From the Mailbag
Dear Helen,
My husband is one of the biggest geeks/Browncoat/Sci-Fi lovers I have ever had the privilege to know. He is also 27 years old and dying of a terminal brain cancer.
He’s managed to hang on for 28 months with a cancer that kills more than 95% within 9-12 months. However, he has been degrading in his condition and was placed on Home Hospice Care in January of this year.
I am writing to you to try and fulfill a wish of his; after he passes my husband wants to have a portion of his cremains kept in a TARDIS urn. (The rest will be shot off in rockets he has built over the years with his friends.)
This has proven to be a bit of a challenge for me. I am only 25 and have not been able to work for the past two years to be his full-time caregiver; so hiring someone to make a custom urn is a bit out of my price-range.
Is there any way your awesome C4FL Regresty Readers might know of someone who makes custom urns? Or someone to make a TARDIS urn for him? I have been an avid daily reader of regretsy.com for a few years now and my husband just adores the “This is NOT Steampunk” column (Before his cancer he was in school to become the first “Steampunk Architect”).
With his cancer (Glioblastoma Multiforme), we might have 3 months, or it might be a few weeks. I am really not sure how long it takes to make something like this, so I am trying to get this request of his addressed early, before he degrades further.
Please let me know if you are aware of someone out there who can make this. Thank you for your time.
I am putting out the call for an artist – either a sculptor or a ceramicist – to handle this very special piece. Please pass this on to anyone you know who may be a good fit for this project.
This is not a freebie. The urn will be a gift from the Regretsy fund, and we will cover the costs.
I am requesting a quick turnaround, so please consider this if your process is lengthy.
Please email me with ideas, sketches, photos and a link to your store or portfolio. I will forward submissions to the couple, and let them choose.
Thank you!
UPDATE: Friends have started a web page to help the couple with expenses. Click here to read more and make a contribution.
March 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm
I’m on it, and I think I know just the person.
March 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm
She’s a regretsy reader and has a degree in ceramics from ECU. She does beautiful work. She’s out of town for the day, but I’ve sent it to her…hopefully a few hours won’t make a difference?
March 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I hope your friend can help, beebs! This is truly a bittersweet request.
April 24, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Oh, yay! My alma mater! Hope it works out — Wash and Tashi are good people.
March 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm
If the urn is going to be buried many cemeteries have specific requirements for urn construction. It either has to conform to these requirements or fit in something else that does.
Will it be buried or not?
March 13, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Fuck cancer
March 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 14, 2012 at 4:12 pm
You know you said something stupid when you get 350+ red thumbs. Ouch.
March 13, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Making urns is not my bag, but if you email me I’ll happily send him some Tardis and dalek cake pops next week to brighten up his last days. I’ll email you
March 13, 2012 at 8:03 pm
Cake pops! That’s an inspired idea! I’m sure they’d love that, and I hope you get to send them.
Exterminate frosting!
March 14, 2012 at 1:14 am
I’m in the UK, so Dr Who is a bit of cult here and I do get a lot of requests. Here’s some I prepared earlier:
A fresh set will be winging their way to them next week
*feels all warm inside*
March 14, 2012 at 6:36 am
Nicely done! Almost too cute to eat, too. …Almost.
March 14, 2012 at 10:17 am
Totally just liked you on FB. Those look yummy!
March 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Extermin-ate!
March 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Such a cool idea! I am sure one of the FJLs will do a fantastic job on the project. It won’t be me. I just want to see pictures of the finished product!
March 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm
I forwarded this to a bunch of friends who are not Regretsians. Told them that I’m sure one of us will come through, but it doesn’t hurt to spread the word and if they don’t know any ceramists, I do know they’ll be sending very good thoughts.
March 13, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Shit. I clicked through hoping for some fun flounces, and now I’m all weepy. I hope this can be made to happen, and I’m sorry it has to be.
March 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Yeah, I did, too. I don’t know how I’d handle my husband dying of cancer–this gal sounds like a strong one!
March 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm
And they’re both so young. Life is SO unfair, so fucking inhuman sometimes. When I read their ages I truly started to tear up.
April: Will you be taking donations for this? You said the cost is coming out of the Regretsy fund, but I don’t know if you’ll be taking donations.
March 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm
*inhumane*
Whatever. Fuck cancer!
March 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm
it’s inhuman, too. It’s so unfair, I can’t even begin to express my feelings about this.
March 13, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Yes! WePay Donations! And this time no worries about PayPal shitting on the last hopes and dreams of a dying man.
March 15, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Because you know they would.
March 14, 2012 at 10:20 am
My husband and I are 28–if I were to lose him tomorrow, I’d be devastated. I have a hard enough time seeing him when his back is in so much pain that he can’t move.
March 19, 2012 at 6:05 am
My hubby and I are in our early 40′s and it’s the same for me stallingsja. He has chronic back problems too and it is never easy to see him in pain.
But I cannot, possibly say I understand how this incredibly brave and loving young couple feel right now. I just hope that his last wishes are met.
March 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm
This has made me incredibly weepy too. This is what makes me proud to be part of this community! All snark and bitchiness aside, y’all rock.
March 15, 2012 at 1:56 am
Absolutely. Regretsy’s been the most selfless and generous community I think I’ve ever had the privilege of lurking about in.
