Etsy or Regretsy?
One of the questions people ask most about this site is whether the featured merchandise is actually real, and actually for sale. Sadly, the answer to both of these questions is yes.
I guess it’s hard to accept that there are people out there who think they can get money for things like this. But God bless the deluded, for they are the ones who fuel this site, and keep Etsy in Mid-Century Modern telephone stands and miniature top hats.
To that end, we’ve been playing a little game here lately called Etsy or Regretsy? It’s been very popular, though it gets harder and harder to fool you people.
The rules are simple: At least one of these is a real listing on Etsy. At least one is fake.
Which is the Etsy and which is the Regretsy?
Answers will be posted in a few hours.
February 28, 2012 at 12:38 pm
Candle and lighter are definitely Regretsy…I think the rest is real, though!
February 28, 2012 at 12:57 pm
What candle? ^o.o^
February 28, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Did I say candle? Lol. Damn…graduate school cannot end soon enough! *Container.
February 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm
It can’t end until everything you say is wrong, so you still have a ways to go.
(I’m in the same boat.)
February 28, 2012 at 3:07 pm
I went the exact opposite. The lighter and Whitney are Etsy, the rest are (I hope) Regretsy.
February 28, 2012 at 4:06 pm
I’m thinking:
Regresty
Etsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
I better win something
February 28, 2012 at 12:38 pm
I think April made the googly eyed lighter.
The hair thing is defiantly Etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm
If the googly-eye lighter is Regretsy, I WANT IT. I will gladly pay $4. Convo me.
February 28, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Hands off, that’s MINE!
I offer $4.50!
February 28, 2012 at 1:10 pm
I am defiantly insisting it is complete bullshit, how’s that for defiance?
February 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm
There’s no way Helen made the lighter. First of all, she wouldn’t stoop down low enough to touch a hot glue gun. Secondly she’s too drunk to have used said hot glue gun that meticulously.
February 28, 2012 at 2:36 pm
They make googly eye stickers now. No hot glue gun required! Just peel & stick. :}
February 28, 2012 at 3:02 pm
But they make self-adhesive googly eyes now! Streamlining!
February 28, 2012 at 2:03 pm
I’m mesmerised by the googly-lighter. Those eyes seem to move every time I scroll up or down …
February 28, 2012 at 3:52 pm
I thought that was just me–and the alcohol!
February 28, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Ohhhh YAY!
Regretsy
Etsy, that’s some high quality barn wood and hipsterisms
Regretsy? I’m not so sure on this one.
Etsy, That’s some high quality Tragicrafting.
Etsy, Dirty hippies love to share their hair with the world.
February 28, 2012 at 12:49 pm
I second these picks. I’m going to put my Whitney Houston container on my dread-trivet (now I’m thinking of the Dread Pirate Roberts) in case the water from my plant leaks.
February 28, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Oh, please. Bronc would do a better job of photo shopping a costume on that cat, just because he’s too proud to admit he did such a lame ass job. The first one is Etsy.
But I agree with the rest of your picks.
February 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Ah, but if it were etsy, it would be priced higher than 6$
I’m going to go with @badmiya’s picks.
February 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Not enough alcohol. I didn’t realize it was SIXTY dollars. Now I’m torn.
February 28, 2012 at 2:42 pm
I agree, though it’s a close call on the lighter.
February 28, 2012 at 12:39 pm
They’re all too stupid to be real, so I will say they are all real, except the lighter with the googly eyes, because it’s such a cliche to call things “fun” on etsy now. Barnwood is cliche as well, but the spelling of President Clinto’s name sealed the deal for me.
February 28, 2012 at 1:09 pm
Maybe she meant to type ‘President Pinto.’ Our glorious country has a Poet Lariat, after all.
February 28, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Nothing says “put your food on me” like a coil of matted, unwashed human hair. God, I hope that’s not real, but I think it is.
February 28, 2012 at 12:50 pm
And nothing says “it’s dinner time” like the smell of burning human hair…
February 28, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Doesn’t everybody’s dreads burst into flame while lighting candles before the dinner party? Sheesh.
February 28, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Not really if the dreads are properly unwashed for months on end. You see, the collected dirt and oil build up raises the flashpoint. You might get a little smolder.
February 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm
The hair trivet has got to be Regretsy, because if it were on Etsy, you know it would be from a single pubic dred.
February 28, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Regretsy
Etsy
Etsy
Etsy
Although, I’m perfectly willing to believe that these are ALL etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 12:41 pm
sorry, the last one is also Etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Container and cat costume are Regretsy. At the least, I’m willing to bet you were NOT about to touch someone’s used dreads.
February 28, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Seconding!
Plus, where would they even get the dreads (or dread-looking material) for the image?
February 28, 2012 at 4:29 pm
I’m sure there are enough underpasses for the hippies to thrive in LA.
February 28, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Thirding! People seems really sold on the googly eye lighter. I don’t buy it. It seems like the kind of thing idle people do between pills.
February 28, 2012 at 12:41 pm
I say the cat and Whitney are Regretsy. Everything else, all Etsy all the time.
Especially that horrifying dreadlock abomination.
February 28, 2012 at 12:41 pm
PLEASE let the pet portraits and the Whitney Houston container be real. All those others things reek of ridonkulousness and disturbia, so they have to be real Etsy creations. I just hope that people actually really want to create pet art using 30 seconds of Microsoft Paint (and charge $60 for it) and also want to create something so… creeptastic and only charge $12 for it. “Prices so low, we should be GIVING them away!”
