Have you SEEN some of the 17 year olds this day and age? I get carded at 29… but I know some who, if I were to give money to and say “Buy me that bottle of horny goat weed/wine/whiskey/cigarettes, whatever” with nary a side eye or “Can we see ID?” Face it, kids don’t stay chubby cheeked and innocent looking long. I know a 16 year old who is very sweet, but looks like a 50 year old woman… too tight, too bleached, too everything.
Exactly! I am going to be the sole person to advocate for this dress and her sanity. I AM NOT a Twihard or whatever the spaghettios they are calling themselves these days but I appreciate her creativity, her balls to wear this out in public and the work that went into it. Now trying to sell it to others? That is pure regretsy/etsy magic. The world is full of bland outfits, this inspires discussion and boggles the mind.
Anything Rankin/Bass is God-like in my book. Then again, I have an unhealthy obsession with stop-motion animation. I suppose there are worse unhealthy obsessions, like Twilight themed prom dresses.
Back in the very early 90s I worked in a video rental store. They had a rack to put out movies related to whichever holiday was closest. This was way before the WWW was a big thing.
One day around Christmas, this group of college kids came in and asked for the special with Heat/Snow Miser. Neither I nor the other clerk could remember which one it was, so we played through all the RB tapes we had on FF using the store’s TV until we found it.
The odd thing was, they weren’t the only ones. A week or so later, another group of college kids came in and asked the same thing. We only had one copy and I think that tape was out more or less through Christmas.
Miser fandom goes back a long way, apparently. The RB tapes were all new, so that may have been the first year they were available on video.
The main thing I remember was both groups were at least four people, all adults. The first group stood around the TV and cheered when we finally found the right tape. XD
No no…..plus girls know better than to wear tacky… Well sadly these two didn’t but honestly we already have the whole big girls have no fashion sense stereotype going for us….then you add this travesty and people just think plus girls have no sense too.
Amen! It’s all her own doing, I’m sure. And from the expressions on her face, she may know it’s over the top and done it for fun. That’s certainly not a prom behind her!
I’m gonna guess some kind of Twilight book signing/luncheon….if they have that sort of thing. I mainly assume this because I want to believe that no one would EVER wear that dress as a dress and not a costume/joke.
It…looks like a room at a science fiction convention. Most of those are held at hotels, so it isn’t really telling, but that’s the vibe I’m getting from the photo. A costume like that wouldn’t be entirely out of place at such an event…but most SF fans I know wouldn’t fly the Twi flag like that. If that really is a con, I weep for the future of my tribe.
It’s Stephenie, which I only know because it’s like a needle in my brain. Your first mistake was assuming that someone who can’t write had parents who would spell her name a way anyone else would get right.
Her parents did that to her name because her dad’s name is Stephen. This is apparently the ‘inspiration’ for the cracked name-smushing she did for the kid.
I love Fandom Wank, but the useless information I pick up there always overwrites my memory allocation for where I left my goddamned glasses and keys.
As a Jennefer who is neither Mormon nor whose parents mashed their own name into this misspelled travesty I’ve had to deal with my whole life, I do have the tiniest bit of sympathy for Ms. Meyer. Not enough to forgive her for inflicting Twilight on us, but a little.
My name is Stephenie. I’m named after my father and until this bint came on the scene I never had a reason to be ashamed of my name. Now it causes me nothing but grief. Think I’m gonna change it to something like “Not-THAT-Stephenie-the SANE-ish-one”
Actually, there are other people out there named “Stephenie”. The only example I can think of is that one of the set designers for the Harry Potter movies is a woman named Stephenie McMillan, who has also worked on Notting Hill and A Fish Called Wanda. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0573328/
But it’s quite a nicely-made dress, apart from the Christmas tree lights and the oh-my-what-is-that-face-doing-there split personality thing. And the tinfoil, which I feel should have been somewhere different.
It looks to me like it’s separates, and the top and bottom aren’t attached to each other. That way the sweaty top could be cleaned without messing up the lights in the skirt.
Yes, you would, but skirts don’t tend to get sweaty (and if you’re getting a hoop skirt sweaty, I don’t wanna know how) and would need to be laundered less often. It also allows for more of a custom fit and hides flaws of the body more.
Wish I had a dime for every time I was shopping and muttered, “I hope the buyer who thought this would be a good idea in size 20 got fired.” I’m middle-aged and my greatest wish is to blend in. Hard to do whilst wearing faux cheetah, zebra, or giraffe. I would look like I got kicked out of the sub-Saharan all-u-can-eat safari buffet.
I really wonder if they had zoo animals design the prints. Like by putting paint on their feet. It’s the only way I can rationalize the puke-like prints mixed with animal prints that I see in the plus sized sections.
There are some plus-size women who want to stand out in a crowd.
I like to stand out, but for me, that does not involve LEDs, mismatched shoes, strangulating foundation garments, or the skins of animals who were half my size when alive.
Also, by “stand out,” I do not mean “like a target.”
Okay, you got me, I didn’t actually spew Sprite. I did almost shoot it out my nose and it burned and made my eyes water.
I’ve been at Regretsy since almost the beginning, you’d think I’d learn not to drink while reading the comments. I figured I’d heard all the Twi-tard jokes by now though.
If you hate Twilight as much as I do, read Stoney321′s fuckerific summary of the Twilight books series while she also points out neon flashing LDS dogma. It’s quite hysterical. The photos really make it even better as Stoney rips S. Meyer a new one in what Stoney calls “Sparkledamerung”: http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html
Thanks for passing this link on…it is fricken heelarious and so worth wasting my time at work to read. The last pic of the first post really made me squawk out loud with the laughins.
It’s a standard thing to just put something like that in comments on reddit since they don’t actually show up and people son’t click on them. Just putting the name of the gif gets the idea across, since everyone knows what the gif is, anyway.
thatsthejoke.gif
I want this, i mean really, I want it to wear to the Breaking Dawn Part 2 premiere! I’ll go stand at LA Live with this dress and wear it proudly! Think about how many news outlets I could get on!
I just logged in to say something about that. The misaligned top and bottom seams are one of THE EASIEST things to avoid and she un-nailed it by a good inch at least. How anybody could make such an obvious mistake like that and still charge money for it is baffling. That is grade F seamstress work right there and I’m only embarrassed for this girl in regards to the shoddy half-assed attempt and NOT the theme, subject or artistic relevance of her work.
The misaligned seams are a way of distracting people who sew from the horrible boning, the wrinkled/stretched seams, the lack of proper facing from the hoop to the bottom of the hem and the dreadful lack of ironing. So much work on these .. items … and such a shortage of finesse. Makes me miss ‘Am I Period or Not?’, sniff.
The bad hoop was driving me CRAZY! That is definitely the part that’s pissing me off. If you’re going to wear a hoop, make sure it fits right and doesn’t have unsightly drop-off afterwards!
But I think the stretched seams are just due to the use of cheap fabric, and the lack of ironing is because this photo was clearly taken some way through the evening (and again, the cheap fabric) – in which case, kudos to the wearer for it NOT being covered in other people’s drinks. Or her own.
The hoop display, on the other hand, I just put down to inexperience. But then, there’s no excuse for the way that shoulder decoration is about to gag and strangle her.
Maybe it’s two pieces? That way, when she turns the top goes with her and the bottom stays stationery? Sorry. I don’t know why I’m trying to justify this.
I saw the photos, but I honestly didn’t make the connection–that the top was a top (especially since the seller doesn’t say it’s a 2-piece dress). I thought it was a drawstring bag.
I pray the reason this girl is selling this is because she saw the pictures of her in it and realized how totally stupid she looked wearing that thing.