March 14, 2012 at 2:15 pm
My dad died a slow, terrible death from this exact form of cancer not too long ago. The cascading seizures were almost as bad as the Flowers-for-Algernon awareness he had of his failing intellect. Jesus Christ, but I wish I could rearrange time and space to spare this couple from this particular cancer.
Oh, yeah. Feeling it for you with the big-time weepiness over here.
March 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm
I’m sorry about your dad. My mom died of this same cancer too. Agree that the worst part was the “Flowers for Algernon” realization. Cruel.
March 19, 2012 at 2:43 pm
I lost my Mom to a GBM 5 months ago. What I hope readers on this site realize is that there’s brain cancer, and then there’s GBM, which is one of the worst diagnoses a person can get. It’s awful on the person and the family. I hope this couple gets to enjoy their last days together. Sending prayers!
March 13, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Oh man, this just makes my heart ache so much. [hugs] to you and your family. Stay strong and geeks UNITE!
March 13, 2012 at 1:39 pm
I’m completely useless in this department but I know Regretsy will make something wondrous happen. *Thinking Good Thoughts* like NOBODY has thought good thoughts before <3
March 13, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I’m not that talented but I’m sending many hugs and much love. I lost my dad to cancer and my mom and sis are both in remission from different cancers. I have an idea what your going through. Stay strong.
March 13, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Strangely enough, this just showed up on my tumblr feed…
http://medicalzombies.tumblr.com/post/19242078247/caras-doctor-who-giveaway-its-that-time-again
March 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Also, this letter made me cry.
Cancer really sucks.
March 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm
I thought of the TARDIS cookie jar as well ( http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/d0dd/ ) Does that make me a terrible person? I think someone as awesome as her husband sounds would see the humor in the idea re-purposing a cookie jar.
March 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm
I don’t think it makes you a terrible person at all! I don’t see anything wrong with re-purposing.
March 13, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Dang, you beat me to it! Stupid job gets in the way of reading regretsy when the initial post is available.
To adapt this jar, I think actually a SMALLER urn could be placed inside. Or, the inside could receive a ceramic lining or glaze of some kind. The lid would require the same, perhaps with a way to seal it shut. You wouldn’t want to fire the whole tardis, so I think creating a mold of the interior, firing and glazing THAT, then fitting it into the tardis (polishing perhaps, and glue to secure it without knocking) would do the trick.
The cookie jar tardis costs about $30. Getting a ceramics person to generate a container fitted to the Tardis interior, with a lid to seal, would probably work just fine.
Bonus points if the tardis can still chat. The jar makes tardis-y sounds when you open it. Actual speech would be too creepy…
March 14, 2012 at 12:10 pm
Actually, they bag the remains….so it actually doesn’t matter where you place them. My grandmother was buried in a Tupperware (seriously – those were her wishes).
March 15, 2012 at 9:37 am
When my father passed away, we got his remains in a plastic box, which had a very sturdy bag inside of it with the ashes. It was a simple thing to take the bag out of the plastic box and put it into a nice box that he had picked out. But we didn’t bury him, he didn’t want a funeral or anything, so it didn’t need to be code. I think that Tardis cookie jar would be perfect in size, as long as it’s not going to be buried.
This story has me so sad. I’ve known a lot of young people with terminal illnesses, and it sucks, it SUCKS. I hate it.
March 15, 2012 at 7:41 pm
Was she a Tupperware salesperson, or just really liked the product?
(Asking in all seriousness. I like Tupperware.)
March 16, 2012 at 10:58 am
Yeah, I’ve got my daughter on my mantle in a crystal jewelry box. You really can put the ashes in almost anything as long as they’re not being buried.
March 14, 2012 at 12:15 pm
I can’t imagine why ThinkGeek didn’t already send them one. She wrote to them several months ago with her story and they donated stuff to them then. They are really awesomesauce about helping those in need. If one would work, I know they’ll donate it, or we geeks will.
March 14, 2012 at 12:49 pm
I thought of the cookie jar, too. A review I read somewhere, though, said it was uneven and poorly hand-painted.
March 14, 2012 at 2:04 pm
It’s plastic, and all the “made in china” greatness that goes with it. So yeah, it’s neat, but not something I would want a loved ones remains in. They deserve more respect than that, in my opinion.
March 14, 2012 at 5:48 pm
Mine was much nicer. Luck of the draw, apparently. (Or paint-by-hand-of-a-Chinese-eight-year-old, if you will.)
March 13, 2012 at 5:29 pm
I have the cookie jar. It’s plastic and not very durable.
March 13, 2012 at 8:05 pm
I had always wondered what it was made of because there’s no information.
March 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm
That’s really unfortunate. The website photos look metal, which would be great.
It could still be useful though for creating a casting mold for some other medium.
March 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Ah, goddammit! He seems so cool and she sounds awesome and strong. I’m sitting at work with tears in my eyes. Lost my mom to cancer last fall but she was 86, for fuck sake. This is so unfair! So glad someone talented will be able to help and you are fantastic for funding it.
March 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm
I actually know her, sort of, from another online place where one meets weirdos and suchlike. She is, not to put too fine a point on it, fucking awesome.
April 24, 2012 at 9:06 pm
I think I know her or maybe at least him from the first Serenity movie site that Universal put out. Bumming hard.
March 13, 2012 at 5:46 pm
I don’t usually cry here on Regretsy, but this is just too sad. What amazing people! I hope that his wishes can be fulfilled!
