There is a palm-shaped dent in my face now.
Dumbass I’d Like to Frack? Beyond stewpid …
and you know damn well they took multiple pictures of the kid and then picked the best one to post….
choosing the one where the kid has the gaping open mouth was the obvious choice.
Every time you post a comment, I remember what you *actually* look like and my mind goes pleasantly blank. DAMN YOU!!!!!
Awww shucks… flattery will get you absolutely everywhere.
Does that count as incest?
Incest! Fun for the whole family! Wait, WHAT?
Lol darn it, was going to write “Incest – the game the whole family can play.” Darn it all to heck.
Remember: if you can’t keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.™
That DOES need to be a sampler.
Incest is best! Put your family to the test!!
My parents are AWOL.
Airbrushing without literacy?
Artless Wanky Obese Losers. And that shit runs in the family..
The words are “Dedicated, Involved, etc” but what it says is “Barely Literate.”
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Something tells me that could be a #1 best seller in Appalachia, if they had the internet…and computers…and electricty…
And you weren’t a prejudiced dick.
Especially considering that West Virginia and Pennsylvania are two of 25 states in which you’re not legally permitted to marry a cousin.
Also, while I was born in Maryland and have lived all over the place, I’m now a WV resident and the Internet, computers, and electricity are three of my favorite inventions! They all work together quite well. I thank Al Gore every day.
You ARE permitted to marry your first cousins once removed in WV and PA, though- and, of course, 2nd cousins etc.
Yeah, the marriage license comes with a paper stating that first cousins cannot be married under PA law, and cosanguinous marriage is general not done (though I doubt a lot of people around here understand cosanguinous). Look, it’s not about the area of the country. I moved from KY to PA and what the Indiana Hoosiers are to Kentuckians, the West Virginnies are to Pennsylvanian.
I’m pretty sure that is everywhere.
Now look what you did. You misspelled Arkansas and forced these kind people to beat their hamsters into running faster so they could type angrily before the electricity went out. For shame.
For some reason I am highly interested in meeting her father…
You spelled “fucking idiot” wrong.
They just need to add one I after the DILF part, for Idiot.
Jesus. And the photo is practically an updiaper shot.
Nothing like a diaper to appeal to the scat fetishist in all of us…
What the shit?
Pics, or he isn’t really one.
If he’s dressing his kid in that, he isn’t anyway.
Words are insufficient to convey the sound of my mind boggling.
That sound usually means large chunks of plastic rattling around followed by frantic scribbing.
Do you have plastic cubed in your brain?
Cue the soundtrack to Lolita or Deliverance? Decisions, decisions, decisions…
Ooh, there’s that CILF.
I think you meant to type CWLF.
No. I’m selfish.
“Engage holodeck orgy sequence Number One!”
Oh my! Make it so!
The designer puts the “K” in Klassy.
I was thinking more along the lines of puts the “fun” in dysfunctional”
or the ‘sensual’ in ‘non-consensual’
That is going in my wedding announcements!
So you have a mutually non-consensual relationship?
I was going to mention “ass” in “class[y]“, but it seems kind of lame in comparison.
Using your kids clothing to get laid is very classy.
Better to use your dog.
BGS: This morning I passed a dogwalker waiting in line at the coffee truck, with 4 big fluffy dogs waiting patiently. I looked at all of them as I walked by as slowly as I could. I was SO tempted to reach out and give a nice scritch to any of them and a big hug. REALLY tempted. More relaxing and centering than a nice cup of tea, to my mind (and I love tea.)
I resisted, but it was almost a physical strain!
The last one in the group, a white standard poodle that was a giant fluff ball–minimally clipped–looked up at me and I could read “You and I both know you want to; I’m fluffy, I’m cuddly, but I’m not a hugger, so keep going, missy” in his eyes.
Yeah, my female dog is like that. It’s funny how smart dogs really are and how they really do communicate with humans. Most people don’t stop and take the time to read their eyes…ahh…those eyes…they say everything…Oh Mugs, I just knew you were one of those special people who did take the time…We really must have tea together sometime…xoxo
With my dog, you wouldn’t have that option. She’s a beagle and she firmly believes that people were put here to give her attention. So, she would have run into your way, jumped on your leg and barked if you still didn’t pay enough attention.
That’s why I like beagles. They’re so damn friendly.
Wish my husband was more like our Hankdog.
