But there are no lights on the dress and you can’t see her lady bits, so I’m pretty sure it wasn’t on “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. Although this could be a “starter dress” for the toddlers on that show. They teach them the Art of Sluttery quite young.
Oh, I think for such a job, we’ll need something stork-sized. But not the kind that delivers babies. No, for theft, we’ll need something a bit more… sinister… http://www.dimijianimages.com/More-page2/marabou.htm
Birds are such stupid, useless assholes. That’s why we shellac their dead remains and sculpt them into hairpieces and cake toppers and stuff. Because fuck birds.
I was just thinking that if the colors weren’t quite so bright, it’s the exact sort of fuckery I would have worn for giggles when I was thinner. However, I wouldn’t spend nearly 200 bucks on it.
I am a cheapsake, so there is no way I’d pay that kind of money for a dress, even if I liked it. I just don’t have that sort of money.
But seriously, her pricing is certainly not out of line. Especially for all the crochet stuff and handiwork. You can buy mass produced crap for more than that.
It’s no wonder crafters complain that they never make much money when all they do is unfairly criticise each other’s pricing until they need to price themselves below cost just to compete.
It’s a vicous cycle, and it makes me sad.
I don’t believe gypsies or thieving birds had any part in this festival of all the colors of the wind.
Looks to me like it was made by Lisa Frank during an acid trip.
I had a crochet afghan I started that had all these colors in it. I thought it would be a good way to use up all the bits of leftover yarn I had. Like a crochet crazy-quilt, made by a cheapskate.
After deciding that it was so horrifyingly ugly even Goodwill wouldn’t take it, I let the dogs unravel it. It really was for the best.
I wondered where my flock of yarn burglar sparrows went. I had no idea they would be in flying through a snowy range visiting gypsies who still, in 2012, caravan in oxen-powered, fancifully decorated wagons over through long winter months while hand-crafting potholders into wearable smocks. I don’t get out much.
And I’ve been wondering why, when I’m crocheting or knitting along, the brightly colored yarn suddenly gives out and when I look at the ends, I see beak marks.
Some of the sold items in that shop are ok (in a sloppy I-don’t-know-how-to-sew-for-real sort of way) but what’s for sale right now is a collection of the ugliest, lumpiest, most haphazard garbage, UGH!
Complicated cutesy-wootsy descriptions for ridiculous items always remind of the complicated stories people tell when they other people money and can’t pay:
“No really dude – my cousin’s nephew needed to get to Scranton Tuesday and I needed to help him out and that meant that I had to wire money to the phone company so I can’t pay now but it’ll be cool next Tuesday.”
Rubypearl was born in a house of ill repute. After acing the first grade, she ran away to join the circus. At night, while the elephants slept, she learned how to spin and sew from the spiders. She made whimsical creations for the trapeze artists, who needed their outfits to be both beautiful and comfortable. Magpies brought her shiny objects to embellish her dresses with, if they sometimes accidentally brought an eyeball they’d plucked from some unfortunate, she forgave them and quietly popped it into her mouth. The circus, for all it glorious adventure, was often low on dietary protein.
Soon everyone in the circus was wearing Rubypearl’s designs. The bearded lady told her friends she’d never felt so feminine. Lobster Boy proudly showed off his new embroidered claw covers, and the clowns matched their rainbow makeup to their beaded reworked jumpsuits. The monkeys were jealous of the midgets tutus and tried to steal them while everyone slept………
I’d totally go with the ‘tacky adorable’ look, which isn’t so bad really. But the retardedly Disney-esque fable in the description sets my teeth on edge.
I would love to reach through my screen and slap the bullshit out of the seller.
Thank you! I thought I was going nuts or needed a second opinon on my tastes, but yeah. It’s kind of cute. And if the description had said oh, “hand made, we used organic cotton and recycled materials, etc etc”, maybe lowered the price, it might have been cool.
Pretending that Disney animals sung to poor gypsy girl so she could have spring again, even if she’s just trying really hard to be whimsicle for the Etsy cupcakeolords, is just silly.
I’d totally wear this dress. This would have been perfect to wear to the opening of that yarn bombing art show I went to this past Saturday. Also, the artist’s description is awesome. I am being totally serious.
Unfortunately, I’m also a cheap ass and wouldn’t pay $188, though I grant that $188 worth of labor probably went into making it. But, I’m the sort of cheap ass that thinks $5 for a pair of jeans at Goodwill is pricy.
Evidently everything I learned from Matthew Biro was bullshit because I know nothing about Dada or Surrealism. All hail the etsy machine of randomly applying nonsensical words and appropriating stories based on stereotypes.
As an avid crocheter, I can never bring myself to laugh at the monstrous examples of crochet atrocities you feature. This seller deserves a cease and desist but will not get it. I console myself knowing there is a special level of Hell for those such as her.
I’m surprised she only has 2 negative feedbacks, one positive feedback said the dress she bought was sewed together with yarn and arrived with straight pins still in it.
Here’s the review jewel alchemy mentioned, for anyone who’s curious:
I HAD NO IDEA SOMEONE WOULD SEW A LADIES DRESS WITH YARN! HOW UNIQUE! ALSO, HOW DIFFERENT TO MISS MATCH THE TONES! IT MUST HAVE TAKEN YOU HOURS UPON HOURS TO MASTER THIS TRUELY ONE OF A KIND!! THE BEST TOUCH I’D SAY, IS LEAVING THE STRAIGHTS PINS IN, NOTHING BEATS A DRESS SEWN TOGETHER WITH ORANGE YARN AND THEN GETTING PRICKED WITH STRAIGHT PINS! WAY TO GO- AGAIN BLESSINGS TO YOU
Looks like Gramma’s couch became sentient and tried to eat poor little gypsy princess. I do see where Law & Order totally would inspire this work, though
I see at least two cultural appropriations in this listing – did I miss any?