Please let me keep my one last shred of hope for humanity…
It doesn’t look like prom behind her – probably a wedding. What if there were a whole group of bridesmaids with dresses like that? :::shudder::: The Twitard wedding is the new Hobo wedding.
Yeah, the first words out of my mouth upon looking at the first photo was “Oh honey, aren’t you a bit old to be gluing the faces of tween heartthrobs onto formal wear?” I’m no good at guessing ages, but I’d guess her be in her mid to late twenties at the very least. I don’t know if she wore these at two different occasions or what, because I swear she looks older in the 2nd pic, but maybe it’s the angle, lighting, whatever. Anyway, whatever it is going on here, I doubt it’s a prom and somehow that makes it even more horrific.
I don’t know, her profile said she was the mom of a four year old. Of course, I guess that doesn’t necessarily mean much for a variety of possible reasons.
Being mid twenties myself people usually guess me to be younger, which is rather funny because when I was 15-16 people always assumed me to be older. I have no idea why, but I figure that’s why I’m no good at guessing (but evidently I’m not alone LOL).
Yeah I get that a lot too, but I’ve always been mistaken for younger. I still get carded for 18+ things, and I’ve been mistaken for a 12-15 year old when I was at least 19-20 at the time.
I’m also horrible at guessing other peoples ages.
I’m the same way, but now people either think I’m 18 or 34, not sure why, but now I really hate it when people think I’m older; hell, I’m dreading my 25th birthday in a few weeks, ugh. It was cool as a teenager, not so much as an adult…It’s like when people tell me how much I look like my mother; yeah, that’s exactly what I want to hear. -.-’
True story: When I was waiting tables, I carded two guys for their drinks. They started laughing. The first guy showed me his license and he was in his early 40s, pointed across the table, and said, “That’s my father.”
I’m really bad at guessing ages and I wasn’t that good at waiting tables either. But I did get a good tip from them…
It’s definitely a convention. And probably not a twilight-only convention, because all the other guests in the ballroom seem to be cowering against the walls.
I’m guessing because, according to the smashing Movies in 10 Minutes review, Jacob runs a bad fever right before he fursplodes for the first time. A fever of ‘one hundred and werewolf’, as I recall.
Of course, it could also be simply because Jacob still has a body temperature at all.
Also I think he is supposed to have a higher-than-normal body temperature and keeps Bella warm when she is freezing at some point or something like that.
Wait what? That Lava boy movie came out when I was well into my teens, and you are saying the kid my younger sisters are OBSESSED over was someone who … OMG MY AGE HAS JUST BECOME REAL.
btw I’m sorry to all those who are even older than my youthful arse but the shock required comment.
(it also says alot about the movie that neither you nor I remembered that he was in fact Sharkboy, yes I looked it up)
Sigh. I was well into my thirties when that movie came out.
Speaking of people in their thirties, here’s something scary: Macaulay Culkin, age 31. Ever see “Home Alone”? Well, I DROVE myself to the theater to see it when I was a teen.
My former daughter-in-law just called me and asked if I could either a) take this dress in if she bought it (she’s a size 8 ) or make her one just like it.
.
.
.
.
Can I use this as grounds to get custody of my grandsons?
God, yes!!! Not only custody of your grandsons, but a permanent order of protection against their mom to stay at least 100 yards or the distance someone can see this dress, whichever is farther away.
They have to feel like your ridiculing their choices for it to be any fun. Some one who doesn’t shave their pits to “show the man”, guaranteed dramatic glittery flounce. Someone who is genetically over weight, well that will just end in tears which is no where near as awesome as a flounce.
Besides plus sized women are almost 10 times sexier than the “standard” for sexy. They just need to know how to show it off.
I used to be overweight. Four years ago I lost over 75 pounds and I’m now a healthy size 8 and have never been happier.
It really pisses me off when people pretend that obesity is something purely genetic that “can’t be helped.” You’re doing overweight people a huge disservice by pretending they aren’t capable of changing their bodies if they so choose (barring the small percentage of people with GENUINE health problems who truly have no choice.)
If she’s content being a size 22, then go girl, keep on rockin’. But don’t patronize her by pretending her own personal choices aren’t at least a little bit to blame. And yes, she is gorgeous.
So it bothers you when people treat being overweight as though it isn’t a sign of immorality and slobbishness? So you think it’s better to have an attitude that weight loss is easy and those who don’t lose 75 pounds are just inherently lazy? Because I would think you would find that especially insulting.
I should have clarified: I would think that someone who went to all the trouble to work against the genes telling her to pack it on for the baybeez would find it extremely insulting for others to treat what was undoubtedly hard work as though it was a matter of just not eating entire cakes every day omgz go on a diet fat-hate ad nauseam.
Am I wrong in thinking that is equally insulting to those who work for the bodies they have now as to those who are still curvy?
But apparently she doesn’t mind having her hard work dismissed, so the rest of us shouldn’t be offended by being considered fat and lazy. Okay then!
Look, I’ve been on both sides of this fence and what is offensive to me is that everyone feels they need to voice their opinion on it. Good for you, you lost weight! That is a huge accomplishment, and I’m sure you’re very proud. But, there are plenty of people out there who are comfortable with their size and don’t give a rats ass about whether or not other people think they’re capable of losing weight. I’m plenty comforrtable in my size 18 jeans, and I’m comfortable in my own skin. I better be, because it isn’t changing. My weight gain is a result of chronic steroids use for my rheumatoid arthritis. Id wager a bet that I eat a healthier diet than most thin people do, but because of my medications, I continue to gain weight. Anyway, just my opinion.
So… my computer is running really slowly today, and so when I first loaded this page, I had a good minute or so to only look at the top half of the dress. I thought to myself, “Okay, it’s kinda weird, but kinda neat. Why does it say Twilight in the title?” (as if I’d forgotten that there IS another definition for the word) Then I saw the bottom, and I was like, “Oh. So THAT’S it.”
I smell the heavy stench of a Simplicity “make your own prom dress” pattern. I also want to know what kind of event she would go to in that dress and the lady posing with her went in business casual. It’s like she got her dates confused.
I had a two-piece homecoming dress in the mid-’00s — but the skirt and the top were coordinates, not matches, so it didn’t get that weird “um … your dress is experiencing continental drift …” vibe.
Two-piece formals work a lot better if you’re like me and gain weight in front/have a naveldivot. The one-pieces tend to hit at the wrong spot and make you look like a cushion. I never wore a one-piece anything until I started living with a seamstress who could MAKE them work.
If you’re selling something that costs more than a few dollars, take time to color correct the freakin’ photo. The red side looks Barbie pink and it would take about 2 seconds to fix. Even if the whole thing weren’t a trainwreck, that alone would annoy me enough.
I never quite got that either. Eventually I figured it was a joke on the slang meaning of “turn” to mean changing someone’s sexuality, through force of hotness to turn them gay or through force of exorcisms and powerful emetics to turn them straight.
Admittedly, I’ve heard someone actually say “turned” in that sense exactly … once.
This does not prevent that from being one of my favorite Oglaf strips.
I can see how, if you were a Twilight fan, you’d find this amazing. If it didn’t light up it probably wouldn’t be so tacky. Why make fun of someone being ‘fugly’ when they’re clearly so happy, and have gone to so much effort?
seriously? Do you not see how badly it’s made? And it would be really tacky even if it didn’t light up. (I mean, my god, those feathers!) Which isn’t even mentioning that the bilateral split is awkward. Also, we’re not making fun of the person wearing the dress, she’s perfectly lovely. We’re making fun of the dress itself because it’s an abomination unto Nuggan and should be banished. Although I suppose we are making fun of her, if she was the one that made the dress, for making something so horrific.
