257

Don’t look a gift Norse in the mouth

WHATEVER, HATER

That’s right, I bought one yesterday. I’m wearing it to the NYC meet-up.

UPDATE 2/24/12:

257 comments on Don’t look a gift Norse in the mouth

  1. TheSheep
    February 9, 2012 at 9:32 am

    Oh my FUCK I need this!

    Thumb up Thumb down +196

    • Bitcheslovecrafts
      February 9, 2012 at 11:11 am

      WHY DON’T I OWN THIS ALREADY

      Life is so unfair

      Thumb up Thumb down +90

    • Varietas
      February 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm

      I am a woman in construction. I would wear the HELL out of that when I get sent to a new job site. Fuck Yeah.

      Thumb up Thumb down +272

      • RedSoloCup
        February 9, 2012 at 3:57 pm

        YESS!! This would be the most awesome thing for keeping your face warm AND leveling the playing field in a male dominated profession. Wish I had more thumbs for you, sweets!

        Thumb up Thumb down +83

        • GranoblasticMan
          February 9, 2012 at 6:16 pm

          You have my thumb.

          Thumb up Thumb down +37

          • TickleMeWeasel
            February 9, 2012 at 6:49 pm

            AND MY AXE

            Thumb up Thumb down +149

          • SpyGlassez
            February 9, 2012 at 9:00 pm

            AND MY VUVUZELA!

            Thumb up Thumb down +40

          • Midnight Rambler
            February 9, 2012 at 10:46 pm

            AND MY CODPIECE!

            Thumb up Thumb down +29

          • M
            February 10, 2012 at 1:23 am

            And my scissors.

            ‘Cause that beard looks a bit long and I’m worried it might get caught in something potentially destructive, on a construction site

            Thumb up Thumb down +62

      • Basil
        February 9, 2012 at 4:37 pm

        You could get one made to go over a hard hat: “WHY YES, I AM WEARING MY HELMET.”

        Thumb up Thumb down +62

      • TwilightM81
        February 9, 2012 at 6:18 pm

        I am also a woman in construction & that is the BEST idea I’ve ever heard! I just may have to use it!

        Thumb up Thumb down +33

        • Varietas
          February 9, 2012 at 9:49 pm

          I like to keep my coworkers off balance. I tend to be happy and easy going, everyone calls me Sunshine. But as soon as someone crosses my boundries, I hit back hard. Otherwise they will walk all over you. One of my favorites is to smile sweetly then flip them off or curse like a Regretsy sailor. I also like to use big words so they don’t know I’ve insulted them until they have already started to walk away.

          Thumb up Thumb down +22

        • Clumber
          February 9, 2012 at 11:12 pm

          I am an IT dork who happens to be the first one in to our State Agency’s building every morning. They just installed spycams to watch the entrances. I have been wearing my Guy Fawkes mask, or having my (service)dog wear it, each morning to fuck with… well with anyone. I need to expand my FUCK YOU wardrobe and get every one of these fabulous fuckerying items.

          I think my dog (the one over <—there as the avatar) would look best in the bearded viking one, please.

          Thumb up Thumb down +37

    • eitherorlok
      February 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm

      ETSY, today you have delivered!

      Thumb up Thumb down +31

    • elsmama
      February 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm

      WANT!!!

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • manybellsdown
        February 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm

        SO MUCH WANT!

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • elsmama
        February 9, 2012 at 4:38 pm

        See, I deserve these because I am from Minnesota. See, Vikings, right? So, when will they arrive?

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

        • GranoblasticMan
          February 9, 2012 at 6:18 pm

          Years back, when I was in Munich at a language school with a diverse group of international classmates, I was disturbed to realize I associate “Viking” with “Minnesota” before I associate it with “Norway.”

          Thumb up Thumb down +27

    • lufromtheash
      February 9, 2012 at 6:13 pm

      I actually started knitting one for my brother the other day, realized he wouldn’t wear it, and ripped it back out. Shoulda kept going apparently.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • dobegrrrl
      February 9, 2012 at 6:28 pm

      Yes Please! I’ll take mine in “Uhtred of Bebbenburg”

      /nerd

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • Postmenopaws ™
        February 10, 2012 at 12:23 am

        King Magni Bronzebeard is free of the stone!

        /nerd2

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • 53raptor
      February 9, 2012 at 9:41 pm

      I want one so badly I could cry.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

  2. HaloSoap
    February 9, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Oh my, this is AMAZING!

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

    • fairyberryfizz
      February 9, 2012 at 9:55 am

      I know! Lemme see…I need one to be Eomer, one to be Gimli, one to be King Leonides….

      Thumb up Thumb down +46

      • Mystik Spiral
        February 9, 2012 at 11:12 am

        I need one for each member of the family (including my month-old baby girl), and that will no doubt make for the most unexplainable Christmas card Grandma will ever receive.

        Thumb up Thumb down +287

        • Mugsy Doodle
          February 9, 2012 at 11:21 am

          And the most memorable!

          Thumb up Thumb down +21

        • vstorevigilante
          February 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

          And if it ever ends up on Awkward Family Photos, hoards of FJLs will comment with the (usually fucking irritating but in this case totally warranted) “OMG, THIS ISN’T AWKWARD. WHAT IS IT DOING ON THIS SITE? THIS IS AWESOME! CAN’T YOU FIND ANY AWKWARD PICS ANYMORE?”

          Thumb up Thumb down +47

        • harlequin_eyes
          February 9, 2012 at 4:53 pm

          You should let people sign up to get one. I would LOVE “A Viking Family Christmas” card!

          Thumb up Thumb down +12

  3. Lola
    February 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

    OH MY FUCKING GOD, I just had a spasm! HOW MUCH ARE THESE???

