Bat and Balls (NSFW)
This post first appeared on Regretsy on March 1, 2011
If I walked in on my future wife and she was hitting this thing with a stick, I would try to get my deposit back on the hall.
66 comments on Bat and Balls (NSFW)
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
February 5, 2012 at 9:31 am
My mind can only wonder about what the African American penis pinata would look like.
February 5, 2012 at 9:33 am
More candy!
February 5, 2012 at 9:51 am
More chocolate, specifically…
February 5, 2012 at 10:15 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Yikes on the joke.. but it’s okay because you have a black friend right? That makes that awful joke magically better.
February 6, 2012 at 2:44 am
Wow, you are a loser. You act as if a person of color would want you in the first place. They do have standards as well, and you are clearly below them my dear. And you can catch aids just as easily from a white penis too.
February 6, 2012 at 5:50 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 6, 2012 at 1:36 pm
damnit – I made a (much better looking) 4′ long, complete with folds and wrinkles and a sparsely-pubed scrotum for a party a bunch of years ago. Did it with a friend of mine. There was horror and laughter – which sorted out the cool folks rather quickly.
That’s really a goddamned shame.
February 5, 2012 at 9:33 am
Is it wrong that I want to buy this and put it in the passenger seat of my car, just so I can see the double takes I’d get when stuck in traffic??
February 5, 2012 at 9:51 am
Make sure you pay cash at the toll booths. Great use of this um.. thing.
February 5, 2012 at 10:02 am
Try using this to drive in the Carpool lane.
February 5, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Okay, so my passenger is a dick, but he’s sweet once you really get to know him.
February 6, 2012 at 5:32 pm
On the inside.
February 5, 2012 at 10:22 am
Once I paraded around at a science fiction convention with a 6 foot inflatable penis…and my friend followed close behind with an inflatable sheep…
February 5, 2012 at 10:45 am
That sounds like a hilarious hall costume, Kitty. Going to Chicon7?
February 5, 2012 at 9:34 am
This would be way cooler if the candy only came out of a little hole at the top.
February 5, 2012 at 9:35 am
And were cream-filled.
February 5, 2012 at 9:35 am
Why are the balls so red?
February 5, 2012 at 9:48 am
I was thinking it would be hilarious to make them blue.
February 5, 2012 at 9:57 am
It’s all about the texture.
February 5, 2012 at 10:02 am
the pubic hair is a bit disappointing…
February 5, 2012 at 11:03 am
Not enough?
February 5, 2012 at 11:18 am
not curly enough
February 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm
Yeah, them balls were shaved. And it looks like there might be a cock right to bring them up tight against the shaft.
So, the object would be to bust them balls, right?
February 5, 2012 at 9:35 am
I’ve tried five or six ways to use the phrase “beating off,” but finally just said “fuck it.” Y’all are on your own.
February 5, 2012 at 11:18 am
Beating-off is for real ones. This one is for beating on.
February 5, 2012 at 9:35 am
I’ve had many days when I wanted to beat the hell out of a penis. Now I can take out my anger issues without going to jail!
February 5, 2012 at 9:36 am
I love the ‘vein’ shadowing under the pink. that’s total commitment to a vision.
February 5, 2012 at 9:57 am
That’s probably just newspaper showing through because they didn’t give it enough coats of paint
February 5, 2012 at 9:58 am
Whilst I admire your artistic optimism I’m pretty sure that it’s newsprint showing through the paint.
February 5, 2012 at 9:37 am
I have the weirdest boner right now.
February 5, 2012 at 9:40 am
Is it covered in tissue paper and filled with candy? In that case, I have big stick I’ve been meaning to put to good use…
February 5, 2012 at 9:41 am
And now you can own the second weirdest!
February 5, 2012 at 9:49 am
I think I know what you mean:
February 5, 2012 at 9:38 am
Talk about a “big swinging dick”.
February 5, 2012 at 9:41 am
I do quite often.
February 5, 2012 at 9:58 am
*Falls over giggling*
February 5, 2012 at 10:03 am
I’d hit that.
February 5, 2012 at 10:04 am
Wonder how it tastes… I think I could have made the balls much more realistic, they’re already way more than a mouthful. (
February 5, 2012 at 10:08 am
A conspiracy, totally. This must be a Jewish circumcised version or something. Those damn Jews…always occupying every art…First Hollywood, now Penis Piñatas! Where is the uncircumcised version damn it??!! I’d wait for an answer, but my Placenta Casserole is burning in the oven and I have to breastfeed my 8 year old!
