JESUS CHRIST THOSE KARDASHIANS WILL ENDORSE ANYTHING
Fun if you are taking a stroll through the forest! And you like being attacked from above by birds of prey!
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My average sized penis and I both agree that is one foxy lady. Schawing!
You know, I admire determination, but I don’t think a lot of us find “average-sized penis” funny as a running gag.
He’s not trying to be funny; he’s trying to convince himself in spite of visible evidence to the contrary.
Or if you enjoy the appearance of a fox eating your head.
Who doesn’t. So, so fun.
I keep imagining “nom nom nom” as the headline for this…
If I’m ever doomed for some reason to be taking a walk through a forest (as opposed to, say, driving a Mercedes to a beach resort)- I don’t want to be wearing something that will attract vultures.
Why do you equate a walk through a forest with doom? Sounds frigging awesome to me.
Then again, I live in a dingy upstairs apartment; my “front yard” is a cement balcony about 4′x8′, and I have to walk down the block and across the street to the nearest city park if I want to sit under a decent-sized shade tree on a nice day. Individual perspective, I guess.
“Like, omg Kim, you look SO foxy!”
I’ve never actually heard them speak, but this is how the Kardashians talk in my head.
That’s about it, if not an improvement. Gold star for you!
This isn’t what I meant by a trade for Redd Foxx memorabilia
So this is what happened to Little Red Riding Hood.
This is probably what she looked like when she came out of the wolf’s stomach…covered in bits of other animals.
Well, what you can’t see is that the fox is dry-humping the back of her head.
whimsical skull fuckery?
I logged in just to tell you how awesome you are.
It is called Portions of Foxes. For 200 bucks, I want my other fox portion to be a fox penis facinator on the back of her head.
You just reminded me–we don’t see enough penis fascinators these days. Here’s hoping they make a comeback.
… is it scary I want to do this now?
Let’s just hope Two Wild And Crazy Guys don’t go looking for foxes…. Whole new meaning to gang bang.
I suppose it would be too much to hope for an animal zombie to eat her face, wouldn’t it? It does camouflage the point on her head nicely, though.
I like taxidermy art. I find it appealing.
That’s jsut a raggedy bit of fur stuck to some mangy, drooping feathers.
Juan Cabana for taxidermy art
His stuff is so wonderfully creepy and I can’t look away.
I swear I saw Gollum in there.
I first heard of Juan Cabana’s art via Snopes.com: seems some hyperintelligencia (plural, as they seldom address questions submitted only once) felt a need to ask Snopes whether Cabana’s “Sea Faerie” (fairy skeleton) was real or a *gasp* FAKE.
Sometimes, all I can do is weep.
I read your headline and the first thing that popped into my head was, “Dances with Wolves?”
Yeah. I’m going back to my bottle of bourbon now…
Why would you bleach peacock feathers?
Haha, good catch. I didn’t even notice that.
She should have said they were rare albino peacock feathers from Malfoy Manor.
I also need to know this.
Exactly what I logged in to ask. How do we even know they are peacock feathers?
Ditto. That was the most nonsensical bit.
Tritto. I also logged in to ask exactly that question! Peacock feather colors are so beautiful…
Peacock feathers have a very distinctive shape.
On the side view, you can see that there is one all-white (well, whitISH) peacock feather at the bottom, trailing down her back a bit. A bedraggled and dingy-looking one. The rest of the feathers I’m not sure of, except I’m sure they’re not peacock. Rooster, maybe? Or guinea hen? Beats me.
I can think of one reason, but it’s not quite the same.
Albino peacocks are lovely. Bedraggled off-white chemically damaged peacock feathers, not so much (her description specifically lists the 2 side feathers as bleached peacock).
Some tattered ostrich and rooster sickles in the mess there. No guinea. Not even a farthing … sorry… certainly not $200 for RenFaire merchant leftovers.
To ruin them.
