Etsy or Regretsy?
It’s time to play…
Here’s how this works:
At least one of these things is a real listing on Etsy. At least one of these things was completely invented by us.
The question is, which is the Etsy, and which is the Regretsy?
Our answers and your best guesses will be posted in a few hours.
This is an especially tough one today, so NO CHEATING.
March 16, 2012 at 3:33 pm
All Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm
Seems possible, doesn’t it?!
I’d like to think the deconstructed garden was fun enough to stage for HK to have created it.
March 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm
I’m pretty sure my guess was just the vicodin talking.
March 16, 2012 at 4:07 pm
My guess is the first is HK. The rest are too dumb to NOT be Etsy.
But if she hadn’t specified that at least one of these is fake, I’d say all Etsy. And I’m 98% sober.
March 16, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Probably because it was only 7 minutes into happy hour for you. I hope you’re feeling at least 50% drunk by now.
March 16, 2012 at 6:25 pm
The deconstructed garden is awesome (and Regretsy-rific) and I am certain that the last container is full of crushed Oreos.
…That might just be a cookie craving on my end.
March 16, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Oh Lord, I can imagine all of these being on Etsy.
I hate life sometimes. lol
March 16, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Right?
1.) Etsy- Helen probably has a star trek themed toilet paper roll holder or something so this can’t be her bathroom.
2.) Etsy- No way Helen could have held onto a box of crayons this long without using all of them.
3.) Etsy- Fucking Barnwood
4.) Etsy- Helen is way too lazy and drunk to collect all that shit from her backyard and put it in jars.
5.) Etsy- Seriously? Who owns a horseshoe? Helen is way too cool for this.
6.) Okay this one could actually be regretsy.
March 16, 2012 at 5:20 pm
Fuck you, I own a horseshoe.
Ok, not really. But they’re fun to throw.
March 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm
A horseshoe?
Gesundheit!
March 16, 2012 at 5:42 pm
I disagree on 4, possibly 5 and 6. I want to say Etsy for the horseshoe but the description has to be fake, right? On the other hand… Six is too stupid for someone only pretending to be that ridiculous to make up.
March 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm
They all make my eyes bleed but the last one ruins my drunken vodka buzz less so I’m going to guess that’s the only Regretsy one.
March 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm
The first one is way too thought out, SO etsy.
Second one…regretsy.
Third one: Etsy
Fourth one: TOUGH. But I’ll go regretsy.
Fifth one: Regretsy I HOPE
Last one: Please let this be real. ETSY!
March 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm
The toilet paper has to be fake, because leaving that little arrogant piece of TP is too damn pretentious.
Ah hell, it’s probably etsy. There are enough pompous assholes that would post something like that.
March 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm
You didn’t just say toilet paper and assholes in the same comment, did you?
March 16, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Regretsy
Etsy
Etsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Regretsy
March 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm
The horseshoe listing should read, “I looked up and saw nothing…and then I saw stars.”
Ergo, it’s Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 3:52 pm
(ETA: My official guess is under item #5 (I put it in the wrong place, dammit). This is just me being a smart-ass.)
March 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm
1. Etsy
2. Etsy
3. Regretsy
4. Regretsy
5. Etsy
6. Etsy
Actually, umm they’re all so fucking edgy they could all be Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm
I’m just gonna assume it’s all Etsy, because even if it isn’t it probably will be or has been. (Although I will take a stab and say you’re funning us with the crayons. And by “say” I mean “hope and pray”.)
March 16, 2012 at 4:10 pm
But the crayons are from the exotic land of America! And by the description’s count, one of them is invisible. What would you pay for a vintage, delightfully shelf-worn invisible crayon?
March 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm
The deconstructed garden has to be Regretsy because it didn’t go into a lengthy description of how period blood makes a great fertilizer.
March 16, 2012 at 6:30 pm
True fun fact: It also keeps pests away. Incidentally, so does hair.
LOOK I PAY ATTENTION IN MY PLANT CLASSES OKAY?
March 19, 2012 at 8:45 pm
One day, I will own a farm, and once a month I will run around with no pants on to keep the pests away.
March 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm
The space movie is too mind-blowingly retarded to be fake…there is a spaceman out there one laser short of a casmos
March 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm
The deconstructed garden has to be Regretsy. No Etsy seller would willingly sell prime mason jars which could otherwise be used to hold stale macaroni or brass owl pendants.
March 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm
I second this ^ All Etsy except the garden kit.
March 19, 2012 at 8:46 pm
Thirded. I don’t think anyone dumb enough to sell that would know the word “deconstructed”.
March 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm
TP = Regretsy, because it looks too legit to actually be Etsy.
Crayons = Etsy, just cuz.
Incense = Etsy. I’ve actually seen people selling shit like that. I want to buy it so I can throw it at them.
