I bet it still leaves big stinky ghost turds in the litter box, though.
That’s exactly what I was going to say! I bet I’ll still need to scoop their “ghost litter box”, huh?
Oh, does it catch “ghost mice” too? We have a bad problem with ghost mice in our house…
My real living cats actually chase ghost mice across the yard. They’re ghosts, but they are real or else what are the cats chasing across the yard? (They are drug addicts, but I am trying to give the cats the benefit of the doubt.)
Dude, who’s giving ghost mice drugs?
The blue greebles.
Oh, the ghost mice get the drugs from my cats!
Those must be Nargles
But without a special scoop, they’ll just fall through it. You’ll need to track down a ghost in a New York subway to teach you how to do it properly.
how can you sell out of ghost cats? you’d think there would be very good supply! ghost cats are a renewable resource!
And if you run out, all you need to do is kill more cats!
Wow, too far.
What’s that old saying?
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.
I have committed kitten genocide.
For the love of God! Think of the kittens!
I’m just going to leave this here
@HelloKnitty: Stephen Lynch is wickedly funny. I’ve been singing this song in my head since I saw this post.
Why are there any cats left at this point?
It only seems appropriate that I leave this here:
That’s Ceiling Cat to you, and under the circumstances I think She’d understand.
Let’s have a show of hands of those who have killed at least 2 cats in the last 24 hours.
Is that what makes this “Hand made”?
The seller personally made the cats into ghosts with her hands?
so it’s cheating if she uses her magic bullet? Gotcha.
Question; if she’s having cybersex, does she need to list the other person as a member of her shop? They’d probably appreciate it. They’re so ronery.
Well it’s not like they’re permanently dead or anything. They have nine lives after all. So just try not to kill any ones on their last life. I’m sure there’s some sort of detector.
Wow, I’d save a fortune in catgenie refills!
Catgenie for the Win!
you know what this calls for? A segment of GHOST flounce cats!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
This is just flippin’ stupid.
I just want people to adopt REAL cats along with the ghost cats. Adopt ALL the cats. Cats are the gift that keeps on crapping
This might sound absurd, but I think I’d be much more willing to deal with ectoplasmic hairballs than the corporeal thing.
Plus, if they glow at least you’d be able to see them in the dark before stepping barefoot on a cold pile of cat puke!
Stepping in warm cat puke is also quite a treat!
Only if you are wearing your favorite new socks. Barefoot is awesome too.
WOW, my very own ghost cat?
No one can judge me as a cat lady if they can’t see the cats!!
I think it makes you like double extra megalocat lady if you have GHOST cats. There aren’t enouigh dogs in the world to offset that crazy cat lady stink.
Yes. If you talk to and stroke dozens of imaginary cats, people will definitely think you are sane.
Purrrfectly normal behavior!
No need to be catty.
Where’s the litterbox with the ghost poop in it?
Nobody ever warns you of ghost cat responsibility! They just show you ghostly pictures of the cute cats.
Good luck cleaning that ghost litterbox!
No thanks, cleaning up cat-barf is bad enough without making it intangible.
And all the ectoplasm it marks it’s territory with stains the carpet.
Plus the ghost dogs would try to chase them out and start peeing all over your carpet.
No thanks. My apartment complex would STILL find a way to keep my deposit due to “astral cat damage”.
“Where’s that smell coming from, dammit?”
“Oh, that’s just the spectral cat. It sometimes has issues with bladder control.”
Let’s all consider how many cats there would be in the world if every cat that died became a ghost cat.
Especially if you get one ghost cat for each of the nine lives!
Sold? That free shipping offer had me all ready to buy with my imaginary Paypal account.
I want to see the paypal dispute if the buyer doesn’t like their kitty.
It is PayPal’s policy that if an item is intentionally misidentified and the buyer wishes a refund, we need to take steps to nip this in the bud. Therefore, we need you to destroy the item and send us a photo before we can process a refund.
Your friends at PayPal”
Exactly! The bastards …
I’m tempted to buy one just to open a dispute.
*sends paypal a photo of a live cat to prove the merchandise was destroyed*
It might be the muscle relaxers, but that made me laugh so hard I snorted.