Why bleach the peacock feathers? Puh-LEASE. Natural peacock feathers are FAR too garish for this kind of…thing.
Of course! You can’t have any element of a thing like this be unsubtle.
Because the peacock has the mistaken belief that it will make him look younger?
If Davy Crockett wore one does that make it steampunk?
Only if it converts into a flying machine. Or, hell, just hot-glue some gears onto it and call it a day.
My hot glue gun’s broke. Can we split the difference at “vintage”, then?
Quick question: Sparkly vampire shit was the rage in 2010 and steampunk was spectacularly sodomized in 2011. Has anyone called it yet for the 2012 trending horror?
1. Mockingjays made from upcycled cat-dragged-it-home-dead birds
2. Symbolic Arrows
3. District 12 chic (hipster/hobo combo)
It needs “Don’t shoot me!” orange accents before I’d take a stroll through the forest in it. Wonder if she customizes?
On the other hand, she could make bank contracting for the US government to provide camouflaging attire. You know, for when U.S. troops are lying low in temperate Northern forests. As they do.
Well, we have gone way too long without invading a new country. Can we really trust those Norwegians?
Thumbs up for not blaming Canada.
We must protect American BUTTER!
With utmost respect, disagreeing. Please DO forget the safety orange before that fun stroll! Mkay, thanks!
You respectfully want me to be mistaken for an animal and shot by a hunter? That’s not actually very respectful, much less “utmost respect.”
“Deadbird”? Is this a Regretsian?
In related news, I saw a dead bird on my way to class this afternoon and thought of us all.
No one cries for the Deadbird.
haha gross. i actually lol’d a bit at the title though, “portions of foxes” is actually pretty clever for some dirty dead hipster shit.
i read it several times thinking someone was trying to tie this in to the Rilo Kiley song (portions FOR foxes). i still can’t help but think this is some pre-hipster-scenester trying to be cute with dead animals.
Is the tie-in that if you meet someone who enjoys taking strolls through forests and wearing roadkill on her head, she’s probably “bad news, baby”?
I thought of Rilo Kiley, too. And I imagine that the look on the model’s face is exactly what her face would look like if she saw this. “Shit son, what IS that on your head?”
so did i! that’s why i thought it was clever. (i use the term lightly, of course.)
I agree…good band name.
this is NOT what jimi hendrix had in mind when he was looking for a foxy lady.
Why do beagles chase me home from the bus stop every damn day?!?
Will Feral wears one.
RELEASE THE HOUNDS!
The way is clear.
The light is good.
Don’t wear that hat
No, no one should!
The background is trees,
The trees are just wood.
I sort of hate to ask it,
Did you steal that from a casket?
There’s no possible way, to describe what you feel.
When you’re talking to your meal!
Hello little girl!
Eight billion thumbs up for the Sondheim reference.
I was worried for a little wile that people wouldn’t get the reference.
But you know what they say. The slotted spoon can catch the potato!
Glad to see I’m not the only musical geek on here!
Of course the wolf’s pelt from the original Broadway production would probably be more suitable for Etsy, given the sizable penis attached to it. Or maybe not since it’s actually *supposed* to be a penis. Either way I bet someone would wear it on their head.
For $200 shouldn’t I get the whole fox? Not just a portion?
$200 can get you a nice pelt. I wouldn’t pay $20 for this pathetic face scraping.
For $200, that thing should be mechanized. You know: a little attached thingy with a button on it that you could hide in your pocket and whenever you caught some poor bastard staring, you push the button and suddenly the fox head lunges and snarls before settling again on your skull. That would possibly be the greatest thing EVER and a total steal at $200.
THE SIDE VIEW!!!!
I thought she was going for (missed, but going for) a little squirrely hat type thing. But the side view is a full on headdress with the squirrel biting into her head!
Oh, I get it now! You’d wear this on a walk in the forest, because to be seen in public would cause mass hysteria.
I actually like the feather portion on the side view, but it looks like she repositioned the item for that photo.
