Wasn’t this dress featured on “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”? I thought I saw it on the mother of the bride…
Hmmm, no, there’s no bare midriff, otherwise I’d say there was a chance.
I’m sure there’s nipple peek-age in there somewhere…
Pft, that’s only for special occasions.
But there are no lights on the dress and you can’t see her lady bits, so I’m pretty sure it wasn’t on “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. Although this could be a “starter dress” for the toddlers on that show. They teach them the Art of Sluttery quite young.
This would look so elegant with my toilet paper cozy mini top hat. I can wear it when I’m training birds to steal for me.
I’d love to have birds steal things for me. Provided that the things the birds were stealing weren’t strings.
Agreed. A shameful waste of talent if you ask me.
Birds might have trouble carrying a gold bar, alas.
Unless they tag-teamed, and carried it between a flock of them on a string… Hmm…
Are we talking African swallows, or European?
as long as they’re good at it does it really matter?
Get out of my head!!!
jonboy doesn’t get it.
Monty Python reference FTW!
A great horned owl can carry things up to the size of an opossum short distances, so.. maybe forget the swallows, and train an owl.
Oh, I think for such a job, we’ll need something stork-sized. But not the kind that delivers babies. No, for theft, we’ll need something a bit more… sinister…
DO NOT CLICK THESE IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH OR HAVE A PARTICULAR AFFINITY FOR LESSER FLAMINGOS: http://www.arkive.org/tawny-eagle/aquila-rapax/image-G34968.html
There’s your nightmare fodder for the week!
Oh, that stork looks like it has delivered a baby: it’s still wearing the placenta.
Silly stork – everyone knows that you EAT the placenta, or at least make art with it, not wear it.
Birds are such stupid, useless assholes. That’s why we shellac their dead remains and sculpt them into hairpieces and cake toppers and stuff. Because fuck birds.
Well. Guess there’s one person who won’t be crying for the dead birds.
No, tears thin the shellac too much. You don’t want your fascinator to start moulting, do you?
FTW! Mr. GA has a deep and abiding hatred of birds and he cackled heartily at this.
Quarters. It’s all about stealing quarters
This one time, when Betsy Johnson took up crochet for a weekend…
She needs some two-tone, patent-vinyl pumps and an utterly non-matching makeup case.
I’m not much for her style, but I do have her perfume.
What kind of sparrows were they? African or European?
It’s, like so depressingly few people, swallows.
Definitely African swallows
Someone’s pants’re on fire.
Hence the bare legs!
Dagnabbit. I thought it was USD 188 for the cute gypsy.
Description: painfully stupid (but creative, at least)
Product: OK if you like rainbow doilies for a dress
Price: Way over the top for what’s involved, though probably not out of line for the time spent making it
Model: DAMN! She’s cute!!!
USD 188, indeed!
I like it…not the necklace with it though, but the dress itself is my kind of tacky. I’d wear it.
I was just thinking that if the colors weren’t quite so bright, it’s the exact sort of fuckery I would have worn for giggles when I was thinner. However, I wouldn’t spend nearly 200 bucks on it.
If it was like four bucks, I agree ^_^ it’s ugly cute.
I like it too. I thought ‘oh, this is kinda nice’. Then read the description and had a serious look of disapproval. ಠ_ಠ
If it was less blue and maybe a hundred dollars cheaper, I would be seriously considering that shit.
But then again, you should see my wardrobe…
This gal actually has some quite amusing descriptions on her items. This one actually caused me to giggle a bit.
The materials for that include brass balls.
Let’s not forget the chutzpah & monkey spit.
The first thing I thought when I read that was “What are spider monkeys doing in Africa?”
Then I thought I probably need to get out more.
What were they doing in Africa? Tripping balls with a Ulysses’s reading Queen sloth by the sounds of it.
Funny, I don’t remember any of that happening when I was living in Egypt but then again, I wasn’t invited to “those” kinds of parties
MEDIOCRE FRED. I know that song. : D
“This dress wove itself while I slept. I had nothing to do with it.”
