My mom referred to it as the “little butt” when I was really young. She’s obviously neglected to tell me about the Australian heritage lurking somewhere withing the family tree.
Did WHO say “penis pack”? This person is having audial hallucinations, and they’re all saying “penis pack”, and that would be tragic if it weren’t the greatest thing ever.
All the voices in MY head ever say are “burn down the building.”
They make “packers” that go from relaxed (to pass as the real deal in public) that are also able to be used to give a good shag. I mean…that’s what I’ve heard.
Kiki- a company in Germany is currently working tirelessly to bring the FtM community a packer that not only looks, feels, and hangs just like the real thing, but we can pee through it while standing up. It will attach with prosthetic adhesive and remain in place without a harness for days, possibly weeks at a time. SCIENCE MARCHES ON.
It will also cost at least 300 Euros. If I had the money, they’d be free to shut up and take it.
That was my first thought. I’ve got a couple of FtM friends, and all I could think was “Funny, that doesn’t look like the picture Alex posted on Tumbler.’
I was wondering how it can be “made to order” while the listing makes it sound like “they’ll all be black with multi-colored bands and you will like it.”
I totally should have had the doctor put in a zipper when she sliced me open to take the baby out. Then I wouldn’t have to ever answer the question about repeat c-section or VBAC again, I would just point to the zipper.
If my vagina and uterus had a zipper, delivering my first child, who was 10 lbs. 7 oz. would have not required a C-section. Maybe there is something to that thought.
Damn. I’ve been hoping to find a knitting group in my area, but now, thanks to Erik at the link, my expectations have been set impossibly high. “Hi, can you folks knit and name a vagina bag without any pearl-clutching? No? Goodbye.”
Damn! I wish I’d thought of this! It’s my job to make Willie Warmers for all new male family members. (The position was passed on to me from my grandmother)
I seem to remember reading somewhere that even back then, men were concerned with penis size. Bigger codpieces = perception that your junk is bigger. Kinda like stuffing a sock down your pants. Eventually they got so huge that men used to keep their change purses and food in them.
I wonder how much it stretches. My bf’s gets quite saggy, looks like it would have a lot of room. I would hope that the penis pack would be true to life in that regard.
I would also like a pattern for it in crochet, please. I wanna put a beaded white tassel coming out the end.
Do a search for “Penis” on Ravelry. You could easily adapt a penis cozy (aka willie warmer) to this purpose. Or make a cozy for your bf to order. Just use a yarn and stitch with a lot of give (in knitting, I’d suggest a rib).
Oh it just begs to be knitted in a faux fur yarn. Or even an eyelash yarn that looks rather like pubic hair. Now that would be something I would have to buy.
Is it just me or is the…ahem… sack rather large in comparison?
I don’t think that “popular” is the word I would apply to fanny-packs. “Prevalent” maybe. “Obnoxious” would also work, as well as any variation on the “punch my face and steal my flab-purse, please” theme.
I saw that and immediately thought of John Wayne Gacy’s clown paintings. And, should Acid Bath reunite, that clown would make excellent album cover art.
Ditto. It reminds me of a troll doll my grandmother kept near the guestroom bed when I was a kid.
Now when I say “troll doll” I don’t mean the colorful little things old ladies stack around their bingo cards nowadays. This thing was gnarled, twisted, gray, and evil looking, with matted black hair and a long, curved nose with a bulbous tip. and it leaned on this curled little stick that was supposed to be a tree or something. It had amber colored nightmare eyes. It was deliciously creepy, in retrospect, but if you’re three and it’s watching you while you try to sleep, well – THAT’S the shit you remember for a lifetime.
It feels like a companion piece (heh heh) to the crocheted tampons. I dunno, it makes me think that somewhere a sock monkey bled to death so that these black marketeers could callously turn a profit giving us a place to stash our pennies. Cue Sarah Maclachlan …
I had been wondering what I could use as a hands-free solution to carry around my money, hotel keys, etc. in NYC this May that would be theft-proof. I loathed the idea of a fanny pack, and was afraid of purse-snatchers.
For realz, when I read “penis pack” I was thinking this was supposed to be some kind of crochet pseudo-phallus for “packing” for transmen. Kind of like those crocheted breasts for ladies who’ve had mastectomies.
It’s times like this, when I envision sending my five year-old daughter off to school wearing that abomination, that I realize: “this is probably why you’re not actually a parent”.