But I’d rather pay 200 bucks for something like this instead:
Oh my god I would kill someone to have the Winter Queen’s headdress. Or the Summer Queen’s.
On the other hand, I think I might kill someone if they tried to make me wear this god-awful mangy bit of vulpine sadness.
+10 interweb points for the proper use of vulpine. Kudos!
If I wasn’t lazy I would add a glitter tear.
Maybe it was a white peacock. Or a pea hen. Whichever of them has all white feathers.
Even so, there’s maybe 10 bucks worth of dead animal on there (fox faces are pretty cheap).
I’m glad you know that. With all the knowledge and skills we collectively have, Regretsy could take over the world.
There are albino peacocks, and they are gorgeous. Like living wedding gowns. Pea hens, I believe, have brown feathers. Also, the feather shown, as is almost always the case with peacock feathers for sale, is one of the distinctive long tail feathers that only peacocks (not peahens) have. Besides, she says in the description that it was bleached. I can’t imagine why one would want to do that to a peacock feather, but then I can’t imagine why one would want to wear a dead fox on one’s head. Unless one had completely misunderstood the term “foxy lady,” anyway.
There can never be a good reason to deliberately remove the natural coloration from a peacock feather. Never. I’m still stunned.
Did I say there was? The albino peacocks I mentioned are naturally that way. They’re albinos; a genetic mutation makes it impossible for their bodies to produce pigmentation, so the feathers are pure white.
Christ on a cracker. She wasn’t trying to argue with you.
I didn’t think I was trying to argue with her. (Am I arguing with you now?) Perhaps I misread her reply. Perhaps you misread mine. It happens. Not a huge deal, either way.
For the record, I’m not one of the people who gave her comment the thumb’s down.
It appears I’m not expressing myself well today. I honestly did not intend to come across as overly confrontational. My apologies for any confusion and/or hurt feelings.
Is it wrong that I imagine this peacock as having an identity crisis, and looking a bit ghetto?
I see him going and home dying his afro, having it go ugly, and then walking down the street.
The other homie peacocks are all “Yo! Homes, you too good for us? You think you too good for colour yo?”
apparently it is wrong
This is a promotional pic for “Kim and Khloe Take the Psych Ward”, right?
Best comment ever.
Me: Bloomindale’s? Yes, I’m looking for a ladies’ hat. Can you transfer me to Ladies’ Headwear? Thank you.
Melissa the Bloomingdales employee: Hello this is Melissa in ladies accessories, how can I help you?
Me:Oh hi Melissa, yes I’d like to purchase portions of foxes. Do you carry those?
Melissa: I’m sorry, what?
Me: Portions of foxes. You know, to wear on your head like a hat. With feathers.
Melissa: Ok I understand now. You want a fox-fur hat. Yes we do have a few styles, although wearing fur isn’t as common these days so we don’t have much. We do have several faux-fur styles.
Me: No no, not the fur! Why would I want a hat made out of fox fur?!? I want a hat made out of just the skull. With feathers of some bird. Like a fascinator.
Melissa: What in the everloving fuck is a fascinator?
On Regretsy, nobody stays behind and cries for Deadbird.
more thumbs for name and avatar than for the deadbird reference.
It is how the Kardashian Syndrome starts — dead “artsy” things on a head.
Not to be a Buzz-Kill, but this really is one thing I wish would go away on ETSY– using dead things for Hats, Purses, Wall art, Necklaces, Penis Covers, Butt Plugs etc, etc….
Oh, come on. I’m not defending THIS, but I’m sure there’s SOMEONE on Etsy who can dp dead things, y’know… tastefully…
No examples spring to mind, of course…
MAYBE I JUST LIKE DEAD THINGS.
Reminds me of this:
Wear the fox hat
I really want to say something witty, but I kind of only just got up (3pm UK time, jealous, you fat losers?) and am not quite drunk enough yet. So I shall just look at the photograph of a fox cub my Mum took last year and neck a few pints to maybe return to this later.
