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ETSY KILLS

BONUS: One of Courtney Love’s Alchemy Requests on Etsy

MAYBE IT WAS THE LAACE STRETC BODYSUIT TAHT KILLEFD TEH CAT

229 comments on ETSY KILLS

  1. EricaVee
    February 3, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Dear god.

    Are there any other D-list celebs on Etsy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +131

    • PaganChick
      February 3, 2012 at 9:49 am

      Yes.

      Probably masquerading as Chinese resellers.

      Thumb up Thumb down +63

    • Beriadan
      February 3, 2012 at 9:53 am

      Rosie, but is she still counted as a celebrity? I kinda want there to be politicians on etsy they’d fit in nicely between the shit stained art and the penises.

      Thumb up Thumb down +33

      • EyeHeartSpiders
        February 3, 2012 at 11:28 am

        Pssh, no way. Politicians are neither as scary nor as entertaining as the best of Etsy. They try with the sex scandals and so on, but it’s just not the same.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • HelplessGiggle
      February 3, 2012 at 2:32 pm

      One of the Project Runway winners, Leanne Marshall, sells clothes on Etsy. But I’m guessing that doesn’t really count, since she’s actually known for creating things rather than for being semi-famous.

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • DarkSock
      February 4, 2012 at 12:10 am

      I had no idea my ex was actually Courtney Love.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  2. shizukaurusai
    February 3, 2012 at 9:10 am

    I can relate to the feeling of being buried under Etsy fabric…

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  3. Rev. Back It On Up 13
    February 3, 2012 at 9:10 am

    I heard Kurt Cobain was killed when he fell into a giant handcrafted papier mache vagina.

    Thumb up Thumb down +208

    • Aina Tuhnunhaisu
      February 3, 2012 at 10:24 am

      (Mimosa Pale “Mobile Female Monument ” 2007)

      Thumb up Thumb down +86

      • Rev. Back It On Up 13
        February 3, 2012 at 10:30 am

        I don’t even know why I’m surprised to see this exists.

        Kurt’s headstone:

        “R.I.P. Kurt Cobain
        If it smells like fish, eat as much as you wish
        If it smells like cologne, leave it alone
        If it’s seven feet tall, try not to fall”

        Thumb up Thumb down +63

      • Eurylleia
        February 3, 2012 at 10:40 am

        I didn’t know I was still capable of shock… Wait, is that on a bicycle? Does she climb inside the vag to ride the “monument” to it’s next location? I would travel to see that happen.

        Thumb up Thumb down +31

        • mfj
          February 3, 2012 at 11:06 am

          I’d imagine it’s “accessible mobile performance art” designed to “engage the community” in discussions about “rebirth, both physical and spiritual”, perhaps even with an element of fluxus (cool stuff!), whereby any person on the street can participate and then share their own stories about re-experiencing their own origins. And from our origins we can view our own contributions to society. An accessible demonstration, at once both personal and public, erotic and mundane (we were all born), permanent and transient.

          Or it’s something for the local production of the Vagina Monologues.

          Thumb up Thumb down +44

          • Upchuck Norris
            February 3, 2012 at 2:05 pm

            I read “at once personal and pubic” which is actually rather appropriate.

            Thumb up Thumb down +21

          • EyeHeartSpiders
            February 3, 2012 at 11:29 am

            I thought nothing could stun Helsinki.

            Thumb up Thumb down +37

          • Aina Tuhnunhaisu
            February 3, 2012 at 11:47 am

            Cool. That link has an abridged translation from the link in Finnish below.

            Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • Aina Tuhnunhaisu
        February 3, 2012 at 11:34 am

        “An interactive performance sculpture on wheels. Was on show, may 2007, in Tennispalatsi Art Museum Helsinki, and was taken for a walk from there every second day. Passers by could enter the sculpture, there was enough space for an adult to lie down.” (http://www.mimosapale.com)

        She got a prize for the piece from the Finnish Society for Aesthetics. (http://www.estetiikka.fi/toiminta/vuoden-esteettinen-teko-2007, in Finnish alas)

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • Postmenopaws ™
          February 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

          I first read that as “Finnish Society for Anesthetics.”

          But then, I’m so tired right now (insomnia) I actually understood Courtney Love’s Alchemy Request.

          Thumb up Thumb down +22

        • Upchuck Norris
          February 3, 2012 at 2:06 pm

          Her vagina was taken for a walk? Did it need a leash?

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

          • Aina Tuhnunhaisu
            February 3, 2012 at 3:17 pm

            Seems that way:

            Thumb up Thumb down +18

        • Eurylleia
          February 4, 2012 at 11:49 am

          “Enough space for an adult to lie down” Or probably two adults to get in, get it on, and experience “re-birth” all in a very public place. I’m booking tickets.

          Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • Whuuuck?
        February 3, 2012 at 1:49 pm

        Well that is certainly more than a mouthful

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

        • OldPhatMC
          February 3, 2012 at 4:26 pm

          Don’t get all lippy!