You know… I think there’s a nonzero chance that she’s trolling the Etsy dopes who eat up the fantastical/quirky/’whimsicle’ items and descriptions.
I’m not sure if that would make the absurd pricing better or worse…
I am a cheapsake, so there is no way I’d pay that kind of money for a dress, even if I liked it. I just don’t have that sort of money.
But seriously, her pricing is certainly not out of line. Especially for all the crochet stuff and handiwork. You can buy mass produced crap for more than that.
It’s no wonder crafters complain that they never make much money when all they do is unfairly criticise each other’s pricing until they need to price themselves below cost just to compete.
It’s a vicous cycle, and it makes me sad.
How does a triple amputee crochet, anywho?
I think she’s wearing it upside down.
Horrible as a dress, dead sexy as skants.
That’s a lot of work for something so unattractive. It’s a good thing she had help from the gypsies and birds.
I don’t believe gypsies or thieving birds had any part in this festival of all the colors of the wind.
Looks to me like it was made by Lisa Frank during an acid trip.
I had a crochet afghan I started that had all these colors in it. I thought it would be a good way to use up all the bits of leftover yarn I had. Like a crochet crazy-quilt, made by a cheapskate.
After deciding that it was so horrifyingly ugly even Goodwill wouldn’t take it, I let the dogs unravel it. It really was for the best.
Things I Just Learned From Etsy:
Gypsies have chieftains.
They steal thread to make dresses.
They are blind.
I loved ‘chieftan’. When you’re appropriating someone’s culture for profit, who has time to think about accuracy???
Fuck Google. Gotta count all that Gypsy wampum.
Well, when you’re using the term “gypsy,” you’ve already got problems. Why not make shit up?
I think it’s pretty. Not $188 pretty, but still. I’m gonna go glue some glittery shit to some other glittery shit now.
And it will be better than this. I have faith i the power of gluing shit to other shit!
As an aside, what is up with the beaded rosettes necklace?
I wondered where my flock of yarn burglar sparrows went. I had no idea they would be in flying through a snowy range visiting gypsies who still, in 2012, caravan in oxen-powered, fancifully decorated wagons over through long winter months while hand-crafting potholders into wearable smocks. I don’t get out much.
And I’ve been wondering why, when I’m crocheting or knitting along, the brightly colored yarn suddenly gives out and when I look at the ends, I see beak marks.
Keep your damned sparrows away from me!
I’m OK with swallows!!!
Laden swallows? Or unladen swallows?
Some of the sold items in that shop are ok (in a sloppy I-don’t-know-how-to-sew-for-real sort of way) but what’s for sale right now is a collection of the ugliest, lumpiest, most haphazard garbage, UGH!
In other words, a typical cupcake shop…
If this dress was really dada, it would be a fainting goat.
Owning a fainting goat is one of my life’s dreams. THINK OF THE HILARITY.
ya this is So not dada
Wouldn’t it be ironic if this started a “This is not Dada” war?
After all, it’s only Da, and perhaps only semi-Da at that.
Complicated cutesy-wootsy descriptions for ridiculous items always remind of the complicated stories people tell when they other people money and can’t pay:
“No really dude – my cousin’s nephew needed to get to Scranton Tuesday and I needed to help him out and that meant that I had to wire money to the phone company so I can’t pay now but it’ll be cool next Tuesday.”
Rubypearl was born in a house of ill repute. After acing the first grade, she ran away to join the circus. At night, while the elephants slept, she learned how to spin and sew from the spiders. She made whimsical creations for the trapeze artists, who needed their outfits to be both beautiful and comfortable. Magpies brought her shiny objects to embellish her dresses with, if they sometimes accidentally brought an eyeball they’d plucked from some unfortunate, she forgave them and quietly popped it into her mouth. The circus, for all it glorious adventure, was often low on dietary protein.
Soon everyone in the circus was wearing Rubypearl’s designs. The bearded lady told her friends she’d never felt so feminine. Lobster Boy proudly showed off his new embroidered claw covers, and the clowns matched their rainbow makeup to their beaded reworked jumpsuits. The monkeys were jealous of the midgets tutus and tried to steal them while everyone slept………
When Stephen King retires, you’re in!