It took my third look to realize she wasn’t wearing a blouse and holding cheerleader pompoms over her “nether regions” for “modesty” and that it was part of the “dress”.
I like the color combo though. It would make a nice quilt.
Once upon a time, I was an avid knitter. After making way too many hats and scarves, I decided to make a tank top. It didn’t take long, and I was delighted with the results. I wore it to an outing in DC.
And that is where I learned that knit tops love to sag, and that my top was now aspiring to be a belt. I actually had to buy a shirt from a street vendor to keep from getting arrested. I told a friend, and she replied that this was why knitters mostly did sweaters. Dainty shoulders (like the ones above) will stretch.
That model is going to be bearing all if the humidity goes up.
Ah, good old DC droop. On those days when it feels like you could chew the air (and today is damn close), then it’s more than just the knitted tops that sag…
Sparrow 2- I thought maybe we’d head over to the nearby villages, steal some brightly colored yarn and then take it over to the chieftan’s daughter.
Sparrow 1- *whining* But we did that last night! And the night before that!
Sparrow 2- I know, I know. But for some reason the bitch thinks she’s Donatella Versace, and we need to keep her happy if we want to hang out in her caravan and not freeze our bills off.
The Romani people (i.e. “gypsies”) adhere to ancient Hindu laws on purity, which are similar to those of orthodox Jews. This makes it highly unlikely a Roma woman would ever wear a ridiculous tutu exposing her legs in this manner, as they consider the lower half of the body to be unclean. Also like Jews, they were slaughtered in death camps during the Holocaust, and have been persecuted throughout history (as recently as 1989 their women and young girls were being forcibly sterilized by the government of Czechoslovokia). Falsehoods about theft, evil curses, and animal witchcraft have always plagued them in Europe because their culture stems from a different land (India).
So… I guess it’s good to see that that prejudicial and outlandishly unrealistic bullshit designed to incite lynch mobs (e.g., they’re devil worshippers that cast spells to speak to animals and cause them to steal things from people) has finally stopped.
Regarding the purity thing, it varies by region. The American gypsies I know (their self-description, not mine; technically they’re Sinti) are pretty much indistinguishable from the average American.
Except maybe when celebrating Christmas on January 7th by sprinkling grain on your head and doing shots of brandy.
You are right. A real gypsy would never wear something like that, it would catch on the barb wire fences when we are trying to escape lynch mobs and all the other haters. When I’m looking into my crystal ball during the few minutes I get alone, to myself, when all of the stolen babies are at school, I want to be comfortable. That doesn’t look comfortable. Whatever happened to those UGG boots? I like to wear those, when fleeing.
I love Sunny’s clothes and think she’s quite brilliant. As for the descriptions on her Etsy site– if you are missing the morbid tones and only catching the syrupy parts– you’re not getting it.
Erykah Badu has a wardrobe stockpile of Rubypearl dresses and the Bloggess used Rubypearl for the Traveling Red Dress project. Also– Sunny is a BIG Regretsy fan…
I saw the article on the traveling red dress and rather adored the project and the basic idea. I’m totally missing the morbid tones and perhaps a more practical side would really just want to know how the thing was made and made of, but I can see what you’re getting at. =)
Sunny picks different materials that appeal to her. In the winter she will rework thrift shop cashmere sweaters, cutting them apart and making rosettes out of them and then add them to other garments. For these dresses, she was getting ready for Austin City Limits and scored a ton of old crocheted doilies. They’re overdyed and pieced together. We actually borrowed them for a shoot and show with a fantastic salon and every woman and girl who walked in during the drop off got excited about them. Every group of dresses is different and some of them get to Etsy. My son actually put a few stitches into a side seam on this dress to try his hand at sewing. There are often dresses made from cool and kitschy vintage scarves. The morbid part– read her full descriptions– lots of playfulness and dark humor.
I read the full description for this dress. I am passionately fond of her clothing designs (though I wish I could see the damn dress FLAT, not bunched in the model’s hands) and I normally love her quirky descriptions — but in this one she’s failed to get the morbid tone across. So it comes off as unbearably fucking twee, and therefore, a nauseating appropriation of a culture that, like pretty much every other traditional culture, really doesn’t need her shit. Which is why this listing belongs on Regretsy.
Sorry, but I’ve seen about twelve too many “gypsy” Halloween costumes lately.
If she’s a big Regretsy fan then maybe all the horseshit in her descriptions is on purpose and she’s playing her own version of “Etsy or Regretsy” with us.
IN MY OPINION Erykah Badu is an overrated snob and her music and her style were over ten years ago. Call Tyrone to come get those ugly-ass clothes. Furthermore, your friend’s listing does not include corresponding measures for the sizes which is infuriating for buyers and adds extra work for her; answering convos that could be avoided by simply stating bust, waist and hip next to the sizes this monstrosity is offered in. Lastly, these silly and childish descriptions are insulting to the average consumer that has $188 to drop on a handmade garment. I want to know the garments measures and details about fit, not some bullshit the self-congratulatory seller decided on instead.
Still some of the ugliest, most sloppily stitched, Garbage Lady from Labryrinth/Grouchland Queen of Trash nonsense stuck together bullshit barf bag crap I’ve ever seen. Take a sewing class for Maude’s sake! Ugh. It’s like the heavily rummaged doily bin at the thrift store only a little less organized. “Sewing” of this caliber just makes me angry.
