Happy Valentine’s Day!
This post first appeared on Regretsy on February 14, 2011
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In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that I bought out this entire shop last night.
DON’T HATE
Special musical bonus:
[wpaudio url="http://www.regretsy.com/images/audio/liberace_flowers.mp3" text="Liberace: You Don't Bring Me Flowers"]
February 12, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Bi-racial? Nonesense, the models for these are clearly aliens trying to pass themselves off as human; don’t sell yourself short, go with bi-species!
February 12, 2012 at 7:50 pm
The guy’s hands and legs ran together so that I thought he was a horse-man at first.
February 12, 2012 at 9:12 pm
Well, actually there’s really only one race on earth, the human race. Just different ethnic groups. So to be bi-racial one would need to be a human dating a Vulcan or a Wookie.
To be bi-species it would have to be a human dating a dinosaur.
February 12, 2012 at 4:37 pm
You do realize, of course, that this card clearly features Spock?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/67224571/my-guy-biracial-greeting-card
February 12, 2012 at 4:43 pm
He has such beautiful lashes.
February 12, 2012 at 4:39 pm
No hate, but plenty of snide laughter behind your back.
February 12, 2012 at 4:39 pm
This is more than a Valentine’s Day card. This is the gift of punctuation.
February 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Punctuation is exactly what I got this Valentine’s Day. A big, fat period followed by this guy >:(
February 12, 2012 at 4:41 pm
does the special musical bonus not work, or does it just not apply to single fat jealous losers?
February 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm
I’m married and it doesn’t work for me, either.
February 12, 2012 at 5:20 pm
sod it. i’ll just keep listening to the various cartoon tracks that’re already on high rotation in my head
February 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm
IT WORKS NOW! I can finally go on with my life…
February 12, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Why do I suspect that the blue lines of notebook paper have been Photoshopped off of these cards?
February 12, 2012 at 4:47 pm
I can clearly see I’ve been ignoring the proper usage of my artistic ability.
February 12, 2012 at 4:48 pm
WOW. Check out the feet:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/68947508/he-told-you-goodbye-biracial-greeting
These cards are so good, I’m almost sorry my husband and I are of the same race. I might get one anyway, just to keep him on his toes.
February 12, 2012 at 4:51 pm
There was a news story a while back, a woman’s hand was amputated, but they kept it alive by attaching it to her leg until her wrist healed well enough to put it back.
I think I know who the model was for that card…
February 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Wait, so her hand was amputated, but she already was missing a foot? Unless they attached the hand to the middle of her leg somewhere? Sounds like the unluckiest woman alive. When they took off her hand, she was probably like, “here we go again with the extremity amputations.”
Someone send her a card.
February 12, 2012 at 6:38 pm
They attached the hand to her ankle, so she had her normal foot and her hand next to said foot, like her calf branched off and there was a hand on one stem. I was mistaken about age, it was just a little girl.
Google ‘hand attached to leg’ and you get pictures!
February 13, 2012 at 11:09 am
Maybe they cut off her foot so they could attach a hand. From then it just went all haywire.
February 13, 2012 at 6:01 am
I thought that said ‘a woman’s head’ and I was very, very confused. I need more coffee I think.
February 12, 2012 at 5:30 pm
i particularly enjoy the strange human-reptilian style feet. Like walking on your hands!
February 12, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Wow. I didn’t know Arsenio Hall was humping Monica Lewinsky.
February 12, 2012 at 5:01 pm
“Put on your boots, Look Cute and stomp him out of your life.” Words to fucking live by.
February 12, 2012 at 5:02 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/67148845/im-sorry
@Zoreta Apparently these aliens cry urine.
February 12, 2012 at 5:04 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/67150438/im-sorry-black-greeting-card
I appreciate this card, its hard to find greeting cards that support human & lifesize cardboard cutout relationships.
February 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm
I looked at all the cards and tried to figure out which person was which race and am completely lost.
February 12, 2012 at 5:21 pm
I think that’s just part of the charm of these cards.
February 12, 2012 at 5:12 pm
HK/Bronc – your player loads this error in Firefox 10.0.1
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jPlayer 1.2.0 : id=’haiku-player1′ : Error!
Problem with Flash component.
Check the swfPath points at the Jplayer.swf path.
swfPath = http://static.regretsy.com/wp-content/plugins/haiku-minimalist-audio-player/js/
url: http://static.regretsy.com/wp-content/plugins/haiku-minimalist-audio-player/js/Jplayer.swf
Error: a._getMovie().fl_setFile_mp3 is not a function
———————-
February 12, 2012 at 7:48 pm
I just saw this. I’ll try to fix it. Sorry
February 12, 2012 at 5:15 pm
isn’t it odd none of the examples show biracial in it?