February 28, 2012 at 12:41 pm
A- I’m really not sure, and that is sad
B- Esty
C- that looks like a Helen Killer OOAK
D- see above
E- Esty
February 28, 2012 at 12:41 pm
If that Whitney Houston can is real, I’m going to have to jump off a bridge. Unfortunately, knowing the crap that Etsy spews out, I probably need to get my affairs in order…
February 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm
I stood in horror with my mouth gaping in line at the grocery store the first time I saw that casket picture in a tabloid. People have no decency, which means that thing is probably Etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 12:42 pm
Pet portrait – Regretsy
Rock, river, tree – Etsy
Lighter – Regetsy – price is too reasonable to be Etsy.
WH container – Regretsy (God, I hope this is Regretsy)
Dreadlock – Etsy
February 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Yep, I’m def agreeing with you. It’s horrid to put a casket pic on “regal red glitter foam” covered can… But uh… I’ve seen stranger things…
February 28, 2012 at 12:42 pm
Erm. I would totally buy that googly eye lighter… I think it’s awesome. I know, I’m ashamed! But I do… *sob*
Time for my tat-a-holic anon meeting!
February 28, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Your shame is mine, as well. As soon as I scrolled down as far as the top row of googly eyes, my inner voice yelled “WANTWANTWAAANT!!”
Judge me all you like, but I have always harbored a secret love for googly eyes.
February 28, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Do you have a secret love for googly-eyed dolls? There’s a lot of out in the world. Some are cute, others make me think there’s a market out there for dolls with thyroid conditions.
http://preview.tinyurl.com/7slglzj
February 28, 2012 at 2:24 pm
The other day I discovered that you can buy candy eyes to stick on cupcakes and other confections. They don’t move like googly eyes (I suspect it’s unfeasible to make) but they’re pretty funny all the same.
http://www.wilton.com/store/site/product.cfm?id=33AD3059-1E0B-C910-EACF0886EA62542C&killnav=1
February 28, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Yes, I’ve seen (no pun) them and you CAN get them in different colors; I always liked Jaundice Yellow for those festive Easter bunnies I’d make out of chocolate). They’re made of sugar and are edible. But those on the lighter are clearly (no pun) little bubbles with a black disk as the iris. They’re the ones you see on a lot of stuffed animals–shake them and the disk moves within the bubble.
February 28, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Oh, I’m familiar with regular ol’ googly eyes– I just thought Misantharista might be equally taken with candy non-moving googly eyes.
February 28, 2012 at 5:21 pm
The candy ones are cute, but not a replacement for the real thing.
But I thank you, FilliamHMuffman, for your attempt to broaden my googly horizons.
February 28, 2012 at 12:42 pm
Dinosaur-shit-poem rock: fake. Because it is stupid enough to be real, but I don’t want to believe.
Dreadlock coaster: Horribly, retchingly, real.
February 28, 2012 at 3:52 pm
The poem is real, which leads me to think that some seller on Etsy found it “deep” enough to base a collection of found objects on.
February 28, 2012 at 12:42 pm
Cat portrait and Whitney Memorial… thing… regretsy.
I hope
February 28, 2012 at 12:42 pm
If the Whitney Houston thingy is Regretsy, than you have WAYYYYYY too much time on your hands HK!
February 28, 2012 at 1:09 pm
But wouldn’t that be incredibly fun to make? Especially if it were just for this post?
Bring on the Franzia, I know what I’m doing this Friday night
February 28, 2012 at 12:42 pm
The hair trivet HAS to be real. There is NO WAY Helen touched that dread for us.
February 28, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Sweet Jesus, please let that Whitney candle be real.
February 28, 2012 at 12:43 pm
These things have broken me: this set in particular is terrifying.
I’m going with collection & dread Regretsy
Container & lighter Etsy
Cat costume via icanhazcheezburger.
February 28, 2012 at 12:43 pm
I think it’s the Whitney Houston memorial container because a) it has a lot of the “buzzwords” and b) the spelling, grammar, and punctuation are correct, an extreme rarity for an authentic Etsy posting.
February 28, 2012 at 12:44 pm
OK, to clarify (I skimmed the rules)—the Whitney container is Regretsy. I’m too lazy to look at everything again.
February 28, 2012 at 12:44 pm
The hair trivet is probably fake….it’s way too reasonably priced.
I think the candle is Etsy because if HKApril made it she would at least put the photo on straight for God’s sake.
February 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Would she? Or would she INTENTIONALLY put it on a little cockeyed, to confuse us even further? Hmmmmm.
February 28, 2012 at 12:44 pm
First one: Regretsy.
And that cat picture is a Level 1 in my opinion.
The second one has to be Etsy. It’s BARN WOOD, it HAS to be.
The rest are also Etsy.
The hair gives me disgusted shivers.
February 28, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Regretsy, Etsy, Etsy, Regretsy, Etsy. Please let that container be Regretsy.
February 28, 2012 at 12:44 pm
i think they are all Etsy except for the Whitney can.
February 28, 2012 at 12:45 pm
You said it much more succinctly than I did. But I’m drunk.
February 28, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Fake:Cat Costume and Whitney Houston Candle
Real: River rock found object sculpture, Googly eyed lighter and dreadlock trivet.
That dreadlock trivet makes me want to vomit (that’s how you know it’s Etsy)
February 28, 2012 at 1:47 pm
I agree with all of your guesses.
The cat costume was really hard to peg, but finally I decided that surely NOBODY could really charge $60 for something that could have been done by my eight-year-old, who I’m afraid has inherited my total lack of artistic ability. If this turns out to be real…I think I’ll drive hot knives into my eyeballs.