I’m kinda digging it. And from reading a few of her other sparkly descriptions, I’m not sure if she isn’t counter-trolling Etsy, with their support of extra magical bullshit descriptions.
If this dress is really made from stolen items, the police need to seize it immediately and arrest the seller.
And that also means that Etsy is guilty of fencing stolen items, making them accessories after the fact for this crime.
Further, those trained birds likely damaged items belonging to the villagers when thieving the yarn, so that makes this seller liable for that vandalism as well. This could well turn into a felony situation.
Finally, those gypsies in the mountain pass were clearly unprepared for bad weather and got stuck, requiring a rescue by local authorities, even though the pass was clearly closed due to avalanche danger. This places a serious burden on the taxpayers who have to foot the bill for their emergency room bills incurred due to frostbite and severe hypothermia. Since these gypsies are not citizens and are traveling around illegally in outright defiance of local rules, ordinances, and authority, they should be deported immediately.
Why do people think it is okay to objectify and stereotype the Roma? If people insist on sounding uneducated and racist by using “gypsy” instead of “Roma”, then at least they should ask themselves if the word Jew/black/Chinese is a good substitute. If it sounds racist with “Jew” instead of gypsy, well, guess what? It’s racist.
just wanted to pipe in a little here, and say that often the term “gypsy” these days is used in literature/film to describe a “fantasy race” (I’m having trouble wording my thoughts here) kind of like pirates – “real” pirates still exist today, but when you hear the term pirates, people are probably referencing the stylized version, the “notion” of fantasy pirates. Here I imagine she is not deliberately making a reference to the Roma people. I didn’t want to sound like a preaching bumhead, hope what I said makes some sense…
So … what’s wrong with “Wanderer,” “Traveler,” or any of the other non-racist terms that actually good non-racist fantasy authors (see MeiLin Miranda) are using these days?
I’m not saying that you’re wrong, mayple, just that the seller is.
Generally cute. If she would only line each sleeve piece and the bodice pieces with custom colored “nude” woven fabrics, they wouldn’t look so stretched out. :[
I guess you can just drop some acid & then write any crazy bullshit you want into your item description? And, if you’ve time left, you can concoct some bullshit you’ve seen when someone’s waving their hands in front of your face with “The Doors” playing in the background! I’m beginning to liken alot of seller’s to used car dealers, sad….
String is a gateway item!! Don’t leave out pretty bits of colored string for the speugs. If they learn to steal string, who knows what they will steal next. Think of the ickle speugs.
darn you, darn you to heck
April 16, 2012 at 4:50 pm
“It was a robber’s daughter, and her name was Alice Brown.
Her father was the terror of a small Italian town;” does the story of the dress seem Gilbert-ish to anyone else? No? Never mind then.
I hate to say it, but I think the seller is telling a big fat lie about the origins of the dress. What she really did was to sneak into my Granny’s house and pinch about .04% of her collection of hand-made, by herself no less, doyleys. Then she stuck them on top of one of the 1950s petticoats the old girl still has stashed away in a cupboard. Now she’s after $188 for it.
Mind you she’s doing me a favour by removing some of this crap. When Granny finally goes, guess who has to deal with all the doyleys and other shit filling her house to the rafters?
I think the dress is cute– and certainly no stupider (sic) than things you see on the runway… If I weren’t an “Old Broad” I’d probably wear it (if someone bought it for me)
Gosh, that particular dress is a bit much. But some of her other things are really interesting and unusual. Considering the work that goes into some of those, I think her prices aren’t mad at all. I’m kind of glad she made one silly enough to get onto Regretsy!
Being the unsophisticate that I am, I had to look up the term Dada. Finding this comment, “its works were characterized by a deliberate irrationality and the rejection of the prevailing standards of art,” I would say that the seller achieved her goal.
Even the gypsies on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding dress better than that, and they dress pretty bad. And yes, I’m totally watching that tonight if it’s not a rerun. Oh who am I kidding, I’d watch the rerun anyway because seriously, have you SEEN that show?
April 16, 2012 at 10:56 am
Wasn’t this dress featured on “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”? I thought I saw it on the mother of the bride…
April 16, 2012 at 10:57 am
Hmmm, no, there’s no bare midriff, otherwise I’d say there was a chance.
April 16, 2012 at 11:06 am
I’m sure there’s nipple peek-age in there somewhere…
April 16, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Pft, that’s only for special occasions.
April 19, 2012 at 12:09 am
But there are no lights on the dress and you can’t see her lady bits, so I’m pretty sure it wasn’t on “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. Although this could be a “starter dress” for the toddlers on that show. They teach them the Art of Sluttery quite young.
April 16, 2012 at 10:56 am
This would look so elegant with my toilet paper cozy mini top hat. I can wear it when I’m training birds to steal for me.
April 16, 2012 at 11:09 am
I’d love to have birds steal things for me. Provided that the things the birds were stealing weren’t strings.
April 16, 2012 at 11:13 am
Agreed. A shameful waste of talent if you ask me.
April 16, 2012 at 11:20 am
Birds might have trouble carrying a gold bar, alas.
Unless they tag-teamed, and carried it between a flock of them on a string… Hmm…
April 16, 2012 at 11:28 am
Are we talking African swallows, or European?
April 16, 2012 at 11:37 am
as long as they’re good at it does it really matter?
April 16, 2012 at 11:58 am
Get out of my head!!!
April 16, 2012 at 12:20 pm
jonboy doesn’t get it.
April 16, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Monty Python reference FTW!
April 16, 2012 at 12:12 pm
A great horned owl can carry things up to the size of an opossum short distances, so.. maybe forget the swallows, and train an owl.