March 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Is Penelope Spiderworks still around? She makes these incredible police box coffee mugs…
March 13, 2012 at 2:41 pm
That’s exactly who I thought of, as well. I think she’d do an amazing job!
March 13, 2012 at 3:15 pm
I was also thinking about her. I think I’ll send her a facebook message.
March 14, 2012 at 11:26 am
That’s who I was thinking of!!! She does awesome work!!
March 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm
I can only paint, not make an urn, so I’m no use. I’m very sorry, but this guy is going to have a kickass resting place, and that’s good. I had a beer with my sister (who is currently in a biodegradable box in my mom’s closer) after her funeral. Set the box up with a beer in the chair next to me. I don’t know if that’s for everyone, but it made me feel very marginally better? That’s all I can offer – condolences and a very strange suggestion.
March 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm
I’ll be doing that on May 10 for my sister’s 43rd birthday.
March 13, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Not strange at all. We have a stout or tea or whatever with everyone who’s gone, every year, including some who weren’t even people. We miss them, and who’s to say it isn’t reciprocal?
March 14, 2012 at 10:13 am
We order my late Gram’s favorite cake and eat it in her honor on her birthdate every year. Usually, we wear some of the great old costume jewelry she left us. I know she’d appreciate the party to celebrate her life and her favorite treats.
March 13, 2012 at 1:49 pm
I’m not sure if this is appropriate for an urn, but it does make Tardis sounds as well as being a Tardis shaped container http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/d0dd/
Stay strong!
March 14, 2012 at 4:48 am
It was suggested up there and someone has one. Apparently, it’s plastic and not very sturdy.
It might be for the best though. I like the idea of something created specially for this brave couple…
March 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm
: ( Very sad to read this. I know a talented Regretsy reader will come through for you.
March 13, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Aw! ((((BIGSQUISHYHUGS))) to this lady (or man? Husband doesn’t really tell me anything any more:) and their hubby. If I had the talent I’d do it in a heartbeat. I hope this urn becomes a reality I really do! I also hope that by some miracle he won’t need it.
March 13, 2012 at 1:58 pm
OMG! I’m a regular reader of her blog. I didn’t know she was a Regretsian too.
I was considering nominating them for an April’s Army fundraiser, but is that only for Etsy sellers? Because this chick and her hubby are total geeky awesomsauce.
Next time she has to fight her state for healthcare, we FJLs should join in the shaming. I really wish I’d have known earlier they had a Regretsy connection. I’d have asked for help for them.
March 13, 2012 at 8:07 pm
I’d love a link to her blog, please.
March 13, 2012 at 8:50 pm
http://washandtashi.blogspot.com/
They’re a public blog, linked to others, etc, so I don’t think I’m doing anything creepy here. Very cool couple.
March 13, 2012 at 9:20 pm
Thanks!
March 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm
I can’t do that click to email thing, default mail server blah-blah-blah what email address should I respond to?
March 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm
helen at regretsy dot com
March 13, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Done, thanks.
March 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Never before have I wished so hard that I’d stuck with ceramics…
This request really touched me. Someone will make it so. Blessed be.
March 13, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Yeah – ceramics isn’t one of my forté skill sets, and if it was, I’d drop everything I was doing this week to make it happen.
I’m sure April is probably waiting until after the artist is selected to put up the donation link, but as soon as it does, I’m thinking we can all chip in for it. That and maybe a little something to help them out with other expenses.
March 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm
“it does” = the donation link goes up.
I just re-read that and realized it could be construed as assigning the pronoun “it” to April. Which is NOT (obviously) what I meant to do.
March 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Let me seriously echo the ‘FUCK CANCER’ sentiment.
It’s horribly sad, but the one thing that makes me happy is that if it’s posted here, some FJL is going to come through and make this happen. No doubt about it.
March 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm
This post made me sad. Having lost my husband to cancer last year, my heart goes out to this couple. Fuck cancer. Fuck it right in its ear!
March 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Very recently my family and I lost a loved one to Glioblastoma. He persevered for almost two years to the date of his diagnosis. It is horrible to have to deal with the loss of a loved one, but there is a glimmer of hope seeing that another person has held on for so long. You have my sincerest condolences while going through this. I have passed this on to all of my artist friends, since I am not skilled in the art of clay. Stay strong and love him, he seems like an amazing man.
March 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm
If worse comes to worst, look into Tardis cookie jars. I just did a search and there are ceramic ones out there.
We didn’t want to put my sister into a morose urn so we got her a Tigger cookie jar. Now I have to break her down into several smaller zip locks and stuff her in (the opening was too small to just drop in the bag).
I’m very sorry about her husband. My friend just lost her husband a few days ago from pancreatic cancer.
BTW, I think a Serenity would be awesome for an urn.
March 13, 2012 at 4:05 pm
I actually saw an urn that a glassmaker made for himself before he passed away while at my aunt’s burial. It was a beautiful thing made of stained glass, and shaped like a little box and done in opaque stained glass. An urn can be anything – it needs but to have meaning for the bereaved.
March 13, 2012 at 7:42 pm
I know it’s not the same as losing a human family member, but I had a glassblower make me an urn for my lovebird. I sent her photos of him, and she chose colours for the urn based on his feathers. It’s turned out beautifully. Luckily, I haven’t had to use it quite yet. …. and my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer a month ago. FUCK CANCER indeed.