Am I the only one who is kind of impressed that it really looks/hangs just like a penis?
Overlooking the fact that it er, looks and hangs like a penis…
When I worked in retail it was bad enough when women would reach in their nasty, sagging sweaty, boob sack excuses for bras and pull out some crumbled ones, this though would have put me over the edge. I would have said something or called security on his ass, and the guards we had would have loved to give him a good mind fucking.
March 7, 2012 at 10:12 am
The last photo of him reaching his hand into the ball sack was the most disturbing one for me.
March 7, 2012 at 10:13 am
At least he wasn’t reaching up the urethra…?
March 7, 2012 at 10:39 am
That’s where he stores his pen.
March 7, 2012 at 11:07 am
That’s the only thing that would make this stiff.
March 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm
That, and a nice pair of extra large Neuticles® to plump up that pack.
March 7, 2012 at 3:06 pm
That’s where he stores his pen? So you’re saying that’s where his …pen is?
March 7, 2012 at 5:41 pm
That’s where he keeps Pen 15.
March 7, 2012 at 10:24 am
I think the most disturbing is how nasty pasty white and freckly he is. That dude is a firecrotch. So why the black ball sack?
March 7, 2012 at 10:30 am
The black ones are bigger.
March 7, 2012 at 11:07 am
Firecrotch? That sounds like a good reason to visit the doctor.
March 7, 2012 at 3:27 pm
That sounds like someone’s Pagan name…
March 7, 2012 at 11:35 am
Everyone’s got a dream.
March 7, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Nevermind the black ball sack, what’s up with the green stripes?!?!
March 7, 2012 at 3:01 pm
representing the Jamaican flag mon.
March 8, 2012 at 9:19 am
Figures a ginger would hawk something like that.
March 7, 2012 at 10:25 am
For some reason that photo made me think of my vasectomy
March 7, 2012 at 10:28 am
It’s the needles.
March 7, 2012 at 10:46 am
*shudderrrr*
March 7, 2012 at 10:48 am
A vasectomy gone horribly bad, look at the rotting tissue around the shaft! That doctor had terrible aim and dirty instruments.
March 7, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Well, it is important to do testicular self-examines…
March 7, 2012 at 10:12 am
It is so obvious that this is needed because they already have a fanny pack. It’s not fair to discriminate.
March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am
Just don’t get your Penis Pack stuck in your fanny pack…unless you’re into that sort of thing.
March 7, 2012 at 11:11 am
In some places, like Australia, “fanny” refers to lady-bits. Or, as one local shouted to me in exasperation, “It means yer front bum!”
March 9, 2012 at 12:34 am
My mom referred to it as the “little butt” when I was really young. She’s obviously neglected to tell me about the Australian heritage lurking somewhere withing the family tree.
March 7, 2012 at 10:13 am
Did WHO say “penis pack”? This person is having audial hallucinations, and they’re all saying “penis pack”, and that would be tragic if it weren’t the greatest thing ever.
All the voices in MY head ever say are “burn down the building.”
March 7, 2012 at 10:16 am
Whenever I’ve heard the words “penis” and “pack” together before, it has not been in reference to a knitted item.
March 7, 2012 at 10:29 am
I tend to think FtM aide, not ugly crochet bag. But, wth do I know. If I wanted a penis pack, I’d head on over to Babeland.
March 7, 2012 at 10:40 am
If I were FtM, I would not want a droopy penis. Kinda misses the point.
March 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm
They make “packers” that go from relaxed (to pass as the real deal in public) that are also able to be used to give a good shag. I mean…that’s what I’ve heard.
March 9, 2012 at 12:38 am
Kiki- a company in Germany is currently working tirelessly to bring the FtM community a packer that not only looks, feels, and hangs just like the real thing, but we can pee through it while standing up. It will attach with prosthetic adhesive and remain in place without a harness for days, possibly weeks at a time. SCIENCE MARCHES ON.
It will also cost at least 300 Euros. If I had the money, they’d be free to shut up and take it.
March 9, 2012 at 3:55 am
Now I’m thinking of Chris O’Donnell as an FtM on “Two and a Half Men.”
“They’re made of Teflon!”
March 7, 2012 at 6:00 pm
That was my first thought. I’ve got a couple of FtM friends, and all I could think was “Funny, that doesn’t look like the picture Alex posted on Tumbler.’
