-Submitted by Ashley Sue
It’s like sad and useless had a baby.
Oh, I dunno, I think it’d be a cute, cheap way to add color if you don’t like always moving pillows off of things when you actually want to use them.
But for 32 euros she better be sending enough to cover the legs of every chair in my house.
I’d be happy just getting a set of four — that matched. I mean, for $43 what the heck?
I guess she ran out of red yarn.
Oh, darn, I’m SOL.
“Quirky” is a hot commodity these days (ugh).
My bloke’s mum says I’m “quirky with interesting ideas”…
…I *eventually* took it as a compliment.
Hey, at least she didn’t say “unique.”
I’ve reclaimed quirky, so they’re all using it wrong.
That listing clearly doesn’t involve narrating your day in song, which is just basic quirkiness.
My first thought was, “If she did 3 purple and 1 pink, she could sell them as Advent cozies for the Catholic furniture in your home.”
My second thought was, “Cat Toys!”
It must be the “quirk factor” of adding in a pink one that justifies charging so much. Must be.
Before today, I never realized how interchangeable the words “quirky” and “unprofessional” were.
My feline shredders would have those over-priced useless things shredded in short order. Yeah and a matching set would be better – not quirky – but better.
These were obviously made after looking at 1 yard of yarn and wondering how to not waste it…
In my house, these would be more chair “diapers” than leg warmers. I have a marginally housebroken male Maltese that would look at these as target practice…
Somewhere in that statement is an Etsy niche market.
From my favorite 80s classic “The Breakfast Nook Club”.
And then made popular when the graced the legs of that chair in Flash Dance.
And you can’t forget that performance in St. Elmo’s Fiber. Breathtaking.
*stands and gives FitToDERP an ovation*
Mugsy is giving me an ovation?! Oh God.
*bows* I am honored.
Aw, stop, you’re making me blush!
I had to acknowledge how much I really appreciated your wit.
These will be great for my dining room chairs. They always get easily chilled in the winter.
This person needs a job…
No, like, a REAL job.
This is like the middle school violin student practicing his squeaky scales in the subway station with the case open.
Except he’s not asking for a day’s take-home pay of a liberal arts major.
That wouldn’t be a bad idea if the “sock” covered the bottom of the legs to protect your floor.
Now that you mention it, I might just DO that for a piano stool I have. But you see, there’s a practical reason for making them, and I’m not paying some douchecanoe $10 euros each to do a crappy job on them, and….
Doncha’ mean DouchesLaines?
Jane Fonda’s latest craze – Chairobics!
And one and two and fluff that cushion!
I’d buy sad & useless’s baby chair leg warmers if they could make me do what Jane Fonda’s doing in that picture.
But only on certain special occasions, of course.
My gran watches Chairobics. It’s a creepy old lady going on about how you can still get fit!! while sitting down!!
It’s just as creepy as it sounds.
Pah. If this knitter wanted to have sure-fire hipster appeal, they would’ve gone for that lesser-known stirrup legwarmer model. Hipsters just love things like the world’s most reviled form of pants.
Any chance they’ll all be the same color of red?
You’re new here, aren’t you?
My optimism is draining as quickly as my wine glass.
Plenty of wine left in the box. Well there was a minute ago. Sorry.
My thought process up on seeing these:
Oh, that’s sort of cute, they keep your floors from getting scuffed–oh wait, no. They don’t.
Well, they’re sort of a fun cheap way to add a splash of color–oh wait, no. They might LOOK cheap, but they’re almost $45 (plus shipping).
Well, they–oh wait, no. Just no.
that was the exact progression my mind went through
My brain started off at:
Huh… that’s got to be the most accurate title for a post ever. It’s not even ironic… just accurate. I don’t even know how to feel about that.
And after reading the item description I ended up at:
“Yarnbombing in your house”? Seriously? Do you even know the point of yarnbombing, seller? -_-’
As a clumsy person in a small, furniture-filled Brooklyn apartment who usually goes around barefoot, my thought process was:
Hey! If I had these (and pulled them down to floor-level), the next time my toes bang into a furniture leg it won’t be so painful.
But, they’re badly made and overpriced. I could crochet something better OH GOOD GOD, WHAT AM I SAYING. Just buy more Arnica gel.
i thought that too, but then i thought i could just wear socks that dont match.
If I use enough exclamations I can up the price….right? Right?? Or is that related to the inverse ratio to the useless quadrant?
Yeah, exclamation points add extra. And extra spaces BEFORE the exclamation points apparently add even MORE.
Thank goodness she didn’t throw in a 1 with her exclamation points—!!!1!—I could never afford that.
She also has a listing for just one chair leg sock:
It’s actually WAY more steampunk if only one of your chair legs is wearing a sock.
I think just the one sock, on the left front, means they are BUYING pot…
When it’s on the right back, it means they’re submissive and want to be sat on and treated like they were human. Reverse objectification.
So… 10 Euros for about 10 minutes of knitting, really this is the only way I’ve seen anyone make hand-knitting pay a living wage, but for this? If they’re actually making sales I think I shall need to start breaking things.
