Etsy or Regretsy?
One of the questions people ask most about Regretsy is whether or not the things we feature are real. I can’t blame them.
It’s very difficult to accept the fact that not only are people sitting at their kitchen tables and making these, but that they actually think they found a way to quit their day job.
So last month, we introduced a new game: Etsy or Regretsy. It was a big hit, though some of you were very clever and saw right through my pathetic efforts to appear deranged. So this week, I am upping my game.
At least one of these is a real listing on Etsy. At least one is fake.
Which is the Etsy and which is the Regretsy?
Leave your guesses in the comments. Answers will be revealed later today.
February 15, 2012 at 2:17 pm
…this shouldn’t be nearly as hard as it is.
February 15, 2012 at 2:33 pm
I KNOW! I’m sitting here like “Ok maybe that’s fake? But…god I’ve seen worse shit on Etsy. So maybe real?” My brain hurts from overthinking this.
February 15, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I can’t believe I’m honest to god hesitating saying a “bouquet” of rusty nails isn’t something you could find on Etsy.
The truth is, Regretsy broke us. Nothing’s too crazy anymore.
February 15, 2012 at 2:58 pm
Regretsy broke nothing…it was already smashed to pieces and upcycled.
February 15, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Paula Abdul may be a bird brain – but not a bird feeder – I see Bronc’s photoshop skills there.REGRETSEY
I hate to say it but at the $100 price point and big ego Johnny Drama is ETSY
February 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm
If it was a Whitney Houston hummingbird feeder it would be easier to believe.
February 15, 2012 at 4:40 pm
My thoughts exactly!
February 15, 2012 at 2:52 pm
… said the lady to the bishop.
February 15, 2012 at 2:18 pm
I’m going to guess that the nails and maybe the junk drawer are fake. (The junk drawer seems too self-aware to be Etsy.)
I hope the Paula Abdul feeder is also fake, but my heart tells me otherwise.
February 15, 2012 at 2:23 pm
I HOPE the Paula Abdul feeder is real because I would totally buy it. WANT. otherwise, the only thing that seems fake to me are the nails.
February 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm
You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
February 15, 2012 at 2:24 pm
The junk drawer has got to be the fake one…it’s like it already knows how to mock itself.
February 15, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Somehow I posted to your reply, megapussi…but I didn’t mean to. And I’m not even drunk yet.
February 15, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Isn’t the junk drawer would be where one keeps the dildo(s)? (Not that I would know anything about that, nor the KY).
February 15, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Isn’t the junk drawer where one would keep the dildo(s)? (Not that I would know anything about those, nor the KY.)
February 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I’m fairly sure I saw a junk drawer assemblage art project on Nate Berkus, but at least they spray painted the mess.
February 15, 2012 at 2:49 pm
I think the Paula Abdul is the only fake, because it would be easy to create in a few minutes and the description is way too well-written for Etsy. It even uses its multiple exclamation marks one at a time. Nobody that exclamatory uses only one at a time unless the intend their punctuation satirically.
The nails are probably just a red herring, tempting us to believe that if one of these is fake, that has to be it. On the other hand, “bouquet” and “aesthetically” are both spelled correctly, so… it MUST be a red herring. HK knows we’ll grade on spelling and punctuation, and we must never forget how cunning she is when she lays her traps for us.
February 15, 2012 at 4:23 pm
“…so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you!”
February 15, 2012 at 5:07 pm
I was instructed to give him the one with the sticky stem.
February 15, 2012 at 5:45 pm
I think the nails are fake. Other than the correct spelling and my unwillingness to believe something that ridiculous could be sold, the price is just not high enough. If someone were to sell something this stupid, it’d be at least $20 just for being “vintage.”
February 15, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Nails are real, man. Fucking Etsy.
Junk drawer is anyone’s guess. Something tells me it’s real though.
Paula Abdul HAS to be fake. It’s like the PERFECT regretsy item. It’s too good (bad?) to be true.
February 15, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I dunno–you can see the rust leeching off the screws and nails, which means they’ve been there for a while. I think it’s real.
February 15, 2012 at 5:15 pm
MEGAPUSSI! I am totally threadjacking for a very important irrelevancy:
MEGAPUSSI TOTEBAG brought to you by the Finnish Curse Center.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled fuckery.
February 15, 2012 at 2:19 pm
There’s no way the hummingbird feeder is real. No. Way.
February 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Agreed, although something in me really wants it to be real…
February 15, 2012 at 3:00 pm
I was thinking the same thing. It can’t be real, but if it is…someone is either a genius or needs to be institutionalized.
February 15, 2012 at 2:34 pm
If there is a God that feeder is real. Also, that junk drawer has to be etsy.
February 15, 2012 at 2:58 pm
No, the junk drawer has to be fake because the price is just waaaay too low.
As for the rest, I’ve got no fucking clue. I’ll just wait for the grand reveal to find out how wrong I am.
