That’s kinda impossible if you only have male friends (whom you end up killing right after you meet them). You need at least one female friend willing to carry your turkey baster baby.
Ahh, this takes me back to Sunday School. (sadly, I’m not kidding)
My mom also has this cake mold, but it actually looks cute when she does it (minus the blood). In this case, the M&M eyes and nose are so akwardly positioned that it appears undead to me and I don’t mourn it’s decapitation.
My aunt has the mold and her creations look like some sort of hellspawn. I adore the woman but I don’t know how she can get it that creepy. It’s almost a talent, really.
I have two of that sort of mold- why yes, I did make one hazelnut and one almond lamb each this year. There were arguments over who go to decapitate it and who got the bottom…
Every year I forgot to get one of these (well, I wouldn’t get it from etsy, I mean from a bakery) but every damn year i forget.
I figure if the kids get to go through a candy induced whirlwind of craziness, I at least get to have a little fun at their expense with a bleeding cake for dessert.
Not gonna lie, this looks pretty delicious right now, except for the whole “food on Etsy” part. I guess the “pickup” part would ameliorate that somewhat, though, as you can make sure it’s not covered in cat hair before you take it home.
I agree, though, needs more blood. The blood is the tastiest part!
The “blood” is supposed to be put into a condom and baked into the cake, so that it goes SPLOOSH all over the table when the throat is cut. Sheeesh, people!
You want to bake sausage using the condoms with the reservoir tips. That way when the sausage juice explodes from the sausage, it will still be contained.
And in some small way–I mean large. Very large and impressive way, that is able to satisfy my necrophilia and bestiality fetishes at the same time! Actually using it to have sex is just a BONUS at that point! =D
I guess I can understand the whole “blood of the lamb” thing, but it doesn’t make this any less weird. Plus, I must add, A FOUNTAIN OF BLOOD MUST GUSH! No, not gush…spurt. Yeah, that’s a better word; really sells the whole decapitation thing.
In Belgium it is tradition to have an ice cream lamb to celebrate your ‘confirmation of Faith’, the one who is celebrated has to cut off the head of the lamb, inside is a grenadine capsule that ‘bleeds’ :p
The seller would need to figure out how to really get the blood gushing out of the cake for one of those. All the better to humiliate… *cough* I mean celebrate your daughter.
In addition to some gushing action, I think the cake itself should be red velvet. For authenticity! I don’t think I’d want a slice of lamb that had yellow meat. Come on, that would be gross.
HOW CAN I CELEBRATE THE DEATH & RESURRECTION OF MY LORD WITHOUT MORE BLOOD IN THE LAMB CAKE? EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE BLOOD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS BROKEN. SOMEONE HELP ME.
I actually got my first period on one Easter. My Mother told my Grandmother and Aunts and they all congratulated me. I was MORTIFIED. I think the only thing that could have made that worse would be a Red Tent/Easter bleeding cake.
This zombie-lamb cake with realistic decapitation action makes the ol’ gears crank. I wonder if there’s someone that makes something resembling a well-known creme egg candy, except with a marzipan chicken fetus inside? Am I the only one that thinks that’d just be the bee’s knees? Or am I just really, really high (on life, of course)?
you could buy a chocolate mold and make your own, or ask a local owned chocolatier to do one. (We have a locally owned franchise of Schokolad that has hundreds and hundreds of molds, and does custom work)
My sister makes a similar lamb cake every year for easter. This year it broke apart when it came out of the pan, so she made some raspberry cream filling to put between the broken layers, and then proceeded to give it x’s for eyes. Delicioussss
My friends (who are both atheists) make a similar cake (including fake blood) every year. It is actually a morbid tradition that they’ve brought over from when the husband was a kid and a “good Christian”.
April 8, 2012 at 9:32 am
it’s kind of cool, but disturbing. the lamb itself, not the fact that it bleeds.
April 8, 2012 at 9:33 am
It needs more blood.
April 8, 2012 at 9:41 am
Perhaps if they pressurized the jelly with nitrous cartridges…
April 8, 2012 at 9:47 am
…or red velvet cake.