TMC, we must be taking the same muscle relaxer because I choked on an M&M when I read it, then kept laughing after it had cleared my throat.
Yes, but how do you photograph, much less destroy, a ghost cat? Do you have to have the exorcist fill out a special notarized form?
Wow six replies in the time it takes me to login and reply…lol. That said, I wonder if my dog will chase it away if I purchased one.
Surely only if it’s an astral dog?
His dogma will chase it and his karma.
I still swell up and have trouble breathing, but now my eyes only turn a light shade of pink.
Hmm… I would hardly call this “unique” since Virtual Pussy is already widely for sale on the internet.
I wonder if this would fall under “vintage” according to Etsy’s TOS?
Fess up, April. You bought this, didn’t you?
“All you have to do is believe.” Indeed.
“And give me $5″
I can give you exactly the same results for only $3. Just close your eyes and imagine owning a ghost cat. There we go! Now give me the money.
While my eyes were closed the ghost cat ran away. I’d like a refund, please.
Sorry, you just didn’t imagine hard enough. No refunds.
Thanks. Now do you do astral parrots?
Cats, dogs, wolves, dolphins, platypuses, and sloths, but no parrots.
I could probably source one for $50.
Deep fried christ, how many times do I have to say this? The fucking parrots aren’t dead, they’re just shagged out after a long squawk.
Beautiful plumage though.
There are no ghost parrots. They’re just pining for the fjords.
But I imagined the shit out of giving you $3.00.
Somewhere, Jacqueline Stallone said the same thing while steepling her fingers like Montgomery Burns and mulling over how great that would look in comic sans as her new slogan for her Rumpology page.
If there are such things, I would want my own Mr. Kitty, as pictured in my avatar! At least he used the litterbox
Her profile – Favorite materials: ectoplasm.
Someone blows their nose and you want to keep it?
Why not? I think that would be the least innocuous of the bodily fluids some of these sellers keep.
Please tell me that SOMEONE got that reference.
It’s from… Ghostbusters… of course.
Not for me! I prefer to go through the black-market ghost-cat trade. Like maybe a nice Siamese…
Trust me, there can be only pain if you go that route.
Dear Helen and Bronc. GOD BLESS YOUR AWESOME PHOTOSHOP POWERZ. These are the best thing I’ve seen all day, by a mile.
Apropos of nothing, remember that proudly smiling dog photo you posted a week or two ago? I have a printout on my wall and it always makes me smile.
Some people have examined the photo and are pretty sure it’s not PhotoShopped. Please do NOT tell me if it is.
Agree! I was snorting until I saw the last photo of the ghost turd, then I spewed my Moscato everywhere!
Hmmm, bad punctuation, or she’s giving away a meditation, and directions. I can only wonder where the directions will lead you.
Hmm. If they’re directions to the astral plane, what’s the point of going there and calling the astral cat? It’s not going to come when you call!
If you have ghost Bonito flakes, they’ll come when you call!! Or ghostnip!
I’m not sure about $5… do they come with all their astral vaccinations and astral spay or neutering? I mean, it’s not like there aren’t already enough dead cats out there, don’t need them multiplying like ghost rabbits.
I just opened shop as a ghost veterinarian. I can take care of astral spay and neutering, as well as bring them up on their astral shots.
Of course, I am a small ghost animal vet, so as soon as one of you FJLs start selling ghost dogs, ghost rabbits, ghost birds, and other ghost companions, I can quit grad school and dedicate my life to ghost animals full time.
If I’m gonna pay for an astral pet, it’s gonne be something really fucking cool like a pterodactyl (no offense to my cat and dog of course)
We have a pterodactyl in our neighborhood. We’ve never seen it, although we hear it not infrequently. I had thought it was just shy, but mayhap is a ghost.
That explains why I can never find the FUCKING BASTARD PEACOCK that starts screaming it’s pea-sized brain off every morning starting at 3am and continuing until 10pm EVERY SPRING. It’s a ghost peacock. NP, I’ll just get some pellets blessed by a corrupt priest/pastor/guru/pope and when it starts back up in a month-ish I will just commence firing in its general direction.