February 12, 2012 at 5:18 pm
You cleaned out the store? I guess that makes you “Buy Racial”.
February 12, 2012 at 5:20 pm
April, someday I’m going to turn all of my elementary school sketchbooks into greeting cards and send them to you. You seem to have a thing for a certain type of artwork…
I couldn’t let my picture of a soldier go, though. I wasn’t sure how to draw camo so I just wrote WAR on all of his limbs.
February 12, 2012 at 5:22 pm
All these characters look slightly feverish.
February 13, 2012 at 8:39 am
Feverish with LOVE…
February 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm
I want to be your Valentine, HK. I’m sure Bronc won’t mind…
February 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm
don’t we all? sucks that only one of us can be, though…
February 12, 2012 at 6:10 pm
I’m a fat, jealous loser over that person.
February 12, 2012 at 8:37 pm
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
February 12, 2012 at 5:43 pm
Oh, how it would make my
dayweekmonth to get one of these.February 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/68434896/he-told-you-goodbye-biracial-greeting
This card is amaze balls.
February 12, 2012 at 9:07 pm
Why does one of those girls have a gold eye? Is it like Geordie LeForge’s optical implants?
February 12, 2012 at 5:48 pm
This person needs a fucking greeting card Grammy. Someone make one and send it to them.
February 12, 2012 at 5:49 pm
I’m too drunk to do it myself.
February 12, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Sad art aside, it sounds like a really miserable relationship.
February 12, 2012 at 6:16 pm
This reminds me of the early “Nude with Backache” post, that I remember to this day…
February 12, 2012 at 8:00 pm
Beiber, bi racial art, sponge bob, glittery sparkling hearts……..sensory overload!!!
February 12, 2012 at 8:15 pm
“There’s a lot more where this came from, if you’ll go to the dance with me.” ~Napoleon Dynamite
February 13, 2012 at 4:57 am
There really should be a “I caught you a delicious bass” greeting card.
February 13, 2012 at 8:26 am
I wonder how long the shading on the upper lips took…..
February 12, 2012 at 9:05 pm
I’m a bit confused by the final sentiment. You mean the only thing that makes him your kinda guy is the fact that he buys you things? I see…
February 13, 2012 at 2:33 am
Actually, that is where my cheesy-detector got overruled by my snark-appreciator resulting in a direct hit in the cœur.
February 13, 2012 at 6:05 am
I was unsure of the quality of the cards; so I sent one to the Dean of Student Dating and Marriage Arrangement at Bob Jones University. He told me to “fuck off, you mulatto-half-breed-heathen whore.” So by that metric, these cards are pretty good.
February 13, 2012 at 7:30 am
I’m just glad that those of us with freakishly long thumbs are finally being recognized.
Represent, seller. Represent.
February 13, 2012 at 8:49 am
OK, so which one is bi? I hope its the girl.
February 13, 2012 at 9:46 am
I wonder if the person also does “bi-bi-love” cards for the polyamorous?
February 13, 2012 at 10:06 am
I just bought this one. I had to. The girl has six toes on her foot and they all look like fingers. There’s a Regretsy fabricated folktale in that.
February 13, 2012 at 5:58 pm
Donchu go givin’ that seller no tree fiddy.
(South Park)
–/–
February 13, 2012 at 6:00 pm
You know, I don’t know why this card is here. I’ve never seen such skilled art, such realistic portrayals of the human form, such…oh fuck it, I can’t do it.
Is the seller 11 or what’s the deal here?
February 13, 2012 at 7:08 pm
OK, I’m late to the party here, but who is that on the audio track? It hurt to listen once, so I’m not going back and listening again.
February 13, 2012 at 8:09 pm
Oh, no, you di”n”!
February 13, 2012 at 10:59 pm
I’m distracted. Am I listening to Liberace?
February 14, 2012 at 10:52 am
I’m tempted to buy out that store myself. There’s a lot of love in it. Ok, it’s a naive sort of never-heard-of-perspective love but damn it, it made me feel less cynical for at least 20 seconds and that’s freaking priceless.
February 15, 2012 at 8:24 am
Have no fear about buying out the store. The seller assures us “They are unique. However, I renew the cards for others to order.”
Fuckery for all. UNIQUE renewable fuckery for all! Oh frabjous day!
February 15, 2012 at 8:22 am
CONTEST : find a dialog between the guy with no leg and the pregnant girl.
Don’t forget that the title of the card is : “I’m sorry for hurting you”