March 14, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Urns on Etsy made the urn I have my beloaved first Akita in.
March 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm
I’m not sure if this person is on Regretsy, but I came across this the other day, and it looks very nice at an excellent price: http://www.etsy.com/listing/88539574/blue-police-box-tardis-sculpture
March 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm
This looks like a great idea. Maybe the maker can cast one with a hollow center or can just put his cremains in the cement. That’s actually quite common these days.
I’m wondering if the couple is in the Portland area. We don’t have any money but I’d love to be able to get them a home cooked meal or even just mail some cookies.
March 14, 2012 at 7:24 am
I believe they’re from Arizona.
March 13, 2012 at 2:55 pm
So sad, had a proper cry. Wish I could help, just lack any artistic talent.
Good luck in finding someone to help.
March 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm
No jokes here, just love for this young couple.
March 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Sent an email to The Crucuble in Oakland, CA seeing if anyone of their staff might be interested. These guys teach black smithing and other industrial arts so hopefully there might be something they can design for a decent price.
March 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm
April, you and the folks of Regretsy are angels.
March 13, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Sad story.
I’d imagine someone will be able to oblige with a ceramic piece, but if they don’t, I think one could be 3d-modeled with something like sketchup and the bits could be 3d printed in metal and epoxied together. That would look pretty cool and it’s pretty nerdy too
Best of luck with your quest and I’m really sorry for you both.
March 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Here’s a free model, which would need some work to componentise it and give it an interior:
model of tardis
Here’s a printing service:
ponoko
(don’t think I’m being a cheapskate, please!!)
March 13, 2012 at 4:21 pm
and again:
tardis model
March 13, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Hugs from me too – my mum is going through chemo for her brain cancer and when she goes (its not looking good) I want to put some Mills & Boone books and a box of chocolates in with her for her trip.
March 13, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I have NO abilities with clay, however I do make jewelry. Please ask her if she would like something like a memory charm or something that would remind her of him. I can make awareness ribbon jewelry, but I know some people don’t want that. I want to give her something to wear. etsy store rkbb79. I will post more photos in the next few weekends of stuff I have made (I have about a hundred items not listed yet.) Let Beebs know if you want it. She can get a hold of me.
March 13, 2012 at 4:56 pm
this made me cry, cancer has killed both my parents, cancer can go fuck itself, i dont know why more money isnt being out into finding a cure
March 14, 2012 at 4:53 am
The problem is that cancer isn’t one disease – it’s almost a thousand diseases. Almost a thousand very, very, very complicated and aggressive diseases.
Rest assured that there is a LOT of money in research right now and there are thousands of caring folks all around the globe working on those diseases. They’ve even made great progress on many of them.
I hope thinking of it that way helps you to feel better.
March 14, 2012 at 10:30 am
I appreciate that building awareness of more obscure cancers is necessary, but wish more of the awareness movement focused on explaining that cancer is a blanket term for innumerable diseases where cells grow wildly put of control. Make the public aware of “metastasis” is and what the p53 gene is. And yes, let me also say fuck cancer. I just found out yesterday my aunt’s cancer is back with a vengeance and has metastasized throughout her abdomen. Know where she works? Doing fundraising work for the ACS. I feel so much empathy for this brave young couple. May you both find peace and a place of understanding.
March 14, 2012 at 11:55 am
Hear, hear!!
March 14, 2012 at 11:47 am
I don’t know why more money isn’t going to finding a cure either.
My boyfriend works at one of the top genetic research centers in America. They do a lot(a LOT) of cancer research. Back when the whole big budget dilemma happened, the government cut a lot of medical funding. Which meant that this center had to cut back on a lot of things. So many people were laid off that it made the news.
It sickens and frustrates me that more people don’t see the need to fund these centers. The research they do is amazing. My boyfriend is currently working on Alzheimer stuff, and they’ve previously done pediatric cancer, the human microbiome, and the cancer genome atlas, to name a few.
The work they do is incredible.
March 14, 2012 at 11:53 am
Also, they are fucking awesome at making this research cheaper/quicker too. Let me just give you an idea:
The Human Genome Project was a project to sequence the human genome. The idea for the project was formed in 1989. It got started in 1990. It was finished in 2003.
It was expected to take 3 billion dollars.
Now, to quote my boyfriend they “do that shit many times a week, for about 100 grand or less”(I realize that 100 grand still seems like a lot, but vs 3 billion, it’s a pretty significant change).
And they say the prices will be even lower in a few years. It’s expected to become low enough for the average person to afford it, which will be great because you can sequence someone’s genome and find out what diseases they are pre-programmed to have(like what diseases are in their genetic coding), and catching cancer at it’s earliest is the best!
So yeah….Support your local genome center!!
March 14, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Donating stem cells in the form of cord blood is also a good step. I did that with both babies – why should I pay to store it for JUST me, when they can use it in research or in treatments of others??
March 17, 2012 at 9:25 am
They are also doing research into the stem cells that are stored in human fat cells. I figure if they get that done, I could become the universal donor…
March 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Fuck you, cancer!
What a wonderful wife she is, I have no doubt this request of hers will be filled by one of our own talented FJLs.
I’ll be thinking happy thoughts for you.
March 13, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Cancer is devastating at any age, but 27 is just too damn young.
