UPDATE: Ecologica Malibu
This past Saturday, I told you about Etsy featured seller Ecologica Malibu (AKA Howard and Mariana Schechter).
The Etsy featured seller spot is highly prized, as it can result in thousands of dollars in sales. So when it was discovered that the Schechters are actually distributors for Balinese wholesale furniture company All From Boats, the handmade turd hit the upcycled fan.
All this with the help of just four carpenters!
The timing of this couldn’t have been worse, as Etsy is currently promoting their latest crackdown on resellers, aggressively trying to change their growing reputation as purveyors of mass-produced goods from China and India. Frustrated Etsy sellers responded by flooding the Etsy feature with over 600 complaints, which Etsy has now thoughtfully removed. By hand.
Yes, it was a very rare step to delete both positive and negative comments. Usually it’s just the negative ones that get taken down.
In any case, Etsy attempted damage control by issuing an apology, which they then watered down twice. They also reworked Mariana’s interview to make her appear more sympathetic. And finally, they announced that Ecologica Malibu is a collective but they just forgot to mention that before.
This has enraged the Etsy community (#scumbagetsy has been popping up on Twitter for 24 hours). An importer with 8 employees is not a collective, at least not according to any rules that you’re expected to follow. Sellers are now demanding the removal of Ecologica as a featured seller altogether.
Etsy has responded by closing down all threads on the issue for two days.
The Shucksters have also issued a a bizarre rebuttal, which includes this statement by Kurt Eichorn, owner of All from Boats:
“We have hired workers specifically to produce Mariana’s design products with Mariana’s selected materials.”
Now, I’m no expert, but it seems to me that admitting that your designs are being built by workers in Indonesia is not a good defense against allegations that your designs are being built by workers in Indonesia. But what do I know? Unlike Etsy’s featured seller, I’m only one woman.
Why don’t we let Kurt answer this one? Here’s an email forwarded by a reliable source, making it very clear that Mariana may be crafty, but she isn’t very handy.
And now, as the cherry on the outsourced sundae, Howard Schechter – that rare breed of attorney who can neither spell nor use punctuation – is starting to send out the Cease and Desists.
The following C & R was sent to the Etsy seller who started this thread, calmly calling upon Etsy to issue a formal statement. Sadly, I have not received one myself, but how much can we expect these poor bastards to do in a day? Overstock.com isn’t going to stock itself!
- Emphasis of particularly tortured spelling and grammar is all mine
From the Office of:
Howard Roy Schechter Attorneys
State Bar of California #58828
10866 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA, 90024Ref.: Ecologica Furniture Mariana C. Schechter
We have discovered that you are source of the negative comments posted on etsy.com and on your personal Facebook account. You understand that you may think reflect a true state of facts. We further understand that you may think that some sort of privilege may exist to comments made on the internet that you are somehow protected against slander liable and unfair competition as well as other torts. Be advised that the allegations that you and other have made are completely false. All Ecologica’s products are handmade and all other miscellaneous charges are equally false.
It goes without saying that is obvious from your comments that your intention is harm us in a trade or business. There’s no privilege to utter falsehoods on the internet.
Were one of the statements to be true, truth would be absolute defense. Many of the people making these comments are wreck less fools but the burden of proof is on the person making the comment each of which may be sued individually requiring separate counsel or at our election in such group as we decide. Obviously jurisdiction will lie in California with venue in Los Angeles. There is a requirement under California law that a retraction filled immediately upon request may mitigate damages. So you are hereby notified, and I failure to retract under certain circumstances allows for allegations of punitive damage which will certainly be our intention.
Those of you who have business or business contact with etsy.com are also committing the TORT OF UNFAIR COMPETITION. Some of the egregious comments may also be considered ASSAULT or INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL INJURY which always carry punitive damage some of the direct treats are also crimes under California law, and if they are repeated we shall immediately contact the Los Angeles Police Department and the District Attorney’s Office.
If you are currently represented by an attorney, request hereby made for his name address and telephone number. If you fail to provide this information we will be forced to conclude that you are unrepresented by an attorney and serve you personally should any litigation and sue.
If any of you communicate and assist each other this may well constitute the crime of conspiracy under CA and Federal Law.
If you hold any state license in any state you reside or do business these comments may be grounds from discipline, be further advised that the law is most state is that “a tale bearer has the same responsibility as the a tale maker”, so there’s no defense that you are only repeating something you heard elsewhere.
I am hopeful that your comments were an inadvertent error and will be retracted as this might be better for everyone.
Govern yourself accordingly.
Howard Roy Schechter
State Bar of California #58828
Attorney for Ecologica Furniture
I realize it’s a lot of mistakes for a legal document, but cut them some slack.
They probably had one of their four carpenters write it.
April 24, 2012 at 2:05 pm
OH SNAP! Even the builders throw that lying fool under the bus!
April 25, 2012 at 8:19 am
what a double-TREAT!
and since when did “authorized distributor” come to mean “hand-crafting collective”?
/me sings like Swedish Chef *borg borg borg*
April 25, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Those FUCKS! This is just the end of enough for me, I went to close my Etsy account today but did you know you can’t do that? They keep all your info in case you want to reopen it at a later date. I emailed asking that everything be permanently deleted and got back some lame douche bullshit answer. I’ve deleted everything I could get rid of in the meantime but I thought it was just FB that were such asshats about keeping a death grip on every scrap of you they could get their grubby little mitts on.
Quick, somebody write me a badly spelled fake laywer letter to sic them with!
April 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm
I wish they would wreck less…
April 24, 2012 at 7:06 pm
I doubt the workers know anything a boat it.
April 24, 2012 at 7:43 pm
April 25, 2012 at 5:29 pm
That tort is such a treat it’s a crime. Lock that kitty up.
April 25, 2012 at 6:46 am
Don’t consider it a wreck. Consider it an exciting opportunity to upcycle that useless fishing boat, into a gorgeous new yarn holder. It’s handicraft time*!
(*I’m assuming that you have Indonesian workers stored in the basement like all good
sellers, I mean collectives have.)April 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm
LMAO!
That is the WORST “legal document” I’ve ever seen.
Have you contacted them HKpril?
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
As a second thought…it seems to me like ol Mariana is using hubby/daddy’s name and bar number to shut people up. That or her husband/father is a terrible lawyer.
April 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm
No, they didn’t send that C & R to me. They sent it to some poor woman who started a thread on Etsy, asking for a formal comment on the situation.
April 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm
wow, I can’t believe that there’s a C&R sent to someone who started a THREAD within etsy… it just seems so trivial. One would think that if ANYONE were to receive a C&R, it’d be to something a bit bigger (well, like regretsy for example).
It’s bad enough that etsy admin censors any questionable comments posted in the forums, now people there have to worry about getting C&R letters too for posting a comment. Sheesh. Starting to sound a little totalitarian.
April 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Etsy is so hands off when it comes to purchases but extremely judgmental when it comes to community threads. It amazes me.
I mean, they go out of their way to inform me that any problems I may have with a seller are entirely between the seller and I, and that they have absolutely no responsibility and they can’t do anything to help me. Not even provide me with an alternate method of contact for the seller, much less contact them for me.
But someone says something less than positive, they, apparently, fall all over themselves to provide their favored seller with contact info for a cease and desist letter. (That was sent by certified mail, right? I can’t imagine an Etsy convo counts as legal notification.)
April 24, 2012 at 4:43 pm
I don’t really think anyone truly needs to ‘worry’ about receiving a letter like this. It’s clearly a poorly executed scare tactic that would never hold up in any real court of law.
Idiots on the internet love to pull the ol’ lawyer card.
April 24, 2012 at 7:49 pm
@steampunk octopus:
if it makes you feel any better, they do exactly the same by the sellers. ie: if you have a buyer whose figured out the old feedback extortion trick [give me money or i will give you bad feedback], they will absolutely not intervene. & you cant get the feedback removed, on & on. that’s just a minor example. i would bet you dollars to french fried crullers that it happens all the time.
April 24, 2012 at 9:03 pm
@ilovetrash
Overall, I have had great experiences with purchases from Etsy (go April’s Army!). I was concerned with one purchase where it took over a week for the seller to acknowledge I had bought something. I had started checking my options for cancelling and getting money back when the seller contacted me and sent the item. I’m really happy it turned out so well, but that’s when I discovered that Etsy wouldn’t help me if there had been a real problem (and it’s why I stick to Regretsian crafters).
I’m sorry that sellers have such a hard time as well. And now I’m wondering why anyone uses Etsy at all. Why pay them? They don’t do anything.
April 25, 2012 at 3:51 am
This is rather depressing. I’m actually on the fence about opening an Etsy account but if it’s going to be so easy for the people who are supposedly on my side and looking out for me to shit on me instead because that’s easier then I’m not sure I want to participate. There are tons of articles on the pros/cons of ebay and Paypal but Google doesn’t turn up much on how Etsy conducts itself, at least not without a little digging.
April 25, 2012 at 8:02 am
Crullers??? WHERE???
Ya know, I participate in a totally unrelated site (imvu) and the customer service / forums rules are SO MUCH THE SAME as etsy, it makes me wonder if this is the kind of business model they’re teaching these days? Screw the customers, cover your ass, shut down free speech…is this what the world is coming to?
April 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Since the jurisdiction obviously lies within the State of California with venue in Los Angeles, she should demand to put the case before Judge Judy.
April 24, 2012 at 2:34 pm
THIS is the best idea EVER.
April 24, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Oh my god, I would watch this on a loop for the rest of my life.
April 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm
I would watch that shit up. With popcorn.
*high hopes*
April 24, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Oh sweet Jesus, YES!
April 24, 2012 at 4:27 pm
There would SO be a Booze filled CF4L party at my place to view this. I’m pretty sure we can cram at least 100 FJL’s in my tiny apartment. We’ll just all act creamy and hug.
April 24, 2012 at 9:04 pm
@Opaldamour, Finnish drinking party FTW!
April 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm
Steampunk Octopus, I need more thumbs. I want to like your comment all night long.
April 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Only a matter of time, if they are sending them out for starting a thread, lol. I look forward to them having to deal with your crack team of lawyers over at Kopyin and Pastin.
April 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Can we take that poor woman to dinner?
April 24, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Can we ask for donations for her legal expenses, and take them via PayPal? Can we, can we?
April 24, 2012 at 5:37 pm
“The Only Sane Person Defense Fund”
April 24, 2012 at 4:23 pm
this is what qualifications i think this lawyer has http://www.regretsy.com/2011/04/27/jar-head-nsfw/
the above link is also what i think etsy admins can blow for this bullshit.
this is also my favorite line
“Those of you who have business or business contact with etsy.com are also committing the TORT OF UNFAIR COMPETITION”
ZOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have a shop on etsy! I AM IN UNFAIR COMPETITION WITH SOMEONE!! ZOMG!!! ..
Fyou lawyer dude. this isnt soviet russia last i checked.
April 24, 2012 at 4:42 pm
Oh, definitely not. Say what you will of Soviet justice proceedings, but I’m pretty sure they made more sense than that.
April 24, 2012 at 7:06 pm
Never mind Soviet proceedings; Kafka’s judiciary process made more sense.
April 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm
Oh why are you so mad at Etsy? They just want every one to get along! You should definitely talk it out with them. As they say, they just love, love, love, when a person voices their opinion. Just, you know, they’ll shut their eyes, cover their ears, and chant “lalalalala” until you’re done.
April 25, 2012 at 8:05 am
In Soviet Russia, tort eat YOU.