I’d totally go with the ‘tacky adorable’ look, which isn’t so bad really. But the retardedly Disney-esque fable in the description sets my teeth on edge.
I would love to reach through my screen and slap the bullshit out of the seller.
Oh yes, I like the tulle petticoat thing it’s got going on, but with a description like that I wouldn’t buy it just on principle.
Same here. I was looking at the picture and thinking “That’s not so bad; I can see some skill there. Why is this on Regretsy?”
Then I looked at the description and rolled my eyes. Someone went to that twee coleslaw-writing workshop, didn’t they?
Thank you! I thought I was going nuts or needed a second opinon on my tastes, but yeah. It’s kind of cute. And if the description had said oh, “hand made, we used organic cotton and recycled materials, etc etc”, maybe lowered the price, it might have been cool.
Pretending that Disney animals sung to poor gypsy girl so she could have spring again, even if she’s just trying really hard to be whimsicle for the Etsy cupcakeolords, is just silly.
I’d totally wear this dress. This would have been perfect to wear to the opening of that yarn bombing art show I went to this past Saturday. Also, the artist’s description is awesome. I am being totally serious.
Unfortunately, I’m also a cheap ass and wouldn’t pay $188, though I grant that $188 worth of labor probably went into making it. But, I’m the sort of cheap ass that thinks $5 for a pair of jeans at Goodwill is pricy.
True that! I only pay $3 at the thrift store I go to!
Those poor doilies!
Well, smack me and utter “da dandy”
Evidently everything I learned from Matthew Biro was bullshit because I know nothing about Dada or Surrealism. All hail the etsy machine of randomly applying nonsensical words and appropriating stories based on stereotypes.
I will now poke myself in the eye with a feather.
I wonder if the maroon under-doily dress is removable. It would be nice to wear it to my teaching job as we have no A/C during these warmer months.
As an avid crocheter, I can never bring myself to laugh at the monstrous examples of crochet atrocities you feature. This seller deserves a cease and desist but will not get it. I console myself knowing there is a special level of Hell for those such as her.
I’m surprised she only has 2 negative feedbacks, one positive feedback said the dress she bought was sewed together with yarn and arrived with straight pins still in it.
Here’s the review jewel alchemy mentioned, for anyone who’s curious:
I HAD NO IDEA SOMEONE WOULD SEW A LADIES DRESS WITH YARN! HOW UNIQUE! ALSO, HOW DIFFERENT TO MISS MATCH THE TONES! IT MUST HAVE TAKEN YOU HOURS UPON HOURS TO MASTER THIS TRUELY ONE OF A KIND!! THE BEST TOUCH I’D SAY, IS LEAVING THE STRAIGHTS PINS IN, NOTHING BEATS A DRESS SEWN TOGETHER WITH ORANGE YARN AND THEN GETTING PRICKED WITH STRAIGHT PINS! WAY TO GO- AGAIN BLESSINGS TO YOU
The seller really has a thing for sewing a dress together with orange yarn–she did it with ths unique frippery as well.
Looks like Gramma’s couch became sentient and tried to eat poor little gypsy princess. I do see where Law & Order totally would inspire this work, though
I see at least two cultural appropriations in this listing – did I miss any?
That’s…kinda hot. It’s okay. I’ll see myself out.
It’s amazing how Belzer made that all kinds of better.
I had a similar crochet blouse with beaded made-in-Taiwan “American Indian” necklace back in the 70s. I got mine at a thrift store. I think I paid $2.
Ack…snowy pass, my ass. Any gypsy chick in a dress like that in a snowy pass would freeze her bajingo off.
Gypsy bajingos are specially insulated for snowy passes. I heard that from the chieftain himself so you know it’s true.
If she already made it (while watching “hours of Law & Order”) how it available in sizes 2-8?
It took my third look to realize she wasn’t wearing a blouse and holding cheerleader pompoms over her “nether regions” for “modesty” and that it was part of the “dress”.