February 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm
After that, set up an Etsy shop and have your son do these custom portraits!
February 28, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Or daughter. Sorry–you didn’t specify.
February 28, 2012 at 2:57 pm
No worries – you assumed correctly
February 28, 2012 at 12:44 pm
the “object sculpture” must be fake. it is far too similar to the “a spoon, a face, and a feather” that we so recently revisited.
unless that was a purposeful smokescreen…i had better start drinking.
February 28, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Cat portrait, regretsy, oh please lord, let the
Whitney Houston container be regretsy. The rest are etsy,
DANG IT I WANT THAT LIGHTER AND I DON’T EVEN SMOKE!
February 28, 2012 at 12:45 pm
I call all real. Oh right, one is fake … ummm okay then I’ll say the Cat Portrait, even though I think it’s real. It’s totally level 3 Photoshop.
February 28, 2012 at 12:45 pm
FAKE
REAL
FAKE (Because if it were real they’d charge more for it)
FAKE (Because they’d have used “I Will Always Love You”)
REAL
I’m probably way off-base, but this is FUN.
February 28, 2012 at 12:45 pm
As much as I want the hair mat to be real, The font is different on all but the lighter. So I’m saying only the lighter is real(and the the photo edit is real I will actually kill myself).
February 28, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Real: cat costume, googly-eyed lighter
The Whitney Houston one is convincing, with the misspelling and all, but seems a little too much, even for Etsy bullshit.
February 28, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Ok let’s see:
Sadly the pet portrait is Etsy. After that spirit cat shit I can believe some asshole will charge $60 for that shit, and an even bigger asshole might actually buy it!
The rock tree river thing is Regretsy for sure. The dry dinosaur token thing smacks of too much fuckery to be legit:)
I REALLY want to say the googly eyed lighter is Etsy but the price is too low. Then again…
Whitney Houston commemorative thingy has got to be Regretsy. Please GOD tell me it’s Regretsy!
The dreadlock coaster is definitely Etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 3:55 pm
I googled “a rock,a river,a tree”. The poem is real.
February 28, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Cat: Regretsy
Found Garbage: Etsy
Lighter: Etsy
Whitney Houston: Esty
Hair: Regretsy
February 28, 2012 at 12:47 pm
I don’t care if it’s real or not… that lighter is awesome.
February 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
February 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm
I really, really hope the Whitney Houston one is a fake!
February 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm
How do you KNOW it’s real? DID. YOU. CHEAT? What did we say the last time about cheaters and cheating? Must I repeat myself???
February 28, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Oooh get em Mugsy!
February 28, 2012 at 1:11 pm
I’m sorry, I just really wanted it and couldn’t bear the thought of someone swooping in before me if I waited.
February 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm
Aw, Iieee, I understand. Believe me, I do, but April isn’t grading us and firsties don’t always get the gold star. You are free to look on Etsy for these monstrosities—just don’t SAY that you did it, ok? That’s where the problem lies.
So, are we good? Come here you sillikins—*hugs Iieee, ruffles Iieee’s hair*—we still love you. Some of us may love you less, some more, but love nevertheless.
February 28, 2012 at 3:31 pm
@Iieee: Go down to #102. See? I really DO understand…and I still did it! Even when I know not to do it, I did it. It’s hard to resist. :-\
February 28, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Oh, and now I have “Saving All My Love For You” stuck in my head. THANKS, HK!
February 28, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Ok, just because I fucking hate myself, I put “whitney houston” into etsy just to see what other gems there were to enrage me.
This should do it:
February 28, 2012 at 1:09 pm
What in fuckery’s name is that abomination? Did Whitney have a secret lion fetish we weren’t aware of? I mean COME ON. COME ON!
February 28, 2012 at 2:06 pm
That’s CLEARLY a Whitney Houston lion.
February 28, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Regretsy
Etsy
February 28, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Dammit, I found one of these listings and now I feel ill.
February 28, 2012 at 12:52 pm
The lighter is DEF Regretsy, and I’m going with the cat as Regretsy as well.
I’m hoping that container is real!
February 28, 2012 at 12:52 pm
The cat portrait is regretsy.
All the rest are etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Black cat is definitely regretsy because it’s juuuuuuust lazy enough to be made by winchell.
The dreads are etsy because april’s pubes aren’t long enough to dread yet.
February 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Yet?
February 28, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Cat portrait – Regretsy, because it’s too creative to be an Etsy Photoshop.
Found object sculpture – Regretsy, because they know who Maya Angelou is but can’t spell laureate or Clinton.
Googly lighter – Etsy, because I kind of want one. There’s nothing like finding googly eyes all over your hands while getting high.
Whitney memorial – Etsy, because there are no lengths to which tragicrafters will not go to demean the memory of a beloved celebrity.
Dreaded trivet – Etsy, because even you can’t make that shit up.
February 28, 2012 at 12:54 pm
If those googly eyed lighters are on Etsy, I think I need a dozen. Wait, that wasn’t the point of this exercise, was it?
February 28, 2012 at 12:54 pm
1. Cat Portrait, Etsy. Damn. But still, Etsy.
2. Rock River Tree Collection, Regretsy. As a proofreader, I sense this was written by someone who was putting the mistakes in on purpose. I mean, poet lariat?
3. Googly eyed lighter, Etsy. Why would YOU waste perfectly good googly eyes just to fool us, when there are ironic hipster beer bottles to sneak them onto?