March 7, 2012 at 10:13 am
A *should* bag? As in “SHOULD I really be wearing this in
publicpubic?”March 7, 2012 at 10:18 am
Or it could be Freudian derp, as in “I should bag this whole idea.”
March 9, 2012 at 12:41 am
Freudian Derp is my new favorite phrase. It sounds more like what I do, since “slip” implies some level of intended grace.
March 7, 2012 at 10:42 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 7, 2012 at 10:13 am
I see your overcompensation is a knitted penis pack.
You know….most men just buy a Hummer.
Compare and save!
March 7, 2012 at 10:43 am
Most men don’t buy hummers, silly, they beg for them.
March 7, 2012 at 10:31 pm
Mine doesn’t. He’s very subtle about it. He rubs my back, gets me a bowl of ice cream, gives up the computer so I can play Skyrim…
March 7, 2012 at 10:14 am
I wonder if it’s available in smaller colors?
March 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Excuse me seller, can you change the size of the color?
March 8, 2012 at 9:21 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am
It’s also clearly circumcised. Wonder if there will be emails about the barbarianism of it all.
March 7, 2012 at 10:24 am
Breast bags for all/Circumcized penis packs for none
March 7, 2012 at 10:25 am
No, I bet they didn’t have the foreskin to anticipate that.
March 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm
The first thing I thought when I saw the green and golden stripes was “It even comes with a free cockring, sweet!”
March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am
Made to order…Does that mean I can request a certain size/color? Can the artist work from pictures?
March 9, 2012 at 12:43 am
I was wondering how it can be “made to order” while the listing makes it sound like “they’ll all be black with multi-colored bands and you will like it.”
March 7, 2012 at 10:16 am
On the bright side, it’s entirely reversible as a turd worn in the back.
March 7, 2012 at 11:43 am
And if the tie’s too long, a hernia.
March 7, 2012 at 10:16 am
I wonder why the seller doesn’t offer it in flesh tones?
March 7, 2012 at 10:18 am
(insert comment about color coding your small/medium/large sizes)
March 7, 2012 at 10:40 am
Talk to Crayola about that.
March 7, 2012 at 10:17 am
Fill it full of coins and run!
March 7, 2012 at 10:31 am
Or not, and preserve your ability to have children some day.
March 7, 2012 at 10:59 am
A person who buys that should not reproduce.
March 7, 2012 at 11:03 am
Wearing something that emasculating, they probably couldn’t.
March 7, 2012 at 11:13 am
Or candy…?
March 7, 2012 at 3:05 pm
That is disturbing on so many levels.
I hope you’re female. Otherwise the feelings I’m having towards you would be uncomfortable.
March 7, 2012 at 10:33 pm
Now I’ve got this stuck in my head
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr_ZHvY3no8
March 7, 2012 at 10:17 am
Why shouldn’t guys have a genital shaped pouch? Girls do, after all.
March 7, 2012 at 10:22 am
The vagina and uterus are not rectangular-ish and do not have zippers on them.
I hope.
March 7, 2012 at 10:39 am
That depends on how into body modification you are. >>
March 7, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 7, 2012 at 10:44 am
And not nearly enough places to put your keys.
March 7, 2012 at 10:53 am
I totally should have had the doctor put in a zipper when she sliced me open to take the baby out. Then I wouldn’t have to ever answer the question about repeat c-section or VBAC again, I would just point to the zipper.
March 7, 2012 at 11:16 am
Why not just make it standard? It could be a fun mother-daughter activity- getting matching zipper surgery!
“Mommy, mine is blue, just like yours!”
“It sure is, sweetie! Go on, try it out!”
“Ewww, I can feel my tummy! -laughs-”
March 8, 2012 at 7:12 am
She’d've charged extra. Do you have any idea what a pain it is to sew in a zipper by hand? (Granted, it would have been worth it for the reactions).
March 7, 2012 at 12:35 pm
No zipper: an oversight on Ma Nature’s part.
March 8, 2012 at 9:23 am
If my vagina and uterus had a zipper, delivering my first child, who was 10 lbs. 7 oz. would have not required a C-section. Maybe there is something to that thought.
March 7, 2012 at 10:25 am
It is true that a vagina pack would have a certain inherent logic to it.
March 8, 2012 at 9:24 am
A uterus shaped baby sling?
