It’s only through Regretsy that I learned that there are good and bad taxidermists, and that stuffing a dead animal is actually an art. This is not good taxidermy.
True story–I actually braved the basement to find my middle school yearbook, pulled out the one from 7th grade and discovered that middle-school-me had scribbled the picture out…if only I had known this face was marketable on Etsy…sigh
A likely story…
Isn’t this what Facebook groups are for though? For people to post class photos and tag all their grade school classmates who would rather not remember their awkward years?
I almost peed when I saw how big this fucking cat is smiling. Jesus. Someone fed him MDMA prior to shooting him?? I can’t think of another explanation…
These taxidermys are making my son scream- THANK YOU for my son’s nightmare tonight……. I plan to tell him it was real and this life is a dream….. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I laughed so hard my bf came in from the other room to see what was up and make sure I was still breathing. I suspect that saying “Haayy” to each other in a sleazy voice is gonna be our new thing.
(Our previous thing was yelling “BENJAMIN MOORE” at each other in a gravelly Brooklyn accent. Yeah, I dunno either.)
I’m sorry, but is that Richard Simmons? I’m apologizing because if it’s not him, I don’t want to introduce him into the thread. Looks too young to be Bob “Happy Fluffy Clouds” Ross. :-\
So, are those, like, cat dentures? Did all his teeth fall out? I’m wondering if I can get those for my house cats, cause they’ve got stained teeth and that’s just not natural.
Those look like repurposed Billy Bob Teeth. Use ‘em for yourself on Halloween and when you get tired of ‘em, slap them into the stuffed bobcat of your choice.
I’m waiting for the bobcat with the windup chattering teeth.
I hope that dead cat doesn’t become a Regretsy meme. It’s total nightmare fuel, even more disturbing than Goatse. At least no one was selling that picture on Etsy! I am now going to think about soft, fluffy Hellephants.
I think if one is the sort to enjoy a good piece of taxidermy (I wouldn’t know for sure, since I am not), they would rather it smile gleefully than grimace. You know, as if to say, “It’s all good that not only was I killed, but now I am stuffed and sitting in your living room floor for eternity! No really! I enjoy the color scheme you have going on in here!”
Is that poor pussycat cross-eyed? It needs to be seen by an opthalmologist. Surely there has to be an opthalmologist specialising in dead bobcats in the local area. Also a visit to a dentist wouldn’t go astray. Maybe some braces and spectacles might make him a bit less – something. Or more.
I both love you and hate you now, Rawr, which is fitting, since my reaction to CrappyTaxidermy is to alternate between wanting to laugh and scream. Occasionally I do both, which sounds sort of like a strange hiccup.
I think I just woke up my room mates, I never laughed so hard at a Regretsy Math! At 7 am! You can’t buy entertainment like this for all the money in the world. <3
It’s actually got Tom Cruise-itis, what with the wonky-ass placement of the teeth in relation to the nose. Difference being, if you’re gluing in plastic teeth from Party City, you oughta be able to get it right. Ditto for the bobcat.
So this is what Dental Appliance specialists do in their spare time with the mouthguards and dentures that don’t fit. He’s never putting anything in my mouth again.
April 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I can’t tell whose teeth are the fakest.
April 18, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Jennifer Aniston’s.
April 19, 2012 at 4:24 am
John Wayne’s.
April 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I WANT THIS.
April 19, 2012 at 6:41 am
It’s only through Regretsy that I learned that there are good and bad taxidermists, and that stuffing a dead animal is actually an art. This is not good taxidermy.
April 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm
I am making a similar face in my middle school yearbook photo.
April 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Proof please.
April 18, 2012 at 10:36 pm
True story–I actually braved the basement to find my middle school yearbook, pulled out the one from 7th grade and discovered that middle-school-me had scribbled the picture out…if only I had known this face was marketable on Etsy…sigh
April 18, 2012 at 11:29 pm
Time to ask your friends from middle school for help!