I think the second photo is in the lobby or something, and the first is inside whatever sort of event this was taken at.
My guess is it’s not a convention because it looks like everyone else is dressed in “normal” clothing.
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of Stephenie Meyer
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of Etsy
To say that for destruction this dress
Is also great
And would suffice.
She made this for a convention. Unless guests of proms or weddings mostly wear street clothes, and the formal events now sell movie posters and lack decorations.
And dress went bye-bye, no more dress posted. Maybe we hurt her twihard.
Here’s her profile:
Hello, My name is Tammy and I’m a mother of a four year old son. I’m a huge twihard fan. and love the Steelers. I’ve been told by friends and family I should sell my art and crafts so here goes nothing. We’ll see if it works..lol
Uh, Tammy? My friends say all sorts of things to me, but I know when they’re being snarky. Maybe you don’t. And you really, REALLY shouldn’t give anyone a straight line such as “I should sell my crafts so here goes nothing,” ’cause it can be physically harmful if someone tries to resist a good retort.
Now see, I’d wear the shit out of that. With a Santa hat (or is that Satan… oh, dear, he won’t be too pleased if I don’t learn to spell. Oh, well, oh well…)
this is as close as I ever got to Toddlers & Tiaras, and in retrospect it was a lot a lot closer than you might think… there was music to edit and choreography…
But she won’t let me sell the costume – even though it’s a size child 6 and she’s 18 now.
SHE?! Augh. Piss on all my dreams, why don’t you. ;(
Just kidding. She’s gorgeous (interpret that in the “adorable” way and not the “brb, fbi” way please) and clearly enjoying the attention, and as well she should…that’s an amazing costume.
Hope I’m not saying any of this with the conviction of someone who frequently browses children’s Halloween costumes online, or anything…
The ability of buttcheeks to be spread is symbolic of Bella being pulled in two different directions, while the core of her being remains the asshole holding its ground in between.
Maybe it’s me, but WHY in the world would you buy jeans someone else has painted on? With unknown paint type, meaning you don’t even know if they paint will run away the minute you touch it funny, or get it slightly wet?
I do give props for using the book covers though. I’ll assume she actually read them instead of waiting for the whole movie thing, which is good
I wanna venture a guess this might be from a Twi-Con or a Romantic Times convention. RTs are known for their wacky theme parties, some hosted by publishers or well-known authors.
Aside from the obvious, what really irritates me is the half assed posting. The first picture is obviously from a cellphone, and not a quality one either. The images show two completely different colors, which is just lazy IMO. The shoes need some serious disinfecting, as evidenced by the yellow toe outlines on the soles. Really?!? That’s just disgusting. Just what everyone wants, Etsy athletes foot. Then there’s the grammar in the listing… If you’re going to try and sell shit anywhere on the Internet, at least take the time to have someone, anyone, proofread your listing. Oh, and family and friends tell a lot of “little white lies” when it comes to sparing someone’s feelings. This was obviously one of those.
I’m also a bit confused by her asking price of $100. Being a larger sized girl myself, the material alone for a dress that size would cost nearly that much, then add in the shoes, hoop and labor, and she’s probably paying someone to take it. The melted crayon pieces in her shop are ridiculously overpriced, so I’m shocked that she isn’t asking more for the dress.
Yeah, but given the horrible drape of the fabric I’m guessing it wasn’t the good quality silk or microfibre satin required by the design. I’m guessing no more than $5 a metre, which still leaves about $75 for everything else.
Good point. I guess I incorrectly assumed that one would use quality materials if they were going to bother in the first place. Although, I doubt there’s anything that could be done to make twilight portraits on a ball gown look classy.
Finally, the perfect outfit for that one spy mission where I need to haul this giant retina scanning machine around some kind of formal gathering!
Though fuck me, maybe for my formal I should have made my obese self a dress out of all the nice-but-too-small dresses I saw. Like a tie skirt, but sadder.
Having seen the panties printed with Edward’s face in the crotch (originally a TwiTard joke that TwiHards went nuts for, IIR), I’m personally just thankful she chose to place Edward and Jacob’s visages where she did since she decided she had to place them at all.
Small mercies: you learn to count them when dealing with Twilight fandom.
There’s an over-the-topness about this dress that’s almost cute. Almost.
But there’s also a big element of “If you wear this dress in public you are just begging people to make fun of you and you WILL look utterly stupid” going on here as well.
OTOH, someone this dedicated to their fandom is probably getting made fun of at school already. Might as well go all out if you’re not going to be one of the cool kids anyway.
Just a few more floofy underskirts and this would look right at home one of those girls from My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding who actually went to school, and thus were able to attend prom.
Wow, that dress has simultaneously burned my eyes out while giving me brain freeze. But seriously, what was that lady thinking? I’m a Twihard and I wouldn’t wear that dress in a million years (of course, I wouldn’t be able to since I estimate I’m about half her size).
April 17, 2012 at 4:27 pm
I think it would sell better if it advertised itself as the IcyHot (or Bengay) of dresses.
April 17, 2012 at 4:29 pm
it does burn the eyes quite a bit!
April 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm
See, I’m thinking “Heat Miser + Snow Miser”…. the perfect holiday outfit!
Plus, it has its own theme songs
April 17, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Please don’t call people out in the forums.
April 17, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Bu the next time you post something, your screen name won’t be a true reflection of who you are.
April 17, 2012 at 7:06 pm
Unless he/she never uses it again, leaving its purity intact!
April 18, 2012 at 1:43 am
Purity? Here?
April 17, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Only three minutes apart = too short to be criticizing someone for a repeat post, IMO.
April 17, 2012 at 4:28 pm
team not getting knocked up on prom night because no one would be brave enough to take you!
April 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm
This year she’s got 2 dates.
April 17, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 26, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Have you SEEN some of the 17 year olds this day and age? I get carded at 29… but I know some who, if I were to give money to and say “Buy me that bottle of horny goat weed/wine/whiskey/cigarettes, whatever” with nary a side eye or “Can we see ID?” Face it, kids don’t stay chubby cheeked and innocent looking long. I know a 16 year old who is very sweet, but looks like a 50 year old woman… too tight, too bleached, too everything.
April 17, 2012 at 7:37 pm
There is always someone brave enough.
Lid for every pot/bong for every pot/ however that goes.
April 20, 2012 at 10:49 am
Exactly! I am going to be the sole person to advocate for this dress and her sanity. I AM NOT a Twihard or whatever the spaghettios they are calling themselves these days but I appreciate her creativity, her balls to wear this out in public and the work that went into it. Now trying to sell it to others? That is pure regretsy/etsy magic. The world is full of bland outfits, this inspires discussion and boggles the mind.
April 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm
I always wonder what people’s classmates think of these things. Maybe they’ve seen it coming.
April 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Change those pics to the Heat & Snow Misers and you’ve got yourself a sale!
April 17, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Oh my gosh! I just saw your comment.
Scary that we’re on the same wave length.
(I’m just glad someone else saw Heat Miser and Snow Miser to be honest)
April 17, 2012 at 5:11 pm
First thing I thought!
April 17, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Me three.
April 17, 2012 at 9:54 pm
Based on Helen and Bronc’s Regretsy Xmas special all things Rankin-Bass are part of the Regretsy lexicon
April 19, 2012 at 12:03 am
Anything Rankin/Bass is God-like in my book. Then again, I have an unhealthy obsession with stop-motion animation. I suppose there are worse unhealthy obsessions, like Twilight themed prom dresses.