March 7, 2012 at 10:40 am
You are right. http://www.theanticraft.com/archive/imbolc07/snatchel.htm
Gotta love AntiCraft.
March 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm
There needs to be an award for Best Link of the Day.
March 9, 2012 at 12:49 am
Damn. I’ve been hoping to find a knitting group in my area, but now, thanks to Erik at the link, my expectations have been set impossibly high. “Hi, can you folks knit and name a vagina bag without any pearl-clutching? No? Goodbye.”
March 7, 2012 at 10:18 am
Damn! I wish I’d thought of this! It’s my job to make Willie Warmers for all new male family members. (The position was passed on to me from my grandmother)
I just HAVE to make one for my dad.
March 7, 2012 at 10:41 am
It obviously came from the original Willie Warmer, and just updated for the times. Our grandmothers would be so proud!
March 7, 2012 at 11:04 am
Mine actually would be, if she were still here. She was a kick in the pants.
Makes me kinda proud – half the stuff here I KNOW either her or my dad would have fun with.
March 7, 2012 at 10:19 am
We have these all over Renaissance Faires – they are called codpieces. This is rather small and limp by comparison.
March 7, 2012 at 10:27 am
I bet it was large and stiff when she was knitting it, though.
March 7, 2012 at 6:05 pm
I seem to remember reading somewhere that even back then, men were concerned with penis size. Bigger codpieces = perception that your junk is bigger. Kinda like stuffing a sock down your pants. Eventually they got so huge that men used to keep their change purses and food in them.
March 7, 2012 at 11:27 pm
I’d like to think that the food was, in fact, pieces of cod.
March 8, 2012 at 6:00 pm
I like to imagine eating some crotch-marinated fish from some 16th century dudes pants. Mmmm.
March 9, 2012 at 12:51 am
Or sporrans, if you’re Scottish.
March 7, 2012 at 10:20 am
I wonder how much it stretches. My bf’s gets quite saggy, looks like it would have a lot of room. I would hope that the penis pack would be true to life in that regard.
I would also like a pattern for it in crochet, please. I wanna put a beaded white tassel coming out the end.
March 7, 2012 at 10:43 am
Do a search for “Penis” on Ravelry. You could easily adapt a penis cozy (aka willie warmer) to this purpose. Or make a cozy for your bf to order. Just use a yarn and stitch with a lot of give (in knitting, I’d suggest a rib).
March 7, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Ribbed, For her pleasure.
March 7, 2012 at 10:58 am
It’s meant to “lift and separate”.
March 7, 2012 at 10:21 am
“Tanglewood Designs” – BWAHAHAHAHA!
March 7, 2012 at 10:22 am
Order it in red and green for a special “Santa’s Sack” perfect for Christmas gifts!
March 7, 2012 at 10:23 am
This is far from a purl-fect idea.
March 7, 2012 at 10:25 am
Could be worse; could be crotch-eted…
March 7, 2012 at 10:31 am
That had me in stitches.
March 7, 2012 at 10:23 am
Well, he’s got to store his precious jewels someplace, amirite?
March 7, 2012 at 10:23 am
If I hid my fireworks in it, could I call it a crotch-rocket?
March 7, 2012 at 10:28 am
Add some different stitching and you could even call it a crochet-rocket.
March 7, 2012 at 10:26 am
I know some women I could buy this for. It would bring them an immense amount of satisfaction to finally have their own.
March 7, 2012 at 10:28 am
I would’ve knit the ballsack with fluffy, itchy yarn.
March 7, 2012 at 10:44 am
Oh it just begs to be knitted in a faux fur yarn. Or even an eyelash yarn that looks rather like pubic hair. Now that would be something I would have to buy.
Is it just me or is the…ahem… sack rather large in comparison?
March 7, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Inguinal hernia big?
March 7, 2012 at 10:34 am
If it gets wet, wait until you get home before you wring it out.
March 7, 2012 at 10:36 am
Perfect gift for the men under the causeway!
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_Tuttle_Causeway_sex_offender_colony)
March 7, 2012 at 10:37 am
Does she sell the pattern? Because I’m attending an event where this would make spectacular gifts.
March 7, 2012 at 10:38 am
I don’t think that “popular” is the word I would apply to fanny-packs. “Prevalent” maybe. “Obnoxious” would also work, as well as any variation on the “punch my face and steal my flab-purse, please” theme.