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

    • Lola
      February 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

      Oh wow I had such a fit I didn’t see the one with the price on it. Seriously $65 is a DEAL!

      Thumb up Thumb down +68

      • whimsiclefucker
        February 9, 2012 at 11:00 am

        INORITE? What is that, like $50 worth of yarn?

        Thumb up Thumb down +43

        • whimsiclefucker
          February 9, 2012 at 11:07 am

          Kristuksen vittu, it’s already up to $95, no doubt thanks to you fat jealous losers!

          Thumb up Thumb down +34

          • Cindy-Lou Hoohoo
            February 9, 2012 at 5:49 pm

            This is clearly worth buying at ANY price.

            Thumb up Thumb down +9

          • WateryTart
            February 10, 2012 at 6:18 am

            WF, you are looking at the “Crocheted Celtic Warrior Helm Top Knot and Beard” listing (which is also awesome), not the “Crocheted Viking Dwarf Hat with Beard Made to Order”.
            The seller’s awesomeness has not diminished via predatory pricing.

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

  4. knpeterson81
    February 9, 2012 at 9:34 am

    These are fucking amazing.

    I have a thing for beards so this is really turning me on. I don’t crochet, but I do knit. I’m feeling inspired now and I think I know what I’m making my husband for our anniversary this year. Now when he decides to shave I can force him to wear one of these.

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

    • crazymonkey
      February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

      There’s a dwarven battle bonnet pattern for sale on ravelry.588 projects to peek through for inspiration, too. :D

      My husband doesn’t shave his beard, lucky me. :D

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • EyeHeartSpiders
      February 9, 2012 at 1:59 pm

      I absolutely hate beards but I’d still love one of these.

      For that matter, if real beards felt anything like crocheted yarn I’d probably be a bigger fan of those, too.

      This is some gorgeous, hilarious, brilliant work.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • Postmenopaws ™
        February 10, 2012 at 12:27 am

        Some beards, especially those of the ginger variety (which turn brilliant, gorgeous WHITE with age), tend to be very soft indeed. Not quite as soft as yarn, but not scratchy at all, either. Kind of poodly hair soft.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Postmenopaws ™
      February 10, 2012 at 12:25 am

      Oh god yes, beards.

      I called my son in to look at these, and he immediately said, “Looks like dad.” Then we discussed ways of affording such yarny magnificence.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  5. Oakhurst
    February 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

    These are BRILLIANT, and a bargain at the price.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

    • FluffyBunnyTurds
      February 9, 2012 at 10:16 am

      That was my thought, too. These are fantasically awestein, definitely worth more than what they’re asking for them.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  6. Digitalis
    February 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Just the thing for when I’m pining for the fjords!

    Thumb up Thumb down +131

  7. bethanythemartian
    February 9, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Dwarf hat with beard and MOHAWK? Sign me the fuck up! Dammit. I wish I wasn’t broke on top of being fat, lazy, and jealous.

    Thumb up Thumb down +75

    • RedSoloCup
      February 9, 2012 at 3:59 pm

      I know…the mohawk is fucking bonkers awesome. Genius, pure and simple.

      I could pee myself I love that so much..

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • Whirlwitch
        February 9, 2012 at 5:19 pm

        Sorry to go all pedantic on you, but that’s a Roman Legionnaire helmet, and they come with that brush on them.

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

        • Aina Tuhnunhaisu
          February 10, 2012 at 12:22 am

          That could be a tribune’s helmet’s crest.

          /pedantic

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

  8. monkey33
    February 9, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Yosemite Gimli!

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  9. Petja-Herra
    February 9, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Kristuksen vittu!
    This is absolutely fucking amazing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +89

    • Mugsy Doodle
      February 9, 2012 at 9:45 am

      Is that the literal translation of Kristuksen vittu?

      Adding it to my list!

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Petja-Herra
        February 9, 2012 at 9:51 am

        Christs Cunt is perfect translation.

        Thumb up Thumb down +61

        • Petja-Herra
          February 9, 2012 at 9:52 am

          or Cunt of Christ??

          Thumb up Thumb down +27

          • Mugsy Doodle
            February 9, 2012 at 10:02 am

            Well, “Christ’s Cunt” is the same thing as “Cunt of Christ”—both are possessive, but “Christ’s Cunt” can be said faster and with more anger.

            So, Christ’s Cunt it is!

            p.s. I’m so happy we’re bringing you and your wife to NYC! I’m looking forward to Petja Palooza!!

            Thumb up Thumb down +24

          • Petja-Herra
            February 9, 2012 at 10:11 am

            Mugsy Doodle; Did you see the video thanks

            Thumb up Thumb down +14

          • Mugsy Doodle
            February 9, 2012 at 10:35 am

            Petja, I’d forgotten about the video—and that you’d translated “vittu” as “cunt” before. I love that you did that for us! (“That” refers to both the video and the translation.)

            Now, I have to go and buy a Petja USB drive. If it arrives in time for me to have it when we FJLs meet you, maybe you can autograph it for me?

            Thumb up Thumb down +14

          • HalfNote5
            February 9, 2012 at 11:53 am

            Mugs: True, but with the possible exception of hitting your hand with a hammer.

            Then a vehement and well enunciated “Cunt of Christ!!” would DEFINITELY be apropos. ; )

            Thumb up Thumb down +17

          • Petja-Herra
            February 9, 2012 at 12:08 pm

            Kyrpärysä will also work.

            Thumb up Thumb down +12

          • Mugsy Doodle
            February 9, 2012 at 12:18 pm

            “Kyrpärysä will also work.”

            Sure, easy for YOU to say!