April 19, 2012 at 5:16 am
I’m sure it’s on classmates.com
April 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm
A likely story…
Isn’t this what Facebook groups are for though? For people to post class photos and tag all their grade school classmates who would rather not remember their awkward years?
April 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Dead things do not belong inside.
April 18, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Shit! Don’t tell The Bloggess!
April 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I almost peed when I saw how big this fucking cat is smiling. Jesus. Someone fed him MDMA prior to shooting him?? I can’t think of another explanation…
April 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm
I peed.
April 18, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Hey, was I imagining it, or were you gone for a while? I was getting worried…
April 18, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Yeah, BGS, you’ve been missed!! Come here and let me give you a big hug and scritch behind the ears!!
Huggles!
April 19, 2012 at 2:24 pm
*licks Mugsy’s hand*
*jumps on Mugsy’s lap*
*licks my own drool off of Mugsy’s face*
April 19, 2012 at 2:22 pm
yeah…bummer…I was in the joint man.
April 19, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Hope you shivved someone, just for the hell of it. Gotta keep ‘em on their toes!
April 19, 2012 at 7:32 pm
That’s s-h-i-v-v-e-d, not shiwed. I don’t know what shiwed is.
April 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm
“Hey guys! Wanna play? My mom will make us Nesquick!”
April 18, 2012 at 5:09 pm
April 18, 2012 at 5:20 pm
This is the only pet my landlord will let me have
It’s name is Hideous Kitty, and it wants to be your friend.
April 18, 2012 at 6:33 pm
April 18, 2012 at 6:35 pm
All these taxidermied animals with weird expressions are making me cackle manically.
April 18, 2012 at 7:07 pm
“Oh, SHIT!”
April 18, 2012 at 7:57 pm
There are so damn many, I don’t know if I should laugh for the funny or cry for the animals.*
(*except the dead bird. never the dead bird.)
April 18, 2012 at 7:58 pm
April 18, 2012 at 8:37 pm
This made me laugh so hard I am both crying and peed a little. I know TMI.
April 18, 2012 at 10:42 pm
Great. Now EVERYONE in the house is awake and pissed off at me.
April 19, 2012 at 12:12 am
Did they use dried banana pieces for the eyes (shudder)
April 19, 2012 at 10:54 am
These taxidermys are making my son scream- THANK YOU for my son’s nightmare tonight……. I plan to tell him it was real and this life is a dream….. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
April 18, 2012 at 10:02 pm
April 18, 2012 at 5:29 pm
I laughed so hard my bf came in from the other room to see what was up and make sure I was still breathing. I suspect that saying “Haayy” to each other in a sleazy voice is gonna be our new thing.
(Our previous thing was yelling “BENJAMIN MOORE” at each other in a gravelly Brooklyn accent. Yeah, I dunno either.)
April 18, 2012 at 5:49 pm
I read it as a greeting, like Haaa-aaay!
April 18, 2012 at 6:21 pm
“Haayy! Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see- *bang!* -meouch!”
April 19, 2012 at 7:27 am
Paging Arthur Fonzarelli!
April 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Did any one of you bastards bother to ASK this bobcat why he grins? Hmm?
April 18, 2012 at 4:48 pm
That grin certainly made me want to paint my pants with all the colors of the wind … or something like that.
April 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm
I didn’t think I needed to since I can already paint with all the colours of the wind.
April 18, 2012 at 6:17 pm
This is why.
And we can all thank him.
April 18, 2012 at 6:56 pm
I’m sorry, but is that Richard Simmons? I’m apologizing because if it’s not him, I don’t want to introduce him into the thread. Looks too young to be Bob “Happy Fluffy Clouds” Ross. :-\
April 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm
It’s Richard immons.
April 19, 2012 at 1:23 am
So, not Richard Simmons, then?
April 18, 2012 at 7:44 pm
Richard Simmons is the only guy who could possibly out-smile that dead cat.
