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Perfect for your Hobo themed wedding.
The rustic flower girl will follow guests around asking for a loose change and rattling her basket.
And rustic flower girl will toss paint sample colors along the aisle.
I think the flower girl will be following guests around asking for loose change to get her tetanus immunisation updated!
I though we weren’t allowed to talk about the hobo themed wedding anymore..
Is it the first rule of hobo themed wedding? Damn, sorry.
OK, ‘fess up. The “G. G.” in your name stands for Glue Gun?
Yes, ma’am. And occasionally for Glitter when I feel pretty.
The bride and groom both in overalls and old tennis shoes.
Now the the wedding registry at Lowes makes sense !
“Be mine my little turpentine!!”
When they come out of the church, we can flick creamy white paint all over their faces with those mixer sticks. It’ll look like one of those adult films. So fun.
Someone *really* likes weddings.
And to be real classy add Silly String!!
It is a sign of a classy wedding when they have an “open bar” policy on huffy paint. Reminds me of Cousin Sally’s wedding…. actually, it doesn’t because remember a thing.
It says a lot about etsy that now when I’m faced with a $30 (plus shipping) empty paint bucket suitable for a wedding, the only thing I’m surprised about is they spelled everything correctly.
Naw, you gotta pay extra for bad grammar.
I’m disappointed that it doesn’t say “Here Come’s the Bride,” actually.
Or “Hear Come’s the Bride”
That would be the spelling on the matching honeymoon spittoon set.
I reread it like 15 times, thinking I had missed the mistake. Nope, just a crappy craft!
I’m surprised they call an empty paint can a “tin pail.” And I have no freaking idea WHY that would surprise me after all my time spent on Regretsy.
I noticed that too. I think maybe she’s hoping no one will notice it’s a fucking paint can. “No, darling! It’s a rustic tin pail!”
What blows me away is that the seller did not use the terms “vintage” or “steampunk” in the description. Could “rustic” be the new “whimsicle”?
No but they made up for it by using the words “shabby chic” multiple times.
Here Comes The Bride…Followed By Her Father With A Shotgun
The pregnant bride can barf it in (after the flowergirl has emptied it o’course). Helps keep the wedd’n classy and the floor clean.
Oh-a new category. Wedding Barf Buckets.
If not pregnant, the drunken bride can barf (or pee) into it.
And one for the groom in charcoal tones.
A good marriage is full of whitewash, I guess.
Is that what kids call it nowadays? Whitewash? Damn, I could’ve painted a couple of fences in my day…
I think the pail idea is kind of cute for a rustic themed wedding, but I certainly wouldn’t pay someone else to do the work.
Wow, I’ve got 40 years worth of half-empty paint cans under the work bench in my basement. I think I just funded my retirement!
Umm, that was not meant to be a reply to Calliope, but heck if it works, I’ll go with it!
In my Easter Bonnet,
With all the paints drips on it
I’ll be the star of the Easter Parade!
Oh, I like that it goes with nautical themes, too. The flower girl could be dressed like a deck swab!
weird it cost me less for a can of paint with the paint still in it. so by my logic…drink>paint>trip drunkenly over the paint> roll bucket in the spill> profit. i am so glad i can profit from sucking at painting! i could make a killing!
I recommend NOT sucking at paintings. Or at least only sucking at those done in non-toxic paint.
Actually, Sherwin Williams manufactures Dutch Boy, so the marriage of Dutch Boy and Miss Sherwin Williams is a little incestuous. Also, Dunn Edwards would NEVER deign to permit any child of theirs to wed one from the house of SWP.
What about Farrow&Ball? or am I the only one that reads Style at Home…?
Paint geeks! *swoon*
Farrow&Ball would be the old spinstery British aunt sitting in the back, making snide remarks about the whole affair.
I found the wedding cake!
That looks like it would turn your mouth even more blue than those Splashers gumballs would.
I take it Behr is the redneck second cousin, then?
I love that your bucket photo is on Photobucket.
I actually laughed out loud at that. Good call! (I’m just pissed I didn’t come up with it.)
And the groom wore an undercoat of the finest no.26 red.
If someone has 29.99$ burning that big a hole in their pocket I’ll gladly make them a PDF of directions to the nearest hardware store for 5$. Even.
My new fiverr idea is here!
At least the description is better than my guess, which was that this was some sort of begging bucket to hit the guests up for money. With this implication that, if it was filled, the bride would be very happy.