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • trousers rolled
        February 3, 2012 at 4:11 pm

        Illustrating that old axiom that woman needs a laace stretc bodysuit like a vag needs a bicycle.

        Thumb up Thumb down +47

        • WhyMustThisBe
          February 4, 2012 at 12:49 am

          Giving new meaning to the phrase “Town bycycle”…

          Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • DarkSock
        February 4, 2012 at 12:12 am

        You know, even this big, I still have no idea where the clitoris is.

        Dammit.

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • Midnight Rambler
        February 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm

        It’s the hair around the edges that really makes it.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • scratter
      February 3, 2012 at 12:30 pm

      I think he would have loved to go out that way had it been an option: “Throw down your umbilical noose so i can climb right back” He did like the vag, ol’ Kurt.

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

  4. itsahumanzoo
    February 3, 2012 at 9:10 am

    At first I thought you had photoshopped a fake profile for her, but alas, it is not fake. Wow.

    Thumb up Thumb down +166

    • IPutTheGimpInGimp
      February 3, 2012 at 9:13 am

      It’s the greatest Etsy or Regretsy ever!

      Thumb up Thumb down +73

    • accidentalworkshop
      February 3, 2012 at 9:14 am

      I did too. I’m just. Wow.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • KiaraSera
      February 4, 2012 at 9:47 am

      I had the very same reaction… I was trying to figure out if it was real or not when I thought to click through. Lack of capitalization, poor & incorrect punctuation, barely coherent thoughts…

      I don’t understand how individuals like her reach adulthood & manage to procreate. Though presumably much booze & drugs were/are involved? For all we know, she may think the computer is marshmallow monster & that typing tickles the monster’s toes.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  5. gnomestress
    February 3, 2012 at 9:10 am

    She named the cat Kurt.

    Thumb up Thumb down +64

    • Mugsy Doodle
      February 3, 2012 at 9:50 am

      Perhaps its death was a suicide as well?

      Thumb up Thumb down +81

  6. mshell67
    February 3, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Good god, what a mess! Etsy kills!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  7. booberty
    February 3, 2012 at 9:12 am

    I’m more disturbed that she is smoking in the car with that poor dog :o (

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

    • booberty
      February 3, 2012 at 9:13 am

      ugh stupid emoticons! i meant to do a sad face :( with a nose

      Thumb up Thumb down +19

      • Ladyamericana
        February 3, 2012 at 9:49 am

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -15

        • EyeHeartSpiders
          February 3, 2012 at 11:31 am

          Really? You’re arguing that dogs don’t like things that stink?

          I mean, I think most tobacco smells gross (a few of the scented ones that hardly anyone uses are ok), but my experience of dogs is that nothing smells “bad” to them.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

          • Wednesday
            February 3, 2012 at 11:42 am

            Citrus. Most dogs hate the smell of citrus.

            That’s why aversive sprays are made of citronella. Works a treat…I carry it every time I take my little dogs to the park where we often encounter unleashed big dogs on the walking trails. Much better than pepper sprays which cause pain (and pain increases aggression so that’s a dumb thing to do anyway).

            Thumb up Thumb down +14

          • Ladyamericana
            February 3, 2012 at 12:19 pm

            Touche – come to think of it both my cat and my in-laws dogs have a fascination with the inside of my shoes – perhaps this dog follows her around and paws at the cigarette like my cat does when someone brings out the bong?

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • Ladyamericana
            February 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

            Whoa now – I’m not saying to hot-box pets. But my cat is a adult and tries to get to pot like it’s tuna. I’ve never personally let him but that doesn’t prevent him from trying.

            Thumb up Thumb down +15

        • angel drawers
          February 3, 2012 at 5:36 pm
        • asecondsolution
          February 3, 2012 at 7:42 pm

          I had a dog who died from lung cancer. Lived with my mother, who smoked, for 10 years. I don’t have any proof that the smoke caused it but I have read that brachycephalic breeds are more likely to get lung cancer from second-hand smoke and he bordered on brachycephalic (he had a muzzle, but it was pretty short.)

          p.s. He loved citrus, especially oranges.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • scratter
      February 3, 2012 at 12:28 pm

      Yeah but its a Beagle. They’re used to smoking…..sadly :(

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  8. Getoffmylawn
    February 3, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Who knew that when she sang “I am, Doll parts” she was getting them from a Chinese reseller on Etsy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +171

  9. dadolwch
    February 3, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Trying to imagine breakfast for Frances Bean on a typical morning in the Love-Cobain household… a bowl of Cocoa Puffs with cigarette butts and used needles on the counter, pules of vomit-stained lace and brocade lying in piles on the floor.

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  10. Vagrarian
    February 3, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Oh gawd. G-A-W-D, gawd.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Vagrarian
      February 3, 2012 at 12:18 pm

      Y’know, part of me is tempted to do a testimonial for Ms. Love, but I can’t imagine it being anywhere as funny or fucked-up as the stuff above. Just sayin’. Even I have my limits.