Garden = Regretsy. If that were Etsy, I would buy it, then drive to wherever the seller lived, then throw it at them.
Horse shoe = Regretsy. If it’s Etsy, then the seller must have sold someone a rock incense burner so the buyer was throwing whatever they could find at them.
Planet X = Etsy. Because doucheholes on Etsy can be so self-important that they sell their Precious Life’s Work at absurdly inflated prices.
March 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Gonna guess as Fake, Fake, Real, Real, Fake, Real. That screenplay one is just too out there to not be real. I can totally see someone not knowing how actual screenplays are sold enough to think it would work.
March 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Having seen the used pastels, I am sure the Crayolas have to be Etsy.
The deconstructed garden could go either way. On one hand, it fits in perfectly with Etsy sellers who recently received a dictionary as a gift. On the other hand, it’s the most perfect mockery of Etsy I’ve ever seen.
March 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Tp= Etsy
Crayons= Regretsy
Rock= Etsy
Dirt=Etsy
Horse shoe= Regretsy
Film= Regretsy?
March 16, 2012 at 5:38 pm
1. Regretsy: TP Print would cost more than $130
2. Regretsy: Vintage crayons that cost over $50 and have a travel theme?
3. Regretsy: The barn wood is a trap, and an Etsy seller would have shown off the incense action
4. Regretsy: Deconstructed garden using “loamy dirt” as a description leads me to believe Helen is now a gardener
5. Regretsy: Horseshoe is too expensive
6. Regretsy: Helen loves Star Trek stuff and that looks suspiciously like a phaser.
March 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm
I’m not sure for any of them, but what gets me is that the box of crayons clearly states that it has 124 crayons, yet the description says there are 123 and “none are missing!” Um, right…
March 16, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Must every crayon only contain one color?
March 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm
I’m going to say they’re all Regretsy except #5, because there are no misspellings and I spell it “horseshoe”.
March 16, 2012 at 3:42 pm
I’ve never even been close to correct, but anyway…
Toilet roll picture – Regretsy; the patter is too perfectly precious
Crayons – Tough one, but I’ll take Etsy
Rock with hole in it – Etsy; so perfectly self delusional it couldn’t be anything else (unless Helen was hitting the nyquil jello shots a bit too hard)
Deconstructed Garden – Way Etsy; how else can poser hipsters stay in touch with the nature when you live Brooklyn?
Horse shoe – I call horse shit – etsy
Planet X – Regretsy; Despite the price (which leans me towards etsy)I don’t think an etsy hispter would part with such a cool/retro/ironic item at any price.
March 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm
My money’s on Monkey33 this week.
March 16, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Wait, what? No one told me there’d be betting! What are the odds?
March 16, 2012 at 6:52 pm
In this context, “on” prolly means “tucked in the waistband of underpants”.
March 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm
the 2 last ones are fake. Well, maybe only the last one alltogether. Because @Nebbish’s above me’s argument is just too damn good.
March 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm
I think the toilet paper photo is overpriced for the joke yet underpriced for Etsy “art”. Fake!
I
hopethink the garden in jars is fake, too.The rest are real.
March 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm
my guess:
Etsy, Etsy Regretsy, Etsy, Etsy, Regretsy.
March 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm
The crayons are Etsy, the horseshoe is etsy, the rock incense is etsy (I don’t think you’d trust yourself with a drill enough to make it yourself).
The deconstructed garden has got to be Etsy…it would take you far too long, with too much concentration, and too much sobriety, to be able to put it all together for a post like this. I mean really, there are labels and everything.
I would say the video was fake, but after seeing all the posts about the expensive crap on Etsy, I’m thinking you found it while perusing those things. I think it’s just a little bit too, oh, I don’t know what word to use–you know when you make something, and you think that it is great, and think others will see its wonder just as much as you do so you have to put it out there, even though a small part of you KNOWS that it is dumber than shit? That.
March 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm
1) Etsy, because its so horrible it must be real!
2) Etsy, because the person posting it must not know how to count-the picture shows a box of 124 crayons, yet the description tells us “The box holds 123 crayons in total, none are missing!”
3) Regretsy because i CANNOT believe someone will drill a hole in a rock and then want to call it a ‘craft’ they can sell! that’s just breaking my BS meter!
4) etsy. its pretentious enough to be real, sadly.
5) Regretsy. it’s just TOO perfect a posting, really.
6) etsy. because fuck it, it just has to be!
March 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm
I’m thinking the garden and the screenplay are Regretsy. That gun looks like something Bronc would own, and who else would know what a “logline” is but people who read scripts all the time?
I think I see a petrified chihuahua turd in one of those jars.
March 16, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Toilet paper picture: Etsy, because it’s vignetted.