February 15, 2012 at 4:32 pm
The rust on the screws in the junk drawer has seeped (haha) onto the backing, making me think it’s been built for a while and thus an actual esty item, sorry to say…
February 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Yeah, but there’s always Photoshop. I think it’s Etsy, but Our Fearless Leader is very clever, so one never knows…do one?
February 15, 2012 at 5:25 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 5:28 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Browse Etsy all you want, but there’s no excuse for spoilers just because you’ll be in class when Aprli reveals the answers. Guess you like the taste of sour grapes.
February 16, 2012 at 12:13 am
Mostly I’m just an idiot, whose brain-post button filter often malfunctions, especially when overtired, as I was today.
I sincerely apologize.
February 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
Etsy
Etsy
February 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Beeby, that’s exactly what I thought, too. Then I went to Etsy to check my work. I could find no listings for the last two, which suggests that either HK made them in her artistic ability, or they SOLD!
February 15, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Betcha HK bought them for prizes. Hope I win!
February 15, 2012 at 2:19 pm
I’m guessing
real
fake
fake
fake
real
February 15, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Hmm I thought the same thing but I’m waffling on the nails.
February 15, 2012 at 4:27 pm
I’m guessing
real
fake
fake
fake
real
Hmm. What porn site are you looking at?
February 15, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Rentally, I agree with you. Can’t wait to find out/ be horrified about whichever one we guessed was fake that was really real.
February 15, 2012 at 2:20 pm
My guess: Felt crap, rusty screws, and bent nails – Etsy. Paula and Kevin – Regretsy (they’re too well done).
February 15, 2012 at 2:23 pm
April, if you made the junk-drawer thingie, can I have it? Also, the felt “necklace.” I’d even pay you a dollar or two for that one. I think maybe the Paula Abdul feeder is fake, because most people don’t buy a hummingbird feeder to terrify away hummingbirds. Actually, I wish I lived in a world where all of these were fake. Knowing that a few of them are real… What’s the world coming to?
February 15, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Yeah, I kinda like the junk drawer thingy and the felt necklace too. I feel like I’d take it off the necklace part and sew it onto a messenger bag or something instead because felt directly on my skin makes me want to peel my flesh off.
And yes, I am sort of embarrassed that I like them.
February 15, 2012 at 2:36 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 2:59 pm
No cheating!
February 15, 2012 at 3:06 pm
NO ONE READ THE ABOVE COMMENT! CHEATING IS BAD.
February 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Kinda defeats the purpose of the game to look them up.
February 15, 2012 at 3:10 pm
I mean… not that it didn’t occur to me (or others I’m sure) but it’s kind of douchey. And lazy.
February 15, 2012 at 6:44 pm
Hey – I only looked after I guessed… Honest! (not that anyone will believe me.)
February 15, 2012 at 2:20 pm
1, 2, 3, and 5 are Etsy for sure and 4 is Regretsy.
February 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Hmmm… I think the drawing, the necklace, and the nails are you. The nails are too silly–why make them a bouquet?–the drawing is cheap, and the necklace is too. Though I may turn out to be wrong…
I don’t think you’d waste a wrench on the garden art and go to the trouble of setting it up outside. OR WOULD YOU
February 15, 2012 at 2:22 pm
THAT’S THE QUESTION
February 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm
I think you would do it. And, I think when you did it you giggled for hours.
February 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm
My guesses based on what she could throw together:
etsy – 1, 3
regretsy – 2, 4, 5
February 15, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Yeah, but after the success of the first round of Etsy Or Regretsy, she’s had an entire month to prep for this. Also? The fake things may actually be shit she already owns and thus were readily available for some Photoshopping love.
February 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Necklace: Real
Hummingbird Feeder: Fake
Flower Garden Art: Real
Nails Bouquet: Fake
Kevin Dillon: Fake
February 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Ohhhhh goodness. If that “rusted nails bouquet” is real, I will buy it and drive it into my heart.
February 15, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Please don’t do it! I would hate to lose the humor.
Your comment is worthy of a bajillion thumbs up. I’m laughing so hard that my cat is looking at me oddly.
February 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Real
Real
Fake
Fake
Real
February 15, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Etys
Etsy
Etsy
Regretsy (only bcuz this has been done to death on etsy)
Etsy
February 15, 2012 at 2:25 pm
I’m calling the portrait as the fake. It can actually conceivably look like the person it’s meant to be, red flag!
February 15, 2012 at 2:25 pm
#1 – Etsy
#2, #3, #4 – Regretsy
#5 – Etsy
I was waffling on the Paula Abdul birdfeeder, but the reference to sealant and the “She’s Forever Your Girl!” at the end seemed too tongue-in-cheek for HappyFairyCupcakeUnicornPrincessMenstruationLand.
February 15, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I think it’s a trick question and they’re all real.
February 15, 2012 at 2:27 pm
I concur. All Etsy.
February 15, 2012 at 2:51 pm
That was my first thought, too. Because she said one was regretsy, I went with the simplest bullshit to put together and said Paula Abdul Hummingbird feeder was fake. But I wouldn’t be the least bit shocked if all of those were etsy listings.