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

  11. roquelaure
    February 3, 2012 at 9:16 am

    I had a brief glimmer of hope when I thought maybe, juuusssst maybe, “Etsy” was some exotic brand of imported luxury fabric of which we plebes were unaware… “La Chamois Reine Etsy” or something… but alas.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  12. TallandGassy
    February 3, 2012 at 9:18 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -73

  13. TurboFool
    February 3, 2012 at 9:19 am

    How does a human being manage to misspell virtually EVERY SINGLE WORD she types?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +139

    • skarah1313
      February 3, 2012 at 9:20 am

      Drunk. She drunk types a lot from what others have said.

      Thumb up Thumb down +51

      • HalfNote5
        February 3, 2012 at 9:26 am

        She needs to come over here to take lessons on how to do it properly. By their own assertion, over half the commenters here are wasted while online, and still seem to manage reasonably legible, comprehensible type. *sips a Chartreuse*

        Thumb up Thumb down +119

      • Rev. Back It On Up 13
        February 3, 2012 at 9:48 am

        I do too, but when *I* am drunk I am witty and urbane and delightfully clever. Or so I believe.

        Thumb up Thumb down +96

      • msannomalley
        February 3, 2012 at 9:52 am

        Heard of speaking in tongues? I think she’s typing in tongues.

        Thumb up Thumb down +45

      • 3 toed sloth
        February 3, 2012 at 10:37 am

        no one ever knew what she was saying on her old forums

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • I_Choo_Choo_Choose…_Not _that
        February 3, 2012 at 12:02 pm

        Yup. Drunk. I’m sure I’ve typed several similar things to attractive acquaintances on Myspace (this was years ago. I know there are tumbleweeds rolling across that website.)
        If she spends any time coherent, she will say the words I have said many, many times. “Oh fucking hell. What have I done?!?!”
        Being a sloppy drunk is so much easier in person..and there is the benefit of acting like a whore. Oh, memories.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Vagrarian
      February 3, 2012 at 9:27 am

      I think she types with her elbows.

      Thumb up Thumb down +77

      • Mugsy Doodle
        February 3, 2012 at 9:30 am

        Well, how else can she smoke and drink at the same time? The woman multipurposes!

        Thumb up Thumb down +104

    • monkey33
      February 3, 2012 at 9:27 am

      Two possible explanations –
      1 – They’re not actually typos of misspellings but a complicated secret code imparting the knowledge of the ancient aliens from the planet Gozatraplon, telling mankind they built the pyramids and that our future can only be saved through cranial breathing, macrame, and devoting our lives to the worship of the one true interstellar deity Finzor the Magnificent.
      or
      2 – Xanax + Adderall + Sonata + Abilify + batshit

      Thumb up Thumb down +82

      • EyeHeartSpiders
        February 3, 2012 at 11:37 am

        So you’re not breathing cranially right now?

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • angel drawers
        February 3, 2012 at 5:39 pm

        The planet Gotastrapon?

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

        • suburbanwretch
          February 3, 2012 at 8:31 pm

          Oh man. I have not laughed so much in weeks. Thank you Angel Drawers and Monkey33. You rock my world.

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • wetHearingaid
      February 3, 2012 at 10:41 am

      I, have issues, with, her comma (mis)use,,

      Put that in your new album, Courtney Love.

      <– pet peeve

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • researchgrrrl
      February 3, 2012 at 2:13 pm

      You went wrong when you assumed she’s a human being. Let that misconception go and everything she posted will just start to flow.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  14. monkey33
    February 3, 2012 at 9:19 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -55

  15. valerie_z
    February 3, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Until I read the comments I really thought that was a joke Etsy profile. Oh dear god.

    Thumb up Thumb down +49

  16. tardis
    February 3, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Wow, is that for real?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Mugsy Doodle
      February 3, 2012 at 9:24 am

      I read the story (with a lovely mom-and-daughter photo, from the good times) in my local paper this morning and almost burst out laughing evilly on the subway. Then I looked at the people near me and bit my tongue.

      Remember folks…

      COMMUNISM KILLS PEOPLE BUT ETSY KILLS CATS!

      Thumb up Thumb down +92

      • HalfNote5
        February 3, 2012 at 9:30 am

        Then Etsy can come over to my house anytime. Little bastards have completely dug up my flower bed.

        Thumb up Thumb down +17

        • HalfNote5
          February 3, 2012 at 9:31 am

          (Disclaimer: I own three cats and do not actually advocate harming critters of any species. Please do not stage a commando raid on my house to pour red paint on my faux-fur “cyote” [sic] hat).

          Thumb up Thumb down +33

        • Mugsy Doodle
          February 3, 2012 at 9:33 am

          Have you tried moth balls around the perimeter? Cats hate that smell and won’t even go near them (so no ingesting). You could try pushing them down a bit into the dirt, or have a festive garden that is outlined in white balls!