Crayons: Etsy, because they’re old (“vintage”)
Rock: Regretsy, because even Etsy has gotter over barnwood,since it’s sooo 2010.
Deconstructed garden: Regretsy. It’s a poop joke in the first line, right there!
Horseshoe: Etsy. Unbelievably overpriced rubish straight from the waste container.
Film script: looks like Etsy, but I’ll say Regretsy, because that gun might be the kind of object April would own.
March 16, 2012 at 3:44 pm
The horseshoe and toilet paper roll are Regretsy and the others are Etsy. Didn’t cheat either
March 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm
Surely the crayons are Regretsy, since the box clearly says it has 124 crayons, and the text claims that the “box holds 123 in total. None are missing!”
As to the others: my brain already hurts too much.
March 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Actually, read the box again!
Maybe the box is old enough to contain a color changing crayon (you’d apply the “magic crayon” afterwards to get the second color?) or the kind with flecks of other colors or glitter in it?
Dang, just realized how much money you could get on etsy selling those glitter crayons. Crafting just got easier.
March 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm
First one Regretsy, thr rest Etsy. But I suck at this game, so who knows?
March 16, 2012 at 3:48 pm
I think the horseshoe is Regretsy because the story is too similar to the platinum alien railroad spike.
March 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Y U do this on Friday night, HK? (Halfway through 1st drink of the weekend.)
March 16, 2012 at 3:56 pm
*hic* Sorry, comment went in the wrong place again.
March 16, 2012 at 3:50 pm
The screenplay’s so contradictory that it has to be Etsy. The Poo-Craftian Overlords thrive off that shit.
March 16, 2012 at 3:52 pm
1) Etsy: Exactly was someone would think of as art humor.
2) Regretsy: As far as I can tell Crayola hasn’t changed their look in forever, and I can’t imagine a world in which little British children grow up not knowing the joys of a giant box of Crayola crayons.
3)Etsy:HK could not have passed up the chance to glue some shit to it
4)Regresy: Mainly because I don’t want to live in a world where someone could shove dirt in a used baby food jar and write that much copy about it.
5)Etsy: Had to flip a coin here. Heads it was Etsy. Tails Regretsy. It came up tails, and then I remembered I didn’t have $5,000 worth of Luck and chose the opposite.
6)Etsy: Frankly, I’m surprised there aren’t more screeplays on Etsy. Though I was a bit thrown off seeing a screenplay outside of its natural habitat: squatting at a Starbucks table for FOUR FUCKING HOURS!!!!
March 16, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Actually, I was a little British child who grew up not knowing the joys of Crayola.
Perhaps I come from Planet X?
March 16, 2012 at 3:54 pm
What self respecting Etsy Fairy would talk about the garden of eden and not the growing power of mother earth? Regretsy
Toilet paper picture is Etsy, someone got that idea while being high in the bathroom
March 16, 2012 at 3:54 pm
If the script turns out to be real I’m gonna buy that shit and re-write it as a porno. I’m low on funds so who here wants to invest in a shitty sci-fi porno flick?
March 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm
TP “Art” – Etsy: I don’t think April or Bronc could stop laughing long enough to type up that description.
Crayons – Regretsy: This was a close call, but I think an Etsyan would try to charge more for a full set of wax sticks.
Rock with a hole – Etsy: because least amount of effort + free materials + high (heh heh) price tag
Dirt in jars – Regretsy: Because I think Bronc likes garlic, and those all look like jars from chopped garlic.
Horseshoe from space – Etsy: Just… ugh.
Planet X – Etsy: because some fucktard teenager with an iPhone’s mom won’t let him smoke pot, he’s got nothing else to do
March 16, 2012 at 3:56 pm
They are all so ridiculously fucking stupid that they ALL have to be Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Real
Fake
Real
Fake (though I’m pretty undecided on this- it’s too crazy!)
Real
Real
But I’m probably wrong. I’m being influenced by last time…
March 16, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Toilet Paper photograph: Etsy. There’s an effort at composition there and I sense that the photographer is someone who takes themselves very seriously.
Vintage crayons: Etsy – with the lettering, they do look old (although I’m not saying anybody sane should buy them).
Rock incense burner: Regretsy – that looks like April’s hand!
Deconstructed garden: Regretsy – if it were real, there would be spelling mistakes and even more crazy hippie talk.
Horseshoe: Etsy – that story is so lame, it has to be true.
Adventures on Planet X: Etsy and possibly written by the same person as Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine.
March 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Loo Roll – Regretsy. ‘Hanged’ is for people, pictures are hung. (If it is Etsy, they should be hanged for misuse of the English language).
Crayons – Should be Regretsy because actual British people would probably say ‘love colouring in’, but is probably Etsy because they’re just that lovely, darling.
Rock – Etsy.
Garden – There is NO number 2. But if there were, this would be it. Etsy.
