Screw You, I’m a Car
UPDATE: Jalopnik has an interview with the guys behind this ad.
90 comments on Screw You, I’m a Car
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April 26, 2012 at 9:34 am
It’ so awesome it literally blew a head gasket! Yeah, I’ve had days like that too.
April 26, 2012 at 10:12 am
OMG! My 1985 Ford LTD was twice as awesome IT BLEW THEM TWICE BEFORE REACHING $85K miles!!!
April 26, 2012 at 10:42 am
Pfft, my Peugeot 107 was so awesome the exhaust couldn’t handle it and tried to run away. At 40k miles.
April 26, 2012 at 9:34 am
I NEED THIS CAR…
I have GREAT sex, so if this is better than…
*head esplode*
April 26, 2012 at 1:01 pm
i dont think i gets much better than this… its riding a unicorn after all.
April 26, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Sigh! I’m in love with two men: Jalopik and Kenneth P. White. Bronc Drywall, you can come play too
April 26, 2012 at 9:34 am
Oops, already pulled from CL.
I laughed so hard I didn’t need to use allergy eyedrops for the first time this week.
April 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm
I emailed him to commend him on the ad. He says it’s still up if you look in the right place and he sent me a link!
http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/2979885438.html
For those who care it’s still floating around on craigslist.
April 26, 2012 at 9:35 am
amazing
April 26, 2012 at 9:36 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 26, 2012 at 10:13 am
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April 26, 2012 at 9:36 am
Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ, why did I have to be a woman?
If there was ever anything that made we want to hand over the ol’ hooters, it’s this car.
April 26, 2012 at 9:39 am
If Etsy has taught me anything, it’s that you can still be a woman and have a beard and model clothing.
April 26, 2012 at 9:37 am
mmm, blowing a head gasket.
in for two.
April 26, 2012 at 9:37 am
Did you buy this? Will you be driving this to future Regretsy-cons?
April 26, 2012 at 9:38 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 26, 2012 at 9:47 am
This is a repost from Craigslist. But thanks for the tip.
April 26, 2012 at 9:51 am
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April 26, 2012 at 9:55 am
Wait, you mean funny things can be found by more than one person and be circulated on more than one site? INCONCEIVABLE!
April 26, 2012 at 10:09 am
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my droll attempt to match wits with Helen Killer. Prepare to die.
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8147/7116130833_e41951f0ae_m.jpg
April 26, 2012 at 9:57 am
Please don’t be one of those people who just picks one post from hundreds and uses it to show that they’re too cool for school. Speaking of school, check out the Regretsy post just previous to this one, read all the comments, then come back with a more salient point. Go ahead. The FJLs will be here when you get back.
April 26, 2012 at 10:29 am
April 26, 2012 at 9:57 am
April 26, 2012 at 10:27 am
If this was reddit you’d be seeing lots of hilarious jokes about how women are only good for making sandwiches.
April 26, 2012 at 10:33 am
And why do redditors always think they’re the first people to see something?
April 26, 2012 at 10:52 am
Are they, like, super hipsters?? More whiny than a mustachioed cupcake! More ironic than a steampunk octopus – it’s SUPER HIPSTER!!!!
April 26, 2012 at 11:47 am
Reddit hipsters are the worst kind of hipsters.
April 26, 2012 at 11:50 am
Let me put it to you this way:
This is considered the height of wit over at reddit.
April 26, 2012 at 12:15 pm
This also happened at Neatorama this morning over a Married With Children post
http://www.neatorama.com/2012/04/25/married-with-children-around-the-world/
April 26, 2012 at 11:18 am
….Bill?
April 26, 2012 at 12:49 pm
I thought the same thing.
April 26, 2012 at 11:48 am
TOTALLY UNRELATED, but Bronc, I found out what your avatar does on the weekends…
April 26, 2012 at 11:55 am
Whoa, pubes!
April 26, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Repurposed pubes…woven ever so gently together into a handmade, homegrown codpiece.
April 26, 2012 at 9:19 pm
Aaaaand this is how I will always picture Bronc now. Pubes and all.
April 26, 2012 at 6:00 pm
If I ever win the lottery I want that painted on the side of my mini-van. Take that PTA!
April 26, 2012 at 10:38 am
No calling out on the forums. I’m going to wrap this up. Thanks!
April 26, 2012 at 1:09 pm
Personally, I think that was the comment of the day
April 26, 2012 at 9:38 am
Clearly I need to paint my Grand Am teal.
April 26, 2012 at 9:51 am
WTF, my Grand Am didn’t come with a unicorn attached to it!
April 26, 2012 at 10:09 am
Mine is gold. It’s probably why I’m not awesome. *sigh*
April 26, 2012 at 9:38 am
I need this guy to write my Match.com profile. Screw it. I’ll just modify what’s posted. Hmmm…every previous owner has had a beard? Check. Better than your last four romantic encounters? Considering the members of Match…probably check. Blow your head gasket? Check-a-roo! Now to photoshop myself straddling a unicorn…done and done.
April 26, 2012 at 10:01 am
Photoshop? You mean you don’t have a live action shot of you straddling a unicorn? I was told it was a requirement to make comments on Regretsy.
April 26, 2012 at 10:19 am
My winged unicorn is in the shop. (Don’t out me, man. I’ve successfully camouflaged myself within the herd of fat, jealous losers.)
April 26, 2012 at 9:40 am
Best.Ad.Ever
Too bad he doesn’tlive around here. BF needs a car.
April 26, 2012 at 9:49 am
I have seen two beautiful, too-glorious-for-thine-eyes things today. This ad, and that incredible cease and desist letter in the previous post. My whole week has thus been made.