A living wage would be one thing, but a Euro per minute? That’s beyond the minimum wage I try to factor in and straight into “Big Yarn executive” territory.
I think they’re just screwing with us now…
Much of my furniture is older, and their circulation and activity levels are not what they used to be. I’m glad to be able to make sure their little wooden appendages are warm and cozy, and that WTF NEXT THERE WILL BE SNUGGIES FOR COUCHES.
How about couch sweaters?
which is actually pretty flippn’ cool
That’s actually pretty amazing, and probably worth the price considering the work & time & materials that went into making it. I’d have to murder anyone who snagged it though . . .
That chair cover is badass, and not much more expensive than a professional upholstery job, but my cats would destroy it with extreme prejudice.
Indeed, I really like that. It’s too bad that my cat would destroy it with a combination of claws and extreme shedding.
It’s like Bill Cosby camouflage. I dippity boopity like it!
Thanks a lot! My SO saw that, and now he wants me to make one!
***It is pretty cool. But those bobbles do not look comfortable to sit on!
They may not look comfortable to sit on, but they do look like they could be be fun.
Love that… And her chunky knit stool leg warmers are only $12 for 4 and they cover the bottom of the legs to prevent scuffing. My snobby disdain against chair leg warmers has slipped a notch after seeing hers.
I’d buy an entirely-knitted chair… That sounds really comfy. I bet my cat would steal it more than she steals my other chairs though.
I first read that as Snuggies for Couchies and snorted.
I’m opening an etsy store to sell sofa support hosiery if you’re interested.
I wish she’d just market these as what they really are: Penis warmers.
Does what glingers can do for the less fortunate male.
Furniture abuse! If they hadn’t distressed that poor chair so much, it wouldn’t need the warm knitted comfort on its bare legs.
OK, who the fuck is Crochet Guevara and what have you done with Helen and Bronc? If you have them tied up and naked in a cellar while honey is being dripped on them, I demand you post pictures, NOW!
Post pictures? Shit – send directions!!!!
I’ll bring the nachos!
Oh, thank goodness! I have been looking EVERYWHERE for leg warmers for my chairs. All winter they were just, so, cold.
I wonder if she will take more money for them. She is not charging nearly enough.
I think these are actually supposed to keep the liquid contents of the chair cold – so its doesn’t get all warm and gross in rooms that get a lot of sun.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Sarcasm. ^ up there. Can’t you smell it?
I don’t see how I could possibly do better than “It’s like sad and useless had a baby.”.
This is all well and good, but am I just supposed to ignore the needs of my rocking chair? Won’t somebody please think of the rocking chairs?
If they were a little longer they would protect my chair legs from cat pee attacks. No. They would INVITE cat pee attacks. Never mind!
My cat would also molest the hell out of those. I could stuff catnip in them and call them cat toys, no?
Fucking hipster chairs.
Is it the vintage/weathered/worn-paint finish/antique wood that makes them hipster? Or the mix-matched “yarn-bombed” leg cozies that do it? I can’t decide…
I think it’s the idea that leg warmers are still- or were ever- fashionable.
Q: “Is it the vintage/weathered/worn-paint finish/antique wood that makes them hipster? Or the mix-matched “yarn-bombed” leg cozies that do it?”
UGH. This is stupid, everyone knows legwarmers need to be slouchy.
I’m a knitter and overly OCD about it.
It’s not even so much that these are cozies for furniture (which is a whole other story of useless), it’s that if you want $43 dollars for them, the stitches at least better be even and the edges straight.
Perhaps I’m being too harsh.
Her HATS FOR EGGS look pretty splendid.
But that egg looks very sad, like a child forced to wear something that Granny made so Mom can take a photo and show Granny how adorable the child looks, even though the child isn’t smiling. That only encourages Granny to make more hideous things, year after year, until there is an entire photo album of photos of sad child wearing hideous outfits and then one day the sad child revolts and becomes a hipster who chooses to wear clothes that are even MORE hideous, but they’re designer clothes, so that makes a difference.
Yeah, looking at the close-ups, I’m thinking that even *I* could do better than that. And I’ve only ever knitted a couple of scarves and a simple afghan.
Were I the unfortunate hipster that made these I would take the photo from 10 feet away and make sure it’s out of focus. Those stitches, my 5 year old *bratz* sister could do a better job.
Damn. I’m a knitting knovice (I can’t even purl), and I’m pretty sure I can do better than that.
but… it’s “yarnbombing”
Handmade/crafts etc, does not automagically mean poorly made/finished and overpriced but unfortunately a lot of people seem to manage to make it look that way to people who would be potential buyers.
They look like the useless tube knits I made as a kid on looms like these:
I wish I had known back then that I could have sold them as chair leg warmers at over $10 a pop!
Would rocking chairs require furniture leg corsets?
I shudder to think I’ve planted an idea in tiny hipster brains.
Glue gears and some goggles on ‘em for instant steampunk furniture!
Now I want a steampunk rockin chair to knit in.
and they could double as dick coozies.
My cat will be thrilled. Lifetime replacements, right?
That cat looks so startled.