Alien Horseshoe – Regretsy. Aliens don’t ride horses, they ride zblurgles.
Planet X – For this money, I’d expect an actual finished movie, possibly staring Jimmy Stewart and Kathryn Hepburn. But I still think it’s Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Fake fake real real real fake
I would totally buy that ray gun. If it were really a screenplay, it would be on Kickstarter, not Etsy.
And that horseshoe must be REALLY lucky…
March 16, 2012 at 4:07 pm
I am going to say the deconstructed garden because of the reference to No. 2.
March 16, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Toilet roll print: Regretsy (no mention of emotions, nobody sells ready-to-hang)
Crayons: Etsy. Might be wrong though, no barnwood.
Rock: Regretsy. Drill hole too neat for Etsy, something about the rock types not matching Alaskan geology?
Garden: brilliant Regretsy. I hope. Incorrect ratios for garden, anyway.
Horse shoe: Etsy? If male Etsiers are a thing? Not sexist, just somebody who doesn’t want to spew whimsy.
Screenplay: Etsy. April would know the correct terminologies re: films that haven’t been made yet.
March 16, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Crayons are Etsy. Note consecutive use of “lovely” and “darling” without proper punctuation. Also, description says “123 crayons, none missing,” and the box specifies 124 colors.
Lucky horseshoe is Regretsy. If a horseshoe had fallen out of the sky that close to an Etsy dumbfuck, it wouldn’t have missed. Or, there is no God.
March 16, 2012 at 5:32 pm
I just LOL’d so hard about the horseshoe, I sprained a giblet!
March 16, 2012 at 4:13 pm
TP: Fake
Crayons: Real
Rock: Real
Garden: Fake
Horseshoe: Real
Movie: Real
March 16, 2012 at 4:15 pm
I know the answer ’cause I looked it up (I’m crappy that way) so I won’t tell. I will say that I couldn’t, for the life of me, decide which ones WEREN’T Etsy on my own.
March 16, 2012 at 4:17 pm
e
R
e
R
e
R
March 16, 2012 at 4:17 pm
All real except the crayons and horseshoe.
March 16, 2012 at 4:17 pm
I’m going to go with everything being Etsy but the crayons, because if that listing is real with those fuckers at that price I think I’m going to morph into the Incredible Hulk from sheer rage.
March 16, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Bloody hell. You weren’t kidding! I think I’ll pass on the guessing for this one, at least until I finally score myself some cold meds. Bravo.
March 16, 2012 at 4:21 pm
The toilet paper roll photo has to be Etsy. It has to.
I call shenanigans on the crayons because the tone is wayway too treacley. Nice try, April. I hope.
The rock is real, and as I geologist I see no problem with having a favorite rock. >.>
The garden HAS to be fake simply for use of the term “upcrafted”.
The horse shoe could go either way, but I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and say Etsy.
But the screenplay has to be Regretsy for the sheer delusion required to try to sell a screenplay on Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 4:22 pm
The deconstructed garden has got to be Regretsy, or I’m gunna have become the “Hipster Killer”. Just saying.
The rest I can easily see as real, except maybe the horse shoe. That’s probably Regretsy.
March 16, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Those crayons have to be Etsy. ONLY an etsy seller would say there’s 123 crayons and ‘none missing’ when the box clearly states 124.
That said, these are all headache inducing. Therefore, I’m off to grab my rum out of the freezer. Oi!
March 16, 2012 at 4:25 pm
I say the crayons, the incense burner, and the play are Etsy. The lucky horseshoe comes too soon after the post about $10000 items to not be suspicious…~
March 16, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Toilet paper photo – real. Only an Etsian would need to SAY something is funny.
Crayons – fake. No one in America could bear to donate a whole box of Crayolas without using one.
Rock – real. Fire hazards are always Etsy.
Deconstructed garden – real. Because HK and Bronc don’t have time to make labels with PHOTOS of dirt and rocks.
Lucky Horse Shoe – real. I don’t think HK is on the right kind of drugs to induce that kind of bullshit description.
Screenplay – fake. The spelling, punctuation, and grammar are excellent, and there is tense consistency throughout. No one with writing skills that good are going to post on Etsy, even if the content is crap.
March 16, 2012 at 4:25 pm
1) Etsy. I can tell by some of the pixels, and from having seen a few empty toilet paper roll works of art in my time.
2) Regretsy, considering the recent “used pastels/chalks” post.
3) Etsy, looks like something sold at my local mall’s Chinese imports store.
4) Etsy. Unfortunately.
5) Regretsy. It’s too well done.
6) Regretsy, because no real Etsy seller that would end up featured here actually knows the word “logline” and its proper use.