            Thumb up Thumb down +20

          • Petja-Herra
            February 9, 2012 at 12:39 pm

            Have you seen this. It is a new part of my of my site
            http://ihmiskunta.org/cursecenter/

            Thumb up Thumb down +11

          • Aina Tuhnunhaisu
            February 9, 2012 at 1:05 pm

            @Mugsy: This does a surprisingly good job on the pronunciation (click on the speaker icon in the lower right corner of the “Finnish” box). A bit clinical, of course, but one can always add emotion.

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

          • Petja-Herra
            February 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

            Kyrpärysä
            Not Kyrpä ryssä.

            Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • EyeHeartSpiders
            February 9, 2012 at 2:10 pm

            Why does Google Translate think “vittu” means “fuck” rather than “cunt?”

            One of those is a verb, dammit!

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • Petja-Herra
            February 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

            Because it is made ​​by someone kusirunkkari

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

          • EyeHeartSpiders
            February 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm

            Oh good grief, that site is hilarious. Look at all the snarky little explanatory texts.

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • Petja-Herra
            February 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

            One of the changes each day.
            The second change every week.
            The third is changed once a month.

            Curse Shop for a limited time some of the products.

            Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • Aina Tuhnunhaisu
            February 9, 2012 at 2:54 pm

            Fixed link for kyrpärysä. Sorry about that, the meaning is changed substantially: “ryssä” = Russian person (derogatory), “rysä” = fyke (picture).

            Thumb up Thumb down +3

          • manybellsdown
            February 9, 2012 at 4:26 pm

            I love that video so very much Petja.

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • Dicere
            February 9, 2012 at 7:59 pm

            I used to work for a Catholic Archdiocese, and go to know several nuns. I need to learn this phrase – perhaps as a greeting?

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

          • Dicere
            February 9, 2012 at 10:59 pm

            I’ve already been told by a nun that I’m going to hell, so I can say stuff like that without worrying about the consequences. It’s not like the worst isn’t already going to happen, right?

            (I wiped the chalice and paten with the wrong dishtowel. Mortal sin, apparently. Forget murder, adultery – bad kitchen habits, that’s the biggie!)

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • Petja-Herra
            February 9, 2012 at 11:42 pm

            At Dicere
            Why would you worry about
            without the ball intestines
            happiness steal, or borrow
            before long, you’re dead

            Thumb up Thumb down +3

          • Petja-Herra
            February 10, 2012 at 12:24 am

            I’ll post next week a new video curse.
            You may submit a proposal on facebook, what word shown in the video.http://www.facebook.com/pages/Finnish-Curse-Center/185431414889669

            Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • Dicere
            February 10, 2012 at 1:01 am

            @ Petja-Herra: I appreciate the sentiment, and thank you for the thought – it’s very nice :) My personal belief is that the positive or negative energy you generate in your life follows you to another plane of existence – but this is a conversation best to have with good music and good alcohol. If you’re ever in Tasmania, come say hi to me! I know a very friendly pub and some great musicians.
            In re “Cunt of Christ” – it really does sound the perfect descriptor for one particular nun I met. I met other religious who were absolutely lovely; but when it comes to a woman of God who tried to force me into quitting my job when I’d just had a miscarriage and found out my father has an inoperable brain tumour, I’m a tad bitter.

            Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • Petja-Herra
            February 10, 2012 at 1:22 am

            I think that I once saw a nun in Finland.
            Or I was drunk and so fucking big penguin.

            Thumb up Thumb down +16

          • Mugsy Doodle
            February 10, 2012 at 7:59 am

            @Dicere: I used to be Catholic (including 12 years of school) and the majority of the nuns I met where like the Hell Spawn you worked for.

            When I was in college and working in a local 5&10, one of the lay teachers from my grammar school came in. She hadn’t been my teacher, but the school was small enough (fewer than 800) that everyone knew everyone. She was always a sweetie, but that day she went up on a gold pedestal in my heart: She told me that she always felt so bad for those of us who suffered with the hateful, attrocious (and she didn’t have to say un-Christianlike) behavior of the nuns who’d been there forever. Now, she said, the younger nuns are so loving and nice to the children.

            I like your belief about good and bad energy. I’m not sure, anymore, if there is an afterlife, but that’s for me to deal with. For the time being, I focus on trying to put out a lot more good energy than bad into the world. Kharma’s a bitch and she could bite me while I’m alive!

            Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • Petja-Herra
            February 10, 2012 at 8:16 am

            I know of one Catholic. But I know a lot of people.

            Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Petja-Herra
      February 9, 2012 at 12:42 pm

      I think that the next winter, this is timely.
      This is jumalattoman awesome

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  10. Mugsy Doodle
    February 9, 2012 at 9:44 am

    She did a custom Viking headpiece and the customer was overjoyed—said it was a huge it at the Vikings football game to which her husband proudly wore it.

    http://www.etsy.com/transaction/59556019

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  11. blackgermanshepherd
    February 9, 2012 at 9:45 am

    Great piece, but I’m experiencing a major FJL “DUH” moment. Why does the post say “HATER”?? I must have missed something somewhere. Forgive me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Mugsy Doodle
      February 9, 2012 at 9:58 am

      Hi BGS!

      I think it means that April bought this (yesterday!) and knows we’re all drooling in jealousy, so “HATER” is a link to the page, showing that it was already purchased (so we FJLs can’t purchase it). Or maybe she’s gotten all ghetto on our asses. One or the other. Or both. Or neither. Damn. I’ve gone and confused myself again!

      Thumb up Thumb down +21

      • blackgermanshepherd
        February 9, 2012 at 10:22 am

        Hey Mugs!!

        HAHAHA…Yeah, I think you’re are spot on! …and that seller specified NOT to purchase that listing…I recall reading something like that! Hah! HK getting all “ghetto on our asses”…LOL!!

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • RedSoloCup
        February 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm

        That’s exactly what I was thinking. SHE got one and the rest of us will have to wait, right?