I like the color combo though. It would make a nice quilt.
Once upon a time, I was an avid knitter. After making way too many hats and scarves, I decided to make a tank top. It didn’t take long, and I was delighted with the results. I wore it to an outing in DC.
And that is where I learned that knit tops love to sag, and that my top was now aspiring to be a belt. I actually had to buy a shirt from a street vendor to keep from getting arrested. I told a friend, and she replied that this was why knitters mostly did sweaters. Dainty shoulders (like the ones above) will stretch.
That model is going to be bearing all if the humidity goes up.
Ah, good old DC droop. On those days when it feels like you could chew the air (and today is damn close), then it’s more than just the knitted tops that sag…
I think crochet is less likely to do that… but that still doesn’t look like a great dress to wear in the heat (all that tulle!).
this is why you need to wear that stuff in Manhattan. Mammary wardrobe malfunctions are not an arrestable offense in NYC.
Could someone please explain to me how to weave a doily into a dress?
I think it takes a fairy godmother. Or LSD.
I love your avatar because it looks like it wants a hug.
Description is like a shit cupcake with vomit icing, but that dress is WORD. It turns me on.
Dress = pretty.
Description = double whammy (racist + faerie glitter BS).
Sparrow 1- So, what are we doing tonight?
Sparrow 2- I thought maybe we’d head over to the nearby villages, steal some brightly colored yarn and then take it over to the chieftan’s daughter.
Sparrow 1- *whining* But we did that last night! And the night before that!
Sparrow 2- I know, I know. But for some reason the bitch thinks she’s Donatella Versace, and we need to keep her happy if we want to hang out in her caravan and not freeze our bills off.
That’s some hilarious shit right there. Well done.
“pieces of stolen thread”
I had wondered what happened to the mop I set out on the back porch.
I wonder if the model has that smile because of what her hands are doing under that dress…
The Romani people (i.e. “gypsies”) adhere to ancient Hindu laws on purity, which are similar to those of orthodox Jews. This makes it highly unlikely a Roma woman would ever wear a ridiculous tutu exposing her legs in this manner, as they consider the lower half of the body to be unclean. Also like Jews, they were slaughtered in death camps during the Holocaust, and have been persecuted throughout history (as recently as 1989 their women and young girls were being forcibly sterilized by the government of Czechoslovokia). Falsehoods about theft, evil curses, and animal witchcraft have always plagued them in Europe because their culture stems from a different land (India).
So… I guess it’s good to see that that prejudicial and outlandishly unrealistic bullshit designed to incite lynch mobs (e.g., they’re devil worshippers that cast spells to speak to animals and cause them to steal things from people) has finally stopped.
Regarding the purity thing, it varies by region. The American gypsies I know (their self-description, not mine; technically they’re Sinti) are pretty much indistinguishable from the average American.
Except maybe when celebrating Christmas on January 7th by sprinkling grain on your head and doing shots of brandy.
You are right. A real gypsy would never wear something like that, it would catch on the barb wire fences when we are trying to escape lynch mobs and all the other haters. When I’m looking into my crystal ball during the few minutes I get alone, to myself, when all of the stolen babies are at school, I want to be comfortable. That doesn’t look comfortable. Whatever happened to those UGG boots? I like to wear those, when fleeing.
If it was truly a dadaist dress, she’d be naked.
Eh, maybe…but some of the ludicrous shit they come up with on Etsy is just as dadaist as the Emperor’s new clothes. Skants, anyone?
I love Sunny’s clothes and think she’s quite brilliant. As for the descriptions on her Etsy site– if you are missing the morbid tones and only catching the syrupy parts– you’re not getting it.
Erykah Badu has a wardrobe stockpile of Rubypearl dresses and the Bloggess used Rubypearl for the Traveling Red Dress project. Also– Sunny is a BIG Regretsy fan…
I saw the article on the traveling red dress and rather adored the project and the basic idea. I’m totally missing the morbid tones and perhaps a more practical side would really just want to know how the thing was made and made of, but I can see what you’re getting at. =)
You are correct!
