Man, that Roadrunner couture line is brutal.
You did say roadrunner not road kill couture – but either one would apply
The Road Runner from the Wile E Coyote cartoons was what I had in mind.
Wile E. Coyote is too much of a super genius to fall for this monstrosity. Unless it comes from Acme Products, of course.
See, the secret is that much like the Dread Pirate Roberts, a new Wile E pops up to replace the old one when his schemes go awry.
Guess what happens to the old ones?
The old ones become Road Runner toys? Oh, wait, that would be redundant.
I don’t know.
they become boobie-holders…..
finally I can get some head while I go to 2nd base.
Did they just tear a piece of construction paper to make the neck part?
I’m sure that’s just a piece of dirty linen.
Flattened beef jerky was my thought.
psh. everyone knows fox jekyll face in more couture than fox hyde face.
I’m still waiting for the seller to make those squirrel head pasties I suggested.
Squirrel pasty, indeed! Now someone Photoshop that into a burlesque outfit.
….pasty or pastry? I think the slight language barrier from across the pond is showing again…
Delicious either way, I’m sure.
Nope, pasties, like the delicious meat pies made in the Upper Peninsula. Pronounced with a short “a” sound, as in “past.” Different from what you might see in burlesque shows. I learned that difference early on, thanks to a mother who grew up in Houghton.
although the children selling them in the Merchant area of Pennsic pronounce it with the long-A sound, and they also shout “meat pie” too…
(or at least they did. It’s been nigh on a score of years since I’ve been to a Pennsic War)
My mom kept running around the UP telling people she loved pasties (long a) and that they were awesome and that they should get them for their kids. The other tourists were understandably disturbed until I explained what pasties (short a) were. I then told mom to stfu when we were alone. She was mortified because she hadn’t made the connection between pasties (short a) and pasties (long a). Gotta love Michigan.
Gnu, you are my new hero. Gyro? Ha!
Om Nom Nom Nom!
I only want this if it barks when someone puts their hand too close.
I’d suggest to simply hog-tie two ornery spitz dogs together, but I’m pretty sure there are laws against that type of thing.
It would make a hell of a YouTube video.
I see you’ve watched The Addams Family !!(snap snap)
I think I’ll wear this to my next job interview.
I did. Not suggested.
Would you really want a job where wearing that might actually help your standing?
If I were applying to the Dalthrakian Horde, it might help (OK, I just got the DVD set… I’m late to the party)
Fucking Blood Elves…
Oooh, they take custom orders.
I’d like one side to be a guinea pig and the other side to be a buffalo.
(guinea pig on the left, please.)
If you’re a little lopsided (and who of us isn’t?), perhaps switching sides (buffalo on the left) would help.
wait, your left or the viewer’s left? because these things matter, really.
Would a gnu do?
He looks like he has something to say. So, nu?
So, nu, gnu?
Request the mouths to be directly over the nipples.
Hipsters are really into dead, suckling fauna (for now).
The neck strap is MUCH thicker on one side than the other. And for that reason, I will not be purchasing.
Is this a new fashion line by Ted Nugent’s wife?
I’m unexpectedly unsurprised that her name is ‘Shemane’. It just works, somehow.
“Fabulous secrets were revealed to me, the day I held aloft my grilling spatula and said: for the Honor of Roadkill!”
ted nugent looks a lot like satan.
Laid bare the *real* heart and soul of the Republican Party.
Or Jesus, according to Aqua Teens.
I guess hair nets are out of the question.
Only pink-blooded commie liberals wear hair nets.
Wait, I thought Nugent hunted ONLY with a bow and arrow. He’s using a gun now? What a wuss!
Bow and arrow??? Wuss. Is Ted too afraid to kill the deer with his teeth like God intended. After all Jesus killed a bear when he was just three using only his left incisor.
I’m pretty sure that was Teddy Roosevelt. I can see how you might get them confused.