4. Whitney Memorial Whateverthefuck, Etsy? I’m on the fence on this one. On the one hand, it’s truly horrible. On the other, it seems time-consuming and requiring a lot of crappy supplies. Perhaps I’m underestimating how much time you have on your hands…
5. Dreadlock Trivet, Etsy. Jesus Christ, that thing’s horrible. If this isn’t Etsy, I’m thinking you found the picture on Anthropologie and didn’t make it up yourself.
February 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Wow! Popular game! When I clicked on the link, there were no comments yet, and in the time it took me to write that, it made it up to 52!
February 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Poet lariats are real. Didn’t you see, at Bill Clinton’s inauguration, when Maya Angelou hog-tied Billy Collins?
February 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Regretsy
February 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Custom Pet Portrait – Regretsy
•It has the spirit of Etsy, but it’s too simple and straightforward. The truly delusional tend to put more effort into their crafts in the firm belief they are amazing.
A Rock, A River, A Tree – Etsy
•I’m sure I’ve seen this before, but it’s probably going to turn out to have been on Regretsy as an over the top plus one extrapolation of something inane on Etsy.
Google Eyed Lighter – Etsy
•This is what I mean by the deluded putting more effort into their work.
Whitney Houston Memorial WTF – Regretsy
•I’m guessing here. It’s horrible enough to be Etsy, and there has been a flood of these, but it’s just a little too on the nose. It hits every note: cheap material, emotive words, bad taste. The good spelling and grammar make me suspect an in-Etsy hoaxer as I’d expect HK to rite bad purpose-like. Flip a coin.
Human Hair Trivet – Etsy
•Authentically batshit insane.
February 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Cat Art – Bronc, who draws well even when he tries to draw badly.
Stuff on Barnwood – Helen, because “poet lariat” is hilarious.
Googly eyed thing – Etsy, because I am sure I have seen these.
Whitney Houston Tribute – Could go either way. I hope that Helen actually made this though, and plans to make it a door prize at Petja-palooza
Human Hair Trivet – Etsy, unless Bronc and Helen pulled this thing out of their own drain.
February 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 28, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Regretsy
Etsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
February 28, 2012 at 12:57 pm
I’m never any good at guessing the Depravity of Etsy, but here goes nuthin’:
1. Regretsy
2. Regretsy
3. Etsy
4. Etsy
5. Etsy
I will not be surprised if I’m 100% Wrong, too.
February 28, 2012 at 12:58 pm
1. Regretsy – It has to be regretsy, it lacks the glitter and cat puns.
2. Etsy – The lighting and the barnwood are too good to be a regretism.
3. Regretsy – A lighter bukkake’d by a bunch of craft googly eyes? Definitely Regretsy.
4. Regretsy – Amazing tragicrafting, btw.
5. Etsy – Gag, has to be etsy. Hipsters love to sell crap falling out of their body.
February 28, 2012 at 12:59 pm
I think the only thing that is Regretsy is the lighter. I can just picture Helen hunched over a desk, gluing those googly eyes on one by one while imagining the consternation us FJLs would feel.
In a perfect world, the Pet Portrait would be Regretsy too, but there is a sinking feeling in my gullet that it is unfortunately all too real.
I also am willing to bet that Helen has already purchased that Whitney Houston tragicraftedy for her collection.
February 28, 2012 at 1:43 pm
This is going to be offensive as hell, but when I see your username, I imagine an older, wise sounding Lakota Indian grandfather reading your posts with his wise, powerful voice. And as he reads, a small trickle of a tear runs down his face.
February 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Hey, no worries, I’M not offended >:D
I stole the name from one of those Adopt-A-Wolf programs in the 90s. The wolf was a dude, though, and I’m not, so it’s a bit creepy.
Now I totally WISH I was a wise old Indian grandfather, though :/ I’d look at all of these rock-glued-to-stick “found art” crap piles, weep that single tear, and say “Son, Mother Earth is disappoint.”
February 28, 2012 at 12:59 pm
1. Cat Portrait. Just lame enough to be Etsy quality. Etsy.
2. Rock, river, tree, etc. (or Dino crap, or whatever): it has the esence of trying too hard. Regretsy.
3. Googly eyed lighter. Are you kidding? Etsy was created exactly for shit like this. Etsy.
4. Whitney. Could someone stoop so low as to make up some crap like this for Etsy? Stupid question. Of course they could. But I still think this is a ringer. Regretsy.
5. Dreadlock Trivet. Heads it’s Etsy. Tails it’s Regretsy. Tails. Regretsy.
February 28, 2012 at 12:59 pm
I already have my money out if that pet portrait is real
February 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm
The first three smell like Regretsy to me (which, by the way, is an aroma reminiscent of vodka tonics spiked with Darvocet), but my fear is that someone actually would charge $60 for drawing over your cat in MS Paint. So I’m going with:
Etsy (too stupid to be true = Etsy)
Regretsy (too similar to recent snark)
Regretsy (too much fun to make)
Etsy (too much work for a drunk April)
Etsy (wat)
February 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Even Etsy wouldn’t charge $60 for the cat drawing, right? RIGHT?!
I think the dreadlock is fake. Damn you for making me put actual thought into how long a dreadlock would have to be to make it into a trivet.
February 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm
I have to say that the found object sculpture is Regretsy mostly because the they spelled Maya Angelou, inauguration, and lariat correctly. But didn’t finish spelling Clinton and put ot.
February 28, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Also I’m going to have to say that the hair trivet is fake because it isn’t creepy enough.
Whitney is regretsy, it just has to be.
The stupid ass MS Paint cat pic must be etsy as well as the lighter because it seems like some stupid shit you’d see on etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Lariat: A rope in the form of a lasso.
Laureate: The recipient of honor or recognition for achievement in an art or science.