February 15, 2012 at 3:31 pm
Me too.
Anticipating the horror is how I plan to cope with the revelation that someone made some of these and are selling them on the Internet.
You do realise, HK, that the next logical step after ‘Etsy or Regretsy’, is to open your own Etsy store and start selling your fake goods?
Then you will create Regretsiflation where others follow suit, all trying to outdo you to sell the stupidest thing on Etsy. We enter a perfect storm of tragicrafting and whimsicle fuckery, where the best of us die choking on glue fumes, glitter streaming from our noses.
February 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm
That would be so meta that the known universe would implode.
February 15, 2012 at 5:26 pm
She’s already provoked many of us to make front-page bait that is too stupid to be real. At least one did make it to the FP and got sold. Some rusty nail with some feathers attached. Here’s the listing. Maybe someone else will find and link the relevant Regretsy post.
Iron Angel (by Lady in the Tower)
I have high hopes for this one:
Little Nest, Big Egg (by FiksuVittu)
February 15, 2012 at 5:46 pm
clarification: the link to LITT’s listing is for the photo of the angel. The angel sold; the photo is still available.
February 15, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Oy – all of these could go either way. I particularly like the dice pattern on the pineapple, which makes me tend to think it’s from Etsy. I’ll go out on a limb and vote for the Kevin Dillon as being Regretsy. Just because.
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
February 15, 2012 at 2:27 pm
I’m guessing Real, Real, Fake, Fake, Fake.
February 15, 2012 at 2:27 pm
The Paula Abdul birdfeeder is a riot and I hope I’m wrong by saying you created it and not an etsy artist. It’s just WAY too under-priced. I’m sure you could get some crazy Abdul fan to pay a shit-load for this.
February 15, 2012 at 5:12 pm
So let me get this straight, you’re saying Paula Abdul has fans?
February 15, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Nails have GOT to be Regretsy, because you must have purposefully spelled ‘aesthetically’ right, but ‘guesstimated’ wrong. There is no way anyone could do that by accident.
I hope that the Paula Abdul birdfeeder is also Regretsy, because otherwise why? just WHY? At least make it Whitney Houston.
February 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Brilliant reasoning on the spelling.
February 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Whitney Houston hummingbird feeder is kind of tiny-genius.
February 15, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Your last sentence was my thought. If the birdfeeder is fake, the “real” Whitney’s won’t be far behind.
February 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm
I agree with you. I saw that “aesthetically” was correctly spelled and KNEW it couldn’t be from Etsy.
And a Whitney Houston hummingbird feeder?
OMFG I’M GETTING IN ON THIS TRAGICRAFTING CYCLE
February 15, 2012 at 2:28 pm
I’ll guess that the fakes are the junk drawer and the drawing. The first because it looks like something you could have thrown together in under three minutes and then gotten back to drinking, and the second because it looks like it might have been done by someone who can actually draw doing a bad job on purpose. But then, I’m always wrong.
February 15, 2012 at 2:51 pm
But aren’t a lot of Etsy items something you “could have thrown together in under three minutes and then gotten back to drinking”???
February 15, 2012 at 2:28 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 2:28 pm
They’re ALL REAL except Kevin Dillon! *runs and hides*
February 15, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Shockingly, that Kevin Dillon drawing is a pretty decent caricature.
February 15, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Nail bouquetis fake; if it were real it would be $50, not $5.
Plus, no gushing about the “patina”. Would a real Etsian Craftard miss extolling the virtues of rust?
February 15, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Well that wasn’t supposed to be posted there. I was aiming for the bottom.
Whoops.
February 15, 2012 at 2:37 pm
I’ve been aiming for the bottom for years.
February 15, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Bullseye!
February 15, 2012 at 2:28 pm
The drawing is the only real Etsy, the rest are priced way to low for anybody trying to make a living off this crap.
February 15, 2012 at 2:29 pm
-Pineapple felt thing: Etsy. I don’t think you could glue shit to other shit quite that good, HK.
-Paula Feeder: Regretsy. It just has to be.
-Junk Drawer thingy: Etsy. This was easy, I think I’ve actually seen it while perusing.
-Nails: Regretsy, I think. That was tough. Both Etsy sellers and HK could come up with that shit!
-Kevin Drawing: Regretsy. Too good to be Etsy.
February 15, 2012 at 2:42 pm
“I don’t think you could glue shit to other shit quite that good, HK.”
I GUESS YOU DIDN’T SEE THIS THEN
February 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm
April, that is amazing! That was a few months before I found Regretsy and I would have legally changed my name to Ashley had I seen this then.
I especially love the expression of bitter resentment of missed opportunities, the self-loathing, and “Ohmigod another fucking holiday with the in-laws” on your face. It all screams “Happy Holidays, Now Where’s the Fucking Vodka!”
February 15, 2012 at 3:13 pm
I can’t wait until you bring back April’s Army!
February 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm
Can we become besties so you can teach me to put on make-up when i’m sloppy drunk?