I’m not the least bit talented, but I know a FJL will come up with a great design. Is there anything else we can do to help this couple out, even if it’s just a gift card to cover dinner or something?
March 13, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Is there any way we can send them stuff?
March 14, 2012 at 7:26 am
They have a P.O. Box listed in their blog page:
Wash and Tashi Pratt-King
PO Box 27716
Tempe, AZ 85285
March 13, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Really wish I could help with the requested project – after reading Regretsy since the beginning, I registered just now to post. I am also in my 20s and this really hits home after losing my uncle to cancer. I don’t have access to a ceramics studio, but I ‘m a painter (mainly birds, textural abstracts, and portraits) and I’m open to painting anything for this couple and getting it in the mail within the week.
March 13, 2012 at 5:25 pm
I already had a personal hate-on for head and neck cancers, but this is just pants. Can we contribute to the costs of the home hospice care? I live in one of the pinko commie countries, so I’m not sure of the costs but I can only imagine they are astronomical.
March 13, 2012 at 7:53 pm
If it’s any relief, hospice care is covered by all insurance carriers, state Medicaid and the federal Medicare program. Additionally, most hospices will cover the cost for a person without other coverage as a humanitarian function. Hospice is truly available to everyone.
March 14, 2012 at 10:41 am
Actually, this couple have been fighting a pretty tough battle in their state for their insurance to cover their hospice care. There IS a fund set up for them to help with those costs, though: http://fundly.com/thecommunecares
March 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Forwarded to a friend who is a ceramicist. And, yeah, fuck cancer.
March 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Beyond the Regretsy fund for the urn, what other help can the fat, jealous losers give? She mentioned she’s not working – can we set up a fund for her? Is there somewhere we can send a personal donation? Please let us know what else we can do…
March 14, 2012 at 10:42 am
Yeah, here is the link: http://fundly.com/thecommunecares
March 14, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Hmmm. So what’s the best place to donate? Or does it matter? There’s the link above, but someone farther down this thread also posted their blog – http://washandtashi.blogspot.com/ & it’s got a “donate” button, too.
Is there anyone close to the couple who knows if one is better than the other? Or if she has a preference at this particular point in time? Maybe if we figure that out, Helen can post it?
March 14, 2012 at 1:40 pm
D’oh! Just saw the update!
http://fundly.com/thecommunecares wins – heading there to donate now!
March 13, 2012 at 6:34 pm
This is what I geekily want for my cremains. (Great word for a sad concept.)
I hope that the Tardis urn carries him anywhere in time and space his soul wishes to go or the Tardis wishes to take him.
The Tardis does not always take its occupants where they want to go, but sometimes takes them where they need to go. What more could any of us wish for if we are fortunate enough to discover ourselves occupying an afterlife?
March 13, 2012 at 6:42 pm
I’m 24 and my husband is 28, and I can’t even imagine having to go through this. I can’t help, but I hope that his wish is fulfilled, although obviously more dearly I would hope that he would pull through by some miracle and you two would get to live long and happy lives together.
March 13, 2012 at 6:51 pm
This is totally right up my alley (I am a ceramic sculptor). I have sent my portfolio, and I hope they pick me to do it! I would be so honored.
March 13, 2012 at 6:57 pm
I wish I had the ability to make this item. My heart broke reading this.
March 13, 2012 at 7:26 pm
I can’t even imagine how hard it is to lose your spouse, let alone watch them whither away before your eyes. I too am among the non-artistic FJLs but count me in for a donation, something helpful to lighten their burden or anything else that we can do!
March 13, 2012 at 7:27 pm
This is close to home for me too. Fuck cancer hard. fuck it.
March 13, 2012 at 7:43 pm
I can’t imagine how hard this must be for both of them. I would love to donate if that gets set up.
March 13, 2012 at 7:52 pm
Wow, this is so crazy I am running across you and Wash again. The last time I read something was back on ThinkGeek. Which I forgot to bookmark your blog.
I am so terribly sorry for everything that is happening, but am so amazed at the odds Wash has beat.
I don’t work with Ceramics, but do work with polymer clay. I wish I could offer my services but I fear my craziness won’t let me commit.
I truly understand what you are going through. I work from home, being as my husband is currently disabled. I hope someday to see him walk, but time and patience is what we need. He had his leg amputated back in Dec ’09. Before that I was caretaker to him and my Mom, my Mom was sick with lung cancer, while he was having issues with his eyes which lead to multiple surgeries. (We also have 3 kids)
I am well versed in how exhausting it is to be a caregiver and I truly wish there was something more I could do for you.
March 13, 2012 at 8:03 pm
What about this 15 ounce ceramic tardis with lid? Something sealed inside and secured might do it.
March 13, 2012 at 8:05 pm
My thoughts and prayers are with them. Fucking cancer, when will the find the goddamn cure already?
March 14, 2012 at 5:01 am
Cancer isn’t one disease. It’s almost a thousand diseases. Almost a thousand aggressive, nasty, complicated, hard to understand diseases.
The good news is that many of those diseases are curable and/or manageable because of all the great research hundreds of thousands of scientists have done over the decades.
March 14, 2012 at 8:59 am
I found a Tardis safe on the site. It has a lock and the light “gently pulses” continually. It also makes a Tardis noise when its lid is closed. I don’t know if Tashi would want that and the lights, but perhaps the lights could be disabled.
Personally–and it’s up to individual taste—I think that if I kept an urn of some kind, one that pulsed light would comfort me and remind me of the person, as if he were still there.