That’s it, after reading her description of a wire wrapped chicken foot on a chain, I’m on team Deadbirdlove.
Roadkill couture. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Don’t forget to clean off the maggots!
I suppose the other special occasions you’d want to wear this thing (besides a walk in the forest which will likely attract mountain lions or English fox hunters) would be:
2. First Date
3. First day of school
4. Wedding (in the forest)
5. Job interview
I have to rule out Halloween because it’s not a costume.
You can wear the chicken foot grocery shopping, spellcasting or just dancing around, according to the description. So much overlap!
8. Watching t.v. (I hear dead fox face is the new tin foil.)
U guys, I was totally taking a walk after the cosmetology school graduation ceremony today, you know, through that woodsy area behind the nail place?
Anyway, there was this hawk, and It was all “skree!” like really loud and stuff and being all annoying and right when I was looking up to say OMG, could you be quiet I’m trying to read how to properly exfoliate before using tanning towels, the hawk like swoops down in front of me and tries to grab this fox, right? Tots gross, the fox was already dead all flat and kind of stuck to the ground and the bird was all “Caw’” and trying to pick it up and I was trying to get away and also I was maybe texting some and anyway I fell and crushed the stupid gross bird with my head and it got all caught up in my weave and I was freaking out!
but then I saw my reflection in a garbage truck windshield and it was all Alexander McQueen and shit – I can’t believe how I look good in everything lemme get a shot with my phone
“and it was all Alexander McQueen and shit…”
TRUE STORY! Alexander Mcqueen for Givenchy Haute Couture Fall 1997:
Concerns of animal welfare aside, that is a properly cured and mounted fox pelt with the traditional fixing of a clamp under the jaw, which can be worn as a hat, or used in any other way, not some sad remnant.
Looking back at the post, does anyone else think she might have hacked that thing off her grandma’s fox?
three pints later… nearly wet myself laughing at this!
Suprised no one’s pointed out that that isn’t a fox head, it’s a parasitic alien.
Its resemblance to our earth “foxes” is a mere coincidence.
You act surprised.
I know stuff about things.
I know things about stuff
You are more fortunate than I; I know no things and have no stuff.
I could teach you a few things about how to get stuff.
I’d rather just do things with other people’s stuff.
And I think that’s enough things AND enough stuff. Dead horse, well-beaten.
Oh, the other professors laughed at her, and the grant money wasn’t exactly flowing, but because of her keen mind and a her mastery of disguises, Dr. Frauenfuchs was slowly being accepted into the secret society of the fox. Those bastards at the Journal for Animal Behavior weren’t going to have the last laugh!
That is an awfully long way to go to obtain, basically, the appearance of bait.
“Are you wearing a fox atop your head?” Well duh, of course I am. Who isn’t? But mine’s adorned with chicken feet and a squirrel skull wrenched in the dead fox’s teeth. Bleached feathers are soooo last season.
A fox with feathers?
I think someone failed biology 101.
I’m guessing it’s meant to be something of a conversation piece.
But you know what they say… the talking leads to touching, then the touching leads to sex, and then there is no mystery left.
Really, baby, it’s just bad news.
I’m pretty sure this is the kind of conversation piece that would prevent touching.
I’m still trying to figure out whether it would look less creepy or more creepy if the fox had eyes instead of holes.
Googly eyes would be the best bet.
Ok, so once you take the entire fox, out of the fox, and put the fox-peel on your head, it pretty much just looks like your wearing a small dog-peel. So far, so good and all, but for deep fried Christ’s sake, could you at least wash the fucking feathers? I might have been all “where’s my credit card?” but instead I’m all “where the fuck is the sanitizer that kills avian flu?”
I think I love you a little, for “deep-fried Christ’s sake”.