April 8, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Every sacrificial lamb, person, cake, vagina looking lamp should be red velvet.
April 8, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Agreed. I wonder if you can get the blood in different flavors? It looks tasty.
April 8, 2012 at 9:33 am
I’d want it to gush blood more, not sure that jam is fooling anyone.
April 8, 2012 at 9:33 am
Nothing says “Easter” like a bloody lamb cake…..
April 8, 2012 at 10:05 am
Except maybe an actual bloody lamb.
April 8, 2012 at 9:35 am
My husband lost his shit. . . . but I don’t think it bleeds enough. >:[ MOAR BLOOD FOR THE REGRETSY GODS!
April 8, 2012 at 9:36 am
Rubbing this over the front door is messy, but still better than the real thing.
April 8, 2012 at 9:36 am
They made the lambs stop screaming.
April 8, 2012 at 9:37 am
I would have liked a story in the description. I’m paying money for a personalized item with a history, dammit!
April 8, 2012 at 9:37 am
Aw, it’s gone already. I was actually going to buy it and pick it up since I’m from Milwaukee.
April 8, 2012 at 11:11 am
He WANTS you to pick it up. How else can he kill you? You could still show up though. He probably has a huge bath tub and extra bags of lime.
It’s been nice knowing you. Can I have your house?
April 8, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Did Jeffrey Dahmer have a son?
April 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm
That’s kinda impossible if you only have male friends (whom you end up killing right after you meet them). You need at least one female friend willing to carry your turkey baster baby.
April 8, 2012 at 2:42 pm
So wait, if he HADN’T killed them right after he met them, they would have had his babies?
April 8, 2012 at 5:25 pm
EyeHeartSpiders: Have you seen the movie “Alien?” It’d be something like that, I imagine.
April 8, 2012 at 9:38 am
Ahh, this takes me back to Sunday School. (sadly, I’m not kidding)
My mom also has this cake mold, but it actually looks cute when she does it (minus the blood). In this case, the M&M eyes and nose are so akwardly positioned that it appears undead to me and I don’t mourn it’s decapitation.
April 8, 2012 at 10:11 am
My aunt has the mold and her creations look like some sort of hellspawn. I adore the woman but I don’t know how she can get it that creepy. It’s almost a talent, really.
April 11, 2012 at 12:05 pm
I have two of that sort of mold- why yes, I did make one hazelnut and one almond lamb each this year. There were arguments over who go to decapitate it and who got the bottom…
April 8, 2012 at 9:38 am
Every year I forgot to get one of these (well, I wouldn’t get it from etsy, I mean from a bakery) but every damn year i forget.
I figure if the kids get to go through a candy induced whirlwind of craziness, I at least get to have a little fun at their expense with a bleeding cake for dessert.
April 10, 2012 at 9:58 am
Mark your calender for next year. Stop neglecting the children!
April 8, 2012 at 9:39 am
Not gonna lie, this looks pretty delicious right now, except for the whole “food on Etsy” part. I guess the “pickup” part would ameliorate that somewhat, though, as you can make sure it’s not covered in cat hair before you take it home.
I agree, though, needs more blood. The blood is the tastiest part!
April 8, 2012 at 9:40 am
it’s so lovely and creamy and yummy!
April 8, 2012 at 9:41 am
Hannibal Lector Fuck The World!
April 8, 2012 at 9:42 am
Mary had a little lamb
With icing white as snow
Then she cut that fucker’s head off
To watch the bloodbath show….
April 10, 2012 at 10:00 am
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.
And thanks to Mary’s sharp sharp knife,
The lamp will flow and flow.
April 8, 2012 at 9:43 am
Gives a new meaning to shoving religion down someone’s throat.
April 8, 2012 at 9:49 am
Wait, is it kosher? I need to know before I can make a decision on this.
April 8, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Considering the facts that it’s Passover and that the cake looks leavened, Imma go with no.
April 8, 2012 at 9:52 am
I wonder if she can make a zombie Jesus cake. They’re so hard to find…
April 8, 2012 at 10:09 am
April 8, 2012 at 10:11 am
Jesus, Arthas… Tomato, tomahto.