April 18, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Don’t be too sure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPFHJ-Zx7qo
April 18, 2012 at 10:45 pm
GOATSE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 19, 2012 at 8:04 am
I thought it was Bruce Jenner.
April 19, 2012 at 12:14 am
The Davey Jones eye twinkle is a nice touch!!
April 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Regretsy Math strikes again. Poor Jennifer Aniston./sarcasm
April 18, 2012 at 6:03 pm
I totally read that as “snarkasm.” But I guess that would be redundant.
April 18, 2012 at 4:39 pm
He’s just so damn happy!
April 18, 2012 at 4:40 pm
So, are those, like, cat dentures? Did all his teeth fall out? I’m wondering if I can get those for my house cats, cause they’ve got stained teeth and that’s just not natural.
April 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Cat dentures? lol
April 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Like Doggy Dentures, but for cats!
April 20, 2012 at 3:03 am
Those look like repurposed Billy Bob Teeth. Use ‘em for yourself on Halloween and when you get tired of ‘em, slap them into the stuffed bobcat of your choice.
I’m waiting for the bobcat with the windup chattering teeth.
April 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Umm it looks like a domestic cat who had its poor tail cut off and was run over by a tractor.
April 18, 2012 at 4:51 pm
How Dare You, I’m sure Jennifer Aniston is much nicer in person.
April 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm
I do not have enough thumbs for your comment. XD
April 19, 2012 at 12:54 am
Goddamnit, I just spit this delicious beer over my keyboard.
April 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm
I hope that dead cat doesn’t become a Regretsy meme. It’s total nightmare fuel, even more disturbing than Goatse. At least no one was selling that picture on Etsy! I am now going to think about soft, fluffy Hellephants.
April 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm
Whineston is the nightmare.
April 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm
We found the body for the Hellcat! http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/23/hellcat/
April 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm
My attempt (I was never good at math):
April 18, 2012 at 5:49 pm
WIN.
April 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm
That vapid smile, combined with those dull, dead-doll eyes really scares me!
The bobcat, on the other hand, is kind of cute.
April 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm
My god that’s derpish.
April 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Also, someone needs to tell the Bloggess about this.
April 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm
“Very nice?” Um, no…
Scary eyes? Yes.
April 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm
If that’s “very nice” taxidermy I’d hate to see mediocre.
April 18, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Why does this website keep featuring things I want? I can’t budget for this stuff so I’ll just admire from afar.
April 18, 2012 at 5:16 pm
You probably thought this bobcat was alive. NOPE! Chuck Testa!
April 18, 2012 at 5:26 pm
ZOMG IT’S GARY BUSEY CAT.
Well. If Gary Busey were happy instead of angry. But the teeth the teeth THE TEETH.
April 18, 2012 at 5:37 pm
Jeez, talk about a receding gumline…
Here’s what it SHOULD look like:
April 18, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Fixed it.
April 18, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Do you think the mummy cat in the Regretsy Math is reacting to Jennifer Aniston or his fellow feline’s fraudulently fanged face?
April 18, 2012 at 5:48 pm
I haven’t seen a Bobcat this fucked up since “Shakes the Clown”
April 18, 2012 at 6:44 pm
Thanks for the nightmare fuel.
April 18, 2012 at 5:59 pm
I think if one is the sort to enjoy a good piece of taxidermy (I wouldn’t know for sure, since I am not), they would rather it smile gleefully than grimace. You know, as if to say, “It’s all good that not only was I killed, but now I am stuffed and sitting in your living room floor for eternity! No really! I enjoy the color scheme you have going on in here!”
April 18, 2012 at 6:01 pm
I’m not sure whether I’m horrified or stoked that this item is in my city. If it weren’t so expensive, I’d buy it and send it to HK.
April 18, 2012 at 6:03 pm
April 18, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Limited edition: I ran out of wax vampire teeth and they’re not around again til Halloween.
April 18, 2012 at 6:14 pm
This is why the Cheshire Cat went with human dentures – it only now makes sense!