April 25, 2012 at 1:40 pm
oh toaster… you MUST mean how etsy asks everyone’s opinions then carefully says “if we dont like what you say we will mute you” or “just say ‘nice’ things or kindly shut the fuck up” .. or “if you have a valid concern please say it while we totally ignore you”
April 24, 2012 at 7:36 pm
As a law student I can tell you that is all complete legal gibberish. Obviously just a scare tactic by someone who opened up the “idiot’s guide to lawyering” and picked out a few words and phrases. I hope that anyone who receives that letter takes it at nonsense value.
April 25, 2012 at 9:56 am
Exactly, thank you. I’m a paralegal, and this is why we exist. You have lawyers like this (real or fake) that should NEVER draft documents themselves. hahahaha
April 25, 2012 at 4:10 pm
This legal document brought to you by Google Translator.
April 24, 2012 at 2:43 pm
Probably. Or they don’t know how to use spell/grammar check. Still, you’d be surprised how often “ZOMG MAH LAWYER” works. It’s also very funny if people threaten you with “mah lawyer” and you tell them calmly that you guess you’ll see them in court.
April 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Why calmly? I once informed someone that they had picked on the wrong person, as I am extremely litigious and would enjoy responding vigorously to the matter at hand in the legal venue of their choice. It worked. I think sounding a little crazy can only help.
April 24, 2012 at 4:13 pm
I’ve certainly had that experience. It’s fun to see the look of uncertainty on their face when you widen your eyes so much they can see white all around your pupils!
Good times. Good times.
April 24, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Oh yeah, now I remember. That’s when the cop watching us called for back up! But it all worked out extremely well for me.
April 24, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Or sounding really excited. I’m an attorney, but due to the nature of my practice, I almost never get to go to court – I sit in my office shuffling papers all day. If someone were to threaten me with litigation, I’d start jumping for joy and thanking them for giving me a chance to practice my courtroom skills.
April 24, 2012 at 8:54 pm
Actually, litigators jump for joy at the chance to practice courtroom skills instead of shuffling paper. I miss trial by ordeal.
April 25, 2012 at 10:06 pm
“Sounding a little crazy can only help” should be a mantra. It works in all cases, all situations. For instance, I use this method every time I am around my sister’s husband. A little eye flare, some uncomfortable eye contact, and the whispered “If you EVER hurt my sister, (long dramatic pause) I WILL (eye flare, move physically closer. but just barely) have you killed.” Then leave that echoing in his head until sister returns from wherever and as soon as he breaks the eye contact (always him first) return to normal dorkness.
Yep. a little crazy lubes the world when aimed just…. so.
April 24, 2012 at 7:37 pm
We have no reason to believe she’s above forging a cease and desist. She’s lied about everything else.
April 25, 2012 at 8:07 am
Oh I really hope she gets caught lying in court, that would make my year! *rubs hands together in glee*
April 25, 2012 at 7:08 am
The link below to his status with the California Bar says he has degrees from George Washington University and St. John’s. He didn’t write that letter.
April 25, 2012 at 7:41 am
I dunno, I’ve seen some utterly terrible legal writing from lawyers with degrees. Age, substance abuse, etc. can have some sad effects.
April 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm
April 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Animals dressed in human clothes freak me out so much that my skin crawls when I look at them. A cat with a very human expression is sending me under my desk with a box of chocolate.
April 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Mugsy darling! Here’s a chocolate martini. Everything is just fine.
April 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Thank you, Steamy, I could really use a cup of hot choco—hey, waitaminut, did you say chocolate martini? I thought such things existed only in my fevered imagination! This makes everything so much better. You are the absolute bestest, ever! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
April 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Looks like a Zazzle mug to me…
April 25, 2012 at 8:09 am
I”m sure a few of us would buy that – I’d want one!
April 24, 2012 at 4:37 pm
I can’t help thinking that the kitty’s mouth needs to be animated, and set to the sound from the Billy Madison scene… “What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard…”
April 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm
That is beautiful, ameago. *slow clap*
April 26, 2012 at 1:55 pm
http://lawyercatesq.com/
April 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I could not believe that was from an actual attorney, so I looked him up. Dear god. He really did pass law school.
http://members.calbar.ca.gov/fal/Member/Detail/58828
April 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm
admitted in 1973??! Almost 40 years and STILL his prose is loaded with errors?
April 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Could he have used that Dragon software and not done a spell-check?
April 24, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Maybe he doesn’t know how to use the magical glowing intertubes box.
April 24, 2012 at 4:21 pm
That’s how it reads to me. The errors are exactly the kind I see in Dragon dictation. That is absolutely no excuse for it, of course.
April 24, 2012 at 8:37 pm
He used the spellcheck for the lawyer letter, but didn’t use if for the boats guy letter. That way it looks like two separate functionally illiterate people.
April 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm
CANNOT USE THE MAGICAL GLOWING BOX. It is sorcery and frightening. Those people in the glowing box don’t need GRAMMAR.
April 24, 2012 at 3:26 pm
He’s senile AND stupid.
April 24, 2012 at 10:20 pm
Based on his name and the kind of mistakes made, I’d bet that both he and Kurt Eichorn are German and better at speaking English than writing it. Also, bear in mind that California has rather looser bar standards than any other state. Orly Taitz, the birther queen with a mail-order law degree, is still able to practice there after a dozen frivolous lawsuits.
April 24, 2012 at 11:09 pm
Actually, I take it back; after seeing the comments below, I’m pretty sure that she wrote it and put his name on it. He has enough of a record, including various federal appeals courts and possibly the Supreme Court, that there’s no way he’s that incompetent.
April 25, 2012 at 10:12 am
Wait I thought the California bar exam was one of the hardest of the state exams? Or at least that’s what my lawyer friends say to me.
…Wait….
April 25, 2012 at 3:07 pm
California Bar is one of the hardest in the country – they have a LOT of laws. My father has taken NY, CA, IL, NC and a few others – he says NY is hardest, followed by CA….
April 25, 2012 at 3:08 pm
ALSO – he’s been a lawyer in CA for nearly 40 years and still doesn’t know how to edit his writing? Bullshit. I know people who moved to the states in the last 4 years who present themselves better in writing.
May 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm
He likely dictated. She tried her best…..no way she wrote this alone. Have worked with him….
April 24, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Lawyers are a dime a dozen; especially sleazy ones; especially in California…
April 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm
All that proves is that someone with that name passed the bar. It doesn’t prove that the letter came from them. (Or that they have the sense God gave a goose.)
April 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Didn’t Mariana say she was Brazilian? Maybe he’s not a native English speaker – sure seems like it to me.
April 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm
I suspect Mariana wrote the letter herself and he signed it. Read it out loud and it sounds like Charo on a legal tear. Except Charo had a sense of humor. And wasn’t from Brazil.
April 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Depending on what state you take the BAR exam in, you more or less just need to have a degree from some law school, somewhere.
http://www.americanbar.org/groups/legal_education/resources/bar_admissions/basic_overview.html
So there is a very good chance he got his degree in another country.
April 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm
If he’s letting his ignorant crotchspawn send out frivolous attempts to intimidate in his name, he himself might be in store for a few complaints to the ethics committee in California.
April 24, 2012 at 4:07 pm
It goes without saying that is obvious from your comments that your intention is harm us, coochie coochie!
April 24, 2012 at 4:46 pm
Nope, his JD appears to be from St. John’s University in New York.
April 24, 2012 at 4:55 pm
I have a lot of respect for bilingual people and tend to cut them a lot of slack in the grammar and spelling department. BUT grammatical and spelling errors, especially ones as large as these, can substantially change the meaning of the text, and when that happens in a LEGAL DOCUMENT, it pretty much invalidates whatever its intention is.
Precision does actually count sometimes, like in brain surgery, rocket science, and the law.
April 24, 2012 at 4:50 pm
She wrote this letter. No doubt in my mind and I wouldn’t be surprised if she did it via Etsy convo. He was at work and she was home all day typing furiously and copying and pasting with her french manicured hands while Juan and Jorge worked on her boat furniture.
April 24, 2012 at 7:44 pm
Yep. That’s what I think. She’s lied and cheated about everything else. She even seems to have given out tons of negative feedback to others sellers once that news broke. So she’s seems to have done the exact behavior she’s accusing others of. She lied about the supplier. Her writing the cease and desist might explain the grammar errors in the letter too, since English is probably a second language for her.
April 24, 2012 at 8:04 pm
I think the negative feedback she left was for people who bought her items and left her negative feedback once they found out she was a reseller. You can view a shop owners feedback to people who purchased their items. Those feedbacks are hers to people who bought her stuff and left her negative ones, but Etsy has conveniently cleaned up her feedback ratings. I have seem them do it in disputes and they are doing it now for her. None of us have ever had even one drop of the help and handouts this piece of shit is getting.
April 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Let’s do some quick math.
He was admitted to the bar in 1973–39 years ago.
Mariana is 30.
Howard Schechter is her husband.
Average age of bar admittance in California is 30.
Dude’s got a good prescription plan, I see, because they’re totes covering the Viagra.
April 24, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Someone in the original thread looked him up and he’s something like 69 years old.
April 24, 2012 at 3:21 pm
You would think someone who passed the bar before his wife was born would know how to use a dictionary [I realize spell check was probably before his time].
April 24, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Having done secretarial work most of my life, I have NEVER encountered a lawyer who didn’t have a secretary to type his legal docs up for him. He might dictate it, but the chances of him actually typing it himself are about the same as me being mistaken for Angelina Jolie.
April 25, 2012 at 7:31 am
Badger, from what I understand that’s changing among some of the younger attorneys – but yeah, an attorney of this age would never have typed his own letter (if he even had a hand in creating this letter at all). I think the suggestion upthread that dictation software was used and the results not checked is probably spot on.
April 25, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Spoof, unfortunately for those of us who make our livings as legal secretaries, that’s correct.
April 25, 2012 at 3:42 pm
The assumption that he has a secretary would normally be justified, but it loses some support when you realize that he pays for his office space by the hour. I’d be very surprised if he has a full-time employee. Which might explain why he’s apparently using voice dictation software to write his letters.
April 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Good to know: you can pass the Bar even if you can’t pass Grammar School.
Or maybe the problem was that even though he can pass a Bar, he can’t pass a Pub?
April 24, 2012 at 3:35 pm
He’s such a big time lawyer that his office is a post office box. So where’s he going to take all his fancy depositions for TORT OF UNFAIR COMPETITION or INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL INJURY? Are he and his mailorder bride going to haul some chairs over from the shop in their VW bus and set up in the post office parking lot?
April 24, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Copied it off to my lawyer who needs a laugh now and then. wait. He’s not laughing, he’s .. headdesk, over and over and over. oops.
April 24, 2012 at 7:26 pm
I’m a lawyer and I’m doing the same thing.
April 24, 2012 at 11:34 pm
Introduce you so you could take turns with pouring whiskey as the alt/act?
April 24, 2012 at 6:12 pm
So…is there anyway to check the address to see if there is truly a lawyer by that name with that license number with an office there?
April 24, 2012 at 11:40 pm
The address is linked – it’s a virtual office, which make sense, as it’s virtually not a legal letter
April 24, 2012 at 7:25 pm
Good God. This character actually managed to pass the California bar exam? It’s not an easy test.
April 24, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Maybe it was easier back when he took it?
April 25, 2012 at 7:53 am
The California Bar isn’t easy, but it’s also not a well administered test (to demonstrate one’s proficiency working with the law). It’s really a pretty messed up bar exam. I’m often reminded of the “dog lawyers” in San Francisco who were training attack dogs in an apartment building and blamed the victim who was killed trying to get into her apartment.