P.S.: Someone please make Maya Angelou, poet lariat real with the magic of PhotoShop. Don’t forget her gaucho sidekick Bill Clinto.
February 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Etsy
Regretsy
Regretsy
Regretsy
Etsy
February 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Dreadlock and sculpture real, all else fake. Though that googly eye lighter? Hilarious.
February 28, 2012 at 1:06 pm
Cat: Regretsy
Whitney: Etsy. I tried to convince myself April made it while high on cough syrup, but couldn’t.
Hair trivet: Etsy
Lighter: Regretsy
Found Objects: Etsy
February 28, 2012 at 1:08 pm
Regretsy (please)
Regretsy
etsy
Regretsy (please)
Regretsy – and I call bullshit, it’s not even human hair, my Aunt had these fugly coaster things too. Deep Fried Christ, please make it so that some dirty hippy didn’t recreate these horrible things FROM THEIR FUCKING SKANKY HAIR!
February 28, 2012 at 1:11 pm
I have no idea but if the Whitney Houston one is real the seller should be beaten with the dreadlocked trivet after it has been lit with the googly eyed lighter.
February 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm
if the whitney thing is real then i think the western world can no longer described itself as a civilisation.
when will this game be revealed? even the possibility that this could be real has me teetering on the edge of sanity.
February 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm
1. Custom Cat Portrait – Etsy. Looks like Level 4 Cat has some new competition.
2. Found Objects – Etsy, because it looks suspiciously like another listing I’ve seen posted on Regretsy and I think April is too drunk to go to that much effort with the photos etc, plus the description is all lower case and Clinton is mis-spelled.
3. Lighter – Regretsy. I don’t know if Etsy allows selling/shipping full lighters and I can just picture April gluing all the googly eyes on this with a maniacal smile on her face.
4. Whitney Houston memorial – Regretsy. The spelling and vocabulary is too good.
5. Dreadlock Trivet – Etsy, because no way would April want to have to touch a severed dreadlock in order to make this.
February 28, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Although I am starting to second guess myself on the Found Objects one, I could see April typing it while drunk and thinking it was funny to put “poet lariat”…
February 28, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Cat Portrait – Regretsy
Rock and Stick thing – Etsy
Lighter – Regretsy (I think)
Whitney Houston thingy – Regretsy (or should be)
Hair Trivet – Etsy
I think that April laughed so hard that she is still giggling after making the Whitney Houston thing and the lighter and the cat portrait just looks like something she would make…maybe?
I’m not very good at this, so we will see!
February 28, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Cat: Probably Regretsy. Incorrect use of who’s and gratuitous use of ellipses and exclamation points suggest deliberate misdirection on April’s part.
Rock/river/tree: Regretsy, because I know how much HK loathes this horseshit, and, well, “poet lariat.”
Lighter: Etsy? Shit, I’m probably going to turn out to be 100% wrong, but what the hell. I do like that pink is not listed among the available colors, even though it’s the color shown.
Whitney container: My first instinct said “Regretsy,” but upon closer inspection, I’m saying Etsy.
Trivet: I have to say Etsy because a) I can’t imagine HK voluntarily touching that thing, and b) HK would have put more horseshit in the description.
February 28, 2012 at 1:18 pm
While the Rock, River, Tree found object collection is stupid enough to actually make the Front Page, I find “poet lariat” too brilliant to be a mere accident. It has to be the work of Ms. Killer!
February 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm
I kind of like the googly lighter, but I’m going to say Etsy for that anyway.
I also kind of like the kitty drawing, but there’s something so charmingly ridiculous about it, I think it must be a Killer/Drywall production.
Dreadlock trivet seems very Etsy to me.
Stupid rock and stick wrapped with green string, is, I hope to God, Regretsy.
And I can’t decide about the “tribute” to Ms. Houston, but since I think if it were on Etsy, it ought to have sold, I’m going to go with Regretsy.
February 28, 2012 at 1:22 pm
The dreadlock trivet is 100% Etsy.
The cat drawing is Regretsy (I hope).
The eye-lighter? Looks silly enough to be Etsy.
The rest is a toss-up to me.
How sad.
February 28, 2012 at 1:24 pm
Cat Portrait: Regretsy. As much gonja as the craftards smoke, I don’t think it’s enough to charge $60 for scribbling over a photo. Also, the wrong form of “who’s” is used in the description. Not that I would expect an Etsian to use it correctly but I think it would be further off the mark, like “whooz.”
Rock, River, Tree: Regretsy.(I hope because it has the “I made it to the hompage” logo)
Lighter: Etsy. April is too wasted off cheap wine and painkillers to glue all those eyes on straight.
Whitney Houston Can: Regretsy. Now there’s a crooked gluing job that looks like April’s handy work.
Hair Wad: Etsy. Unless Bronc picked this out of the trash at Burning Man.
February 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm
E E E R E (E = Etsy, R = Regretsy)
February 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm
My guess:
All etsy except for the cat picture.
I also really LOVE the lighter…if Helen did make it, she should auction it as it seems we ALL want one!
Note to self: If that cat picture turns out to be etsy, have a shop up tomorrow and have them churning out faster than any Chinese-reseller at the low low price of $10!
February 28, 2012 at 1:26 pm
In the interest of preserving my own sanity, I simply must insist that they’re ALL Regretsy.
February 28, 2012 at 1:27 pm
I think the Whitney Houston craft travesty is Regretsy, but only because the background looks like the same one from the Paula Abdul bird feeder.
I also think the barnwoodastic found object sculpture is Regretsy.
The others are Etsy.