          Thumb up Thumb down +23

          • HalfNote5
            February 3, 2012 at 9:35 am

            If it works, I’m sending you a nice Christmas present.

            Thumb up Thumb down +22

          • jamisings
            February 3, 2012 at 9:43 am

            They also hate spicy stuff. I save the packets of peppers from the pizza place and use them in my garden along with any cheep spices from places like Dollar Tree – cayenne, curry, etc. Plus the added benefit that they’ll help keep bad bugs away from the plants.

            Thumb up Thumb down +31

          • skarah1313
            February 3, 2012 at 10:01 am

            Yep, the pepper works. I’ve used it to keep out cats.

            Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • HalfNote5
            February 3, 2012 at 10:10 am

            I don’t mind the look of white balls (the peppers haven’t worked for me, but a lot of neighbors swear by them. Not using enough, maybe?)

            I want to find a way to repel them without harming them. And I refuse to call animal control because I don’t want them put down.

            That said, unless I get rid of them, I probably won’t be eating anything that grows in that bed. Guest don’t appreciate tomatoes that reek of cat urine. And I won’t be stopping to smell the roses either… ; )

            Thumb up Thumb down +12

          • halcat
            February 3, 2012 at 10:25 am

            Spicy works on some cats. One of mine once ate a little piece of onion covered in cayenne pepper that fell on the floor, then just looked at me like “What’s with the stare?”

            Thumb up Thumb down +20

          • amazon
            February 3, 2012 at 10:33 am

            You can also try orange and other citrus peels. Or orange oil. My cats HATE the smell of orange peel.

            Thumb up Thumb down +11

          • jamisings
            February 3, 2012 at 10:39 am

            Yeah, it might be that you’re not using enough. I use a LOT of peppers and other spices because the neighborhood cats like to use my vegetable garden for a toilet. Plus, like I said, they’re also good for keeping plant eating bugs out of the garden.

            There’s also plants that will keep cats and other critters out of your garden.

            http://landscaping.about.com/od/pestcontrol/a/cat_repellents.htm

            Thumb up Thumb down +9

          • Steampunk Octopus
            February 3, 2012 at 1:09 pm

            I have a cat who prefers spicy food. Sits right next to me at dinner and waits for handouts, which I give him because he’s awesome. And a basement cat. You just don’t deny a basement cat his spicy food.

            Thumb up Thumb down +22

          • catherder
            February 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

            Our elderly kitty, at the end, when she was really finicky, developed a taste for turkey cooked with taco seasoning.

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • I_Choo_Choo_Choose…_Not _that
          February 3, 2012 at 12:29 pm

          If you guys know of a trick for kittens to stop harassing wonderful, perfect, darling older cats with green eyes, let me know. I’m not sure my darling cat wants a necklace of mothballs.

          Thumb up Thumb down +11

          • Steampunk Octopus
            February 3, 2012 at 1:32 pm

            Distraction. It’s the only way. Shoestrings, lasers, toy mice, a box, anything really. Otherwise, your sweet older kitty will have to learn to stick up for him/herself. My two older cats have had to do that when we adopted our kitten.

            One thing we’ve done is put all her little toys in an empty tissue box. She loves attacking it to get the toys out.

            Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • Vagrarian
        February 3, 2012 at 10:44 am

        KITTEHS ARE DYING OF COURTNEY LOVE!!!!!!

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

  17. ThisLegOfMine
    February 3, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Either years of drug use have limited her ability to communicate through written word…or she’s on the smack again.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • angelbuttons77
      February 3, 2012 at 9:27 am

      Or both…

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

    • Annie
      February 3, 2012 at 7:14 pm

      You’re assuming that she was ever off of it to begin with.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  18. Aina Tuhnunhaisu
    February 3, 2012 at 9:22 am

    I … I’ll be under my bunk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +54

    • Mugsy Doodle
      February 3, 2012 at 9:29 am

      That poor beagle in her lap looks so sad and resigned. He knows that his life won’t be a long one. There was another dog, who became ill after consuming some of CL’s prescription pills. He knows he won’t make that same mistake. When he finds the pills, he’ll overdose and put himself out of the misery.

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

  19. T-Bone
    February 3, 2012 at 9:27 am

    I always heard that “curiousity” killed the cat. I never knew that was how you pronounced “etsy”. This language we call English sure can surprise you on occasion.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  20. Derpy Hooves
    February 3, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Someone linked me to her Twitter like two years ago. I had delusions of creating a “Courtney Love Translator” account, but when it took me about an hour to make part of her front page sound vaguely human, I gave up on that dream.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

    • HalfNote5
      February 3, 2012 at 9:35 am

      Yeah, that’d be like trying to single-handedly run street-cleaning duty behind a parade featuring Barnum and Bailey, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and the Cairo Camel and Llama Enthusiasts Club.

      Thumb up Thumb down +46

    • Whatsherface
      February 3, 2012 at 10:14 am

      You have to give her some credit though. Despite being wasted and probably high constantly, she sure does type a lot! Er, well… Mash buttons using her forehead, that is.