April 25, 2012 at 10:17 am
Urg god that whole story makes me so, so goddamn angry.
April 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm
“I’m not a lawyer, I just play one on Etsy.”
April 24, 2012 at 5:12 pm
bahahaha
April 24, 2012 at 5:39 pm
Like like like! Can I have your babies?
April 24, 2012 at 6:10 pm
So, I may or may not be working on some ETSY LAWYER friendship bracelets. The first one is Reseller Red text on a Butthurt Blue background.
April 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm
I think this letter came from the same legal office my uncle tried to use when he didn’t like the way he got left enough money to live off the rest of his life. They didn’t have their court papers organized at all, had my Grandma’s date of death wrong on legal documents, then sent him to court with a first year law student.
April 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm
So…when do we get to burn human flesh?
April 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Well, first we have to source the balinese boat-wood…
April 24, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Etsy: Come for the mass produced furniture, stay for the cannibalism.
April 24, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Buy home-cooked!
April 24, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Rev, you never fail to crack me up. As for that chick…I hate her nasty little wrist star tattoo and there is something about her face that makes me want to smack her. Chew on that Howard Pecker.
September 21, 2012 at 6:26 pm
“stay for the cannibalism.”
Yes, but is the victim FREE-RANGE ORGANIC NO-SPRAY, or factory-farmed?
If I’m going to be eating human flesh, after all, I don’t want any chemicals! I mean, how can I get Kuru with antibiotics in the mix, amirite?
April 24, 2012 at 2:11 pm
I don’t like the smell of burning Balinese boat wood. Total overpowers the human flesh.
April 24, 2012 at 2:13 pm
But that beautiful, burnt lead paint smoke adds a lovely tang.
April 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Oh crap, got that one in while I was typing ><
April 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm
And the colors!!!
April 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Oh we dont burn the boat wood. We make magical fairies from across the land make it into furniture, so we can sit on it and watch the human flesh burn. I mean, we hand make it. And by we, I mean I.
April 24, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Collectively.
April 24, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Right. We need something to sit on while the barn wood burns.
April 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm
I’m not sure which I look forward to more! Burning flesh smell or the fumes of toxic paint from the burning boat wood!
April 24, 2012 at 2:40 pm
I like the smell of cupcake butthurt SO much more. They really should bottle it.
L’air de Flouncé…Where Fuckery Meets the Fan
April 24, 2012 at 4:02 pm
on it!
April 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Also if I make one that is awesome can I send one to you through H.K?
April 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm
I didn’t realize this was a Balinese Viking Funeral. Sign me up!
April 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm
and all the FJL will chant and shake spears as we dance around the pyre..
April 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Pass the popcorn, please, this is getting good.
April 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm
April 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm
April 24, 2012 at 3:26 pm
April 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm
I’m ashamed for not knowing which episode this is from. Judging from the hair, season 3?
April 24, 2012 at 4:39 pm
I thought it was Hush – where everyone lost their voice, but maybe Anya was eating the popcorn in that one.
Damn. Too many episodes!
April 24, 2012 at 5:17 pm
Can’t be Hush, Willow had short hair by then. But I can’t place it either, other than S3. Who would Buffy wave to like that? Scott Hope?
April 24, 2012 at 5:18 pm
CupcakeFucker, don’t feel bad, I don’t know either. Boo, me.
April 24, 2012 at 6:35 pm
I signed in for the first time in months, lured by speculation on buffy things, how sad is that?
Anywho, I’m pretty sure it’s from go fish, (season 2 ep 20 (pretty close to season 3, CupcakeFucker, good eye.)) the episode where Xander joins the swim team, and is nearly turned into an awful creature from the black Lagoon monster. They’re by the Sunnydale high pool, you can see the bleachers in the background. I might be wrong though. Someone less lazy than I can double check that.
April 24, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Oh, fine… You’re going to make me watch Nicholas Brendon prance around in a speedo aren’t you?
Guess I’ll have to govern myself accordingly.
April 25, 2012 at 11:48 am
You’re right, it’s from Go Fish. And I’m not even embarrassed that I know that. Sad, really….
April 24, 2012 at 5:46 pm
April 25, 2012 at 11:29 am
What is rename of this cuteness and where can I get one?
April 25, 2012 at 6:10 pm
I’m gonna just have to confiscate this gif, under… uh… Statute 10 of the *mumblemumble* Code, paragraph 2.
My attorney Mr. Schechter says I can have it, yo.
April 26, 2012 at 12:01 am
Gerenuks are my new favorite thing ever.
April 27, 2012 at 9:51 am
Iz got a news idea for collective made drifted woods popcorn bows.
No needs for treats. I original.
April 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm
My teats are some real treats.
April 24, 2012 at 4:38 pm
If you would like some videos, here are a few quick ones. A company goes to Bali to fill its domestic showrooms has been to either the very place that makes Ecologica Malibu, or its DIRECT competitor. Here’s a blog post with photos of the creation process:
http://baliandbeyond.ca/2011/07/reclaimed-fishing-boat-furniture-the-pieces-and-the-process/
a 3-min video touring the Bali-side shop in 2011: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=b5TvrTGGpaQ#!
a 1-min video from 2010, same type of furniture: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMDDoMskPc4
April 24, 2012 at 5:11 pm
In his videos he failed to mention anything about a Brazilian lady who designed it all, but this chair, for example, on sale in Canada, sure feels familiar:
April 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm
It’s the carpenters!
April 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm
The guy behind the pole is their intern, Josh, back from a Starbucks run.
April 25, 2012 at 10:09 am
They have set up shop on the sandy beaches of Malibu. Who would have known such hardwork was lurking behind the (Bali Reclaimed) woodwork on Highway 1!
April 24, 2012 at 5:49 pm
I’ve just emailed the guy who runs this blog, asking him to make another post about the Bali workshop and sales floor. For example, are the pieces mostly assembled in Bali, or is that only for the one-off pieces requested that have things like wooden nails. Etc.
(Check out the video at 0:16… you can see one of the mirrors in the etsy shop!)
Alright, done sleuthing, sorry if someone else has already dug all this up!
April 24, 2012 at 11:45 pm
oh, here.
http://ohdamnno.webs.com/Featured%20Seller%20%20Ecologica%20Malibu%20%20%20The%20Etsy%20Blog.htm
I saved the original etsy interview’s comments, in case anyone wants to read those.
April 25, 2012 at 8:21 am
OK, why is she so well spoken in that interview? Do you think etsy cleaned it up for her? Curiouser and curiouser.
April 25, 2012 at 3:26 pm
wow.
not much of a comment, i know, but i did read through many, many of the comments about this specious & ghastly interview & i dont have much i can add. all anyone has to do is read them & they will see for themselves how upsetting this whole shameful business is to people who truly do hand make furniture–from the schecthers’ [one, two, three, eight, i dont know how many schecthers] business itself to the handcrafting, if you will, dishonest responses to etsy’s puffyfluffy questions.
i dont make furniture, i cant add anything w/ any more gravitas. this is a harmful, hurtful business model that seems to go against everything etsy seems to wanna represent. accent on seems, of course.
tired, here.
April 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Pass the popcorn, please, this is getting good.
April 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm
THIS IS NOT THE COMMENT THREAD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.
April 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Way to take it on the chin and do a great comeback, CraftyJester!
April 24, 2012 at 2:54 pm
Thanks, you have to be able to take in any number of ways to be part of this FJL family so I try to stay flexible.
April 24, 2012 at 3:36 pm
We like ‘em flexible and bendy, too!
You’ve earned yourself some time to sit back and relax, bask in your glory, and govern yourself accordingly!
April 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm
This is not the comment thread I was looking for…
*walks away*
April 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Damn comment resellers!
April 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm
The best butthurt is the kind with poor grammar.
April 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm
I think you mean boathurt
April 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm
I see what you did there.
April 24, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I’m not that clever. I’ve seen other people saying it. I’ve decided to remove butthurt from my vocabulary and replace it with boathurt. No matter what the topic, even if it has nothing to do with boats, it just seems right.
April 24, 2012 at 3:37 pm
#newtrend
April 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm
There’s no privilege to utter falsehoods on the internet.
You’re new here, right?
April 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm
I wasn’t aware there was a privilege to utter anything BUT falsehoods on the Internet.
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
and porn. Don’t forget the porn.
April 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm
I’d NEVER forget the porn!
April 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm
never!
April 24, 2012 at 2:26 pm
That reminds me:
“A study showed 20 percent of U.S. adults don’t even use the internet. Except for porn. Everyone polled had watched internet porn.”
(from George Takei’s Twitter)
April 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm
The Internet is for porn!
The Internet is for porn!
So grab your dick
And double-click
For porn, porn, porn!
April 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Random thumbs up for George Takei on Twitter
April 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm
The internet is a series of tubes held together with conspiracy theories and porn. It’s like a Habitrail for trolls!
April 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm
The Evil Overlord in me likes that image…likes it very much…likes thinking about all the little trolls running through their Habitrail, up and down, back and forth, on their squeaky wheel, getting nowhere…and thinking about finding a tiny thirsty-for-the-blood-of-trolls weasel and dropping him down one of the tubes and sitting back with my popcorn.
Evil Overlord approves.
April 25, 2012 at 11:06 am
Geeeeze, now you’ve done it. I have the uncontrollable urge to hunt up that empty hamster cage I have, get some troll dolls from the dollar store and create the trollworld habi-net. Complete with cat to stare intently into the cage.
April 25, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Then sell it on etsy as an artwork for $5000.
April 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm
And cats. Dont forget the cats.
April 24, 2012 at 4:09 pm
The cats sit outside the habitroll batting at the scampering little trolls inside! BEST CAT TOY! It’s an ecosystem upon the mighty blogosphere within the Twitterverse!
April 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm
That’s the part that got me too. I’m at least moderately certain that what’s happened would not stand up as defamation of character in an actual court of law.
But then, I suppose I wouldn’t know, I obviously don’t use proper legal speak.
April 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm
In order to prove defamation of character, one must prove the statement to be false and caused harm. It also has to be made with a reckless disregard for the truth.
April 24, 2012 at 3:24 pm
What harm? Did you see how many idiots continued to buy her overpriced ‘balinese-sourced boat wood’ crap? She’ll have a hell of a time proving harm.
April 24, 2012 at 3:59 pm
She was so hurt that she cried. She cried so much that she smudged her mascara. That’s harm right there buster so govern yourself accordingly!
April 24, 2012 at 8:06 pm
What are you talking about? She was harmed when she tried to carve her name on the furniture and broke her nail. Her collective neglected to help her, they just stood around sniggering while she used her nail file.
April 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Oh, okay. I get it. So defamation of character would be more on the mark if we said “Mariana is a fabulous designer! She designed and constructed all of these amazing pieces!” Because, you know, that’s blatantly false and said with a reckless disregard for the truth.
I don’t know where the harm would come in there, except that if she had constructed her own work, she wouldn’t have had the perfectly lovely and delicate hands we saw in the original post. They’d have been harmed in the creation.
April 24, 2012 at 5:08 pm
That makes her guilty of defamation of character for the “confederation of dunces” comment.
April 25, 2012 at 7:39 am
Am mildly tempted to send her a cease and desist letter for that.
April 24, 2012 at 5:23 pm
“In order to prove defamation of character, one must prove the statement to be false and caused harm. It also has to be made with a reckless disregard for the truth.”