March 7, 2012 at 10:40 am
so freaking tacky
March 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm
I’d agree, except I think this thing blew past “tacky” 10 miles ago doing 90Km/H.
March 7, 2012 at 10:41 am
So now all I need is a Bajingo Bag and I’ll be SET!!! Especially since for me, this would be a nap-sack…
WINNING!!!
March 7, 2012 at 10:52 am
http://www.etsy.com/search/handmade?search_submit=&q=vulva+bag&view_type=gallery&ship_to=US
and
<img src="http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_170x135.291729231.jpg"
March 7, 2012 at 10:55 am
derp
and the first link has vulva tea… I was too afraid to click
March 7, 2012 at 12:12 pm
IT’S LIKE MY DREAMS CAME TRUE!!! WITH EMPHASIS ON THE CAME!!!
March 7, 2012 at 10:42 am
hahahhahahahah i love how this: http://www.etsy.com/listing/85299906/ooak-circus-ragdoll-georgie-the-clown?ref=correlated_featured is listed as a “related item”
March 7, 2012 at 1:05 pm
I saw that and immediately thought of John Wayne Gacy’s clown paintings. And, should Acid Bath reunite, that clown would make excellent album cover art.
March 7, 2012 at 10:43 am
Would she add some curly fringe bits on the bottom for a more au natural look?
March 7, 2012 at 10:45 am
Personally, I would like a nice saggy titty backpack.
March 7, 2012 at 10:55 am
And when you lie down, it would rest in your armpits.
March 7, 2012 at 10:45 am
It’s supposed to read, “may be worn at waist or as a SHOULDN’T bag.”
March 7, 2012 at 10:46 am
I think the penis should be made into some sort of water bottle holder.Maybe even with a straw that comes from the tip.
March 7, 2012 at 10:49 am
OMG WANT! I want to wear this thing to the mall, the store, and to the bar!
March 7, 2012 at 10:49 am
“Pleeaaase, baby! Let me put my penis pack in your fanny pack!”
March 7, 2012 at 10:49 am
The tacky copper cock ring and green discoloration really make this special.
March 7, 2012 at 11:00 am
Do you think when she was knitting the penis, the yarn on the balls turned blue?
March 7, 2012 at 10:51 am
Put a cell phone on vibrate in the penis section and it becomes almost functional!
March 7, 2012 at 10:55 am
There once was a woman from Washington
who sold knit penis one-by-one…
March 7, 2012 at 10:57 am
Jesus, when a knitting experiment goes south, just frog it out. Don’t smoke crack and keep knitting.
March 7, 2012 at 11:04 am
cuming soon: the “vulva valet pack”? Available in small (tween) and large (over 50)!
March 7, 2012 at 11:13 am
a 100% wool junk holder. SOMEONE doesnt have dingly bits.
March 7, 2012 at 11:17 am
“You spent so much time thinking about whether you COULD do it, you didn’t stop to think about whether you SHOULD do it!”
March 7, 2012 at 11:17 am
Off Topic:
April, was this your dad in #5: http://www.11points.com/Music/11_Creepiest_Ventriloquist_Album_Covers_Ever?
March 7, 2012 at 11:29 am
Yes, and it is a super creepy album cover. My sister used to turn it to face the wall or she’d have nightmares.
March 7, 2012 at 11:35 am
I love how the dummy is giving your dad the side eye. Like, “You’re not looking for firewood, are you?…”
March 7, 2012 at 12:18 pm
I think he’s saying “YOU READ TOO SLOW! TURN THE PAGE!”
March 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm
LOL Jerry Mahoney was the master of the “side eye”.
March 7, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Whatever. Thoreau went into the woods with an ax, your dad took a dummy. That’s cool.
March 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Awesome! He really reminds me of somebody else, but I can’t figure out who…
March 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm
wow – Winchell’s album cover is just so…normal and UNscary compared to the other Freudian frightfests on that list.
March 7, 2012 at 2:24 pm
That “Amen” one is haunting me. *shudders*
March 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Ditto. It reminds me of a troll doll my grandmother kept near the guestroom bed when I was a kid.
Now when I say “troll doll” I don’t mean the colorful little things old ladies stack around their bingo cards nowadays. This thing was gnarled, twisted, gray, and evil looking, with matted black hair and a long, curved nose with a bulbous tip. and it leaned on this curled little stick that was supposed to be a tree or something. It had amber colored nightmare eyes. It was deliciously creepy, in retrospect, but if you’re three and it’s watching you while you try to sleep, well – THAT’S the shit you remember for a lifetime.