March 16, 2012 at 4:26 pm
I’ve never caught this before the results were posted! I am usually horrible at this stuff, but here are my guesses:
1. Etsy
2. Regretsy
3. Etsy
4. Etsy
5. Regretsy
6. Regretsy
March 16, 2012 at 4:39 pm
I’m a horrible person and had to check my guesses. I won’t say how many I got right, but what is wrong with some people? What is their thought process? How did they come up with some of this stuff? Why did they think it was a good idea?
Time for a drink. Also, did anyone else think of Babes in Toyland with the space screenplay?
March 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm
TP photo- Etsy
Crayons- Regretsy
Rock- Etsy
Jars of Yard Waste- Regretsy (I so hope)
Horseshit Shoe- Regretsy (if it was Etsy it would be spray painted silver and said to have come from a UFO)
Screenplay- Regretsy
March 16, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Holy shit! I freakin’ LIVE IN KETCHIKAN ALASKA!!!! 1) I think the incense rock is real b/c it’s stupid/easy/clever. 2) that is what the rocks around here look like. 3) who the hell in my town is exporting my beach?!?!?
Seriously… I might know them…
March 16, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I think the garden thing is Regretsy because there’s way too much said about the dirt and stuff in jars, and the keeping the jars for 3 months thing to properly ‘age’ them or whatever is over the top. Water sitting around in a jar for 3 months is likely to end up with things growing in it, and hopefully even people who spew BS on Etsy would know that. I grow lots of plants and you’d have to be a major dolt to think that you could sell that or to buy it. Not that it stops people from posting doltish things on Etsy.
I think the Crayons might also be Regretsy, but I’m not totally sure. Everything else is Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Unless the deconstructed garden is listed by the woman who has a hobby of fermented foods & tall bike building. I could see her listing that kind of quackery.
March 16, 2012 at 4:32 pm
I’m actually drunk at this moment and was dancing to “Boys” by Sabrina a few minutes ago but I’ll try anyway
Toilet paper : real
Crayons : real
Garden crap : FAKE, the spelling mistakes are more subtle but don’t sound authentic
Horseshoe : I have a doubt, but I’ll say real, I’ve seen stuff like this on Ebay. Then again it should have an image of the virgin Mary or Jesus appearing in the rust.
Screenplay : I’ll say real, although it sounds fake. Helen K wouldv’e written a way more wilder storyline (like time travelling through Paypal accounts or something)
March 16, 2012 at 4:34 pm
oops I forgot the rock… I’ll say real. I’ve seen those in shops before.
March 16, 2012 at 4:32 pm
The toilet roll photo must be fake because if it were Etsy there would be a whimsical saying scrawled in shit on the wall.
The crayons must be legit and I’m assuming it’s $35 per crayon?
The incense burner is fake because the hands are too clean.
The deconstructed garden must be real because the photoshoped on labels are not as convincing as the Baby Batter from last time.
That horseshoe’s description is vague and stupid enough to be Etsy, also I don’t think your’s or Bronc’s hands are that small!
That screenplay is real and I want to read it.
March 16, 2012 at 4:35 pm
I have a friend who is a librarian, and some dude drew a mandala in shit on the library’s bathroom wall.
They thought it was the guy they had to have arrested because of his odd behavior.
This shit really happens.
March 16, 2012 at 4:32 pm
My dog just listed some deconstructed fertilizer for the deconstructed garden….what, I’m supposed to be guessing at something?
March 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Deconstructed Garden is REgretsy. It’s not categorized appropriately for Etsy as Steampunk.
March 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm
there is NO WAY that deconstructed Garden is Etsy. The labels on the top of the baby food jars are too neatly photoshopped. the rest is pretty believably etsy though!
March 16, 2012 at 6:43 pm
I think that they’re stickers.
March 16, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Regretsy, crayons and horseshoe
all others Etsy
But then again………………
March 16, 2012 at 4:38 pm
etsy
regretsy
etsy
regretsy
regretsy
etsy
March 16, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Honestly, I can believe that they are all Etsy…and sadly would probably sell…but since one has to be fake, my guess would be that the box of crayons is Regretsy.
March 16, 2012 at 4:40 pm
ETSY: April seems like a unroll-from-underneath kind of woman and this is the remains of a unroll-from-the-top household.
REGRETSY: Crayola doesn’t have 124 colors
.
ETSY: Typical gushy copy and there are TWO shades of barnwood!
REGRETSY: Too inexpensive, doesn’t mention amount of spring water, or if instructions will be included.
REGRETSY: Not. Enough. Backstory.
REGRETSY: Story has elements of “The Marvelous Stamps of El Dorado” and the ray gun looks like something really awesome that is in the House of Regretsy.
March 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Actually, Crayola does have that many! I bought my kids a crayon tower that had 150 in it. Although, some are metallic or glittery, so I don’t know if that counts?
March 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm
OMG, 150!! Where did you buy that?