And the seller thinks that KIDS have a difficult way of telling people they love them? Well, they might be right about this kid, now.
I am sure they are completely aware what DILF means. That is way worse than them not knowing. People put this shit on chilren and it is gross. The kids don’t know, but I dont want to look at a sweet kids face and think of “5 dollar footlongs” with an arrow to the diaper if I didn’t get the point (a FB friend posted her kid int hat onesie :X )
Well, once something’s on the Internet, it’s virtually impossible to erase, so your friend’s kid will have evidence for having the parents declared unfit. And material for therapy sessions, too.
See… that shirt could be funny on a kid if that was printed on the back and pointing to the diaper…
Funny and gross…
Or be a reminder why the condom would have been a good idea that one night.
….don’t hit me….
May I hug you, instead? I appreciate common sense.
Birth Control For All (Who want it, of course. Otherwise who will feed the kitty for my Soc- Sec?)
I’m assuming the seller knows what DILF usually stands for, but doesn’t have a good grip on grammar – so they thought the “i” in DILF would refer to the person reading the caption, not the person wearing it.
this one is even better.
“when do we grow up so we can ditch these assholes??”
Seriously, if I have children they are wearing t-shirts with “when do we grow up so we can ditch these assholes??” printed on them.
I clicked on the link to see the kids shirt with “when do we grow up so we can ditch these assholes??”
Disappointed. Sad face.
Actually I bet she knows exactly what she was doing. The idea being to shock people thinking “OH HOW VULGAR!” until they read what’s underneath, then they laugh.
That doesn’t mean her idea is in good taste.
Course it’s in bad taste. But let’s face it, she’s going for the shock factor in hopes to sell more.
Oh good. So her idea is only MILDLY inappropriate.
Like having to drive really close to the car in front of you so you can read the bumper stickers?
I don’t want to have to stare at anyone’s kid long enough to read their onesies.
except nobody’s laughing.
Well, there may be nervous laughter.
You know the parents’ attitude is if you don’t laugh after you read the fine print and “get the joke,” then there’s something wrong with you and you are too serious.
Sometimes I really hate people. Especially people who reproduce and ignore their responsibility.
Let’s face it, some parents are just plain out and out morons. Like the ones who have their kids flip the camera the bird thinking it’s funny.
I’ve done and faced it.
Some people aren’t qualified to be responsible for themselves, much less spawn.
Have you looked at the rest of their store? They make me look normal and well adjusted to society.
And that’s really saying something too.
I say this with love and kindness…
You are right! That is saying something.
They make me look downright educated. We’re creatures of comparison…just find someone more fucked up than yourself so you can feel good!
“Kids sometimes have a difficult way of telling their parents how much they mean to them. This toddler tee makes the statement for them.”
I would prefer they give me a picture they drew to show their love for me than me dressing them up in that shirt because my ego needs stroking.
Not to mention that children probably don’t show love through sexually charged comments, and if they do…something about the downfall of Western Civilization.
I don’t see how this person could ever have had a toddler if he/she thinks that they have difficulty showing affection. They’re not TEENS, for Christ’s sake. My toddlers were always clinging to me, showering me with kisses, asking for hugs and snuggles, and saying, “I love you, Mommy!”
But fuck that, I’d rather have them communicate it to me with a pre-printed T-shirt that someone else wrote and that I made them wear. Because nothing says my kids love me like a message that has nothing to do with them.
Although I would totally buy this one:
All right, and maybe this one.
That’s hilarious and possibly appropriate. It shows the selfishness of babies and puts it right out there. Babies are all about eating, sleeping and releasing the waste products of what they have eaten so that they may eat again. So, this would be a good t-shirt message…for so many reasons.
The creativity of people has been sucked out by their ipods and smartphones. They need a pre-printed message. It’s part of being a helpless consumer!
And, eventually no one will talk to each other except in texts and in messages on their t-shirts.
I thought of at least five great hipsters tees while reading your comment.
This is why some people should not reproduce.
Then in a generation we’d have nothing to make fun of on Etsy!
also, Dan Payne
“Don’t I Look Foolish”
“I can help you make one of these!!!”
Is the Oedipus segment of the market really large enough to warrant catering to the demographic?
You mean Electra, right?
See: MILF onesie.
That too. Either way it’s nasty.
…..and yet, I have to have a license to have my dog.
Is it a DYLF? (Dog you’d Like…. well you get the idea)
Hey, there’s a market for doggie t-shirts!!!