April 18, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Is that poor pussycat cross-eyed? It needs to be seen by an opthalmologist. Surely there has to be an opthalmologist specialising in dead bobcats in the local area. Also a visit to a dentist wouldn’t go astray. Maybe some braces and spectacles might make him a bit less – something. Or more.
April 18, 2012 at 6:39 pm
I kind of want to make this my desktop wallpaper. Every time I look it I just smile. It would be awesome for depressing days.
April 18, 2012 at 6:42 pm
HILLBILLY BOBCAT!
April 18, 2012 at 6:54 pm
This is the vibe I’m getting.
April 18, 2012 at 7:21 pm
If this is their ‘Very Nice’ category of taxedermy work, I do *not* want to see their average version.
Nah, I lied. I do want to see those.
April 18, 2012 at 7:21 pm
*taxidermy
April 18, 2012 at 9:25 pm
taxiderpy.
April 18, 2012 at 7:52 pm
You REALLY dislike Jennifer Aniston, don’t you?
I’m not arguing with you, by the way.
April 18, 2012 at 8:45 pm
This is the best Regretsy math ever. It really does look like those two combined into one freakish being!
April 18, 2012 at 8:16 pm
Pretty sure that front tooth is just a chicklet.
April 18, 2012 at 8:17 pm
Just noticed my avatar guy has wonky teeth – so I shouldn’t talk.
April 19, 2012 at 2:53 am
Technically, it’s wonky tooth.
April 18, 2012 at 8:54 pm
Veery Nice – ‘ow muuch?
(Borat voice)
April 18, 2012 at 9:39 pm
If you shoot a Bobcat in a Mushroom patch, this is bound to be the result.
April 18, 2012 at 10:49 pm
“Excellent condition” must mean something totally different in taxidermy-talk.
April 18, 2012 at 11:21 pm
Oooooh, apparently there’s a CrappyTaxidermy.com. FUCK YEAH.
April 19, 2012 at 7:31 am
I had to look. And now I’m sorry.
April 19, 2012 at 5:20 pm
I both love you and hate you now, Rawr, which is fitting, since my reaction to CrappyTaxidermy is to alternate between wanting to laugh and scream. Occasionally I do both, which sounds sort of like a strange hiccup.
April 18, 2012 at 11:24 pm
HAI GUIZE.
April 18, 2012 at 11:25 pm
WE WERE NOT MEANT TO BE.
April 19, 2012 at 7:32 am
Say, isn’t that John Malkovich?
April 18, 2012 at 11:26 pm
HELLO LADIES.
April 19, 2012 at 12:11 am
Thanks to Rawr the Dinosaur, I’ve just discovered my new internet obsession at crappytaxidermy.com. If I’m not back in three days, please send rum.
April 19, 2012 at 1:25 am
“Very nice” as in “Not very nice at all”?
April 19, 2012 at 2:17 am
My brother had a jackalope. When he died, that was the only thing among all his posessions that I wanted, but suddenly no one knew where it was.
April 19, 2012 at 3:38 am
April 19, 2012 at 7:19 am
I think I just woke up my room mates, I never laughed so hard at a Regretsy Math! At 7 am! You can’t buy entertainment like this for all the money in the world. <3
April 19, 2012 at 7:19 am
It’s actually got Tom Cruise-itis, what with the wonky-ass placement of the teeth in relation to the nose. Difference being, if you’re gluing in plastic teeth from Party City, you oughta be able to get it right. Ditto for the bobcat.
http://www.wtnperioblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/images91.jpg
April 19, 2012 at 9:04 am
So this is what Dental Appliance specialists do in their spare time with the mouthguards and dentures that don’t fit. He’s never putting anything in my mouth again.
April 19, 2012 at 9:53 am
The least they could have done was centered the fucking teeth in the mouth. Jegus. At least it has the creep factor going for it.
April 19, 2012 at 10:25 am
Well, that link took a crap. Let’s try that again.
April 19, 2012 at 3:08 pm
NO NOT THE CUPCAKES!