March 13, 2012 at 8:09 pm
Death makes fools of us all
the blind
the brave
the sick
the strong
Look upon
the mysteries
of life
the impotence
of mankind
powerless
against
the ebb of time.
<3 remember when he's gone, that the great and the good have often said, we are all made of stars.
March 13, 2012 at 8:23 pm
This is so heartbreaking. I will certainly donate what I can when April starts taking them.
As far as urns go, I lost both my parents a few years ago (one to cancer who can go fuck itself) and they are both in brass urns. They are kinda creepy and unoriginal, so to mix it up I put hats on them. I’m a strange person, but it helps.
March 13, 2012 at 8:24 pm
Currently, mom’s wearing a viking helmet, and dad is wearing a fez…
March 14, 2012 at 7:21 am
Holy crap! A hat is exactly what my mom’s urn needs–especially since she was a big floppy-hat-with-flower wearer.
I got her an urn that I’d thought she’d like (and “shared” a glass of wine with her when I, um, plopped her in), but yeah, it’s still not her. HATS! Thank you, Katastrophe84!
March 14, 2012 at 9:03 am
What a fabulous idea!! If I decide to have my cremains kept in an urn, I’m going to suggest a nice red fedora. Thank you for the story and the great idea!
March 14, 2012 at 9:48 am
I’m glad you all don’t think I’m too crazy- also they wear Santa hats around Christmas, Dad wears Shrek ears for Halloween as well. To make it worse, my friend suggested that I take parts from a Mr. Potato head, clip off the ends and add magnets so I can put faces on them…
March 14, 2012 at 11:28 am
Hee!
Plus, a hat on my mom’s urn will freak out my in-laws, so, win/win!
March 14, 2012 at 11:43 am
You do what you need to do. If you can’t play with your actual parents, you deserve to play with their urns as much as you want. I’m not going to judge anyone for that. Even if you went all Norman Bates, I think you have the right.
March 14, 2012 at 12:22 pm
I LOVE that. It’s about the person left behind’s feelings. What helps you feel closest to them is what’s right. Period. <3
March 14, 2012 at 10:57 am
Love this! Also, fezzes are cool.
March 14, 2012 at 2:18 pm
And as The Doctor would say: “I wear a fez, fez’s are cool.”
March 13, 2012 at 8:31 pm
My Artistic Ability only goes as far as recreating Donnie’s urn from The Big Lebowski (A Folger’s Coffee can). But this project sounds like an awesome way to be remembered.
March 13, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Steven Moffat, the current producer, has a Twitter account if anyone else wants to check for the possibility of a Very Official Who version for him. Not that a handmade one is no good – contrary, I think it’s very good – but if nothing else maybe we can get his final days filled with Doctor Who swag.
I’ve put in writing that I want the theme from the Tom Baker years played at my funeral so everyone can think of how I’m just going on to a new time and space.
March 13, 2012 at 9:01 pm
I just dropped him a line. If anyone else wants to try to get his attention, he’s @steven_moffat. I’m sure if we catch his eye, he’ll do something; he seems like a nice man.
Also, fuck cancer right in its eye.
March 13, 2012 at 8:49 pm
I know you’re probably looking for something more personal & someone here will do something remarkable, but just in case this is a UK Company that makes one. 3rd row down middle picture – Police Box Tall Ashes Casket. Not sure about prices or shipping, but I’ll be happy to chip in if that’s the one you decide on!
J
Tardis Ashes Casket
March 13, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Unfortunately, it says on their FAQ page that they don’t sell to the public.
March 13, 2012 at 9:32 pm
Why the hell not?
March 14, 2012 at 4:58 am
Who the hell knows why other countries have laws about things like funerary urns or why companies decide to only sell wholesale.
It’s one of the eternal mysteries of life, death and business, I guess.
March 14, 2012 at 6:54 am
All you’d have to do is order the urn through the mortuary/funeral parlor.
March 14, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Then they’d have to pay some obscene markup. Funeral homes are notorious for preying upon the pocketbooks of the bereaved.
March 13, 2012 at 9:10 pm
Though it may not account for much, I posted about it on the official Doctor Who Facebook page, as well as my own. As a fellow Whovian myself, I simply have to do something.
March 13, 2012 at 9:28 pm
So incredibly sad. Let us know when we can donate. Lost too many to cancer. This blows.
March 14, 2012 at 10:45 am
You can donate here: http://fundly.com/thecommunecares
March 13, 2012 at 9:31 pm
This is heartbreaking.
March 13, 2012 at 9:37 pm
Besides ceramic – does anybody know a great woodworking artist? This would be great in wood and wood is already commonly used for urns:
http://www.perfectmemorials.com/sherwood-wood-cremation-urn-p-4026.html?utm_source=googleproducts&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=products&gclid=CNTG2JjH5a4CFQZ_hwodpzvvwg
March 14, 2012 at 11:19 am
Your user appeals to the Jr RN, old school vamp-geek and all other weird sides of me. OT I know but a lil levity is important.
March 15, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Yes, I was going to say the same thing. When my Mom died, my brother and brother-in-law worked together to build a box for her ashes. In addition to being beautiful, it helped them grieve.
March 13, 2012 at 9:46 pm
FYI, I just posted on their blog to let them know what’s going on around here and that the power of the FJL has been unleashed.