On a side note, that trivet has made me a bit queasy, and I’m gonna have to go outside for some fresh air now.
February 28, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Honestly, I can’t decide. Everything here is just stupid enough to be on Etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 1:27 pm
I really hope all of these are fake. But I fear the dreadlock thing and the found object art thing inspired by the poet lariat are real.
(that’s the best misspelling I’ve seen in a while. yahoo!)
February 28, 2012 at 1:28 pm
1) Regretsy
2) Regretsy – a parody of an old find that was re-featured just a few days ago, if I’m not mistaken.
3) Etsy
4) Etsy
5) Etsy
February 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm
I don’t care who made it, I want a googley eye lighter.
February 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm
How about one of those flexible Aim-N-Flames? Then you could put the eyes at the end of the handle and pretend it’s a fire breathing Mr Snuffleupagus!!
February 28, 2012 at 1:31 pm
Whitney container and lighter are FAKE. They are too cheap. No self-respecting Etsian would sell their hand crafted goods for that cheap.
February 28, 2012 at 4:06 pm
is this sarcasm?
February 28, 2012 at 1:31 pm
I say Regretsy/Etsy/Etsy/Regretsy/Etsy….
The first one is too simple to be real, at least I’m hoping. I’ve seen found objects like that on Etsy, so I think it’s real. Stupid glued shit on more shit is the basis of Etsy… The candle is just too creepy for anybody to realistically sell it. And lastly, the population of Etsy consists of too many dreadlocks, so it’s all too real imo.
February 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Fake
Real
Fake
Fake
Real
The candle is the only one I really question.
February 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm
I call bullshit on the Rock River Tree thing. There is NO WAY those those things were cleansed and/or purified. The Whitney Houston one is fake too, but something tells me that if Helen had made it, she would have used a screen cap from Whitney’s “kiss my ass” moment.
February 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I say cat photo and lighter is April–the rest are real.
That’s my guess and I’m sticking to it. Without visiting etsy to check, I might add!
Quite a bold move for a newbie, right?
Man, I’ve had a long day.
DRINK!
February 28, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Lol! You feel better now?
February 29, 2012 at 3:19 am
Ah yes, that was dandy! But I am trying to figure out why my guesses were precisely wrong. Almost too perfectly wrong. There is a conspiracy afoot!
February 28, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Etsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Regresty
Etsy
I want the dread-coil. I would give it to my mother in law and cackle every time she put her diet Dr. Pepper on it. Because she would have NO IDEA what it was. Scary thing? It matches her decor.
February 28, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I think the cat and the lighter are Etsy and the rest are prescription-drug-fuelled satirical masterpieces.
February 28, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Helen isn’t sober or healthy enough right now to do the lighter, otherwise she would have had googly eyes stuck in her beard. I assume the manly Bronc’s fingers are too big to be able to handle that level of detail.
That said I hope the Whitney container is fake. Letter beads make me think of middle school crushes.
February 28, 2012 at 1:40 pm
1. Regretsy, I hope.
2. Etsy.
3. Etsy, cause that’s awesome. And totally reasonably priced, even. I don’t think there’s enough to mock to have been made by Helen.
4. Can’t decided on this one, I hope it’s Regretsy.
5. Definitely Etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 1:41 pm
All I can think is how dreadful (see what I did there?) that trivet is going to smell when you set a hot pan on it. Egads.
February 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Please PLEASE let that cat drawing be real. PLEASE!!!!
February 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
Etsy
I can tell the lighter is Regretsy because the listing is spelled correctly and is grammatically correct. The tragicrafting is clearly etsy – just look at the glitter and gloops of hot glue. The dread… let’s not even go there. Makes my scalp itch just looking at the damn thing.
February 28, 2012 at 1:46 pm
1. Regretsy. Though, that could be Photoshop Level 9.
2. Regretsy. It is trying too hard to look like Etsy, so it must be Regretsy.
3. Etsy. This is the work of a master Gluer of Shit-To-Other-Shit. HK is a mere apprentice.
4. Etsy. An HK Tragicraft would have more eagles and glitter.
5. Etsy. I don’t think HK has the desire to part with all those pubes. They’re her precious!
February 28, 2012 at 1:49 pm
I would +10 your post for your #5 point if it was allowed!
February 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm
If I had more ambition, I’d investigate whether Christopher Walken is an Etsy seller. His SNL portrayal of a paranoid houseplant wrangler with a penchant for googly eyes is unparalleled. Other than that, I only know I want the dreadlock hotpad. Some pine for the scent of fresh-baked bread to bring them back to childhood days; others long for the equally poignant scent of burned hair.
February 28, 2012 at 1:53 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkjScqk70dI
February 28, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Lighter and trivet are etsy!
February 28, 2012 at 5:21 pm
NO! The cat photoshop… the cat photoshop is real… AAaargh!
February 28, 2012 at 1:55 pm
I cheated, I searched etsy for them. But I got all my guesses wrong. Damn.
February 28, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Cat=Regretsy. The example photo is too in focus to be Etsy.
Barnwood Nonsense: Etsy. Because it’s been “cleansed.”
Lighter: I’m on the fence. I’ll go with Etsy because it’s a cheap lighter, but it’s stealth-cool enough to be Regretsy.
Tragicraft: Has to be Regretsy, because if it were Etsy, I would have seen it here in a post all its own. Also: nice try with “Home Our Office,” HK, but you couldn’t help but spell “poignant” correctly.
Dreadful: Etsy. But, it could use a “Steampunk” tag, just to be safe.
February 28, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Is the found object one a parody of that stupid thing with the feather from a few days ago? I think that’s the fake but I can never tell with these.