Yes, she is wearing a dead fox atop her head. And crushed beetle carapaces on her lips, and pulverized fish scales on her eyes and cheeks, and possibly — although it is hard to tell — some sheep sweat smeared aaaaaaaaall over her face.
What’s the big deal?
On a short hike yesterday, we came across a desiccated bobcat carcass with most of its skin. I petted its little skull, and left it there. What an opportunity I missed!
OMIGOD SOMDHEIM REFERENCE
Now that’s done, all I have to say is “Where’s her matching wolf fur? Little Red would never leave her prize skin, especially if it matched.”
Specially trained head foxes. Its how they keep the Unibrow pruned.
Gee that fox is about as perky as Kim’s marriage. Am I right? (rimshot)
On an unrelated note, I hate the Forsaken headdress in Skyrim.
I mean, I see a man wearing a great big toothy stabby deer skull on his head, and naturally, I want to wear a great big toothy stabby deer skull on MY head. So bla bla bla, he attacks me, I kill him, sweet, I get to take his hat now-
and it changes.
Because I am playing a girl.
Now, I know that I’m not the first person to notice that clothes for girls in video games are often much different than the same clothes on guys.
But this is a hat.
It goes on my head.
I do not have tits on my head.
And yet, the headdress changes. It changes from being a great big toothy stabby deer skull to looking like you gave Helena Bonham Carter feathers, barrettes, and a glue gun, and told her to go wild.
I WANT A GREAT BIG TOOTHY STABBY DEER SKULL.
Is that too much for a girl to ask?
Anyway, that’s one ugly portion of a fox.
Oh my gosh, I commented similar to this, scrolled up and saw yours, and thought, ‘Yes! Another Skyrim buff!’
I’m playing a gent, so I don’t have that problem, but I understand where your coming from. Still, as far as clothes changing for women goes, Skyrim is far more equal than most. You don’t find examples of armor or clothes that’s barely there on women and shows no skin on guys. If it’s got nothing but a bra top for women, it’s shirtless on men. If it’s got cleavage for women, it’s got an open lace up neck on the men. Except maybe the tavern clothes, the guy’s version is a little blase.
Apart from the forsworn clothes, you mean? With the woefully undressed for the weather yet still decent men, and the lovingly crafted upper/inner thighs and arsecheeks on the women?
I like the female forsworn outfit, including the hat (sorry KharmaApple). But I wish the male one had the same attention to detail under the loincloth!
That dingo ate my baby!
Or not quite.
If I wanted an animal head on my head I’d just go play Morrowind and kill people in Solstheim.
I’m trying to imagine walking in the woods and meeting someone wearing this fuckery. It would tell me all I ever needed to know about that person. I would avoid eye contact and back away slowly. If that didn’t work, I would run. Then I and my friends would laugh about it for a long, long time.
(ok, I’ll show myself out)
hmm. I know where I can get weasel faces for a buck a piece and I think my little cousin still has a crapload of feathers leftover from the great holiday craft extravaganza – what do you think, $50 a pop for the miniature fascinator version, Chunks o’ Weasel?
Never seen that before, fox on a woman’s head.
I prefer my gray foxes on the original creature. These are a few I personally knew.
Oops, image didn’t work
So gorgeous! I have heard that foxes have a strong scent–almost skunky. Is that true?
No, the animal itself doesn’t smell skunky. But their poop, that is another matter…
There was a strong musky odor near the fox pen for the Wildlife department where I went to school, and the grad students said it was the foxes.
The minute my sister saw this, she thought it looked like the forsworn in Skyrim. The forsworn are a human sacrificing, child kidnapping cult that follows the teachings of mutant bird people and run around dressed in animal hides. Not a good fashion muse.
Next we will have Reaver-chic.
I submitted this sad sad use of a foxes head. I only found it, though, because someone in my etsy circle favorited it, extraordinary as that is to think about.
The only person who can rock that hat…is Kaoru of Dir en grey.
Because he’s Asian. And that’s what Asian people do.
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