Ah! So ETSY is guilty of defaming her, by putting her up as a handcrafter, and then claiming she’s leading a collective! Any harm she incurred is because they featured her knowing this shitstorm might happen, and their continued statements that she is NOT a reseller has done nothing but add to the tarnish on her rep. Lovely!
April 24, 2012 at 9:58 pm
Yes! There you go. ETSY, SHE IS COMING FOR YOU NEXT.
April 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm
I think it’s only defamation if it’s not true. Unless it’s opposite day in court.
April 24, 2012 at 3:11 pm
In some areas of law, defamation can be actionable even if it’s true. For example, an employer reavealing the true reason why someone was ‘laid off’ can be liable for defamation even if they tell the truth because it harms someone’s ability to make a living. That’s why if you are checking someone’s references, you often only get their dates of employment and nothing more.
Weird but true.
April 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Not true. In the US, truth is an absolute defense to defamation.
Employers limit the information they give to avoid even alleged liability, or to comply with other federal or state laws, such as the Americans with Disabilities Act or the right to privacy.
April 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm
This appears to MadLibs: legal edition.
April 24, 2012 at 2:11 pm
I was thinking it was more like that fridge magnet poetry, but in legal-ese.
April 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Clearly the cat has been playing with the fridge magnets because this document appears to have been written by a flouncecat.
April 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Someone needs to update this Internet Butthurt form to include Etsy and wallah! It’ll sound way more legal and official than what this guy sent out.
April 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I could even try including the link just for shits and giggles: Internet Butthurt Report Form.
April 24, 2012 at 2:10 pm
pfffffftttt. Ecologica throwing poorly thought-out and vaguely risible hissy-fit? par for the course. Etsy not offering a whole-hearted apology? par for the course; but utterly depressing. They don’t even pretend any more. fucken wankers.
April 24, 2012 at 2:11 pm
This does seem like one of the more egregious cases of resellers going on right now.
Although the cease and desist letter sure cheered me up. I am pretty sure I found all the mistakes (spelling and legal)! I’ll have to try again when I’m drunk later.
April 24, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Drunk later? Why wait? It’s five o’clock somewhere, and it’s vodka fifteen here!!
April 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Almost 5:30 in Toronto. You hereby have permission.
April 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm
it’s beer-o-clock here. beer-thirty in newfoundland.
April 24, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Nearly scotch-o-clock in NYC!
April 24, 2012 at 3:21 pm
It’s soda-twenty here in not-yet-legal-drinking-age land!
April 24, 2012 at 3:29 pm
I’m pretty sure it’s always drunk o’clock here in Chicago, at least if all the Cubs fans are any indication.
April 24, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Man, I hope “govern yourself accordingly” become the new “you done goofed” or “consequences will never be the same.”
GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY
April 24, 2012 at 2:13 pm
CARE TO TEST IT?
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Dem enterwebs police r gona ta getcha.
I have to say I like ya done goofed so much better, though that could change if they get the girl to get on youtube crying with the guy coming in yelling GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY
April 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm
New sampler needed!
GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY
April 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm
STAY CALM
AND GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY
April 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm
April 24, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Can I make the small request that this be spaced more evenly, put into Comic Sans, and sold next fundraiser?
April 24, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Can I make the small request that this be spaced more evenly, put into Comic Sans, and sold next fundraiser?
April 24, 2012 at 5:19 pm
I’d buy that.
April 24, 2012 at 5:20 pm
I just used a generator. But it would be awesome.
April 24, 2012 at 5:24 pm
I agree on the spacing *kerning twitch* but no, no, no Comic Sans. That thing’s foul.
April 24, 2012 at 6:21 pm
If not Comic-sans, how about Papyrus?
Ok, Ok, I’m joking, I can’t keep a straight face. (or font)
April 24, 2012 at 6:45 pm
Ack! The kerning!
But otherwise quite nice.
April 24, 2012 at 6:46 pm
And, another try at that link.
April 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm
I want this as a poster on my living room wall.
April 24, 2012 at 3:26 pm
If you make it and post it for sale on etsy, I might consider re-activating my account to purchase it.
Especially if you name your store Confederation of Dunces.
April 24, 2012 at 4:11 pm
I’d so much buy it if I only had some spare money. I don’t, so I can’t.
But I love the “Confederation of Dunces” store name!!
April 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm
April 24, 2012 at 6:44 pm
I maek a thing:
Made it as a digital download for two bucks instead of charging for posters because, well, it’s way cheaper to print it yourself, and even a dollar and some change after fees helps me out.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/98354962/keep-calm-and-govern-yourself
April 24, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Is there such a thing as a “Keep Calm and Lawyer Up” we can send folks?
April 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm
@tiedyejedi i love you so hard!!!
April 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm
I think I need to purchase this tomorrow when I have not just gotten home from a birthday party because….that was a lot of shots. I’m going to aim myself in the general direction of bed.
Then I can use my nice card stock work paper to print it!
April 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm
just to confirm – the lawyer who wrote the C&D is apparently the importer himself:
http://www.importgenius.com/cn/importers/howard-r-schechter-and
the 2012 import slip with both his and Mariana’s name has been removed!!!! but this one from 2011 is still there
April 25, 2012 at 10:32 am
Here you go, Vagrarian ;D
April 24, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Lawyer, govern THYSELF accordingly.
April 24, 2012 at 5:25 pm
April 24, 2012 at 6:09 pm
As a side note, what do you use to generate your cross stitch patterns?? I’m having a hell of a time finding a way to do it….
April 24, 2012 at 6:13 pm
I use MacStitch. it’s the only software available for a Mac. Mostly I draw by hand and then just input it into the software ’cause it’s kinda sucky.
April 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm
love that FJLs can’t even help but be productive and collaborative – even in during Baligate.
i like it – i like it a lot.
April 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
“Govern yourself accordingly” is my new retort for EVERYTHING!
April 24, 2012 at 2:46 pm
I know! I was about to say “Govern yourself” is the new “Check yo’self!”
GOVERN YO’SELF BIATCH
April 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Govern yourself before you… shovern yourself?
April 24, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Emily, in a thread that is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, your comment made me laugh loudest…
April 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm
It’s reminding me of “master of your domain” now.
April 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm
And for some reason, THAT reminds me of George singing “Master of the House,” which is stuck in my head. Ah well, better than a Celine Dion song like NO, NO, DON’T EVEN THINK OF THE TITLE OF THAT CELINE DION SONG OR THE MOVIE. NO!! (Sorry, my inner voice yells at me sometimes.)
April 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm
You mean the movie with the boat?
April 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm
NatGo: Yes, yes, the movie with the boat, like The Little Mermaid or Treasure Island and Muppets Treasure Island had an even better one.
April 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm
A Balinese boat? Made of real Balinese boatwood?
April 24, 2012 at 6:39 pm
At this point, the whole shebang is just as useless as rearranging deck chairs made out of the Titanic.
April 24, 2012 at 9:03 pm
I’m going to use this whenever the kids are acting up.
April 24, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Whoa, did the ‘lawyer’ just google all the legal terms he could and toss them together like a salad to come up with that letter?
April 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Word salad tossed with a light vinegretsy. DELICIOUS.
April 24, 2012 at 4:17 pm
need more more more thumbs. I hope people at ‘we MUST all eat lunch TOGETHER and NETWORK’ at work mis- the stifled laughter. I’m choking. Honest. It’s the salad dressing.
April 24, 2012 at 6:42 pm
It’s not a dressing; it’s a douche.
April 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm
I believe Mariana tosses his salad.
April 24, 2012 at 8:26 pm
Lettuce not get too caught up in the grammar.
April 24, 2012 at 2:12 pm
How ould ANYONE take a legal document with that kind of spelling and grammar seriously? He’s just making a huge ass of himself. Oh no, bet this is “assault” too. Waiting for the lawsuit now.
April 24, 2012 at 2:13 pm
*could. And I aint even drunk or nothing.
April 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Off topic, but – MISSNORRIS OMG HI.
April 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm
And liable!
April 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Can an e-mail even count as a legal document? A legitimate cease and desist, as far as I know, isn’t normally fired off by a drunken octogenarian lawyer who never completed elementary school.
And if even a lawyer doesn’t know the difference between slander and libel (he seems to think they’re the exact same thing) then something is sad here.
April 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Yes, an email is a legal way to send a cease and desist. It could be more easily challenged in court than a signed letter which was delivered to the person, but it’s perfectly legal.
As to his atrocious grammar and whether someone could just claim they didn’t get or didn’t understand the email, that’s a whole other story.
April 24, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Although personally I don’t think the intent was to really send something that would hold up in court and actually ever sue the Etsy commenters, it’s just a scare tactic to try to silence everyone.
April 25, 2012 at 6:34 pm
Going to go out on a limb here and say I’m reasonably certain this one could be challenged in court any which way it was delivered.
April 24, 2012 at 5:11 pm
“How ould ANYONE take a legal document with that kind of spelling and grammar seriously?” – You are so correct. I was a legal secretary and paralegal for many years and I’ve NEVER seen a letter from any attorney that was that bad. No self respecting attorney would allow a letter like that to be sent out with his name on it. It’s embarrassing, to say the least. ~TT
April 24, 2012 at 2:13 pm
So you can’t voice your opinion on the internet? that’s new.
April 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm
So this means I’m not allowed to call people useless pieces of shit?
April 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
If you can’t call them that, how about mouth-breathing twats?
April 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Much LESS fat jealous losers.
April 24, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Not necessarily. So long as those people really ARE useless pieces of shit, there seems to be no problem! So… start hoping and praying that people do somehow magically become lumps of fecal matter.
April 24, 2012 at 11:05 pm
I think etsy has proven not all lumps of fecal matter must be useless.
April 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm
There is room for this to be allowed, so long as it is actually true. The burden of proof is on YOU, the tale teller! So if you can prove these people truly have magically become lumps of fecal matter, you’re home free.
April 24, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Someone needs to tell Etsy that the definition of ‘damage control’ is not ‘setting fire to the things you haven’t ruined yet’.
April 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm
CC that ‘lawyer’, too; between Etsy’s corporation-friendly redefining of ‘collective’ and that pseudolegal piece of word smoothie up there, my head is staring to hurt.
April 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm
I loved your usage of the phrase “word smoothie” so much, that I made you one:
April 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm
It’s… so … BEAUTIFUL!
April 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm
It’s lovely!
April 24, 2012 at 4:20 pm
I want a poster…
April 24, 2012 at 7:37 pm
You have my permission to steal the image file and print it out, if you like! Honestly, took me ten minutes. I wish stuff I agonized over for hours looked as good.
Here’s the link to the original size:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jvdarcy/7110940055/sizes/o/in/photostream/
April 24, 2012 at 4:43 pm
How do you make it move like that? It’s as if it’s throbbing, moving in and out of the page as it slowly swirls around and around and around and whoa, I’m getting dizzy.
April 24, 2012 at 7:38 pm
It’s not moving. Maybe you should go lay down for a while…
April 24, 2012 at 4:49 pm
It’s.. full of stars…
April 24, 2012 at 6:45 pm
Damn, you beat me to it! *puts on Dark Side of the Moon instead and waits for the acid to kick in*
April 24, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Mmmm … the OOTS rift, drifting through the Regretsy Plane … thanks for the downloadable, why is my printer so SMALL?
April 24, 2012 at 5:24 pm
“Corporations are people my friend”
April 24, 2012 at 2:13 pm
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Oh sweet creamy jesus, this is better than any season finale, childbirth, or porn.
Ok, maybe not a season finale.
April 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Or really even porn…but I’ll just assume it’s better than childbirth.