February 28, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Pet portrait- fake. Even the most deluded Esty-fuckwad wouldn’t charge that much. They’d charge $20. It’s a recession, don’tcha know.
Found Object: so fucking real or I’ll eat the rock. Even April could not huff enough Bajango douchefumes to quote Maya Angelou for a post like that. I smell arty-fartsy fuckery here.
Lighter: real. The price is reasonable enough to warrant it plausible, therefore most probably real.
Houston Container – FAKE! Your tipping us off to the fake ones. You’re using too many fuckery words in one post. You included “up crafted,” “glitter,” and “candle.”. You must be more subtle in order to fool us.
Trivet: So real it makes my brain implode.
February 28, 2012 at 1:57 pm
These are always so tough! I would say Etsy, Etsy, Regretsy, Regretsy, Etsy. Although I wouldn’t put it past Etsy crafters to have made them all. What spectacular crap! Especially the rock thing…just add a poem and you can sell anything.
February 28, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Custom Pet Portrait: REGRETSY
—If it were Etsy, the buttons would be flower-shaped and who the fuck buttons up their cat?? Every cat I’ve seen uses Velcro™
Rock, River, Tree: REGRETSY
—If it were Etsy, the poet lariat would be mary angelou
Googly-Eyed Lighter: REGRETSY
—Having experience with googly eyes, I felt that this was Photoshopped, because the black disks should be hanging in the same direction—the ones on the left should be hanging to the left, etc.
Whitney Tragicrafting™: ETSY
—This could go either way, but I think April would have put more effort (i.e., fuckery) into it.
Human Hair Trivet: ETSY
—If April had the materials in her house to create that (and I don’t think she does crafting), her dogs would have felt responsible to pee on it to make a statement (“Mommm, what the heck are you doing? Stop it!”–her dogs don’t curse)
February 28, 2012 at 2:40 pm
I can’t believe someone gave away an answer and I ignored it. I’m not going to change my choices, but I know I’m not hitting 100% this time.
February 28, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Derp. I’ve just done, in a roundabout way, what I scolded Iieee about.
::head desk::
February 28, 2012 at 2:01 pm
1. Etsy
2. Regretsy (it’s so full of hipsterness)
3. Etsy. I love this whoever made it, though. From a distance with bad eyesight it’s like a disco Dalek.
4. Regretsy. It’s so hilariously awful.
5. Etsy. As much as I hate to think of that thing actually being hair, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit.
February 28, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Yes, the picture of a dead human in a coffin is the perfect morale booster around the office. “Work, work work, because hey, you could be dead.”
Let’s not forget at home – “See Timmy? Whitney didn’t want to do algebra either.”
That thing is just creepy.
February 28, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Stick, rock and string has to be Regretsy – barnwood is so yesterday for hipsters, and I believe the cupcake that would’ve come up with this idea wouldn’t have the mind-to-body coordination to wrap the string that well.
February 28, 2012 at 2:06 pm
I’m saying the cat costume is fake and the rest are real, as much as I hate to admit it.
February 28, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Kitty Costume – Etsy
Rock-River-Tree – Regretsy (Poet Lariat!?! Front Page?)
Lighter – Etsy
Whitney – Regretsy
Dredlock – Etsy.
February 28, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Fat cat- Regretsy (Maybe Bronc could get some extra $ by photoshopping pussies?)
found objects- Etsy (though it suspiciously looks like other string/rocks featured on the FP and on Regretsy)
Lighter- Etsy but only because I don’t think HK has the patience to glue on a million googly eyes.
Whitney Houston dreck- Regretsy but only because I think HK does have the patience to glue crap to other crap.
Trivet- Etsy
February 28, 2012 at 2:12 pm
1: Regretsy
2: Etsy
3: Etsy
4: Etsy
5: So disgusting and completely unsuited for its intended use it has to be Etsy. Why wouldn’t you want to dine with the yummy aroma of burnt dirty hair?
February 28, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Regretsy, Etsy, Etsy, Etsy and Regretsy. At least I hope the last one is really fake because the thought of a human hair trivet is simultaneously disgusting and nauseating. So much for the cookie dough ice cream I just polished off.
February 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm
UM, UM,
I’m going to go with:
Pet portrait – Regretsy
A rock, a river, a tree – This one is tough… Regretsy because of the poem involves “dinosaur” and “doom”
Googly Eye lighter – Etsy
Candle… Hopefully Regretsy making fun of tragicrafters
Dreadlock hairball of filth… Etsy. =(
February 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Level 9 Cat
-hope to god it’s regretsy
Found Shit
-Etsy, because wicker is the new barn wood
Googly Eyes Lighter
-Etsy, because if it’s not it very soon will be, PM me.
Tragicraft
-Regretsy, because even Helen Killer needs to tragicraft from time to time.
Dreads
- because Ew
February 28, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Is that shark blowing the man in the bathtub on the new fiverr add to the right?
I hope so
February 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Disgusting lice-ridden matted human hair taxidermy thing: Etsy.
Grotesque Whitney Houston cash-in ghoultub: Probably Etsy, but I’m going to cling to the forlorn hope that it’s not real for as long as I can.
Lighter that someone stuck a bunch of self-adhesive googly eyes to while stoned: so freakin Etsy.
Random bits of crap on barn wood: The yellow thread sells it to me. Etsy.
$60 Kitty paintmash: Please tell me this is Regretsy. Even if it isn’t.
February 28, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Cat: Etsy. I think April’s art skills are at least slightly better than that.