April 17, 2012 at 10:36 pm
Back in the very early 90s I worked in a video rental store. They had a rack to put out movies related to whichever holiday was closest. This was way before the WWW was a big thing.
One day around Christmas, this group of college kids came in and asked for the special with Heat/Snow Miser. Neither I nor the other clerk could remember which one it was, so we played through all the RB tapes we had on FF using the store’s TV until we found it.
The odd thing was, they weren’t the only ones. A week or so later, another group of college kids came in and asked the same thing. We only had one copy and I think that tape was out more or less through Christmas.
So no, you’re not the only one.
April 18, 2012 at 2:28 am
For all you other Heat/Snow Miser fans out there, someone uploaded an HD version of their songs to Youtube. Enjoy!
http://youtu.be/a7M9xqsvvh4
April 19, 2012 at 9:49 pm
This video is my childhood! <3
April 18, 2012 at 8:34 am
What the heck? Were they syncing it up to Dark Side of the Moon?
April 18, 2012 at 11:18 am
Miser fandom goes back a long way, apparently. The RB tapes were all new, so that may have been the first year they were available on video.
The main thing I remember was both groups were at least four people, all adults. The first group stood around the TV and cheered when we finally found the right tape. XD
April 18, 2012 at 11:35 am
Sorry, meant to hit the thumbs up but fat fingered it.
April 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm
No no…..plus girls know better than to wear tacky… Well sadly these two didn’t but honestly we already have the whole big girls have no fashion sense stereotype going for us….then you add this travesty and people just think plus girls have no sense too.
April 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm
As if the swimsuit selection wasn’t bad enough. A skirt AND a large Hawaiian patter? Yes please!! How flattering!
April 17, 2012 at 4:46 pm
Thankfully the plus selection’s getting better with the Internet being a thing.
But there are not enough Tim Gunn gifs in the world to express my feelings about this dress.
April 17, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Pretty sure it’s just the one woman.
April 17, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Amen! It’s all her own doing, I’m sure. And from the expressions on her face, she may know it’s over the top and done it for fun. That’s certainly not a prom behind her!
April 17, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Yeah I’m trying to figure out what type of event that is. Any guesses?
April 18, 2012 at 2:22 am
I’m gonna guess some kind of Twilight book signing/luncheon….if they have that sort of thing. I mainly assume this because I want to believe that no one would EVER wear that dress as a dress and not a costume/joke.
April 18, 2012 at 7:07 am
It…looks like a room at a science fiction convention. Most of those are held at hotels, so it isn’t really telling, but that’s the vibe I’m getting from the photo. A costume like that wouldn’t be entirely out of place at such an event…but most SF fans I know wouldn’t fly the Twi flag like that. If that really is a con, I weep for the future of my tribe.
April 17, 2012 at 7:38 pm
I was assuming the woman in black was Stephanie Meyer.
April 17, 2012 at 11:00 pm
It’s Stephenie, which I only know because it’s like a needle in my brain. Your first mistake was assuming that someone who can’t write had parents who would spell her name a way anyone else would get right.
April 18, 2012 at 4:57 am
Her parents did that to her name because her dad’s name is Stephen. This is apparently the ‘inspiration’ for the cracked name-smushing she did for the kid.
I love Fandom Wank, but the useless information I pick up there always overwrites my memory allocation for where I left my goddamned glasses and keys.
April 18, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Yeah, because it has nothing to do with the fact that Mormons are notorious for making up names for their kids. It was totally just her family. Pfft.
April 19, 2012 at 12:34 pm
As a Jennefer who is neither Mormon nor whose parents mashed their own name into this misspelled travesty I’ve had to deal with my whole life, I do have the tiniest bit of sympathy for Ms. Meyer. Not enough to forgive her for inflicting Twilight on us, but a little.
April 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm
My name is Stephenie. I’m named after my father and until this bint came on the scene I never had a reason to be ashamed of my name. Now it causes me nothing but grief. Think I’m gonna change it to something like “Not-THAT-Stephenie-the SANE-ish-one”
February 10, 2013 at 1:38 am
Imagine how it feels for those of us whose last name is Cullen.
April 18, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Actually, there are other people out there named “Stephenie”. The only example I can think of is that one of the set designers for the Harry Potter movies is a woman named Stephenie McMillan, who has also worked on Notting Hill and A Fish Called Wanda.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0573328/
April 17, 2012 at 7:55 pm
But it’s quite a nicely-made dress, apart from the Christmas tree lights and the oh-my-what-is-that-face-doing-there split personality thing. And the tinfoil, which I feel should have been somewhere different.
April 17, 2012 at 8:00 pm
…make that nicely-FITTED. I just noticed the complete lack of alignment between bodice and skirt.
Back to the Textiles class, lady!
April 17, 2012 at 8:04 pm
It looks to me like it’s separates, and the top and bottom aren’t attached to each other. That way the sweaty top could be cleaned without messing up the lights in the skirt.
April 17, 2012 at 10:15 pm
But…surely you’d have to remove the lights to wash it? And, presumably, iron it?
This dress sounds like WAY too much work!
April 18, 2012 at 10:20 am
Yes, you would, but skirts don’t tend to get sweaty (and if you’re getting a hoop skirt sweaty, I don’t wanna know how) and would need to be laundered less often. It also allows for more of a custom fit and hides flaws of the body more.
April 18, 2012 at 6:41 am
Wish I had a dime for every time I was shopping and muttered, “I hope the buyer who thought this would be a good idea in size 20 got fired.” I’m middle-aged and my greatest wish is to blend in. Hard to do whilst wearing faux cheetah, zebra, or giraffe. I would look like I got kicked out of the sub-Saharan all-u-can-eat safari buffet.
April 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm
I really wonder if they had zoo animals design the prints. Like by putting paint on their feet. It’s the only way I can rationalize the puke-like prints mixed with animal prints that I see in the plus sized sections.
April 18, 2012 at 8:12 pm
There are some plus-size women who want to stand out in a crowd.
I like to stand out, but for me, that does not involve LEDs, mismatched shoes, strangulating foundation garments, or the skins of animals who were half my size when alive.
Also, by “stand out,” I do not mean “like a target.”
April 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm
I’m so grateful for clueless people with no shame, without which we would not have this kind of hilarious shit.
I’d totally buy it, but that bitch already wore it out somewhere. It’s no good if everyone’s already SEEN IT. ffffffff
April 17, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Hey, cut them some slack. How else were they supposed to show up at the prom with a boy?
April 17, 2012 at 4:35 pm
You, dearest, owe me a new keyboard as I have spewed Sprite all over mine. I el-oh-el’d for real.
April 17, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Put it in the dishwasher. Follow interbutts instructions on how and then make sure you save a copy as you will need them many times on Regretsy.
April 17, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Okay, you got me, I didn’t actually spew Sprite. I did almost shoot it out my nose and it burned and made my eyes water.
I’ve been at Regretsy since almost the beginning, you’d think I’d learn not to drink while reading the comments. I figured I’d heard all the Twi-tard jokes by now though.
April 17, 2012 at 4:44 pm
That is so deliciously mean. I love it.
April 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 18, 2012 at 6:16 am
It took me a long moment, but I finally got what you just said. LMAO on some barn wood!
April 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I wonder if this will go with my uterus-ripping vampire fetus tiara or if that’s a bit over-the-top?
April 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm
IMPOSTER. A TRUE twitard would know that it was a uterus-ripping HALF vampire
…*strokes female neckbeard equivalent*
April 17, 2012 at 8:06 pm
PensEnvy might be a 100% vampire knocked up by Barnabas Collins! YOU DON’T KNOW HER!
