I love the Graphics Fairy! She has amazing stuff. Using one of her graphics to decorate a lampshade right now!
http://www.google.com/images ZOMG You guys! I’m rich! Pay me for that link!
I almost have to flounce from Regretsy just because these Compare & Save posts make me so damn irate at etsy fakers.
Compare & Save are some of my favorite posts, just because I love a good, old-fashioned Call Out.
I like them because if I actually like the stuff, I’d much rather know the cheap place to buy…lol!
No shit…I want that ring so bad I can barely stand myself. My birthstone, too!
Compare and Saves scare me, because I would have easily been suckered for a vintage aquamarine ring. Not my birthstone, but it is my engagement ring.
Aye, it’s a reminder as a lapsed crafter that actually making good stuff requires effort, and that raw materials need to be *turned into* something good, or sold as supplies.
Also, serious search terms query. When I stopped making stuff a few years ago vintage and antique meant that things were original, and antique or vintage *style* meant modern interpretations. Are there new words for genuinely old items that I don’t know about?
You know the term “junk”? Then you’re covered for at least half the “antique” and “vintage” on Etsy.
Words for genuinely old items = Not on Etsy.
Ta Mapleleaves and Steampunk Octopus, I needed the reality check. A thumb apiece for your sane observations!
I know what you mean, it makes me so angry that these people actually have the balls to try to pass things off as “handmade” or “vintage” when a simple search will show how full of shit they are.
I am thinking the wall decals are actually from the same seller, just jacked up the price on Etsy. “Danette” vs “Dani”, both in Florida, very big overlap in inventory.
Still, goes to show what a rip-off etsy can be, if they feel they can mark it up so high!
Does anyone else use these to go and report the shitty Etsy re-sellers? Not that I think it’ll do any good but it let’s me release my passive-agressive side.
If no one buys that poem he’s going to turn it into rolling papers.
And then he’ll write a poem about doing that.
I bet that one will be worth at least $800.
Next Next Ascent
let this cannabis
let it be some
true chronic that
I can smoke to
on my balcony
Please make no
record of this
take no pictures
I’ve got enough trouble
as it is
in this shitty town
I’d do that in calligraphy and hang it on my wall. No lie.
*If I could do good calligraphy.
You should contact Dani/Danette to see if she can make that into a wall decal.
You’re pretty blunt, aren’t you?
I’ll end this on a high note.
Poke this conversation with a fork, its baked.
“ripped from the pages of one of my moleskins”
Sounds like the cable TV synopsis from an old episode of “Law and Order”.
Moleskines are notebooks.
Moleskins are heavy cotton trousers.
Mole skins are… Ick.
Mole skins are at least useful… for moleskins. And, you know, the mole.
Unless you meant the other kind of mole? That’s just nasty!
He had to rip that out of one of his own moleskins? The pages just fall right out of mine without any help. I guess he got a bad one…
I don’t think I understand the idea of selling poetry on Etsy. I just read it for free. And could write it out in better handwriting with my left hand.
Give it a day or two and there’ll be some butthurt in the etsy forums we can point and laugh at.
What does that second part say? “Pless (please?) make no record of the take us pictures”??? SAY WHAT?!
It’s meaningless drivel in the middle of a page of meaningless drivel. Surprised much?
(Glad it wasn’t just me who spend ages trying to decode the awful handwriting in order to conclude that it made no sense)
I was a little off-put originally because it started out making a little bit of sense. Oh, me. I always forget to consider my source.
I think that “us” is really “no” making it “Pless make no record of the take no pictures”… which is… transcendent!
Pretty sure it’s “make no record of this,” but yeah, still pretty much drivel. And I don’t know what to make of “pless” nor “veiw.” I also initially read “fade” (a couple lines down) as a rather rude word, though I think that may be the influence of my fellow FJLs…
I read through the Ascent poem, enjoying the funeral dirge sort of cadence of it, but when I got to the shopping list I found I was stuck in that cadence. Groceries can sound surprisingly somber when read like a poem about Poe’s dying love.
She was a child, and I was a child,
In a Safeway by the sea…
I agonized over how that line went, and I got it wrong.
I was a child, and she was a child,
In a Safeway by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love,
I and my Sara Lee.
A love that the winged chickens from aisle 7
Coveted her and me.
I love it! But, really, who doesn’t love Sara Lee? (You, I like.)
I don’t know about love, but nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee.
Alas my love is unrequited,
lost and longing, blue, pathetic.
Go from me, you saucy temptress
You, my dear, are awesome.
My love of etsy has begun to sour and turn into a deep burning hate. The more posts like this that I read the more my hatred grows and grows. stupid fucking hipsters.
Thank you Regretsy!
