Legend – Lord of Darkness by Tony Jung
I see Satan “forgot” his pants again.
But he remembered his posh shoulder pads. Got a great deal on them on etsy too.
Billy Mays approves of that table setting. Not sure what I’d use a table runner for in the bedroom, but that’s why I have Satan.
obviously for kinky, satanic table runner fetishes…
I’m kinda sad the picture didn’t feature Billy Mays snorting coke off Nancy Grace’s boobs.
Tyler Perry, sure. But Liz? Not LIZ!!!
She was big on charity for AIDS research. Trying to save teh gayz (regardless of the straight people and children also afflicted) is just as bad as being one, according to the people most likely to threaten other people with Hell.
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Enjoy hell, devils.
I dunno; I could ‘sin all over’ a runner like that.
Would you be taping it down first? ‘Cause otherwise I see you flying rapidly off one side or the other of the table.
I mean, unless that’s what you were going for. I don’t judge.
Definitely just made this my wallpaper.
Nancy Grace is one of the few people who would make Hell absolutly hellish to be in at the same time she is. They’d all want to escape. Nothing would be as bad.
Even Satan would go nuts. “Why the fuck didn’t I build a subbasement? ‘Only an extra million souls and I’ll build you a nice sturdy subbasement’ the contractor said, but did I listen? Nooooooo!”
Two best laughs I’ve had all day:
1) Your comment, Mugsy
2) The Tim Curry/Lord Darkness image in the “view”
Poetic justice him getting screwed by his own invention, a market based solution, that is, hiring a contractor as opposed to bothering to use of the dark side of the force directly.
I actually googled to see if Nancy Grace is dead…
I mean, I knew she was soul-less and all, but I needed to clarify whether that walking corpse was still walkin…
We couldn’t be that lucky.
I was so ready to pop in here and say that Hell is far too good for a raging cunt like Nancy Grace, but then I saw that other people with souls had kinda done it for me already.
With a table runner like that, who needs to sin?
I wonder who inspired you to make that. Hmmms. I wonder. Could it be….SATAN?
Ah the elegance of Satan!
Nancy Grace died?? How did I miss that?
She didn’t! Believe me, we’d all know if she did.
Dammit. There went hope and happiness right out the window. Guess I’ll be sticking to rum.
The Nancy Grace Drinking Game.
-Every time she mentions her law experience and conviction rate, take a drink.
-Every time she mentions her kids, take two drinks (one for each kid).
-Every time she mentions loving being a mother, take a drink.
-Every time she mentions Casey Anthony, fuck it and drink the entire bottle.
What do we do every time she gnaws off the testicles of George Stephanopolus and that lawyer on GMA despite the fact they actually agree with her?
Does this involve alcohol poisoning?
Take a drink every time she says Jean Casarez’s name so it sounds like a new species of dinosaur (the ever elusive Jinkasaurus Rex!)
Everytime she mentions her dead first love, stab someone
Everytime she says “Tot Mom” gouge out a nearby person’s eye
Everytime she tells some idiot who just complimented her hell spawn children their question is a good one, open a vein in your arm with a broken vodka bottle.
I know! Those few moments when I thought, “Wait, Nancy Grace died?!?!?!” were some of the sweetest I’ve known in a long while.
*opens a new bottle of rum and passes it to Steampunk Octopus*
Woo Hoo! I’m not even going to wait for Nancy Grace to talk! *pours glass for Mugsy then takes huge swig from bottle*
This might help: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWPY7b35vF4
Ah, that made me happy. *hic*
Someone pass the rum, please?
Like the traitors of Ptolomea in Inferno, she’s so rotten her soul fell before she died.
No – she was just born dead inside.
I figure she’s just visiting daddy:-p
The funny thing is the first thing I did was go to wikipedia, and figured that if wikipedia hasn’t added a death date, she must be alive.
I tried http://www.whosaliveandwhosdead.com/search.asp They don’t even list her as being alive. That would explain a lot.
Guess who just found his newest desktop picture?! Buh-bye, Tosh and John Cena doin’ it drawing!
In all fairness, that does look beautiful on the Satan’s dinner table.
The Satan, haha. Woops.
Well, he is the one and only.
Great, now I’ve got that stupid Chesney Hawkes song stuck in my head. Thank you.
Shit! Another one I don’t recognize! I am so out of touch!
(I’ll look it up. No worries.) *hic*
Steampunk, don’t let it get to you! Think of all the old-timey references we can throw out that the young ‘uns don’t get!