April 19, 2012 at 2:07 am
I’m more of a treepire. I suck the blood from trees, bottle it, and pour it on delicious pancakes.
April 17, 2012 at 7:04 pm
Never mind that. If she made custom shoes, she must have made special lingerie to go with it. What the hell must that look like?
April 17, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Three words: magic Mormon underwear.
April 17, 2012 at 9:51 pm
April 19, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Oh now I can’t wash that image out of my brain. Thanks a bunch.
April 17, 2012 at 9:12 pm
If you hate Twilight as much as I do, read Stoney321′s fuckerific summary of the Twilight books series while she also points out neon flashing LDS dogma. It’s quite hysterical. The photos really make it even better as Stoney rips S. Meyer a new one in what Stoney calls “Sparkledamerung”: http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html
Like Alice, the creepy upbeat flibbertigibbet:
Mopey Bella and creepy eyed Edward:
And the psycho, homocidal redhead:
<img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/stoney321/pic/000rq108.jpg"
April 17, 2012 at 11:04 pm
Fixing the last link because it was really good
April 19, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Thanks for passing this link on…it is fricken heelarious and so worth wasting my time at work to read. The last pic of the first post really made me squawk out loud with the laughins.
April 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm
One wonders about the date taking her to the prom, and what s/he would wear. Or would she have two of them, one for each “team”?
April 17, 2012 at 5:11 pm
If she can find ONE date, she should thank Ceiling Cat, because especially in that outfit, I don’t see that shit happening.
April 17, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Our kitty, who art in ceiling…
April 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Jacob is labelled…. red?
thatsracist.gif
April 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 17, 2012 at 6:57 pm
It’s a standard thing to just put something like that in comments on reddit since they don’t actually show up and people son’t click on them. Just putting the name of the gif gets the idea across, since everyone knows what the gif is, anyway.
thatsthejoke.gif
April 17, 2012 at 8:09 pm
TheMoreYouKnow.gif
April 18, 2012 at 12:02 am
Thank you.
(The nerve of that newbie trying to tell ME how to Internet!)
April 18, 2012 at 9:48 am
slowpoke.jpg
April 17, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I want this, i mean really, I want it to wear to the Breaking Dawn Part 2 premiere! I’ll go stand at LA Live with this dress and wear it proudly! Think about how many news outlets I could get on!
April 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm
That is the first thing I thought of as well. Really, this is dress is awesome if you are a Twilight fan. No one would upstage you in this beauty.
April 17, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Your screen name leads me to believe Dr. Seuss has gone country & western?
April 17, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I also think it says something about me that I’m more bothered by the misaligned top and bottom halves than by the light-up pictures on the skirt.
April 17, 2012 at 4:41 pm
I just logged in to say something about that. The misaligned top and bottom seams are one of THE EASIEST things to avoid and she un-nailed it by a good inch at least. How anybody could make such an obvious mistake like that and still charge money for it is baffling. That is grade F seamstress work right there and I’m only embarrassed for this girl in regards to the shoddy half-assed attempt and NOT the theme, subject or artistic relevance of her work.
Am I taking this too seriously?
April 17, 2012 at 5:05 pm
That was the FIRST thing I noticed, and I don’t even sew.
April 17, 2012 at 5:07 pm
An additional picture seems to point that it’s a 2 piece dress. that, or she folded the bodice under in one photo.
April 17, 2012 at 5:24 pm
AHA!! Thank you SO much for pointing that out to me. Before I pointed fingers I should have done the legwork and followed the link.
Dear Seller,
Sorry for the mean things I said about your seams. Party on!
xoxo
Tricia Slingshot
April 17, 2012 at 6:00 pm
The misaligned seams are a way of distracting people who sew from the horrible boning, the wrinkled/stretched seams, the lack of proper facing from the hoop to the bottom of the hem and the dreadful lack of ironing. So much work on these .. items … and such a shortage of finesse. Makes me miss ‘Am I Period or Not?’, sniff.
April 17, 2012 at 6:44 pm
The bad hoop was driving me CRAZY! That is definitely the part that’s pissing me off. If you’re going to wear a hoop, make sure it fits right and doesn’t have unsightly drop-off afterwards!
April 17, 2012 at 7:08 pm
RIGHT! It’s such an easy fix too. One hidden flounce of netting and it’s all better.
April 17, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Oh. I think this explains why I can’t find an effin’ hoop in the pic…it’s INSIDE the dress, eh, seamstresses? Me = not a crafter. Can you tell?
April 18, 2012 at 4:53 am
Don’t be silly, @Getoffmylawn! Hiding flounces is not the way of things at Regretsy. The more visible the flounce, the better!
April 19, 2012 at 5:33 am
April 17, 2012 at 8:07 pm
But I think the stretched seams are just due to the use of cheap fabric, and the lack of ironing is because this photo was clearly taken some way through the evening (and again, the cheap fabric) – in which case, kudos to the wearer for it NOT being covered in other people’s drinks. Or her own.
The hoop display, on the other hand, I just put down to inexperience. But then, there’s no excuse for the way that shoulder decoration is about to gag and strangle her.
April 17, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Maybe it’s two pieces? That way, when she turns the top goes with her and the bottom stays stationery? Sorry. I don’t know why I’m trying to justify this.
April 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm
If you click through, you’ll see it is actually two pieces. Still not an excuse for not giving it a little tug in the right direction to line it up.
April 17, 2012 at 5:02 pm
I saw the photos, but I honestly didn’t make the connection–that the top was a top (especially since the seller doesn’t say it’s a 2-piece dress). I thought it was a drawstring bag.
*shrugs*
April 17, 2012 at 7:21 pm
or you could, *I don’t know* sew it the right way by attaching them together with a tab or crochet loop. Then it wouldn’t shift like that.
April 18, 2012 at 8:20 pm
“If you click through…”
It’s gone. Twilight fan AND bad sport. Pfffft.
April 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm
I pray the reason this girl is selling this is because she saw the pictures of her in it and realized how totally stupid she looked wearing that thing.
Please let me keep my one last shred of hope for humanity…
April 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm
It doesn’t look like prom behind her – probably a wedding. What if there were a whole group of bridesmaids with dresses like that? :::shudder::: The Twitard wedding is the new Hobo wedding.
April 17, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Yeah, the first words out of my mouth upon looking at the first photo was “Oh honey, aren’t you a bit old to be gluing the faces of tween heartthrobs onto formal wear?” I’m no good at guessing ages, but I’d guess her be in her mid to late twenties at the very least. I don’t know if she wore these at two different occasions or what, because I swear she looks older in the 2nd pic, but maybe it’s the angle, lighting, whatever. Anyway, whatever it is going on here, I doubt it’s a prom and somehow that makes it even more horrific.
April 17, 2012 at 8:06 pm
I know some 16-17 year-olds who are mistaken for mid-20s so she might be younger than you think.
April 17, 2012 at 9:28 pm
I don’t know, her profile said she was the mom of a four year old. Of course, I guess that doesn’t necessarily mean much for a variety of possible reasons.
Being mid twenties myself people usually guess me to be younger, which is rather funny because when I was 15-16 people always assumed me to be older. I have no idea why, but I figure that’s why I’m no good at guessing (but evidently I’m not alone LOL).
April 17, 2012 at 10:32 pm
Yeah I get that a lot too, but I’ve always been mistaken for younger. I still get carded for 18+ things, and I’ve been mistaken for a 12-15 year old when I was at least 19-20 at the time.
I’m also horrible at guessing other peoples ages.