April 26, 2012 at 9:56 am
THAT’S IT! I am putting OMG on every single picture I take from this point forward!
April 26, 2012 at 11:42 am
Those were definitely amazing. I’d say they were my favorite part, but I loved the whole thing!
April 26, 2012 at 9:56 am
This is probably the best thing to come out of Everett, WA since ever.
April 26, 2012 at 11:20 am
Everett: Making Tacoma feel classy since 1890.
April 26, 2012 at 5:28 pm
wish i could double like
April 26, 2012 at 9:56 am
This interview is priceless. “I feel like it’s my duty to pass on the car to someone else. It’s quite powerful, and I’ve had it for about seven years now, so I think it’s time to spread this manliness to someone else, have them beat off a bunch of women, and, you know, enjoy growing foot-long beards and whatnot.”
April 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm
This would have been more accurate if you’d left out ‘a bunch of women’
April 26, 2012 at 9:57 am
Marketing 101 never taught us ANY of this – filing for future reference. I am SO going there. Now to make it work with bead covered “My Little Pony” dolls . . .
April 26, 2012 at 9:57 am
Take THAT, Lamborghini!
April 26, 2012 at 10:08 am
This is the car that fucks your Lamborghini’s girlfriend…and then gets a high-five from your Lambo afterwards.
April 26, 2012 at 9:58 am
Lookit me Bitches! I’m actually from where this testosterone fused man-gnet lives! Trouble is, we all have beards….
April 26, 2012 at 10:01 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 26, 2012 at 10:06 am
Add another item to the list of incredible features. I think this ad got me pregnant…and I’m a dude.
April 26, 2012 at 10:09 am
If Chuck Norris bought this car, the internet would implode.
April 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm
He probably sent a cease and desist letter for using his image.
April 26, 2012 at 10:10 am
I actually posted something hilarious to my FB page before April did! My waking up at 6AM and being 4 timezones ahead has FINALLY PAID OFF!
April 26, 2012 at 10:24 am
Why are you getting thumbed down? Here’s a thumbs up. We FJL’s have to stick together. Got any Cheetos?
April 26, 2012 at 11:45 am
I think people are just jealous that Princess is more awesome than them. Personally, I’m to busy basking in the light of her awesomeness to be jealous.
April 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm
thank you! at least you realize how my entire self-worth is tied up by how many thumbs up I get on my comments.
April 26, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Let’s start a support group for all who share our affliction! (The counting starts now.)
April 26, 2012 at 10:18 am
Oddly enough, I once dated a guy whose “manly and totally heterosexual ’95 Pontiac car” was his beard…
April 26, 2012 at 10:20 am
Even misspellings cannot not quell the fires of my lady boner.
April 26, 2012 at 10:22 am
I really need a teal car that I can drive around Provincetown all summer and turn some heads. After my friend’s little blue Miata this is like the ultimate gay man magnet. And lord knows this little FJL could use a some extra magnetism.
April 26, 2012 at 10:27 am
What the fuck, I tried to sell my car on Craigslist with a funny ad, and it got flagged!
April 26, 2012 at 10:49 am
Fucking Peppers meme makes every ad awesome:
April 26, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Would have been much better if they would have included that he was born in a pool of gasoline.
April 26, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Ahh sorry for the bad it’s always sunny reference. I will drink more to become creative, but too much vodka and i veg instead.
April 26, 2012 at 10:55 am
I just love that they used my favorite phrase ever, “Jesus tap-dancing Christ!” My brother got his dick in a crick when I said it, and I said, “How do YOU know Jesus didn’t like to trip the light fantastic??”
April 26, 2012 at 11:05 am
Maybe it’s the sandal thing. More of a soft-shoe guy, amirite?
April 26, 2012 at 11:32 am
Nah, it was a joint custody situation then and he’d left his taps at his dad’s place.
April 26, 2012 at 3:48 pm
I am totally in awre of you. Best. Sibling. Comeback. Ever.
April 26, 2012 at 5:58 pm
He’s kinda dumb and an asshole, so it’s not hard to get one over on him. But thanks!
April 26, 2012 at 10:58 am
Someone showed me this last night on their phone in a kind-of fancy restaurant. Decorum was shattered.
April 26, 2012 at 11:56 am
Yeah, I’m a Gearhead, so Jalopnik really torques my bolts…
Great website.
April 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm
“This posting has been flagged for removal.”
http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/cto/2977737272.html
April 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Some people suck.
You know I mean “in a bad way.”
April 26, 2012 at 3:50 pm
I can’t believe it. This ad’s the most original thing to come out of Everett EVER. (and I lived in the PNW for nearly 9 years, so I know)
April 26, 2012 at 1:08 pm
“I don’t drive a teal car every day but when I do…”
The Most Interesting Man in the World.
April 26, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Bonus points if it runs on glitter tears and rainbows.
April 26, 2012 at 4:06 pm
If the guy had prints made of that, I would totally buy one and frame it.
April 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Anyone who lives in the Boston area would know that its PERFECT that he is from Everett!
April 26, 2012 at 6:01 pm
You know who doesn’t need this car? Kenneth P. White.
April 26, 2012 at 8:28 pm
I think my brother has that car (but green and 2-door) in that year. I expect we will have to bury him in it he loves it so much. Yes he has a beard… crying with laughter right now.
p.s. he’s the original owner
April 26, 2012 at 10:27 pm
I had this exact same car (color and all, no unicorn or beard though) and it was such a piece of crap, my friends and I pushed it off a cliff…literally. Pretty sure it’s still there…