February 15, 2012 at 4:03 pm
I hadn’t seen that picture. The instant bulge in my pants scared the cat off my lap…
February 15, 2012 at 5:13 pm
Those pics need way more cleavage.
February 15, 2012 at 2:29 pm
I thnk the hummingbird feeder and nails are fake.
February 15, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Whatever is Regretsy, upon the reveal, then immediately needs to be sold. Because there’s a couple of things up there I actually would buy. I just refuse to admit what they are, or for how much. Did I take my medication today? If not, that could be why…
February 15, 2012 at 2:31 pm
They all look like they could easily be Etsy creations, God help us.
February 15, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I’m going to guess that the garden thing is real.
However, I desperately want the Paula Abdul hummingbird feeder to be real.
February 15, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I think they’re all real.
February 15, 2012 at 2:34 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Real
Fake
Real
Fake
Fake
February 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Agreed, though I can’t shake the image of April making that necklace for one of her tacky vacation costumes…
February 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Repeat after me: “A LOT IS TWO WORDS. A LOT IS TWO WORDS. A LOT IS…”
February 15, 2012 at 6:04 pm
I was going to go make puppet accounts so I could thumb this up A LOT MORE.
But then I remembered the reason for the existence of the alot:
So Allie Brosh, from Hyperbole and a Half, has just been reminded not to compusively correct other people’s grammar. Since she isn’t here, though — I think — I should be okay creating alot more accounts (and that’s a lot of accounts!) to give you the thumbs you deserve.
February 15, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Honestly I think they could all be Etsy. Gosh I feel sad about that . . . I am wondering about the nails though, because aesthetically is spelled correctly.
February 15, 2012 at 2:50 pm
My thought EXACTLY.
February 15, 2012 at 2:34 pm
I think:
The necklace is Real
The Hummingbird Feeder is Fake, if it were Whitney Houston I’d say Real.
Flower Garden Art: Real, and I want it. It’s interesting.
The Nails Bouquet is Real
The Kevin Dillon drawing is Fake, the artist isn’t quite clueless enough, and it actually looks like him.
February 15, 2012 at 2:35 pm
If the hummingbird feeder is fake, IT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL!
Really, you could say that about any of these. Except the Kevin Dillon portrait – Calling crayons and paper “mixed media” is where I draw the (badly drawn) line.
February 15, 2012 at 2:35 pm
This one is fiendishly difficult!
Felt necklace – real.
Abdul hummingbird feeder – I seriously pray it is fake.
Garden ornament – I think this may be shopped, so I say fake.
Nails – They scream real.
Portrait – Sadly, I think this is real.
February 15, 2012 at 2:36 pm
My best guesses:
Pineapple necklace- etsy
Paula Abdul birdfeeder- regretsy
Junk drawer assemblage garden art-etsy
Rusted nails bouquet- regretsy
Kevin Dillon portrait- etsy
February 15, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Paula The Birdfeeder, The Garden Art and The Fruity Necklace must be real.
I don’t think even the worst of Estiers would make a Rusty Nail Bouquet, and the portrait of Kevin Dillon is fake because if it were real it would be priced at about $600.
February 15, 2012 at 2:37 pm
I’m guessing the only fake is the drawing. It’s too good. The junk drawer garden art actually has rust on it from the materials sitting on the pan and getting wet. Or moist. Which is what that pineapple paradise necklace makes me.
February 15, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Fruit necklace, Etsy
Hummingbird feeder, is the only one I’m torn on, but I’m going to say Etsy (preemptive tragicrafting, perhaps?)
Garden art, Etsy, the “Re” stuff at the bottom is exactly pretentious enough for Etsy
Nails bouquet, Regretsy
Kevin Dillon, Regretsy
February 15, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Necklace is a definite Etsy. That could only have been created “in a smoke”.
Paula Abdul hummingbird feeder is fake, ‘cos she’s not dead yet. Simples.
Other three just look so Etsy I’d guess them as genuine.
February 15, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Necklace: Etsy
Feeder: Regretsy
Junk: Etsy
Nails: Etsy
Portrait: Etsy
February 15, 2012 at 2:38 pm
I seriously like the junk drawer thing.I think the humming bird feeder is fake. At least i hope it is, for the sake of the poor humming birds…
February 15, 2012 at 2:39 pm
The Paula Abdul Hummingbird Feeder and the Kevin Dillon Portrait are Regretsy.
Wasn’t sure about the feeder at first (and as others have said, if it were Whitney Houston, I would have declared it Etsy).
100% certain of the portrait…and I’ll bet that Bronc drew it (because he did such a nice job on the octopus on the back cover of the Finnish Folktales).
February 15, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I was going to wager my guess, but then I read Frankenoid’s comment and got sidetracked. I sooo want to name something Gushing Patina. I may have to adopt a cat. Or an indie band.
February 15, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Great. Now I’m hearing “Gushing Patina” in my head to the tune of “Waltzing Mathilda.”
Fortunately I’m not making up any lyrics, just those two words, over and over.