      In other news: You chose the perfect name and picture, as I often think of Derpy while on Regretsy. Marry me?

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

  21. alainabyrne
    February 3, 2012 at 9:29 am

    I’d like to know who bid on this because clearly they should just send me $600 since I know how to spell “years”, “few”, “feathers”…shit, just because I know how to spell, period.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • WateryTart
      February 3, 2012 at 10:01 am

      Dang; just about the only thing she can spell is her name!

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • WateryTart
        February 3, 2012 at 10:05 am

        My brain was hurting from all of the derp– so much that a correctly-spelled word practically leapt off the screen.

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • angel drawers
      February 3, 2012 at 5:43 pm

      But they bid on it so *they* could have the $600… they weren’t sending money to anyone.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  22. Beckles
    February 3, 2012 at 9:30 am

    She wrote that ‘crease and desist’ letter, didn’t she?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Annie
      February 3, 2012 at 7:17 pm

      I think that “crease and desist” letter would require a grasp of the written word that Courtney Love obviously does not posess.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  23. craftyjoani
    February 3, 2012 at 9:35 am

    I added her to my circle, I just had to.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

    • OhHowMyBrainHurts
      February 3, 2012 at 11:46 am

      Really? Cuz I’m thinking I want to keep my Etsy shop as far off her radar as I possibly can!

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • craftyjoani
        February 3, 2012 at 2:00 pm

        I think it would be awesome to the max to sell something to Courtney Love. When people ask “How is the Etsy store going CraftyJoani?” I will say “Pretty good, sold some shit to Courtney Love, no biggie”

        Thumb up Thumb down +20

        • T-Bone
          February 3, 2012 at 4:10 pm

          The best part is she really would ask to buy shit from you, when in reality she was looking for a nice set of sheets. Poor Courtney. Her dream of winning the National Spelling Bee was over before it began.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

        • angel drawers
          February 3, 2012 at 5:43 pm

          Is she saying that she will only pay you if she still wants the stuff though? I’m not sure she’d be an awesome customer.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Lola
          February 4, 2012 at 8:39 am

          I don’t want her to buy my stuff and just add it to her hoard, never to be seen again. No sir, I don’t like it.

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • pixiemartin
      February 3, 2012 at 7:46 pm

      1) I misread your name as CraftyYoni, which made me laugh.

      2) And I feel the need for Petja-Herra to chime in on this.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  24. symphonieeroica55
    February 3, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Does she just blindly head desk her number-pad keyboard while attempting to type in her sleep? Her alchemy request (especially the tags section) is almost impossible to read (translation?). This is insane beyond drunk.

    I want to see if she makes anything. Presumably, including crystals (and perhaps some sparkly “vintage” Victorian Etsy fabric).

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  25. thecatsmeow
    February 3, 2012 at 9:50 am

    I just love Courtney Love.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  26. meanbeads
    February 3, 2012 at 9:50 am

    Courtney Love bought beads from me off of Etsy. True story.

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

    • PaganChick
      February 3, 2012 at 9:55 am

      I’m so sorry to hear that. You have my condolences.

      Thumb up Thumb down +24

    • amber e
      February 3, 2012 at 9:56 am

      Were you supplied with a PO box or a real address? I only ask because I imagine her to be too wasted to realize she shouldn’t put her real street listing out there….

      Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • pearlheartgtr
      February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

      And do you ever wonder where they might have ended up?

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  27. Easily_Distracted
    February 3, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Damn. I’m not in her Favorites.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  28. Mistletoe
    February 3, 2012 at 10:04 am

    The hell with communism; PEOPLE ARE DYING OF ETSY!

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  29. skarah1313
    February 3, 2012 at 10:04 am

    The dog looks like it wants to jump out of the car window to it’s death. Poor little furry air filter.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • OhHowMyBrainHurts
      February 3, 2012 at 12:02 pm

      He definitely looks like he’s ready to make a break for it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  30. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 3, 2012 at 10:07 am

    You know you’re old when you read this and think “Holy shit! the Cobain kid is old enough to DRINK now??? Didn’t Kurt die like 5 years ago???”

    Thumb up Thumb down +90

    • FatGayLoser
      February 3, 2012 at 10:36 am

      I was just thinking the same thing. I feel like I’m still 20 years old… well bits of me do anyway.

      Thumb up Thumb down +33

    • noey1210
      February 3, 2012 at 11:39 am

      Right? He died my freshman year of high school and I’m still all “THAT WAS RECENT, DAMN IT!” Then I look at dates and am sad. Of course, I’m also pissed that everything that was awesome in the 90′s is now considered ‘classic’. >.<

      Thumb up Thumb down +36

      • Vagrarian
        February 3, 2012 at 12:02 pm

        Hell, kids who were born the day I graduated college have now (probably) graduated college themselves.

        I am now depressed.