March 7, 2012 at 11:34 am
The last thing I need is ANOTHER big black cock hanging between my legs! I mean seriously…
March 7, 2012 at 11:42 am
brings new meaning to “dirty hippie”
March 7, 2012 at 11:59 am
It feels like a companion piece (heh heh) to the crocheted tampons. I dunno, it makes me think that somewhere a sock monkey bled to death so that these black marketeers could callously turn a profit giving us a place to stash our pennies. Cue Sarah Maclachlan …
March 7, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Crocheted sex toys are next.
“I SAID HARDER!” “I CAN’T! THEY USED A P15 CROCHET HOOK!”
March 7, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Ooh, I’m having SUCH a craftingasm right now!
March 7, 2012 at 12:06 pm
OH SURE! It’s okay with Etsy when MEN shave their junk.
March 7, 2012 at 12:08 pm
ONLY. WHEN. THEY. ARE. NOT. CIRCUMCISED.
March 7, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Or breastfed.
March 7, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Fantastic! I’ve been looking for something to carry my penis collection around in!
I’m also glad they specified “Adult” in the title. Without that I may have bought some to hand out to the neighborhood kids.
March 7, 2012 at 12:25 pm
I had been wondering what I could use as a hands-free solution to carry around my money, hotel keys, etc. in NYC this May that would be theft-proof. I loathed the idea of a fanny pack, and was afraid of purse-snatchers.
This would keep me safe from a mugging, for sure.
March 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm
Ha! Don’t be so sure!
March 7, 2012 at 12:26 pm
His typical sporin
Was gettin’ too borin’
So he made him a bawbag ‘n’ welt.
Celt…belt…too easy, Vicodin…
It’s time for YOU FINISH THE LIMERICK!
March 7, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Och, in me ‘ead all dee loong…
But alas, when he traveled
The poor thing unraveled.
He should have just sewn it from felt*
*or pelt, take your pick.
March 7, 2012 at 12:56 pm
…and.. another!!! use for Dead Squirrel Hide. A hybrid of sporan, codpiece and taxidermy – $50.00 made to order, hmmm….
March 7, 2012 at 12:46 pm
“Did you say Penis Pack?”
….
No. No, I really, really, REALLY didn’t.
March 7, 2012 at 1:03 pm
For realz, when I read “penis pack” I was thinking this was supposed to be some kind of crochet pseudo-phallus for “packing” for transmen. Kind of like those crocheted breasts for ladies who’ve had mastectomies.
March 7, 2012 at 1:22 pm
I wish the description said it was crotcheted.
March 7, 2012 at 1:25 pm
Is that a penis on your should or are you just a deluded fool?!?!?
March 7, 2012 at 3:12 pm
…..waiting for “My Average Size Penis” guy to arrive………
March 7, 2012 at 4:31 pm
The strap looks loose enough to slide to his? knees and trip him. Hopefully in traffic.
March 7, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Warning: Do not wear Penis Pack as shown around avid Hacky Sack players. This may result in injury.
March 7, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Huh. Well, everyone knows vagina packs can hold more stuff.
March 7, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Is it bad that I want one?
March 7, 2012 at 8:03 pm
It’s times like this, when I envision sending my five year-old daughter off to school wearing that abomination, that I realize: “this is probably why you’re not actually a parent”.
God help me should I change my mind.
March 7, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Am I the only one who is kind of impressed that it really looks/hangs just like a penis?
Overlooking the fact that it er, looks and hangs like a penis…
March 8, 2012 at 7:22 am
No, you’re not. In fact, that was the first thing I noticed about it. Mad skills, that. If only the artist would use them for Good and not Evil…
March 8, 2012 at 6:26 am
When I worked in retail it was bad enough when women would reach in their nasty, sagging sweaty, boob sack excuses for bras and pull out some crumbled ones, this though would have put me over the edge. I would have said something or called security on his ass, and the guards we had would have loved to give him a good mind fucking.
March 8, 2012 at 4:25 pm
In the summertime, it will hold $5 in coins, but in the winter, only about 17 cents.
March 9, 2012 at 7:36 am
Is there a Johnny Holme’s extension accessory?