April 16, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Oh, I think for such a job, we’ll need something stork-sized. But not the kind that delivers babies. No, for theft, we’ll need something a bit more… sinister…
http://www.dimijianimages.com/More-page2/marabou.htm
http://ibc.lynxeds.com/photo/marabou-leptoptilos-crumeniferus/several-marabou-stork-scavenge-dead-snakes-after-veld-fire-ha
DO NOT CLICK THESE IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH OR HAVE A PARTICULAR AFFINITY FOR LESSER FLAMINGOS: http://www.arkive.org/tawny-eagle/aquila-rapax/image-G34968.html
http://www.arkive.org/marabou-stork/leptoptilos-crumeniferus/image-G65528.html
http://www.visualphotos.com/image/1×3740295/marabou_stork_kills_flamingo_marabou_stork
There’s your nightmare fodder for the week!
April 16, 2012 at 8:10 pm
Oh, that stork looks like it has delivered a baby: it’s still wearing the placenta.
April 16, 2012 at 11:23 pm
Silly stork – everyone knows that you EAT the placenta, or at least make art with it, not wear it.
April 16, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Hello Doily!
April 16, 2012 at 11:21 am
Birds are such stupid, useless assholes. That’s why we shellac their dead remains and sculpt them into hairpieces and cake toppers and stuff. Because fuck birds.
April 16, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Well. Guess there’s one person who won’t be crying for the dead birds.
April 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm
No, tears thin the shellac too much. You don’t want your fascinator to start moulting, do you?
April 16, 2012 at 8:30 pm
FTW! Mr. GA has a deep and abiding hatred of birds and he cackled heartily at this.
April 17, 2012 at 6:07 am
Quarters. It’s all about stealing quarters
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/carwash.asp
April 16, 2012 at 10:56 am
This one time, when Betsy Johnson took up crochet for a weekend…
April 17, 2012 at 10:48 am
She needs some two-tone, patent-vinyl pumps and an utterly non-matching makeup case.
April 18, 2012 at 9:01 am
I’m not much for her style, but I do have her perfume.
April 16, 2012 at 10:58 am
What kind of sparrows were they? African or European?
April 16, 2012 at 11:13 am
It’s, like so depressingly few people, swallows.
April 16, 2012 at 11:29 am
Definitely African swallows
April 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm
They do?
April 16, 2012 at 10:59 am
Someone’s pants’re on fire.
April 16, 2012 at 11:03 am
Hence the bare legs!
April 16, 2012 at 11:00 am
Dagnabbit. I thought it was USD 188 for the cute gypsy.
April 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Description: painfully stupid (but creative, at least)
Product: OK if you like rainbow doilies for a dress
Price: Way over the top for what’s involved, though probably not out of line for the time spent making it
Model: DAMN! She’s cute!!!
USD 188, indeed!
April 16, 2012 at 11:00 am
I like it…not the necklace with it though, but the dress itself is my kind of tacky. I’d wear it.
April 16, 2012 at 11:15 am
I was just thinking that if the colors weren’t quite so bright, it’s the exact sort of fuckery I would have worn for giggles when I was thinner. However, I wouldn’t spend nearly 200 bucks on it.
April 16, 2012 at 12:18 pm
If it was like four bucks, I agree ^_^ it’s ugly cute.
April 16, 2012 at 11:20 pm
I like it too. I thought ‘oh, this is kinda nice’. Then read the description and had a serious look of disapproval. ಠ_ಠ
April 21, 2012 at 5:28 am
If it was less blue and maybe a hundred dollars cheaper, I would be seriously considering that shit.
But then again, you should see my wardrobe…
April 16, 2012 at 11:00 am
This gal actually has some quite amusing descriptions on her items. This one actually caused me to giggle a bit.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/83826873/african-queen-corset-dress
April 16, 2012 at 11:18 am
The materials for that include brass balls.
April 16, 2012 at 11:32 pm
Let’s not forget the chutzpah & monkey spit.
April 16, 2012 at 11:35 am
The first thing I thought when I read that was “What are spider monkeys doing in Africa?”
Then I thought I probably need to get out more.
April 16, 2012 at 1:06 pm
What were they doing in Africa? Tripping balls with a Ulysses’s reading Queen sloth by the sounds of it.
Funny, I don’t remember any of that happening when I was living in Egypt but then again, I wasn’t invited to “those” kinds of parties
April 16, 2012 at 8:01 pm
MEDIOCRE FRED. I know that song. : D
April 16, 2012 at 11:44 am
Another gem…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/83828903/luna-moth-formal-crochet-dress
“This dress wove itself while I slept. I had nothing to do with it.”
April 16, 2012 at 12:55 pm
You know… I think there’s a nonzero chance that she’s trolling the Etsy dopes who eat up the fantastical/quirky/’whimsicle’ items and descriptions.
I’m not sure if that would make the absurd pricing better or worse…
April 21, 2012 at 5:33 am
I am a cheapsake, so there is no way I’d pay that kind of money for a dress, even if I liked it. I just don’t have that sort of money.
But seriously, her pricing is certainly not out of line. Especially for all the crochet stuff and handiwork. You can buy mass produced crap for more than that.
It’s no wonder crafters complain that they never make much money when all they do is unfairly criticise each other’s pricing until they need to price themselves below cost just to compete.
It’s a vicous cycle, and it makes me sad.
April 16, 2012 at 11:01 am
How does a triple amputee crochet, anywho?
April 16, 2012 at 11:45 am
Very slowly.
April 16, 2012 at 11:01 am
I think she’s wearing it upside down.