Or maybe it was Hercules
A handtogod true story: When Teddy Roosevelt was doing one of his Whistle Stop train tours, just as his train was pulling away, an eight-year-old girl (!) tossed a badger (!!) into the car as a gift, being sure to shout that the badger’s name was ‘Josiah’. Teddy actually kept Josiah at the White House, where he (Josiah, usually) would attack various visiting members of Congress, which probably was a kinder greeting than they usually got from Teddy. Personally, I am surprised that ol’ Ted didn’t name both Josiah and the badass eight-year-old to important posts in his Cabinet.
The moral of the story: I’m pretty sure HK is directly descended from that little girl. Or possibly Josiah. It could go either way.
I just love the image of a little girl flinging a badger into a train car as the train is departing. I’m glad it was a friendly badger, because that could have gone horribly wrong.
Plus there is that whole thing about Arctic Foxes being endangered species…but you know it looks great on your tits so who cares right?
I’m not sure how “great” it looks, but what the heck, anything for a titty.
Yeah…that really pisses me off. I don’t mean to sound like a crazy PETA person, but that just isn’t cool. If anything, she should make Nutria bras or something. Apparently those might be more helpful to the environment on a tit.
Antlers are a second “garment.” GARMENT!
Behold my shrug make of fingernail clippings, dog hair and owl pellets!
“Antlers are a second garment” should be on a sampler.
Ohh, I can wear them as a separate thing. But can I change the size of the smell? Cuz you know these buggers have a smell.
I followed the trail to find some kind of explanation to what happened to the rest of those poor creatures, and all I found was some pseudo-postmodern bullshit on her website, which included such gems as:
“…style is the ultimate core of one’s self-expression. It is the voice that clearly dispells thoughts, ideas, feelig and beauty without verbally emitting a sound.”
“Dresses that we dream about can become poetry which articulates the body. Architecture becomes an ethereal form of design.”
I think someone’s been using the Virtual Academic.
Oh, swaan, as a one-time college lecturer, I am SO disappointed — yet somehow not surprised — to find out that this site exists. Even if it is meant to be taken in jest, it explains how some of my former “colleagues” “earned” a doctorate.
I’m writing my diss right now, and I learned about it on Facebook through another academic. It’s a good reminder about how NOT to write.
LOL thanks for that link!
Well, there’s certainly been some dispelling of thoughts and beauty going on.
(That one was my mistake.)
You would HAVE to “dispell [sic] thoughts, ideas, feelig [sic] and beauty” in order to produce this level of “fashion”.
That, or overdose on milk of magnesia.
The rest of those poor creatures were sold to a furrier (or a Furry) to make an expensive garment from. These remnants can be had very inexpensively from animal skin brokers, or dudes at ren fairs.
LOVELY link, thank you! Now I know what to post on Facebook when I run out of photos of my lunch and socks.
Technically, only one of your tits is a coyote. So your argument is only half-right.
“inquire for availability”?? does this mean she has other animal heads just sitting around, waiting to be made into bras? or does it mean she hunts and will kill any animal?
That means that if you want glitter tears attached, she’ll see what she can do after she contacts Dennis Hadron.
Also, not all animals match up so well. For instance, you’ll never catch a fox kissing a raccoon. Foxes hate those creeping little bastards.
I know where she can get a resinated hog’s head.
This hick knows that the heads are the scrap parts of a pelt, so she should have tagged it “upcycled” as well.
Mommy? No!!! What did they do to you?!
Oh my god. Must. Resist. The fluffy.
You can’t resist the fluffy, so don’t even try.
I really can’t. I’d risk so many nipped fingers to cuddle that for five seconds. Resistance is futile!
It’s so fluffy, I’m gonna DIE!
Aw. That makes me sad.
*grabby hands towards cute fluffy*
I’m afraid I’m developing a canine nose fetish.
WTF is that thing? It looks like a cross between a husky puppy and a baby opossum–it’s adorable. Want. Unless it actually IS the aforementioned cross, in which case it would undoubtedly grow up to be vicious, insane, and a heavy shedder, sooo… no thanks. But still cute.
It’s an arctic fox kit. If you want cute overload go to http://www.zooborns.com/.
Wow. I never thought I could run out of Awwwwwwwwwwwwws, but that site did it.
I like her site – fun and frivolous. (Aside from the whole “road kill as fashion” thing. That part is kind of icky.)
