This post first appeared on Regretsy on April 13, 2011
I’m thinkin Arby’s.
im thinkin tuesday special’s from heaven666.org – larger than my average sized penis by the porportions of it too.
Odd, with the dance majors I know, the third hand is going the other direction.
I was going to say, why is a hand reaching out of her cooter?
Why is a hand reaching OUT of her cooter??
When I first saw these I didn’t notice the problem.
After a while I’m like, wtf, it’s just ballerinas…but then I saw the crotch and about jumped out of my skin.
Er, it looks like someone is trying to…get out of there?
Is that supposed to be a ribbon gone terribly wrong?
I think it’s that she’s at an angle, sort of facing away from the viewer (hard to describe) so her arm is behind her torso and her hand appears to be coming out of her cooch.
A graceful picture I’m sure, just not in silhouette.
Oh, scratch that, the cooch-hand is the arm in front of her torso…she’s doing a sort of flying bird pose.
…I was wondering why the foreshortening on the visible arm was so flipper-arm-esque.
You guys are putting WAY too damned much thought into this.
A hand is coming out of her cooter.
The seller is stupid for not catching it.
A good laugh is had by all.
I know, not trying to ruin it, just figure out what the fuck the seller was thinking.
This is why me need a Momma Beebs around.
“Where’s the crapper? I’ve got a turtle head poking out!”
The first one is a silhouette in which the right hand falls in an unfortunate place – the snatch. Because it’s a black, two-dimensional image, it’s unclear where her hand actually is, and thus was turned into a funny regretsy full of LOLs. I do suppose having a snatch-hand might come in handy, no?
I was going to say it looks like the pose was likely taken from a shot where the ballerina is being steadied by a male partner and that’s HIS hand that didn’t get cropped out. The wrist and up looks too thick to be one of hers and seems more like a hand coming from a sleeve.
Still…. cooter-hand is mildly disturbing. What is it supposed to do, provide extra lift? Grasp the hand of anyone trying to lift her for greater stability?
I think it was designed to slap Mikhail Baryshnikov in the face.
No, it’s her hand.
The pose is like this, only from a different angle (side instead of front):
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Okay, the first one makes sense. But that doesn’t explain the other silhouettes.
The other ones have the hand added, purely for comedic effect.
They say a joke isn’t funny if you have to explain it.
Fortunately, I didn’t need it explained.
But thank you anyway.
You should see the prairie dog with the ballerina coming out of its ass!
I’ve heard of Jazz Hands, but never Ballet Hands.
I learn something new every day here, whether or not I want to.
It’s like the Kung Fu grip. But like +1 more.
Seriously, if someone or something reached out to grab me from betwixt their hamflaps, I’d just give up whatever they were after right then and there.
Hmm, they may want to see if their doctor can prescribe something for that!
As a person with uterine prolapse, I am highly offended.
Whoops, forgot to close my /sarcasm tags.
Your offense is offensive to me!
Stop bullying me!
Up with Uterine Prolapse!!!
Up with Uterine Prolapse?
Isn’t that the senior citizen version of Up with People?
You don’t have to be a senior citizen to have it, you young whippersnapper!
As a person under 65, I am offended by your assumption that I am a senior citizen.
(Don’t thumb this up; it will only encourage me.)
I’m offended at your bossy attitude – telling me NOT to thumb you up!
*thumbs you up*
That would certainly fix the problem.
New Band Name!!! “Uterine Prolapse”
This is what my mom says I will have in x number of years after “running on hard surfaces” because women never ran on hard surfaces before in evolution because the world is made out of sponge cake and women walked around on their hands and carried babies with their feet
sometimes you make me laugh so hard that i cry.
Is this the new Vagina Dentata?
you can get a hand job and a home run all at the same time. I’m going to pay somehow for that.
You’ll probably pay double for that.
What a wonderful phrase!
It ain’t no passin’ craaaaaaze!
It means no worries! For the rest of your days…
I like the idea that these ballerinas’ labia can create their own applause. LOL… Or, their tampons are trailing… .
(If it weren’t for that, then I’d say they’d be pretty cool… unless you believe in ghosts… then it’s shadow people).
Geek Alert: It’s never been proved that ghosts and shadow people are the same thing. In fact, I’ve never heard them compared to each other.
I know someone who had experiences with shadow people when she was young and “he” never dressed in a tutu…at least not around her.
Even bigger Geek Alert: It’s never been proven that ghosts or shadow people even exist. :3
(I couldn’t help myself.)
I’ll give you that ghosts have never been proven to be the spirits of deceased people OR, really, proven to be anything specifically. There have been many theories, including
I am that young girl that I referenced and I saw one shadow person at least twice, in two different locations. And I saw something else, with much more definition to it, a few years later. Didn’t faze me at the time and I didn’t feel any fear.