Now with the lolcat out of the bag, it’s for my “let’s get real” response.
You might not know this, but you should: in the US, it is not legal to intentionally mislead someone in a monetary transaction by “underhanded” means. This has relevant implications for mediums and psychics. If a medium uses an obvious artifice to make people believe in ghosts without revealing it, she (or he? I don’t know if they make male or not-fat fortune tellers) can be charged with a crime. For example, it’s illegal for a medium to use a foot pedal to make noise during a seance, if the people present are not informed. It’s even illegal if the medium tells someone else they don’t actually believe in spirits, because that means they admit it’s bullshit.
So, the frightening implication is…
* It’s illegal if you believe it’s bullshit.
* It’s legal if you’re INSANE.
Welcome to the bizarre world of religious delusion. Your spirit cat is enclosed.
Houdini (friend of H.P. Lovecraft) and his wife agreed that if Houdini found it possible to communicate after death, he would communicate the message “Rosabelle believe”. Houdini’s spirit never appeared.
Maybe he was just too busy playing with spirit kitties?
Well, that explains all those people wandering around with empty leashes…
Yep, been done before.
If you do adopt, do you have to adopt all nine of them?
You just blew my mind.
Oh, shipping is free is it? That’s good.
Don’t buy ghost cats from this vendor!!
I did, and when it was delivered it was dead. At least, I think it was dead. Shit, now I don’t know.
Once again, I have a feeling I’m in the wrong business.
Once again, if I were any kind of scumbag, I’d be a millionaire.
This would be on par with the ebay “ghost in a jar” listings.
Remember the ghost cane and all its spin-offs!
The haunted dolls.
Natural ghost is so much healthier for you than ghost in a jar.
I already feel like I’m being haunted by two living cats.
One waits outside the bathroom for me, the other can’t leave me alone any time I’m in the kitchen.
Oh, I’m so excited! This will be a perfect addition to my ghost family that I started as a child with one of those “walking ghost dog leashes” you can buy at Disneyland! I love animals… I would just prefer to not see, smell, feel, hear, or see them, so this is really the perfect alternative for me.
I’m glad this seller has highlighted the important issue of post-mortem pet abandonment. Many cat owners are initially enchanted by their pets, only to lose interest over time as their committments change and their cat dies and decays.
Cats are forever, people! If you can no longer attend to the needs of your deceased pet, please find a reputable breeder to rehome the ghost cat and prevent feral colonies from developing.
About this item
Handmade by catghostadoptions and made to order
it must be really hard to stitch all that ectoplasm together by hand.
The problem is that my sweetie is allergic to cats. But these are ghost cats, so they don’t affect the living.
This means he won’t start sneezing until after he dies, right?
Relevant video: http://youtu.be/4FBviPUMpno (sorry, I don’t know how to do the title link thing xD)
I went on a Ghost Tour where the people running it were quite seriously trying to get on Ghost Hunters. So they had all the requisite gear and convoluted theories. And their big story was about being called in to investigate a haunted restaurant. Stuff would fall off the prep tables very mysteriously and it was driving the owner nutty.
They determined the place was littered with ghost cats, knocking stuff off the counters.
I was always tempted to go there, order some food, and send it back with a complaint that I’d discovered a ghost-cat hair in my meal.
They never made it on Ghost Hunters. It’s good to see they had a backup plan.
so tell me do ghost kitties get ghost cat diseases and ghost cat vet bills to pay?
Or ghost fleas? or ghost earmites?
What really makes me snarf in my beer is knowing that at least one and possibly two people that I know would in fact spend money on this- They won’t vote, but they’d spend a few bucks to give a homeless cat(s ghost) some love. FML
In a way, I’m kind of glad that people who would buy this might not be voting. There’s a kind of comfort in that.
I wish I had a ghost cat, but so far my beloved Clare who died of cancer last year seems content to remain wherever perfect cat go after they die. I was kind of hoping she’d pop in for the occasional phantom purring session or spectral face-kisses; maybe she disapproves of the new kibble we’ve been giving the other cats.