April 24, 2012 at 2:13 pm
What?
How is he going to discipline us?
Dear god what an ego to put this kind of drivel in an email and pass it off as a document to that should be taken seriously?
April 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm
With a SPANKING of course!
And after the spanking…. the Oral Sex!!
April 24, 2012 at 2:43 pm
Well, I could stay a BIT longer . . .
April 24, 2012 at 2:49 pm
+1 for the Monty Python reference! Nice!
April 24, 2012 at 3:44 pm
hey where are zoot, dingo and piglet ? you cant have the castle anthrax without them!
April 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm
I wish I had more thumbs to give.
April 24, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Ewwwww, I don’t think I want that kinda discipline from a 70 year old illiterate :-/.
April 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm
That is one horrible lawyer impersonation. Wow. You’d think they could find something far better than that floating around to copy and paste. Has anyone contacted this Schechter fellow?
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Here’s the info if you want it:
http://members.calbar.ca.gov/fal/Member/Detail/58828
Has been a member of the bar since 1973, with no disciplinary or administrative actions, but I don’t know what that means.
April 24, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Oops I clearly did not scroll down far enough before I posted that. Sorry!
April 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm
so, if the average college student graduates by age 22, and law school is at least 2 years, he was 24 in 1973… making him 63 years old, at best. Mr. Schecter HAS to be her dad. No way he wrote this… my money is on Ms. Handmade-With-A-Manicure herself using Daddy’s number without his knowledge.
April 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm
I’m thinking he’s her baby-daddy. That’s why she has that smug look on her ugly face while rockin’ the carats on her perfectly manicured nails…he’s so old she doesn’t even have to fuck him for his dough.
April 25, 2012 at 7:46 am
She’s a twatwaffle, but her face doesn’t have anything to do with that. Sorry, but I’m tired of every criticism of women being reduced to “she’s an ugly hag!!!” There’s plenty to criticize here without falling into that trap.
April 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Someone on the original post looked him up and he’s 69 or therabouts.
April 24, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Father-in-law?
April 24, 2012 at 8:41 pm
I don’t think so. I did some searching on the phone number in his official CA Bar listing, and it’s used as the contact info for a number of vacation rental properties, for which the owner text definitely sounds like him (describes himself as a semi-retired lawyer in his late 60s, one of the properties is in Malibu and is described as having been his main residence until he semi-retired and didn’t need to be in LA all the time, etc.), and one of them has a picture of an older man and an infant, captioned as “Howard and his daughter Minna,” which as you may recall from the supposedly-by-Kurt rebuttal is the name of Mariana’s daughter.
April 24, 2012 at 8:45 pm
he’s 68 & it’s unclear how he is attached to marianna.
all very strange. it looks like the whole thing runs even deeper than trophy wife writing faux legalese. it looks like theres a mini-corporation in charge of importing island goods potentially run by not marianna but, perhaps, howard schechter &/or any one or number of his relatives/associates. it looks like the person who called marianna, there, out as a model etsy seller may very well be right.
then again, didnt someone register yesterday who knows them? so they are married? cos thats what [s]he said. still, the boat business is a business not a housewife-handmade, but a business business. etsy would gain a lot of decent cred if they were willing to admit their rather overlarge mistake.
ive waited for equally unlikely things to happen. still waiting, in fact.
otoh, he’s also defended people who pull up oak trees, of all things, against city regulations
April 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Hey, I might want to represent him. I think I could probably upcycle his legalese a bit, even though my background is in anthropology.
April 24, 2012 at 4:52 pm
With this guy and his etsy cred, you’d do better with a background in Anthropologie.
April 24, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Beeby, you just hit one over the wall!
*high fives Beeby as she runs the bases with an adorable self-satisfied smirk on her adorable face*
April 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm
What’s that they say about lawyers represneting themselves?
April 24, 2012 at 4:53 pm
“He who represents himself has a fool for a client.”
April 24, 2012 at 5:25 pm
I was going to ask that same thing, but didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. Wait, who am I kidding?
We have a client now who wrote letters as his previous attorney. It happens more than you know. This guy may be totally unaware someone is using his name/letterhead. Which is totally a crime. In some states it is a felony.
April 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm
I just have one question:
How did that idiot pass the CA Bar Exam???
April 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm
How did he pass English 101, for that matter?
April 24, 2012 at 3:01 pm
He’s a proud graduate of the Copyian and Pasten Legalese Prep Academy, whose official motto is non in legendo sed in intelligendo legis consistunt (“The laws depend on being read, but not being understood”)
Its unofficial motto is nunc est bibendum et EST nunc (“Now is the time to drink and it IS now”
April 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm
I would like to attend this academy. Where do I send my transcript and entrance essay?
April 24, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Dear Evilkillerpoptarts,
Thank you for your interest in our asteamed akadummy. Our applickation process is very simpel. With your trainscript, please write your essay on a document personally printed with your name and address and write “CASH” after “Pay to the Order of” and enclose it with your trainscript and we will be contacting you as soon as
the checke clearsour semester began again.Yours in torte,
Mugsly Duddle
April 25, 2012 at 7:08 am
I read that as “Where do I send my transcript and endurance essay?”
April 24, 2012 at 4:31 pm
He was much younger and he studied really, really hard!
April 24, 2012 at 8:21 pm
He hired four undergraduates to take it for him.
April 25, 2012 at 7:11 am
I really don’t know why you haven’t gotten more upvotes for this because it’s awesome.
April 25, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Four Balinese undergraduates. That explains a lot.
April 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Oh wow! So not only are these superhuman carpenters cranking out furniture like a machine to sell all over the internet but they also moonlight as American lawyers? Shit, move over China, INDONESIA is the new super power!
April 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm
What Lawyer uses Caps lock?
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
VERY VERY ANGRY LAWYER USE *ALL* THE CAPSLOCKS!!
April 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Quick, hire She-Hulk as our legal defense!
April 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm
YES! THAT WOULD BE AMAZING!
See, I could be a lawyer too. I can find my caps lock. That is how you pass the bar right?
April 24, 2012 at 4:59 pm
I think it requires copious amounts of cocaine, but that might have just been my attorney. And every lawyer cliche.
April 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm
April 24, 2012 at 4:08 pm
my two favorite things on the internet. hyperbole and regretsy. full of awesome. all the way to the top.
April 24, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Three of my favorite things on the internet (don’t forget Allie Bosch). Miss her…
April 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Not even Phoenix Wright uses all caps for his shtick.
April 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm
And if Phoenix is wrong, I don’t want to be Wright.
Ba-dump, chhh.
April 24, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I wish I had all the thumbs in the world for this reference.
April 25, 2012 at 5:59 am
Only a foolishly foolish fool of a lawyer would foolishly continue to type in foolishly foolish capital letters. Perhaps he is related to that fool Wright.
April 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm
April 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm
It just keeps getting better!
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Oh my – “Govern yourself accordingly.” That sounds very sinister to me.
April 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm
That’s some next level apocalypse shit right there.
April 24, 2012 at 5:01 pm
April 24, 2012 at 7:09 pm
Well done you, well done.
April 24, 2012 at 8:54 pm
thats five carpenters but i guess one of them is a ghost.
April 25, 2012 at 7:12 am
Oh, my gosh – ha ha ha!!
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
FUCKING QUOTE OF THE EVER “I don’t like the smell of burning human flesh.”
Thanks Kurt!
Really, if you cook it past medium, it’s burnt. The smell of medium, or medium rare human flesh is much more appetizing!
April 24, 2012 at 2:34 pm
We need to know how much burning human flesh smell Kurt has been subjected to. Does anyone have a copy of ecologica’s employee manual so we can peruse the section on corrective actions? Is burning at the stake the standard corrective action for using the wrong colored boat-wood maybe?
April 24, 2012 at 2:57 pm
maybe they’re burning Mariana’s name on the backs of all the employees. So if you see them, you know they’re hers.
April 24, 2012 at 3:05 pm
It’s not outsourcing if the employees have your name branded into them. If they run away, everyone will know what plantation – um, I mean, island nation – they came from.
April 24, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm
Then he shouldn’t have become a lawyer.
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
mmm. the treats which are crimes under California law are so good, though! this glaucoma ain’t gonna fix itself!
April 24, 2012 at 2:56 pm
This treat is known by the State of California to cause lulz.
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Howard Roy Schechter’s reaction to his own letter?
“I failure.”
April 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm
He’s so close to LOL Cats speak that I skeered.
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
you know, I tried a clever, completely misspelled retort – my Mac keeps auto correcting.
What do these people craft these C&D letters on? Steampunk typewriters? Some kind of massive iPhone fail? How could you not re-read your work to see if the damn thing make ANY sense?
Great thing about a letter like this is that any judge would fall off his bench laughing his ass off and make the attorney take a remedial spelling class.
Christ on a Cracker people….
Brilliant.
Totally worth hours of pressing the refresh button.
April 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm
My thoughts exactly – the Kurt one too. I can’t type anything anywhere without red lines or automatic spell checks before you send.
Also, I can’t believe how some of the people that get jobs and become leaders of companies and lawyers write so atrociously. Half the people I work with can’t type a sentence with any punctuation.
April 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm
You should see what my company’s “technical writer” comes up with. The mind boggles.
April 24, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Right? At my old job, I spent time copyediting our website on my own time just because the item descriptions my boss had put up were so illegible and I couldn’t deal with looking at them every day.
April 24, 2012 at 5:45 pm
And yet English majors are thought to be second class citizens and everyone worships the illiterate MBA. The mind boggles.
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Thought I’d post this here too, pics of the original “May I have a word” treasury.
May I have a Word:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/48107958@N07/7110727717/
“FUCK” at top of hotness page:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/48107958@N07/7110727873/
Let this treasury bring a bit of zen in your life during this all.
April 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm
You are a goddess among insects. *grovel*
April 29, 2012 at 11:39 am
That is one of the greatest things I have ever seen on Etsy. I want to do treasuries of all the resellers doing the Steampunk glass ball watches, ones that sell the owls, the robots and of course priority mail upgrade listings (which Etsy says it doesn’t allow but the resellers can do it all they want). I hate what Etsy has become.
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Is their attorney’s nickname “Sal”?
April 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm
i dunno. Did you know apparently we are the biggest resellers on etsy?
April 24, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I think it’s Bob Loblaw. He’s very good.
April 24, 2012 at 5:11 pm
No. If they had Sal behind them, they’d actually be scary.
April 24, 2012 at 8:37 pm
…I was having a (protracted) moment of cerebral flatulence, and kept thinking the allusion was to Saul. Never mind. *facepalm*
April 25, 2012 at 8:32 am
Better call Saul!
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Why do they think this will get better?
April 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Because every scandal since the day they opened has magically gone away along with every outspoken member of the “community”.
This feels a hell of a lot bigger than past problems.
April 24, 2012 at 3:32 pm
But somehow the bullies that weren’t hurting Etsy’s bottom line remained in the forums for ages. Now, getting rid of THEM was an improvement.
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
The guy is an importer who owns a furniture shop in Malibu. Can anyone check if he’s really an attorney too? Last I knew, real attorneys don’t need an imported furniture shop in a mall to augment their living.
April 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm
No, but when your young wife wants something to keep her busy, you do what you do when you’re rich.
April 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm
“INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL INJURY”… When has calling out resellers for lying about the nature of their production been injurious?
April 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm
As a liar, I find this question injurious.
April 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Because she is all weepy and butthurt!
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Govern Yourself Accordingly has just replaced Punching the Clown as my favorite euphemism for masturbation.