February 15, 2012 at 3:56 pm
I think “gushing patina” has something to do with the Plight of a Wombyn menstrual art.
Or wait! “gushing patina” has to do with menopause, right?
February 15, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Fruit Necklace – Real
Paula Abdul Feeder – Fake
Junk Drawer Garden Art – Real
Rusted Nails Bouquet – Fake
Kevin Dillon – Fake
February 15, 2012 at 2:39 pm
My guess is the necklace is fake, the rest are real. But I really like that necklace- It would look so good glued onto the hood of my car.
February 15, 2012 at 2:40 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 3:03 pm
NO CHEATING UNLESS YOU ARE STARRING IN A REALITY SHOW!
February 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm
February 15, 2012 at 2:42 pm
THe necklace is fake. Although hideously tacky, it’s too well made AND the blurb about it is too well written (“go bold or go home” sound like something Helen would say). Everything else is totally real.
February 15, 2012 at 2:45 pm
I think you might be right about the necklace, the blurb seems to be borrowed from the Whitney Houston Fun Fiber.
February 15, 2012 at 2:58 pm
All of the descriptiosn sound too intelligent to be Etsy. I wonder if April didn’t do some editing of a real Etsy listing.
February 15, 2012 at 2:43 pm
I swear I read that bit about quitting their day job as QUILTING their day job. I may be coming down with a case of Cupcakitis.
February 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Cupcake tits?
February 15, 2012 at 8:03 pm
If I had those, I would rent myself out as a backdrop for ebay photos.
February 15, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Hmmm…another difficult challenge.
I think the Entourage portrait has to be fake — all the shading lines are going the same way, which smacks of an actual artist trying too hard to be bad.
All of them have a better command of the English language than I am used to seeing on the real Etsy posts, but if one has to be real Etsy, I’d go with the junk drawer thing. I think we’re just missing the part where it’s tagged “steampunk”. Although, the poem actually rhymes, so….
I am ambivalent about the felt pineapple thing. I would think a real Etsian would charge more for the Sawavroski (I know, it’s Swarovski, and those aren’t) bling on the berry. Something about magical dewdrops or fairy tears, I imagine.
February 15, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Pineapple Necklace- Etsy
Feeder- Regretsy (please, please be Regretsy)
Junk “ART”- Regretsy
Bouquet- Regretsy
Portrait- Etsy
February 15, 2012 at 2:46 pm
I’m guessing that the junk drawer and the nails are fake, mostly based on the fact that they’re actually reasonably priced!
February 15, 2012 at 2:47 pm
1. If you sat down and assembled this insane pineapple necklace just for this feature, you have upped your game to Take-The-Pointy-Objects-Away level, so I’ll say this one is REAL.
2. The hummingbird feeder is FAKE. You totes made that up.
3. The Junk Drawer Assemblage is FAKE. It’s one of those magnetic hold-alls you get for the garage with a bunch of shit thrown into it.
4. The Nails have just got to be REAL. It wouldn’t be Etsy if it weren’t.
5. The portrait is REAL. It’s an awful drawing of some obscure celeb that some poor bitch is obsessed with and figures she can’t be the only one.
That is all.
February 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm
#3 – I see rust-bleed, that crap has been there for a while. Or hats off the HK.
February 15, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Everything is fake except the Junk drawer. And even if the Dillon portrait is real I still say it’s fake, I am prepared to defend that position with violence if necessary.
February 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm
I’m saying the Felt Pineapple necklace atrocity and the Junk Drawer hideousness are the actual Etsy items. Seriously tough call though. The rusted nails seem soooo Etsy that I therefor have to say they’re all April. Etsy-ites, she’s got your number!!
February 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm
The necklace must be real. If Helen did that, it would be a bikini top.
February 15, 2012 at 2:57 pm
YEAH…exactly! Or undies.
February 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm
And I would convo her to buy it.
February 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm
1. Pineapple necklace looks like the real fucking hipster deal.
2. Bird feeder looks real, maybe made by somebody hoping to cash in a tragicrafting thinking Abdul is next kick to the bucket.
3. Junk drawer looks like a fake to me.
4. The nails are recockulous enough to be real.
5. Drawing has got to be real as well.
February 15, 2012 at 5:34 pm
2. Or someone who can’t tell the difference between Paula Abdul and Whitney Houston?
February 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Necklace – ETSY
Hummingbird – REGRETSY
Junk Drawer Dealy – REGRETSY (has to be)
Nails – REGRETSY (I have to say this even if it is real)
Drawing – ETSY
February 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm
The fruit necklace has GOT to be fake and the rusty nail bouquet.
February 15, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Pineapple Necklace – REAL (it’s believable).
Hummingbird Feeder – FAKE (to reiterate previous comments made by others, if it was Whitney Houston it would totally be real).
Shit Drawer – People are saying it’s REAL (and I believe them, mostly because I’ve lost all faith in humanity).
Nails – FAKE (“aesthetically” spelled correctly? PULEEZ!).