I don’t know what’s worst, the fact that someone’s actually offering this for sale or the fact some dumb schmuck actually BOUGHT it!
You know what? That cat looks lonely. Why not buy him a spirit fish to keep him company?
As joke (when I worked at one particular pet shop), we filled bags with water and set them up on the counter as “Invisible Fish”. No need to feed or change the water!
We sold several of them that day for $2.99.
Oh, btw since word spreads so fast on the internet, I suppose it would be in the best interest of my company to advertise here. I sell dragons. Hand picked, top stock bred dragons, all bottle fed from the time they were old enough to fly. They can’t be seen or touched because of a magical dust that their mother’s sprinkle over them, to hide them from the dangers of humans. But what’s most important is that you believe in your heart that they exist, and isn’t that the REAL joy of owning a mythical creature? Also, it’s going to cost a couple hundred thousand. Cash only in non-tracable 50′s and 100′s. They’re… Very large.
…and great for starting the ghost fire in your fake fireplace, too! As an added bonus, they’ll happily destroy any ghost copies of Eragon you may have lying around.
which breed of dragon is it?
is it medieval times dragon? or asian dragon?
ghost kitty, spirit kitty, little puff of air
dead kitty, unkitty, where where where?
Kitchen Bish I heart you SO MUCH for that!
Sampler, t-shirt, tattoo, panties, please. Even a pattern would do. I’d learn how to make samplers for this one.
I take it all back, I have been so wrong about cat people, as proven by the fact that this is “sold”.
This makes me want to cry. Not because it’s sweet or sad, but because they have sold this not once, but TWICE. My shop, with items I put serious hard work into making? 0 sales.
A cat ghost??? REALLY?!?!
*goes off to sob in the corner while she gets thumbed down*
I have a rather severe cat allergy. What would I need to take for an astral cat? Allegra-G?
Well, if you want to see your ghost-cat, you could take Clairvoyatin.
Very well done.
I can has exorcism?
Seriously, though, this would be great company for the ghost of my imaginary boyfriend Tom. I killed Tom when he wanted to leave me for someone else…
Imaginary Tom was a real prick. We had a one-night stand and he promised he’d call me the next day. Then he started hitting on my friends.
I’m glad you killed him.
The imaginary police investigated but I seduced them all and they covered it up. The imaginary coroner was a pain but we killed him. The funeral was a sight to see.
However, Tom’s imaginary friend Mr. Bubbles jams up the plumbing every so often….
Damnit, I still think it won’t get around the No Pet policy here.
That fuckin’ “Ghost Turd” had me pissing myself!!!
Dead kitties aren’t much fun.
They won’t curl
Into a ball
They won’t purr
In your lap at all
Dead kitties aren’t much fun.
Damn. Why can’t I ever get an idea like this? Charge an obscene amount of money for a piece of paper? (I’m guessing at the obscene part – she doesn’t have anything listed right now.)
Spirit Cat will stil turn its nose up at whatever Spirit Food you offer it, and leave Spirit Mice with their Spirit Heads chewed off on the front porch.
Bite dey little heads off,
Nibble on dey tiny feet.
Love to eat dem mousies.
Mousies what I love to eat.
I already get tons of email and FB posts about living cats that need homes. Now I have to deal with GHOST CATS, TOO?
Apropos of nothing, the sponsored link on my FB page said
Free Barack Obama Sticker
Did they mean
“Free Barack Obama” Sticker
Free “Barack Obama” Sticker?
Just when I thought I’ve tried every dick, regrets comes along and fucks me in the ass.
This is a travesty to shelter cats who need homes. Then again, they are probably safer in the shelter than with anyone who would purchase a “ghost cat.”
Hah, take that, Schrodinger! The cat? Totally dead.
I’d give you a BAHAHAHAHA hug if it were not for my terrible issues with personal space. In lieu, the next time you see some hot piece of ass/rack/tummy/$fav_body_part you may run up to him/her without warning and cop a feel.
Sorry it’s hard to type when you’re being pounded
Oh man, I should totally team up with this person so I can make some money. I’m a biology grad student and I’m pretty confident the building I work in is haunted by ghost cats, fish, mice, worms, flies, etc. The ghost pet possibilities are endless!!!