Now, please pass the rum *hic* ’cause my speech is starting to clear up.
‘Cept this is early 90′s.
He might be from the UK now that I think about it. Maybe you never got that particular horror in the US?
To many people I work with, anything before 1990 is old-timey. I don’t remember what I was listening to in the early ’90s. I might have gone “back” to the oldies from the 1950s & ’60s.
Apropos of nothing, do you realize that there are cast members of Saturday Night Live who weren’t even born when the show started? Or worse, their parents were teenagers when it started.
It’s strangely appropriate, don’t you think?
It’s even elegant enough for Elizabeth Taylor? Boy howdy consider me sold.
If I had only one word to describe Satan it would certainly be “elegant”. He holds the most fabulous dinner parties.
They are to die for!
The salted pork is particularly good.
Is Nancy Grace dead? Or is she just hosting the party?
Or maybe the devil is interviewing her?
Guess she’s just visiting home.
She drops by every now and then to visit dear old dad and stock up on plenty of shameless pandering and scorn.
Where is Osama Bin Laden?
Watching TV in the other room.
With Steve Irwin.
Even Satan has standards.
This should explain it:
Somewhere in Middle-East | They got me … | 72 virgins await you in Heaven
*warm and fuzzy*, re awesomeness: right back at you
In fervor to share I omitted the credit though: this is Pertti Jarla’s “Fingerpori” comic strip published in Helsingin Sanomat 09SEP2010.
(I seem to have been on mission to pimp Finnish artists lately (re mission: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKZSqd5Y8nA))
There was only enough room for one Muslin at the table.
Tim Curry from Legend + Tyler Perry as Medea = Funny as Hell
After visiting Tony Jung’s original, I must add: Someone needs to make that jacket/shrug/cape he has on! That thing is totes worth going to hell for!
i think an inner tube, an iron, a glue gun and some shit to glue on the shoulders …i could do it in my artistic ability
I bet they don’t even leave a decent tip.
If there is a Hell, I like to think it’s very tailored, so for a waiter’s personal hell, they’d not only get stiffed for a tip every single time, but every receipt would have the phone number of a cheapskate who fully expects that the waiter[ess] would still want to have sex with a rude, no-tip-leaving asshole.
Way Back When, some kids painted what they clearly thought were all sorts of demonic symbols on the high school I attended, as well as the phrase ‘SATIN RULES’.
I beg to differ: do you know how easily that shit wrinkles if you even think about sitting while wearing a godawful bridesmaid dress made out of it? Also, man, does that ever tell you everything you need to know about that high school.
I remember when one of the pot heads in our class room started drawing on the board in English class. He drew a pentacle instead of a pentagram and wrote “SATIN RULES” above it. Everyone, including the teacher, made fun of him until he turned bright red and sat down in shame. Even his fellow pot heads made fun of him.
If I ever find the picture I took of the Satinic graffiti before it was scrubbed, I plan to scan that bad boy and make a Demotivational-style macro with ‘SATIN RULES’ as the first line and ‘but lace suggests’ as the second. That’s getting pride of place in my office.
Speaking of: I think the world could only be a better place if Tim Gunn had a sampler with SATIN RULES combined with a pentacle that looks like a super!star hanging in his office.
I always picture Satan as the one from South Park. This lovely runner totally fits with that fabulous man! And his boyfriend Chris.
When Sadam isn’t making Satan into his bitch taking him back again.
I imagine Satan as an incredibly handsome man. So sexy he could make Fred Phelps lust after him. And a sharp dresser, like Cat from Red Dwarf. No horns or red skin or tail. Just someone who blinds you with his perfect physical beauty, sharp dressing skills, and undeniable charm. After all, he’s suppose to be all about temptation.
So, Tim Curry then.
Or Alan Rickman. MMmm – He is a handsome devil.
Billy Mays is not in Hell; you take it back! All he ever wanted was for your life to be more convenient! (And a little cocaine, but mostly convenience.)
BILLY MAYS HERE . . . IN HELL!!
DO YOU HAVE TROUBLE GETTING OUT THOSE BRIMSTONE STAINS? SO DID I, UNTIL I FOUND BRIMSTONE BE GONE! IT’S THE BEST I’VE EVER FOUND. SWEAR TO G—
Testimonial: BSBG is so fast and convenient, soaking in holy water took ages and stealing enough of it from the church for anything more substantial than a hankie was such a pain.
