HAPPY EASTER YOU FAT BASTARDS
it’s kind of cool, but disturbing. the lamb itself, not the fact that it bleeds.
It needs more blood.
Perhaps if they pressurized the jelly with nitrous cartridges…
…or red velvet cake.
Every sacrificial lamb, person, cake, vagina looking lamp should be red velvet.
Agreed. I wonder if you can get the blood in different flavors? It looks tasty.
I’d want it to gush blood more, not sure that jam is fooling anyone.
Nothing says “Easter” like a bloody lamb cake…..
Except maybe an actual bloody lamb.
My husband lost his shit. . . . but I don’t think it bleeds enough. >:[ MOAR BLOOD FOR THE REGRETSY GODS!
Rubbing this over the front door is messy, but still better than the real thing.
They made the lambs stop screaming.
I would have liked a story in the description. I’m paying money for a personalized item with a history, dammit!
Aw, it’s gone already. I was actually going to buy it and pick it up since I’m from Milwaukee.
He WANTS you to pick it up. How else can he kill you? You could still show up though. He probably has a huge bath tub and extra bags of lime.
It’s been nice knowing you. Can I have your house?
Did Jeffrey Dahmer have a son?
That’s kinda impossible if you only have male friends (whom you end up killing right after you meet them). You need at least one female friend willing to carry your turkey baster baby.
So wait, if he HADN’T killed them right after he met them, they would have had his babies?
EyeHeartSpiders: Have you seen the movie “Alien?” It’d be something like that, I imagine.
Ahh, this takes me back to Sunday School. (sadly, I’m not kidding)
My mom also has this cake mold, but it actually looks cute when she does it (minus the blood). In this case, the M&M eyes and nose are so akwardly positioned that it appears undead to me and I don’t mourn it’s decapitation.
My aunt has the mold and her creations look like some sort of hellspawn. I adore the woman but I don’t know how she can get it that creepy. It’s almost a talent, really.
I have two of that sort of mold- why yes, I did make one hazelnut and one almond lamb each this year. There were arguments over who go to decapitate it and who got the bottom…
Every year I forgot to get one of these (well, I wouldn’t get it from etsy, I mean from a bakery) but every damn year i forget.
I figure if the kids get to go through a candy induced whirlwind of craziness, I at least get to have a little fun at their expense with a bleeding cake for dessert.
Mark your calender for next year. Stop neglecting the children!
Not gonna lie, this looks pretty delicious right now, except for the whole “food on Etsy” part. I guess the “pickup” part would ameliorate that somewhat, though, as you can make sure it’s not covered in cat hair before you take it home.
I agree, though, needs more blood. The blood is the tastiest part!
it’s so lovely and creamy and yummy!
Hannibal Lector Fuck The World!
Mary had a little lamb
With icing white as snow
Then she cut that fucker’s head off
To watch the bloodbath show….
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.
And thanks to Mary’s sharp sharp knife,
The lamp will flow and flow.
Gives a new meaning to shoving religion down someone’s throat.
Wait, is it kosher? I need to know before I can make a decision on this.
Considering the facts that it’s Passover and that the cake looks leavened, Imma go with no.
I wonder if she can make a zombie Jesus cake. They’re so hard to find…
Jesus, Arthas… Tomato, tomahto.
I just had this conversation last night. It’s a revelation!
I’m staying the fuck out of Lichtenstein.
Yes, but liches are evil. Jesus uses holy/light/positive energy magic. He’s probably a baelnorn.
Not gonna lie. This made me Lol.
The “blood” is supposed to be put into a condom and baked into the cake, so that it goes SPLOOSH all over the table when the throat is cut. Sheeesh, people!
Ewe! Ever taste baked condom? Not really good with yellow cake.
I see what you did there.
OldPhatMc…Part of me (not saying which) wants to know how you know, but I won’t ask ….
I really wanted to ask also, but I’m afraid of the answer!
OH NanaB! How I’ve missed parts of you !!!
Actually it was a baking mishap involving a latex glove. Which is analagous. Except for the lubricant. And the “ribs for her pleasure”.
Wait, they make unribbed gloves?
I always bake sausages in condoms, it keeps the oven clean.
Actually I read they keep the oven clean right on the box.
You have to use the cheap condoms that already have holes in them or they pop and splatter the inside of the oven with sausage juice.
That was also on the box.
My knowledge of biology may be a bit rusty…. But doesn’t having a hole in it defeat the very purpose of a condom?
The only ones I’ve ever known of that had holes in them were… used.
Please, please, please let me be wrong.