(ps: I’m serious as a heart attack. No flouncing here.)
btw, after I posted this I closed my etsy shop. (granted I had one item. i still closed it.)
I wonder if in the Next Ascent he’ll know how to spell “view”? Just a thought.
Or “Moleskine”? Unless he writes his “poems” on these:
Well played, Miss Chardin, well played.
Well, sure. His blisters appreciate his work more than we do.
Hey, that stuff is great on the bottom of a Wacom mouse.
Could also be moleskin pants. I am fond of moleskin pants.
I’m surprised nobody has reported these dipshits yet. Or would that go against Etsy’s ass-kissing nature?
Not only does it go against the cupcake fairy code of conduct, it could get you perma-muted if you do it on the forums. If you just send in a silent report via the report button they’ll ignore it, like they do for every reseller ever.
Yet another reason to stick with WePay. Less painful stupidity, better customer service.
HAHA! “wipes” and “orange drink” made me chuckle.
But what’s “Misty food”?
It’s POETRY, you’re SUPPOSED to jam random words together that make no sense. That’s what makes it ART. Augh. Philistine.
Here’s a Plum original:
Open up the weeping tree
And peer inside our sadness
The misty food of the Gods
Will never fill our souls
We’re out of orange drink
BING BANG BOOM THATS HOW POEMS ARE MADE.
Wait – that is only half the poem. I found the other half:
Let this suffering…..I mean stuffing
Be fleeting…………like my buzz.
Let it be a super……delicious munchie, a
Nom moment that……..I can snack on for ever
I can view from……..here straight up your shorts, bro
Transcendence……….was that the name of this herb?
From the transition….wait, what?
Please make no………I mean uno – dude I love playing uno
Record of the……….year totally should been Holocene
Take no pictures…….of me holding this bong
Let the experience…..aww yeah, play that Hendrix song
Fade and watch………is that a double rainbow
Me…………………i;m so fuckin’ high right now
On the next ascent…..you bring the pizza.
I actually quite like a lot of these things, but am pissed off at people passing them off as their own, handmade work.
Sorry, no funny today.
I really like the “teardrop pendant” thing. It’s amazing how well the artist imitated machine-stampted metal in the hand-made piece.
Oops, I think I misspelled that.
There we go. Much better.
So the difference between “estate” and “tribal” is $49.01. That’s really good to know.
I’m amazed that the lion ring wasn’t also tagged “Lannister”
Do you watch the show? I’m sooooo excited for this Sunday!
oy vey, you forgot the poet, there’s fifty thousand dollar [$50,000] painting:
actually, he’s got a couple of them. & you can get an abstract from him half price.
[i know it doesnt fit the theme but the grandeur of his pathological aggrandizement amazed me.]
I bet Picasso is rolling in his grave. I hope a yeti finds that dude and eats him.
Any yeti that ate that “artiste” would have an epic case of indigestion and the runs afterwards.
Annnnnd if he shat upon a canvas, he could sell it on Etsy and be able to afford a decent haircut and a nice spa day.
Does the clipboard come with it, or is that another $1,000?
The blue lint dog would go nicely with this.
For a second there, I thought I had clicked on “Cake Wrecks”.
“This piece means a lot to me personally because it was the first produced, after a several year hiatus of just writing and delving inside myself, to see what I was.”
I wonder what he decided he was after painting this.
From another painting: “A question arises, the distinction between demon and angel is that of reality and non-reality, and we become immersed in the logos and the prison of subjective collectivism.”
I don’t want to buy any paintings, but do you think he would sell me some of his drugs?
I would venture to guess that his drugs require a triplicate prescription and are tracked via individual serial number. I would also venture to guess that he has not been filling his prescriptions…
A furniture wreck? Those bedsprings stabbing him in the shoulders don’t seem to have had much effect.
And I like how he says he prefers to use paper when painting wet in wet because the paper buckles… Damn! That’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years – pre-stretching the paper so I can paint a recognisable picture!
What happened here? A set of bedsprings fell off a car roof and killed Casper?
In his description of this, he says there was no white paint used. Does that mean he really, REALLY likes ghosts?
He used white ink instead. Pedant!
No. He believes white paint to be an endangered species…
rOSES are ReD,
Etsy DOES tooo.
My art is specifically made to cause you to emotionally react and chances are the first few times you view it, it will cause you discomfort as you try to understand what you are looking at through your own subjective window of reality.
Let me just stop you there.
Hey, hey, hey now. There must be a mix-up with the vintage ring because it specifically says in the description: ABOVE ALL, I TRY TO BE FAIR AND HONEST WITH ALL OF MY TRANSACTIONS AND HOPE YOU WILL DO THE SAME. WE SHOULD BOTH BE HAVING FUN.