March 13, 2012 at 10:49 pm
Lots of comments from people wanting to help them out… on their blog, http://washandtashi.blogspot.com/ they have their address posted on the right side under the “Kindness of Words” header…
They live in Tempe and they like Girl Scout Cookies… we don’t get the good kinds here in Canuckada. But I’m sure I’m not the only one with a sudden urge to bombard some strangers with treats…
March 13, 2012 at 11:17 pm
Big Damn Heroes, both of them. I haven’t had it easy, but this puts my experiences in perspective, and I’m very grateful to have had the time I’ve had when I think about this young couple’s situation.
I wish I could do something to help fill their time together with more happy experiences.
March 13, 2012 at 11:26 pm
Arizona has to be the worst state ever. They care about the sanctity of life there, people! You can tell because of all their fucking wacky abortion laws. Just you know, don’t die there because then you’ll get denied hospice care.
Bastards.
Retweeted to my list of nerdy creative folk. Hopefully they come up with something!
March 13, 2012 at 11:40 pm
They both sound like tough, but loving people. The randomness of the Universe sometimes baffles me. It really does. I wish him peace and no pain and her hugs and strength for the future.
March 13, 2012 at 11:42 pm
Helen’s added a link to a donations page set up by Wash and Tashi’s friends, so I thought I’d repeat it down here in the comments.
http://fundly.com/thecommunecares
Will be adding what I can to it to help them, they’re part of my/our community, however far away they live.
March 14, 2012 at 12:47 am
I wish I could sculpt.
March 14, 2012 at 1:38 am
I’m a ceramicist – could totally do this. The funny thing is I made a ceramic tardis a million years ago in high school. I honestly can’t remember if it opens or if it’s glazed shut. My mom might still have it in a box somewhere. I’ll check with her. The thing is, my kiln is tiny, only 9″ high inside. Is a 9″ high Tardis ok?
March 14, 2012 at 6:49 am
FWIW, when we were buying urns for our pets the guidelines stated to select one with a capacity where one cubic inch equals approximately one pound of the deceased. That formula has worked out pretty well.
March 14, 2012 at 9:20 am
He doesn’t want all his ashes in the Tardis, so 9-inch Tardis might be nice and roomy.
March 15, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Hey, so this is you right? I sent an email to Helen, which I’m guessing she’ll forward to you. Let me know what’s up with the Tardis offers, I’d be honored to make one for you guys.
March 14, 2012 at 4:34 am
it wont let me donate
As a fellow whovian i wish i had the skills to make this wish come true.
March 14, 2012 at 6:49 am
Try again, it let me donate this morning.
March 15, 2012 at 12:18 pm
still seems to hate me.
Anyone know any other donation sites they’re using?
March 14, 2012 at 7:06 am
Fuck cancer, indeed. Makes me wish I were at least a talented FJL, but at least I have a credit card. For a change, the bitter tears shed into my coffee cup this morning aren’t for my own wasted life. Cheers to this rag-tag community of ours.
March 14, 2012 at 7:16 am
I had to watch my dad wither away and die of esophageal and stomach cancer and it was awful.
He was 70, not 27. He was my dad, not my husband. I can’t even PRETEND to know what she’s going through.
I have no talent in ceramics, so I’m no help in the TARDIS-urn-making department, but I rock at sending good wishes!
And donating money, I can do that too.
I believe “Fuck Cancer” has been mentioned once or twice. Seconded, motion passed.
March 14, 2012 at 10:09 am
Fuck cancer. FUCK IT HARD AND WITHOUT MERCY.
My aunt just got married, and her new husband was just diagnosed with lung cancer. Cancer is fucking awful.
I’m gonna go cry a bit.
I can’t wait to see what comes of this (the urn making). I bet it’ll be awesome.
March 14, 2012 at 10:12 am
It’s way beyond my skills, but it would be nice if the doors to the Tardis urn could open, and a Memorial picture sealed inside.
Sending love and good wishes to them both and their family. I know somebody here can do this!
March 14, 2012 at 10:46 am
This upset me so badly I couldn’t even post yesterday. I just found out that a long time friend of mine has colon and liver cancer, and I am donating to a fund for her to go to Hawaii, or I would have been on this like a shot. I did post this where my crafter friends could see it. My heart goes out to this family.
March 14, 2012 at 12:23 pm
I just donated to the fund… I couldn’t donate much, but I wanted to help in any way I could. I don’t know if Tashi will have the time to read all the comments, but if you do read this Tashi, please know I’m keeping good thoughts for you and your husband through this, and I sincerely hope that his time left on this world is as painless as possible, and full of love and peace.
March 14, 2012 at 12:26 pm
ThinkGeek sent them a lot of stuff for Christmas. http://consumerist.com/2011/12/thinkgeek-makes-christmas-possible-for-cancer-patient-family.html
March 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm
This makes me feel happy about the scandalous amount of crap I buy from ThinkGeek. (pets Tardis USB port protectively)
March 15, 2012 at 10:18 am
ThinkGeek is awesomesauce about donating. You should feel happy, and proud. They donate at least $1000/month to various charities, plus a lot of give-aways in addition to deserving people. PLUS, their customers and Facebook and Twitter followers often set up donations pages for things. Be proud to be a geek and proud of buying from ThinkGeek, a company that has it’s heart where it belongs.
