I know, right? Why won’t everyone do everything exactly the way you want them to do it? Why should you be forced to occasionally do things the way others want? It’s just not fair.
I can’t get it to play either. When I become Emperor of the Internet my rule will be There Can Be Only One video player and we’ll all have it. Thus Spake Zipathustra.
I so need one of these!! Of course, it would make me an outcast among the other moms at kindergarten, but someone’s gotta take one for the team, am I right?
If I were to buy this for my husband, I would fear scaring him for life as he would have to try to live up to it forever. Then again, I don’t think buying one’s husband a giant penis would be appropriate.
I’m so confused now…
Shooting water over 20 feet is a cool feature and the whole fully functional thing is amazing.
On the same order, hubby and I are wondering if we should get it for the boys for playing in the yard. Run a pool with the fun neighbors for how long it will take to piss off the old cunt neighbor…hmmmm. Oh the fun the boys down at the station will have with THAT report!
I wonder how the artist got the model to show up. “Yeah, so you’re going to be posing nude with a giant penis sculpture that shoots water over twenty feet and has ball hair that looks like something that belongs on a Cabbage Patch doll.”
“The last thing I remember was lying on a plastic-covered bed and him whipping the drop cloth off some big pink rocket or mushroom or something and stomping on a big sack that was on the floor. Then I was knocked unconsious, and when I woke up later I was all wet and smelled like Raid. The good part is my crabs are gone. And there was also a box of chocolate.”
It would be much more fun if the thing had suspenders so one could run about fornicating with objest d’art in a much freer fashion. I’d hate to have an 8-foot cock rocket that I couldn’t carry by myself.
Do your pubes hang low, do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
like a continental soldier
Do your pubes…hang…low?
February 12, 2012 at 9:32 am
I can only assume you also purchased one of these for the NY meetup, HK.
February 12, 2012 at 6:11 pm
You misspelled “pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”
February 13, 2012 at 7:01 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 12, 2012 at 9:32 am
I really regret not getting that slip and slide giant vagina now.
February 12, 2012 at 9:32 am
Fully functional?
Suddenly I feel so inadequate. There is no way I could accomodate that thing to its fullest functionality.
February 12, 2012 at 6:12 pm
I hurt in ways I can’t adequately describe when I read that.
February 12, 2012 at 9:33 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 12, 2012 at 10:57 am
I know, right? Why won’t everyone do everything exactly the way you want them to do it? Why should you be forced to occasionally do things the way others want? It’s just not fair.
Poor baby.
February 12, 2012 at 11:36 am
I can’t get it to play either. When I become Emperor of the Internet my rule will be There Can Be Only One video player and we’ll all have it. Thus Spake Zipathustra.
February 13, 2012 at 9:34 am
I wondered if “Quicktime” and “Screw that” were a double entendre regarding sex and quickies and the poster was looking for “Slowtime” instead.
February 12, 2012 at 9:33 am
We need to attach this to one o’ them sumo suits and then throw the whole deal into a moon bounce… I’m sure it’ll be educational or whatnot.
~Beard_O
February 12, 2012 at 9:38 am
No, no, no. When will people learn that no penis sculpture can ever compare once you’ve seen “A Clockwork Orange.”
February 12, 2012 at 10:03 am
Or the Yes Men (with bonus Finland connection): http://theyesmen.org/hijinks/tampere
February 12, 2012 at 9:38 am
Yeah, the guys I meet thru online personals brag about stuff like this. Nice to see where they’re getting it from.
The Gentleman Adventurer says that it is unseemly to brag about the size of one’s genitals. Just wear tighter pants.
February 12, 2012 at 9:41 am
This is H&M’s new marketing campaign with David Beckham, right?
February 12, 2012 at 9:43 am
That is quite remarkable. I only wish I had somewhere to store such a prized possession.
February 12, 2012 at 9:50 am
Finally, a use for those parachute pants.
February 12, 2012 at 6:50 pm
The garbage is one place I can think of.
February 12, 2012 at 7:58 pm
you and I are of the same mind
February 12, 2012 at 9:43 am
With bug sprayers in the sack…just like the real thing!
February 12, 2012 at 9:48 am
OH, GOATSEEE…..
February 12, 2012 at 10:02 am
I so need one of these!! Of course, it would make me an outcast among the other moms at kindergarten, but someone’s gotta take one for the team, am I right?
February 12, 2012 at 10:02 am
The complement to Mimosa Pale’s Mobile Female Monument.
February 12, 2012 at 3:53 pm
We need to get those two together. FOR THE SAKE OF ART.
February 12, 2012 at 10:03 am
First, you saw a hole in the crate…
February 12, 2012 at 10:16 am
“Fully functioning”?
February 12, 2012 at 10:17 am
If I were to buy this for my husband, I would fear scaring him for life as he would have to try to live up to it forever. Then again, I don’t think buying one’s husband a giant penis would be appropriate.
I’m so confused now…
Shooting water over 20 feet is a cool feature and the whole fully functional thing is amazing.
February 12, 2012 at 10:20 am
Oh my god. That video was filmed in my city.
February 12, 2012 at 11:13 am
Mine as well. I am never going to look at those sculptures again without seeing them as vaginas. Or any O! anywhere, from now on.