Forget adoptions. Sell ghost armies of dissected pig foetuses to crazy dictators in banana republics.
Oh,where is the home that the Spirit Cats roam?
Why, it’s on the astral plane.
Is that where we heard a discouraging word?
No, that was the home on the range.
Get off the stove you damn cats!
Can I buy level 4 cat as my ghost cat?
Also, how much do these cost?
The Level 4 can transcends all astral planes.
Ghost cat? I am feeling very apropos of nothing on this post.
I’m headed back to the turd post. I need a treat.
I was expecting pictures of dead hoarder cats. Side effect of too much hoarders? No such thing!
This must be the fifth level.
where is my picture
Who could be outraged at this? It just made me HOWL! (And yes, three cats call me their human servant!)
All you have to do is believe.
Oh, and send me money.
So if I choose to buy a ghost cat from a ghost cat breeder as opposed to adopting a ghost cat, does that mean I’m contributing to the overpopulation of ghost cats? Will there be feral colonies of ghost cats? Will homeless ghost cats be picked up by Class B dealers and sold to shady animal testing companies and have ghost toxicity tests performed on them? Or will ghost cats end up in ghost animal control centers to be euthanized if not adopted within seven days? What happens to a euthanized ghost cat? Are there ghost cat no-kill shelters?
So many questions…
Omg Lemon_bombs, our dogs must be the same breed! They cost a small fortune, but are so worth it, am I right?
I can’t even stand my real cat sometimes, so why in the hell would I want a “supposed” ghost cat yowling at me while i’m trying to sleep?!
Are you able to take ghost cats to invisible shelters if they have a behavioral problem?
No, but you can hire a ghost animal behaviorist.
Ha! That’s excellent. It would be like “Ghost Whisperer: The Feline Edition”
(facing east, in the general direction of Boulder, Colorado where my dad lives)
DAMMIT DADDY! Why did you have to impart us with fucking ethics??!! I could make a fortune as a ghost pet whisperer!!! And a ghost pet pet-sitter! But NOOoooOooOooOooo!
Sometimes dead is better
It comes with directions?
So I have to rescue this cat from the kennels of purgatory it currently wanders? Does it come with a big long rope so I can go in after it?
Oh! Maybe it comes with a dead fireman.
Maybe I should have read the summoning spell welcoming prayer better.
Mine… umm…. turned out wrong…
I know I am a little late to the party but I felt compelled to google the lovely finder of Ghost Cats.
It seems she also a talented artists. She paints the real truth behind encounters with aliens…
I love the multi dimension of crazy that is working for her…
OH HELLS YEAH! I’m a vet…I could make a fortune practicing on these fuckers. Bet they don’t bite. And how can I fail? They’re already dead! Results will astound you.
Who wants to design my Etsy ad for Ghost Cat Veterinary Services? Who you gonna call? Their ailments may be imaginary…but your cash better be real. Or else I’ll keep your ghost cat until you pay me. (Yes, I can do that, just like when I got your nose earlier.)
“I’m so sorry, Ms. Killer, your ghost cat is very ill, and it looks like we’re going to have to resurrect him.”
Pffft, ghost kitties are an old shoe if you are a rader of Girls With Slingshots http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/comic/gws-1273/
My ghost cat has really taken care of my ghost mouse problem.
maybe this would be the answer for animal hoarders? They are only allowed so many animals, but there are no limits on animal ghosts! You can be “the crazy dead cat lady”! Ghost cats can’t get caught in the clutter…HEYyyyyyyyyyy, maybe the seller IS a crazy cat lady & every time she finds a dead cat stuck within her hoard she sells the dead cat and replaces it with another live cat. She’s out of stock right now because it takes awhile to locate the dead ones. Guess she goes by smell
So this came up when I hit random…and I think I’m going to buy one (she has a ghost mouse for sale too). I know, I’m nuts, but for some reason, this is irresistible to me…feel free to make fun of me. I might actually by the person that the crazy cat lady on The Simpsons was modeled after…just not as old.
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