(Whether or not the Crayola here are Etsy, it’s ALWAYS fun to play this game!)
March 16, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Garden is April. The rest Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 4:45 pm
I think the only one that’s Regretsy is the movie at the end. It’s too much like the post yesterday, with the chick selling artwork that isn’t done yet for $10,000.
All the rest of them are fucktarded enough that they have to be Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Etsy*
Etsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Last time when I did the dirty dish picture, I had the idea to take a picture of my dog taking a shit…I will now be doing this, or something similar and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!!!
March 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
That was tough. So tough I couldn’t even come up with anything witty to say.
March 16, 2012 at 4:55 pm
The last one must be Etsy because there’s no way that kind of amazing delusion isn’t real. You can’t make that up!
March 16, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Regretsy – Usually when I see an empty roll. I don’t ponder about the abstract beauty. I rage at the thought that someone didn’t replace the toilet paper and I might have to do that awful squat-walk
Regretsy – I base this on the price, non vintage crayons are so cheap, although if someone did this they’d be a mad genius to just replace all the vintage crayons with brand new ones for 4 bucks.
Etsy – only etsy could have a rock with a hole in it for roughly 10 dollars. Why would you pay for this? and then shipping? FOR A ROCK?
Regretsy – I’m a hypocrite, so I am going to say regretsy because SERIOUSLY SHIPPING FOR SOME DIRT?
Regretsy – I’m beginning to just guess….
Etsy – I hope this is etsy…. because crazy people make my day….
March 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm
The horseshoe is Regretsy because I recognize Bronc’s strong, masculine, laborer hand. (Did that sound stalkerishly creepy? If not, I’ll try harder next time.)
Oh, and if that’s your hand April, sorry.
March 16, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Horseshoe has got to be etsy! She was hit in the head with a horseshoe, now she’s selling it for $5,000.00 to pay for her brain trauma.
March 16, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Oh, I do hope the delusional seedless “garden” is Etsy. It is just such massive hippy bullshit, no sane person could devise it.
March 16, 2012 at 5:15 pm
“the ugly pink daises that line in your bathroom walls that you can’t get rid of because you rent your place?”
IF THIS ISN’T HK I’LL EAT PETJA’S HAT.
March 16, 2012 at 5:17 pm
Toilet Paper – naw, I doubt it. It looks single ply.
Vintage Crayons – YES. They would totally do this.
Rock incense burner – I’d be surprised if it wasn’t etsy. Unnecessary hand, barn wood… and I think people have made these for me before.
Garden – I think that while this is something that could be expected from the bowels of whimsey, April is having us on this time.
LUCKY HORSE SHOE – CAPS MAKE IT REAL.
Adventure on Planet X – Noo. There’s nothing original about this story. Or the price.
March 16, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Also, I was clearly playing ETSY or NOT. Woops. So…
Regretsy
Etsty
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
March 16, 2012 at 5:17 pm
The toilet paper roll has to be Etsy. Only an Etsy seller would basically admit that what they’re posting can’t possibly be called artwork without the quotation marks around the word, and still charge $130 for it.
March 16, 2012 at 5:18 pm
The toilet paper is so stupid, it HAS to be Etsy.
Crayola box is definitely Etsy. They love the word ‘vintage’.
Rock incense burner could go either way. It’s a toss up.
The deconstructed garden looks Photoshopped, so I’m going to say Regretsy.
Lucky horseshoe is Regretsy.
Adventure on Planet X has to be Regretsy. Please, oh, please tell me it is.
March 16, 2012 at 5:19 pm
Also the “deconstructed garden” (ie yard trash in a jar) is Etsy, because that’s some Etsian bullshit if I ever saw it.
March 16, 2012 at 5:23 pm
I shouldn’t but.. I really think these are all Regretsy.
I hope I don’t Regretsy that guess…. I looked through several times but then again, I haven’t looked through Etsy in a long time. Err.. then again, I haven’t been on Regretsy as much as I should…
still. Regretsy. Final answer.
March 16, 2012 at 5:30 pm
I would like to point out that I am on drugs and also still have a high faith and hope in personkind* (faith that Bronc and April would think of all of these and hope that nobody would try to sell any of this shit on Etsy).
Drugs and idealism are my only explanation(s) for my guess.
March 16, 2012 at 5:39 pm
Oh, Poo.. read the rules again and it says at least one was made by Etsy…
….Etsy rock then…. because really why ruin a good drill just for a silly game?
March 16, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Toilet paper roll photo: Regretsy. For the fact it includes the description and isn’t some self introspective shit about emptiness or simplicity or limited earth resources it must be Regretsy.
Crayons: Etsy. “colors” is spelled with proper British spelling.
Rock: Etsy.
Garden in a jar: Etsy
Horseshoe: Regretsy. This is the fake before the real thing.