I used to think passing the Bar Exam was a hard thing to do, then I found out Star Jones did it. And now this.
April 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
“Honey, what are you doing in there?”
“I’m governing myself accordingly!”
April 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm
passing the Bar Exam should be something we do to get into Club Fuckery.
April 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm
..actually come to think of it, I suspect this attorney could not pass our Bar Exam…he/she/it would no doubt be one of those posting whining cries about not knowing how to find the password.
April 25, 2012 at 5:25 pm
I can pass the Bar exam but can’t pass-up the bars.
April 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm
I was your hundredth thumb up. How’s that for a euphemism?
April 24, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Thumb up where?
April 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm
That’s for me to know and Bronc to find out! *waggles eyebrows*
April 24, 2012 at 3:14 pm
Maybe it’s the equivalent of being Master of your Domain. Like, “I’m out of the bet – I couldn’t *govern myself accordingly* for one more day!”
April 24, 2012 at 6:10 pm
“Passing the Bar Exam” is a pretty good euphemism for masturbation, too.
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
A rational person would think Etsy would want to crack down on the misrepresentation of factory-produced goods as handmade craft articles… but then again, a rational person could figure out that Etsy is all about the transaction fees. It’s clear by their actions that they don’t give a rat’s ass about policing their brand.
Oh, well. Time to burn some human flesh. Preferably that of an attorney who cannot write a coherent letter in English.
April 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm
It would be interesting to find someone who works at Etsy who’s disillusioned with them.
April 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Lo did say something along the lines of “I don’t like this any more than you guys do” when closing a thread yesterday. I don’t know if she was sincere or just being patronizing, but still.
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
“a tale bearer has the same responsibility as the a tale maker”
I totally read this as “a tale bearer has the same responsibility as the table maker”
April 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Then Etsy and Ecologica are equally screwed!
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Well. I am wreck less. I can’t deny it.
April 24, 2012 at 4:19 pm
I have to admit I don’t have any wrecks, either. Unless, of course, it’s the wreck of my shattered dreams, that is!
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Translation from a friend: All your stores are belong to us!
April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm
This is a useful link about the downside of suing for slander and “liable” in California: http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/anti-slapp-law-california
April 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Now that’s really interesting. According to that (TL;DR version for all of you), because this is a “oral statement or writing made in a place open to the public or a public forum in connection with an issue of public interest”, it should be struck down early in court.
But what do I know, I’m not a lawyer.
April 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm
And for it to be considered libel (or liable, derp), there has to be intent to cause harm with the words being written. It’s hard to have intent when everyone and their fucking mom knows you are lying…that’s Law School 101, Mr. Howard Schechter, Esq.
The only written words that are causing harm are the ones in that hideously written letter by the “attorney” (I use that term loosely).
April 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm
This is –
There’s a –
I’m -
Yeah, I got nothin’. This is really the most amazing collection of bullshit ever. I hope you have a garden, April. You can’t buy fertilizer like this.
April 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm
I wonder if one of the requirements to get hired at Etsy is the inability to admit when you’re wrong.
April 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm
If it’s not, I bet that working there fosters that attitude. Think about it: they work in a city that’s far from representative of the larger United States; they work in an office that’s almost the polar opposite of most offices; they work on a site that uses phrases like “creamy” and “yummy” unironically; they have a head-up-the-butt TOS that prevents their clients from saying anything negative to them or about them, ever; all other lines of communication between them and their clients are broken or ignored.
It’s a lovely, creamy, yummy bubble of self-imposed cluelessness right there.
April 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Circle jerk also sums it up pretty well. It’s also creamy!
April 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm
I prefer charlie foxtrot.
April 24, 2012 at 4:38 pm
There’s also a gigantic owl made out of trash in the office!
April 24, 2012 at 8:48 pm
The interviewer’s chalkboard reads “Write about a time where you had to say you were sorry.”
Interviewee erases the interviewer’s chalkboard and then draws a cupcake on their own.
The interviewer raises a mustache to their lips signalling that interviewee has been accepted.
April 24, 2012 at 9:07 pm
What’s playing in the background, do you think? The Cuppycake song?
April 25, 2012 at 7:26 am
Comment of the Day material, right here.
April 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm
Rob White: “We’re opening this thread to provide a space for your feedback about Etsy and our policies in reference to our editor’s note in this Etsy blog post:”
30 PAGES and not ONE FARKING POST from ONE FARKING ADMIN until the thread is closed. No one addressed a single topic brought up by users. Why didn’t he just say “We’re opening this thread to provide a place for you to all complain in one spot, and make it easier to ignore you.”
April 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
And what’s completely stupid (but typical) is that the thing that got the forum to discuss the issue closed was… discussing the issue.
April 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm
You’re only allowed to discuss the issue so long as you’re discussing how valiant Etsy is at trying to appear conscientious about its sellers, customers, and most importantly, brand.
April 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Not ONLY to reply but so we have an actual running record of the replies to voyeur…..so, later we know who to warn, warn-a-mute, and who to perm-mute.
NOT to mention those who may have their shops shut down for NO reason what-so-ever!
April 24, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Actually, they opened that thread to get a head count of all the shops they’ll need to find a flimsy excuse to close for speaking out against their cash cows, aka resellers.
April 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Coralgate anyone?
April 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm
You know, I’m honestly shocked that she IS a reseller, and this wholesale company didn’t make up a fake person to have an Etsy shop as a marketing strategy. She just looks like a big fakey-mcfakeypants in that pic. Which she is, clearly.
April 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm
There’s something about the look in her eyes that make me want to hit her face with a shovel. Or any other gardening tool or furniture for that matter. I’m not picky.
April 25, 2012 at 11:37 am
You know, when I saw the feature and before I even knew the real deal behind her, I wanted to smack her.
April 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Wow.
Just… Wow.
I’ve watched etsy go through a lot of half-assery when running this site, but this just seems like a whole lot of work is going into not doing anything.
I don’t know why, but out of that whole thread, that last line from the lawyer, “Govern yourself accordingly” seems both threatening and douchey.
I think the folks at etsy should start charging their resellers more money to list things, it’ll help them raise enough money to hire a lawyer that has grammar check on his computer.
April 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm
I think Mr. Schechschechschechter is using the same voice recognition software that my lawyer boss uses – it’s notoriously BAD – we have to go back in and proof and repaginate everything he does with that program – but the boss always proofs everything after that – and he would NEVER allow this to leave the office.
Then again, he’s sneakier, and would make sure he has all the information he can find on each offender before he sent out C&D orders.
April 24, 2012 at 3:05 pm
The lawyer was Howard Schechter, husband of the woman featured. Not a lawyer for Etsy. But hey, maybe it was a half-assed C&D because he’s not getting paid if he’s representing his wife.
Well, not in money, anyway.
April 24, 2012 at 5:51 pm
If she even has a husband, the guy can’t be a lawyer, he’s probably just impersonating the guy. Or maybe it’s really the lawyer, who happens to be her father, and she just said, “Daddy, can you sign off on this little wittle note to those bad bad people on Etsy?” and he replied, “Sure, honey, anything for you, my little cupcake.”
April 26, 2012 at 2:38 pm
lol
April 24, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Yes, but wouldn’t he know not to use “slander” and “liable” [sic] interchangeably, unlike our friend?
Perhaps he uses speech-recognition software because he’s not human. He’s a forest elf. Who bathes in unicorn urine. On alternate Tuesdays. It’s a possibility.
April 24, 2012 at 4:30 pm
oh no, no no no. ViaVoice, unproofed.
April 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm
I’ve just gotta say, I read your posts religiously and I never fail to leave without a good laugh. This one is priceless…probably the best yet and I thank you for making me smile lol this is just priceless.
April 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm
I love the smell of this!!!!!!
April 24, 2012 at 3:12 pm
So, we don’t need to change the size of this smell?
April 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm
ack- will try to check the California Bar Association for verification on his legality to practice later!
April 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Here you go:
http://members.calbar.ca.gov/fal/Member/Detail/58828
How to complain:
http://calbar.ca.gov/Attorneys/LawyerRegulation.aspx
April 24, 2012 at 2:54 pm
Oh, and you might mention this tidbit, from http://www.law.cornell.edu/ethics/ca/narr/CA_NARR_4.HTM:
4.4:220 Threatening Prosecution
DR 7-105(A) prohibits lawyers from attempting to gain an advantage in a civil proceeding by threatening to bring a criminal prosecution. CRPC 5-100 contains a broader provision, stating that “[a] member shall not threaten to present criminal, administrative, or disciplinary charges to obtain an advantage in a civil dispute.” CRPC 5-100(B) defines the term “administrative charges” to include “the filing or lodging of a complaint with a federal, state, or local government entity which may order or recommend the loss or suspension of a license, or may impose or recommend the imposition of a fine, pecuniary sanction, or other sanction of a quasi-criminal nature. . . .”
April 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm
you are my new hero <3
April 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Amazingly, he is not only admitted but also has no record of disciplinary sanctions. I would encourage the recipient of this email from him to forward it along to the State Bar of California and cite the rule Salguod just posted, seeing as he’s making clearly false representations about the law to this person in an attempt to intimidate them. Plus, given the quality of that email I’d have questions about his competence to practice :/
April 24, 2012 at 6:03 pm
I’m thinking this guy is one of those lawyers who doesn’t really practice. Actually, I’m praying he’s one of those lawyers who doesn’t really practice.
April 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm
“I failure“, indeed.
Apparently, possessing basic English skills is completely unnecessary when trying to become an “attorney”. Either that, or he’s a lot like the lot of us, myself included: usually drunk and/or high. Being either married or somehow related (*cough*both*cough*) to Mariana, could you really blame him? Maybe he’s the real “victim” here.
April 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm
I loled so hard. I actually look into the sellers I buy from. Also, hi I’m Jenna and I’m new to le forums.
April 24, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Welcome, fellow Jenna! Govern yourself accordingly.
(I’m going to end everything with that from now on)
April 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm
Can that be like our secret FJL code?
“Excuse me ma’am, do you govern yourself accordingly?”
April 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm
I’m so excited about those direct treats that are illegal in the state of California!
I mean, not that I’d ever do anything like that, but what kind of treats are we talking about exactly? Is it something sexual? Something with chocolate cake involved? Both? I do’t live in California, so it’s probably ok for me to contemplate becoming involved in these treats.
April 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Finally an appropriate use of cupcakes!
April 24, 2012 at 4:13 pm
I would vote for “all of the above” but I’m told the cake is a liable. All that’s currently available is fruit torts.
(from BackMaskingTape, currently too half-naked and burdened with heavy things to type for himself)
April 25, 2012 at 3:30 am
Most “California Treats” involve some form of dried fruit.
In this case, it’s the attorney himself.
April 25, 2012 at 8:04 am
Illegal treats in CA? Silver dragees, of course! (speaking of lawyers with too much time on their hands)
April 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm
It’s handmade alright… it’s just not Ecologica Malibu’s hands.
Even if I were to buy the stretch that this is a co-op, that fact has to be listed in the store’s information and it wasn’t. It was a willful misrepresentation. And now that she was caught in her lie and Etsy made to look the chump, both of them fabricated this whole co-op BS.
April 24, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Happy meal toys are handmade too, just east of ecologica’s collective.
April 24, 2012 at 2:43 pm
I just flagged the shop quoting their own TOS — if they’re trying to argue it is a collective, then it had damn well better meet their own standards,
“The Public Profile page for the account must fully disclose accurate information about each person, their role in the Etsy shop and the relationships between the members of the collective. Etsy may ask for additional information and require that the shop comply with additional requirements.”