Portrait – FAKE (I agree with Upchuck Norris-the shading is too well done).
SUCK IT TREBEK
February 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm
Thanks for the non-sequitur of Sean Connery there at the end. I laughed out loud.
February 15, 2012 at 2:58 pm
Team Junk Drawer. If it really was from Etsy, it would have been labelled as Steampunk.
February 15, 2012 at 3:00 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 3:11 pm
If you’re going to ruin the spirit of the game by searching before you guess, next time click on “all” categories and not just “handmade.”
February 15, 2012 at 4:07 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 4:40 pm
There are no prizes, but it IS a game and April clearly states that she’ll reveal the answers later. It’s more fun to burn off some brain cells trying to second-guess what an Etsy seller will put up for sale and what April will come up with in her cleverness.
Read the other posts—people are grading on spelling and punctuation, for chrissakes!
The fun is spending some serious time contemplating usage of exclamation points and price points.
Next time, if you look up the items, don’t say so in your post, ok?
February 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Why the spoilers?
February 15, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Real – who doesn’t love fruit?
Fake – I’m surprised Paula isn’t being mass produced by Chinese Resellers, but if it were real it would be Whitney (this week.)
Real – There’s way too much crap arranged strategically in there to be thrown together at the last minute
Fake – Guestimate? Etsy sellers know exactly how long their recycled rusty nails are!
Fake – What Etsy artist would sell the original masterpiece before making money of the prints?
February 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm
You’re not supposed to post spoilers
February 15, 2012 at 3:29 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm
The Paula Abdul Hummingbird Feeder is Regretsy. There’s no way any respectable bird would go anywhere near that thing.
February 15, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Fabulous Felt Pineapple Parashit: Regretsy. There’s no way that was created “smoke-free”.
Paula Abdul Hummingbird Feeder: Etsy – and if Paula were really my girl, she’d go all the way around the bottle, if you know what I mean.
Junk Drawer Ass-thing: I don’t know, when I try to read the description I keep hearing those violin screeches from Psycho and it’s hard to concentrate.
Tetanus Bouquet: Regretsy. Only a true sadist uses the “word” guestimating.
Original Portrait of Kevin Dillon: I hope this is Etsy. And I hope the seller has other HBO collections on offer. And I hope one of them is The Sopranos. And I hope I have enough money in my chequing account.
February 15, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Humming bird feeder is Regretsy. Everything else is just too fucking lame for words, so they MUST be Etsy. If most of it’s fake and only one item was Ets and I had to bet on one item for sure to be an Etsy item, the nail bouquet – definitely the nail bouquet. It goes with the nail/angel wing item some months back.
But I’m betting only the feeder is Regretsy and everything else is authentic Etsy crap for sale.
February 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm
The bird feeder, the nails, and the portrait are Regretsy. The necklace and the garden art are Etsy.
February 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm
I’m going to be contrary and go with the first 2 being fake and the rest real. I think the felt fruit thingy is well done, it has to be April..
February 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm
The pineapple necklace is real because it reeks of the project you make when you’re totally high on tooth surgery meds and then (because you lack any control of yourself) post it online thinking its amaaazing (not like I’ve ever done that.)
Paula Abdul is not real because if you were going to put a singer on a hummingbird feeder you would obviously choose Mariah Carey or some other hummingbird-feeder style-singer. But, Paula Abdul is more of a cat-feeder style-singer. (Justin Beiber is a good hamster-feeder type, etc)
Junk drawer Assemblage is real because of the rust letting us know its been in that women’s garden for years, but also because Etsy loves abusing the term “Assemblage” now.
Rusted nails bouquet is not real because rusted nails is soooo last season.
Kevin Dillon is a fake because anyone that pretentious about their own art would’ve signed it and then put comic sans copyright watermarks all over it.
February 15, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Hummingbird feeders ARE cat feeders, silly! Don’t you know anything?
February 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm
I could see the junk drawer thing being real, especially with the weird little rhyme, but the $25 price seems suspiciously low.
February 15, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Brainfuck these, still: E R E R E
February 15, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Considering you sometimes post in Finnish, I wondered for a moment what Erere meant. Then I realized it was English.
February 15, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Yup, simply E=Etsy, R=Regretsy. Now that you mention it E R R E R would perhaps have been a cool combination (French, alas for stray).
February 15, 2012 at 5:53 pm
I thought maybe that was the chorus from a dyslexic rendition of “Old MacDonald”
February 15, 2012 at 3:36 pm
I’m going with…
Real
Fake
Real
Real
Real
If the hummingbird feeder was Whitney Houston, I would have totally believed it.
February 15, 2012 at 3:37 pm
I’m going with
real
real
fake
i got nothin’
real
February 15, 2012 at 3:38 pm
I think the fakes are the nail bouquet and the bird feeder.
February 15, 2012 at 3:42 pm
I want to believe the Portrait is fake. I WANT TO. I want to believe April took 4 minutes to draw it on the last page of a crappy book. I refuse to believe someone actually wants 100 dollars for that.