Show how much you love your pooch…
With the Oedipus outfit they didn’t even pretend to come up with an alternative meaning.
“This is my Mom, and, yes, I’d like to fuck her.” There’s no other meaning of MILF. It’s first person. It’s not MYLF.
Yes, you are right. This could lead to a lot of confusion, perhaps a CPS visit. Scary stuff.
Sometimes you think you are being paranoid and overprotective…then you see a picture of a toddler in a milf t shirt
I’d love to ask either of these sellers, “So you obviously wouldn’t object to your child wearing a shirt that says, ‘I’m with the mom/dad I’d like to fuck,’ right? There’s no difference between the acronym and the actual phrase, right?”
They would report you for a convo like that and etsy would close your account without notification. Cheers!
Yesterday I went for a hike and on the trail a father, a mother, and a 10-year-old-ish daughter approached. The father’s shirt front said FBI. My friend works for the government so he looked behind us as they passed and saw that the shirt back said, “Female body inspector.”
Or how about those lovely shirts that just say, “I have a huge cock,” or “I love porn.”
YES! YAY AMERICA!
Wait…this was sarcastic. sads…
I saw someone wearing a shirt that said “I can smell your cunt”. Maybe that could be put on a onesie with the addition of “and I’m getting nostalgic”.
I imagine the shirt was to cover his “no fat chicks” tattoo with silhouette.
Yeah, we told that joke in 5th grade. That was 1968.
I actually still giggle when I see one of those shirts, but…ehhh…no explanation needed.
No………just…no…….Please God, kill all the stupid people.
MILF = Masturbating .. Involved .. Loving .. Father
Midnight Institution of Lazy FJL’s
I want to fuck holes that babies came from!
That’s the spirit!
Poor, poor melancholy owl… looking for oviducts in all the wrong places.
INfants of WalMart collection
Hardly. There are no orange or red stains..and most of them cover a diaper.
I’m waiting for the “My father is a Catholic Priest.” baby onies.
That’s sooo wrong in so many ways.
Yeah, nothing says “cute and innocent” like a t-shirt that suggests, “Yeah, my daddy’s hot and I want to nail him!”
Or, more likely, “My daddy thinks he’s hot and wants to call attention to that by trying to make people think I’m attracted to my own father, but I’m just a toddler so what the hell do I know? And anyway, why the fuck would Daddy want people to think I want to nail him?”
You put it that way and it leads to more questions. It’s a toddler so it can barely stand up without holding onto something but somehow it knows the concept of what is sexy even though it has a very sheltered life and doesn’t know that many people.
The whole thing is confusing and they just need to take all the shirts outside and burn them. Burn them all…let the fire cleanse what has been defiled.
Oh HAHA! Look! It’s so….oh wait. That’s not funny. It’s dumb.
Oh and…this baby will haunt your nightmares.
Click it. Go on…do it. You know you want to….
Oh, when will I learn not to click a link in Regretsy? When???
I dunno. Guess this wasn’t the time. ;D
But tell me that is not terrifying. Someone has been playing with photoshop actions…with horrifying results.
Motherfucker…is that posessed baby wearing thigh-highs? Tell me I’m seeing this wrong. Because either I’m reeeeaaalllly wrong, or that seller is.
You’re correct, and it’s from the Jonbenet Prosti-tot collection. I guarantee with about 70% certainty this kid is going to wind up in a pageant circuit with a vicaroiusly competitive basket-case of a chain-smoking mom/manager.
In seriousness…they are baby leg warmers. Which are basically socks with no feet on them.
They do look like that I suppose….
They are trendy, this is true. But do have a practical application.
I just made my own buying socks from the dollar store and cutting the feet off.
I thought “Ecstacy Baby Formula” was recalled.
From the heart of hell I stab at Miya!
Dear god in heaven help me , i need eye and mind bleach
“There was a boy who had two children with his sister,
They were his daughters, they were his favourite lovers”
pedo bear where would the world be without you ….
Could be worse.
Wanna REALLY confuse people? Put your daughter in that outfit…
Wow. Someone thought that was a good thing to put on a kid’s t-shirt. Only pedophiles would appreciate that…
Gotta stop clicking the links…I didn’t need to know about this.
Holy crap… there’s a whole new level of insanity at CafePress. The “DILF” outfit is almost tame in comparison.