        I’m going to need help figuring out what to get.

        Haters gonna hate…but normally that hate is just sheer jealousy in disguise. So, I am a hater right now because I is so fucking jealous at this moment since I want one now.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  12. Anonymys
    February 9, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -22

    • EyeHeartSpiders
      February 9, 2012 at 2:15 pm

      Snorg has individually custom-made crocheted-to-order beards? Yeah, no. They have this lame-ass mass-produced version for $45.
      http://www.snorgtees.com/long-barbarian-hat

      They have others. None are as good as the above and none is anywhere NEAR as awesome as this artist’s work.

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

      • Diacritical Snark
        February 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

        Speaking of Snorg, does it make Bronc crazy to see that “Meh” tee ad?

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • RedSoloCup
        February 9, 2012 at 4:04 pm

        Yeah…I don’t want a mass produced one. That’s not as cool as these, not anywhere close to these.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Postmenopaws ™
        February 10, 2012 at 12:37 am

        The massed-produced versions lack any dignity at all.

        The customized ones featured here: GLORIOUS

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  13. BellyBillboard
    February 9, 2012 at 9:46 am

    my life long dream of becoming Hagar the Horrible can now come true!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  14. Mina
    February 9, 2012 at 9:49 am

    My only problem with these is that I want them all and it’s probably really difficult to wear them all at the same time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +54

    • berge
      February 9, 2012 at 11:21 am

      But it would be entertaining to try! (Entertaining for us! Please try!)

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • .Rana.
      February 9, 2012 at 3:11 pm

      Obviously you must figure out how to grow a few more heads.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • Postmenopaws ™
        February 10, 2012 at 12:38 am

        Yes. YES! I need one in “Barbie size.” Yeah…Barbie head size. Heh heh…heh

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

  15. Loapaja
    February 9, 2012 at 9:51 am

    OMG MY LIFE – IT IS NOW COMPLETE.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  16. Vaeyn
    February 9, 2012 at 9:51 am

    I want every one of those.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  17. Vagrarian
    February 9, 2012 at 9:57 am

    There was an old man with a beard,
    Who said, “It is just as I feared!
    Two owls and a hen,
    Four larks and a wren
    Have all built their nests in my beard!”

    -Edward Lear

    Thumb up Thumb down +71

    • Whirlwitch
      February 9, 2012 at 5:51 pm

      I suddenly have AN AWESOME NEW DESIGN IDEA for the seller!

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

  18. jezebel
    February 9, 2012 at 9:58 am

    THAT!! THAT RIGHT THERE is what I need to wear when I’m running the “Ragnar” leg of the Wasatch Back Ragnar Relay!!! Not a plastic-made-in-China-cheap-ass-party-store-Viking-hat…THAT!!!! (Clicks away to mark as favorite)

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  19. KittyHas8nips
    February 9, 2012 at 10:05 am

    Fucking Epic…and Toasty!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • KittyHas8nips
      February 9, 2012 at 10:09 am

      Lolz, just as I posted, I thought of a great poem by Shel Silverstein…

      My beard grows to my toes
      I never wears no clothes
      I wraps my hair
      Around my bare
      And down the street I goes

      Thumb up Thumb down +54

      • Mugsy Doodle
        February 9, 2012 at 10:15 am

        Great minds think alike! When I refreshed the page I saw Dror’s hairy cuteness in an ad on the side and had a fleeting, wonderful fantasy of having one of these made extra-long and having Dror wear it. Yum…

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

  20. nitebyrd
    February 9, 2012 at 10:08 am

    Crap! Living in Florida sucks. Might be worth moving to Canada just to be able to buy one of these.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • andlikeit
      February 9, 2012 at 8:40 pm

      I live in FL, too and I think you could rock this anyway. It’s never too warm to dress as a viking.
      And let’s be honest: Snow/cold/winter is pretty for the first 22 seconds. After that you freeze your nuggets off and you’re miserable.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  21. I happened to Baby Jane
    February 9, 2012 at 10:08 am

    The grey one is EPIC. I’m thinking of changing out my white Yak beard for this as St. Nicholas next December. With a mitre and cape it will be fierce.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  22. amascovs
    February 9, 2012 at 10:11 am

    I’M GOING TO NEED $65.

    Seriously.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  23. BadMiya
    February 9, 2012 at 10:15 am

    Oh my….Loki here, it’s amazeballs!!!!
    I may rub myself Thor in my bunker thinking of this glorious fuckery.

    I wonder if they Freyja easily?

    Thumb up Thumb down +49

    • HalfNote5
      February 9, 2012 at 11:57 am

      Odin know, but I’ll be the seller could tell you…

      Thumb up Thumb down +29

      • Diacritical Snark
        February 9, 2012 at 12:55 pm

        Nothing to Tyr up over…just spray it with MidGard!

        Thumb up Thumb down +26

        • HalfNote5
          February 9, 2012 at 3:02 pm

          I dunno, MidGard works but it smells pretty bad. Anyone else in the house Valhalla at you.

          Thumb up Thumb down +21

          • Diacritical Snark
            February 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm

            It’s true…MidGard does smell like Asgard.

            Thumb up Thumb down +23

          • BadMiya
            February 9, 2012 at 8:50 pm

            Baldur-dash, Midguard doesn’t smell that bad. I wonder if the seller could Sweden this deal with a Valkyrie hat. There’s Norway I’d pass that up.
            I wonder how soon they could Finnish it.

            Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • manybellsdown
      February 10, 2012 at 8:14 am

      I hope mine arrives Bifrost, or my ears will freeze!

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • WhyMustThisBe
        February 22, 2012 at 3:32 am

        I love you all so much.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  24. justval00
    February 9, 2012 at 10:21 am

    There is a god and he blessed this crafter with a gift. A wonderful gift. Where is my credit card??