April 16, 2012 at 11:08 am
Horrible as a dress, dead sexy as skants.
April 16, 2012 at 11:02 am
That’s a lot of work for something so unattractive. It’s a good thing she had help from the gypsies and birds.
April 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm
I don’t believe gypsies or thieving birds had any part in this festival of all the colors of the wind.
Looks to me like it was made by Lisa Frank during an acid trip.
I had a crochet afghan I started that had all these colors in it. I thought it would be a good way to use up all the bits of leftover yarn I had. Like a crochet crazy-quilt, made by a cheapskate.
After deciding that it was so horrifyingly ugly even Goodwill wouldn’t take it, I let the dogs unravel it. It really was for the best.
April 16, 2012 at 11:02 am
Things I Just Learned From Etsy:
Gypsies have chieftains.
They steal thread to make dresses.
They are blind.
April 16, 2012 at 11:42 am
I loved ‘chieftan’. When you’re appropriating someone’s culture for profit, who has time to think about accuracy???
April 16, 2012 at 11:46 am
Fuck Google. Gotta count all that Gypsy wampum.
April 16, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Well, when you’re using the term “gypsy,” you’ve already got problems. Why not make shit up?
April 16, 2012 at 11:03 am
I think it’s pretty. Not $188 pretty, but still. I’m gonna go glue some glittery shit to some other glittery shit now.
April 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm
And it will be better than this. I have faith i the power of gluing shit to other shit!
As an aside, what is up with the beaded rosettes necklace?
April 16, 2012 at 11:05 am
I wondered where my flock of yarn burglar sparrows went. I had no idea they would be in flying through a snowy range visiting gypsies who still, in 2012, caravan in oxen-powered, fancifully decorated wagons over through long winter months while hand-crafting potholders into wearable smocks. I don’t get out much.
April 16, 2012 at 12:10 pm
And I’ve been wondering why, when I’m crocheting or knitting along, the brightly colored yarn suddenly gives out and when I look at the ends, I see beak marks.
Keep your damned sparrows away from me!
April 16, 2012 at 12:24 pm
I’m OK with swallows!!!
April 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm
Laden swallows? Or unladen swallows?
April 16, 2012 at 11:07 am
Some of the sold items in that shop are ok (in a sloppy I-don’t-know-how-to-sew-for-real sort of way) but what’s for sale right now is a collection of the ugliest, lumpiest, most haphazard garbage, UGH!
April 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm
In other words, a typical cupcake shop…
April 16, 2012 at 11:07 am
If this dress was really dada, it would be a fainting goat.
April 16, 2012 at 11:43 am
Owning a fainting goat is one of my life’s dreams. THINK OF THE HILARITY.
April 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm
ya this is So not dada
April 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm
Wouldn’t it be ironic if this started a “This is not Dada” war?
April 17, 2012 at 2:09 pm
After all, it’s only Da, and perhaps only semi-Da at that.
April 16, 2012 at 11:07 am
Complicated cutesy-wootsy descriptions for ridiculous items always remind of the complicated stories people tell when they other people money and can’t pay:
“No really dude – my cousin’s nephew needed to get to Scranton Tuesday and I needed to help him out and that meant that I had to wire money to the phone company so I can’t pay now but it’ll be cool next Tuesday.”
April 16, 2012 at 11:11 am
Rubypearl was born in a house of ill repute. After acing the first grade, she ran away to join the circus. At night, while the elephants slept, she learned how to spin and sew from the spiders. She made whimsical creations for the trapeze artists, who needed their outfits to be both beautiful and comfortable. Magpies brought her shiny objects to embellish her dresses with, if they sometimes accidentally brought an eyeball they’d plucked from some unfortunate, she forgave them and quietly popped it into her mouth. The circus, for all it glorious adventure, was often low on dietary protein.
Soon everyone in the circus was wearing Rubypearl’s designs. The bearded lady told her friends she’d never felt so feminine. Lobster Boy proudly showed off his new embroidered claw covers, and the clowns matched their rainbow makeup to their beaded reworked jumpsuits. The monkeys were jealous of the midgets tutus and tried to steal them while everyone slept………
April 17, 2012 at 1:54 pm
When Stephen King retires, you’re in!
April 16, 2012 at 11:11 am
I’d totally go with the ‘tacky adorable’ look, which isn’t so bad really. But the retardedly Disney-esque fable in the description sets my teeth on edge.
I would love to reach through my screen and slap the bullshit out of the seller.
April 16, 2012 at 11:17 am
Oh yes, I like the tulle petticoat thing it’s got going on, but with a description like that I wouldn’t buy it just on principle.
April 16, 2012 at 11:28 am
Same here. I was looking at the picture and thinking “That’s not so bad; I can see some skill there. Why is this on Regretsy?”
Then I looked at the description and rolled my eyes. Someone went to that twee coleslaw-writing workshop, didn’t they?
April 16, 2012 at 4:42 pm
Thank you! I thought I was going nuts or needed a second opinon on my tastes, but yeah. It’s kind of cute. And if the description had said oh, “hand made, we used organic cotton and recycled materials, etc etc”, maybe lowered the price, it might have been cool.
Pretending that Disney animals sung to poor gypsy girl so she could have spring again, even if she’s just trying really hard to be whimsicle for the Etsy cupcakeolords, is just silly.
April 16, 2012 at 11:16 am
I’d totally wear this dress. This would have been perfect to wear to the opening of that yarn bombing art show I went to this past Saturday. Also, the artist’s description is awesome. I am being totally serious.