April 18, 2012 at 12:46 am
I’m the same way, but now people either think I’m 18 or 34, not sure why, but now I really hate it when people think I’m older; hell, I’m dreading my 25th birthday in a few weeks, ugh. It was cool as a teenager, not so much as an adult…It’s like when people tell me how much I look like my mother; yeah, that’s exactly what I want to hear. -.-’
April 18, 2012 at 11:36 am
@ConsumingShadows: You’re going to turn a half century old!!!
/someone who’s waaaaay older and feeling snarky
April 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm
True story: When I was waiting tables, I carded two guys for their drinks. They started laughing. The first guy showed me his license and he was in his early 40s, pointed across the table, and said, “That’s my father.”
I’m really bad at guessing ages and I wasn’t that good at waiting tables either. But I did get a good tip from them…
April 17, 2012 at 5:50 pm
from the crapstands in the background of the listing’s second photo, i think it’s some sort of twicon. do those exist?
April 17, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Of COURSE they do!
April 17, 2012 at 11:06 pm
That actually scares me.
April 17, 2012 at 6:15 pm
It’s definitely a convention. And probably not a twilight-only convention, because all the other guests in the ballroom seem to be cowering against the walls.
April 17, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Yup. Only hotels and convention centers have carpeting that ugly.
April 17, 2012 at 7:22 pm
oh yeah – I can smell the coffee cart and plastic danish from here.
April 17, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Also why is the Werewolf fire? Is it a subtle nod that he played Lava Boy when he was a child?
April 17, 2012 at 5:01 pm
I’m guessing because, according to the smashing Movies in 10 Minutes review, Jacob runs a bad fever right before he fursplodes for the first time. A fever of ‘one hundred and werewolf’, as I recall.
Of course, it could also be simply because Jacob still has a body temperature at all.
April 17, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Also I think he is supposed to have a higher-than-normal body temperature and keeps Bella warm when she is freezing at some point or something like that.
April 17, 2012 at 10:27 pm
Cleolinda has taught me everything I need to know about Twilight, so I don’t have to read or watch it. Bless that woman.
April 17, 2012 at 7:21 pm
Wait what? That Lava boy movie came out when I was well into my teens, and you are saying the kid my younger sisters are OBSESSED over was someone who … OMG MY AGE HAS JUST BECOME REAL.
btw I’m sorry to all those who are even older than my youthful arse but the shock required comment.
(it also says alot about the movie that neither you nor I remembered that he was in fact Sharkboy, yes I looked it up)
April 18, 2012 at 10:05 am
Sigh. I was well into my thirties when that movie came out.
Speaking of people in their thirties, here’s something scary: Macaulay Culkin, age 31. Ever see “Home Alone”? Well, I DROVE myself to the theater to see it when I was a teen.
How is he 31, dammit?!?
April 18, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Same age as my son. STFU.
April 17, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Edward is a corpse. Any other living thing is fire by comparison.
April 17, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Finally found my wedding dress!
April 17, 2012 at 7:06 pm
Don’t forget the sparkly body glitter.
April 17, 2012 at 4:42 pm
“My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding” is running out of unique designs for their blushing brides.
April 17, 2012 at 10:55 pm
Ah, so I’m not the only one who immediately thought of the light up dress on that show…
April 18, 2012 at 8:02 am
my first thought as well!
April 17, 2012 at 4:52 pm
“I sat on Jacob’s (Edward’s) face until it just got too hot to take anymore. One of my cheeks is still so red!”
- real-life testimonial
April 17, 2012 at 4:54 pm
My former daughter-in-law just called me and asked if I could either a) take this dress in if she bought it (she’s a size 8 ) or make her one just like it.
.
.
.
.
Can I use this as grounds to get custody of my grandsons?
April 17, 2012 at 5:06 pm
God, yes!!! Not only custody of your grandsons, but a permanent order of protection against their mom to stay at least 100 yards or the distance someone can see this dress, whichever is farther away.
April 17, 2012 at 7:13 pm
I’ve already alerted Child Protection Services: Fan Boy division.
April 17, 2012 at 8:17 pm
Most definately and a strait jacket.
April 17, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 17, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Naaahhh, she’s not hairy/naked and droopy enough for that.
April 17, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Things the victim can’t avoid are no fun to mock.
They have to feel like your ridiculing their choices for it to be any fun. Some one who doesn’t shave their pits to “show the man”, guaranteed dramatic glittery flounce. Someone who is genetically over weight, well that will just end in tears which is no where near as awesome as a flounce.
Besides plus sized women are almost 10 times sexier than the “standard” for sexy. They just need to know how to show it off.
April 18, 2012 at 7:38 am
Yeah, she’s actually gorgeous. My partner’s a 22 and I could totally see her and Twitard-girl in a clinch. Rwowr.
… provided the dress came off first, and also provided there is not matching lingerie.
April 18, 2012 at 10:08 am
You mean like this?
April 18, 2012 at 10:10 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 18, 2012 at 12:24 pm
So it bothers you when people treat being overweight as though it isn’t a sign of immorality and slobbishness? So you think it’s better to have an attitude that weight loss is easy and those who don’t lose 75 pounds are just inherently lazy? Because I would think you would find that especially insulting.
April 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm
No, because she lost the weight. So of course it’s not insulting to her, because she doesn’t consider herself a big girl anymore.
April 19, 2012 at 6:04 am
I should have clarified: I would think that someone who went to all the trouble to work against the genes telling her to pack it on for the baybeez would find it extremely insulting for others to treat what was undoubtedly hard work as though it was a matter of just not eating entire cakes every day omgz go on a diet fat-hate ad nauseam.
Am I wrong in thinking that is equally insulting to those who work for the bodies they have now as to those who are still curvy?
But apparently she doesn’t mind having her hard work dismissed, so the rest of us shouldn’t be offended by being considered fat and lazy. Okay then!
April 18, 2012 at 8:40 pm
No one is happier insulting fat women than a former fat women.
Also, while I’m at it: nothing more obnoxious than a former smoker or recovering alcoholic.
I quit smoking two years ago, after perfecting my technique for 35 years. All y’all who still smoke STINK.
.
.
.
See how obnoxious that is?
April 20, 2012 at 11:03 pm
Look, I’ve been on both sides of this fence and what is offensive to me is that everyone feels they need to voice their opinion on it. Good for you, you lost weight! That is a huge accomplishment, and I’m sure you’re very proud. But, there are plenty of people out there who are comfortable with their size and don’t give a rats ass about whether or not other people think they’re capable of losing weight. I’m plenty comforrtable in my size 18 jeans, and I’m comfortable in my own skin. I better be, because it isn’t changing. My weight gain is a result of chronic steroids use for my rheumatoid arthritis. Id wager a bet that I eat a healthier diet than most thin people do, but because of my medications, I continue to gain weight. Anyway, just my opinion.
April 17, 2012 at 4:59 pm
UH-OH! Will Hoop Skirts become the new octopus/barn wood? (shudders)
April 17, 2012 at 5:47 pm
I’m more worries about the one-glove trend.
April 17, 2012 at 5:47 pm
worried*
April 17, 2012 at 6:36 pm
No worries!
April 18, 2012 at 8:04 am
i’d bet anything she used a hula hoop.
April 17, 2012 at 5:01 pm
So… my computer is running really slowly today, and so when I first loaded this page, I had a good minute or so to only look at the top half of the dress. I thought to myself, “Okay, it’s kinda weird, but kinda neat. Why does it say Twilight in the title?” (as if I’d forgotten that there IS another definition for the word) Then I saw the bottom, and I was like, “Oh. So THAT’S it.”