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  25. thecreightonberyl
    February 9, 2012 at 10:32 am

    YUMPIN’ YIMINY! LOAD THE VOLVOS! MAN THE LONGBOATS! PASS THE LUTEFISK! WE SAIL FOR BALLARD!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  26. kittenlamieux
    February 9, 2012 at 10:33 am
    • KittyViolet
      February 9, 2012 at 4:48 pm

      ^THIS. I, too, want a Valkyrie helmet!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  27. picklelady
    February 9, 2012 at 10:38 am

    I’ve loved these long time. Never seen ‘em so CHEAP! ‘course, now the seller will be swamped and there’ll be a 4-month wait, and the price will double… Thanks, regretsy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  28. Steampink
    February 9, 2012 at 10:41 am

    I fucking need one of these right now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • HalfNote5
      February 9, 2012 at 11:50 am

      We all do.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • MrsHankie
        February 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -13

        • RedSoloCup
          February 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm

          OK…speaking for myself.

          I NEED ONE OF THESE!!!

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • catherder
      February 9, 2012 at 5:54 pm

      I need one for my FIL. We gave him a Viking hat several years ago.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  29. Phoenix_Falls
    February 9, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Now, being a woman, I too have the rights to say “By my full and manly beard!” I’m so getting one of these

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  30. Diacritical Snark
    February 9, 2012 at 10:47 am

    I want a Cheery Littlebottom!

    (that’s what she said…)

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

    • Mugsy Doodle
      February 9, 2012 at 11:03 am

      Well, you know the dwarf elders will not be happy. Bad enough she’s wearing skirts, but now, to wear a fake beard? Blasphemy!

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Diacritical Snark
        February 9, 2012 at 12:49 pm

        Nah, only a fake for ME…hers is still real.
        (how does she keep her stache from scrubbing off her lipstick?)

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Mugsy Doodle
          February 9, 2012 at 1:10 pm

          Oops, forgot she hasn’t shaved it off. She is multitalented, keeping the stache AND her lipstick perfect. Sam Rimes hires only the best…except maybe for Fred and Nobby, but better to have them on the force where you know where they are then out in the world. (And Nobby is the last person who should have one of these beards. His species is hard enough to pin down as it is.)

          Thumb up Thumb down +12

          • HumorlessFiona
            February 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm

            Don’t forget Jewels (Jools). She had a fake beard. I wonder if it was ‘as soft as a very soft thing’?

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • Diacritical Snark
            February 9, 2012 at 3:38 pm

            Carrot could probably use one.

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

          • Whirlwitch
            February 9, 2012 at 6:17 pm

            Mugsy – Sam Vimes didn’t hire Fred and Nobby. They’re relics of the Night Watch before he took over.

            Would you actually WANT to pin Nobby’s species down? I don’t think it’d look that good in a velvet-backed display case, is all I’m saying.

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • treacle_tart
            February 9, 2012 at 11:51 pm

            If we could just get someone to knit us a Throne of Scone we’d be set! I can’t knit or I’d be making one already…

            Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • Mugsy Doodle
            February 10, 2012 at 8:05 am

            I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but I want my own Igor. I’ll take an Igorina. They’re equally talented. There are so many of them to go around. I would like one who’ll lisp once in a while, just for old time’s sake.

            It’s always helpful to know where the packed bag is when the villagers with their torches come knocking and sometimes it does seem a little hot in here.

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

          • WhyMustThisBe
            February 22, 2012 at 3:34 am

            He’s human! He’s got the card to prove it!

            Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • EyeHeartSpiders
      February 9, 2012 at 2:17 pm

      I KNOW.

      Such a boon to female cosplayers.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  31. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 9, 2012 at 10:52 am

    WANT

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  32. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 9, 2012 at 10:53 am

    HELEN/APRIL, ARE YOU BRINGING THIS TO NY IN MAY?

    (YES I KNOW I AM SHOUTING!)

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  33. rushgirl2112
    February 9, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Seller has more listed! But for those who can’t afford the full beard:

    Crocheted Viking Coffee Mug Cozy – $10

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

    • Mugsy Doodle
      February 9, 2012 at 11:07 am

      *Looks at photo of Viking coffee mug cozy. Looks at blah Wall Street Journal mug sitting on the drafty windowsill. Looks at window and hears wind whistling through crack. Remembers how drafty window cools off the coffee much too quickly. Looks back at photo. Clicks over to site*

      Thumb up Thumb down +33

    • whimsiclefucker
      February 9, 2012 at 11:14 am

      She has a Cthulhu looking Dr Who monster & pirate pig cheaper too. I may make my first etsy purchase ever.

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • Kestris
        February 9, 2012 at 11:26 am

        That’s an Ood. They’re friends of the Doctor. Sort of. In a strange way.

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

        • OhHowMyBrainHurts
          February 9, 2012 at 12:15 pm

          I hope she relists the Ood one because I soooo need that!

          Thumb up Thumb down +11

          • Irishyankee
            February 9, 2012 at 5:03 pm

            You’re in the mood for Ood?

            Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Banana Rama
      February 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm

      Bought it. I’ll get a mustache ride with my coffee every day now!

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  34. LXV
    February 9, 2012 at 11:00 am

    FUS RO DAH!

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • BadMiya
      February 9, 2012 at 11:38 am

      I used to be a Fat Jealous Loser like you…then I took an arrow to the knee.

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

  35. whimsiclefucker
    February 9, 2012 at 11:05 am

    My wife will finally get me to wear a hat! I wonder if my giant noggin’ will result in an up-charge?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  36. WATchick
    February 9, 2012 at 11:09 am

    As soon as my hubby (who is of Scandinavian heritage and jokes about his Viking tendencies) agrees – and oh yes, he will agree – this is going to be his anniversary gift. Is the 3rd anniversary the “yarn Viking” anniversary?