Keep the sausage juice in the condom otherwise you may have problems 9 months later
You want to bake sausage using the condoms with the reservoir tips. That way when the sausage juice explodes from the sausage, it will still be contained.
See, what you need is a sheepskin condom.
Not a bahhhhhhd idea.
And in some small way–I mean large. Very large and impressive way, that is able to satisfy my necrophilia and bestiality fetishes at the same time! Actually using it to have sex is just a BONUS at that point! =D
I guess I can understand the whole “blood of the lamb” thing, but it doesn’t make this any less weird. Plus, I must add, A FOUNTAIN OF BLOOD MUST GUSH! No, not gush…spurt. Yeah, that’s a better word; really sells the whole decapitation thing.
not as great as the Armadillo in Steel Magnolias.
“It’s got gray icing, I can’t even begin to think how you make gray icing!”
Thanks Weezer, I always wanted a nice piece of ass!
LOL I was going to post this! WIN.
Don’t forget your side of butter lamb! Double the metaphor means you’re extra pious!
Sidenote: I’m from Milwaukee, and there are a ton of Polish Americans here, many of which are Catholic, if that helps explain anything.
In Belgium it is tradition to have an ice cream lamb to celebrate your ‘confirmation of Faith’, the one who is celebrated has to cut off the head of the lamb, inside is a grenadine capsule that ‘bleeds’ :p
You know what would go good with this as the main course? Some of Carol’s duck…
I wonder if the seller also does cakes for red tent parties.
The seller would need to figure out how to really get the blood gushing out of the cake for one of those. All the better to humiliate… *cough* I mean celebrate your daughter.
In addition to some gushing action, I think the cake itself should be red velvet. For authenticity! I don’t think I’d want a slice of lamb that had yellow meat. Come on, that would be gross.
I have the pan for that. I think it would be more fun with pistachio cake and grape jelly.
HOW CAN I CELEBRATE THE DEATH & RESURRECTION OF MY LORD WITHOUT MORE BLOOD IN THE LAMB CAKE? EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE BLOOD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS BROKEN. SOMEONE HELP ME.
My son is chief, advisor of kitchen… And this is end of the birthday cake.
LOL aw, what did they do to poor Shaun?
what a wonderfully creepy confection!
Wouldn’t a mature lamb be a sheep?
Could you use one of these cake molds to make a lamb meat loaf?
You could put surgical tubing in it’s neck attached to a squeeze bottle of ketchup under the table.
“Ice” it with mashed potatoes?
I must say, I’m a little disappointed in this. It was a perfect chance to combine Easter and menstruation. Maybe an Easter/Red Tent party combo?
Ewe might be on to something.
Probably a really good source of recreational pharma
I actually got my first period on one Easter. My Mother told my Grandmother and Aunts and they all congratulated me. I was MORTIFIED. I think the only thing that could have made that worse would be a Red Tent/Easter bleeding cake.
Just laying there like that, it would be easy to take this MF out. Ewe could beat it till it bleets through its eyes and then…. oh too much huh?
This zombie-lamb cake with realistic decapitation action makes the ol’ gears crank. I wonder if there’s someone that makes something resembling a well-known creme egg candy, except with a marzipan chicken fetus inside? Am I the only one that thinks that’d just be the bee’s knees? Or am I just really, really high (on life, of course)?
you could buy a chocolate mold and make your own, or ask a local owned chocolatier to do one. (We have a locally owned franchise of Schokolad that has hundreds and hundreds of molds, and does custom work)
I now want to commission one.
…am I a horrible person if I think it would be kind of amusing to serve this cake to one of my friends who is a vegetarian?
When you serve it, you have to plop it down on the table and ask, “WHAT NOW, BITCH?”
Not horrible at all. As a vegetarian (and a cake lover), I’d get a kick out of it.
stimulated yes bleeding no nice try though
My sister makes a similar lamb cake every year for easter. This year it broke apart when it came out of the pan, so she made some raspberry cream filling to put between the broken layers, and then proceeded to give it x’s for eyes. Delicioussss
I’m having a Lisa Simpson moment.
I make bloody decapitation cakes. Call 1-772-257-4501 to order. Will ship!
I love the taste of simulated bleeding in the morning.
My friends (who are both atheists) make a similar cake (including fake blood) every year. It is actually a morbid tradition that they’ve brought over from when the husband was a kid and a “good Christian”.
I find it rather funny!
…you had me at “Milwaukee”…
Sorry, the item listing you are looking for does not exist.
Too late. and I actually live in Milwaukee, bummer.
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