Expectations: Set them low enough and someday you might stop being disappointed.
Ooooh, it could be a whole LINE of paint-bucket accessories – get the 5-gallon size, and it’s perfect as a place for guests to put the cards of money!!! Move over, birdcage – paint bucket is the new hot decoration!
Or if the bucket was filled with money before the actual ceremony, the bride could make a clean getaway…
I guess that’s one way to let the groom know his man cave is getting redone into a totes adorbs (is that correctly mangled?) shabby-chic craft hell.
Are we playing Etsy or Regretsy now? I mean, this is something Bronc came up with, right? Right? *buries face in hands and just whimpers*
No, he’s in charge of the drywall place cards.
save yourself 30 bucks go dumpster diving for one of these or perhaps garage fishing …
I have a whole pile of flower girl baskets in a corner of my basement!
How much to get one that says “Here come da judge”?
It’s not DIY if you’re paying someone else $30 to do it for you.
True that. It’s Did It Myself, so, DIM.
Very much so, in fact.
actually, the DIY theme wedding is the only one a paint bucket really fits in. imagine a wedding decked out with ladders, paint cans, overalls and tools. the accompanying music will be performed using a rustic chic saw.
Is this a little passive aggressive considering the can is off-white and not pure white?
I’m a little disappointed the brown isn’t painted with menstrual fluids… or poop.
or hobo grease )
look at the savings! 57.74 for 56 empty paint cans! you even get the lid. i think she may be over charging just a bit. im feeling the ol regretsy compare and save.
Oh, pshaw, those aren’t rusty! What a gyp!
Maybe the Flower Girl could fling paint chips instead.
or eat them. i bet that is where the idea for that monstrosity came from.
or eat them.
Only if it’s vegan paint, though. One must have standards, after all.
Coming soon on Etsy: a podcast tutorial on making fake paint chips out of gum paste and fondant. Glittery lead contamination and rust included.
Dreams of CakeWrecks.
Next on My Strange Addiction…
“Rustic?” Do they mean “rusty,” instead? As someone who comes from a long line of “we can’t throw that away, it’s still slightly useful” people, I can tell you that the rims of old paint cans can get pretty nasty. Make sure the flower girl’s had her tetanus shot/booster before you let her loose with that thing.
Make her wear white gloves…which, of course, will be left with ugly rust stains.
I checked the seller’s shop. They have “Rustic,” “Vintage,” and “Shabby Chic” wedding items, which all pretty much look alike.
From the shop announcement:
“BraggingBags ~ Featuring authentic, original Morgann Hill Designs we are proud to offer you our signature rustic chic collection. A clever blend of California chic with delightful hints of Southern influences ~ our designs are the perfect compliment to numerous styled weddings including Country, Shabby, Vintage Inspired, Rustic, Woodland, Garden, Barn, Farm, DIY, Backyard Chic, Eco Friendly, Natural, Elegant, Enchanted Whimsy, just about any eclectic style!”
*speechless at the styles*
I’m getting married again just so I can have an Enchanted Whimsy wedding. The reception will be done in Whimsicle Fuckery. You’re all invited.
Your colors could be “Whimsy” and “Woo-Woo” and you could explain to everyone that they are two *different* shades of fuckery and that one is deeper than the other!
(Apologies to Steel Magnolias.)
“From our new 2012 collection” translates into, “We finally got around to cleaning out the shed and were too lazy to take our old paint cans to the hazardous waste dump.”
Isn’t it the same person who was trying to sell sawdust as perfect thing to throw at a wedding, for 20 bucks?
AHaha it’s her! And it’s sawdust that comes with a CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY!
YES! How much for a can coated with sawdust and then spray painted?
So this is how she’s paying for her home remodel. Interesting…
I’m trying to concoct some sort of fuckery out of a late beloved relative’s craft hoard in order to pay for my next round of school. I’m broke, have a bit of time on my hands and she left piles of actually valuable items. Wait, I’d it’s useful and in legitimately good condition is it still fuckery?
Sell everything in batches of three, with the tag “instant collection.” Shoot photos on barnwood or Bible pages. Include at least one hair. Make a fortune!
It’s okay as long as it doesn’t *stay* useful and in good condition.
I’ve got years of experience at turning perfectly good materials into fuckery.
Actual business education has almost nothing to do with success on Etsy? I…I…sadly, believe it.