Smoky dealt with the stress of being a perfect cat to his owners by sneaking into the dance studio, putting on striped leg warmers, and performing interpretive dances to Olivia Newton John songs. It was the only way he could get through the day.
Then, on that fateful day, he discovered the hidden video camera on the shelf and his secret was out.
Umm I hate to admit this but I actually bought a set of cat legwarmers on etsy a year or two ago.
They did come in handy later as a way to keep my cat from chewing off his bandage (and his skin) after he’d chewed a wound into his leg because of his allergies. He also has pajamas for the same reason.
(his allergies are also why his tag says “do not feed rx diet only”)
Why can’t they look more like penises? It may be worth the money then?
You know what? I hate this. I’m not even that late to the party and already it’s gone. I <3 checking out the rest of these people's stores. It's my weekly dose of fun to check out all their other products. But no, an hour late and it's already gone and I can't figure out how to find their stores. Super sad face.
It’s not as if we trashed her work completely. We said nice things about knitted chair cover!
That chair cover was another seller’s, Mugsy.
Right you are, Rushgirl2112! Thanks for pointing that out. (I should have questioned why she could do something as awesome as the chair cover and then something as awful as the chair leg warmers)
OK, so I guess we didn’t say anything nice about her work, except for the egg hats…and even then it was faint praise.
This comment is the only thing better than ‘It’s like sad and useless had a baby.’ It’s just beautiful and so, so perfect for Regretsy.
Exactly. Who wouldn’t want to see 1000 visits to their item and a few hundred views of their Etsy shop? It pretty much always results in some sales. That’s just foolishness and having no sense of humor, I say. Unless you only have a shop to show your friends what you’ve made, rather than to sell things.
She had a sudden urge to vacate the premises:
“The owner of DoucesLaines is on vacation.
DoucesLaines’ shop will be closed for some time. Please feel free to write any email. I will answer you as soon as possible. Thanks for your understanding.”
I feel like this needs to be in a Merry Melodies cartoon.
It would be the perfect anthropomorphic catalyst for my half-drunken night time activities. IT’S GOT’S THE STYLE!
Why do sellers take their stuff down after being featured on etsy? The last unanswered question of the universe.
I feel better about myself knowing I’m not crazy, well not “that” crazy.
You forgot the ‘Regr-’ there…
Damn, she pulled it. I wanted to see her other stuff. And we weren’t even that mean!
Oh Friday evening, its time for wine. If she wants to come over and cover both my legs and my chairs legs with yarn bombs, have at it. But she isn’t getting anywhere near my paypal account unless she shows up with lots of wine.
That is all.
Someone knitted some GLINGERS, tried to sell them. Failed. Got ridiculed on Regretsy.
Then had a “multipurpose” moment! AHA! CHAIR WARMERS!
Thank you! I thought these looked familiar…
I would like to make a set of these and slip them on a chair at someone else’s house while they aren’t looking.
Yarnbombing on a small scale…perfect!
I have a sudden irrational desire to yarnbomb Republican politicians with these – legs, furniture, microphones, stickshifts, handguns, sex toys &&&&&&
Oh god, I want a knitted cozy for that flying dildo that crashed a Russian press conference a few years ago. Of course, I’d need my own RC flying dildo first, but…
I SAW THAT! Hoo, hilarious!
Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.
If I need a guaranteed way to get my cat to scratch the crap out of my chair legs, these would be it. Maybe if she could knit in some pockets of catnip while she’s at it, to give the poor chair a swift death.
That’s not even close to yarnbombing. That’s yarnfarting.
If they were on a library computer chair, then it’d be yarnbombing. As it is, I kind of want to make similar for the chairs in my kitchen, but I want to close off the ends to protect the tile. If you’re gonna make chair socks, make ‘em all the way or not at all!
Hey, an excuse to post this:
Stupid preview, deceiving me into thinking I could embed a video here.
Oh. My. Maude. What were my eyeballs just assaulted with?
I thought, before scrolling down the picture, that they were going to be little socks to keep the chair from making hideous dragging sounds across the floor. That would at least have had a market amongst the old folks, methinks.
But this…well, this is just a waste of good yarn.
I thought that the seller’s shop was douches not douces. I think douches was a bit more fitting
Yes, sometimes my chairs DO run around the room dancing to 80′s music. That does not mean they need leg-warmers: it just means I’m abusing my cough syrup again.
She’s not fooling me. I know “glingers” when I see them!
I was going to say “C’mon, it’s obviously one of those April Fool’s bogus listings; look at the price. Nobody’s going to pay that!” until she pulled the listing.
Now I am disappointed in humanity for the first time in 10 minutes, and that’s because I took my dogs outside to play for a bit.
Chairchez la Femme
Until recently I did not realize we were permitted to post pornography here, so this sort of image is still a bit shocking to me.
Some furniture needs to be stripped.
but…but… they’re like glingers for chairs! How can that be useless?
Did anybody else notice the egg cozy for $20?? It looks like a tampon.
Are you a chicken? Do you need a tampon? Well, we have the product for you!
I see sperm…
…and I prefer my tampons with less chunk.
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