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  37. nummymuffincocobutter
    February 9, 2012 at 11:18 am

    I seriously hugely love the viking hats.

    But.

    I just bought her Ood hat. It must be mine.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  38. Kestris
    February 9, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Those are freakin’ awesome and I am insanely jealous that you are getting one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  39. conejitoasesino
    February 9, 2012 at 11:23 am

    I want one of these SOOOOO bad! all my LOTR fantasies are coming true! Now if I could only find a dude willing to wear elf ears. Ooooohhhhhh!

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  40. andrea
    February 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

    I know I’m meant ot be laughing at this, but I can’t get over how freaking AWESOME it is!
    This would be aperfect Halloween costume for people who live in places where it’s sometimes snowing by Halloween.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  41. HalfNote5
    February 9, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Now see – THIS is what it’s all about. You find a need and fill it. And who DOESN’T need one of these? Nobody, that’s who.

    Also, the golden, braided beard is simply glorious.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • Aaron
      February 9, 2012 at 12:42 pm

      Have you seen the Riders helm?

      To die for!

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  42. OhHowMyBrainHurts
    February 9, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    This is freaking AWESOME! I’m only sorry I can’t get one for my hubby in time for Valentine’s Day!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  43. aginoz
    February 9, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    If the Vikings had been wearing these while invading England – we’d all be speaking Swedish Chef.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  44. Rev. Back It On Up 13
    February 9, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    After I bought the sparkling pig face mask, my husband gave me a look.

    I wonder if he’d dare give a look to Rev. Blundering Redbeard 13 the Terrible, scourge of the living room.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

    • catherder
      February 9, 2012 at 5:57 pm

      When you’re done with that, can you come scourge my living room? The cat hair’s getting out of control again.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  45. TallulahEulallie
    February 9, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    Just placed my order. Paid extra for the horns, because what use is a Viking dwarf helmet without horns? It won’t be ready in time for Valentines Day, but it will be sooooo worth the wait. Now The Almighty Caca (his official title) will have something to wear to contract negotiations!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • TallulahEulallie
      February 9, 2012 at 12:42 pm

      He’s on the team that is negotiating our new contract in a few weeks. He just texted me: “Contract negotiations, I’m going to wear my Viking helmet and carry my shank. Prepare to get free shit!” Wonder if I can write off the cost of the helmet as a business expense?

      Thumb up Thumb down +20

      • Cygnet
        February 9, 2012 at 5:28 pm

        God I hope you can get that helmet written off as a business expense!

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Postmenopaws ™
        February 10, 2012 at 1:01 am

        Well, of course. As overhead.

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

  46. jamisings
    February 9, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    I have to say, for all the loads of work and yarn that goes into that, $68 seems really cheap. I would’ve thought those worth over $100 just for labor alone.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • Aaron
      February 9, 2012 at 12:41 pm

      That’s the base price, you need to discuss your custom order.

      Still well worth it, I think.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • jamisings
        February 9, 2012 at 2:54 pm

        Even still, the base is a lot of labor too. And she’s good at it. So I still think she could get away with charging more.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • Aaron
          February 10, 2012 at 1:22 pm

          No argument from me.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

  47. Aaron
    February 9, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    By the beard of Odin, I NEED THIS!

    This is just… WOW.

    What makes it even more so for me today is the fact that today on the beach one of the bar runners came up to my mother, handed her his tray and pulled out a lighter on a retractable leash.
    “…as I am Thor, god of lightning and thunder, it is my duty to light your fire” proceeds to light her cigarette rather efficiently, despite the sea breeze, “and remember,” letting go of the lighter, “Thor’s Hammer always returns.” as the lighter snaps back to his chest.

    Then on with the “I’ll be here all week” one-liners. Try the Mahi-Mahi, it’s so nice, I had to name it twice…

    TLDR, I know, but I had to share.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  48. TallulahEulallie
    February 9, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    Dortha, the shop owner, is a sweetheart, and a total pleasure to deal with. She’s as awesome as her creations!

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  49. MAG
    February 9, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    OMG! I need this so bad…I can’t grow a decent beard or moustache of my own…I should have looked to Etsy!

    Now…do they also make crocheted armpit hair…cause that would really complete the ensemble!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  50. Twight Rose
    February 9, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    THIS IS SO FUCKING AMAZING I WANT ONE FOR ME, MY SPOUSE, MY SON, MY M-I-L AND EVERYONE ON MY BLOCK!!!

    Seriously. I am floored by how good these look.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  51. Diacritical Snark
    February 9, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  52. WitchladyBlue
    February 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    Oh good fucking christ, I want this so badly

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  53. TheEdwardianGirl
    February 9, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    That is so awesome! I want one now!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  54. EyeHeartSpiders
    February 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Never before have I seen a beard I wanted to hug this badly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  55. Drgibbs
    February 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Such an honor to be featured here today, thank you April! Thank you all so much for the great comments.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

    • Diacritical Snark
      February 9, 2012 at 3:49 pm

      The eyebrows on the first one absolutely murder me.
      Brilliant!

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • catherder
      February 9, 2012 at 6:00 pm

      Wonderful, wonderful stuff! You’re amazingly talented. Welcome to our little corner of the internet.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Postmenopaws ™
      February 10, 2012 at 1:11 am

      YOU RAWK!!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  56. HowdySnoody
    February 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    If only I lived somewhere that had an actual winter, this would be mine, and I would wear it everywhere, and I would be known as the Yarn Viking, and all would be as the prophesies foretold.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • aseriana
      February 9, 2012 at 4:27 pm

      I’m a woman living in an area of Texas that had no winter this year. I am still going to spend the next several weeks trying to rationalize to my husband why I need one of these. If that doesn’t work I may secretly sell stuff so that I can buy it under the husband’s “logical purchase” radar.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • andlikeit
      February 9, 2012 at 8:56 pm

      As previously stated, it is never too warm to dress as a viking.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  57. MrsHankie
    February 9, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -8

    • Postmenopaws ™
      February 10, 2012 at 1:15 am

      Maskaphobia and/or Pogomophobia?