Unfortunately, I’m also a cheap ass and wouldn’t pay $188, though I grant that $188 worth of labor probably went into making it. But, I’m the sort of cheap ass that thinks $5 for a pair of jeans at Goodwill is pricy.
April 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm
True that! I only pay $3 at the thrift store I go to!
April 16, 2012 at 11:16 am
Those poor doilies!
April 16, 2012 at 11:19 am
Well, smack me and utter “da dandy”
Evidently everything I learned from Matthew Biro was bullshit because I know nothing about Dada or Surrealism. All hail the etsy machine of randomly applying nonsensical words and appropriating stories based on stereotypes.
I will now poke myself in the eye with a feather.
April 16, 2012 at 11:22 am
I wonder if the maroon under-doily dress is removable. It would be nice to wear it to my teaching job as we have no A/C during these warmer months.
April 16, 2012 at 11:27 am
As an avid crocheter, I can never bring myself to laugh at the monstrous examples of crochet atrocities you feature. This seller deserves a cease and desist but will not get it. I console myself knowing there is a special level of Hell for those such as her.
I’m surprised she only has 2 negative feedbacks, one positive feedback said the dress she bought was sewed together with yarn and arrived with straight pins still in it.
Altogether terrifying.
April 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Here’s the review jewel alchemy mentioned, for anyone who’s curious:
I HAD NO IDEA SOMEONE WOULD SEW A LADIES DRESS WITH YARN! HOW UNIQUE! ALSO, HOW DIFFERENT TO MISS MATCH THE TONES! IT MUST HAVE TAKEN YOU HOURS UPON HOURS TO MASTER THIS TRUELY ONE OF A KIND!! THE BEST TOUCH I’D SAY, IS LEAVING THE STRAIGHTS PINS IN, NOTHING BEATS A DRESS SEWN TOGETHER WITH ORANGE YARN AND THEN GETTING PRICKED WITH STRAIGHT PINS! WAY TO GO- AGAIN BLESSINGS TO YOU
April 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm
The seller really has a thing for sewing a dress together with orange yarn–she did it with ths unique frippery as well.
April 16, 2012 at 11:37 am
Looks like Gramma’s couch became sentient and tried to eat poor little gypsy princess. I do see where Law & Order totally would inspire this work, though
I see at least two cultural appropriations in this listing – did I miss any?
April 16, 2012 at 11:43 am
That’s…kinda hot. It’s okay. I’ll see myself out.
April 17, 2012 at 11:00 am
It’s amazing how Belzer made that all kinds of better.
I had a similar crochet blouse with beaded made-in-Taiwan “American Indian” necklace back in the 70s. I got mine at a thrift store. I think I paid $2.
April 16, 2012 at 11:43 am
Ack…snowy pass, my ass. Any gypsy chick in a dress like that in a snowy pass would freeze her bajingo off.
April 16, 2012 at 11:52 am
Gypsy bajingos are specially insulated for snowy passes. I heard that from the chieftain himself so you know it’s true.
April 16, 2012 at 11:50 am
If she already made it (while watching “hours of Law & Order”) how it available in sizes 2-8?
April 16, 2012 at 11:56 am
It took my third look to realize she wasn’t wearing a blouse and holding cheerleader pompoms over her “nether regions” for “modesty” and that it was part of the “dress”.
I like the color combo though. It would make a nice quilt.
April 16, 2012 at 11:57 am
Once upon a time, I was an avid knitter. After making way too many hats and scarves, I decided to make a tank top. It didn’t take long, and I was delighted with the results. I wore it to an outing in DC.
And that is where I learned that knit tops love to sag, and that my top was now aspiring to be a belt. I actually had to buy a shirt from a street vendor to keep from getting arrested. I told a friend, and she replied that this was why knitters mostly did sweaters. Dainty shoulders (like the ones above) will stretch.
That model is going to be bearing all if the humidity goes up.
April 16, 2012 at 1:25 pm
Ah, good old DC droop. On those days when it feels like you could chew the air (and today is damn close), then it’s more than just the knitted tops that sag…
April 16, 2012 at 3:56 pm
I think crochet is less likely to do that… but that still doesn’t look like a great dress to wear in the heat (all that tulle!).
April 16, 2012 at 5:06 pm
this is why you need to wear that stuff in Manhattan. Mammary wardrobe malfunctions are not an arrestable offense in NYC.
April 16, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Could someone please explain to me how to weave a doily into a dress?
April 16, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I think it takes a fairy godmother. Or LSD.
April 16, 2012 at 8:24 pm
I love your avatar because it looks like it wants a hug.
April 16, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Description is like a shit cupcake with vomit icing, but that dress is WORD. It turns me on.
April 16, 2012 at 12:50 pm
I agree!
Dress = pretty.
Description = double whammy (racist + faerie glitter BS).
April 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Sparrow 1- So, what are we doing tonight?
Sparrow 2- I thought maybe we’d head over to the nearby villages, steal some brightly colored yarn and then take it over to the chieftan’s daughter.
Sparrow 1- *whining* But we did that last night! And the night before that!
Sparrow 2- I know, I know. But for some reason the bitch thinks she’s Donatella Versace, and we need to keep her happy if we want to hang out in her caravan and not freeze our bills off.
April 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm
That’s some hilarious shit right there. Well done.
April 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm
“pieces of stolen thread”
I had wondered what happened to the mop I set out on the back porch.