February 12, 2012 at 10:25 am
“with bug sprayers in the sack”
For the scrotum weevils?
February 12, 2012 at 3:11 pm
“Scrotum Weevils” is my new phrase for pubic lice.
Thank you so much for this.
February 12, 2012 at 5:17 pm
Scrotum Weevils would be a great band name.
February 12, 2012 at 10:31 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 12, 2012 at 11:13 am
Oh my GOD, white men don’t have penises? I have had such a sheltered life.
February 12, 2012 at 11:50 am
I owe my one-eyed conjoined twin an apology for all the abuse over the years!
February 12, 2012 at 3:56 pm
My white ex-boyfriends were all apparently perpetrating a VERY clever hoax on me. Gosh. I wonder how they did it?
February 12, 2012 at 1:17 pm
A prudent question, but this scientific study (Wood 2008:15) shows,
February 12, 2012 at 10:41 am
On the same order, hubby and I are wondering if we should get it for the boys for playing in the yard. Run a pool with the fun neighbors for how long it will take to piss off the old cunt neighbor…hmmmm. Oh the fun the boys down at the station will have with THAT report!
February 12, 2012 at 10:47 am
There has to be a hose hook up involved. I want to put this thing in my garden this summer.
February 12, 2012 at 11:44 am
It looks as if they use the sprayers to build up pressure in the water chamber, like a Super Soaker.
February 12, 2012 at 11:11 am
I wonder how the artist got the model to show up. “Yeah, so you’re going to be posing nude with a giant penis sculpture that shoots water over twenty feet and has ball hair that looks like something that belongs on a Cabbage Patch doll.”
Do you think the guy was all “Sign me up?”?
February 12, 2012 at 11:18 am
I’d say so. He certainly looks quite pleased with his job.
February 12, 2012 at 11:26 am
I would be pretty pleased, too, if my pecker were that big. And I’m a chick!
February 12, 2012 at 11:38 am
It was probably a nice change from wearing glasses and holding Starbucks whilst wearing skinny jeans.
February 12, 2012 at 11:49 am
He is probably young and very involved in theatre and doing plays and being an actor and needs pictures
February 12, 2012 at 11:46 am
“The last thing I remember was lying on a plastic-covered bed and him whipping the drop cloth off some big pink rocket or mushroom or something and stomping on a big sack that was on the floor. Then I was knocked unconsious, and when I woke up later I was all wet and smelled like Raid. The good part is my crabs are gone. And there was also a box of chocolate.”
February 12, 2012 at 12:05 pm
Oh great – this shows up AFTER I send a link to regretsy to my mother.
February 13, 2012 at 2:05 am
You knew the risk.
February 12, 2012 at 12:08 pm
crap – scewed up the tag…must remember, “preview is my friend”
February 12, 2012 at 12:59 pm
I wasn’t aware they’d made a live version of “Beavis & Butthead.” Cool. Heh heh heh. Heh heh.
February 12, 2012 at 1:09 pm
Flight of the Conchords + Russian Viggo Mortenson + creepy guy with a giant wang sculpture.
February 12, 2012 at 1:17 pm
I honestly find myself terrified of this thing. I suddenly feel like investing in a chastity belt.
February 12, 2012 at 2:57 pm
The interview is even funnier than the video. Apparently penetrating a statue to Van Halen is “real art”.
February 12, 2012 at 4:07 pm
There’s an enormous styrofoam simulacrum of a cock and all I can focus on is the dainty way he points his toes!
February 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Is that Jeff Lynne from ELO?
Now I have “Don’t Bring Me Down” earwormed.
February 12, 2012 at 4:42 pm
I would have been much more impressed by the video had they filled the sprayer with vanilla pudding instead.
February 12, 2012 at 5:20 pm
Or milk.
February 12, 2012 at 6:52 pm
Or tartar sauce.
February 12, 2012 at 4:52 pm
It would be much more fun if the thing had suspenders so one could run about fornicating with objest d’art in a much freer fashion. I’d hate to have an 8-foot cock rocket that I couldn’t carry by myself.
February 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm
I want it to shoot bubbles.
February 12, 2012 at 5:25 pm
I have to admit, those O! sculptures were kinda asking for it.
February 13, 2012 at 2:06 am
Oh sure, blame the victims.
February 12, 2012 at 5:52 pm
I really like the lifelike flawy ball hair on the nut sack.
February 12, 2012 at 5:53 pm
flowy, not flawy. There is no flaw on that majestic beast cock.
February 12, 2012 at 6:51 pm
My gay brother would make some comment about equipment finally big enough for size queens…
February 13, 2012 at 11:17 am
Do your pubes hang low, do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
like a continental soldier
Do your pubes…hang…low?
February 13, 2012 at 12:42 pm
I think we just found the goatse dude’s boyfriend.
February 13, 2012 at 9:36 pm
add some leather penis rings with big shiny spikes, have it shoot “blood,” it’s all ready for Gwar!
February 16, 2012 at 8:40 am
Why thumbed down? Mandalamama is so right! (says this GWAR fan)
February 15, 2012 at 8:14 pm
If your loved one already owns the giant penis sculpture, you can always get them the handpainted resin zombie penis necklace:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/84686791/zombie-dick-hand-painted-resin-penis
From the item description:
“Zombie dick will fuck your brains out, then eat them.”