BSBG also cleaned the stains off of Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress!
My first year in college, a friend of mine had a big roll of stickers that said “satin”– presumably meant to go on packages of tacky-ass bedsheets or something. He put them all over the dorms, leading to lots of hushed speculation by quasi-literates about “satanism” on campus, just as he predicted and intended.
I was young and naive at the time and was honestly surprised that people could be that stupid…
You wouldn’t happen to know where this marvelous gentleman found these stickers would you? There are uni dorms yet left un-sticker’d. *insert wicked grin*
Pfft. I’m holding out for satan sheets and satan underwear.
Satan underwear?.. Ah, the new line of Underoos for the budding series mass killer.
Satan don’t wear boxers.
Satan wears Y-fronts. I always suspected….
Who is the guy to Nancy’s right?
I think it’s Christopher Hitchens.
Derp, posted too late.
Even if it isn’t Christopher Hitchens, we can say that he’s screwed for eternity.
Oh, that’s Hitchens: he ain’t.
“I purchased this for my Thanksgiving dinner. It went over so well! Everyone loved it! Grandpa started saying grace and began swearing in Latin and the turkey got up and did the lambada. Now my daughter calls herself Satanico Pandemonium and devotes her time to making sausages out of the neighbors. The only problem I have is tentacles reaching out of the washer every so often, but it’s all worth it. Now I have to run because little Bobby is drawing pentacles on the front fence again…”
It all ends well. The football team come back as ghosts to join your daughter in a mid-air rendition of Harry Belafonte’s “Jump in the Line (Shake, Senora).”
I clicked on her shop and and found Satan’s dog peering out the window to the left of the door!
These are in the blouse pics. She sure has found a niche using doors as background. Front stoops are the new barn wood.
Poor puppy, I will call him Max
Left looking out anyway!
Goddamnit! I saw that as “peeing”.
Hitchens is there? Oddly enough, he doesn’t seem to mind. I wonder if Satan uses a seating chart.
What do you think they’ll do for fun after the meal? I’m thinking . . .charades. Or karaoke.
Nancy Grace drinking game?
Oh Satan has lots of fun party games.
Pin the giant buttplug in the Hitler.
Play Rebecca Black’s Friday for Ted Bundy on a constant loop and wait for him to crack. (They watch with the sound off until the right moment.)
And they end the night by throwing lawn darts at John Wayne Gacy.
It’s sheer chifon!
I really hope Leona Helmsley has to bus the table.
I was looking at this thing, wondering what was so Satanic about it??? I even enlarged the pic to see if there were tiny embroidered devils on it or some shit.
Chardonnay and ceaser salad huh? Well I’m not going to argue with the fellow with the giant horns.
I still love the crap out of it.
well, he is The Elegant Satan. I’m sure that’s just a first course.
As opposed to the Casual Weekend Satan, that only comes out on Saturday nights:
Elegant and Sexy Satan, with Tim Curry’s voice he could make nun’s cum.
On the TV someone just said “There’s a toast goin’ on at Satan’s house.” That guy and table runner sure do get around….
Clearly, Nancy Grace is there for a “Where are they now?” special. Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy…
Ah, Satan. The fabric of choice for fallen angles everywhere.
kind of off topic but still worth a giggle.
Tim Curry is like, my fantasy boyfriend. Or I wish he was. All I can afford to fantasize about right now is Cheech Marin. =p
God dammit, I had to Google Nancy Grace too. I feel expertly trolled and dirty inside knowing that shrill egomaniacal biddy is still alive after getting my hopes up.
Alright, I don’t really want her to die or anything, just…like… can’t she take it down a notch or twenty? She’s like the female equivalent of The Phantom Toolbooth’s “Officer Short Shrift”. D:
True story – I just visited her etsy shop and was the 666th viewer.
Who is in the mugshot?
Poor Hitchens- guess he was wrong all these years- must have been a shock!!
I miss Hitch SO MUCH.
I know it would piss him off, but I really hope he’s in heaven….
He would qualify to be in the outer circle of Mormon heaven. They let almost everyone in, but there are different levels – kind of like going to an NFL game. Are you worthy of tailgating in the parking lot, inside but standing room only, cheap seats, good seats, skyboxes, or clubhouse meet-the-QB passes?
I took a comparative religion class in college, taught by a self-described fallen Mormon. It was very interesting. Watching the reactions of super-religious students being exposed to different belief systems was also interesting and made me wonder why they signed up for the class.
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