March 14, 2012 at 1:03 pm
As a fellow Browncoat, a Steampunk fan, and a human being, this absolutely breaks my heart. I wish I had a Sci-Fi talent that could help this poor couple. I’ll definitely donate to their cause as soon as the Fundly page lets me sign up.
March 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm
AHA!!!!!
I found it!!!!! And on Etsy, to boot!
An Etsy pottery maker who makes a Tardis Teapot, to order.
There’s absolutely no reason she couldn’t leave out the spout and handle, unless she’s sekritly a chinese reseller, which I seriously doubt.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/82548864/tardis-teapot-made-to-order-handmade?ref=sr_gallery_3&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=doctor+who&ga_order=price_desc&ga_ship_to=SE&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_noautofacet=1&ga_page=2&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=
March 14, 2012 at 2:30 pm
She also makes a Portal2 cube, in case these folks change their minds. $:^D I’d want one of those for my ashes.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/73103525/the-companion-cube-made-to-order-ceramic
March 14, 2012 at 5:58 pm
She says she’s taking a break, though…Do you think we could convince her?
March 15, 2012 at 10:20 am
She also needs three months lead time.
March 15, 2012 at 11:09 am
People say a lot of things. But it never hurts to ask, especially since this is not a normal commision.
March 14, 2012 at 2:45 pm
my heart is bleeding for them. <3 all those haters who flounce out totally miss the point of this big loving community. i know that someone will come through. they're a part of us and we love them and they deserve the best.
March 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Helen, when this all comes together will you post all the relevant artist info? My father died of cancer about six years ago and my mother has been hoping for a TARDIS urn ever since. It would really make her happy if I could buy one for her.
March 14, 2012 at 5:15 pm
This post made me cry. This post also pushed me from a longtime Regretsy reader to a member of the community. Donating now. I wish I had the art skillz to contribute.
March 14, 2012 at 8:52 pm
I bought a handmade tardis mug from Elizabeth Burtt facebook – https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=636670172 The mug was beautiful and a gift to my sister who promptly wet herself. I highly recommend Elizabeth for this task.
March 15, 2012 at 10:49 am
I work in cancer surveillance and would totally buy a “Fuck Cancer” t-shirt. Just sayin’.
March 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm
Gave $10 to this very noble cause. Raising money for people in need like this is great. Not too bad for a bunch of fat jealous losers.
March 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm
I don’t have much to offer—and I really hope you get to this comment before you stop reading this thread—and I really don’t know what you may have had in mind—but a few weeks back, I saw this item crop up on my Facebook feed via a Doctor Who status update: http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=404310.0
This incredibly talented young lady made this stained glass Tardis. I saw that someone else posted a comment along the lines of a stained glass urn. Maybe you all would like something like this. I think it looks beautiful, so I wanted to share her idea with you both.
This is the first time I’ve ever been compelled to create an account to post on a site on the first visit, btw. I can’t express how much emotion I feel for you both :’C
March 16, 2012 at 12:12 am
That looks really great, maybe worth emailing the link to Helen?
March 15, 2012 at 5:30 pm
This is heartbreaking. When my daughter died we had her ashes put into the teddy my MIL gave us when she was born. I have shared their story in the hope to get more traffic for them. I have a lot of friends who are fans of the Dr so hopefully someone can help out.
March 15, 2012 at 6:27 pm
I’m not sure if anyone has posted this yet but, http://decorative-urns.com/cremation-blog/custom-cremation-urns/custom-cremation-urn-call-box/ . Much love to them.
March 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm
The original email made me weepy. April’s offer to cover the costs out of the Regretsy fund made me cry. Spankyb’s offer to send them Dr. Who cake pops turned my crying into sobbing. You FJL’s fucking rock.
March 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm
Instead of botching their wonderful urn, we chipped in a bit at the donation site! Starts at $10, and they are at almost $7000 of a 10 grand goal!! This story is so heartbreaking, and we wish no one would ever have to hear terminal and cancer together. Thanks April, for promoting their story. Wishing the best for them.
March 17, 2012 at 9:12 am
I’ve only started making these and as I was making the last one I thought, “You know, this might make a cool burial urn, if it could be sealed.” Anyway, if they like it, I’d be happy to make one for them. Well, not happy, given the circumstances, but you know what I mean…
March 19, 2012 at 10:20 am
This is so fantastic! Is it supposed to be a cookie jar under other circumstances?
March 19, 2012 at 4:10 pm
It can be for whatever you’d want to put into it, but it’s a perfect size for a pound of coffee.
March 19, 2012 at 10:25 am
If I had any skills in ceramics, I’d be on this. I’m such a Whovian! (I built a Human TARDIS for fucksakes
) … sadly, I am a horrendous ceramic artist … I’ve tried my hand at it various times and I just suck at it … I think it’s an issue with patience as I get crazy when my walls don’t stick. *sigh*
I do want to be a little non jealous fat losery here for a minute though and want to convey my sympathy to the family here. It always feels wrong when someone so young and vibrant gets snuffed out by a disease like this. Thanks for sharing your story and I hope that your husband will indeed find the relative dimensions that he seeks
Sending you both love and good will!
TARDIS love for all!
March 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm
The Human TARDIS is very cool!
July 7, 2012 at 2:57 am
As some one said wood is mostly used for urns like http://www.memorials.com/wood-urns.php
I am looking for ceramic so any advice would be helpful.