Film: Etsy. Only some self absorbed fuckwad wants $100K for some poorly written script that only Michael Bay”sploshun” would produce.
March 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Pretty sure the crayons have to be Regretsy, because English people say ‘colour in’, not ‘colour’ as a verb.
March 16, 2012 at 5:24 pm
The deconstructed garden is Regretsy. Just because the mental image of April sorting dirt, leaves, water, sticks and gravel into jars just to amuse us is hilarious.
March 16, 2012 at 5:30 pm
This is a hard one, but here goes:
Toilet paper: Etsy
Crayons: Regretsy. I think they are trying to throw us off with the pounds, darling, colour, and general Britishness
Rock: I’m tempted to say Regretsy because of the wood background, but Etsy
Deconstructed garden: It’s so perfect. NATURE in all caps. “Convo me.” Bible references. A slight typo in essentual. “Extra artistic appearance.” It seems like the perfect fake listing….which is why I think it is real.
Horseshoe: I really hope that this is Etsy and the seller will eventually give more details about what exactly they think happened. I’d rather this be the start of a $100,000 screenplay than the last one.
Planet X: Regretsy, if only because I hope Helen and Bronc own the gun in the picture. I can see all of these being real, though.
March 16, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Etsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Regretsy
Regretsy
Etsy
I’m giving HK and Bronc a ton of credit this time.
March 16, 2012 at 5:35 pm
1) Regretsy – it’s WAY too sarcastic.
2) Etsy – because those cupcake Nazis are ruining childhood memories, one generation at a time.
3) Etsy – it’s not actually the worst idea I’ve ever seen.
4) Regretsy – no cupcake seeds included.
5) Etsy – only an Etsian would say a tentanus-ridden horseshoe that almost meteored through their head is lucky.
6) Regretsy – too much reading involved, and it’s too well-written.
March 16, 2012 at 5:39 pm
The first one has to be Regretsy. The hint of snark just wasn’t subtle enough.
March 16, 2012 at 5:39 pm
TP photo: Regretsy. If there were a toilet visible, I would’ve said Etsy.
Crayons: Etsy. Only in that universe could 123 equal 124.
Incense holder: Etsy. Only people dumb as rock would buy a rock.
“Deconstructed” garden: Regretsy. Something this twisted and bizarre, yet brilliant, could only be the work of HK.
Horseshoe: Regretsy. Or else I’m going raiding old barns.
Planet X: Etsy. This is clearly the result of overusing Hillbilly Bajingo Wash.
March 16, 2012 at 5:41 pm
The hand in the rock incense burner photo looks like it might have been recently washed. Definitely not Etsy.
March 16, 2012 at 5:48 pm
HOLY SHIT. All Etsy, except the last one. I know I’m going to be wrong, but holy shit that screenplay sounds awful.
March 16, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Merciful Hipster Jesus, hear me. I pray you, nay, I beg you. Tell me the Deconstructed Garden is a Regretsy thing, else I’m gonna have to cut a bitch.
I’m willing to say nearly everything else is Etsy just because it’s so far over the WTF meter, mine has actually exploded.
March 16, 2012 at 5:54 pm
TP – Etsy; I don’t think HK has an Instagram account
Crayons – Etsy; use of “colour” instead of “color”, unless we learned our lesson with the whole “jewelry/jewellery” thing
Rock – Etsy; what Etisian doesn’t totes have a favorite rock?
Garden – Regretsy; please please please be Regretsy
Horseshoe – Etsy; too dumb to know that a horseshoe has to be open-end-up to hold all the luck, silly
Script – Regretsy because awesome space gun
March 16, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Colour is how they spell color in the UK.
March 16, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Planet X synopsis has some similarities to C.S. Lewis’ The Magician’s Nephew http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Magician%27s_Nephew to my mind.
March 16, 2012 at 5:59 pm
fake
real
real
fake
fake
real
March 16, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Actually, that’s not HK’s hand, so the horseshoe is real.
March 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm
All Etsy except the Deconstructed Garden, because the dirt on top of the jar in front looks photoshopped, and the bit about working in a corporate environment sounds exactly like the kind of hippie bullshit HK and Bronc love to mock.
March 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm
That TP holder just has to be Etsy. Either way I’m “going to interpret it my own way and make an altered version of it”. Yep, I’m stealing the damn thing.
Everyone in my house just leaves the roll sitting on the edge of the damn bathtub. Eventually it gets knocked in, water drips on it, and you have a handful of mushy wet goo to wipe your ass with. This is perfect for giving them something new to ignore while taking a dump.
March 16, 2012 at 6:24 pm
The Rock is over somebody’s deck made of Old Barn Wood, so I’m going to say that’s yours. What I want to know is, how did you get somebody to build you a deck made of Old Barn Wood? By the way, I’m terrible at this game.