Sunny picks different materials that appeal to her. In the winter she will rework thrift shop cashmere sweaters, cutting them apart and making rosettes out of them and then add them to other garments. For these dresses, she was getting ready for Austin City Limits and scored a ton of old crocheted doilies. They’re overdyed and pieced together. We actually borrowed them for a shoot and show with a fantastic salon and every woman and girl who walked in during the drop off got excited about them. Every group of dresses is different and some of them get to Etsy. My son actually put a few stitches into a side seam on this dress to try his hand at sewing. There are often dresses made from cool and kitschy vintage scarves. The morbid part– read her full descriptions– lots of playfulness and dark humor.
I read the full description for this dress. I am passionately fond of her clothing designs (though I wish I could see the damn dress FLAT, not bunched in the model’s hands) and I normally love her quirky descriptions — but in this one she’s failed to get the morbid tone across. So it comes off as unbearably fucking twee, and therefore, a nauseating appropriation of a culture that, like pretty much every other traditional culture, really doesn’t need her shit. Which is why this listing belongs on Regretsy.
Sorry, but I’ve seen about twelve too many “gypsy” Halloween costumes lately.
If she’s a big Regretsy fan, then she can take a little ribbing in stride.
If she’s a big Regretsy fan then maybe all the horseshit in her descriptions is on purpose and she’s playing her own version of “Etsy or Regretsy” with us.
IN MY OPINION Erykah Badu is an overrated snob and her music and her style were over ten years ago. Call Tyrone to come get those ugly-ass clothes. Furthermore, your friend’s listing does not include corresponding measures for the sizes which is infuriating for buyers and adds extra work for her; answering convos that could be avoided by simply stating bust, waist and hip next to the sizes this monstrosity is offered in. Lastly, these silly and childish descriptions are insulting to the average consumer that has $188 to drop on a handmade garment. I want to know the garments measures and details about fit, not some bullshit the self-congratulatory seller decided on instead.
Still some of the ugliest, most sloppily stitched, Garbage Lady from Labryrinth/Grouchland Queen of Trash nonsense stuck together bullshit barf bag crap I’ve ever seen. Take a sewing class for Maude’s sake! Ugh. It’s like the heavily rummaged doily bin at the thrift store only a little less organized. “Sewing” of this caliber just makes me angry.
For a minute there I thought this dress looked okay for those people who are actually into crocheted dresses.
Then I read that fecking whimsicle description, and saw the listing (with photos that accentuate its doily orgy creation), and NO NO NO.
I like the dress (SUE ME!), but OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP.
I’m kinda digging it. And from reading a few of her other sparkly descriptions, I’m not sure if she isn’t counter-trolling Etsy, with their support of extra magical bullshit descriptions.
If this dress is really made from stolen items, the police need to seize it immediately and arrest the seller.
And that also means that Etsy is guilty of fencing stolen items, making them accessories after the fact for this crime.
Further, those trained birds likely damaged items belonging to the villagers when thieving the yarn, so that makes this seller liable for that vandalism as well. This could well turn into a felony situation.
Finally, those gypsies in the mountain pass were clearly unprepared for bad weather and got stuck, requiring a rescue by local authorities, even though the pass was clearly closed due to avalanche danger. This places a serious burden on the taxpayers who have to foot the bill for their emergency room bills incurred due to frostbite and severe hypothermia. Since these gypsies are not citizens and are traveling around illegally in outright defiance of local rules, ordinances, and authority, they should be deported immediately.
I love this! Let’s see Etsy punished for fencing! Seriously, brilliant.
Good luck, you’ll have to wait until after the resellers. (looks around for the inevitable “scolding”) Oh this isn’t the etsy forums!
