unique and very useful!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • landcfan
      April 27, 2012 at 3:41 pm

      One art, please!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • hacknsplash
      April 28, 2012 at 7:33 am

      Holy unique, Batman!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  184. newsbunny
    April 28, 2012 at 7:18 am

    It’s like the act of smoking wasn’t evidence enough of natural selection.

    (Former two-pack a day smoker here)

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  185. captainreginald
    April 29, 2012 at 10:18 am

    Barn Wood has to be Etsy. Every Etsy seller has to display their stuff on barn wood, why not just sell the barn wood itself?
    And the bic lighter better be Regretsy. If not, I will cry.

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  186. Meepers
    April 29, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    Did the answers for this ever get posted? I didn’t see them anywhere…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • littlehappyflowers
      April 29, 2012 at 4:46 pm

      They did, but now the post seems to have disappeared somewhere between Page 1 and Page 2. :/

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • tinkerjenn
      April 29, 2012 at 9:03 pm

      I was wondering the same thing. I didn’t have a computer for 3 days and missed out :(

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

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