        Thumb up Thumb down +23

      • FilliamHMuffman
        February 3, 2012 at 2:38 pm

        I graduated college in 1990, you snotnosed punk. (There isn’t really a tongue-in-cheek emoticon. Alas.)

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Annie
        February 3, 2012 at 7:22 pm

        Hell, I was 11 when he died and I still get pissed that things from the 90s are considered ‘classic.’

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Betty Cracker
      February 3, 2012 at 2:29 pm

      If it makes you feel any better, the article was wrong; she’s actually 19 now, not at the time she filed for the restraining order.

      That’s probably not much help, though.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  31. RedSoloCup
    February 3, 2012 at 10:09 am

    Her favorites are a little strange. Lots of feathers… yikes…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  32. Wile E SongDog
    February 3, 2012 at 10:09 am

    To be fair, according to a news article the dog died from eating her pills and cigarette butts which I am reasonably sure she did not buy off Etsy.

    It’s amazing that the daughter managed to not only survive to legal adulthood but also seems relatively normal, thank goodness she was able to get away from her. She also has a restraining order against Love for her new dog.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

    • OhHowMyBrainHurts
      February 3, 2012 at 11:48 am

      That’s good to hear, because I’ve been worrying about that child since the day she was born!

      Thumb up Thumb down +29

    • researchgrrrl
      February 3, 2012 at 2:19 pm

      I seem to recall Frances Bean went to live with her grandparents in her early teens and applied for (and was granted) status as an emancipated minor. So, not only is she drop-dead gorgeous, but she’s smart, too.

      Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • angel drawers
      February 3, 2012 at 5:45 pm

      I wouldn’t be so sure she didn’t buy those from Etsy.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Lola
      February 4, 2012 at 8:47 am

      I’ve also been keeping an eye on Frances all these years, I was worried about her before she was even born. I hope her life ends up really wonderful. Can you even imagine what it must have been like to have that slobbering drunken hoarding junkie for a mom? I can, because my mom was like her. It wasn’t easy. She’s just getting her life off the ground now, let’s hope she stays strong and does well.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  33. Bronc Drywall
    February 3, 2012 at 10:34 am

    I like her moxie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  34. Parliament Steampunkadelic
    February 3, 2012 at 10:37 am

    “Celebrity (stretchy) Skin”

    Oh, make another
    Body suit all lacy
    Of stretchy fabric
    With ruffles at the feet

    Hey, so why don’t you make it
    Yeah, now you’ll really make it
    Hey, so why don’t you make it now

    Oh look at my post
    My words are misshapen
    Just like the fabric
    My cat got tangled in

    Hey, so why don’t you make it
    Yeah, now you’ll really make it
    I had two but none left now

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  35. thepinkpotter
    February 3, 2012 at 10:46 am

    I *was* a huge fan of hers. Drugs do crazy shit to you after long periods of time. Speaking of how “normal” Frances Bean turned out… You simply MUST check out her drawings.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  36. RisaRocksIt
    February 3, 2012 at 10:47 am

    She does have 100% positive feedback, so at least there’s that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  37. jlog46
    February 3, 2012 at 11:00 am

    Etsy = Communism.

    Who knew?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Lady Gewgaw
      February 3, 2012 at 11:35 am

      Etsy > Communism!

      From each according to their artistic ability,
      to each according to their need for whimsicle fuckery.

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

      • Mugsy Doodle
        February 3, 2012 at 12:09 pm

        ^^^Sampler!^^^

        Hell, that would be a great embroidered pillow!

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Lady Gewgaw
          February 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

          It rather would. Anybody who wants to make one has not only my blessing but my deranged affection.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

  38. Leucadia
    February 3, 2012 at 11:10 am

    I really wish Etsy still offered Alchemy. I got many useful items that way, including bits of plain but time-consuming sewing (like when I needed 10 yards of pleated trim for a costume, didn’t have a ruffling foot & didn’t want to learn how). Right now I want someone to replicate a very simple, beloved but tattered old slip I have, but in silk charmeuse instead of polyester. Does anyone know of a place where you can still request custom work, besides trolling through a million Etsy sellers to guess which one might be able to make it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  39. Belinda
    February 3, 2012 at 11:11 am

    Now the perfect circle-jerk makes sense!
    Etsy kills cats.
    Paypal can be used to help cats but not kids.
    See! All is right with the world.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  40. FullofWhit
    February 3, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -15

  41. swaan
    February 3, 2012 at 11:12 am

    As an absolute devotee of Hoarders (the awesome TV show that reminds me there are people more fucked up than I am AND inspires me to clean out my drawers), I would do ANYTHING to see the inside of Courtney’s house.

    From the safety of my own home, of course. Because the smell, good lord, the SMELL.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

    • Belinda
      February 3, 2012 at 11:15 am

      The size of some smells can’t be changed.

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

    • lemon_bombs
      February 3, 2012 at 11:21 am

      Everyone I know (including me) watches Hoarders and then gets busy cleaning. And everyone I know who admits it says, “Wow, other people do that too?”