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  58. RedSoloCup
    February 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    NEEEDDDD!!!

    I want this so bad that I will probably misspell this post.

    I want to wear it to the food coop and the post office and everywhere!!!

    I fear that I may swallow my tongue since I could easily have a seizure because that is so awesome. Serious…serious…I need this. You can get it in blond or ginger. Whoever thought of this is a genius or a savant….BRAVO to you awesome crafter, I love you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  59. WANNA POST ALL NIGHT
    February 9, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    By Merlin’s Beard! I’ve been seeing more and more of these since Skyrim!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  60. aseriana
    February 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    I know what everyone is getting for birthday gifts this year!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  61. Agent_of_Chaos
    February 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    When it’s really cold I sometimes wear a ski mask. The last time I did, I got met at the door by security. Yep, they thought I was going to rob them. (Luckily my “OMG MY EYEBALLS ARE FREEZING!” confused them long enough for me to get to work.) I wonder how they’d react to one of these…

    *rushes off to dig through her yarn stash*

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  62. Eruanna
    February 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    OH MI GOSH I NEED ONE OF THESE FOR MY HUBBY.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  63. lemon_bombs
    February 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    I think I know that first guy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  64. emalineisabear
    February 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    My boyfriend bikes to work. He NEEDS this!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  65. manybellsdown
    February 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    I want this for D&D night. And I will keep insisting I’m an Elf.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  66. GreySkye
    February 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    OMG GOTREX!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  67. asecondsolution
    February 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    Is there some rule that these can only be photographed in front of a door? Maybe it’s some kind of fashion faux pas to do otherwise?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  68. dabstract
    February 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    I need the crochet Pirate Piggy Hat for my next photography outing. The looks on people’s faces would be worth every friggin’ penny I would pay for that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  69. LJ
    February 9, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    OH.MY.GAWD. I am often speechless at the things I see on Regretsy, but normally it’s speechless from fear or disgust. This…this is just fucking beautiful.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  70. BlackWidowNor
    February 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    I sure as hell want one of these… I don’t have the money but I got the yard and I can crochet! Don’t think it would look this cool, but dammit… I’ll have it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  71. Golgathoth
    February 9, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Holy crap, the seller lives in a city like two hours from me!!! I should go visit. O_O

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Postmenopaws ™
      February 10, 2012 at 1:19 am

      Your avatar, that comment, and the 0_0 made a mouthful of coffee go down the wrong pipe. If I drown, it’s your fault!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  72. harlequin_eyes
    February 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    OMG I need to get one of these for my boyfriend!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  73. for.fucksticks
    February 9, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    THERE IS TOO MUCH WIN!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • RedSoloCup
      February 9, 2012 at 5:30 pm

      Much much too much win, so much win it hurts.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  74. Dawn
    February 9, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    As a proud Norwegian, I approve of this and sorely wish I could afford one (or several).

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  75. Cygnet
    February 9, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    I want a Centurion Helmet hat now! Only I don’t have the guts for the beard. Sad but true.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  76. Cindy-Lou Hoohoo
    February 9, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    I need to work on my crochet skills. I WILL make one of these.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  77. RandomAvatarFan
    February 9, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    … I want one of these…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  78. Leighbra
    February 9, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    I was just teaching the kids about Sweyn Forkbeard. The lesson would’ve stuck better if I was wearing his face at the time…

    Will have to order several for our future studies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  79. Thumperchick
    February 9, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    I fucking NEED this in my home. On me, my dogs, and my husband. Then I need a few more to stick on unsuspecting guests.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  80. SpencerDiamond
    February 9, 2012 at 7:03 pm
    • Postmenopaws ™
      February 10, 2012 at 1:22 am

      Adolescent Bearded Viking embarrasses Superb Owl.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • suebe
      February 10, 2012 at 6:10 am

      That’s it. I am now inspired to crochet my own Viking hat and beard. I’ve made beards before, but none as spectacular as a Viking.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  81. Brad the Butcher
    February 9, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    Damnit, I just HAD to move from Northern California to Hawaii… in the wintertime, too!

    By the power of Norway this is fucking awesome.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Tygerlil
      February 9, 2012 at 11:29 pm

      Brad, are you following me?

      I did the same move last August. Upside: we can run around the island together as sweaty but mighty Vikings!

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  82. suebe
    February 9, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    *creates patterns*

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  83. BadMiya
    February 9, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    So…my brother and I had the AMAZING idea of getting one for us and our spouses and getting a family portrait done for our mom.
    Nothing says love like your grown children rocking these amazing things in a professional portrait!

    I so have to learn to crochet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  84. Vixen
    February 9, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    I am in the process of making several of these hats. Found a pattern on Ravelry (a site for knitters and crocheters) a few months back. Making them for my LARP and D&D friends :) Simply LOVE them!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Vixen
      February 9, 2012 at 8:46 pm

      Found the website. http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/dwarven-battle-bonnet But I’m thinking the Etsy one looks cooler. Hmm I might have to change up the pattern a bit :)

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • 53raptor
      February 9, 2012 at 11:40 pm

      I’m trying to draw up a fleece pattern, since I sew silly hats and can’t knit/crochet to save my life.

      (I also convo’d her to see if she was still accepting orders, though, because I’m really too in awe to make my own without at least seeing if I can buy the original.)