The Pineapple necklace is real. I’ve seen worse, and people still buys it.
February 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Regretsy
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Etsy
February 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm
1 – Etsy. Someone is selling their child’s school project. Classy.
2 – Regretsy.
3 – Etsy. HK is too busy being a drunken, fat loser slob to make that.
4 – Regretsy. HK is not too busy being a drunken fat loser slob to make that.
5 – Regretsy. Though, I may be willing to pay her $5 to draw my picture.
February 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Fruit Loop: Etsy.
Scare-Away-the-Hummingbirds Feeder: Regretsy.
Tin-Man Scarecrow: Etsy.
Tetanus Bundle: Etsy.
Pencil Horror Mask: Regretsy.
Or the complete opposite.
February 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm
And I don’t know how to delete the multiple posts!…
February 15, 2012 at 4:42 pm
When you hit “Post Comment,” take a breath and wait. You must have hit it 3x. Sometimes the posts take a few seconds to show up.
February 15, 2012 at 4:45 pm
No: just once. I’m working with a mousepad on a new laptop that seems to have poltergeists.
February 15, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Sure, blame the poltergeists. What the hell did they ever do to you? Oh, right. Never mind.
February 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Fruit Loop: Etsy.
Scare-Away-the-Hummingbirds Feeder: Regretsy.
Tin-Man Scarecrow: Etsy.
Tetanus Bundle: Etsy.
Pencil Horror Mask: Regretsy.
Or the complete opposite.
February 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Fruit Loop: Etsy.
Scare-Away-the-Hummingbirds Feeder: Regretsy.
Tin-Man Scarecrow: Etsy.
Tetanus Bundle: Etsy.
Pencil Horror Mask: Regretsy.
Or the complete opposite.
February 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm
necklace- etsy
hummingbird feeder- regretsy
junk drawer art- etsy
nails- etsy
drawing- regretsy
February 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm
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February 15, 2012 at 4:29 pm
You’re doing it wrong.
February 16, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Sorry, my bad. I actually posted that before reading that it was a contest and we were supposed to guess which ones were/weren’t really from Etsy. I just saw the photos and assumed they were ALL Etsy. I’d seen the shop in a previous Regretsy post so I’d already favorited the Steak Dinner Necklace.
February 15, 2012 at 4:29 pm
SPOILER (of sorts)
Though that is pretty wickedly awesome.
February 15, 2012 at 4:44 pm
I’m glad the seller didn’t label it “kosher,” not with butter (dairy) on the same necklace as meat.
February 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm
I vote that the junk drawer thing is ‘shopped. Everything else is up for grabs. I’ll be shocked if the nails aren’t genuine Etsy.
February 15, 2012 at 4:03 pm
I am guessing:
Fruit necklace: fake
Hummingbird feeder: fake
Junk assemblage: real
Nail bouquet: fake
Portrait: real
February 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Fruit necklace- real
Abdul bird feeder- real (not too sure about this one)
Plate of metal shit- fake. At first I thought real, because I didn’t think anyone would take the time to make it for a gag, but then I realized it was all rusty shit a Regretsian wouldn’t mind dumping on a plate. The “recycle/reuse/repurpose” also seemed slightly fake for some reason.
Nails- fake? Again, not too sure.
Picture- real, or very convincing job with the description.
February 15, 2012 at 4:23 pm
I thought the “Recycle-Reuse-Repurpose” part was exactly what made the Junk Drawer Assemblage authentic. Also I have actually seen people just selling the contents of their junk drawer on Etsy, at least this person made something out of them. Then again, the word “Steampunk” is suspiciously lacking from the item’s description…
February 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm
All Etsy.
Now excuse me, I have to get back to burning images of Whitney Houston into cabbage leaves.
February 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Green, Savoy, or Bok Choy?
February 15, 2012 at 5:55 pm
YES
February 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm
This one was tough; they could easily all be etsy. Here’s my guesses:
1. etsy
2. regretsy
3. regretsy
4. etsy
5. etsy
February 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Oh and I am pretty sure the Kevin Dillon portrait and possibly the Paula Abdul Hummingbird Feeder are fake and the rest are real. The nails are pretty awesome actually.
The “seller” of the Kevin Dillon one is a little too well-spoken. And he/she will be making prints and “retains all rights to the orignal image”?!? Seriously?
Now, if the hummingbird feeder featured Whitney Houston then I’d find it more believable.
February 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm
After reading the other comments I see I’m not the only one who thought Whitney Houston would have been a better choice for the hummingbird feeder. And here’s me thinking I was being clever
It is pretty awesome that Helen took the time to create one of more of these items. Perhaps she should actually sell the fakes on Etsy.
February 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Fabulous Felt Pineapple Paradise Necklace
=Etsy (although the good spelling is suspicious)
Paula Abdul Hummingbird Feeder
=Regretsy
Junk Drawer Assemblange Flower Garden Art
=Etsy
Long Rusted Nails Bouquet
=Etsy
Original Portrait of Kevin Dillon ENTOURAGE
=Regretsy
I suppose I could search Etsy for these items, but it’s more fun trying to spot April channeling a foreign type of insanity. It’s interesting, and disturbing, that none of these are so obvious either way that we all agree.