      Thumb up Thumb down +33

      • swaan
        February 3, 2012 at 12:42 pm

        Ah, thank you! All of my friends think I’m crazy, which is true, but at least I’m not the only one!

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • lulupopalot
        February 3, 2012 at 1:14 pm

        No, no. You watch Hoarders to get perspective so you don’t have to clean.
        “Dishes in the sink? p-sha! At least there’s none in the bathtub!” Then drink more wine.

        Thumb up Thumb down +45

      • asecondsolution
        February 3, 2012 at 7:51 pm

        Yep, I can’t get through an episode of Hoarders without starting to run around and clean stuff.

        However I often watch The Biggest Loser while eating. It doesn’t seem to have a similar effect.

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • catherder
        February 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

        And when the house is clean, I end up cleaning out/reorganizing closets, drawers, etc. I once watched a marathon of Hoarders and then spent the next couple of weeks cleaning out every closet in the house.

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

        • Lola
          February 4, 2012 at 8:55 am

          Me too! I watched a marathon of Hoarders on Netflix a couple of weeks ago, and frankly, I haven’t been the same since. I might have become obsessed with organizing and throwing useless crap out.

          At least my useless crap doesn’t have mouse feces and dead cat urine all over it. Go me!

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • pearlheartgtr
      February 3, 2012 at 1:59 pm

      I love the episodes where it’s like an archaeological dog. Removing layers of sediment to find fossilized and mummified remains.

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

      • pearlheartgtr
        February 3, 2012 at 2:06 pm

        *dig

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • angel drawers
          February 3, 2012 at 5:47 pm

          I preferred dog.

          Thumb up Thumb down +17

        • Whirlwitch
          February 3, 2012 at 6:36 pm

          In some cases, it dang well IS an archaeological dog. Or cat, as the case may be.

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

  42. Steampink
    February 3, 2012 at 11:17 am

    Oh God I couldn’t get through reading that profile. It’s like one big run-on.

    Though I love that the article specified that the fabric was from Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  43. ScannerBarkly
    February 3, 2012 at 11:18 am

    I managed to translate it…I think. I had to get wasted to do so.

    “I came on about two years and got two from edera and cream. Both were fabulous and both got stolen. I’d look at Woldrods 6K, 60th anniversary, silly turtleneck with stockings for the pattern, but otherwise it’s free-style baby, footless, armless lovely scooped neck, appliques might be great. Send scans so I can see and how much time you’ll need. There is no such thing as good stretch lace on this planet and that’s a fact we aren’t, also crystals and a few little feathers on here, and maybe ruffles at the feet, small ones, let me know, Courtney”

    Oh god, my head hurts!

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  44. lemon_bombs
    February 3, 2012 at 11:19 am

    And I thought I’d seen it all. Not like I’d wanted to, but still.

    I second the Courtney Love on Hoarders idea. The train that is the trainwreck is sooooo loooooong.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  45. moholiest
    February 3, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Did Courtney Love kill alchemy? Because that could possibly make sense.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  46. Imarobot
    February 3, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Makes sense, she killed Kurt too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • pearlheartgtr
      February 3, 2012 at 3:40 pm

      Funny how people are thumbing down your post (and other’s) but yet are thumbing up Bronc’s for saying the same thing.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  47. TheEdwardianGirl
    February 3, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Note to self: hide cats from Etsy purchases.

    At first I thought the profile was fake until I clicked on the link.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  48. Holytape
    February 3, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Courtney Love is a great crafter. Her up-cycled crack pipe brooch was pretty, although it wasn’t bedazzled enough for my taste. But her ooak hipster-steampunk up-cycled used herion needle shrug was to die for. It was as classy as the artist herself. Although the downsize is that I think it gave me hepatitis.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  49. Kiyarasabel
    February 3, 2012 at 11:52 am

    I didn’t even know she was still alive.

    I guess I got her mixed up with Anna Nicole Smith.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Mapleleaves
      February 3, 2012 at 3:26 pm

      I was working at an energy company on the trading floor – four ten-foot monitors at each end of the room broadcasting cable news in case something happened that would effect the energy markets.

      The only time anything came on those TVs that absolutely brought the room to a standstill was when Anna Nicole Smith died.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  50. Bronc Drywall
    February 3, 2012 at 11:57 am

    I don’t know if you should be allowed to keep your dead husband’s last name if you’re the reason he’s dead.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

    • Vagrarian
      February 3, 2012 at 12:03 pm

      I call that “Social Necrophilia.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • Lola
      February 4, 2012 at 8:59 am

      She didn’t take is name in the first place, she’s always Courtney Love, not Courtney Cobain.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  51. jeanknee
    February 3, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Well shit. I sold her some cards from my etsy store. They had crowns on them, apparently she went through a “crown” phase.