Rock and stick: I want to say Etsy, because I swear I’ve seen *almost* the exact same thing on Etsy. Although it may just be a faux copy.
Googly Bic: If that’s Regretsy, I want it. If it’s not… nevermind.
Candle-Container: PLEASE be Regretsy. That shit ain’t right.
Trivet: *gags and dies* sadly I believe that came off Etsy. It doesn’t make sense otherwise. Ughhh.
February 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I think the Custom Pet Portrait & the Googly Eyed Lighter are Etsy. The rest are Regretsy.
February 28, 2012 at 2:51 pm
The Hair Trivet is regretsy becuase no filth mongering hippie would use a ruler with “inches.” That b*tch would measure in ‘smidgens’ or ‘twain.’ Also the eye ball lighter is real because i just bought it. Booya suckers!
February 28, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Hmm, my best guess is that they are all Regretsy except for the last one, no one could make that shit up. And April has way more sense than to touch some hippie’s old dread, let alone go to the trouble of basket-weaving it! Then again, I kind of want that lighter, that might be Etsy too? LOL it’s all crap!!! Hee ^^
February 28, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Cat Portraits-Better be Regretsy
If someone is willing to pay $60 for a kindergartner to scribble on top of a photo with MS Paint then I have lost faith in humanity…but then again people have bought Ghost Cats to haunt them off of Etsy…so I guess that faith flew out the window already.
Rock River-Etsy
A true Etsy-er would think to represent a poem about dinosaur shit with some rocks and string and call it ‘art’
GooglyEyed Lighter-Regretsy
I can picture Hellen Killer laughing to herself with a drink in one hand and shaking the lighter with eyeballs in the other …but then again I could picture a drunk 20something on Etsy doing the same thing.
Whitney Houston Memorial-Etsy
Only someone who felt they were doing her justice by creating something so ugly would even conceive such an abomination.
Dreadlock Trivet-Etsy
Only someone with dreadlocks would think that someone else would want to buy their dreadlocks…No! Keep your dirty dead hair to yourself!
February 28, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Whitney is Regretsy, all the rest of the rap is for sale, I reckon…
February 28, 2012 at 2:58 pm
The Lighter, The Kitty-Kat portrait, AND I think the “Found Art” is also your doing because of the freakin’ “aged” drift-wood background. The rest is probably just some shit on esty…
February 28, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Wait. Seriously?? That Found Art can’t be yours UNLESS you’re being a tricksy hobbit. There an indicator that it made it to the fron page of Etsy?!
February 28, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Yay! Another Regretsy drinking game…!
*downs another Kahlua in preparation* Ok…my guesses are:
Stupid cat drawing: Etsy. Because if it was Helen, she would have also added a moustache & glitter tears or some such extra crap on there.
Stick on a rope: A poem about dinosaur poo? Awesome! I’m going to go Regretsy with this one just the spelling is correct. And I’d really like to try what you were having when you made that poem up.
Googly eyes: Etsy. Because where else are you going to find that sort of crap? Price it too low though – clearly a new seller.
Whitney Abomination: Regretsy. Just because.
Human hair thing that looks like my cat vomited it up: Etsy. Just because. And if it sells, then I’m going to go pull out the hair that’s blocking my shower drain, hot glue it to some barnwood & call it an organic/vegan/pacifist interpretation of the moral decay of coffee harvesting or some such hipster bullsh*t.
February 28, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Oh god. Here goes.
1) Flounce Cat reject
Regretsy – is more funny than sad.
2) … Rock and stick thing
Etsy – … wat?
3) Beholder lighter
Etsy – *sigh*
4) Whitney Houston can
Regretsy – use of the word “poignant.”
5) Dismembered Princess Leia Bun
Etsy – because I’m hoping and praying it’s Regretsy.
February 28, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Since April’s been sick, I’m guessing she didn’t have the time/energy to make things by hand.
So my vote is that everything’s Etsy except for the dreadlock hairball thing and maybe the cat costume.
I want it all to be real, though.
February 28, 2012 at 3:24 pm
The pet thing is the perfect balance of amazing and silly: Regretsy
The text on the found object sculpture lacks capitalization; a nice touch of insanity that most likely comes from Etsy
The Googly eyed lighter is not sufficiently over-priced: Regretsy
The Whitney Houston container comes from a level of tastelessness that Regretsy can’t hope to contend with: Etsy
Human hair trivet: too terrible to contemplate
February 28, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Pet Picture- Etsy
Sculpture- Regretsy
Lighter- Etsy
Whitney Container- Etsy :/
Dreadlock- Regretsy (I think if it was real then the seller would be insisting it was clean of all cooties)
February 28, 2012 at 3:56 pm
The Whitney candle must be Etsy – not even a heartless loser like HK would be this tasteless.
February 28, 2012 at 4:03 pm
I’m guessing the 1st two are Regretsy, all the rest are Etsy…
February 28, 2012 at 4:27 pm
I am totaly baffled.
February 28, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Was the dread lock deloused?
February 28, 2012 at 5:51 pm
I’ve never actually submitted my guesses before, but here goes:
Fake (please, God)
Real… if not the best fake ever. It just screams Etsy.
Real (I honestly hope so… because it’s so silly. I’d never buy it, but since April’s been so sick lately I don’t know that she’d have the patience to hot glue so many googly eyes.)
Fake (again, please, God – open casket memorial shot is too macabre!)
Real. Again, this screams dirty hippy Etsy.
February 29, 2012 at 4:24 pm
My guesses (as usual) SUCK!!! But I think the cat portrait is hilarious & the fact that some Dildo will actually spend $60 for one is funnier still…