I demand full personal profiles of every member of this “collective” and how they work together and profit together.
April 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Someone should send that letter to his college grammar/ english lit prof and his law school dean……I’m sure they would be impressed with the calibre of graduate that they pooped out.
April 24, 2012 at 3:43 pm
I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but given that the guy’s in his late 60s, I don’t think they’re in much of a position to care anymore.
April 24, 2012 at 5:21 pm
True, but whatever fresh-cheeked undergraduate he’s hired for remedial tutoring would probably shed a tear or twenty.
April 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm
ya know, i’ve come to find out that my iphone is handmade. maybe those should be available on etsy, too.
April 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm
I have worked as a paralegal for years. Do not underestimate the stupidity of many, many attorneys. Most I have had the pleasure (ha!) to work with could not function without a paralegal or legal assistant. Also, it does strike me that some attorneys, including the one for which I now work, would set their little wives up with “businesses” like this just to keep them busy and out of their hair.
April 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm
He is in violation of the law in the state of California if he’s using his legal power to threaten and misrepresent the facts in a case involving a family member.
April 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm
I took the liberty of breaking the news of CURIOSITYNYC’S part in the ruse to a few of those who had “Favorite-d” the shop. Apparently, I contacted a few too many, cuz the Convo Police put a stop to it, and blocked my outgoing messages. What else is a Fat Jealous Loser taking a sick day supposed to do?
April 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm
What did I miss? CURIOSITYNYC was a ruse? Do tell!
April 24, 2012 at 4:30 pm
I saw they had the same boat wood furniture, and now I see their shop is gone. . . apparently I missed a few of the steps in between
April 24, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Yeah, I’m a bit lost, too. Dish, Fat Jealous Losers, dish!
April 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm
I don’t care if he IS a real lawyer, he has no clue what the hell he’s talking about. Charging everyone with slander/libel because they dared to out the truth about Ecologica’s business?!?! And there were HUNDREDS, if not THOUSANDS of people commenting about it negatively all over!! Is he going to track down and sue everyone? Honestly, I wish he WOULD sue us all. Because chances are, if it actually got in front of a judge, the judge might award all of US damages for being dragged into court for such stupidity!!
April 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Under California law’s anti-SLAPP policy, this would fall under “oral statement or writing made in a place open to the public or a public forum in connection with an issue of public interest” — and would be overturned before the thousands of people even managed to cram themselves into a courtroom.
Unfortunately. Because I’d like to see it happen.
April 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm
I think the person who got that email should forward it to popehat.com. He LOVES anti-SLAPP stuff.
April 25, 2012 at 11:05 pm
@manybellsdown You deserve a special award for bringing this to the table – or you could go read the 500 adoring comments and feel really really good for your part in connecting the dots. those were some awesome dots.
SCRUM*DIDDLY*BUMBPTIOUS!
April 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Not just that, but conspiracy!!
April 24, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Unless, of course, wifey wrote the letter in her husband’s name without his knowledge. Which may not be a big deal, save for the fact that she included his law license.
Which means he’d either have to claim he wrote that piece of crap and make himself look like an incompetent moron, or hang her out to dry for fraudulently using his name/license to make threats.
April 24, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Is it wrong that I’m secretly hoping that she wrote it, and gets hung out to dry for it?
April 25, 2012 at 9:03 am
If it is, then I’m wrong, too. Can’t think of a more deserving person.
April 25, 2012 at 8:06 am
An incompetent moron in flagrant violation of California law, no less.
If the recipient of this letter takes legal action, at least one of the two (wifey and hubby) is going to be in the shit – he because he threatened legal action to intimidate an opponent in a civil dispute, or she because she committed fraud.
This needs to happen. Etsy may continue to kiss this liar’s ass, but she’s just opened herself up to a world of hurt from other sources.
April 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm
I don’t understand how it is Etsy’s policy to police legitimate discussion of Ecologica Malibu and yet do nothing about this Howard Schechter throwing abusive and insulting C&Ds every which way.
Uh oh, accidentally let myself think logically about this situation. How embarrassing!
April 24, 2012 at 3:24 pm
I couldn’t help it, decided to poke the bear:
http://www.etsy.com/teams/7722/business-topics/discuss/10194962/
April 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Did an admin just call you a sock puppet?
Work harder, Etsy! These problems aren’t going to ignore themselves!
April 24, 2012 at 5:51 pm
why yes I did they did. Well etsy, If I could comment (which I can’t since you always get the last word, I would call you a dick puppet. So there.
April 24, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Rule #1: Don’s confuse the situation with logic.
April 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Love how they point out that comments were made on ‘personal Facebook page’. Yeah that would be a place you are allowed to voice your ‘personal’ opinion. This is some first rate hilarity indeed.
April 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm
I think we’ve all learned the important lesson to read back your dictation when using a speech-to-text program.
April 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm
I use Dragon for most of my novel writing and so I read along and correct it as I go.
April 24, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Well, I guess it’s time for us all to move to CA and be lawyers. Our firm would be legendary.
April 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Jesus Rollerblading Christ, you fat jealous losers. Cut the man some slack. Do you know how hard it is to write a Cease and Desist when you’ve been ingesting flecks of lead Balinese boat paint for years? God.
April 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm
Believe me, lead is one of the more benign materials in typical Balinese marine paint!
http://repository.dl.itc.u-tokyo.ac.jp/dspace/bitstream/2261/20997/1/CMS320117.pdf
April 24, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Wow. I wouldn’t touch a piece of that furniture with a ten foot pole, after reading that.
April 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Which is why Etsy killed my protest treasury warning people about it!
April 24, 2012 at 8:47 pm
but it’s okay for schools, right?
April 24, 2012 at 6:40 pm
You had me at Jesus ROLLERBLADING Christ! *swoon*
April 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm
I’m glad this guy included his state bar number at the end of his statement. I would have never believed he was a lawyer otherwise.
April 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm
He should’ve put gold star stickers next to it as well…it couldn’t hurt his credibility, anyway.
April 24, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Upcycling!
April 24, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Yes, it makes it all the easier to out him to the bar for making threats of litigation to gain an advantage, particularly in representing a family member (both of which have been mentioned earlier in the comments, but I couldn’t resist) as well as the countless mentions of anti-SLAPP shenanigans.
Unless the California Bar Association has a similar method of dealing with things to Etsy, of course.
April 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm
I googled the lawyer’s address they used in the C&D and HOLY SHIT if it’s not the address for the Concord Law School of Kaplan University
http://www.detc.org/school_details.php?id=187
I didn’t know Kaplan had a law school, so I learned something today.
April 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm
A “wholly online university” no less!
April 24, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Fun story about Kaplan. They were trying to scout my honey a while back for an admissions position (i.e salesman), and he wasn’t having any of it. We used to work for unemployment in our state, so we both know what kind of shittery they get up to. But while trying to get off the phone with the guy, the recruiter legit asked my boyfriend why he was opposed to straight commission, saying that it had “unlimited earning potential” and didn’t he think he was a good enough salesman?
“Sure I’m a good salesman, but even if I could con enough people into your shitty internet school, I wouldn’t want to. I’m an atheist, not an asshole.”
I love that man.
April 24, 2012 at 5:20 pm
He’s definitely a keeper.
April 25, 2012 at 9:05 am
I think I may have to use that one! “I’m an atheist, not an asshole.” Brilliant!
April 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm
I have long ignored Etsy’s many attempts to glaze over and overlook this type of garbage. No longer. This is my steppin’ razor kids, I’m out…..I’m closing all of my Etsy shops at the end of April. Period. And I won’t be shopping there either….
April 24, 2012 at 3:28 pm
I’m with you. Luckily for me, my favorite sellers have their own websites or other sales venues. Now to find a new home for my own wares.
April 25, 2012 at 8:11 am
I’ve pulled my few items from Etsy, and from now on if I see an item I like on there, I’ll contact the seller to ask if they sell elsewhere.
April 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Mariana of Fakeologica faked the shop, faked the letter from the builder, and has also faked this lawyer letter, I think. She claims to be from Brazil and this letter shows signs of English as a second language…
April 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
You can’t buy publicity like this!
April 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Oh shittles! That’s some of the best crease and desisting I’ve seen. The shitty grammar really paints such a vividly idiotic picture… probably painted with lead paint and recognized in the State of California to be a carcinogen too.
Here I am without nary a kernel of popcorn in sight. What’s a girl to do?
April 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Quick, run out and get some! There will be more comments to read when you get back.
April 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Damn. Now I want some popcorn. For real.
*tears self away from computer, lurches towards kitchen*
April 24, 2012 at 4:53 pm
I personally went and got some Cheetos.
April 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Am now nomming an entire bowl of popcorn, all by myself!
April 24, 2012 at 7:44 pm
Well then, thank the flying spaghetti monster for the jar of Whoppers I just found! Malted milk balls + fake lawyers x Etsy stupidity = good times.
April 25, 2012 at 8:14 am
There’s a thought – doesn’t the state of California get all bothered about dangerous substances? I wonder if someone could submit concerns about Ecologia Malibu selling unsafe furniture to the appropriate agency.
April 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
How about the fact that they not only shut down threads, but they STARTED a thread inviting comments as long as they didnt attack anyone, and then shut the whole thing down blaming people for attacking users and not the situation. Apparently its hard to delete individual posts when your head is too far up for ass to see them.
I would also like to see the original apologies. It would really be great to compare them side by side, makes it harder for them to cover up the bullshit. Though the seem to not really care and just keep trying to shove the dust bunnies under the rug even though they are now mutated dust lions that are sentient and out to get you.
April 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
all these words…i do not think they mean what you think they mean.
April 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Thumbs up to the Princess Bride reference!
April 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm
I’m fairly certain a Regretsian could pull a way more convincing legal argument out of their ass and make it coherent at the same time.
…On Vodka.
I’m still not even sure of what I just read there.
April 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Hell, Jacqueline Stallone pulled a more convincing legal letter out of her well-read ass, except for the part about her Internet speed, WHICH IS NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
April 24, 2012 at 3:55 pm
I love being reminded of that. God, that was beautiful.
I mean, not the asses….the fuckery.
April 24, 2012 at 10:27 pm
Her well-read ass? If she can read her own ass, I’m actually more impressed.
April 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm
It appears that Howard’s law office is in his residence, a small house in Torrence, CA. Listings also show he’s a general practice attorney, which usually means his picture is shown under every listing in the phone book that mentions “attorney”. (“Automobile Injury? Call Us NOW!” “We Defend Drunk Drivers. Call us NOW!” “Divorce? Call us NOW!” “Can’t Make Child Support Payments? Call us NOW!”)
I wonder if this picture is also under listings for “furniture”, “crafty”, “shady” and “comedians”. (“Need a New Hand-crafted Table for that Special Occasion? Call us NOW!” “In Search of the Perfect Collective? Call Us NOW!” “Love That Smell of Burning Flesh? Call Us NOW!” Party Entertainment? Call us NOW!”)
April 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Those last two in particular would give me pause if they were listed next to each other.
April 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Seeing that they’ve sold so much since your article..I do not think they can claim it is damaging her company in any way. She had only 60 sales all this began.
April 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Isn’t this a conflict of interest since he was the one signing for the bill of lading? Apologies if someone noted this earlier.
April 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm
oh SHIT!! really?! that’s supremely awesome!
April 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I think they’re related too.
April 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Well-noted!
April 25, 2012 at 9:50 am
Don’t think that constitutes a conflict. If he is acting as her attorney he can do both.
April 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm
That guy’s been practicing law for 39 years… awesome.