Oh, Humanity. Can you get more horrible?
NO, HUMANITY, IT WAS NOT A CHALLENGE!
challenge accepted anyway
My tits are nukes. Nobody ever argues with me.
I should make a warhead bra to sell on etsy.
It’s been done
I tried wearing it on my beach vacation. Made some really interesting tan lines, and boy you do NOT want to wear that sucker in the water!
Now I’m just picturing the negative feedback I would leave in such a situation: “seller did not specify that it was not to be worn while water skiing. Now it’s RUINED!”
I wonder if they can make a loincloth from raccoon pelts?
Beaver Las Vegas!
I’ll be humming that song all day.
A coworker has he Viva! Las Vegas! poster on his wall. I’ll either have to avoid going in his office or try to explain my maniacal laughter when I do.
Bonus points for the antler pauldrons.
“If you would like another type of fox or animal, please let us know, and we’ll go run down and kill that summabitch JUST for YOU.”
Twenty bucks says her horse winds up as a sofa-throw before the week’s out.
I’ve been trying to come up with a joke here, but either the tree pollen or the vodka is messing with my though processes so I’ll just leave the possible punchlines:
- “Yeah but when I went to cop a feel, the damn thing bit me!”
- “My dogs are barking!”
- “Yes but are they paper trained?”
I have 2 Bichon Frise’s, this might be something I could have done with them once they go to doggie heaven, what a lovely tribute, their little black noses and fluffy ears on me for eternity!
…their black button eyes staring up at you as if to say, “Why, Mommy, why? What the did we ever do to warrant this as our memorial??”
I’m pretty sure that even if I had spent the last 10 years finding new and unusual things to put my tits into, dessicated coyote heads would be a new one.
Sad fact is, she could use hamster heads on both sides and pretty much cover up everything enough so that I could be legal in public. What?
Meh. I’ve seen jewelry made by hot-gluing shiny things + a chain on a brooch to live beetles. Wake me when she’s made a live-beaver bolero* and I’ll get back to you.
*another indie band? It’s no Gushing Patina or Saggy Scrotums, but hell, it’s only Monday.
For those times when your alligator bustier is at the cleaners.
“Taxidermy” and “bra” should never be in the same sentence.
My exact thought! I need more java.
Since they do custom orders and their “non-custom” Large size only goes up to a 38C, I wonder what they kill for those of us who are in the DD+ category. Almost makes me want to convo the seller and ask. Almost.
I gots the DD’s too…hmm…elk perhaps? Bear?
As I redundantly mentioned above: There’s that resinated hog’s head…
(Who’d have ever thought I could get so much mileage out of something I can’t even look at?)
(That’s rhetorical, btw..)
I have FFs, I need two buffalo heads…
Well there’s a…creative outfit from the remnants of the fur industry.
The main positive I see is that in the past three years, she has had only one sale.
File under Not CavePunk
I would pay like $10 for a print of the default picture of this item. That is some seriously whimsicle fuckery.
I’m not sure I’d trust a Fox and a Coyote to corral a pair of loose Puppies.
Laugh all you want but Flintstone couture is so in right now.
Despite the weirdness of this item, her tights are pretty cool:
Though why she chose the “murder victim” style to be the first picture is a bit beyond me.
Wow that pic is creepy. Not only murder victim, but murder victim in a pram.
In this store: rejected Silent Hill monster designs?
Really you can get the same effect if you put on a pair of tights and give my toddler a juice box. I’ll only charge you $10.
I took one look at this, remembered the alligator-tit post, and thought “My tits are coyotes. Your argument is invalid.”
Then I scrolled down. And I was simultaneously very proud of myself and kind of scared.
The originally pic in it’s entirety would have looked better without the stupid animal ears. Overkill.
Overkill? No way, they didn’t go far enough. The horse should be a unicorn, and then it would be elevated from High Art to God Damned Mind-Bending Miracle.
Okay so it’s NOT Lady Gaga, right?
Wanna know what’s funny?
You can buy your own coyote faces for under $4 each.
I love people who massively overprice things.
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