April 8, 2012 at 10:53 am
I just had this conversation last night. It’s a revelation!
April 8, 2012 at 9:30 pm
I’m staying the fuck out of Lichtenstein.
April 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Yes, but liches are evil. Jesus uses holy/light/positive energy magic. He’s probably a baelnorn.
April 9, 2012 at 8:01 pm
Not gonna lie. This made me Lol.
April 8, 2012 at 10:09 am
The “blood” is supposed to be put into a condom and baked into the cake, so that it goes SPLOOSH all over the table when the throat is cut. Sheeesh, people!
April 8, 2012 at 10:14 am
Ewe! Ever taste baked condom? Not really good with yellow cake.
April 8, 2012 at 10:25 am
I see what you did there.
April 8, 2012 at 10:30 am
OldPhatMc…Part of me (not saying which) wants to know how you know, but I won’t ask ….
April 8, 2012 at 10:50 am
I really wanted to ask also, but I’m afraid of the answer!
April 8, 2012 at 2:07 pm
OH NanaB! How I’ve missed parts of you !!!
Actually it was a baking mishap involving a latex glove. Which is analagous. Except for the lubricant. And the “ribs for her pleasure”.
April 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm
Wait, they make unribbed gloves?
April 8, 2012 at 11:18 am
I always bake sausages in condoms, it keeps the oven clean.
Actually I read they keep the oven clean right on the box.
You have to use the cheap condoms that already have holes in them or they pop and splatter the inside of the oven with sausage juice.
That was also on the box.
April 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm
My knowledge of biology may be a bit rusty…. But doesn’t having a hole in it defeat the very purpose of a condom?
The only ones I’ve ever known of that had holes in them were… used.
Please, please, please let me be wrong.
April 8, 2012 at 12:38 pm
Keep the sausage juice in the condom otherwise you may have problems 9 months later
April 8, 2012 at 2:10 pm
You want to bake sausage using the condoms with the reservoir tips. That way when the sausage juice explodes from the sausage, it will still be contained.
April 8, 2012 at 1:35 pm
See, what you need is a sheepskin condom.
April 8, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Not a bahhhhhhd idea.
April 8, 2012 at 2:29 pm
And in some
small way–I mean large. Very large and impressive way, that is able to satisfy my necrophilia and bestiality fetishes at the same time! Actually using it to have sex is just a BONUS at that point! =DApril 8, 2012 at 10:11 am
I guess I can understand the whole “blood of the lamb” thing, but it doesn’t make this any less weird. Plus, I must add, A FOUNTAIN OF BLOOD MUST GUSH! No, not gush…spurt. Yeah, that’s a better word; really sells the whole decapitation thing.
April 8, 2012 at 10:11 am
not as great as the Armadillo in Steel Magnolias.
April 8, 2012 at 10:29 am
April 8, 2012 at 11:15 am
“It’s got gray icing, I can’t even begin to think how you make gray icing!”
April 8, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Thanks Weezer, I always wanted a nice piece of ass!
April 10, 2012 at 11:17 am
LOL I was going to post this! WIN.
April 8, 2012 at 10:13 am
Don’t forget your side of butter lamb! Double the metaphor means you’re extra pious!
Sidenote: I’m from Milwaukee, and there are a ton of Polish Americans here, many of which are Catholic, if that helps explain anything.
April 8, 2012 at 10:25 am
In Belgium it is tradition to have an ice cream lamb to celebrate your ‘confirmation of Faith’, the one who is celebrated has to cut off the head of the lamb, inside is a grenadine capsule that ‘bleeds’ :p
April 8, 2012 at 10:25 am
You know what would go good with this as the main course? Some of Carol’s duck…
April 8, 2012 at 10:26 am
I wonder if the seller also does cakes for red tent parties.
April 8, 2012 at 12:13 pm
The seller would need to figure out how to really get the blood gushing out of the cake for one of those. All the better to humiliate… *cough* I mean celebrate your daughter.