If you can’t trust a stranger on the internet, then who can you trust?
The guy on the corner near my office that sells Rollex(sic) watches for $50?
You missed out on poetry-boy’s best work….
oh no. its gone. HES ON TO US!!!
I like how the wall decal reseller uses the SAME DAMN IMAGE. It’s like they don’t even try anymore.
I think it’s the same two people running both shops! Just massively marked up on etsy because they can
I assume they’re different because of the different store names, but both are based in Florida.
Who wants to buy my OOAK, Antique, Steampunk Brooklyn Bridge with Patina?
Only 10 million dollars, traffic included for free. FOB NYC.
Well, that’s got to be a fake listing – that bridge really IS antique!
It has to be Kikkoman soy sauce but you don’t care what brand orange drink?? I don’t think so.
Oooh, are we playing Etsy or Regretsy again?
You know, I still don’t understand why the cats committed suicide…
Holy shit… just as I hit “submit” our cat (the torti one) gave this horrible ancestral baskervilles yowwwwl.
I swear, we only have Kikkoman here, Cessna! No need for suicide!
Keats would have ended that poem wih “Sunny D” instead.
The er- poet owns a Ben and Jerry’s store in Seattle. I thought at first that it could just be someone with the same name but the style is unmistakable.
Sad hipsters are sad.
To be fair, the Etsy crystal comes with a sterling silver chain and the eBay one does not, which might account for part of the price differential. However, I strongly suspect that the extent of the “handmaking” is to add the “small aqua glass bead” and to plop it onto the chain.
It still doesn’t explain the price. Unless we take into consideration Etsy & PayPal fees.
It makes me tired and sad to know there is so much willingness to rip off and deceive customers. I know it’s “buyer beware” but its gotten to the point you have to do research before you buy anything over $10 to make sure you’re not getting ripped. And then people wonder why we have to have so many “constricting” laws and red tape on bricks and mortar businesses.
1. Buy ‘Gold’ and ‘Diamond’ crown ring from Ebay – $20.00
2. Sell same ring on Etsy – $647.00
*3. Wait for complete idiot (aka, hipster) to purchase.
There, I fixed it for you!
Double post – sorry
In the comments on the Graphic Fair *a different* etsy store stated she stole it and put it in her shop with a link to her shop. WTF is wrong with people?!
This makes me want to cry. These etsy sellers are all so stupid!
The sellers aren’t stupid. They’re happy to take advantage of the lesser-educated among us. It’s their buyers who are stupid.
Rain in Seattle makes Felt Pen all Blotty
let this suffcrivy
lct it be a
nom mommcnt that
I can rciw frony
frou thc transitioy
plcag maKi no
rccord of thi
faKe no picturcg
ltc thi cxpcr i cnci
tadc and watch
on th mxt Ascent
You’d suffer a whole lot less if you put the moleskin on your toes before climbing all those stairs from the waterfront up to the Public Market, and keep the poetry in your head.
In that poem, is it “veiw” or “rein”? I’m not sure that knowing will help me make more sense out of it.
I guess poems are better and more tortured when you can’t really read them all that well.
Whichever it is it is pronounced ‘nein’.
I’m really distressed by the way Etsy users (and I think crafters in general, if I’m not much mistaken) these days are playing it fast and loose with the term “filigree.” I have those little “filigree” fascinators that go on the end of the pretty crystal, and I believe that even bumped up to Rands from Dollars they still cost me about the same as a stick of gum, so chances are no matter what someone makes with them they’re going to pop up everywhere.
Because I have a knack for translating crazy, here is the poem in text- possible alternatives are in parentheses, because my brain compels me to try and make some sense of this.
Next Ascent Andy Wuerfel 9-14-08
Let this suffering
let it be a
non moment that
I can view from
from the transition
Pleas(e) make no
record of the(this)
take no pictures
let the experience
fade and watch
on the next Ascent
He requires so many words to say “erk? Oh, nevermind”. Reassembling it into words ( thank you) does not seem to have made a significant increase in sense, but it is now releasing spores or something -
Oh this senseless
sorry, the word you are looking for
does not exist
…stop that. right now.
I think the almost-marine-biologist in me just tried to explode. An octopus is not the same thing as a cuttlefish! Rrgh!
And blegh, that poem looks like something I wrote in my emo “poet” phase when I was in high school.
Can someone please let me in on whether April finds these herself on lonnnng boring raining days, or does the Helpful FJLs division submit these to her? I LOVE compare & save so much, that my self-loathing insists it must be a chore for April thus I should feel horrible for enjoying it.
(yeah, thanks for all that, mom.)
Doesn’t that last guy realize we can just copy the poem? You know, if we actually liked it.
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