February 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Regretsy
Etsy
Etsy
Etsy
Regretsy
February 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Real
Fake
Real
Fake
Fake
or wait a minute, …maybe… oh nevermind
February 15, 2012 at 4:20 pm
The Felt Necklace is the least ridiculous of the whole grup. Therefore, I think you’re trying to fool us by having that be the only made up listing.
February 15, 2012 at 4:27 pm
I admit it. I’m a pussy. I’m sitting this one out and just waiting for April to reveal all. I sit here and await being voted soundly down!
February 15, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Wait, do you WANT to be voted soundly down or not? Usually “soundly” is used to describe “beaten” or “spanked” and what were we talking about?
February 15, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I am thinking Etsy x5. TRICK QUIZ
February 15, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Ditto. Nothing there is unthinkable for Etsy.
February 15, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Necklace: Fake. I’m willing to bet April found a kit of felt fruit at a craft store and hot glued this together.
Hummingbird Feeder: Fake This reeks of photoshop to me, which is why I’m half sure I’m wrong.
Flower Garden Art: Real. And I find it strangely appealing, too. Is it weird that, if I had a yard, I might buy this?
Nails Bouquet: Real. This is too stupid not to be real. It feels so wrong, which is why it has to be right.
Kevin Dillon: Definitely real. I don’t think April would color all in the same direction like that.
Now let me sit back and be wrong about everything. Except the Junk Drawer. I want that to be real, somehow.
February 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Okay, I think the pineapple necklace and the junk drawer garden art are etsy, and the Paula Abdul hummingbird feeder, the nail bouquet, and the Kevin Dillon picture are regretsy.
Having said that, I could totally see *all* of these being real etsy items.
February 15, 2012 at 5:04 pm
I know that necklace is real because I stumbled across it recently.
I think the junk drawer is real because of the rust… It’s been put together and left for a while.
Please let the nail bouquet, the Abdul and the art be Regretsy… And put them up for sale if they are. I could only buy them ironically
February 15, 2012 at 5:06 pm
I don’t know – but if you made any of the regretsy stuff, you should turn them into a giveaway prize.
February 15, 2012 at 5:11 pm
My Guess (although, seriously, it wouldn’t surprise me if they were all Etsy):
Esty
Regretsy
Etsy
Regretsy
Regretsy
February 15, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Please restore my faith in humanity and tell me the Paula Abdul bird feeder is Regretsy.
….Who am I kidding, I lost my faith in humanity a long time ago. I think accidentally watching about 5 minutes of “The Jersey Shore” one night was the last straw.
February 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Felt pineapple: Etsy, I’m sure. It’s actually halfway well done for feltwork, although for an adult would look goofy. Adorable for a kid, though.
Paula Abdul: Regretsy, simply because it’s been so long since she was relevant, if ever.
Junk drawer thingie: Etsy; seen too many there exactly like that.
Nail bouquet and portrait: Shit, these are hard, because they’re crappy enough to be someone having the balls to sell on Etsy…and the stuff that can make Etsy a parody of itself. This is parody almost too close to the bone! I’ll say, bouquet Etsy, portrait Regretsy.
February 15, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Honestly, they all look like something I would see on the front page of etsy, so I am stumped.
February 15, 2012 at 6:16 pm
I agree! And if you add in Bronc’s photoshopping skills, ANY of them could go either way. But spelling “aesthetically” right makes me suspicious.
February 15, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Okay, I think the felt necklace is Regretsy because I think April might’ve had fun making it. I mean it does have glitters on it.
I think the Paula Abdul hummingbird feeder is probably also Regretsy because she’s not dead yet so no tragicrafting for her yet.
I really really hope that the junk drawer thing is Regretsy, but I have a strong, sad feeling that it’s Etsy.
I’m about 90% sure that the nail bouquet is Etsy.
And I also hope that the portrait is Regretsy, but I like to think that they have more talent than that, lol.
February 15, 2012 at 6:14 pm
The necklace is Etsy because it was clearly made from leftover shit from another crap project.
The bird feeder is Regretsy because it would not occur to the artists on Etsy to put Paula Abdul on a bird feeder. Maybe that dude from Twilight, but not Paula Abdul.
The junk drawer was made by a miserable stay-at-home mom who resents her fat husband for letting her master’s in clinical psychology go to waste and wants to punish him by ruining his shit and then accusing him of crushing her soul when he gets pissed about it….Etsy.
The nails are Regretsy because they were not photographed on barnwood.
The portait is Etsy because…well, look at it.
February 15, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Ok, that makes a lot of sense. Especially the Twilight, and the frustrated mother bits.
February 15, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Just spent the last two minutes screaming at my boyfriend, “For the love of god, the rusty nail bouquet is a real thing!!!?1!1″ He just knows to smile and nod at me at this point in our relationship.