April 17, 2012 at 5:06 pm
Oh, guuuurl. I was with you until I saw it was a two piece. Who on earth would wear a 2 piece formal?
April 17, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Any trendy girls from the mid- to late 90s
April 17, 2012 at 6:59 pm
I smell the heavy stench of a Simplicity “make your own prom dress” pattern. I also want to know what kind of event she would go to in that dress and the lady posing with her went in business casual. It’s like she got her dates confused.
April 18, 2012 at 7:41 am
I had a two-piece homecoming dress in the mid-’00s — but the skirt and the top were coordinates, not matches, so it didn’t get that weird “um … your dress is experiencing continental drift …” vibe.
Two-piece formals work a lot better if you’re like me and gain weight in front/have a naveldivot. The one-pieces tend to hit at the wrong spot and make you look like a cushion. I never wore a one-piece anything until I started living with a seamstress who could MAKE them work.
/chubby practicality
April 17, 2012 at 5:17 pm
If you’re selling something that costs more than a few dollars, take time to color correct the freakin’ photo. The red side looks Barbie pink and it would take about 2 seconds to fix. Even if the whole thing weren’t a trainwreck, that alone would annoy me enough.
April 17, 2012 at 7:05 pm
seriously. I thought there was more than one dress at first. Which would be horrifying.
April 17, 2012 at 8:11 pm
With flash and without flash, I think. Hey, she’s a “sewer”, not a Photoshop player.
April 17, 2012 at 8:11 pm
And I meant sewer as in seamstress!
April 17, 2012 at 8:19 pm
I actually liked the fugly-ness of this until I realized it wasn’t pink!
April 17, 2012 at 5:21 pm
I want one with the Burger King on one side and Ronald McDonald on the other. As zombies.
April 17, 2012 at 5:33 pm
…kissing zombies? (WARNING: OGLAF)
April 17, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Like in Tina’s dreams from Bob’s Burgers.
April 17, 2012 at 8:20 pm
Shout out to Bob’s Burgers!!! Best show ever besides The Walking Dead…and Spongebob Squarepants…and oh, never mind.
April 17, 2012 at 7:07 pm
rofl. I love that fuckin comic. I mean, what? Why? Why is that what she would do with turned zombies?
April 18, 2012 at 7:44 am
I never quite got that either. Eventually I figured it was a joke on the slang meaning of “turn” to mean changing someone’s sexuality, through force of hotness to turn them gay or through force of exorcisms and powerful emetics to turn them straight.
Admittedly, I’ve heard someone actually say “turned” in that sense exactly … once.
This does not prevent that from being one of my favorite Oglaf strips.
April 17, 2012 at 7:24 pm
get that brianmnemonic guy to do the stencils and I would build that dress.
April 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Two-Face sure knows how to spoil his daughter.
April 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm
And is it just me, or does the girl on the right look an awful lot like Catherine Tate? Doctor Who > Twilight.
April 17, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Impossible. Donna Noble would not smile passively for a picture with that dress. Unless that is Turn Left Donna, of course.
April 17, 2012 at 8:10 pm
I need more thumbs.
April 17, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 17, 2012 at 5:43 pm
Are you for real?
April 17, 2012 at 7:12 pm
seriously? Do you not see how badly it’s made? And it would be really tacky even if it didn’t light up. (I mean, my god, those feathers!) Which isn’t even mentioning that the bilateral split is awkward. Also, we’re not making fun of the person wearing the dress, she’s perfectly lovely. We’re making fun of the dress itself because it’s an abomination unto Nuggan and should be banished. Although I suppose we are making fun of her, if she was the one that made the dress, for making something so horrific.
April 17, 2012 at 7:39 pm
“if you were a Twilight fan, you’d find this amazing.”
In all fairness, this dress is about as amazing as Stephenie Meyer’s writing is readable.
So I’ll give you that.
April 17, 2012 at 8:22 pm
Any one who was a teen in the 80′s probably wore something equally fugly or worse and thought they were the shit. Just saying.
April 17, 2012 at 9:59 pm
Even as cosplay this sucks.
April 18, 2012 at 6:51 am
Superman not here.
April 17, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 17, 2012 at 5:49 pm
I’m not surprised you link to reddit.
Here come the sandwich jokes!
April 17, 2012 at 5:37 pm
One of a kind? Dear God I hope so. This goes back to one off the rules by which I live: JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN SEW, DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD!
April 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm
I’ve been on this site too long. My first thought was, “only $100?”
April 17, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Well, it *is* “pre-worn”…
April 17, 2012 at 7:10 pm
$100 USD, as in USeD.
April 17, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Those two photos were taken on two different carpets; did she wear it to two different events?! *faints from transferred embarassment*
April 17, 2012 at 8:14 pm
I think the second photo is in the lobby or something, and the first is inside whatever sort of event this was taken at.
My guess is it’s not a convention because it looks like everyone else is dressed in “normal” clothing.
April 17, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of Stephenie Meyer
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of Etsy
To say that for destruction this dress
Is also great
And would suffice.
–Robert Frost (slightly adulterated)
April 18, 2012 at 10:09 pm
Ew, you didn’t actually want to taste her, right?
Right?
April 17, 2012 at 5:57 pm
She made this for a convention. Unless guests of proms or weddings mostly wear street clothes, and the formal events now sell movie posters and lack decorations.
Also, she totally loves melting crayons:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/95201917/deer-melted-crayon-painting
Reminds me of this cakewreck:
http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2008/11/7/fire.html#comment14441845
April 17, 2012 at 6:46 pm
And dress went bye-bye, no more dress posted. Maybe we hurt her twihard.
Here’s her profile:
Hello, My name is Tammy and I’m a mother of a four year old son. I’m a huge twihard fan. and love the Steelers. I’ve been told by friends and family I should sell my art and crafts so here goes nothing. We’ll see if it works..lol
Uh, Tammy? My friends say all sorts of things to me, but I know when they’re being snarky. Maybe you don’t. And you really, REALLY shouldn’t give anyone a straight line such as “I should sell my crafts so here goes nothing,” ’cause it can be physically harmful if someone tries to resist a good retort.
April 17, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Now I’m embarrassed on behalf of the Steelers.
April 17, 2012 at 7:33 pm
So is it OK to make fun of her as a person for being TOO DAMN OLD to be all Twi-happy?
Teen fiction, folks…TEEN!
I’d like to give her points for having her profile pic with Stan Lee, but playing for BOTH Twi-teams…oh, honey, no…
April 18, 2012 at 9:48 am
They were probably thinking; “Hey if we can get her to sell that crap, we won’t be getting it at every gift-giving opportunity!”
April 18, 2012 at 9:08 pm
http://www.twifans.com/profiles/blog/list?user=35yjclbl3jwkt
Better pics of the “Fire and Ice” dress. And she really, really likes Twilight.
*snort* Not like it’s World of Warcraft, or something important like that… http://games.yahoo.com/photos/the-costumes-of-blizzcon-2011-slideshow/costumes-of-blizzcon-2011-photo-1319315034.html
April 17, 2012 at 5:59 pm
April 18, 2012 at 7:47 am
YOU FIXED IT.
April 18, 2012 at 3:59 pm
It’s a bun…a bun…
BUNDT!
April 26, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Now see, I’d wear the shit out of that. With a Santa hat (or is that Satan… oh, dear, he won’t be too pleased if I don’t learn to spell. Oh, well, oh well…)
April 17, 2012 at 6:19 pm
If this were a con masquerade costume, I could almost… well… No. Not even then.
(and I dressed my kid up as Sailor Mini Moon for a convention masquerade, once)
April 17, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Sweet!