    And to think cards from this fat, jealous, loser may have killed a cat. Oh my.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • moholiest
      February 3, 2012 at 12:22 pm

      Or just reliving the whole Miss World thing: my god, she’s awful now, but I loved Live Through This.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  52. Vagrarian
    February 3, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    So I wonder what an “alchemy thing” is. Is she trying to turn something into gold?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Mugsy Doodle
      February 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm

      Serious question: Were you not around here when Etsy had an Alchemy option? You can find some in the Regretsy archives.

      It’s like the iWant aspect of the forums: People who are looking for a unique thing to be handmade put out a notice, giving details and the price they’re willing to pay, and anyone who could and wanted to meet those demands would be in touch.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • Vagrarian
        February 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

        Actually, more like I had a moment of brain death. And it didn’t dawn on me until a moment ago.

        Ugh. I need a drink.

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • Vagrarian
          February 3, 2012 at 1:29 pm

          I mean, ever have those moments when you say something you think is smart and/or funny, and then everyone looks at you like you just sprouted antennae, and then you realize you just said something completely and utterly boneheaded? Yeah, it’s one of those moments.

          Thumb up Thumb down +22

    • little ida
      February 3, 2012 at 8:36 pm

      she’s been trying to turn her dead husband into gold for the last 18 years.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  53. pezzazz
    February 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Hah. I’m a few days behind on Regretsy and just added her when I saw someone on my feed did. I assumed it would be fake but amusing.

    If she notices the sudden extra attention, oh, will her flounce will be fun. Tattered, stretch lace flounce with maybe crystals.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  54. CaityCat
    February 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    Autocorrect: use it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • researchgrrrl
      February 3, 2012 at 2:23 pm

      If you were her autocorrect, wouldn’t you go the way of Kurt, too?

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  55. viveca_cynical
    February 3, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    When she says she likes “crystals” I think she really meant crystal (meth)!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  56. jeanknee
    February 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm
    • massha
      February 4, 2012 at 8:17 pm

      hey – off topic – your crown cards are LOVELY

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  57. BadMiya
    February 3, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    How high do you have to be write that poorly?
    Yikes!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  58. pip
    February 3, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    Can’t stand her. Had a very unpleasant run-in with her when she-oh, nevermind. She’s probably try to sue my ass for bringing it up in a public forum.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • pearlheartgtr
      February 3, 2012 at 2:09 pm

      Do you really think she remembers anything older than a few days ago?

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

    • Captain Pasty
      February 3, 2012 at 5:18 pm

      *oh well, whatever, nevermind :p

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • cimorenegal
      February 4, 2012 at 12:45 am

      You can’t tease us like that. We’re fat jealous losers who just want to hear the dirt.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  59. thecreightonberyl
    February 3, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    The Vowel Owl paid her a visit, and bombarded her Consonant Cat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  60. Captain Pasty
    February 3, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    I would love to have a Courtney Love x Jacqueline Stallone typed copy of My Immortal.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  61. loveheylola
    February 3, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    She has an older account, too: http://www.etsy.com/people/cherryforever666

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • pezzazz
      February 4, 2012 at 3:38 pm

      That account is fun – especially the feedback left for others. So many questions…

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • pezzazz
        February 4, 2012 at 3:39 pm

        I’ve favorited some of the same things. Because I smoke crack.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • ieatbbcakes
      June 1, 2012 at 8:38 pm

      she bought like 500$ worth of my merch a few years ago.

      i was also featured on regretsy a few years ago.

      connections.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  62. cautionary tail
    February 3, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    The most shocking thing about this to me is that Frances Bean is 19. When did that happen? Last I heard she was a toddler. God, I’m getting old. As for the rest of this train-wreck, it sounds like par for the course.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  63. little ida
    February 3, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    “I want to be the girl with the most lace.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  64. Trickster
    February 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    I’m going out on a limb and predicting she might have been a wee bit high when she wrote that Alchemy request. I tried to read that fucking thing five times and still don’t know what she’s asking for–stretch lace bodysuit with ruffles on the edges or something?

    Oh, who am I kidding…I don’t think Courtney’s ever been sober in her life. If only I could be so famous from riding the coattails of an unwashed musical genius under his early exit. We should all be so lucky.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  65. babygotbakshi
    February 4, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    Dammit Courtney. Stop making me ashamed to be your last apologist.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  66. hkath
    February 6, 2012 at 11:30 am

    I saw her live about a year and a half ago. Went there expecting to just roll my eyes and make fun of her the whole time, but to my utter shock, she turned out to be incredible on stage. So vulnerable and honest. Best show I saw at that entire 13-day festival.

    So she’s a hoarder with obvious substance abuse issues, a dead cat, a legion of internet haters and a restraining order from her daughter. All of that really sucks. I feel bad for her.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • babygotbakshi
      February 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

      I had the exact same experience. Totally expecting her to crash and burn in Dallas about year ago. Imagine my shock when she sang well, showed up looking clean, made witty banter and hung out with fans after the show.

      I wish she could have those days more often.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  67. RiRi McNabb
    October 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    I love it that she used the word “idiots” in the first sentence. LOL. Stay classy.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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