April 8, 2012 at 10:44 am
In addition to some gushing action, I think the cake itself should be red velvet. For authenticity! I don’t think I’d want a slice of lamb that had yellow meat. Come on, that would be gross.
April 8, 2012 at 10:50 am
I have the pan for that. I think it would be more fun with pistachio cake and grape jelly.
April 8, 2012 at 10:54 am
HOW CAN I CELEBRATE THE DEATH & RESURRECTION OF MY LORD WITHOUT MORE BLOOD IN THE LAMB CAKE? EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE BLOOD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS BROKEN. SOMEONE HELP ME.
April 8, 2012 at 11:06 am
My son is chief, advisor of kitchen…
And this is end of the birthday cake.
April 8, 2012 at 11:22 am
LOL aw, what did they do to poor Shaun?
April 8, 2012 at 11:29 am
April 8, 2012 at 2:10 pm
what a wonderfully creepy confection!
April 8, 2012 at 11:07 am
Wouldn’t a mature lamb be a sheep?
April 8, 2012 at 11:08 am
Could you use one of these cake molds to make a lamb meat loaf?
April 8, 2012 at 11:24 am
You could put surgical tubing in it’s neck attached to a squeeze bottle of ketchup under the table.
April 8, 2012 at 1:53 pm
“Ice” it with mashed potatoes?
April 8, 2012 at 11:21 am
I must say, I’m a little disappointed in this. It was a perfect chance to combine Easter and menstruation. Maybe an Easter/Red Tent party combo?
April 8, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Ewe might be on to something.
Probably a really good source of recreational pharma
April 9, 2012 at 6:02 am
I actually got my first period on one Easter. My Mother told my Grandmother and Aunts and they all congratulated me. I was MORTIFIED. I think the only thing that could have made that worse would be a Red Tent/Easter bleeding cake.
April 8, 2012 at 11:22 am
Just laying there like that, it would be easy to take this MF out. Ewe could beat it till it bleets through its eyes and then…. oh too much huh?
April 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm
This zombie-lamb cake with realistic decapitation action makes the ol’ gears crank. I wonder if there’s someone that makes something resembling a well-known creme egg candy, except with a marzipan chicken fetus inside? Am I the only one that thinks that’d just be the bee’s knees? Or am I just really, really high (on life, of course)?
April 8, 2012 at 2:13 pm
you could buy a chocolate mold and make your own, or ask a local owned chocolatier to do one. (We have a locally owned franchise of Schokolad that has hundreds and hundreds of molds, and does custom work)
I now want to commission one.
April 8, 2012 at 1:50 pm
…am I a horrible person if I think it would be kind of amusing to serve this cake to one of my friends who is a vegetarian?
April 8, 2012 at 2:35 pm
When you serve it, you have to plop it down on the table and ask, “WHAT NOW, BITCH?”
April 8, 2012 at 7:29 pm
Not horrible at all. As a vegetarian (and a cake lover), I’d get a kick out of it.
April 8, 2012 at 3:19 pm
stimulated yes bleeding no nice try though
April 8, 2012 at 5:45 pm
My sister makes a similar lamb cake every year for easter. This year it broke apart when it came out of the pan, so she made some raspberry cream filling to put between the broken layers, and then proceeded to give it x’s for eyes. Delicioussss
April 8, 2012 at 9:28 pm
I’m having a Lisa Simpson moment.
April 9, 2012 at 12:18 am
I make bloody decapitation cakes. Call 1-772-257-4501 to order. Will ship!
April 9, 2012 at 1:51 am
I love the taste of simulated bleeding in the morning.
April 9, 2012 at 9:21 am
My friends (who are both atheists) make a similar cake (including fake blood) every year. It is actually a morbid tradition that they’ve brought over from when the husband was a kid and a “good Christian”.
I find it rather funny!
April 10, 2012 at 6:32 am
…you had me at “Milwaukee”…
April 10, 2012 at 11:29 am
Uh oh!
Sorry, the item listing you are looking for does not exist.
Too late. and I actually live in Milwaukee, bummer.