Did he enjoy cosplay?
April 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Sailor chibi?
April 17, 2012 at 7:20 pm
I was just looking at the photos again, and the first one does look awfully like the pro lounge at the San Diego ComiCon…
April 17, 2012 at 7:21 pm
AWWWWWWWW! That must have been adorable. I demand pictures.
April 17, 2012 at 7:30 pm
OK, since you asked so nice…
(that costume has scraps from one of my old wedding dresses in it)
April 17, 2012 at 7:34 pm
this is as close as I ever got to Toddlers & Tiaras, and in retrospect it was a lot a lot closer than you might think… there was music to edit and choreography…
But she won’t let me sell the costume – even though it’s a size child 6 and she’s 18 now.
April 18, 2012 at 10:59 am
SHE?! Augh. Piss on all my dreams, why don’t you. ;(
Just kidding. She’s gorgeous (interpret that in the “adorable” way and not the “brb, fbi” way please) and clearly enjoying the attention, and as well she should…that’s an amazing costume.
Hope I’m not saying any of this with the conviction of someone who frequently browses children’s Halloween costumes online, or anything…
April 18, 2012 at 11:01 am
Also, the fact that someone that young can appreciate Sailor Moon, but is now 18, just reminded me of how old I am. D:
I hope you didn’t have a child solely for the purpose of some extremely elaborate trolling. But if so, well played, madam.
April 17, 2012 at 11:59 pm
I did not like Chibi-usa/Chibi Moon in the anime very much, but oh my god that is ADORABLE.
April 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm
Tooooo cute!
April 18, 2012 at 10:02 am
You are the coolest mom ever, just putting that out there.
April 17, 2012 at 6:28 pm
I kind of regret putting my glasses on to focus on this… And it doesn’t have anything to do with the subject Twilight or the model… =X
April 17, 2012 at 6:30 pm
I’m not gonna lie, I appreciated the touch of having the shoes decorated separately.
April 17, 2012 at 8:25 pm
I would totally wear the shoes! Too bad the listing is gone
April 23, 2012 at 8:44 pm
The shoes look better than the entirety of the dress. Well, except for the toe stains.
April 17, 2012 at 6:34 pm
For the briefest moment, I didn’t think those were pictures…
I thought the hoop skirt simply had decorated holes, and those black-and-white images were tattooed thighs being exhibited.
(I would be disappointed, were I not already certain someone out there has thigh tattoos just like this.)
April 17, 2012 at 6:48 pm
That prom dress would look great on the floor. But I say that about all prom dresses.
April 17, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Back in design school, we always checked to see if our samples passed the “crumple” test. Needless to say, everything I made ALWAYS passed!
April 17, 2012 at 7:00 pm
I assume Bella is on the ass portion of the gown.
April 17, 2012 at 7:04 pm
Isn’t she always?
April 23, 2012 at 8:47 pm
The ability of buttcheeks to be spread is symbolic of Bella being pulled in two different directions, while the core of her being remains the asshole holding its ground in between.
April 17, 2012 at 7:14 pm
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April 17, 2012 at 7:26 pm
Welp, since the original listing is down, I checked the link on her shop. Everything rather unworthy of mention…Until these:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/54372964/twilight-saga-hand-painted-jeans
Maybe it’s me, but WHY in the world would you buy jeans someone else has painted on? With unknown paint type, meaning you don’t even know if they paint will run away the minute you touch it funny, or get it slightly wet?
I do give props for using the book covers though. I’ll assume she actually read them instead of waiting for the whole movie thing, which is good
April 17, 2012 at 7:30 pm
I wanna venture a guess this might be from a Twi-Con or a Romantic Times convention. RTs are known for their wacky theme parties, some hosted by publishers or well-known authors.
April 17, 2012 at 9:02 pm
Hot damn, it’s in my size! Someone buy this for me. I need something to wear to take my son for his first day of pre-school.
April 17, 2012 at 10:07 pm
I really, really want to go drinking with you.
After I drop my future progeny off wearing the Twilight jeans and alligator head bra, of course.
April 17, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Aside from the obvious, what really irritates me is the half assed posting. The first picture is obviously from a cellphone, and not a quality one either. The images show two completely different colors, which is just lazy IMO. The shoes need some serious disinfecting, as evidenced by the yellow toe outlines on the soles. Really?!? That’s just disgusting. Just what everyone wants, Etsy athletes foot. Then there’s the grammar in the listing… If you’re going to try and sell shit anywhere on the Internet, at least take the time to have someone, anyone, proofread your listing. Oh, and family and friends tell a lot of “little white lies” when it comes to sparing someone’s feelings. This was obviously one of those.
April 17, 2012 at 10:02 pm
I’m also a bit confused by her asking price of $100. Being a larger sized girl myself, the material alone for a dress that size would cost nearly that much, then add in the shoes, hoop and labor, and she’s probably paying someone to take it. The melted crayon pieces in her shop are ridiculously overpriced, so I’m shocked that she isn’t asking more for the dress.
April 17, 2012 at 10:05 pm
Maybe this was a labor of love.
April 17, 2012 at 10:16 pm
The next owner will probably be able to smell the “labor” when they take those shoes out of the box!
April 17, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Yeah, but given the horrible drape of the fabric I’m guessing it wasn’t the good quality silk or microfibre satin required by the design. I’m guessing no more than $5 a metre, which still leaves about $75 for everything else.
April 17, 2012 at 10:58 pm
Good point. I guess I incorrectly assumed that one would use quality materials if they were going to bother in the first place. Although, I doubt there’s anything that could be done to make twilight portraits on a ball gown look classy.
April 18, 2012 at 12:45 am
Finally, the perfect outfit for that one spy mission where I need to haul this giant retina scanning machine around some kind of formal gathering!
Though fuck me, maybe for my formal I should have made my obese self a dress out of all the nice-but-too-small dresses I saw. Like a tie skirt, but sadder.
April 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Or you could think of it as a Megazord dress, which would make it awesome
April 18, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Barely.
April 18, 2012 at 1:39 am
Please tell me that her date was in werewolf makeup on one half and pale and glittery on the other, cause really that would just make my day.
April 18, 2012 at 3:19 am
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April 18, 2012 at 3:37 am
Am I a terrible person for wanting to buy a jar of “Edward Cullen’s Ashes”, seen here:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/93632786/twilight-saga-twilight-edward-cullens
…and sprinkle them on her?
The glitter ashes just seem like the missing pizazz that this dress so clearly needs.
April 18, 2012 at 5:04 am
Having seen the panties printed with Edward’s face in the crotch (originally a TwiTard joke that TwiHards went nuts for, IIR), I’m personally just thankful she chose to place Edward and Jacob’s visages where she did since she decided she had to place them at all.
Small mercies: you learn to count them when dealing with Twilight fandom.
April 18, 2012 at 6:13 am
There’s an over-the-topness about this dress that’s almost cute. Almost.
But there’s also a big element of “If you wear this dress in public you are just begging people to make fun of you and you WILL look utterly stupid” going on here as well.
April 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm
OTOH, someone this dedicated to their fandom is probably getting made fun of at school already. Might as well go all out if you’re not going to be one of the cool kids anyway.
April 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Just a few more floofy underskirts and this would look right at home one of those girls from My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding who actually went to school, and thus were able to attend prom.
April 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm
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April 18, 2012 at 8:58 pm
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April 23, 2012 at 8:55 pm
I know just the date for her:
April 28, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Can anyone give me the real link. I need this for my show down at the local gay bar.
July 5, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Good lord, you would have thought her eighteen cats would have shredded that abomination by now.