Why do people think it is okay to objectify and stereotype the Roma? If people insist on sounding uneducated and racist by using “gypsy” instead of “Roma”, then at least they should ask themselves if the word Jew/black/Chinese is a good substitute. If it sounds racist with “Jew” instead of gypsy, well, guess what? It’s racist.
just wanted to pipe in a little here, and say that often the term “gypsy” these days is used in literature/film to describe a “fantasy race” (I’m having trouble wording my thoughts here) kind of like pirates – “real” pirates still exist today, but when you hear the term pirates, people are probably referencing the stylized version, the “notion” of fantasy pirates. Here I imagine she is not deliberately making a reference to the Roma people. I didn’t want to sound like a preaching bumhead, hope what I said makes some sense…
So … what’s wrong with “Wanderer,” “Traveler,” or any of the other non-racist terms that actually good non-racist fantasy authors (see MeiLin Miranda) are using these days?
I’m not saying that you’re wrong, mayple, just that the seller is.
assuming the model is also the creator: why are the cute ones batshit insane? sadface.
Don’t knock insanity. It’s the only way I get dates.
Why am I so flipping in love with this dress? Have I gone mad or something?
Generally cute. If she would only line each sleeve piece and the bodice pieces with custom colored “nude” woven fabrics, they wouldn’t look so stretched out. :[
I guess you can just drop some acid & then write any crazy bullshit you want into your item description? And, if you’ve time left, you can concoct some bullshit you’ve seen when someone’s waving their hands in front of your face with “The Doors” playing in the background! I’m beginning to liken alot of seller’s to used car dealers, sad….
I was gonna bring up the acid, and how Cindi Lauper wore this dress while tripping, but you beat me to it!
I momentarily thought I was having a flashback while reading the item description!
The innocent seagull started out just stealing string.
String is a gateway item!! Don’t leave out pretty bits of colored string for the speugs. If they learn to steal string, who knows what they will steal next. Think of the ickle speugs.
“It was a robber’s daughter, and her name was Alice Brown.
Her father was the terror of a small Italian town;” does the story of the dress seem Gilbert-ish to anyone else? No? Never mind then.
There’s a lost hyphen in gypsy land – ( toddler voice: “Da-da?”)
I hate to say it, but I think the seller is telling a big fat lie about the origins of the dress. What she really did was to sneak into my Granny’s house and pinch about .04% of her collection of hand-made, by herself no less, doyleys. Then she stuck them on top of one of the 1950s petticoats the old girl still has stashed away in a cupboard. Now she’s after $188 for it.
Mind you she’s doing me a favour by removing some of this crap. When Granny finally goes, guess who has to deal with all the doyleys and other shit filling her house to the rafters?
open an etsy shop & bone-up on your Dr. Seuss?
A Doily dress made by that famous Gypsy, Auntie MacCassar.
YOU ARE THE BEST
I like the dress. Description is silly but admin are always telling sellers to invent a little story behind their products, so.
Allow me to trot out the phrase that provides my Etsy shop with all its business:
“Just because Etsy admins say it’s a good idea, doesn’t mean that it is!”
I really like this, too. As a doll dress tho, not an actual human dress. It looks like she was attempting Ukrainian crochet, but failed on scale. o_o;
The model is cute, though.
I think the dress is cute– and certainly no stupider (sic) than things you see on the runway… If I weren’t an “Old Broad” I’d probably wear it (if someone bought it for me)
I still think this little dress is a cute idea, executed by a one-eyed troll with a potroast stuck up its nose.
Gosh, that particular dress is a bit much. But some of her other things are really interesting and unusual. Considering the work that goes into some of those, I think her prices aren’t mad at all. I’m kind of glad she made one silly enough to get onto Regretsy!
Being the unsophisticate that I am, I had to look up the term Dada. Finding this comment, “its works were characterized by a deliberate irrationality and the rejection of the prevailing standards of art,” I would say that the seller achieved her goal.
I kinda liked it until I saw the back.
Well, it’s official. Now everyone featured on Regretsy can easily be classified as Gypsies, Tramps or Thieves.
Even the gypsies on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding dress better than that, and they dress pretty bad. And yes, I’m totally watching that tonight if it’s not a rerun. Oh who am I kidding, I’d watch the rerun anyway because seriously, have you SEEN that show?
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