I’ll bet she has 40 tons of that stuff lying around…
No idea what the current price is, but pretty sure it’s NOT $20US per pound.
“yummy smelling?” IF YOU’RE A TERMITE.
Ugh. That sounds itchy, and like a corneal scratch waiting to happen.
But what a lovely corneal scratch it will be!
I’ve never heard the term rustic chic. But based on this I guess it means taking an old piece of crap and painting it to look like an old piece of shit.
I live in Utah, and the “Rustic Chic” style is popular here. Faithful adherents decorate their houses with all sorts of rusted tools like old buckets, rusty washboards, dirty old wagons, old bronze stars, etc. Whenever I see all that crap in a person’s kitchen I imagine what a field day the spiders must be having, hiding in there.
Rustic chic is rustic chit.
And here we thought all those old paint cans the landlord left in our garage was a pain in the ass. Little did we know it was a secret gold mine!
I wish I was crafty enough to think of a way to repurpose the 20 years of dead car batteries in my garage. I know! They can be the weights to hold down balloon bouquets in an extremely windy outdoor wedding.
Do they have pretty labels? If so, they could be “decorative trailer supports with residual chi energy.” Claim they keep rodents and insects away. When they don’t work as advertised, tell the buyer it’s because they don’t believe strongly enough.
Something like that really kilz a good wedding.
I see what you did there
This’ll match my beer can centerpieces perfectly!
Looking at the rest of her store, it looks like she invested in a wood-burning gun and then just fucking went to town.
(Also, anyone look at this http://www.etsy.com/listing/69700261/personalized-cutting-board-grilling and NOT immediately think “spanking paddle”?)
I notice the legend on these: http://www.etsy.com/listing/52384107/large-set-of-12-personalized-custom?ref=v1_other_1 and snigger in a puerile manner.
You’re right. I’m too soft on the minions, I’d want rounded corners for their end and a longer handle for me. The personalisation is a nice touch though.
Maybe she can do the monogram backwards so the spanking will leave a nice negative impression of your initials….
I look at the cutting boards and immediately think “salmonella.”
Actually, I’ve been reading a lot of books on meat and butchery and apparently wooden cutting boards have a natural antibiotic effect (some woods might be better than others in this respect, that I dont know). Wooden cutting boards should also not go in the dishwasher; rather, they should be rinsed off and then sprinkled with salt to pull all the water out of the wood, and this salt acts as a further disinfectant.
The staff at Vagrarian’s Fucked-Up Wedding Planning Service are horrified beyond belief, and are placing this seller on a “DO NOT BUY FROM” list.
Think about it. The march is playing, the bridesmaids and grooms walking down the aisle, and then comes the flower girl carrying a cheaply painted bucket that announces, just in case the attendees thought this was a funeral or bat mitzvah or debutante ball, that the bride is approaching. In other words, this is only useful if your guest list is comprised of idiots. Then again, considering some of my relatives…
Oh this is LOVELY!
I’ve been telling my friends for WEEKS that paint cans are totally in keeping with a nautical-themed wedding. They didn’t believe me! I was brought up on stories about Blackbeard and his trusty paint can. And in more recent history, (if The Home Depot hadn’t have thrown a fit) the Navy’s logo would, in fact, be a paint brush inside of a paint can! Really, people…know your stuff before you complain or make fun. This is LOVELY.
And super cute!
The bucket-maker’s color chart can be found on her apartment walls. “My bathroom color is rare and sells at a premium since I only used one gallon of paint on that room. Try the living room color for a special discount. I had to use 5 gallons on that room since my cat, Shabby Kitty, knocked over two gallons while I wasn’t looking. It’s okay, though, because now my barnwood living room floor looks shabby fab!”
Wedding accessories for the truly lazy but full of cash set.
My wedding had a bit of a DIY feel to it, but I still wouldn’t have used something like that for a flower girl basket.
Actually, this could be useful in certain situations. My dad was a minister, and I remember one wedding he presided at where the bride got sick, threw up, and then fainted. At the time, everyone put it down to her heavy organza gown and it being so hot-it later turned out she was three months pregnant.
But if I’d been carrying a paint can instead of a flower basket, my mother wouldn’t have ended up having to scrub the barf out of the carpeting.
At least they didn’t try to claim it could be used at a steampunk wedding.
No wedding is complete without a flower girl “basket” that’s likely to give the child carrying it tetanus.
Morgan Hillbilly Designs
and she’s laughing all the way to the bank
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