Many theories including energy stored in the building.
Yeah, I shouldn’t have started that sentence.
-I found my car keys, now let me outta here!
-Masturbation has never been so convenient.
-She can slap people who get too fresh with ease.
-What exactly do you call the female version of pocket pool?
-…doing that crazy hand jive…
-So exactly what would happen if you asked her for a hand job?
-Hey girls! Let’s go to the salon and get Mani-Labis!
Creatures from the pink lagoon.
you forgot one
Funny…from the front she doesn’t LOOK pregnant.
So does the Ballet Hand™ work for cloacas too? Because this goddamn dinosaur needs one. For, uh, stuff. Yeah, stuff…
If the seller of the 4th photograph has no scruples, that’s getting slapped with “Thomas Kinkade” or “Painter of Light” tags quicker than hot glue dries on crap glued to other crap.
When I heard that he’d died, my first thought was to wonder if there will be any TragiCrafting™ or if that will just be redundant.
You ever hear that Thomas Kincade once got arrested at Disney World, drunk, for peeing on a Winnie the Pooh statue? (source: NPR’s “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me”) Anytime I see some “inspirational” piece-o-crap with his name stamped on it, that’s all I can think about. I never heard he died…I hope A. A. Milne was waiting for him to kick his ass.
Ooh, I forgot about that story (and I’m a WWDTM fan).
60 Minutes once did a profile on him and one couple who had DOZENS of his works on every freaking wall of their house. Figure they’d spent at least $200K. The upside was that he didn’t paint most of the stuff—people in his stable of painters did and those sold for the lowest price ($10K). If you wanted a “real” painting, he’d swipe a few brush strokes over a finished work and, wah lah, it was then it sold for at least 5x.
I think several of his galleries were shut down for fraud–that the paintings being sold were not done by him, although priced as if they were.
Kincade was kind of a local where I live, and not exactly a “favorite son.” Basically, local news said this morning that he was dead, showed about a minute from the “60 Minutes” interview, and then dropped the subject.
Did they show his painted casket? I don’t know if there was one, but I wouldn’t be surprised.
I wonder if all his daughters went goth and Satanic just to cleanse themselves of his fuckery (but using the money to buy the very best goth and Satanic accoutrements).
I know hte hand in the second pic is photoshopped in, but does her nose look like a beak to anyone else?
Is she a cousin of yours?
Possibly a long lost relative. Except, well, I don’t have a hand coming OUT of my vagoo. Had plenty going the other direction though.
Does Depends make a dance belt?
You’re all thinking too hard about this. It is perfectly clear that these dancers are from the Trocks – Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo. I clearly recognise Sonia Leftova in the third silhouette.
So am I to understand that NOBODY else has a vagina that is (seemingly at random) naturally refilled time and time again with ribbons and glitter and confettii like one of those party poppers? And that it occasionally bursts out of them? No? No one? And the idea of such a thing is odd to all of you??
I see… Well. This is a rather awkward.
Yes there is someone. Her name is Kelle Hampton.
Hey, April, random story time. At the Passover seder last night, my family got into this deep discussion about some puppet named Jerry Mahoney and Paul Winchell — which is, of course, the topic of every seder table. I’m way too young to recognize the name of some random puppet (*flips hair*), but I got so excited at the last name that I busted out with “his daughter does voice over work and runs my favorite website!” and everyone looked at me like I had grown two heads.
I know, I know, cool story, bro.
Was Tigger mentioned? Tigger should have been mentioned. And the Tootsie Roll owl. Him, as well. And a few hundred others, but there’s a limit to how many characters I can mention use here.
That would actually come in handy (see what I did there) for her off-hours doing bar tricks for cash. Who cares about tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue when she can pick up your car keys off the floor with two hands on the table.
I’ve seen this before, didn’t dancing dror have one of these in his bedroom? I miss him, he’s not on here anymore..
I think that Bronc had PhotoShopped her into his bedroom.
I know, I miss him too.
He’s over on Facebook, but it’s not the same.
basic selling 101
1. learning how to take a second look at your product before you sell it.
2. how to tell the difference between intended buyers and WTF buyers
Is she a male sugar glider?
Isn’t that heart bed a trap-your-head-and-die safety hazard? It’s obviously enclosed for a young toddler. I guess it’s a small and only kinda likely price to pay to remind yourself every day that your child is, in fact, a girl.
I’d honestly buy the decal in the second (first ‘shopped) picture, if it really came with the extra hand. It could be fun to brag about how you got it for a huge discount, and when guests try to point out why it was marked down so much, you could pretend to have no idea what they’re talking about.
Thattakes third position to a whole other level.
It’s a good thing the demi client can see this firsthand.
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