March 16, 2012 at 6:30 pm
You sure are!
March 16, 2012 at 6:27 pm
The script is too mind numbingly idiotic not to be real.
Even if this particular rock incense burner is fake, I guarantee you there are 153 just like it on Etsy, so it doesn’t count as Regretsy. Same deal with the crayons.
The horseshoe and deconstructed garden look like they’re trying just a little bit too hard to blend in, so they’re probably fake.
Please, just please let me believe that the toilet paper roll photo isn’t real.
March 16, 2012 at 6:31 pm
The decon garden is faked; the main pic looks ‘shopped.
March 16, 2012 at 6:35 pm
So before I read anyone else’s reasoning, here are my votes:
1. TP photo- Etsy. It’s *almost* clever and seriously overpriced.
2. “Vintage” Crayons- Etsy. There’s no way April and Bronc own a nearly pristine box.
3. Rock incense burner- Regretsy. April said this would be hard, and everyone knows how damn easy it is to find a plain rock for sale on Etsy. They’re usually drawn or crocheted on or some other bullshit though, not just drilled. That’s almost brilliant.
4. Garden Jars- Etsy. The description is so god damned creamy it makes me want to never swallow again, and if I was sitting at my desk right now I would [headdesk] it.
5. Horse shoe- Regretsy. Because if an etsian was writing that description, there would be way more bullshit included to justify the amazingly low, low price.
6. Screenplay– TOTALLY ETSY. Everyone else knows that you never go full retard.
March 16, 2012 at 6:42 pm
1. Etsy. Please be Etsy. I want to live in a world where that listing exists.
2. Etsy. That rock has a hole drilled in it. There’s no way HK was sober enough while making this list to operate power tools.
3. Etsy. It’s too stupid for Regretsy.
4. Regretsy. The tops of the jars look Photoshopped.
5. Regretsy. The story’s weird, but not nearly pretentious enough to be listed for $5000.
6. Regretsy. I can’t explain, I just get a Regretsy kind of feeling from the picture in the listing.
March 16, 2012 at 6:43 pm
Regretsy: deconstructed garden (labels look infinitely thin = ‘shopped), screenplay (my god, that’s just too awful), incense burner (utterly ineffective)
Etsy: horse shoe (vanity listing not intended to sell), TP photo (sense of whimsy not unlike my own).
On the fence: crayons (nothing illegitimate pops out, but just doesn’t *feel* right)
March 16, 2012 at 7:00 pm
1) TP Photo is Regretsy, the discussion of the ugly flowers in the rental bathroom is a tip-off.
2) Crayons are hard to call, but I have a hard time believing that even English people are too boozily out of touch with the world to try to sell a box of crayons for… well… it really might be Etsy…
3) Rock Incense Burner is stock craftard “I took something and drilled/hotglued it”. Etsy.
4) Deconstructed Garden is Regretsy. The write-up sounds right, but the labels remind me of the fake “Baby Batter” from last time. I’m saying Regretsy.
5) Lucky Horseshoe. Seriously, some guy gets hit in the head with a horseshoe and tries to sell his “story”? It’s too lame to be real, right? But… it’s also not clear what the hell he’s selling. I’m going with Etsy, it’s weird but not clever enough for Regretsy.
6) Sci-fi story. Seems innocuous enough, if grossly overpriced, and terribly trite. Total Etsy. Only thing is, why is there no name? I’m going Regretsy based on that.
March 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Really? For 5 grand you can’t throw in shipping for free?!
March 18, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Where are the answers for this one at? I can’t seem to find the post.
March 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm
I’m going to bet the rock is fake simply because it’s too real – there are people who sell this crap all the time, with exactly this kind of description, so I think Helen threw this in as a curveball.
March 19, 2012 at 9:44 am
1) tp roll- etsy- I can totally see some hipster douche thinking that it is in fact hilarious and everyone will think the same
2)crayons- regretsy
3)rock incense burner- it has etsy written all over it
4) deconstructed garden- etsy- who wouldn’t love my dirt in a jar?
5) lucky horseshoe- etsy- the story is just awesome! It’s just as awesome as finding gum on the bottom of my shoe!
6)adventure on planet X- etsy- please, please, please tell me that there is twit out there that believes this worth that price! please reaffirm my loss of faith in the human race!
March 19, 2012 at 10:09 am
Sadly, I’m actually digging the deconstructed garden .. I wouldn’t buy it, as I could make it myself, but it is an interesting concept … lol, I’m a loser!
March 19, 2012 at 8:59 pm
It is really bugging me that the lucky horseshoe is upside down. As a kid, I learned that if it was upside down, all the luck fell out. Of course, the woman who worked at my daycare who told us that might just have been making it up to entertain us.