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  85. Anonymoose
    February 9, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    Step 1: Buy one of these
    Step 2: Register for Warrior Dash
    Step 3: ???
    Step 4: Die because your brain melted from running in one of these.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  86. Jenna
    February 9, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    I must fucking own one of these! My Wow guild will be so jealous.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Postmenopaws ™
      February 10, 2012 at 1:32 am

      I’m thinking a Vrykul version…without a helmet.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  87. AreYouAnArtist
    February 9, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    I will be making the Magni Bronzebeard version…

    And it would also double nicely as hat, ear muffs, scarf, AND coat! Love that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Postmenopaws ™
      February 10, 2012 at 1:33 am

      Marry me?

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  88. gunstreet_girl
    February 9, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    this will be great for playoff season. the one I made out of green feathers two years ago doesn’t match my current hair colour.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  89. Postmenopaws ™
    February 10, 2012 at 12:56 am

    Mine hoosbund, wearing the results of my artistic abilty about 10 Halloweens ago (because I never pass up the chance to humiliate the man I love):

    All the hair is white, or near-white, now, and the “Viking hat” has long since rotted away, so we need one of these wonderful crocheted Viking hat-beards in deep auburn so we can relive our youth. Embarrassing grown children is just a bonus ability!

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • Mugsy Doodle
      February 10, 2012 at 8:11 am

      Great work (and you had a good model to work with). LOVE the fur cape. It’s an animal hide throw rug, isn’t it? I have one in sheep.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Postmenopaws ™
        February 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

        Thank you. :) He is cute, isn’t he? Luckily our kids take after him.

        The cape was just a big hunk of fake fur fabric that was bought to go on our bed, but wasn’t quite big enough. So I cut it to shape, made Sculpey claws, and — yes!!! — HOT-GLUED them on.

        The helmet is a straw hat with the brim cut off, fur from the cape-shaping, and horns made of styrofoam and paper mache. I was soooo proud of those horns. Then some poop told me that real Vikings didn’t have horns on their helmets. If that’s true, then where did they keep their mead?

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

  90. timelady
    February 10, 2012 at 1:18 am

    OMG she does an Ood from Doctor Who!!!!!! Damn. Which do I need, citizenship application fee, or oood hat???

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  91. maewestern
    February 10, 2012 at 1:44 am

    my husband and i produce an [uh.. the only] unnamed reality show about dudes with giant beards – and deal with fellows who look like this for real EVERY DAY. we’re also fat jealous losers, and over the goddamn moon that the regretsy community can see the difference between this and a mustache on a stick.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  92. barelyconscious
    February 10, 2012 at 2:34 am

    Holy Fuckballs, I need one of these to wear to The Hobbit.

    *weeps into vodka with joyful anticipation*

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • RowdyGirlsRanch
      February 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm

      In my mind I just roared “YES!” like Gimli does when Aragorn suggests they hunt some orcs.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  93. JustCoz
    February 10, 2012 at 4:42 am

    “I was featured on Regretsy in a good way! Turn around time is now around 4 – 6 weeks. Thank you for your patience.”

    Just in time for me to start saving up to buy one for the brief Brisbane winter…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  94. amurana
    February 10, 2012 at 5:28 am

    I will be buying one for my norse-obsessed husband!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  95. wrennie
    February 10, 2012 at 6:15 am

    I cannot express the level of awesome these are!!! Hubs may be getting one for his birthday.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • harlequin_eyes
      February 10, 2012 at 11:48 am

      I’ve decided that my boyfriend is getting this for Christmas. Shopping done!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  96. Marge_of_Lake_Labarge
    February 10, 2012 at 7:52 am

    Legendary Craft’s new banner reads, “I was featured on Regretsy in a good way! Turnaround time is now 4-6 weeks. Thank you for your patience.”. Thanks Regretsy, for starting my Friday with a win (and not just a box of wine as usual). I would have posted a screen cap, but I am too technologically deficient in the brain pan to make that happen).

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Marge_of_Lake_Labarge
      February 10, 2012 at 7:53 am

      And apparently can’t type either. Please delete any randomly appearing parentheses.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  97. Mistletoe
    February 10, 2012 at 10:16 am

    These make me feel a NEED… a need for MEAD!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  98. blackqueen
    February 10, 2012 at 11:26 am

    I thought I should show one I randomly made a while ago for a friend.

    Yeah I did a crazy face.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  99. FaeLaRoux
    February 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    Oh god, I want one in every. single. color.
    EVERYONE OF THEM.

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  100. catherinehavok
    February 10, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    OH MY GOD I WISH I HAD THIS
    MY HEART ACHES FOR IT
    I WISH I HAD $65.00 TO SPEND ON THIS MAGNIFICENCE

    </3

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  101. thepinkpotter
    February 10, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    This. Is. Marvelous. OMFG.

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  102. ylandra
    February 10, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Fat jealous loser here piping in to let y’all know that this one’s mine!

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/92367877/reserved-listing-for-harpentree

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  103. InsaneSol
    February 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    I would Fuckin buy this all day!! Make a Leonidas one and I’ll take it!! haha

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  104. Dhaunea
    February 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    I must have one. I absolutely MUST. Now I just need to knock over a liquor store so I can afford it.

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  105. RiotZombie
    February 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    THAT IS SO FUCKING EPIC!!!!! I WANTTTTTTTT!!!!! Sorry, I have a bizarre obsession with Vikings…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  106. Ravyncrow
    February 18, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    Holy coyotes! It’s up to 14-16 weeks turnaround time now. I hate all of you who got your orders in when they were still $75-80).

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  107. openthepodbaydoors
    February 20, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    I HAVE GOT TO HAVE THEM ALL.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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