Disclaimer: Please understand, this is a joke. Elements of this joke may not suit your interpretation of what a joke is. You might very well pick apart elements of this joke rant and feel really strongly against them, or feel they do not belong in the realm of a joke. That’s okay, just don’t be a meanie and pick on me personally, k?
February 5, 2012 at 10:11 am
If you built a foreskin sheath to put around that, you could fit more candy in, especially under that over sized corona.
February 6, 2012 at 7:24 am
It’s true; I keep my wallet and keys in my foreskin at the gym.
True Story.
February 5, 2012 at 11:34 am
Oh blackgermanshepherd, somehow you missed mentioning swastikas and guessing about the mental maturity of the seller. You were this close to pitching a perfect flame!
February 5, 2012 at 10:08 am
I’m a bit disappointed they didn’t call it a “peñata.”
February 5, 2012 at 10:08 am
I’m sure I’m not alone in pondering the proportions… shrink that down to human-sized and you’re almost dealing with a micro-penis with grape sized balls. Hmmm… maybe bigger than grape sized.
February 5, 2012 at 10:15 am
I dunno. They look kind of XS to me (as in extra sore).
February 5, 2012 at 10:13 am
That’s some wicked looking pubic hair.
February 5, 2012 at 10:14 am
Not to get too technical or anything (but here we go) – I like a nice mushroom head as much as anybody, but that thing just looks sharp…
[shudder]
February 5, 2012 at 10:24 am
This one is pretty good. I saw one at the local adult shop that was looking more like a case of clap, so I guess the adage is to “Choose wisely”.
February 5, 2012 at 10:33 am
ball fringe
February 5, 2012 at 10:56 am
I love that it’s advertised with “lots of girth!” like we’re shopping for two foot long sex toys that just happen to be filled with candy.
…I would totally buy a sex toy filled with delicious candy. Etsy here I come!
February 5, 2012 at 11:03 am
I guess you fill it with yogurt???
February 5, 2012 at 11:11 am
This is great! I’m in charge of kids activities for our local Take Back the Night rally! Thanks for making my job easier, Regresty!
February 5, 2012 at 12:20 pm
Must have. If only to take it to my college campus strapped to my back like a pack.
February 5, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Needs more veins.
February 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm
I think I need to talk to the artiste and get a set of these rods to replace the rodents in the whack-a-mole arcade game. Wallah!
February 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm
So, you whack it a few times until it shoots gobstoppers all over the place then it rolls over and takes a nap.
There’s no way this thing can’t be anticlimactic.
[sigh]
February 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm
This is awesome. I think the pubic hair just brings it all together. I do agree though, it should have a foreskin.
February 5, 2012 at 4:45 pm
what the fsck is a bacherolette… the world need ugly looking invented words even less than it needs ugly looking 2 foot tall cocks!
February 5, 2012 at 5:25 pm
That’s been a word for over 100 years:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bachelorette
(although for some reason spellcheck on this site disagrees.) The seller is referring to a bachelorette party,the female version of a bachelor party.
February 5, 2012 at 7:34 pm
Another term for a bachelorette party is a “hen party.” Is comparing women to creatures that cackle and lay eggs any less ugly?
February 5, 2012 at 6:24 pm
why are the balls so red?
February 5, 2012 at 6:37 pm
I think I’ve been on Regretsy too long. Because I look at this and see the centerpiece for a young male equivalent of a Red Tent Party. To celebrate his first wet-dream.
February 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm
I cannot look at this without thinking the balls are either horribly sunburned, or covered with iodine and about to be, um, removed.
Add small children and a large stick? Check please!
February 6, 2012 at 7:54 am
I… really want to hug it.
February 8, 2012 at 8:13 pm
So I’m new to this site and LOVE it! So I had to comment when I saw this post. We through my friend a bachelorette party and went all out. One of the brides maid made a penis pinata. We all thought it would be hilarious and it was at first. We had no stick and no place to hang it in the hotel room so after many funny pictures the bride started to smash it with her foot. She smashed the crap out of it as if she was smashing all men. It was not funny and it was hard to watch. They separated after 8 months.