April 24, 2012 at 3:24 pm
One fine example of practice not making perfect.
April 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I need to learn to cross stich so I can make a “treats are also crimes” sampler!
April 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm
damn T key
April 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
or “Govern yourself accordingly”
April 24, 2012 at 2:56 pm
April’s Army next sale!
“Govern Yourself Accordingly” cross-stich tissue box cover. Please please please please please.
My clown needs punching.
April 24, 2012 at 5:47 pm
It’s a draft– official pattern coming soon to my wepay shop. Because fuck Etsy and Fuck Paypal, that’s why.
April 24, 2012 at 6:22 pm
Can you name your WePay shop “Confederation of Dunces”? You know, just because…
April 24, 2012 at 3:04 pm
I want that on a t-shirt! I NEED it!
April 24, 2012 at 3:07 pm
I’d LOVE to see that!
April 24, 2012 at 6:11 pm
April 24, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Thank you thank you thank you! I didn’t see the cupcake coming
April 25, 2012 at 8:32 pm
You just saw it wiping something off the floor and guessed?
April 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm
No attorney writes his own documents (having worked for one, trust me, the spelling would be worse) what I want to know is how his secretary got the job…
April 24, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Daddy’s little girl got thrown out of boarding school?
April 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm
I know right? He should hire me, I could eat a bag of Krystal’s and shit a better C&D.
April 24, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Have you seen the James Spader movie, “Secretary”? This is how she got the job:
April 24, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Close your eyes and think of Daniel Jackson, hon.
April 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm
thats a good one lol
April 24, 2012 at 4:08 pm
you rock! I love that movie! and seven peas.
April 25, 2012 at 10:23 am
I thought it was four….
April 24, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Yea, thats pretty much how I figured it happened.
April 24, 2012 at 9:21 pm
YES!!! Finally, goddammit. Every time someone mentions how the lawyer never writes their own letter, it’s secretary, this movie pop into my head. “Oooooh, Mr. Grey.”
April 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Everyone should have known this would be a mess. Look at that bitch’s hipster douche glasses.
April 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I wouldn’t accept writing like that from one of my undergraduates – why would anyone think it constitutes a serious legal letter?
Has the man never heard of commas???
April 24, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Granted that I’m only a freelance tutor, but I don’t accept that shit from my middle schoolers. Ali Baba on a turkey vulture.
April 24, 2012 at 5:39 pm
Blast. Now my brain is going to be repeating that phrase over and over, because it loves doofy things like that.
*shakes fist*
April 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm
I tried, I really did. Three times I tried but I just can NOT get beyond the first paragraph of that letter. The grammar and spelling give me an agonizing headache. I had a wisdom tooth surgically removed last Thursday and I think the pain from trying to read that was actually worse! >_<
April 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Ok after consuming yet more coffee I finally made it through all that. And yet… I still have no idea just what the hell I just read. I know those words are English but I do not think any of them mean what they think they mean.
April 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm
I just skipped through and looked at the bolded parts. I think it made more sense than reading it all the way through.
April 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Yeah, usually when I’m reading stuff like that and figuring out what the author’s trying to say it’s because they’ve paid me to do it.
April 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm
From the WSJ article: “(Etsy’s CSI-related products include a “Future CSI” baby bib for $7.) The company calls the investigators the Marketplace Integrity and Trust & Safety teams.” I just threw up. And it was spaghetti.
April 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Now if only you had eaten spaghetti.
April 24, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Seriously? Could that name make it anymore obvious that’s just a made up bullshit job?
April 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Dear Howard and Mariana,
You obviously import Balinese furniture that Kurt’s company sources and makes, some according to Mariana’s specs. Why not just sell the furniture in the right venue and not an Etsy, claiming Mariana makes it by hand (with her “cooperative”)? You could have saved everyone all of this agony by coming clean when questioned.
Best regards,
The Internet
April 24, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Not enough broken English. They’ll never be able to understand.
April 24, 2012 at 3:19 pm
AND YOU MUST USE CAPS LOCK TO REALLY MAKE IT ALL LEGAL-EY.
April 24, 2012 at 5:30 pm
aLtErNaTiNg CaPs-LoCk mAkEs iT MoRe LeGaL-eY.
April 24, 2012 at 7:11 pm
I know, right? All this angst and anxiety and hostility over an Esty shop? They probably sell more of this stuff on Overstock and through their own web site. And now good old Howard is making a jackass out of himself on the web when they obviously don’t need the money or the fractional revenue they make from Etsy.
April 24, 2012 at 2:34 pm
So this guy’s been practicing law in the state of California since 1973, or, for nearly 40 years, and he tries to pass broken English off as legal documents?
If he really wrote that garbage, somebody needs to file a complaint about him to the State Bar of California: http://www.calbar.ca.gov/Attorneys/LawyerRegulation/FilingaComplaint.aspx
April 24, 2012 at 2:56 pm
As mentioned above, here’s one thing to complain about, from http://www.law.cornell.edu/ethics/ca/narr/CA_NARR_4.HTM:
4.4:220 Threatening Prosecution
DR 7-105(A) prohibits lawyers from attempting to gain an advantage in a civil proceeding by threatening to bring a criminal prosecution. CRPC 5-100 contains a broader provision, stating that “[a] member shall not threaten to present criminal, administrative, or disciplinary charges to obtain an advantage in a civil dispute.” CRPC 5-100(B) defines the term “administrative charges” to include “the filing or lodging of a complaint with a federal, state, or local government entity which may order or recommend the loss or suspension of a license, or may impose or recommend the imposition of a fine, pecuniary sanction, or other sanction of a quasi-criminal nature. . . .”
April 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Perhaps we should just make our own version of Etsy except we will actually deal with resellers and whatnot. It would be cool if any fees that were collected were used purely for the upkeep of the site and the rest donated to charities. Also calling out would be encouraged.
April 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm
I’d be a huge fan of the “say one bad thing about the shop owner next to you” meetings <3
April 24, 2012 at 2:40 pm
You can’t get better without criticism anyway! I draw and I suck at it so I would rather know what to do to suck less then be told how awesomely amazing it is and continue sucking while also living in a bubble of delusion.
April 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Exactly! Also..being mean feels good.
April 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm
We’re only mean because we are fat jealous losers! But hey cake is good so whatever!
April 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm
There were some efforts to get that going (Even Badgers)… it’s times like these I really wish I had a head for computerin’.
April 24, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Yeah same here, I might take some web design classes if I can ever manage to get my butt back to college.
April 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Personally, I find legal documents that read as though they were written by Nigerian princes very, very intimidating. /shudder
April 24, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Me too! I’se skeered mommy!!
April 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm
If I’m not mistaken, I think someone said Kurt spelled his own name wrong. Any proof of this?
April 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm
This has nothing to do with any of this but I like your icon. I’m a big Dresden Dolls fan.
April 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm
No, he didn’t. But when Mariana quoted him in her rebuttal, she spelled it Einchorn.”
April 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Ahhh ok got it. I knew it was misspelled somewhere along the way.
April 24, 2012 at 4:26 pm
In the email she supposedly copied and pasted from Kurt, he signs his name as Kurt Einchorn. It could have been misspelled by her, but it looks more like the whole thing was created by her.
April 24, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I wonder if anyone actually sent that ‘email’ to Kurt, and if seeing that would change his feelings on this whole mess.
April 24, 2012 at 6:41 pm
In the email you posted above it says “Kurt Eichhorn” in the from field. On the All From Boats website it says “Kurt Eichorn”. And in Mariana’s fake email from him it says “Kurt Einchorn”. So which one is correct? If the All From Boats spelling is presumed to be accurate, does that mean the email someone forwarded you could potentially be a fake? Or does Kurt just spell his name differently every time?
April 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm
He’s in Indonesia, quite likely not a native English speaker, with lots of other simple spelling mistakes that make it pretty clear typing precisely isn’t his highest priority. So I wouldn’t be surprised if his name is misspelled (by him) as well.
April 25, 2012 at 7:54 am
He’s a German native living in Indonesia. I doubt he’d misspell his own name like that. It’s pretty suspect.
April 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm
I feel like some of the stuff in that letter doesn’t even count because of the spelling. “Threats? I was just told to stop the TREATS.” Seriously!
April 24, 2012 at 4:00 pm
“…these comments may be grounds from discipline,…”
Do you realize what that says?
It means that if you make comments like these, you won’t be disciplined. Or more accurately, may not be disciplined.
In legalese, that means a lot. One simple typo changed the whole meaning of the sentence.
If I had received that C&D, I would go to my FB page, quote that line, and say as much crap as I could!
April 24, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Not to mention ‘treats’ instead of ‘threats’!
April 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Honestly, I’d send a letter back requesting that Mr Schecter review his knowledge of slander and libel laws before attempting to use his position to intimidate innocent people from exercising their right to free speech. Particularly when there is not only evidence to support them, but when he is accusing them of causing deliberate harm. Is there a law against malicious litigation in CA? If so, he might want to review that, too.
April 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm
See: http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/anti-slapp-law-california
April 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Love that idea. Or just write “See me after class” in red on the top of the paper.
April 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm
THIS. Not enough likes in the world.
April 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm
You made my first day of posting (instead of just creeping) feel less scary. Thank you <3
April 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Or just send a copy of the thing back with red biro corrections throughout and a “must try harder”.
April 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Not to mention, “Next time, please use a darker crayon.”
April 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Lazy wiki quote here but it reasonably describes my understanding of what a collective is:
“A “work collective” is a type of horizontal collectivism wherein a business functions as a partnership of individual professionals, recognizing them as equals and rewarding them for their expertise. The working collective aims to reduce costs to clients while maintaining healthy rewards for participating partners. This is accomplished by eliminating the operating costs that are needed to support levels of management”
More misleading bullshit there then.
So funny that though Herr Eichhom has no objections to Mariana’s claim that she makes his furniture but that he “only find that very craszy”.
April 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm
So that means she shares the profits EQUALLY with the members of her collective… right… sure she does…
April 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm
The best defense against slander and libel is… the truth. No worries on this one.
April 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm
The more parties insisting they’re correct and trying to do damage control when the damage is already done, the better.
The more guilty parties insisting they’re correct and trying to do damage control (when the damage is already done) the better.
April 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm
You guys are being way harsh. Don’t you know Etsy needs to hit certain profit numbers before it releases that rumored IPO. Can’t get rid of all those highly profitable resellers now, gotta hit those numbers or the investors will freak out and bail…
…I mean, moustaches, lots and lots of moustaches! And fingerless gloves!
Go on Etsy, keep fuckin that chicken.
April 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm
“Go on Etsy, keep fuckin that chicken.”
Priceless.
April 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm
HOLY SHIT I had never read about that. It explains a LOT. Seems to me the guy who started Etsy refused to damage the integrity of the marketplace by allowing the resellers in, so they booted him.
April 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Hahahahaha, he entered the Bar in 73, and Mariana is 30, she is the perfect little trophy wife!!! Show us the damage!!!!You can’t cease and desist by email anyhow!
http://members.calbar.ca.gov/fal/Member/Detail/58828
April 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Wow…he has to be around 65 at least! Is it possible he is her Dad? And she is from Brazil, right? So maybe English is not his first language?
I don’t know, just grasping at straws. =)
April 24, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Are you asking if he’s her Dad or her Daddy?
April 24, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Someone in the original post looked him up and he’s around 69 years old. He’s her husband.
April 25, 2012 at 4:21 am
I’m over 50, myself, and that still grosses me out.
April 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm
I hope this shit hits the mainstream media fan!!