April 16, 2012 at 12:46 pm
I wonder if the model has that smile because of what her hands are doing under that dress…
April 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm
The Romani people (i.e. “gypsies”) adhere to ancient Hindu laws on purity, which are similar to those of orthodox Jews. This makes it highly unlikely a Roma woman would ever wear a ridiculous tutu exposing her legs in this manner, as they consider the lower half of the body to be unclean. Also like Jews, they were slaughtered in death camps during the Holocaust, and have been persecuted throughout history (as recently as 1989 their women and young girls were being forcibly sterilized by the government of Czechoslovokia). Falsehoods about theft, evil curses, and animal witchcraft have always plagued them in Europe because their culture stems from a different land (India).
So… I guess it’s good to see that that prejudicial and outlandishly unrealistic bullshit designed to incite lynch mobs (e.g., they’re devil worshippers that cast spells to speak to animals and cause them to steal things from people) has finally stopped.
…right?
April 16, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Regarding the purity thing, it varies by region. The American gypsies I know (their self-description, not mine; technically they’re Sinti) are pretty much indistinguishable from the average American.
Except maybe when celebrating Christmas on January 7th by sprinkling grain on your head and doing shots of brandy.
April 17, 2012 at 7:47 pm
You are right. A real gypsy would never wear something like that, it would catch on the barb wire fences when we are trying to escape lynch mobs and all the other haters. When I’m looking into my crystal ball during the few minutes I get alone, to myself, when all of the stolen babies are at school, I want to be comfortable. That doesn’t look comfortable. Whatever happened to those UGG boots? I like to wear those, when fleeing.
April 16, 2012 at 1:06 pm
If it was truly a dadaist dress, she’d be naked.
April 16, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Eh, maybe…but some of the ludicrous shit they come up with on Etsy is just as dadaist as the Emperor’s new clothes. Skants, anyone?
April 16, 2012 at 1:07 pm
I love Sunny’s clothes and think she’s quite brilliant. As for the descriptions on her Etsy site– if you are missing the morbid tones and only catching the syrupy parts– you’re not getting it.
Erykah Badu has a wardrobe stockpile of Rubypearl dresses and the Bloggess used Rubypearl for the Traveling Red Dress project. Also– Sunny is a BIG Regretsy fan…
April 16, 2012 at 4:48 pm
I saw the article on the traveling red dress and rather adored the project and the basic idea. I’m totally missing the morbid tones and perhaps a more practical side would really just want to know how the thing was made and made of, but I can see what you’re getting at. =)
April 16, 2012 at 7:47 pm
You are correct!
April 16, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Sunny picks different materials that appeal to her. In the winter she will rework thrift shop cashmere sweaters, cutting them apart and making rosettes out of them and then add them to other garments. For these dresses, she was getting ready for Austin City Limits and scored a ton of old crocheted doilies. They’re overdyed and pieced together. We actually borrowed them for a shoot and show with a fantastic salon and every woman and girl who walked in during the drop off got excited about them. Every group of dresses is different and some of them get to Etsy. My son actually put a few stitches into a side seam on this dress to try his hand at sewing. There are often dresses made from cool and kitschy vintage scarves. The morbid part– read her full descriptions– lots of playfulness and dark humor.
April 16, 2012 at 8:24 pm
April 17, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I read the full description for this dress. I am passionately fond of her clothing designs (though I wish I could see the damn dress FLAT, not bunched in the model’s hands) and I normally love her quirky descriptions — but in this one she’s failed to get the morbid tone across. So it comes off as unbearably fucking twee, and therefore, a nauseating appropriation of a culture that, like pretty much every other traditional culture, really doesn’t need her shit. Which is why this listing belongs on Regretsy.
Sorry, but I’ve seen about twelve too many “gypsy” Halloween costumes lately.
April 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm
If she’s a big Regretsy fan, then she can take a little ribbing in stride.
April 16, 2012 at 7:19 pm
If she’s a big Regretsy fan then maybe all the horseshit in her descriptions is on purpose and she’s playing her own version of “Etsy or Regretsy” with us.
April 17, 2012 at 2:32 am
IN MY OPINION Erykah Badu is an overrated snob and her music and her style were over ten years ago. Call Tyrone to come get those ugly-ass clothes. Furthermore, your friend’s listing does not include corresponding measures for the sizes which is infuriating for buyers and adds extra work for her; answering convos that could be avoided by simply stating bust, waist and hip next to the sizes this monstrosity is offered in. Lastly, these silly and childish descriptions are insulting to the average consumer that has $188 to drop on a handmade garment. I want to know the garments measures and details about fit, not some bullshit the self-congratulatory seller decided on instead.
April 17, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Still some of the ugliest, most sloppily stitched, Garbage Lady from Labryrinth/Grouchland Queen of Trash nonsense stuck together bullshit barf bag crap I’ve ever seen. Take a sewing class for Maude’s sake! Ugh. It’s like the heavily rummaged doily bin at the thrift store only a little less organized. “Sewing” of this caliber just makes me angry.
April 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm
For a minute there I thought this dress looked okay for those people who are actually into crocheted dresses.
Then I read that fecking whimsicle description, and saw the listing (with photos that accentuate its doily orgy creation), and NO NO NO.
April 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm
I like the dress (SUE ME!), but OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP.
April 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm
I’m kinda digging it. And from reading a few of her other sparkly descriptions, I’m not sure if she isn’t counter-trolling Etsy, with their support of extra magical bullshit descriptions.
April 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm
If this dress is really made from stolen items, the police need to seize it immediately and arrest the seller.
And that also means that Etsy is guilty of fencing stolen items, making them accessories after the fact for this crime.
Further, those trained birds likely damaged items belonging to the villagers when thieving the yarn, so that makes this seller liable for that vandalism as well. This could well turn into a felony situation.