It says “My baby is just a eye-catching device to trick people into looking and learning about my hate. Like Ann Coulter does for Fox.
“I have such a small penis that I must make up for it by putting my son in inappropriate clothing. Also, I drive a Hummer.”
That’s what that says to me.
Every time I see a Hummer I always check for a vanity plate. Still waiting for the most obvious and truthful one: PENIS CAR
(The 40-something ex-husband in Cybil Shepherd’s sitcom–not Moonlighting, “Cybil,” maybe?–bought a red sports car and said he should get that on a license plate because “that’s really what it is—a penis car.”)
Yes, Cybil. I think her name on the show was Cybil Sheridan or something.
That was on Regretsy before: http://www.regretsy.com/2011/08/03/the-top-5-most-inappropriate-onesies/
Except written differently. In other words, it appears someone may have ripped someone else off to make these!
Oh! That explains what happens when you click on the picture.
I am confused. Do you mean the picture FilliamHMuffman posted?
Also SQUEEK! HK responded to me on the same day as Mugsy Doodle! My life is complete!
Oh! Did you think I was referring to the photo you posted? I was referring to the “Hung Like a Five Year Old” thing on FilliamHMuffman’s post, which was featured on the same page as the one you brought up again! Sorry for the confusion!
I’m not worthy to be in the same sentence as HK.
I agree with Mugsy’s statement.
6eisha, I’m SO insulted. Not.
Does this mean you want to be my own personal troll? AWESOME! Can I presume you’re going to make a point of giving me a down vote no matter what I post? That you’re going to take the extra time to look for my posts specifically—the posts of a complete stranger on the Internet, who has no presence in your life at all—so you can give me a thumbs down, gleeful in the thought that you’re insulting me and making me angry, by reducing the approval of random strangers on the Internet? GREAT!
Hey, any chance you could open a half dozen other accounts, so you log in to each one every time you see a post from me and you’ll down vote me from each one? Oh, come on—you know you want to!
I’m so touched that you think I’m worth all of your effort and time.
Wish I could say the same in return.
Calm down. I’d already thumbed up your penis car comment. And if I remember correctly, within the last days half of the answers on my comments came from you – not counting of course the little incident of the previous post.
It’s almost like you know what you’re doing, HK.
I thought the internet was doing all this shit by itself. Excuse me while I kiss this Sky…Net.
I’ll have what she’s drinking.
But they are made from organic cotton!
Someone forgot to extrapolate their acronyms mentally before putting them on a onesie with transfer paper.
These are still tamer than “BILF” shirts. Also:
Front: “My Mommy Loves Me”
Back: “…Every Chance She Gets!”
As long as the rings of Hades only go to Ninth, I might as well keep it up.
Finland was a television advertisement, a food mill advertised “Our mother will make your mothers ‘food’
I was then e-commerce, where the shirts were sold, “Our father will make your mother’s children”
In NYC we used to have a financial investing firm that began with the father and then handed down to the daughter.
She did a radio commercial that I suspect she wrote herself and it took a few weeks before it went off the air, perhaps because someone pointed out to her what the listener could interpret from her words. (The last sentence is verbatim. The rest of the copy is similar to what she usually says.)
I’m Frannie Finance and our company has been in business for 75 years. We can handle all your needs, throughout your entire life. WE’LL SERVICE YOU TO DEATH. Call us!”
Oh. Well, that’s classtacular. Another bright idea from the mind that brought us “I’m with the MILF!”:
Not to mention “I Tore Mommy a New One”. Adorable!
Oh, that’s just dispicable. I can see a little humor in the others, but not that one.
Oh HAHA! Remember that episiotomy I got? All those stitches, the sitz baths and witch hazel; what a load of fun!
If only I could somehow memorialize that experience on my child’s clothing…..
What? Copyright infringement?
No, this isn’t copyright infringement, it’s a derivative…
you know, as long as it’s not black and yellow…and as long as you put “Batman” in quotes, it’s totes legit
AND make the bat all lacy? You’re good to go.
Not to mention Jack Sparrow… Bob Dylan… Ghost Busters… Rocky Horror… the Rolling Stones… the Beatles… KISS… the Princess Bride… Katy Perry… Breakfast at Tiffany’s… Spongebob Squarepants… Snoopy… Lady Gaga… Facebook…
Etsy is such a haven of the offbeat and unique!! Fuck corporate media, man!!!
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