Finally, those gypsies in the mountain pass were clearly unprepared for bad weather and got stuck, requiring a rescue by local authorities, even though the pass was clearly closed due to avalanche danger. This places a serious burden on the taxpayers who have to foot the bill for their emergency room bills incurred due to frostbite and severe hypothermia. Since these gypsies are not citizens and are traveling around illegally in outright defiance of local rules, ordinances, and authority, they should be deported immediately.
April 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm
I love this! Let’s see Etsy punished for fencing! Seriously, brilliant.
April 17, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Good luck, you’ll have to wait until after the resellers. (looks around for the inevitable “scolding”) Oh this isn’t the etsy forums!
April 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm
Why do people think it is okay to objectify and stereotype the Roma? If people insist on sounding uneducated and racist by using “gypsy” instead of “Roma”, then at least they should ask themselves if the word Jew/black/Chinese is a good substitute. If it sounds racist with “Jew” instead of gypsy, well, guess what? It’s racist.
April 16, 2012 at 3:07 pm
just wanted to pipe in a little here, and say that often the term “gypsy” these days is used in literature/film to describe a “fantasy race” (I’m having trouble wording my thoughts here) kind of like pirates – “real” pirates still exist today, but when you hear the term pirates, people are probably referencing the stylized version, the “notion” of fantasy pirates. Here I imagine she is not deliberately making a reference to the Roma people. I didn’t want to sound like a preaching bumhead, hope what I said makes some sense…
April 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm
So … what’s wrong with “Wanderer,” “Traveler,” or any of the other non-racist terms that actually good non-racist fantasy authors (see MeiLin Miranda) are using these days?
I’m not saying that you’re wrong, mayple, just that the seller is.
April 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm
assuming the model is also the creator: why are the cute ones batshit insane? sadface.
April 16, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Don’t knock insanity. It’s the only way I get dates.
April 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Why am I so flipping in love with this dress? Have I gone mad or something?
April 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm
April 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Generally cute. If she would only line each sleeve piece and the bodice pieces with custom colored “nude” woven fabrics, they wouldn’t look so stretched out. :[
April 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm
I guess you can just drop some acid & then write any crazy bullshit you want into your item description? And, if you’ve time left, you can concoct some bullshit you’ve seen when someone’s waving their hands in front of your face with “The Doors” playing in the background! I’m beginning to liken alot of seller’s to used car dealers, sad….
April 16, 2012 at 3:09 pm
I was gonna bring up the acid, and how Cindi Lauper wore this dress while tripping, but you beat me to it!
April 16, 2012 at 8:03 pm
I momentarily thought I was having a flashback while reading the item description!
April 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm
The innocent seagull started out just stealing string.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqy9hxhUxK0
String is a gateway item!! Don’t leave out pretty bits of colored string for the speugs. If they learn to steal string, who knows what they will steal next. Think of the ickle speugs.
April 16, 2012 at 4:50 pm
“It was a robber’s daughter, and her name was Alice Brown.
Her father was the terror of a small Italian town;” does the story of the dress seem Gilbert-ish to anyone else? No? Never mind then.
April 16, 2012 at 5:21 pm
There’s a lost hyphen in gypsy land – ( toddler voice: “Da-da?”)
April 16, 2012 at 6:13 pm
I hate to say it, but I think the seller is telling a big fat lie about the origins of the dress. What she really did was to sneak into my Granny’s house and pinch about .04% of her collection of hand-made, by herself no less, doyleys. Then she stuck them on top of one of the 1950s petticoats the old girl still has stashed away in a cupboard. Now she’s after $188 for it.
Mind you she’s doing me a favour by removing some of this crap. When Granny finally goes, guess who has to deal with all the doyleys and other shit filling her house to the rafters?
April 16, 2012 at 8:05 pm
open an etsy shop & bone-up on your Dr. Seuss?
April 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm
A Doily dress made by that famous Gypsy, Auntie MacCassar.
April 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm
YOU ARE THE BEST
April 16, 2012 at 8:10 pm
I like the dress. Description is silly but admin are always telling sellers to invent a little story behind their products, so.
April 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Allow me to trot out the phrase that provides my Etsy shop with all its business:
“Just because Etsy admins say it’s a good idea, doesn’t mean that it is!”
April 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm
I really like this, too. As a doll dress tho, not an actual human dress. It looks like she was attempting Ukrainian crochet, but failed on scale. o_o;
April 16, 2012 at 10:29 pm
The model is cute, though.
April 17, 2012 at 4:08 am
I think the dress is cute– and certainly no stupider (sic) than things you see on the runway… If I weren’t an “Old Broad” I’d probably wear it (if someone bought it for me)
April 17, 2012 at 4:45 am
I still think this little dress is a cute idea, executed by a one-eyed troll with a potroast stuck up its nose.
April 17, 2012 at 5:31 am
Gosh, that particular dress is a bit much. But some of her other things are really interesting and unusual. Considering the work that goes into some of those, I think her prices aren’t mad at all. I’m kind of glad she made one silly enough to get onto Regretsy!
April 17, 2012 at 9:10 am
Being the unsophisticate that I am, I had to look up the term Dada. Finding this comment, “its works were characterized by a deliberate irrationality and the rejection of the prevailing standards of art,” I would say that the seller achieved her goal.
I kinda liked it until I saw the back.
April 17, 2012 at 10:30 am
Well, it’s official. Now everyone featured on Regretsy can easily be classified as Gypsies, Tramps or Thieves.
April 20, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Even the gypsies on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding dress better than that, and they dress pretty bad. And yes, I’m totally watching that tonight if it’s not a rerun. Oh who am I kidding, I’d watch the rerun anyway because seriously, have you SEEN that show?